One thing I have learned about Canada is that the people from there are really kind and loves to help others. Because of that, it wraps off on the immigrants that move there from countries that do not like to help others. It’s my dream to live and settle there in the future.
The man living with them should be ashamed of himself to lay on a family like that. Like you said no matter how small he should still contribute something. The man of the house should never allow another man to lay on his family like that. They can help him but not in a way that negatively affects their family or become an enabler.
Some sacrifices are not worth it. Don’t allow yourself to be taken for granted there are a lot of selfish and shameless people over there. They take and never give. Wise up! and let him out you have done your part.
One thing I loathe is when people take advantage of others. They have been kind enough to let this man stay in their home and he can sleep well at night, knowing full well he’s taking advantage of them. He is a “man” so he should therefore at this point be able to fend for himself. I’m sure it’s this type of person that wouldn’t do the same for others. This man is a perfect example of why people sin by not being kind to others. You give them an inch and they take a mile. Thanks for sharing Bemi, I hope this helps the person seeking advice.
It's actually quite selfish to take one's hospitality and throw it back in the host's face. Its actually more blessed to give than to receive. People should grow and learn 😢
Friends like this are not people you should be afraid to offend. You frankly dont need them in your life at all because anyone who can eatch you and your kids be greatly inconvenienced and not try to be helpful, will also not help you in the future even if they are doing very well. Whether now or later, you don't need them in your life.
Your imitation of some people already here is so “spot on”. It’s really important to surround ourselves with people with positive mindset. Things might not be as smooth as we expect but at the same time, they can be smooth. I would also advise the same thing you advised the Lady. But if it becomes unbearable for the family to host the man they might have to tell him to move out, maybe give him a few week notice
Just Wow 😮Some people are just inconsiderate. 6 whole months & they have 4 kids haaaaa. If he was atleast contributing financially it won’t be so bad. They need to evict that adult working tenant with immediate effect.
I think they should tell him to try drop some money for food ( for himself)and also try and move out within three months so that the children can have their room back. Because they have really try ooo ❤❤❤
6months😮, the woman is trying, if you are planning to host anyone, please let them know for how long you are able to host them, when the time comes, remind them that it’s time to WAKAAA!!! Others be ready for the hustle to find your own place to sleep
I believe the key is for both parties to agree on how long he would be staying even from the start. Always ask the duration but in love and wisdom. That way, when the day to leave is approaching, they will know and put more work in getting their own place. Also, when you leave with someone, if it's in your capability, you need to contribute no matter how small.
A house guest who is working should contribute to bills and grocery costs, they should also do some chores - that is the barest minimum they could do! My friends have housed me in the past and vice-versa, this is what we do for each other, we take care of each other. No one leeches off anyone, we all help each other along while respecting each other's kindness and hospitality. I currently have an extended family member who asked to move into my house but I am scared to say yes, knowing family can be so insensitive and entitled and I do not want to become uncomfortable in my own home so I will most likely say no. To my friends, I will not think twice to say yes because we have known, love, mutually respect each other and do not at all take advantage. My advice to anyone who wants to take in a house guest whom they aren't so sure of their character is that they should have a conversation stating expectations, responsibilities and boundaries before the house guest arrives. Time limit for the stay would also be stated and strictly adhered to. If the guest fails to adhere to the stated terms, then they should be asked to leave.
Thanks for sharing. I have my own fair share of this. We stay in a two bedroom flat , we accommodated a relative for 18 months + no contribution to think that we a family of four were all staying in one room while the person had an entire room if we didn’t have the conversation I wonder how long it’d have been
Avoiding letting a relative come stay with me just for this reason because from my personal life experience, family members are the most entitled, ungrateful, unkind and insensitive. Discussed with my older sibling who agrees said relative should find their own way and I stay on my lane, to avoid potential issues in the future. If your house guest had a job, it is cruel and insensitive of them not to have contributed to your household bills. A friend had me visit for a few days recently, before we bought travelled abroad on holiday. She is the most generous and selfless host but the least I could do to show gratitude was buy the children little presents as well as pay for a mini grocery shopping trip we took to the supermarket. My girl and her husband will want me to have food in my mouth every minute while I'm at theirs, they cook and it's "K eat ooo, have you eaten?, eat now". But I try and eat like someone with sense and home training. I don't eat them dry. I would also go out and buy bread, fruits their children like and other treats. If they complain that I'm spending money while staying with them as a guest, I will argue that I bought stuff for the children and I to enjoy, and it's none of their business. I do these things to show my love and appreciation for their friendship and generosity. If I was an ungrateful weirdo, they would not be comfortable with me using theirs for as my base for a week annually, when I travel up to their neck of the woods to visit them as well as see other mutual friends who live in that part of the country. I do unto others what I would have done to me.
@@Rebel_Leader7 thank you for your detail3: response. The person worked but never bought even a lollipop for the kids not to talk of bread but ate minimum twice a day. Funny enough after we asked this person to leave politely, anytime they’d visit and let’s say I cooked , person would only wash their dish and leave the rest in the sink At one point he picked and chose when to work because he had no bills at home or it’s too cold outside
@@annan4368 I am sorry you had to deal with such insensitivity from someone you went over and above to accommodate. My prayer is that you will experience real human kindness in this world, there are genuinely lovely people out there and you will get to meet there. Also, thank you for your selfless sacrifice.
I think people just always avoid hard conversations and I get it(cos when it have to do with me directly, I don’t even bother having hard conversations, but when it involves others, especially “underdogs”, I Dey carry the matter for head), but when a situation is so inconveniencing for the family as stated, then a firm conversation still needs to be had, which one is “he’s been told and still not doing🙄”, Abi is my ears paining me?. 6, SIX, month rent free , ha!. It’s not even as if they had a guest room ohh, it’s the children’s room they had to vacate for the guest, haba, you don’t need to be nice to even have emotional intelligence, even if you feel your friend owes you help!. I agree with your suggestion at the end of the video, but 1month is fine to be said, instead of 3months. I believe when he realizes how much he would be spending for rent , he would by himself ask for how he can contribute to the house until he can finally stand on his own. I don’t know the sexes of the children, the guest could have even asked the parent to allow the same-sex kids with him sleep in the same room, so the parents room won’t be too packed, then again Parents would wanna protect their kids mbok , make we no hear stories that touch 😅. Pls let’s just have sence. Finally about the negativity part of people, in relation to the job example you stated, I was just laughing. If I had listened to some people’s remark, I would have short charged myself when I relocated and started looking for Job in another career field sef, nevertheless I overlooked the average African pay being said to me, and stood on the pay range I would accept and then I got it about 1month+ after I actually started actively job searching. We gat know our value and stand on it, during job interviews be firm and direct, my country or continent doesn’t define me! Lemme stop here mbok😅. God help us all 🙌🏽.
I have really enjoyed the blessing of people in this abroad. But again like you said, some people should be avoided, they have bad and fearful opinions/speech. Once I hear them like this, I carry my head and run. Words are powerful don’t speak negatively around me abegggg 😊
My brother in-law was sent America by his blood uncle, but he's paying part of their mortgage for the room he's occupying, for food, for bills and even his uncle's car insurance since he's being driving it to work,
As for those who speak negatively. I have come to realise it's because of what they are going thru so I don't take it personal. I just un-hear what they have to say. lol. I also try not to harbour negative judgement about them by telling myself their situation must b negative for them to feel that way. I also feel as humans we should work on our hearts especially when we realise we are becoming negative, angry, bitter. Lastly they should give him 1 month to move out. Housing someone who is working for 6 months is more than gracious especially at the expense of your kids they don't need to make it a year.
My question is when he was leaving Nigeria where was he thinking he will sleep and eat at. How can you have a job. You see your friend is d only one working for a family of 6. The kids gave up their room for u. And you don't drop a dime. Please 30/50 pounds is too small. The least you should drop in that situation is cad/gbp 100 monthly. Anyways one thing I have realised about life is that some people are takers. They will take and take from u until u have nothing left. In his mind the family is ok making the sacrifice for him so it doesn't concern him to give back in any way. He is only thinking of what he can benefit. Not what the other person is giving up for him to benefit and a lot of Nigerians are like that.
Listening to this again (read it on mum confession) and I'm laughing cause people are mad. And some pple were saying she should bear it in d comments on mumconfessions. Human beings have no shame sha. How are u comfortable depending on a one income family of 6 for 6 months. Would post a second comment again after you analyse it.
He's a leech and he's trying to use them to save money. He'll go from their own home to a mortgage! Nothing wrong with that but you need to let your hosts know what your intention is. That way they can decide whether or not they can tolerate that amount of time.
At this stage, the guy has to leave their house. Haba!! He doesn’t have common sense to assist the family financially. Let him go and rent a room or basement and pay for bills to see how it feels.
Some people are naturally shameless and lack common sense. How does he sleep comfortably in that house knowing very well he isn’t contributing in anyway?😅
I thought about that o. How dem dey knack 😂😂😂🫣. You are spot on. I love your advice. Na so e suppose be. We must always pay it forward and its more blessed to give than to receive
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One thing I have learned about Canada is that the people from there are really kind and loves to help others. Because of that, it wraps off on the immigrants that move there from countries that do not like to help others. It’s my dream to live and settle there in the future.
The man living with them should be ashamed of himself to lay on a family like that. Like you said no matter how small he should still contribute something. The man of the house should never allow another man to lay on his family like that. They can help him but not in a way that negatively affects their family or become an enabler.
Some sacrifices are not worth it. Don’t allow yourself to be taken for granted there are a lot of selfish and shameless people over there. They take and never give. Wise up! and let him out you have done your part.
Hmmm! True words! You have tried and done your part
One thing I loathe is when people take advantage of others.
They have been kind enough to let this man stay in their home and he can sleep well at night, knowing full well he’s taking advantage of them.
He is a “man” so he should therefore at this point be able to fend for himself. I’m sure it’s this type of person that wouldn’t do the same for others.
This man is a perfect example of why people sin by not being kind to others. You give them an inch and they take a mile.
Thanks for sharing Bemi, I hope this helps the person seeking advice.
Yes I understand why people don’t like to help others.
It's actually quite selfish to take one's hospitality and throw it back in the host's face. Its actually more blessed to give than to receive. People should grow and learn 😢
I don’t know why people do remember this
Friends like this are not people you should be afraid to offend. You frankly dont need them in your life at all because anyone who can eatch you and your kids be greatly inconvenienced and not try to be helpful, will also not help you in the future even if they are doing very well. Whether now or later, you don't need them in your life.
I agree with you! Because how comfortable are you just there and not doing your own part?
Your imitation of some people already here is so “spot on”. It’s really important to surround ourselves with people with positive mindset. Things might not be as smooth as we expect but at the same time, they can be smooth.
I would also advise the same thing you advised the Lady. But if it becomes unbearable for the family to host the man they might have to tell him to move out, maybe give him a few week notice
Just Wow 😮Some people are just inconsiderate. 6 whole months & they have 4 kids haaaaa. If he was atleast contributing financially it won’t be so bad. They need to evict that adult working tenant with immediate effect.
That’s one of the things I like my hubby for, he will tell you his mind. Bills abroad chokeeeee
E dey choke ooo for someone to be living rent free ha
I think they should tell him to try drop some money for food ( for himself)and also try and move out within three months so that the children can have their room back. Because they have really try ooo ❤❤❤
They already told him and he keeps giving excuses
6months😮, the woman is trying, if you are planning to host anyone, please let them know for how long you are able to host them, when the time comes, remind them that it’s time to WAKAAA!!! Others be ready for the hustle to find your own place to sleep
Yeah I agree with you
Dont let anyone use and abuse you or your kindness. Dont let anyone make u feel guilty in your own house.
Yup!!!
I believe the key is for both parties to agree on how long he would be staying even from the start. Always ask the duration but in love and wisdom. That way, when the day to leave is approaching, they will know and put more work in getting their own place.
Also, when you leave with someone, if it's in your capability, you need to contribute no matter how small.
Yup! That has to be decided from the beginning
A house guest who is working should contribute to bills and grocery costs, they should also do some chores - that is the barest minimum they could do!
My friends have housed me in the past and vice-versa, this is what we do for each other, we take care of each other. No one leeches off anyone, we all help each other along while respecting each other's kindness and hospitality.
I currently have an extended family member who asked to move into my house but I am scared to say yes, knowing family can be so insensitive and entitled and I do not want to become uncomfortable in my own home so I will most likely say no.
To my friends, I will not think twice to say yes because we have known, love, mutually respect each other and do not at all take advantage.
My advice to anyone who wants to take in a house guest whom they aren't so sure of their character is that they should have a conversation stating expectations, responsibilities and boundaries before the house guest arrives. Time limit for the stay would also be stated and strictly adhered to. If the guest fails to adhere to the stated terms, then they should be asked to leave.
Yes this last part is very important, time limit must be shared from the very beginning!
Well said Bemi
Thank you 😊
Thanks for sharing. I have my own fair share of this. We stay in a two bedroom flat , we accommodated a relative for 18 months + no contribution to think that we a family of four were all staying in one room while the person had an entire room if we didn’t have the conversation I wonder how long it’d have been
Avoiding letting a relative come stay with me just for this reason because from my personal life experience, family members are the most entitled, ungrateful, unkind and insensitive. Discussed with my older sibling who agrees said relative should find their own way and I stay on my lane, to avoid potential issues in the future.
If your house guest had a job, it is cruel and insensitive of them not to have contributed to your household bills.
A friend had me visit for a few days recently, before we bought travelled abroad on holiday. She is the most generous and selfless host but the least I could do to show gratitude was buy the children little presents as well as pay for a mini grocery shopping trip we took to the supermarket. My girl and her husband will want me to have food in my mouth every minute while I'm at theirs, they cook and it's "K eat ooo, have you eaten?, eat now". But I try and eat like someone with sense and home training. I don't eat them dry. I would also go out and buy bread, fruits their children like and other treats. If they complain that I'm spending money while staying with them as a guest, I will argue that I bought stuff for the children and I to enjoy, and it's none of their business.
I do these things to show my love and appreciation for their friendship and generosity. If I was an ungrateful weirdo, they would not be comfortable with me using theirs for as my base for a week annually, when I travel up to their neck of the woods to visit them as well as see other mutual friends who live in that part of the country. I do unto others what I would have done to me.
@@Rebel_Leader7 thank you for your detail3: response. The person worked but never bought even a lollipop for the kids not to talk of bread but ate minimum twice a day.
Funny enough after we asked this person to leave politely, anytime they’d visit and let’s say I cooked , person would only wash their dish and leave the rest in the sink
At one point he picked and chose when to work because he had no bills at home or it’s too cold outside
@@annan4368 I am sorry you had to deal with such insensitivity from someone you went over and above to accommodate.
My prayer is that you will experience real human kindness in this world, there are genuinely lovely people out there and you will get to meet there.
Also, thank you for your selfless sacrifice.
18 months? Wowwwww you are a good person oh! That’s such a long time wow
I think people just always avoid hard conversations and I get it(cos when it have to do with me directly, I don’t even bother having hard conversations, but when it involves others, especially “underdogs”, I Dey carry the matter for head), but when a situation is so inconveniencing for the family as stated, then a firm conversation still needs to be had, which one is “he’s been told and still not doing🙄”, Abi is my ears paining me?.
6, SIX, month rent free , ha!. It’s not even as if they had a guest room ohh, it’s the children’s room they had to vacate for the guest, haba, you don’t need to be nice to even have emotional intelligence, even if you feel your friend owes you help!.
I agree with your suggestion at the end of the video, but 1month is fine to be said, instead of 3months. I believe when he realizes how much he would be spending for rent , he would by himself ask for how he can contribute to the house until he can finally stand on his own.
I don’t know the sexes of the children, the guest could have even asked the parent to allow the same-sex kids with him sleep in the same room, so the parents room won’t be too packed, then again Parents would wanna protect their kids mbok , make we no hear stories that touch 😅. Pls let’s just have sence.
Finally about the negativity part of people, in relation to the job example you stated, I was just laughing. If I had listened to some people’s remark, I would have short charged myself when I relocated and started looking for Job in another career field sef, nevertheless I overlooked the average African pay being said to me, and stood on the pay range I would accept and then I got it about 1month+ after I actually started actively job searching. We gat know our value and stand on it, during job interviews be firm and direct, my country or continent doesn’t define me! Lemme stop here mbok😅.
God help us all 🙌🏽.
Thank you for this cause me sef I need to take this advice about job search o
I have really enjoyed the blessing of people in this abroad. But again like you said, some people should be avoided, they have bad and fearful opinions/speech. Once I hear them like this, I carry my head and run. Words are powerful don’t speak negatively around me abegggg 😊
I have enjoyed it too oh! And I thank God for It every blessed day!
People can be so stupid sha, sis you are not harsh ooo.. I talk about this on my channel also, new comers should always consider their host abeg
My brother in-law was sent America by his blood uncle, but he's paying part of their mortgage for the room he's occupying, for food, for bills and even his uncle's car insurance since he's being driving it to work,
That’s how things are meant to be especially when he is already working!
As for those who speak negatively. I have come to realise it's because of what they are going thru so I don't take it personal. I just un-hear what they have to say. lol. I also try not to harbour negative judgement about them by telling myself their situation must b negative for them to feel that way. I also feel as humans we should work on our hearts especially when we realise we are becoming negative, angry, bitter. Lastly they should give him 1 month to move out. Housing someone who is working for 6 months is more than gracious especially at the expense of your kids they don't need to make it a year.
This is another angle sha and I like it! It’s probably because of what they went through! So spot on!
Abeg, they should ask the man to move out. Didn't he have a plan in place on how to pay back his loans?
You can imagine
He is a Leech 😂😂😂 6 months is a lot, 2 weeks is enough
😂😂😂😂
Anyone who works should contribute period!
Yup!
My question is when he was leaving Nigeria where was he thinking he will sleep and eat at. How can you have a job. You see your friend is d only one working for a family of 6. The kids gave up their room for u. And you don't drop a dime. Please 30/50 pounds is too small. The least you should drop in that situation is cad/gbp 100 monthly. Anyways one thing I have realised about life is that some people are takers. They will take and take from u until u have nothing left. In his mind the family is ok making the sacrifice for him so it doesn't concern him to give back in any way. He is only thinking of what he can benefit. Not what the other person is giving up for him to benefit and a lot of Nigerians are like that.
😂😂😂😂 see that’s humans for you!
The person in my house now is the last person because last last, the person who accommodates another person will become the bad one
Haaaa..
You are a nice woman
The woman is truly nice o
Listening to this again (read it on mum confession) and I'm laughing cause people are mad. And some pple were saying she should bear it in d comments on mumconfessions. Human beings have no shame sha. How are u comfortable depending on a one income family of 6 for 6 months. Would post a second comment again after you analyse it.
I had to re-read to make sure I was reading the right thing o
Hello beauty👍🥰
Hi! 👋
@@BemiBadmus hello ma that ur agent hasn't replied me oo on IG
They have over tried bye bye to him immediately
😂😂😂😂
Hosting an entitled person in ilu oyinbo....hmmn. May God be with you.
😂😂😂 it’s the Ilu Oyinbo for me, ko easy rara
He's a leech and he's trying to use them to save money. He'll go from their own home to a mortgage! Nothing wrong with that but you need to let your hosts know what your intention is. That way they can decide whether or not they can tolerate that amount of time.
Yes you are so right! I agree with you
At this stage, the guy has to leave their house. Haba!! He doesn’t have common sense to assist the family financially. Let him go and rent a room or basement and pay for bills to see how it feels.
😂😂😂 exactly o
At least let him buy foodstuffs monthly or weekly, it must not be money.
That’s what I think too.. he should not even be told na
He's probably putting up property back home t their expense, and will rub it in their face later
Gosh I don’t like people like this, they feel they are the smartest in the world!
Some people are naturally shameless and lack common sense. How does he sleep comfortably in that house knowing very well he isn’t contributing in anyway?😅
Me sef I don’t understand! It can never be me, I would not be comfortable at all
I thought about that o. How dem dey knack 😂😂😂🫣. You are spot on. I love your advice. Na so e suppose be. We must always pay it forward and its more blessed to give than to receive
😂😂😂 but it’s true na
@@BemiBadmus 😂😂😂 very true