Make Peace with Your Grief and Watch Where It Leads You | Susan McCorkindale | TEDxTysons

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ความคิดเห็น • 305

  • @dreamyboyd4588
    @dreamyboyd4588 4 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    Grief is just one of those things that is so different for everyone but this lady is so right - any motivation, any little bit of house work that gets done... Should be celebrated as win.

  • @janinelewis8753
    @janinelewis8753 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Five months ago I lost my mother and husband both unexpectedly in the same week. I have been told I have complex grief. All I know is two people who meant the world to me are gone, and because I have children who are also in pain life must go on. This is the best explanation of grief I have heard. Thank you for your wisdom.

    • @ButtersCCookie
      @ButtersCCookie ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you for sharing. I am moved and share your pain. I am holding you in my thoughts and heart. What's left of it.

    • @christopherscotellaro
      @christopherscotellaro 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      We will never meet but please know you are loved. I love you. Peace.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I feel for you, how absolutely tragic. I'll keep you in my prayers.

    • @clockworkkey7784
      @clockworkkey7784 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I lost two people that are dear to me too at the same time. Is it called complex grief? Thanks for sharing that. It's is complex and strange and maddening and unbelievable. I'm sitting with it. I want to know they ar really there on the other side waiting for us 🙏

  • @arnoldschram9155
    @arnoldschram9155 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Grief can be the most transforming and humbling thing to go through. I loved the way Susan told her story... Kind of magic. Beautiful.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you very much, Arnold!

    • @Jungaloowi333
      @Jungaloowi333 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      losing someone I loved so so much humbled me beyond belief. I learned a very very hard lesson.

  • @DJ-yj1vg
    @DJ-yj1vg ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The worst comment I had was to draw a line in the sand so to speak. In other words, after a point in time, just forget about dad and live your life. But my dad was a large part of my life. He's the reason I got back into woodworking because it calmed me down during mums own cancer battle. It helped me feel close to him., which gave me strength

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      No one should ever suggest such a thing. Keep your dad in your heart as you move forward, and he will help you be strong and find joy.

  • @bjw2585
    @bjw2585 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I lost my husband a month ago. Which seems like eternity, and just a moment.
    Your talk was remarkable. Thank you!
    I am going to think of margaritas when I wake up in the morning each day, and wade through my ocean of grief.

    • @rkms5606
      @rkms5606 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🙏🏿🤗

  • @sylviamcdevitt327
    @sylviamcdevitt327 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    It has been 20 years since Chase Daniel left us at 4 1/2 months old. We still have difficulty, but we are able to talk about him and speak about some of the sweet memories we have, though he was with us for a very short time. While the tragedy will never leave us, we are able to keep his little soul alive. He is our personal angel.

  • @davidnevin5515
    @davidnevin5515 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Love the speaker. Thanks for sharing.
    My wonderful wife passed away four weeks ago. I had cared for her for many years with dementia. Yes I grieved. But my wife is definitely in Heaven enjoying all God’s Blessings. What could be more wonderful than that. She is the lucky one, and I use her inspiration to have myself now helping others in our Community.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You're a good man and you were obbviously a wonderful husband. Your community is lucky to have you!

  • @ghostdog7306
    @ghostdog7306 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My daughter died and I'm having a hard time functioning very well. Thank you for sharing that

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm so very sorry. There's a beautiful book called Finding The Words by Colin Campbell. I found real comfort in it. You might, too. I will keep you in my prayers.

  • @XianKai
    @XianKai 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Awesome talk. After dealing with multiple losses in just one year I am still looking for HOW to navigate my days. You've given a path to take.

  • @philaman1972
    @philaman1972 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have no words. I am just in awe of this woman and everyone else who has experienced such trauma.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you so much for watching and leaving me a note.

  • @AnastasiaCostcalla
    @AnastasiaCostcalla 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    What a superb woman she is, having gone through all this and now helping those of us who struggle. Thank you for your words, your honesty and your understanding.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you so very much. I appreciate you watching and leaving me a note!

  • @randisoh
    @randisoh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    You got to take care of yourself first so you can be whole to help others.

  • @jilllatif2330
    @jilllatif2330 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    "We don't move on from our grief, we move forward with it."

  • @thespiritofthehunter
    @thespiritofthehunter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    So much heart, so much spirit. Incredible talk. She absolutely nailed it, to hear that she did so much good after going through such a challenging time... That's a special kind of lady right there. Damn!!

  • @roxg8702
    @roxg8702 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I’ve been busying myself since my hubby passed 4 years ago. I’m exhausted too. Trying to “grieve” during covid ...Thanks for sharing your energy.

  • @tumbleweed0680
    @tumbleweed0680 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Beautiful sharing and so true! Those of us who study or work in mental health/grief and loss have learned just what Sue said. That is, there is a sixth stage of grief- making meaning of it all. We can only do that by giving back some of what we have been given by those we have lost. Finding purpose.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I couldn't agree more. Thank you for sharing that here. It will certainly help others.

  • @geenaremsby
    @geenaremsby 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Beautiful metaphor, sitting in an ocean to feel her grief, she didn't drown she found peace. Thank you Susan, really appreciated this and very timely for me.

  • @maxpoyntz4960
    @maxpoyntz4960 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The most important thing in any loss or change to living, is to feel the pain you are feeling when you're feeling it.

  • @gaborsette
    @gaborsette 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    We don't do anything good with our grief until we allow it in? wow that hit home!

  • @lifebysuzanne9405
    @lifebysuzanne9405 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It’s been a year and half for me since losing my husband to ductal prostate cancer. She is right people say the dumbest things. Society expects us to get over it and move forward. That’s an impossible expectation to put on anyone drowning in grief. My husband fought so hard for his life I was right by his side in the hardest fight of our lives. He died in my arms in bed in our home just like he wanted. Those of us with faith have many neat packaged comments to make too but all I want to do is scream why? Oh he’s in heaven now. Great but I want him with me! If you’ve taken care of your loved one yourself it’s a shock to stop. What do you do now? Routines are hard to let go of. That constant worry stays with you a long time after. What are the labs the scans the tests the appointments what do we do now???? The entire time being a rock that everything will be ok. Pasting that fake smile on all day and crying alone in the shower late at night. So scared. I’d been on a roller coaster of fear, worry, non stop thinking and researching and praying and begging for a miracle. 2 years the battle consumed me and my husband. It takes time just to let that all go. The second guesses after. The what ifs. Would anything made a difference? You think of all that. I am a jersey girl. Steel is in my veins but losing my husband and best friend of 40 years is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever felt in my life and it’s a struggle to move on without him. One of the doctors told me the second year would be worse than the first. I was convinced nothing could be worse than this but I was wrong. I’m Half way thru the second year it’s been so hard. It may take 2 years it may take the rest of my life but I’m not getting over anything and that’s ok. Loss changes us. We are not the same. Hard to bounce back from this. There is not an expiration date on grief. We find our way thru this journey at different times. And that’s ok.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes, the second year is hard. It's all hard. We don't get "over" grief. We just figure out how to navigate with it. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and don't worry about what anyone else has to say. I recall with great clarity the time after my husband's death and the feeling I'd stopped on a dime and didn't know what to do, my routine was gone. Ultimately, I found a new routine, but it took awhile. Be gentle with yourself. I'll be thinking of you.

  • @nancygraskonski
    @nancygraskonski 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Lovely stories from a father who loses his mother and creates her best recipes for her grand children and his children, filled with loving memories.

  • @bcarr5163
    @bcarr5163 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    I saw this on Facebook and watched it here on TH-cam. My husband died last year and it has taken a year for the real grief to set in. Your talk was very moving.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      My deepest condolences. There's no timeline with grief, it ebbs and flows, some days better, some worse. My husband has been gone 9 years and some days it hurts more than when he first passed. On those days I double my efforts (and my patience!) to push my eldest to continue to achieve. It's a good use of my grief, for him and for me. I will keep ou in my prayers.

    • @oscarnotreallyawiener
      @oscarnotreallyawiener 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I lost my wife in 2018 to cancer, I don't think I will feel whole again.

    • @oscarnotreallyawiener
      @oscarnotreallyawiener 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@SusanMcCorkindale Thank you Susan you speak for many of us I see.

    • @kalestanslink
      @kalestanslink 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I saw this today, brought back sad memories of losing my sister, but also good ones. I think we dont forget things that are important.

    • @brewsterdd
      @brewsterdd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I feel you B, lost my sister to cancer, always there in me.

  • @leotencall
    @leotencall 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    What a breath of fresh air... Wow. Grief is such an overwhelming emotion, something I feel I've had to deal with too many times... I think I'll need to rewatch it a few times to be able to let go what I've been holding onto... Susan, thank you for this.

    • @trustfactornow
      @trustfactornow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      i came here to say this!! she's so awesome!! i mean.. i cried..but happy tears in a way i think.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Trust Factor thank you so very much!

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@trustfactornow thank you so very much!

    • @trustfactornow
      @trustfactornow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@SusanMcCorkindale you are very welcome, you talk was wonderful!

  • @lesliecrossI
    @lesliecrossI 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    How refreshing! I think such a perspective does wonders not just with grief but any pain we feel, any discomfort - what is the lesson, how can we grow and how can we let go. If we practiced such awareness more regularly I dare say humanity wouldn't be riddled with imbalance it currently has. Marvelous talk!

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Leslie, thank you. I so appreciate you watching and leaving me such a thoughtful note.

  • @acdebiase
    @acdebiase 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I only have one thing to say. Thank you

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank YOU for watching and leaving me a note.

  • @jaymoneyDollaHolla
    @jaymoneyDollaHolla 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I lost 3 family members in the last 2 years to this awful disease, thank you for speaking out!

    • @gabrielivar
      @gabrielivar 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      i feel you man, hope you're alright

  • @garimamahendru5011
    @garimamahendru5011 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You will move on or get through is the worst phrase one can say to a grieving person. It's just been 6 months since I lost my husband to covid..he was only 36 and I miss him immensely. The loss is huge but as u said...let it simmer to make you do something commendable not for the world but for your ownself. True!

  • @tamyajones1638
    @tamyajones1638 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I really don't like when people say.. You got to get over it and move on.. You gotta live life.. Well yeah but I gotta do it in my time.

  • @ginastyler320
    @ginastyler320 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    One of the best I’ve heared and strucked me. So comforting specially at this time of my raw grief of losing my husband in a sudden and unexpected death. The best advice ever! Hope I can be strong like her after my grief sinks. Thank you for that wonderful and inspiring words, well done and heartily shared.

  • @lauriebaker7608
    @lauriebaker7608 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow this lady is amazing l have a grand daughter 7yearold I'm helping her to read write stories and teaching her another language she's doing well at school I'm so proud of her and my grief is love more give more.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you, Laurie.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you. Your granddaughter is lucky to have you!

  • @Rosinamo5058
    @Rosinamo5058 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I don't think we 'get over it', I feel we just learn to adapt our lives to carry on but know it's still just a part of the new way of life

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's so true. Our grief just becomes part of who we are. Thank you for watching!

  • @priscillasantiago7970
    @priscillasantiago7970 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer too on 8-16-22 n passed 8-31-22 she went fast for that I have peace she didn’t suffer much n went in her sleep but now the pain inside me is so intense

  • @gabrielivar
    @gabrielivar 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Grief is such a hard one. I know between myself and some friends we have been dealt so many blows these past couple of years and watching how we all process differently has been a real thing. One of the girls actually started making us all talk about it and it's made a huge difference, we all get together in a group now and just tell old stories and I think that it has really helped us to understand and move forward. I really liked this one, she's got some awesome points. Going to send it along.

    • @charlottewebbnotthebook
      @charlottewebbnotthebook 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks Gabe

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you for watching, for leaving me such a nice note, and for sharing my talk. I hope you and your friends will continue to tell old stories for a long time to come. Everyone will benefit in many ways.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@charlottewebbnotthebook thank you for watching. I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

  • @phoebec232
    @phoebec232 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I applaud this woman for her journey, so beautiful and so apt. Something we all fear, all go through - but how we cope, how we allow ourselves to process - it's so important.

  • @wrathofviolets
    @wrathofviolets 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I am in tears. I lost my boyfriend to suicide just four months ago. This is so spot on and so incredibly powerful. Thank you so much for sharing

    • @amyfloren4581
      @amyfloren4581 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I am so sorry for this terrible loss you have been through ❤

    • @wrathofviolets
      @wrathofviolets 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@amyfloren4581 Thank you so sincerely much💜

    • @ليناوصاف
      @ليناوصاف 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      My boyfriend died last Friday he was accidentally suffocated by the air conditioning in his car
      I think you know exactly how I'm feeling I hope you are doing well,I'm not ok
      Does it ever get better 💔
      Because it's painful

    • @glory1star
      @glory1star 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ليناوصاف OH No sorry to hear about your lost!❤

    • @sandijamartinsone8488
      @sandijamartinsone8488 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Darling, I am so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain - I lost my fiancee to suicide 2 months ago. Now just Trying to see the light in the tunnel.

  • @emmasmythe
    @emmasmythe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    This talk really got me, tapped into some real emotions about my sisters death, thank you Susan 🥰 😘

    • @thisisjustright
      @thisisjustright 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Agree 10000%

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@thisisjustright thank you!

    • @emmasmythe
      @emmasmythe 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Susan McCorkindale appreciate that and your talk, thank you

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Emma Smythe you’re so very welcome!

    • @justinjjtaylor
      @justinjjtaylor 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      me too, very good talk.

  • @larrykofoed3755
    @larrykofoed3755 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The comments I hate is when people tell me that I have all the memories of my wife. It's those 39 years of memories that haunt me every single day.

  • @regina-reda
    @regina-reda 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This made me cry, such an amazing Ted talk. Thank you Susan, such smart kind words for all of us, as we will all face this.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you Regina!

    • @regina-reda
      @regina-reda 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@SusanMcCorkindale thank you this was so beautiful.

    • @snakejohnson2740
      @snakejohnson2740 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Amazing woman.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@snakejohnson2740 thank you!

    • @deirdrebyrnes2227
      @deirdrebyrnes2227 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me too. I lost my husband a year ago and also went through phase of being so busy. But what really helps is to take moments and let it wash over you

  • @jodikennedy8886
    @jodikennedy8886 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Thank you Susan, I sure went through some memories. I lost my partner too, enough said except thank you again.

  • @emmatshields
    @emmatshields 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She speaks with such love, passion and pain.

  • @jacksonradern
    @jacksonradern 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    i've always stood by the fact that some of the greatest pain we will ever feel will lead to the most growth... well, at least for most of us.

    • @dreamyboyd4588
      @dreamyboyd4588 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "for most of us" ....yep, some of us have a real problem with letting go

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I agree. It takes time, but if the individual is open to it, it will happen. Thank you for watching.

  • @timmymckinley
    @timmymckinley 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    We just lost our Nana a week ago and I am absolutely floored by this explanation of grief... Can't even get the words out proper right now. I'll be sharing this with my family. Thank you.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Tim McKinley My sincere condolences on the loss of your Nana. I’m glad you found my talk helpful.

    • @timmymckinley
      @timmymckinley 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@SusanMcCorkindale That's nice of you Susan, thanks for reaching out.

  • @Blessed2004
    @Blessed2004 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wonderful Susan thank you for taking time to present this for all of us that need it
    I got diagnosed with cancer last year my Mom moved in to help support me
    Few months later she got sick also was stable then slipped through the medical cracks she ended up leaving this world. I am grief stricken we took care of each other
    40 days later found my cousin passed in her sleep again like a sister and support. Your talk helped me. I’m doing well and stable. God Bless xo

  • @johnbradey
    @johnbradey 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What an enlightened and beautiful human being! I am better for having heard these words of wisdom. Thank you!

  • @aaronhorvath3291
    @aaronhorvath3291 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My dad passed away on Ash Wednesday this year, and I'm going through a lot of grief. I feel like I'm just here trying to look for answers and help on TH-cam. I think this video was very helpful.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for watching. I'm happy you found my talk helpful.

  • @nicholaskolokotrone
    @nicholaskolokotrone 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    We hold onto pain for as long as it serves us, when we learn it doesn't anymore we stop.

  • @silviagreta8182
    @silviagreta8182 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love never ends so the grief never ends...u just learn to live with...thats it

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Very true. Thank you for watching and leaving me a note.

  • @sherrieglewis
    @sherrieglewis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    I love that, being still. Lovely talk.

  • @johnjjgravely
    @johnjjgravely 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Now this is raw, real talk, great speaker.

  • @pierremartinetto
    @pierremartinetto 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Ur son is rly lucky to have u. I was diagnosed with autism in my early 20s and if i had a lady like u helping me and showing me the way i feel like things would have gone differently. but u and ur son r very lucky to have each other after all u have been thru.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      pierre martinetto Thank you for your kind words. Please take care of yourself.

  • @leeibbertson1184
    @leeibbertson1184 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you. Beautiful

  • @just-4-meImworthit
    @just-4-meImworthit 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I definitely had a bit of a chuckle when she mentioned the part when she felt like she was going to throttle someone if they gave her one more or hug or asked how she was one more time - i went through that, still am going through that. People dont understand that sometimes you just need to be left alone to process. This lady is pretty fantastic. Really enjoyed this.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just 4 Me Thank you for watching and for the kind words. Take care of you!

  • @mintylava4123
    @mintylava4123 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What an emotional and heartfelt talk, how true. Thank you for your grace Susan

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for your lovely words. I appreciate you watching!

  • @betsysloan4619
    @betsysloan4619 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I loved this talk!
    I am also a Jersey Gal!
    Yes,I am using my grief to help others !

    • @betsysloan4619
      @betsysloan4619 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Susan McCorkindale,
      Thank you!
      I lost my husband on Jan 01,2020.
      Thanks to my husband's journey i became an advocate for Alzheimer's.
      I have a show,Chatting with Betsy .

  • @tubularvideos
    @tubularvideos 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    For so long we have been putting our emotions aside, it's such a relief to see this here now though, finally people are opening up. Healing is on its way

    • @geenaremsby
      @geenaremsby 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I really believe this as well, more and more people are seeking therapy and looking for ways to let go!

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much for wacthing.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@geenaremsby thank you so much for watching.

  • @cindynok
    @cindynok 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wonderful, widowed 4 months and trying to find my way.

  • @andrewtsilas
    @andrewtsilas 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I lost my wife same way, that you Susan, thank you so much!!

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Andrew Silas I’m so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for leaving me a note. I’m glad my talk resonated with you!

    • @christineterpens3136
      @christineterpens3136 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sorry for your loss
      Hope you found comfort in this wonderful talk as I did.

  • @joyjones7745
    @joyjones7745 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was once advised to not only grieve but to grieve well.

  • @childbean2309
    @childbean2309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I lost my grandpa,grandma and my dad in the last 7 months I’m really struggling bt this helped me a lot I’m put my grief into helping my children with school and other activities ...

  • @billiejeanbrasier
    @billiejeanbrasier 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What a beautiful talk, and so gentle. You are a great mom.

    • @billiejeanbrasier
      @billiejeanbrasier 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Susan McCorkindale you are very welcome, wonderful talk that all those facing this should see...

  • @sonthibutsalee
    @sonthibutsalee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    We hurt because it means so much, we heal because we are worth it!

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I love that, Sonthi! Thank you!!

    • @sonthibutsalee
      @sonthibutsalee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@SusanMcCorkindale you are such a good speaker!

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sonthibutsalee thank you so very much!

  • @ليناوصاف
    @ليناوصاف 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm confused devastated
    I lost my boyfriend last Friday
    He was 24 he was beautiful inside out smart full of life tender soft everything 💔I miss him so much I'm scared I'll never be happy again I never knew somebody like him
    Every thing reminds me of him 💔 our car trips our intimate moments when we used to sing together and danse in the car when we smoked when I used to find his car outside waiting for me💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔it's painful

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm so very sorry for your loss. 24 is far too young.

    • @1Rdby
      @1Rdby 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Condolences from the bottom of my heart. I can absolutely empathize with deeply loving and losing a person who is extremely unique in so many ways and feeling that nobody could ever replace them.
      I lost my partner 5 mos ago and I’m still drowning in grief, but getting by day by day.
      God bless and I pray you’re feeling better. ❤️

  • @josuelepiere
    @josuelepiere 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Out of something bad comes something good.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes. If we allow it! Thank you for watching.

  • @therealbellasantarosa
    @therealbellasantarosa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I could feel this, and those tools are going to help many, thank you Susan!

  • @beckham48
    @beckham48 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    You couldn't get over it you live with it thinking about them everyday

  • @lauralarsonre8191
    @lauralarsonre8191 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thanks for sharing Susan. Great story of turning grief into amazing things.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you, Laura. I so appreciate you watching and sharing to spread the message to those you need it.

    • @sienaredders
      @sienaredders 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      It is.

    • @sienaredders
      @sienaredders 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@SusanMcCorkindale I got this Susan, when I lost my partner, I just wanted people to stop telling me how to feel, or tell me I would get over it, I just wanted to mourn and it felt like no-one wanted to let me. Your talk really speaks a truth!!

  • @charliebrownabel
    @charliebrownabel 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I related to this so much. It took me years to understand and process the death of my brother but when i finally did I learnt so much about myself, our family and him.

    • @jaymoneyDollaHolla
      @jaymoneyDollaHolla 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah I feel you man, it's such a hard thing to deal with

    • @AnastasiaCostcalla
      @AnastasiaCostcalla 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      When my sister passed away it took me at least 8 years to get over it. I totally understand.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Losing a sibling is heartbreaking. I lost one of my brothers a few years ago. I miss him every day. Take care of yourself.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@AnastasiaCostcalla death of a sibling is like having a huge part of your insides ripped out. I'm sorry you've had this experience. I have as well. I hope you have wonderful memories to reflect on.

  • @andrewpain_speaker
    @andrewpain_speaker 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    beautifully moving talk

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Andrew, thank you so very much. That means so very much coming from you! Please feel free to share it with anyone you think can benefit from my message.

  • @Akira282
    @Akira282 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    amen Susan. I lost my wife way way too young at 34 due to a chronic lung disease called LAM. We never knew it was as bad as it was. So, it was completely sudden. She died during pregnancy. I now have to raise my daughter without her mom. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • @BruceWayne-nm5cr
    @BruceWayne-nm5cr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is the perspective I needed right now. Fantastic speaker and even better topic. A lot of helpful tools here.

  • @lestnewman
    @lestnewman 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Beautiful and compassionate talk, thank you.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for watching and commenting!

    • @lestnewman
      @lestnewman 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SusanMcCorkindale Thanks for giving the talk Susan, means a lot to me right now.

  • @jeansammy
    @jeansammy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Powerful beautiful story, good people do great things.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you, Jean. I appreciate you watching and leaving me a note!

  • @jngazy526
    @jngazy526 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Recycling her grief into helping her family♥️♥️♥️♥️. God bless you ! I love that idea and I’m going to try it , I kinda feel it working already….

  • @jessTcarter
    @jessTcarter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Those words, 'you'll get through it' dismiss everything you're feeling at the time.

  • @loidazabala2143
    @loidazabala2143 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bravo! kudos to this brave woman👍

  • @darynkatano
    @darynkatano 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My girlfriend died in 2017, at age 19, and at the beginning of this year, I thought I healed significantly from the loss of her, but it's gotten so much worse, and it's breaking me, and I miss her so bad 💔💔💔 I try to cope so much with it by imagining her with me constantly in all kinds of situations, and sometimes, it makes me feel better, but other times, it's extremely hard...

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm very sorry to hear this but ask you to be patient with yourself. Have you explored working with a grief counselor? Mine was excellent and not expensive. I will keep you in my prayers.

  • @aleidbarend
    @aleidbarend 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you Susan for coming out the other end of such tragedy with such wisdom, this talk helped me more then I can put to words. Thank you thank you. God Bless You

  • @tonimt1712
    @tonimt1712 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Ma'am you said it, if I can get out of the bed and get my kids to school on time that's a win. Well I'm starting with just getting them to school. Soon on time..soon with real clothes on. I loaded the dishwasher and wiped the counters.. it's a start. Thank you. I feel understood.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You've got to take the small wins where you can and be easy on yourself. Thank you for watching.

  • @TheBenBenitaShow
    @TheBenBenitaShow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    YOU are a great speaker and you f*cking NAILED THIS!!!!!! Great job!!!

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ben , thank you so much!

    • @keithpotter7366
      @keithpotter7366 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      1000% agreed

    • @sammie4695
      @sammie4695 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why do people always have to use the "F" word, even in your comment on such a sensitive subject as this. No one has any CLASS anymore.

    • @benbenita8628
      @benbenita8628 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sammie4695 Imagine having nothing better to do with your time than post negative comments on social media? In case you were not aware, it IS ok to JUST KEEP SCROLLING!!!! ;-) I hope your day gets better!!!

    • @sammie4695
      @sammie4695 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Look BENNIE, you didn't "keep scrolling". I stand by my comment.If the shoe fits Wear It!

  • @nancyschaefer9748
    @nancyschaefer9748 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, I will going through this soon as my husband is near the end of life……

  • @itanimathoma2584
    @itanimathoma2584 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was exactly what I needed to hear

  • @samuelygeissler
    @samuelygeissler 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bless You Susan!!!

  • @sheilalindsay
    @sheilalindsay 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    love the name of this talk and everything that it is. what a beautiful way to process grief!

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sheila Lindsay Thank you for watching and leaving me a comment!

  • @markheichorn
    @markheichorn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow. I needed this more than I realised.

  • @rontjacks
    @rontjacks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Processing a death is living with death, a soulful disfunction of sorrow and path to recovery that can sometimes take a life time.

  • @jayneelisabet1159
    @jayneelisabet1159 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Amazing lady. I´m still giving lifts in my pyjamas but there is hope now.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Pajamas are acceptable attire for driving. Never rush yourself. Thank you for watching.

  • @m_christine1070
    @m_christine1070 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I lost the love of my life. We had a conflicted relationship. I have so many regrets. I don't want to be in a world without him. But I have to fight to stay here because my pets are counting on me to take care of them..I have a systemic fungal infection and had a stroke two weeks ago with a blot clot in my leg and I haven't received adequate medical care. I don't even understand how I am still here. But I am.Ive decided to fight to stay alive for my pets and instead of despairing like I have been for especially the last two weeks, but also since my partner/best friend Rusty passed away on Feb 7th. And even before that, I found reasons to despair. . I'm not going to allow my grief and despair and worry to stop me from trying to get through this nightmare. I must still be here for some purpose other than crying about how unfair and tragic that my rescued pets will find themselves homeless and vulnerable once again and how cruel life is. I'm still here. Today i managed to initiate the crucial projects that I have not been able to think about because I have felt crushed under a mountain of stress, fear, worry, sadness and hopelessness. It required me to order myself to stop procrastinating, immediately after I had just rationalized why it would be best to start, right after one more cigarwtte

  • @charlottewebbnotthebook
    @charlottewebbnotthebook 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for sharing your story, it's one of those ones that really gives me some perspective in my own life.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      And thank you, Charlotte, for watching and leaving me a note!

    • @charlottewebbnotthebook
      @charlottewebbnotthebook 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SusanMcCorkindale Your talk is so in tune with what happens inside us, thank you!

  • @SUJAMUK
    @SUJAMUK 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It's exactly 10 months since my beloved husband of 44 years passed away and 2 years in December my younger sister passed away. I don't have any children. I don't enjoy anybody's company although my nephews love me and want me to spend time with them. I talk if anybody calls me but just want to be left alone. I spend most of my time watching anything to do with grief on you tube and videos about how to overcome loss of your loved ones. Removing his name from bank accounts and the house as we had everything in joint names is very painful. Now I have to do all the jobs he used to do. It's hard.

    • @Prettymapleleaf
      @Prettymapleleaf 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are so loved. I am so sorry for your tremendous losses. I lost my partner Glenn a month ago and I am completely shattered. Like you, I’ve been absorbing all I can regarding grief and an afterlife. Sending you so much strength and a big hug.

    • @SUJAMUK
      @SUJAMUK 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Prettymapleleaf thank you. Nice to know that there is someone who understands. Sorry for your loss..

    • @Prettymapleleaf
      @Prettymapleleaf 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SUJAMUK it’s okay to feel all that you are feeling. Flow with your grief and you move on WITH them. ❤️

    • @SUJAMUK
      @SUJAMUK ปีที่แล้ว

      @ChrisJohnson-lh9qb I am living in india now. Came back to India for good after spending most of our lives in England. Nothing went according to plan. Here I am all by myself.

  • @thereisnosanctuary6184
    @thereisnosanctuary6184 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I need a hug.

  • @gregnewton829
    @gregnewton829 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Working on this grief thing I’ve lost a lot of relatives and I’ve lost friends but my wife passed away. It had taken us 60 years to find each other after marriages defined each other and I made the decision to be with her forever even though she warned me she had congestive heart failure so what!!!! 68 I never expected to be struggling as hard as I am I missing someone so much but you’re right!! I need to use her loss to me and do something. Unfortunately it makes it even more difficult it’s her mother and stepfather are still alive in their late 80s stepfather and her mother is Mid90s the worst thing about losing is when no one and I mean zero from that side of the family does anything or acknowledges anything there is no help there was no help there was no one to talk to I’m into this going on two years I’ve got a find a route make myself Feel human again. I can feel her presence each time I walk to the house walk down the sidewalk in the back to the garage I never dreamed my life with and be in this state at my age what are you do?????

  • @larryulery3729
    @larryulery3729 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks Susan you have given me a Way to channel my grief
    I love to cook so that is the way to channel my grief getting through the holidays is the first hurdle Christmas was are holiday

  • @jodykearney4023
    @jodykearney4023 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for sharing your story. This helped me a lot I now know how to handle my grief and I am looking forward to my new journey.

  • @riddermartijn
    @riddermartijn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am a twin, I lost my brother when we were 11 in accident. My mother was never the same.I wish she had heard this...

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Losing a sibling is devastating and losing a child is the ultimate tragedy. I’m so very sorry for your family’s loss.

    • @riddermartijn
      @riddermartijn 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SusanMcCorkindale Thank you very much, truth is I hurt, I always ignore twin theory but I do feel something is missing with me too.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@riddermartijn the twin theory is real. I know several sets of twins and their bond runs deep. Be kind to yourself.

    • @markheichorn
      @markheichorn 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      i'm so sorry to hear that

  • @intentionalevolution3653
    @intentionalevolution3653 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you

  • @albanavarro430
    @albanavarro430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My husband just die December 14 2020 in his job we was together since 1980 till 2020 I missing him a lot

  • @iam_trinikimmy
    @iam_trinikimmy 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I cried. I loved it! Those sleepless nights, yeah I know hot it feels. And I also hated when everyone was telling me that I would get over it & that I would move on & that I should do so as soon as possible.

    • @inaacielo6078
      @inaacielo6078 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      😥😣🙁 grief will always be there

  • @dragonfly3517
    @dragonfly3517 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thankyou😌😌😌

  • @knightgern
    @knightgern 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I list my mother last month. She was the best mom any kids can have. I was always come first. She sacrifice everything for me, but I couldn't save her life from her Alzheimer's disease. What kind person I am ?

  • @44TJG
    @44TJG ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It’s almost 2 years since my husband died suddenly. I try to watch this but am in a deep dark place but just can’t. I shut everyone out because no one understands.

    • @SusanMcCorkindale
      @SusanMcCorkindale 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      No one can ever understand exactly what you're going through. All you can do is take your time and take care of yourself.