It’s always VERYYY rare and strangely exciting(?) to find someone who shares my same story lol Especially when it’s a random youtuber that I’ve passively enjoyed for so long now. Small world. At the beginning of Covid I quit my desk job and started doing decedent bagging and transport. Not only did my company have contracts with multiple funeral homes across the state, but we also had the medical examiner contract. ANY body that needed a state autopsy was picked up by us. I’d go to crime scenes, car accidents, homes, hospitals, funeral homes, etc. I don’t trust anyone that works in the industry and DOESN’T end up walking away fundamentally changed. I’m proud of you for turning your experience and trauma into a tangible piece of art. I can’t wait to read it! It took me a long time but I too figured out how and where to reroute the emotions that surfaced from working so intimately with death. I finally got there eventually! So cheers to that and good luck ❤️
@@smileyriley1001 Wow! This is so crazy. We had those contracts too and those scenes were always the most intense. Our company was also one that served many funeral homes and not the public so we were very busy. How crazy that we both did this right at the start of 2020? Nuts. I share your skepticism of peers who claimed it had no effect on them. I’ve even heard someone say none of the work is traumatizing. Maybe I’m wrong but I think it’s impossible for it not to be, at least on some level. Anyways I am also blown away that we share such a similar story. And that warms my heart, makes me glad that I shared it because maybe you were meant to find it and feel a sense of camaraderie. I certainly do. 🖤
I have the funny feeling, that if my job now as a school teacher for physics doesnt work out, this should be the next job for me also. On new years eve I stood at the graveyard and didn't have the guts to do so longer than 5 min. But eventually I would like to sleep one night next to the dead, because I only fear the weird dreams, nothing more. And I had times of 2 weeks of sleep deprivation where sleep dragged me into hell for just 1h per night - a vivid red demon zone - I'm happy, I passed this shit time already. Getting into Heilung and nordic culture lately too. And - of course - sidestepping but sometimes walking towards the grim theatre.
Good on you mate. You realized this in your youth. When I was your age, I still think shallowly about life, all I do was work & play. Now I'm 50, I realized I only have maybe 20-30 years rent left of this body... Let's make all the time we have left well spent! 🙏🏻💝🏆
Harlequin, I am glad our life paths have intersected, and I had the luck to be awed by your performances. Keep spreading the joy, just know most people are shy and fail to express how you made them feel inside ❤❤❤
Wild as it sounds, I was also hired on as a removal tech at the start of the pandemic, & had that job for years. That job did things to my brain that I don't think will ever fully mend. But it was also the push I needed to finally start my career as a health provider. Definitely gonna check out your book friend.
We're bonded! That work is so powerful. Sometimes I am embarrassed how much it comes up in conversation, since it's almost four years since I had that job. Yet, the memories from it continue to be some of the most profound I've ever had, and boy, I've had an eventful and memorable handful of years after the fact with show business. The work had a similar effect on me. It showed me what I really found purposeful and important in my life and pushed me to go after it. Being reminded that you'll die soon by literally staring at death in the face every day, is a powerful motivator. I've also questioned my own healing from the trauma. Not to sell you the book, but really just to connect with you ... the main character's journey is about being 'haunted' by the dead and you can imagine how that relates to trauma and where I pulled the inspiration from. I don't want to sound too confident, but if you've ever wanted to feel seen or understood by an artist through a character, Atherton is basically made for people who've experienced what we did. I think it'll resonate with you. I still haven't sorted out all my feelings related to mortality and my past with death work, but writing Atherton's story was a big part of starting that process. I would be honored if you read it and gave me your thoughts afterwards, to see how it lands.
I've been forced to recognize mortality since memory could be made within myself, had a large family which all died before adulthood. I cherish life so much daily and especially every moment i think about it with my children and find myself petrified at the realization that I'm their only lifeline, the only person capable of ensuring they don't similarly go through generational strife and toil. Thank you for being another great human being out there to know of.
I'm not sure why but I started tearing up reading this. I feel the weight of your grief and am inspired by your strength moving through it with your own family. Thank you.
I accepted my fate fairly early in life (and to be fair I still am pretty young almost at the end of my college education) and I learned that it’s best to accept the inevitable and make the most of everything. Live a life with no regrets, nothing will hurt more than living your life and then wondering what it would’ve been like if you did this instead of that for a career. Quoting a Ted Nugent song “live it up” and be not afraid. I see what the fear of death itself does to people and it isn’t nice. Granted I don’t think many want to get to the end but it is going to happen one day and the sooner you accept it the most you make of everything else. Right now I’m dealing with changing career paths since I realized that I done effed up with college and it was better to do something else than I initially planned and it would have made these last few years easier for me but it’s not too late. Another thing, don’t get stuck up on the past, look at what you improve. All that being said, you do some great work man it’s really impressive.
Just found your channel. You're an amazing well articulated person. I've always been intrigued by circus life. In my teens I enjoyed literature; 1700-1900's setting as well, mostly poetry: Arthur Rimbuad, William Blake, Fredrich Nietszhe, Charles Boudlaire, etc. Always interested in Jack the ripper and that time era, including the novel Dracula. I'd love to get your book when its out. You all do amazing work. Impressive to say the least. Much love. Shalom. Edit: Irvine Welsh is my favorite authour, thought is mention that since you're in Scotland. Pretty cool man.
Ah a kindred spirit I see! Yes, I am also obsessed with such time periods and all the dark romantic literature that sprouted from it. If you like that, you'll feel a modern kinship with The Black Carnival. Preorders for the book are available now if you want to ensure your copy. The paperbacks come with a signed bookplate as well. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me!
@harlequin-grim I most definitely will; sounds very interesting. I've been checking out your unicycling and juggling and Achillea's acrobatic skills. Amazing talent, you two make me want to run away with the circus. 🎪 🤡🏋🎪
Harley thanks for sharing this, I just signed up through the email link. I really enjoy the work you and the grim theater do. If I am having a bad day in particular when I feel like an outcast from my peers, your videos always seem to cheer me up. I can tell that there is substance in the work you guys do, it’s truly something special.
ok holy shit i NEED to read this book. cant wait for it to come out and i will definitely get on that mailing list. i havent had tangible experiences with death myself but i guess a side effect of growing up as a sort if odd child is a fascination with death XD and circus has just been such a fundamental prt of my life since i was a child that it was ought to tangle at one point. i think ive been especially drawn to your channel because of the style of performance you do, as i have a certain love for the macabre but cant really incorporate it into my own performances because i still mostly perform for children and parents. excited to see what your own troupe comes up with creatively. it was also honestly really nice to hear that you got into circus fairly late, as i meant to start actually going more into performing right after finishing school but have now been dealing with a slow healing injury for more than a year and especially with such a physical artform it can sometimes feel like your youth is the only time for it (am turning 20 soon) and i think you’re absolutely correct, i believe circus is life made art sorry for the long comment and thank you for sharing this snippet of your life!
Thank you for these beautiful thoughts. In reality, it's never too late. True, one's body may not be capable of some things physically, but there are many disciplines in circus that you can perform into old age, like juggling and unicycle, and you can always adapt the acts to be kinder to your body so you can still make a living. That said, get ahead of the game and get on it if you really want it. I'm honored that you're inspired by my story. And, if you haven't already, the book has since become available for preorder since I made this video. Here's the link if you haven't got a copy yet! thegrimtheatre.com/black-carnival
Can't wait for you to do so! The book has since become available for preorder if you'd like to secure a copy or haven't already. I'd be honored. thegrimtheatre.com/black-carnival
My best friend used to drive the Hearse for Albuquerque Ambulance. By Hearse I mean a white van that was called a hearse and his job was to pick up all kinds of dead people. We lived together at the time. I had to hear all about it daily for a long time. He ended up doing crime scene cleanup also which definitely paid way better! But still kinda gross. For a little while he did both. The decomp jobs that he talked about always were disturbing to hear about!
I never would have guessed your past work. Its respectable. You dont show it effecting you in your performances which is a good thing. Im curious about the book you mentioned as well and the website i think ill take a look at it myself.
Thank you very much. Yes, please do! The book is heavily influenced by that work. There are themes of grief, horror, hauntings, all inspired by my experiences. There's also joy, whimsy, and action. But at its heart, it's a book about what it means to be haunted, in the literal and metaphorical aspect.
wow ! wonderful. - have you considered Patreon for you book and any other writing etc or video work that you do. - hope to remember to look you up for your book. Fabulous what you are doing, more why i should say. Yes. I saw alot of death when i was very young - i didn't have alot of opportunity, but did things that were very important to my heart any time i could. It's a teacher for sure.
Oh thank you! Yes, I actually do have a Patreon already and I’d love to have you there. It’s Patreon.com/harlequingrim The book is now available for preorder as well. There’s a page for it on TheGrimTheatre.com
@@terry92104 It’s no wonder an entire generation of people came back from the World Wars and fundamentally altered society as a result of nobody knowing how to help heal them.
Im glad i clicked on this. I had a ton of questions after i came across your short videos. What is your " job title" or whatever you would call it? Yall are awesome. I dont think a lot of people realize how difficult and demanding it is to do what you do.
Thank you! Yes, it is quite a lot of work especially since we manage ourselves and are not always contracted with bigger companies. But it's so worth it.
You have a cross earring. Do you believe in the immortality of the human soul, and that in this temporal life is where we decide how we will live eternally?
It is not a cross, it is actually a dagger. 🗡️ But I can see making that mistake. But no, I don’t share those beliefs. I do believe it is important to lead a moral and ethical life and to not squander one’s time, though.
I’d love to do what this guy is doing but I have a million dollar mortgage for a house to pay and I’m not sure the circus money will get me that house?
It’s always VERYYY rare and strangely exciting(?) to find someone who shares my same story lol Especially when it’s a random youtuber that I’ve passively enjoyed for so long now. Small world.
At the beginning of Covid I quit my desk job and started doing decedent bagging and transport. Not only did my company have contracts with multiple funeral homes across the state, but we also had the medical examiner contract. ANY body that needed a state autopsy was picked up by us. I’d go to crime scenes, car accidents, homes, hospitals, funeral homes, etc. I don’t trust anyone that works in the industry and DOESN’T end up walking away fundamentally changed.
I’m proud of you for turning your experience and trauma into a tangible piece of art. I can’t wait to read it! It took me a long time but I too figured out how and where to reroute the emotions that surfaced from working so intimately with death. I finally got there eventually!
So cheers to that and good luck ❤️
@@smileyriley1001 Wow! This is so crazy. We had those contracts too and those scenes were always the most intense. Our company was also one that served many funeral homes and not the public so we were very busy.
How crazy that we both did this right at the start of 2020? Nuts.
I share your skepticism of peers who claimed it had no effect on them. I’ve even heard someone say none of the work is traumatizing.
Maybe I’m wrong but I think it’s impossible for it not to be, at least on some level.
Anyways I am also blown away that we share such a similar story. And that warms my heart, makes me glad that I shared it because maybe you were meant to find it and feel a sense of camaraderie. I certainly do. 🖤
I have the funny feeling, that if my job now as a school teacher for physics doesnt work out, this should be the next job for me also.
On new years eve I stood at the graveyard and didn't have the guts to do so longer than 5 min. But eventually I would like to sleep one night next to the dead, because I only fear the weird dreams, nothing more. And I had times of 2 weeks of sleep deprivation where sleep dragged me into hell for just 1h per night - a vivid red demon zone - I'm happy, I passed this shit time already.
Getting into Heilung and nordic culture lately too. And - of course - sidestepping but sometimes walking towards the grim theatre.
Good on you mate. You realized this in your youth. When I was your age, I still think shallowly about life, all I do was work & play. Now I'm 50, I realized I only have maybe 20-30 years rent left of this body... Let's make all the time we have left well spent! 🙏🏻💝🏆
Well said my friend. Hugs and well wishes from my world to yours.
Harlequin, I am glad our life paths have intersected, and I had the luck to be awed by your performances. Keep spreading the joy, just know most people are shy and fail to express how you made them feel inside ❤❤❤
I continue to be moved by your comments, and I cherish your enthusiasm and passion so much. Thank you!
Wild as it sounds, I was also hired on as a removal tech at the start of the pandemic, & had that job for years. That job did things to my brain that I don't think will ever fully mend. But it was also the push I needed to finally start my career as a health provider.
Definitely gonna check out your book friend.
We're bonded! That work is so powerful. Sometimes I am embarrassed how much it comes up in conversation, since it's almost four years since I had that job. Yet, the memories from it continue to be some of the most profound I've ever had, and boy, I've had an eventful and memorable handful of years after the fact with show business.
The work had a similar effect on me. It showed me what I really found purposeful and important in my life and pushed me to go after it. Being reminded that you'll die soon by literally staring at death in the face every day, is a powerful motivator.
I've also questioned my own healing from the trauma.
Not to sell you the book, but really just to connect with you ... the main character's journey is about being 'haunted' by the dead and you can imagine how that relates to trauma and where I pulled the inspiration from.
I don't want to sound too confident, but if you've ever wanted to feel seen or understood by an artist through a character, Atherton is basically made for people who've experienced what we did.
I think it'll resonate with you.
I still haven't sorted out all my feelings related to mortality and my past with death work, but writing Atherton's story was a big part of starting that process. I would be honored if you read it and gave me your thoughts afterwards, to see how it lands.
I've been forced to recognize mortality since memory could be made within myself, had a large family which all died before adulthood.
I cherish life so much daily and especially every moment i think about it with my children and find myself petrified at the realization that I'm their only lifeline, the only person capable of ensuring they don't similarly go through generational strife and toil.
Thank you for being another great human being out there to know of.
I'm not sure why but I started tearing up reading this. I feel the weight of your grief and am inspired by your strength moving through it with your own family. Thank you.
I accepted my fate fairly early in life (and to be fair I still am pretty young almost at the end of my college education) and I learned that it’s best to accept the inevitable and make the most of everything. Live a life with no regrets, nothing will hurt more than living your life and then wondering what it would’ve been like if you did this instead of that for a career. Quoting a Ted Nugent song “live it up” and be not afraid. I see what the fear of death itself does to people and it isn’t nice. Granted I don’t think many want to get to the end but it is going to happen one day and the sooner you accept it the most you make of everything else. Right now I’m dealing with changing career paths since I realized that I done effed up with college and it was better to do something else than I initially planned and it would have made these last few years easier for me but it’s not too late. Another thing, don’t get stuck up on the past, look at what you improve.
All that being said, you do some great work man it’s really impressive.
Thank you for these thoughts and ideas. Well said!
Just found your channel. You're an amazing well articulated person. I've always been intrigued by circus life. In my teens I enjoyed literature; 1700-1900's setting as well, mostly poetry: Arthur Rimbuad, William Blake, Fredrich Nietszhe, Charles Boudlaire, etc. Always interested in Jack the ripper and that time era, including the novel Dracula. I'd love to get your book when its out. You all do amazing work. Impressive to say the least. Much love. Shalom.
Edit: Irvine Welsh is my favorite authour, thought is mention that since you're in Scotland. Pretty cool man.
Ah a kindred spirit I see! Yes, I am also obsessed with such time periods and all the dark romantic literature that sprouted from it. If you like that, you'll feel a modern kinship with The Black Carnival. Preorders for the book are available now if you want to ensure your copy. The paperbacks come with a signed bookplate as well. Thank you for taking the time to be here with me!
@harlequin-grim I most definitely will; sounds very interesting. I've been checking out your unicycling and juggling and Achillea's acrobatic skills. Amazing talent, you two make me want to run away with the circus. 🎪 🤡🏋🎪
Topics like this, about life/death experience and thoughts, are very rare, but important. Thanks for your work!
My sincerest pleasure. I tried to flesh them out in a meaningful and entertaining way with The Black Carnival.
very interesting look into your life keep it up
Harley thanks for sharing this, I just signed up through the email link. I really enjoy the work you and the grim theater do. If I am having a bad day in particular when I feel like an outcast from my peers, your videos always seem to cheer me up. I can tell that there is substance in the work you guys do, it’s truly something special.
Pretty wise and deeply thought out. Appreciate this man.
My Death is all I ever think about.
Since I was about 5.
Now I’m 52… the thoughts have only gotten more intense.
Trust Jesus. ✝️
Thank you for sharing your story! I've been in a bit of a rut and found this helpful
@@Barren_Lands Amazing. The night is darkest before the dawn. Hope you can find some beauty in your struggles. 🖤
super articulate.
ok holy shit i NEED to read this book. cant wait for it to come out and i will definitely get on that mailing list. i havent had tangible experiences with death myself but i guess a side effect of growing up as a sort if odd child is a fascination with death XD and circus has just been such a fundamental prt of my life since i was a child that it was ought to tangle at one point. i think ive been especially drawn to your channel because of the style of performance you do, as i have a certain love for the macabre but cant really incorporate it into my own performances because i still mostly perform for children and parents. excited to see what your own troupe comes up with creatively.
it was also honestly really nice to hear that you got into circus fairly late, as i meant to start actually going more into performing right after finishing school but have now been dealing with a slow healing injury for more than a year and especially with such a physical artform it can sometimes feel like your youth is the only time for it (am turning 20 soon)
and i think you’re absolutely correct, i believe circus is life made art
sorry for the long comment and thank you for sharing this snippet of your life!
Thank you for these beautiful thoughts. In reality, it's never too late. True, one's body may not be capable of some things physically, but there are many disciplines in circus that you can perform into old age, like juggling and unicycle, and you can always adapt the acts to be kinder to your body so you can still make a living.
That said, get ahead of the game and get on it if you really want it.
I'm honored that you're inspired by my story. And, if you haven't already, the book has since become available for preorder since I made this video. Here's the link if you haven't got a copy yet! thegrimtheatre.com/black-carnival
I very much look forward to reading it! I love that genre...Thank you!
Can't wait for you to do so!
The book has since become available for preorder if you'd like to secure a copy or haven't already. I'd be honored. thegrimtheatre.com/black-carnival
Thank you for sharing this
You are so welcome
Thank you for all your content!
My pleasure!
Thanks for sharing brother. Interesting story
My pleasure.
My best friend used to drive the Hearse for Albuquerque Ambulance. By Hearse I mean a white van that was called a hearse and his job was to pick up all kinds of dead people. We lived together at the time. I had to hear all about it daily for a long time. He ended up doing crime scene cleanup also which definitely paid way better! But still kinda gross. For a little while he did both. The decomp jobs that he talked about always were disturbing to hear about!
I never would have guessed your past work. Its respectable. You dont show it effecting you in your performances which is a good thing. Im curious about the book you mentioned as well and the website i think ill take a look at it myself.
Thank you very much. Yes, please do!
The book is heavily influenced by that work. There are themes of grief, horror, hauntings, all inspired by my experiences. There's also joy, whimsy, and action. But at its heart, it's a book about what it means to be haunted, in the literal and metaphorical aspect.
@grim-theatre I had a look and I liked what I saw. I'm glad I subscribed as well. Will order the book also when i can.
Congratulations with your novel brother I hope all is well with you man I hope everything works out for you brother God bless you
Oh thank you! Trying to get as many preorders as possible to make the big day as big as we can get it.
wow ! wonderful. - have you considered Patreon for you book and any other writing etc or video work that you do. - hope to remember to look you up for your book. Fabulous what you are doing, more why i should say. Yes. I saw alot of death when i was very young - i didn't have alot of opportunity, but did things that were very important to my heart any time i could. It's a teacher for sure.
Oh thank you! Yes, I actually do have a Patreon already and I’d love to have you there. It’s Patreon.com/harlequingrim
The book is now available for preorder as well. There’s a page for it on TheGrimTheatre.com
@@grim-theatre brilliant thankyou! your co-hort is a blast too, loved watching her "flying lesson" - i used to do that.
@@alysmarcus7747 She is delightful. We are all-in on this life together.
And all this in peace time within the USA. Now imagine being a Navy corpsman or Army medic.
@@terry92104 It’s no wonder an entire generation of people came back from the World Wars and fundamentally altered society as a result of nobody knowing how to help heal them.
War is so pointless.
@harlequin-grim it's part of what spawned The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Prydain. Both authors were ex World War soldiers.
Im glad i clicked on this. I had a ton of questions after i came across your short videos. What is your " job title" or whatever you would call it? Yall are awesome. I dont think a lot of people realize how difficult and demanding it is to do what you do.
Thank you! Yes, it is quite a lot of work especially since we manage ourselves and are not always contracted with bigger companies. But it's so worth it.
Reach out to some podcasts such as Morbid or Our True Crime Podcast. Anything by audio chuck thier viewers are your future readers. 🖤🇦🇺
That's a good idea
It’s a grim theatre either way
Aim for the highest good
and you’ll always have a challenge
Tried to apply to a job for this.
My question- do you believe in a after life and the paranormal? After seeing so much death, where do you stand on what happens next.
It is appointed unto man once tob die and after this the judgment.
💎♦️🌻♦️💎
You have a cross earring. Do you believe in the immortality of the human soul, and that in this temporal life is where we decide how we will live eternally?
It is not a cross, it is actually a dagger. 🗡️ But I can see making that mistake. But no, I don’t share those beliefs. I do believe it is important to lead a moral and ethical life and to not squander one’s time, though.
@ - Sorry bout my misinterpretation. Your moral and ethical approach is very Christian.
@@jonathanleonard1152 Ironically, some of the best christians are atheists.
@ - And many, so called Christins, are very NOT christians.
All these videos are black
Eh?
I’d love to do what this guy is doing but I have a million dollar mortgage for a house to pay and I’m not sure the circus money will get me that house?
That's fair. It takes a lifetime of training and grinding in the industry to get to a point where it's that lucrative.
@
I’m living through you my friend 😃