Let me know: did any of this resonate with you? Do you think your behaviors may be more codependent than helpful? How are you relating to the people in your life? To get more clarity, download the guide: www.terricole.com/are-your-relationships-codependent-guide
I'm codependent in the sense of wanting to fix everyone's issues. My ex was codependent in overdoing for everyone and he couldn't say no and I think his resentment festered until he was at the description of end stage of codependency. I'm working on staying on my side of the street. Everytime I get focused on a friend's issues and feel I need to do something to help them, I remind myself to pray for them and focus on me.
This definitely hits. I can oftentimes give advice, and I recently realized that's not the way to go. Instead, I want to help them explore the 'problem' for themselves by asking questions. So they feel like the idea (my advice) was their own, instead of mine. Which is the only way someone actually changes.
To clarify, asking expansive questions ('what do you think you should do?') coupled with being genuinely curious about what the other person thinks is best for them allows them to lead and empowers them. It's not about our advice or what we think they should do. It's letting them be the heroes of their own story and letting go of trying to be in control of their situation (which we can't be). If they still want our opinion after that, it's okay to give, but it's best to be unattached to them taking it. Hope that makes sense!
I'm a high functioning codependent person and it was my Spiritual journey that uncovered the unsolicited advice and taking on of others energy. I am now going through your first book and look forward to the second. Thanks for helping me on my journey to express the best version of myself.
This is incredibly powerful. I work as a therapist and have read so much about codependency but this video has been the most succinct and straight-to-the-point explanation of codependency. Thank you. I’m rushing off to buy your book 😂❤ I could personally relate to the part where you mention frustration towards friends who don’t take your advice
Thank you for sharing this❤ actually I suddenly understand why I always feel afraid to tell my mom what I’m thinking or what I’ve been through , cause she always react too much , she being so stressed about what happening on me. And now I know that the feeling I have is being treated like a problem she needs to solve, and I always feel guilty if I troubled her
I never thought that treating people as a project was considered codependent. I ended up doing this with an emotionally unavailable man, since I'm pretty good with my emotions I thought I could help him with his attachment style (had to learn the hard way I can't). I just thought that since no one is perfect, certain things you would have to work on in the relationship. So I stayed and tried to work on it with him instead of walking away
Is it still codependency if I feel an immense need to help and be there for others. I feel a tremendous guilt if I step back to care for myself. I have an adult child with mental function limitations and a sister with leukemia. I am drained but feel worse if I am not there to make things easier or to offer support.
Let me know: did any of this resonate with you? Do you think your behaviors may be more codependent than helpful? How are you relating to the people in your life? To get more clarity, download the guide: www.terricole.com/are-your-relationships-codependent-guide
I'm codependent in the sense of wanting to fix everyone's issues. My ex was codependent in overdoing for everyone and he couldn't say no and I think his resentment festered until he was at the description of end stage of codependency. I'm working on staying on my side of the street. Everytime I get focused on a friend's issues and feel I need to do something to help them, I remind myself to pray for them and focus on me.
🙌🙌🙌
He was a narcissist
This definitely hits. I can oftentimes give advice, and I recently realized that's not the way to go. Instead, I want to help them explore the 'problem' for themselves by asking questions. So they feel like the idea (my advice) was their own, instead of mine. Which is the only way someone actually changes.
To clarify, asking expansive questions ('what do you think you should do?') coupled with being genuinely curious about what the other person thinks is best for them allows them to lead and empowers them. It's not about our advice or what we think they should do. It's letting them be the heroes of their own story and letting go of trying to be in control of their situation (which we can't be). If they still want our opinion after that, it's okay to give, but it's best to be unattached to them taking it. Hope that makes sense!
I loved that you reminded us to teach children critical thinking as young as possible.
So important 💕
I'm a high functioning codependent person and it was my Spiritual journey that uncovered the unsolicited advice and taking on of others energy. I am now going through your first book and look forward to the second. Thanks for helping me on my journey to express the best version of myself.
I'm so honored to be part of your journey 💕
Thank you for this very important reminder. Codependency is a work in progress.
Indeed!
This is incredibly powerful. I work as a therapist and have read so much about codependency but this video has been the most succinct and straight-to-the-point explanation of codependency. Thank you. I’m rushing off to buy your book 😂❤
I could personally relate to the part where you mention frustration towards friends who don’t take your advice
I'm so glad it was helpful! 💕 If you enjoyed this I definitely think you'll enjoy Too Much!
Thank you for sharing this❤ actually I suddenly understand why I always feel afraid to tell my mom what I’m thinking or what I’ve been through , cause she always react too much , she being so stressed about what happening on me. And now I know that the feeling I have is being treated like a problem she needs to solve, and I always feel guilty if I troubled her
Thank you for sharing, the timing of this is so timely and needed.
Glad to hear it 💕
I never thought that treating people as a project was considered codependent. I ended up doing this with an emotionally unavailable man, since I'm pretty good with my emotions I thought I could help him with his attachment style (had to learn the hard way I can't).
I just thought that since no one is perfect, certain things you would have to work on in the relationship. So I stayed and tried to work on it with him instead of walking away
Thank you for this insight that spoke so positively to me. 💗✨
So glad it resonated 💕
Thank you Terri 🎄♥️…..so good!
You're so welcome, thanks for watching 💕
Is it still codependency if I feel an immense need to help and be there for others. I feel a tremendous guilt if I step back to care for myself. I have an adult child with mental function limitations and a sister with leukemia. I am drained but feel worse if I am not there to make things easier or to offer support.