Can Depression Cause Manic Spending? | Spendaholics | Only Human
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.พ. 2020
- Meet 36-year-old Kate, a shopping addict, who’s spending has gone through the roof. In just 2 years, she’s clocked up credit card debts of £27,000, almost double her £14,000 salary. Kate’s on the fast-track to bankruptcy, she’s not even enjoying the ride. But, Kate just can’t stop spending. She needs professional help.
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#OnlyHuman #Spendaholics #ShoppingAddict
Wish they’d film a new series as would be interesting to see the impact of social media and more prevalent online shopping direct from your phone.
agree i know someone who filled their house wirh umopemed boxes
Interesting, they seem to enjoy being in the shop environment, getting the goods then and there. I wonder if online shopping itches that urge for them.
Agreed
Moomin Mai Agree. It’s so easy to shop online and being on lockdown because of COVID 19 makes it more tempting.
Online shopping, plastic surgery, makeup, a wardrobe full of whatever was the fad of the month.
I hope she's okay now, she genuinely seems absolutely lovely but struggles with loneliness shopping to fill a void, I've been there myself and it isn't nice.
Sam Spencer I think we have all fallen down that rabbit hole before. It’s a dark place!
I hope things are better for you Sam 🌟
@@drmimzz309 Getting better! Much appreciated :) have an awesome day!
My escape is sleeping. I'm done with shopping.
Find books, walk go to gatherings.People need good people.
I shopped to fill the void left when my husband got sick and then later died. I also put on 50Lbs, or 3 stone. Didn't help. So I closed out my E Bay account and my paypal account and am saving every month. Feel much better.
I'm so sorry for your loss1 best wishes to you
Wishing u well for your future.
Sorry to hear of your loss. Well done kicking the habit. Thank you for sharing.👍
💙
Hope you're doing well! 💜🙏
It s very hard to stop spending without real goals or motivation and new hobbies, you have to create a new life, it s not easy...
This is very keen and very true!!!
I was raised by a shopaholic mom. I did the same thing as she did in my early years. Now that I am in my 40's and broke I have come to realize there is way more healthy ways to get a healthy rush than spending money on material possessions.
How do you do that? I'm not a shopaholic but I'm an emotional spender looking for something fun to do
Indeed
i enjoy gardening and growing flowers.i go to posh hotels just to read a book and have coffee,. i do fun board games, i run a craft group with friends @@michaelasmartauthor7581
0:25 - Whats even more disturbing is that an office manager is only netting £14,000 per year.
Hopefully her wage will have increased with inflation since this was filmed, but yes, ridiculously low!
Exactly...my next school which takes 9 months is €18.000... €14.000 is not nearly enough to go around
🤣🤣🤣🤣
14,000 per year is average in eastern europe, i live through hell ngl.
Yeah I work at primark at the lowest rank and I get paid the same
i always online shop and binge on food when im extra depressed
I’m sorry to hear, at least you’ve acknowledged the issue.
Who doesn't?
@@silla.1902 people with healthy coping mechanisms
demolitiontyler felt that
Me too. It's not good
I am really glad this show looked at all of her problem areas-food, eating out, shopping, weight, family, relationships. In many situations a problem is made up of a lot of different issues and the solution is also multi-faceted.
Nonsense. They're all caused by the same thing. Total lack of self-discipline.
Geraldine C I agree with both of you. Although it may all be boiled down to “Aurelius Matcus’” strict, male logic, it’s also necessary to understand the whole picture.
You cannot solve a problem without recognising its nature.
Wanting a child and not being able to have one. can b extremely devastating. I believe she was filling that void w/shopping. The good news is that it’s not too late to start over, get on track and go for what she really wants out of her life. I really think she’s going to b successful.
Absolutely, I had my bay when I was 36 and I would’ve lost my mind if I didn’t have her.
Adopt don't shop.
If you want a child that badly it's far easier for woman to find a man
Just pick anybody and get it going in the bedroom every say till you have 1
Kate~
I’m in the same position. I’ve suffered with mental illness for most of my life and have always been a shopaholic. Money and budget didn’t exist in my life. I’ve now given my finances over to my son and I have an allowance. I’m starting on a new path of living life in the present and not drowning myself in packages I’ve ordered and often never opened. I’m reselling a ton of just stuff. I wish you all the best in your new life and enjoy it!
Much love ❤️ from across the pond.
I used to work with her husband. He’s a lovely man and I’m sure he would have been supportive had she asked for help. I can really identify with mental illness triggering overspending; I was the same for years. I got professional help and ditched the credit cards. Strangely enough my father’s death toughened my resolve to be better with money.
I really respect Kate for taking everything on board, especially when the budget was so strict. I was worried the strict budget (for 10 years) didn't allow Kate to do things (other than shopping) so I was very pleased that her friends supported her new goal by enjoying eating in and I was also pleased that Kate took salsa lessons. We need to enjoy ourselves and grow.
Good response!
She’s a lovely women I wish her all the best x
I did this after my dad died 2 years ago. I blew thousands on items I didn’t need- designer handbags/ holidays etc. At the time, I wasn’t thinking why I was doing it. It’s only looking back I know I was trying to fill the void. Luckily no credit card, but I’ll never get that money back. I totally get her when she says “It’s as if because I can’t have what I really want, I have other things instead.”
I did the same after my mom died 😢 ,for a full year I was out of control
"We are all trying to buy what is impossible to sell."
Yep.. bad investments..
@@windwhipped5 because you can’t buy happiness
My monster high hoarding actually worked out pretty good for investment lolol. Mad profit off selling them
...and impossible to find ...😢
What a lovely lady, I wonder how she is now. She made me laugh and cry, she has such a beautiful soul.
I suggest walking at least an hour or two a day, outside, not at the mall. Once I got home n reasonable shape, I came to love it. I lost 40 lbs. way and it really helped combat the depression and boredom that led to my excessive shopping.
I'm bipolar and refuse to have a credit card. I love to shop but can only spend what u have. So I had to learn to pay bills first then if there's anything left I can buy something.
Do you feel you need to buy stuff if you have money left over?
@@richardsanchez9190 She said she can after. Didn't say she will spend whatever is left. only that she could.
No kidding
@@aierune8201 I know. But I wanna know if theres that need to buy something. Some people can save but when they see that money there, it burns a hole in their pocket.
I get disability I don't even buy expensive shit
She seems lonely to me. Like the things she buys is to fill a void and the food she eats is anything that's easy because "nothing matters right now". It seems as if so many areas of her life are affected by how unhappy she is. Most of the video is fake smiles and purchasing items to fit her fantasy life.
Kay C. She’s depressed. That means that yes, she is unhappy to say the least, and by definition it effects every aspect of her life.
Unknown neon Galaxy girl That’s pretty unfair. Would you say that if she had a physical malady? Actually, she is ill physically- she has a brain illness.
You don't get it, obviously, Kay C.
"Nothing matters right now" struck a chord.
I do have same that depression. I eat a lot more and playing games so much that led me to don't do my thesis. But, now I know i should change to a better man and pack up fast by doing jog every morning... This is serious mental illness. Depression is almost undetected but, if you know it happens, realize it soon, then you should do the cure. Going out, exercise very much, and making friends helps to cure. Don't underestimate yourself to find a boyfriend or girlfriend to give you more attention, it is confidence. Confidence boost your time to cure depression.
I hope Kate found happiness. She has a good soul. Depression is an awful illness.
He's not a psychiatrist or even a psychologist but a 'psychological coach' and it shows.
Depression doesn't always have a cause, at least not in the way he's looking for. It's an illness. It has hereditary traits and sometimes, there's just a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes it-
What's more, *if* she is really clinically depressed, it's hugely irresponsible to play at being a psychologist like this. She needs therapy and possibly medication.
I've watched a number of episodes now and it really says more about this guy Benjamin than the people he's 'treating'. It's always 'resenentment towards the parents' or a way to punish them... following his logic, I'm pretty sure there's something in his family history that explains this, rather than in his client's.
Yes, you are so right. It's armchair psychology at best. I've never liked him.
Medication is the last place you go, the last thing you look to. It has to be the choice of the patient as much as the doctor treating her. It is not up to us to judge her beginning, because this is her beginning.
Hear hear… I find myself getting more and more anoyed by his approach… He acts like he is THE expert about somebody elses life and as if they have absolutely no knowledge themselves. He projects a couple of things on them and presents them as being THE truth… That’s not being helpfull that’s vain..
But I thought his conclusion was that it was hereditary because her grandad and mum suffered depression? Also depression medication can do more harm than good, take it from me!
He is awful
I’d love to know how Kate got on. She seemed like a lovely person.
What a lovely lady. I hope she’s doing really well.
Its episodes like this that remind you how important the therapy is - so many shows are just like well give you a budget to help without understanding the source of the issue
I really love seeing how she was willing to try all of their suggestions without question. Great positive attitude 👍
As a past over spender I can so relate. 🎉❤😊 So happy she has had success. She seems like onw special, delightful peeson to spend time with. Congratulations Beautiful! 💐💐💐
I know these programmes are a few years old and so it would be lovely to know how Kate is getting on. Depression sucks, and I do hope she managed to overcome it, and getting clinical help if needed too :-)
People seem to say a lot about this ladies age. You know what, she may seem "older" to some but you have to remember that fashions have changed since this was shot years ago. Also she doesn't actually look old at all, she is clearly not 46.
She has a young face. I don't think she looks older at all.
Unfortunately I think that being overweight often makes women look older.
Kate's humble acceptance of her issues brings me to tears, I pray all is well with her these days and that someday she will have her hearts desire a loving family of her own😌
I’d Love to see an update on Kate...what a sweet ❤️. Hope she’s living happily debt free now and met a nice man who wanted to start a family with her.
I had to handle my own depression in devious ways. I couldn't afford to buy all the books that I wanted to when I lost my good commissioned retail job. Books were my cocaine. And I loved going to the shops. But here was the key: I could window shop all that I wanted. I could go into all the stores I wanted. I could look at all the clothes and jewellery I wanted. It was fun!! Just to go looking. Getting out, walking about, just seeing everything. I had to stop buying. So I got a library card, and went every week to load up on library books. I could have all the library books I wanted. I could LOOK at all the nice things as much as I wanted.
Since I was on employment insurance, welfare and now disability, I had to learn to NOT WANT anything. I could buy some carefully chosen groceries. I had to pay rent, bills, transit. There was maybe $20.00 a week for everything else. And my health had tanked, I was fighting some nasty health issues. So I couldn't go back to work, i couldn't do all the walking I wanted, I ended up living in very dangerous situations.
I managed, through crazy serendipity, to meet someone safe who I could rent an apartment with. It took me a couple of years of searching and trying, but I managed to get some counseling for the depression and anxiety, and I eventually got on disability. There's still no money at the end of the month, but the rent and bills are paid, and there's someone to share the grocery bill with. I have some relatives who don't understand, they have tried to ask me what my favorite stores are, what movies I go out to. They can't grasp that the only store I shop at is Walmart ( occasionally) and that I DON'T go out to movies. I don't have a TV either, because we have wifi, and cable where I live is monstrously expensive. We have Netflix.
My relatives are great, I get some nice gift checks that are much appreciated and put to use and are very quickly gone. That's how I'm able to afford the special shoes I need to wear, and how I manage t get a new laptop every few years. I burn through them from constant use.
Folks, dealing with depression, anxiety and chronic illness with no money is a very tenuous lifestyle.
Sandra Nelson thank you for sharing that
You're a strong woman Sandra, thanks for sharing xx
I am on my shopping ban for the whole year of 2020
I hope i pull this off
You can do it! I did it last year!
Yes i will
@@Gryffindame Thanks sweety it means a lot to me
I've never banned myself and never got debted
@@nesrinoz3926 Sweety then you are a lucky girl
Definitely true. It's kind of contradictory. I love to shop but I hate to spend my money.
I love this lady, she has such a positive approach. But she hadn't done a food shop ever and shes 36?!
Carol Spencer my thoughts exactly
Lucky she had a man that accepted her, even though she couldn't cook.
@Luke E exactly. I loved Home Economics. And having parents that valued housekeeping duties and cooking. There are tons of TH-cam tutorials on how to cook the most basic things. No excuse. Just laziness.
@Luke E compulsory just for girls?!
@@saharagold Accepted? We're not possessions!
From my experience, yes it does. You buy something to make you feel better or to make someone else happy in the hopes of cheering yourself up. But it’s only transient. Then you feel bad because you spent money you didn’t have and the cycle repeats.
Loneliness makes one crazy.
Very true. Yet some people in my life drive me crazy too...so then being left alone sounds ideal. Hard to win, really.
Try to help others if you are lonely
This is asinine. She's depressed because she got married and wanted kids only to have married a man who didn't want to have children for her. She very specifically said that the idea of not being a mother is devastating. And it's never said that she's bipolar. Manic spending isn't the same as being diagnosed with a disorder that has mania as a symptom. You can be depressed without mania and spending excessively doesn't mean you're manic.
A shopping addiction is considered a "manic behavior" in some instances but doesn't require a diagnosis of either mania or hypomania. It's just used as a descriptive in some cases because, for someone like her, it provides an adrenaline rush and a thrill.
I don't think this is asinine. She thought she was depressed because of the whole wanting to be a mother thing, but then it came to light that depression runs in her family and its likely hereditary. She feels better now because she knows the origin of her depression, so it had very little to do with not having kids with her ex.
@@bcoolfool1014 you can try to blame a lot of things on depression, but there are clearly issues in her family when she won't even go visit her own parents and when she does, they try to blame a relative's death when she was mere months old as a contributing factor. There's a lot of denial going on with her and her family both about dysfunction, not depression.
If she knew she wanted children that badly, she would never have married a man who didn't want them if she wasn't already depressed.
I live with type 2 bipolar disorder, I don’t experience true mania but do have periods of hypomania. I do have problems with overspending and I do when I’m hypomanic but I also do when I’m not and there’s a whole lot of reasons behind it.
Yes, I believe excessive shopping is just trying to fill an emotional void. With help...Hope she will be able to defeat this.
Filling the emptiness with things. Numbing the pain with addiction.
‘When I was a child.....’ Benjamin perks up.
Anna G ffs 😂😂😂😂
Can’t stand him seriously
I started watching law of attraction videos on YT, worked on my depression and self esteem and the urge to shop actually went away. I was never able to stop before. My savings is actually growing pretty fast now. It’s a much better feeling than the feeling I got from spending on things I don’t need. I feel empowered now instead of being in constant denial and self medicating via shopping.
Good for you congrats 😊 I’n working on the same things
Thank you for sharing.
Meditation and deep breathing helped me.
I would love to see how she is doing now- she seemed liked she was really taking it seriously and I bet she succeeded- it has probably been 10 years now!! hope it all worked out
Why is clothes and shoes cut to £30, but going out is £0?! So she can buy unnecessary clothes but never go out! Bonkers.
And ppl who think she looks older: no she doesn't: she has lovely skin, she's just overweight, terrible 2005 hair and mumsy office clothing.
I totally agree.....I would have cut her clothing/makeup to $0 and let her have a bit of money to go out,perhaps join a club or group for company or to develop a new interest or hobby. It would be much better for her well being. What about selling her new clothes, shoes and things online...especially the items with tags on. She could realize actual cash to help pay down her debt. She could also join a slimming club to make new friends and lose a bit of weight....both things would make her feel better. I am doubting Benjamin’s credentials because it has been stated that he counsels others because it was beneficial to him....is that his only professional qualification? It is nice that she can speak to someone but perhaps she needs actual professional help. Not everything is rooted in your childhood. Jay would do better to find her someone that can teach her how to choose better clothes and styles for herself...she would be more attractive if she played to her strengths. She is lovely and quite willing to have help so I do hope she got sorted out eventually.
Well it was probably 2005 it was filmed so she was on style at that time.
She does have a lovely youthful face...so raspberries to whoever said she looks older! Its the mumsy office clothing and desperate need for a hair shaping.
00s hair was awful!
it does not matter if she is on trend every year, i don't do fashion but i buy practical clothes and i have paid off my mortgage early@@MTCoblivsicas12345
I love this lady's spirit!
Hello Kate. I'm Terri, I live in Texas. I believe You are an AMAZING and STRONG lady. You have so much to offer the world, and other people. I look forward to seeing your progress, because I KNOW you can do it. You have so many of us out here in the world, your New Friends, who are rooting for You and praying for You. Belly Dancing is great fun and it will whip You into shape... I know this because this was one of the ways I went when I was going through a very bad time. Keep dancing your heart out... like that saying goes, "Dance like no one is watching".
CHEERS KATE!! 🤗👍💕
I really feel for this lovely lady . I wish I could have been there to give her a hug and moral support. I really do hope that she is ok now.
I blame my barbies. I grew up with pretty shoes handbags wigs clothes furniture cars etc etc, fabulous careers in multiples all neat and tidy in my 3 story Barbie house lol
Me too. Do you remember those damn little high heels with the open toes?
She’s say it’s going to be a miserable existence....it’s actually the opposite without masking her issues with over eating and over spending....she can focus on what caused it by spending time doing free or low cost things - exercising, spending time in nature, cooking, gardening ....etc
For me when I was depressed I didn’t wanna buy anything. It didn’t interest me at all. It’s when I’m happy that I wanna buy stuff
She named her list "list", and that bothered me for a while
What do you call you lists
Hahah I commented the same thing !!
@@pastaaaaaaaaoo3796 I don't think it needs a title...it is what it is :'D
When he made mention of her possibly feeling doomed that really hit me in the feels. I have felt that way my entire life and had no one to talk with about it. My mother who I have always lived with has an extremely cynical, sarcastic view of life and often makes disparaging remarks to me about my weight. I used to remain silent because I believed that's what children did but I'm a grown woman (and have been for decades) so I've finally started clapping back at her. The first time it actually shocked her I think but it felt good for me to defend myself from her nitpicking and nagging. My way to fill the void of my life is overeating and buying jewelry and fragrances that I don't need. I have so many rings that I don't wear and fragrances I don't use it's pitiful really. I can't let go of them though, not the jewelry at least because they are actually valuable. The fragrances I do eventually get rid of because they start to change scent after a while but it's the bargain hunting for those items that I love the most rather than the items themselves once I get them.
I am surprised they don't suggest selling all the stuff she has bought and knock a hole in the debt to cut off some of the 10 years. I hope things worked out for you Kate!!
Morry From experience (not my own, thankfully) making ‘extra’ money and downsizing your inventory can make it harder for people to stop their shopping habit because they’ve suddenly got more money than their budget ‘thinks’ they have and more reasons to ‘replace’ what they’ve sold. So she sells 5 items, has £120 to put towards her debt, but then she thinks ‘well, this is money I wouldn’t even have had normally so I can spend it on buying a better version of the black top I just sold’. Similar to people working out to lose weight, but then eating a pizza ‘because they burned more then they normally would’ve so they’ve earned it’.
@@IAmContemporary From experience (my own, unfortunately) I found it very helpful and it hit home how much my spending had actually wasted my money, since I made far less selling it than I spent originally. I ended up debt-free faster, clutter-free home (resulting in a less cluttered mind) and now I can save for things I really want, like life experiences and a house. Regardless of how you do it, you have to work on the issues that cause you to shop, and if you do that. selling the stuff off can be therapeutic and empowering. Funnily enough, I now have a successful online store selling jewellery because of it!! :)
I thought the same thing. Especially with all the brand new items she had.
How do people with such low income get so much credit extended to them? This is just a form of predatory lending! I had a friend whose mother took out a refinance loan against her home for $250,000, but her income was only $1,200/month US! She lost the house, and the Mercedes and the expensive new furnishings she bought with the loan proceeds, along with all her other belongings, and ended up living on the street. The lender knew she couldn’t afford the loan payments, she couldn’t even afford to live on such a low income in a paid-off home (San Francisco Bay Area, one of the most expensive places to live). Lenders should have to take responsibility for such predatory credit and lending, the bankruptcies of these borrowers cost us all money!
Maybe the "having children" discussion should have happened before they married. Especially as it was so important to her, but she knew he already had kids. Just saying.
Aww that's so sad. He could of said he wanted children then change his mind. It happened to me. He knew all along I wanted kids, he had one. He said he wanted more. Then two years later the kid says " I don't want you to have a baby, dad" and he said "ok. I won't" ...so I don't get to be mummy. You lieing bastard
I agree, wanting children or not wanting children needs to be discussed with both Partners before marriage. It's essential, why would you marry someone if you don't know something so crucial in the first place?
I guess if she wasn't aware of how depressed she was maybe she just took it for granted.. its easy to judge from the outside ..
@@beth1776 That's true.
@@sabias3932 I agree. But it does mean that a discussion before the wedding would have been in order. Also, I accept that there are people who don't want kids at all, as my daughter is one. This discussion should have been had regardless, though I still feel that him already having kids would be a red flag that would initiate a conversation if it were me.
Bravo Kate! This is the first time I see somebody who seems to have taken time to see if she might have depresssion although they don’t show if she sought any help for it. Also she actually went about seeking additional income and returned stuff. I really hope she is doing well and hopefully a mother 💜
Two years ago, I went in to a horrible depression and I spend some much money that I feel ashamed.
Don't feel ashamed Luz, we do what we need to do to get through the moment. Hope you're doing well now xx
Yes, I found its dangerous to go shopping when you feel down. It's a way to feel good for a short while. My wardrobe was full of clothes still with tags on. Trust the depression and the shopping should stop
If I want to order something when I feel down, I put it in my cart and look at it again when I feel better. Nine out of ten times I don't want the item anymore
@@thaliacrafts407 yeah it’s like going food shopping when you are hungry. Clouds your judgement
I do have same that depression. I eat a lot more and playing games so much that led me to don't do my thesis. But, now I know i should change to a better man and pack up fast by doing jog every morning... This is serious mental illness. Depression is almost undetected but, if you know it happens, realize it soon, then you should do the cure. Going out, exercise very much, and making friends helps to cure. Don't underestimate yourself to find a boyfriend or girlfriend to give you more attention, it is confidence. Confidence boost your time to cure depression.
Thank you for sharing. Hope you are doing ok.
The worst thing about this video?
The horrible bright pink background when she video journals.
Charlotte Grace agreed
🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😟💯💯
it's very 2006
SAVE SAVE SAVE SAVE
That 250 pound a month for take out is actually pretty cheap for back then. That’s like ordering door dash 6 times in a month.
I saw myself a lot in this program and I answered the five questions. Very helpful in figuring the motivation to spend!
I have Bipolar Disorder, and I don't have a credit card because I can be very impulsive, especially when it comes to buying things. For this reason, I only use a debit card and cash, as my credit union doesn't allow me to spend more than a certain amount per day, while cash helps me see/feel how much money I am spending. For example, it makes me think, "If I buy these cookies, I won't have enough money for yogurt, and I need yogurt more than I need cookies. I better put them back and buy the yogurt instead. I can buy cookies next time if I have extra money after I get what need."
cellogirl11RW Are you ever worried that if you come out of baseline and have a manic episode, that you might get a credit card and start spending?
@@Harlow... I have bipolar disorder as well it's hard to not have a credit card but I rather buy stuff with cash from my job I'm only 17 but as a 17 year old I have episodes more often than older men and women of course everyone is different with there episodes I'm not worried about getting a credit card with an episode because I have support when I have one it depends on your support systems I'm definitely not worried
I have Bipolar 2 and boarder line personality disorder and I get urges to spend. I am horrible about ordering online and buying in store. I often don’t tell my husband. I feel real guilty once I come down from everything.
I have BPD too and I am in debt when I feel empty inside I spend money to fill the void.
I really get the sense that this depression is from not feeling loved and cherished by her husband. Someone who also is denying even the joy of motherhood. So, a lonely life of no love by husband and no children. I felt extremely unloved for 22 years and couldn't figure it out until I was out of that relationship.
She seems a lovely person hope she is doing well, wish her all the best
I love these shows its such good motivation not to spend
What a lovely woman, I hope she is doing well
She is depressed and I understand 😥 been there... Only work saved me. Goals and different approach in life about life itself. I hope she will recover.
Thank you so much for this episode, I can really relate to Kate, especially being practically the same age. I wish her the best of luck
The book "30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic" by Harper Daniels is good. It uses a mindfulness and meditation approach to get to the root. It's fun too. It's easy to overspend without the right perspective of self.
I must be weird, I hate shopping. It's as fast as I can get in, grab what I need and out again! What a lovely lady, I hope she managed to sort things out.
SAME- but, both Instacart and Amazon are way too beguiling
I'd like to se follow ups on them after 1 year. That would be a great show
Thank you Kate! Your story is really inspiring and helping me to understand my own impetus to shop. I hope you have your debt paid off sooner than you expect
I will say this.... I grew up in a large family so grew up poor. As I aged and made money and my kids moved out I found I could have what I didn't before.
Like what? What did you want?
I'd like to go out to eat and travel with my husband
@@janebaker4912 Focus on your partner, career, make sacrifices and save. Sometimes life isn't great when you're focusing on getting to the end goal and it won't be easy.
@@janebaker4912 I was bullied growing up for having to wear my older brothers hand me down clothes. Couldn't afford hair cuts so mum cut all 5 of our hair the same....a boy cut. Girls always looked so pretty and feminine in school. I wanted those things....nice long hair, pretty nails, clothes, bags, shoes.
@@mrsp7481 oh cool. That's nice. I wore my brothers hand me downs too. I remember basketball training and all the girls dressed in fancy sports wear and in ratty old stuff- and beat the pants off of them on the court.
I try to never want things, but lately I've been look at swaskof earrings 😬
@@janebaker4912 oh nice! Those are gorgeous earrings
I feel so connected with this lovely woman....❤ feels nice knowing you're not really alone in this world. Hopefully she doing well now. I am also working on my over spend after watching this episode.
Shopping is the new cocaine☹️ I know people with £70,000 just on credit cards! All trying to keep up with an image!?
Yes it does! When I'm stressed and depressed I definitely overspend on stuff I don't need. Just look at my darn closet 😐😅.
*opens ur closet and gets buried*
To find the answers..you have to ask the questions...I loved the questions Ben asked to help Kate find her way..I think these can apply to anyone suffering from depression and addictions. Also..I absolutely love Jay's fashion an make up advice!!
I used to buy a lot, I would shop when I was feeling emotional, mostly clothing..almost exclusively clothing tbh. In 2019 I had a no buying clothing rule, I wasnt allowed to buy anything other than under things if I needed them (I got secondhand thermals because we moved house and it ended up being very cold) but I succeeded and It totally changed my mindset and had meant that I've been able to save for my first massive overseas trip. All that money I wasnt spending in clothing is going towards the trip of a lifetime and it's really taught me how to save. After my trip my plan is to keep up what I've learnt and buy a house. It was really hard at first but I actually ended up discovering things I my wardrobe I had forgotten about and even ended up donating things that I didnt wear!! It was wonderful and im so proud :)
@D. F. no shit, that's why I did my challenge.
That's amazing Mel, well done! Money spent on experiences is well spent, imo
I love her, she’s so open minded.i wish her much success.
Absolutely. I get an idea in my brain and just can’t let it go. I’ve been clawing my way out for years.
Kate Keep up the good work, you are still young. You are strong enough to make your life a better one. Happiness will find you❤️❤️❤️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Yes when I feeling downs I go shopping I don’t why
Funny english
@@VladmirPoopN yes,this act injecting dopamine in your brain that makes u feel happier
I feel down for one of two reasons: I either can't afford anything, or I feel guilty about spending money on frivolous things.
@@cellogirl11rw55 ooof,its actually good what i dont like almost everything i cant afford
Dopamine hits the reward center of the brain
I cut strips of cardex to represent my yearly income and then wrote my bills on them so I could see where it was allocated and what was left over. I've kept it up blutac-ed to a column in my home so I can see it clearly from kitchen - the HQ of most homes. It is really helping because July 2022 is getting very expensive as everything is going up except my income.
I really admire this womans determination
Very emotional and educational. Very good
Wow what the psychologist said about self sabotage and something inside you that believes you are doomed is so insightful
she seems so sweet and fun ... I really hope she makes it !
Soon she'll be on "extreme cheapskates * 😂
Hilaaarious comment 🤣
13th like just saying before this gets alot of likes :D
At least she isn’t a hoarder
Or a rock eater
Or weighting 600lbs
Hoarders are the worst. Gross.
Similar issues tbh
@@saharagold I have hoarder tendencies and have a strong emotional attachment to my things. I find it really difficult to let go of my things. I am very clean and don't live in a house full of rubbish and animal poo.
Hoarders aren't just what u c on TH-cam. These shows tend to show extreme cases where people have lived this way for years and years and have given up. Most people with hoarding tendencies don't live like that. It is a mental illness that is definitely not fun to live with.
If you have ever felt depressed, look around, take a voluntary work, helping people is a good therapy. When I was a teenager, my mom was quite a successful bissness woman, and instead of spoiling me she took me to the Foster home with small children, so I had responsibility to take care of that small cuties, after school. Since then I have known, that the world 🌎 , is not always about me.
Your mom sounds like a very smart caring woman. You're lucky to call her mom. 💜🙏
As a person who battles depression since 2005 after a trauma of violence and broken family... life is still hard for me... no family, no friends... sometimes I buy myself some jewelry, before I actually purchase it I imagine myself dressed up & happy. It's very wrong but very sad and I don't resist to buy it... I'm completely concerned that material stuff won't feed my hungry, damaged soul.
Everything will change for the better; you are a strong yet sensitive person.
💞🌸
@@opalfishsparklequasar8663 thanks for saying that, I wish you all the best 🤗
@Bonnie Holman thanks for writing all this. Living is exhausting and painful... I don't even know where or in what to find peace and fulfillment? I don't... every battle I have in finding it, it only makes me weaker in the end, so I quit looking for it, but as a return I got loneliness which is probably equally painful as constantly trying to find love, peace, and purpose. So I'm stuck... sometimes I relate with the lady on the video... it's painful... however, to not write here an essay, I wish you a well lived life with good health and happiness in whatever you find it.
Be well.
these programs have been therapy for me
£250 for 22 meals out? I know this was filmed like a decade ago, but still very affordable...
superflatjelliephish £11 per meal is not that affordable for most people
Maybe for a one-percenter, but not for a middle-class citizen like her.
@@cellogirl11rw55 Sure. I'm questioning where you can get a decent delivery or "meal out" for just over a tenner in the UK, but what do I know, because according to your presumption I'm slaving a maid and ***ing a wall in my giant manor full of servants in the countryside. Rather than acknowledging that a decent restaurant/night out would cost at least 3 times that which at a "99%er" budget can only be indulged in for 2 evenings a month. Which... If its the maths you're struggling with, amounts to 8 and a bit £30 quid meals per months, Fyi.
Relax guys. It was filmed in 2005. Back than life was cheaper
Well she is one person, so everything should be cheap. Our family of four orders pizza takeout once and it’s $50
I would love an update on this Girl, I honestly dont believe that she could change but I hope she did.
Excellent team of therapists.
it seems a bit off to me showing her an expensive fancy place to buy/live as a goal to work towards.
tee m I didn’t think so. Renting is also throwing your money away so they’re trying to strengthen her motivation by getting her to visualise having her own place rather than paying someone else’s mortgage off. It’s better she think of that lovely home every time she’s tempted to waste money on junk food or crap she’ll never wear.
tee m I agree , put money aside to save for it or better yet go to the off shops. The clothes and shoes are previously owned so u save money.
Couldn’t she buy a whole mango instead of pre cut. Prepackaged always cost more because u pay for the container and the fruit.
Moomin Mai I like the bins with clothes inside that labeled how much the clothes cost. Also she learned how much she spent on take away. Defiantly a wake up call. Now with the budget she can start reducing the credit card debt.
I think I've got depression. Don't know what to do. I'm equiped with the knowledge where to look for help, but just dont know what to do. I don't even know how to explained it. I'm nowhere. I'm really ashamed and disgusted with myself. I'm overwhelmed with everything. The smallest things are too big of a task for me. I'm so numb. I just dont know what to do with myself.
I'm confused when she said she normally paid someone to iron her clothes when in fact she should have been ironing not only her own clothes but someone else's too to make an extra income to pay down her debts. So glad she got the help she needed. Never too late to change. To be completely honest I'm not always good with budgeting either. Maybe not as bad as she is but there's room for improvement.
Managers
You’re right. Something I wondered about this show is that I haven’t observed them ever suggesting to the person with the problem to make extra income. Maybe it’s not politically correct?
@@marynorton6068 I've seen them suggest it a few times.
I think that Kate is one of the most self-reflective, honest people I’ve seen on this show.
She seems like a nice person with a good heart. I think that they are really analyzing the shit out of why she spends too much. She got used to the good life and now that it's been that way for so long, it's tough to go back