First Time Hearing Would Anyone Care by Citizen Soldier | Suicide Survivor Reacts
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
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This is a request from my Friday Let's Talk Mental Health stream and is my first time hearing Would Anyone Care by Citizen Soldier. It definitely hit deep because I know these thoughts all of too well. These are such common thoughts for people struggling.
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Next song by citizen soldier called stronger than my strom
Could you react to fake plastic trees by Radiohead please.
Yes, being the answer to would anyone care, is the reason i'm still alive.
I've never done ok in therapy. I've always been the "rock" for every one else. I haven't been ok since. I"came home" and right now this is kinda just me screaming at the walls th-cam.com/video/VbaFJiWftwk/w-d-xo.html
You should check out the nearest songs just released today cause this is your sign part 2 released toady, i recommend the song this is your sign that hits really hard.
Thank you for such a great reaction!
Thank you guys so much for watching! Would love to have you guys join the other artists (ex. Billy Bob Thornton, John Corabi, Teddy Andreadis) who have stopped by and talked mental health with me. Would you be down to a chat next month (mental health awareness month)? I think it would be very insightful. Love you guys already and I am only a few songs in!
Love ya guys. Please keep what you guys do going.
And ty for the wonderful song that a lot of us including me can relate to 🧡
@@MentalAmanda there new álbum comes out next wensday
Do you know Mha if so I think this would be awesome for Deku/Izuku Midoriya
Citizen Soldier is a band about depression, suicide, and other mental health struggles. The lead singer Jake attempted suicide in 2013 and created this band to show that you can make it through all the struggles. The band has helped me a lot all their songs have related to me to a T its insane how they make you feel.
Jake Segura actually wrote the lyrics to let it burn while in the hospital after his suicide attempt and in the song he is referring to "kid" as himself the song is a reminder to him and everyone else to never give up!
I broke down just hearing that, but in a good way. I am still here because my flicker has always been more like an all-consuming inferno, which ended up burning me indiscriminately. Music is dear to me as it was undoubtedly the crutch I had left to lean on while saving myself. I am beyond overjoyed to finally learn there is a whole band dedicated to my exact purpose and being. Their music and commercial success has inspired and motived me beyond words, and WILL end up being a leading narrative in my own story. Though my story and songs I will reach the ears and minds of those whom need what I so desperately begged for. Bless the futures we all still have.
I was in a dark place when I started listening to citizen soldier the first song that got me into them is the weight of the world. Their music I can really relate to. Their music is more of a therapy then going to a therapist for me.
@@blackphoenixgirl2236 I kinda agree with you there I've been in therapy before and then I found music not only citizen soldier but also other artists and different types of music I'm not really going to go into but I used to just hit walls and stuff till I didn't feel the pain of life any more but now I can say that I'm actually here to stay for good and I'm happy about my choice
I didn't know that
That song hit me really hard. It’s like someone saw my soul and thoughts and put it into a song.
Same tbh
I tried k!lling myself in the shower last year.. ik that probably sounds a little strange but still
I'm so glad I'm still here
That is ALL their songs
For me I hate myself, hits super hard.
I immediately started crying when the first sentence was sung. I really hate to see people struggling but at the same time it's kind of a relief maybe? to see that I'm not the only one.
We all struggle in our own way. No one is alone in that. Amanda's vision with helping people with mental health issues is much needed.
Take care and don't be afraid to ask for help from anyone, that's always the hardest part no matter what your struggle is.
@@ak2nda695 I agree. and yes! I'm really grateful for what she's doing. thank you so much. I've been feeling better recently.
hope you're having a great day :)
I feel you on that
I personally know Jake, Citizen Soldier's lead singer, and he's an absolute gem of a human. He's been through a lot of bad things, and now he makes music to help inspire other people to never give up. He also helped me on my musical path as well. Amazing man, all around.
Hi David, I'm a veteran with PTSD amongst other things. Please thank Jake from me, his songs have really hit home with me. I would not be here today without people like him... Give him my regards please and good luck with your musical future bro!
@@tonybooy9807 will do!
i would love to meet this person that your talking about but i know it will never happen. im walking down a very very narrow road in hopes of falling off but im still here so far.
@@mikefrazier3412 go to any of Citizen Soldier's shows! They interact with their fans very often, and Jake is very friendly and open
By the songs he did I can see that his songs are heart touching honestly some of his songs have me tear up and I don’t cry very easy lol he does a great job on his music
I stumbled onto this song by total accident, and just the first few lines had me reliving some long repressed memories of asking myself these same questions when I was younger. I sobbed through the whole song, and then I just kept pressing replay.
The easiest possible answer is it wasn't an accident. Coincidence mabey but no accident. I am in same boat and first thing I did was come to Amanda's youtube to hear her reaction. Her videos talk to me from a survivor and a former addict. This is home for me. I come to watch her videos because she is understanding and the way she speaks touches my shoulder and says " It's OK to not be ok, just don't stay in that place too long. You are loved"
Tears, tears and more damn tears 😭 this was a knife in the heart twisting, awesome stuff 🖤🖤🖤
Every single Citizen soldier song feels like they've taken an in depth look at my soul. This song, the moment it starts I'm already fighting off tears but the lyric "I've never felt worthy of love" always causes the dam to break. Again this band is SO amazing and so important, I hope you'll continue to check out more of their work. It's hard what to choose, honestly all their songs are worth checking out.
If you haven't already I highly suggest the song that started it all, Let it burn, wrote down in a hospital after the main vocalist tried to commit suicide but survived. I greatly appreciate them and you, I've never had someone dissect a song like this so well so I'm really grateful, Thank you.
Hey Amanda I want to thank you. Finding your TH-cam channel has really opened my eyes to why I wasn't killed in Iraq and Afghanistan and why I didn't kill myself that night I first heard Save Me by Jellyroll.
Two nights ago I got a phone call from a battle buddies wife and she was frantic. Her husband was locked in his cellar and was planning to commit suicide. She asked if I could help. I told her to tell him to answer my call on his cell phone when I call. I hung up with her and called him. He answered and I told him I needed to tell him something. I told him about me almost committing suicide. We talked for 4 hours when he finally went up the stairs and asked the police to take him to a mental hospital so he could check in. I'm traveling to Washington state Monday to visit him in person.
Dude, I've got no words, as I've got no realistic comparison in my life. Sounds kinda empty, but stay strong, and your buddy too
@@damiankynoch7724 I will and your words show the compassion vets dearly need
@@chrismadden132 yo man. That's rough. But thankfully you were there for your battle buddy. You had his back when he needed it. Massive respect man.
I hope your friend gets the help he needs. He and his family are blessed to have you in his life. I'm sure it's not the only reason you are alive, it's humbling to think that you being there for your friend is part of your path in life. You didn't end your life so you could save his. You might not have known it and maybe it only a small part, but I guarantee it is the most meaningful thing to his family.
Please share this channel with your friend(s) and let him (them) know your sacrifice for our country is greatly appreciated. It is sad to me that people think if you didn't die in battle that you didn't make a sacrifice. Anyone who sees the horrors of war do sacrifice their mental health.
Thank you for helping your friend you're awesome.
@@ak2nda695 I owe him my life literally. In Iraq he took a bullet for me. Talking him down was the least I could do.
wow , what an amazing song,, first time hearing it. really loved what you said about suicide not ending the pain but just transferring to others. the main reason i have not turned out the light.
A really "For sure nobody has heard this song" that is all about mental health is "Last Chance" by Anybody Killa. Great song and the video is pretty heavy. Maybe worth a watch if you're looking for something out of left field. Love the channel, keep it up. 👌
Citizen Soldier is awesome... I feel like they are singing about my life.. I can relate to their songs. I have suffered through for 71 years and still struggling. There are two more songs you should listen to "This is Your Sign" and "Still Breathing".
Both are great songs
I've watched this video multiple times so came back to comment again:
I love how you nodded yes at the lyric "Would anything change?" ...
but then you shook your head no at "Would you all be just fine?"
We need more people like you in the world who genuinely understand this feeling. Your reaction is amazing. If only the basic population could understand what people with mental illness go through and then the people who are left to deal with the aftermath of a suicide.
Well again you have made a grown man cry 😂 but there's nothing wrong with with that thank you so much girl for what you do ❤️
Damn these onion slicing ninjas sneaking in here.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 bro I work at in n out why this so relatable Fr haha 😆 😆 😆 😂@@johnbubba1143
this song came on my pandora 13 minutes after I was informed about my friends suicide. I stop talking to him after he and I had a falling out. it kills me cause he tried to reach out to me and I was so mad at him. now I feel so much regret for not helping him. this song is the only connection I have to him now. thank you for reacting to it.❤
He knew below his Shadow that you still cared. His struggles just outweighed his coping mechanisms. It's not your fault. 💖
The plot in you - letters for a dead friend, is...really deeper and the feeling on the song is just...uff
Ty so much again for your words of caring an sympathy. I was having a bad day and watched this reaction. I love this song and band in general. You are amazing and even over the internet, on TH-cam, your words are power. Be blessed. 4+ years clean an sober an still going strong.
Proud of you!
Yup. I still have the same username, but i’ll change it once my headache stops from being ill. Anyway. This song kinda reminds me of when i was in a relationship with a girl who really struggled with suicidal thoughts at times. I still sometimes dream of how sometimes late at night i had to force her down until she got too tired and fell asleep, just so she couldn’t do anything to hurt herself. Or i had to find her in the woods because she ran away saying she would end her live. It happened a lot, but i’m glad i was always able to help, even if she hated me for it. And i’m glad i even had the courage if she threatened me. I had a dream about it again last night, and i’m not sure why. It’s not something i think about really, but i never talked about it either. I’m just happy that she’s better now and that she found her own way in life, even if we had to go our separate ways because of it.
Wow...I literally have no words...your reaction...was how I felt when I first heard this song...CS is literally my favorite band...theyve helped me, and they continue to help...every day....I know a good amount of their songs...by heart...that's how much I love their music..
Love Citizen Soldier's music, they keep me going. They help me to fight my demons day in and day out. Depression is so exhausting and to keep on fighting and just survive does get too much. All you can do is try to not give up, not easy.
One of These Songs i hear every day...
Could you make a reaction Video of "Citizen soldier - i'm Not okay", or never ending Nightmare?
Edit: OK, definitly "I'm Not ok"...
Heard it a few minutes ago and at "wont to be alive" i've Had to cry so hard, it was so painful 😭
Citizen Soldier is my number one favorite band. Love all their songs. Love what they stand for and more. Much love.
question : would anyone care? Answer: YES!!!! Absolutely.
Fxxcking right!!!
The proper answer here is "you're go**amn right."
Look up "If I surrender" or "Hand me Down" by Citizen Solider, its amazing, and is my feelings at the moment
Not sure how you normally pick suggestions. But I do have a song I think you would like, and a it is a song that helped me get me through my depression when I had it. Though I am out of my depression now, the song can still make me cry, both because of the thoughts I had at the time, and thinking about how much better I have it now. So if you ever get the chance I would love for you to hear or react to the song called Fall From Grace by the band Times of Grace. And also Thank you very much for your videos.
The vast majority are from my Patreons or those on my Friday live stream, but sometimes I have extra time and grab one from comments! Glad you're still here. Keep fighting!
@@MentalAmanda I very much hope you do listen to this song then!
I’m a combat veteran with severe ptsd, depression and anxiety. I was 19 when I deployed to ramadi Iraq. I’ve seen an done some shit that haunts me today. My flashbacks an nightmares feel like I’m back over there. I’ve been back for 17 years. I had 2 brothers commit suicide this yr in the same month. They prepared us for combat but not to come home. Reach out if you suffer from any of these. See ya in Valhalla brothers.
I hope you can find strength and your brothers are at peace. Thank you all for your sacrifices in protecting me.
If possible you should react to there song "if I surrender"
I love how you broke this down. From someone who battles PTSD from combat, I get it. I face my demons every damn day and I know I am not alone here. However, we have GOT to start embracing an attitude of conquerors not victims. I understand we may never completely remove this from our lives. But we have to shed this cloud of victimhood. If we stay in that frame of mind, we never allow the good or light to shine through. Too many seek the attention and not the help. We all have good and bad days, but it’s time to grab depression in a chokehold and deny it power! Keep up the good work! Sometimes people need to hear that voice which understands and can articulate what they are feeling but they can’t seem to put it into words. You are that voice and you do it so well.
I agree wholeheartedly. I refuse to say that I am a 'victim' of sexual assault or abuse. I'm a survivor!
This is very intelligent description and overview. I don't suffer any mental illness (although my doctor disagrees and so do lots of other people) and I never been shot at with an actual weapon. ( i was physically hurt but never shot at) but I can relate to the position that is described in this video and your very good overview of it. maybe I feel this way because this is what I would say but I like the way this music video and you put it. however as far as people bringing you down because they were hurt themselves. While that does happen quite often and I caught myself doing that. Some people have it well and they are still assholes because that is the way they are. and while I want to be loved by my family and my friends and those who mean well and even those who had difficult time and are just lashing out. There are people that i don't care how they feel about me. i just want them to fear me.
Thank you Amanda
Your voice is carrying the sound of everyone needing to be heard. This is the first time I've ever commented on a video. Please keep going. You give a voice to those who have none.
This song has so many of my own feelings in it. And I love that you are reacting to it ❤️
The ideas stated in the song are things I've thought about for months now and they just are very difficult to fight at this point, but I'm still going.
And you can keep going. You are strong, and we’re all glad you’re here. I’ve been there too a lot of times. Even quite recently. That you’re talking about it is a very important first step to fixing what’s wrong. I hope you start feeling better soon mate. We support you
@@justsomeawesomeperson6396 thanks! Name ironically helps this message lmao
The fact that these are lyrics in a song shows that there are MANY people that feel just like you. Many have faced this and overcome it. You got this!
God the first half of the song was my mantra for over ten years before i was hospitalized. almost three year survivor now. the last part is my mantra now. doing my best every day. thank you so much for this.
I am happy your light still shines!
The transfer of pain from me to others is the main reason I haven't at least tried to end it all. I feel I'm a burden on people. I would think it's just in my head if not for the fact that I've been told I'm a burden on them. So I suffer in silence. I've done things in my past that I loath myself for. And it's alienated me from the people I've hurt. I can't change the past but I try to be a help to others I see struggling. Thank you for reacting to this song. I'm not ashamed to say I cried like a baby when I first heard it. It's the very words I scream to myself everyday. If it's not too much to ask, could you react to Blue October's "Hate Me"?
The people that said that to you have their own demons and pain. When a hurt person doesn't know how to process or manage the hurt, they try to project it and transfer it to other people. You aren't a burden. You're worthy of love and patience. There are plenty of people who will understand and will see your value, myself included.
@@MentalAmanda I try not to be negative towards people like that. They're fighting their own battles just as I'm fighting mine. My depression and anxiety will be a life long battle and I've finally come to terms with that. Although I do have good days too.
Honestly I've been going through a lot and this song really makes me cry because it it's so personal to me I just have a lot of stuff going on in my life and I feel those thoughts often your words really helps me thank you with this song combined is just incredible i can't thank you enough
Listen to Fozzy - I still Burn
Its a banger
I don't feel like anything is worth it anymore. I lost my daughter in 2020 at the age of 3 my mom last year and my dad a month ago. I got no one left.
I lost my parents in 2005 and 2007 and had a miscarriage in 2020. The loss and grief can seem insurmountable. I cycled through addiction, self-harm and suicidal ideation for SO long. But I finally got to a point of realizing that if I end it, there's nobody left to share their love with the world. So I find ways to keep their love and memory alive. I'm so sorry for all of your losses and I will tell you first hand that you never "get over" them, but you do get to a point where the grief shifts and you can start living again and not just surviving.
This band has pulled me through many a dark time in the last 2 years.
Citizen Soldier’s music saved my life. Literally.
While I never did turn my thoughts of suicide into behaviours; my mental state was exceedingly close to taking that turn.
That’s when I came across their music; their song “This Is Your Sign” found me; I listened to it and I’ve been addicted to them ever since. They’ve saved my life and empowered me to continue living.
I’m so glad their music has impacted you in such a positive way. I’m happy you are still here with us.
It's like this song was written about me.
I’ve watched several different reactions to this song. This is the first time that I have actually cried! Thank you. For both your reaction and your positive affirmations. With this one video you won a new subscriber. There are so many others I’d love to see you react to. Irreplaceable, Bedroom Ceiling, This Is Your Sign, Just Be Happy, and several others
same man its hard for me to show emotion but i have alot empathy so when someone cry it goes easier
i cannot put to words the effect this song has had on me. being able to sing those words at the end has brought me to tears multiple times. and sometimes thats all we want.
Let me just say………..I’ve practically been withering for my whole life…….n been chronically suffering all this time……with noone with enough care to help…………not even my mother………..all I have is Christ…………..and a TBI………..so I understand………………………….
You have us here in the community!
Felt this song a few times especially throughout the last few years.
@Mental Amanda thank you so much for doing this song. I hold this song very close to me personally because I struggle with depression and anxiety every single day. And this song is 1000% how i feel on the inside on those bad days. The things you said in the video about how others react around us people who have these problems is so true. For the past 15 years I have felt alone and not wanted and stuck in that rut with no way out. When I voice how I am feeling I notice more than often people are afraid to even answer or try to be there for you. It's even harder when it's family that does that to you. I have been able to pick out who the real people are in my life from the way they react. Out of those real people just recently in the past month I have found someone who means the world to me and I would do anything in my power for this person. She is now the love of my life and when I am having a bad day it's like she makes it her mission to be there for me and show me that love that I need to pull through. Depression and anxiety are no laughing matter yes those feelings are in our head but don't be those people who just sit there and say "it's all in your head" because that makes things worse for us and makes us feel even more like people don't care. Approach it differently and just show that you care by having a conversation and showing that person there are people out there that are by your side and willing to be there for you in your times of need. Once again thank you for doing a reaction to this song and keep up the great videos.
I had a guru once tell me that something being in your head is the worst place that it can be because you can't just walk away from it.
I can tell you first hand as a suaside survivor how bad it hits the ones who love you, especually the ones you didnt know loved you, 2 years ago inside my house whitch is wired with security cams everywhere, i took my life, and was found shortly after doing so in time that EMS managed to make my heart beat again, i was found by my mother, father, sister, and brother who came to check in on me as i hadnt texted any of them in a week at the time, now they didnt get my heart going until after i got into the ambulance so my family thought i was gone for good. They told me i ended up flat lining 3 times total, but im still here, first thing i did when i got cleared from the hospital a few weeks later, went into court ordered phyco theropy as a ulturnative to being charged with attempted suaside and yes its a real charge anyways first thing i did was reviewd the security cam footage of that day i died. Because i know how lonly and empty i felt when i took my life and seeing how devistated and scared my family was to find me dead on the floor, it was an hd security cam so i could see the detail and the devistation in there eyes and horror on there faces, because moments before hitting the floor dead i felt i was alone, no one cared and i wasnt loved and was hated by all, but as i watched the horrer show of the cam footage i broke down hard because i could see how loved i was and how people i thought hated me had actually loved me all along, i am fotunate enough to see what suaside did to my family after i died temporarily
I am so grateful that you are still here with us and I hope you keep healing 💖
The reaction was amazing in itself, but then you had an instrumental of "One More Light" playing at the end. I'm in absolute tears.
I remember watching this music video after I failed my attempt at suicide, and I've never felt so miserable, hopless, and outcasted in my life, and then I started thinking how can I prove people wrong because my girlfriend at the time was cheering me on, I was so blinded by my sorrow that I didn't realize what I had, thank you for reacting to this
I hope you know that she was toxic human sludge and that you are worthy of love. Glad you're still here!
I try to end my life back in 2019 because I was bullied and the teachers could see what was wrong but didnt help. So I did it again few times after that year. 😭
I was so close of doing it today but its ok. I have stop posting videos on my channels because of my mental health and uni but people don't understand why I stop. I lost people because of it all. I don't really have any support on my channels. 🥺
You have almost 1000 subs (I just subscribed too.) You're doing great! Your mental health comes first. Numbers on here will fluctuate (I have it too.) It's not you!
take back your life...what life?
lots of people have that guestion for themself...
We create our own life purpose and meaning 💖
Citizen Soldier is my favorite band because they're songs help me through my darkest days. 😭
I once thought of eating a bullet and stop anyone from doing it. The thing that stopped me was one simple thing...I said something about it and others stepped in. I was in the military and what happened was kept in-house. I saw others who were having struggled worse than me and changed how I handled problems. I tapped into my inner strength and have been running with it ever since 👍
I love Would Anyone Care. Honestly I had depression not too long ago because I was sexually assaulted, I won't reveal who did it. I just wanted to say that I'm getting help and I'm doing much better. My mom said I started acting like my old self again and I'm grateful for my counselors that help me through that tough time in my life.
GREAT SONG, DEEP MESSAGE 👌
Haven't heard this before, checking this out for the first time with you.
Initial impression, not digging on the song. Lyrics sound meaningful but I don't like how he sounds.
Dark Passenger? Have you read or watched Dexter before? That's what came to mind immediately. I love that character. If you're unfamiliar, know that it's a very dark show/story. Very entertaining though!
Continuing with the song, I'm digging on these meaningful lyrics but I can't stand the music. It just ain't my thing. Still listening though!
That's a great story about your mother! I'm glad that you have people that comment on her and her impact on them. I trust that it means more than anything. That's the impact that I hope to leave on people after I'm gone. I hope to be remembered not for what I did in life but for what I've done for others.
I can see how much this song moved you! That's clear! These lyrics moved me by his performance didn't do it for me.
You're very inspirational! Thank you for creating these videos and spreading your positivity. It means an awful lot to me. Thank you.
I am a huge Dexter fan so that reference was intentional :)
Hey, we don't have to LOVE every song just because it's meaningful. I rather liked this one but there are many I just don't jive with.
@@MentalAmanda hahaha, that's great!
love this song
8:42 ... knowing the ripples that I make. Knowing that there are people care and love me for who I truly am. Just knowing makes it so much harder because I can't walk off the ledge. Wanting to give up but I can't. Im tired of fighting just to survive but I have to keep fighting. I wish I had the emotional energy right now to tell my story.
check out 'Still Breathing' by them
That's my current fav song
I've known people who did it to themselves. My problem is as bad as life gets i knkw I couldn't do it. My thing was running away wanting to go on the middle of the woods and disappear without a trace. I have my folks. Mom dad grandma who could give me a hug but I can never really tell them anything. I'm always the strong one who never cries always holds it together. My last gf was the only one who a hug made me feel human for the first time in my 21 years of life. Now 2 years later being Alone that kind of hug from a significant other is all I want in life. One day. Until then baby's like Citizen soldier keep my thoughts at bay.
Monday is my 2 year anniversary of my suicide attempt I'm grateful I'm still here and there have been zero attempt senses I'm still scared of the feelings I will fill but I know I have all of you who care I will be ok love all
Mate, you're not alone. You're still here, and believe it or not, the world is a better place for it. Took me a long time to fathom that one out. Stay strong
@@damiankynoch7724 much love brother love you💜
@@matthewmartin8293 Anytime dude. Love and respect
You very much do have us. Bad days will come, but you aren't alone and you can fill your happiness bank in the meantime so they don't hit QUITE as hard. Proud of you!
@@MentalAmanda thanks sweetheart your one of the reasons I'm grateful I'm still here 💙
Powerful song!!!!
You're right, due to being physically and mentally abused by my own parents everyday ever since i was 5 i became a silent person. I'm scared to interact especially to extroverts, i can't open my mouth in front of my parents due to the trauma and fear that i got, i can't show any emotions in front of them, my room is my only safe place. I've been crying everyday with bruises and blood all over my feet and hands. The only thing that makes me try hard to survive is my brother who's a special child, i've been thinking about what will happen to him if my parents grow old without no one to rely on. But sad to say, my brother's attitude changed towards me he became disgusted and didn't interract with me much. Now i'm just waiting for my time to die, i've been skipping meals non stop and having tons of sickness every month. :)
I'm just hoping to get an incurable cancer so i can finally rest in peace.
Are you still in this situation? I will personally help you and your brother get out.
That pretty much has described my entire life. I've pushed EVERYONE away and I feel alone now. It's rough because I don't feel like anyone really understands me....hell I don't even know if I understand myself. Package delivered to the wrong address...wow that makes SO much sense to me. When you said that I was thinking to myself that you are saying the right words but I just can't hear them. I don't know how to let down my guard and let the words come through.
I relate to this song in so many ways my depression constantly puts this thought in my head,. I suffer from severe depression and some days are harder than other days. But i don't ever want to give up i still have so much more to accomplish. Im getting my masters right now and i just passed my special education teacher certification. THis band is awsome and has allot of great song. THis is my first video and i like the message.
what i hear every day in my head. i cant sleep and because im different i get such negative words every day its all i feel
Your words remind me of two songs by Citizen Soldier. It calls "My Little Secret" and "Hand Me Down". I think you will love it when you feel always awake.
I'm different too. I used to hate myself for it. Now I am SO grateful because to be normal is to be average. Nobody wanted Cs in school. We shouldn't strive for it in life either. The only words that matter are the ones that you tell yourself. Your inner voice can be changed regardless of what people have told you or what tapes are stuck in your head!
@@MentalAmandaIm so sorry that you have to go through this and i heat you i really do I idk if you remember me telling you about my friend that ended her life a bit back but it has been so hard not to do it myself. I Just don't know how to think because the negativity is bad and so toxic that I cant escape the thoughts especially when i have been left broken mentally and physically and emotionally. Just driving along wondering how long would take if i jist let go of the wheel or drive off a bridge or just eat a bullet. Im trying do hard to make changes in my life and life style but just getting deeper and deeper in the abyss. Idk if i can take much more. We talked About losing my father AMD brother as well and the visions and heart wrenching Wont leave my mind.
@@MorganS89 Lifestyle is a great foundation, but the focus has to be on rewriting the tapes in your head that trigger these thoughts. Trauma therapy majorly helped me with a couple of my situations. Perhaps EMDR. You could access both online.
Very strong message from yourself at the end of Your video: You are your own knight who has to fight for yourself. Never heard words so true and clear. In the end that has been what helped me winning the fight over my depression some years ago. Noone can fight for You. You need to do it yourself. It´s hard but it pays off and it´s getting better over time. Thank You for what You´re doing here on youtube. Please continue. Greetings from Germany.
This one does hit home. I have been able to distance myself from the words now that use to start the darkness. I used to always hate the night after being divorced 3 times and staying alone because of the wrong people who were in it. I have family and kids and grandkids who love me which I think helps but I had to move away from my two daughters and the grandkids to help my mom and dad. My son lives with me which has helped but still missing the kidos and daughters. Recently my dad passed from Dementia/Altheimer's, but I can't go back to the kids yet because of my mom who is still with us. I get the feeling because my brother who has always with our parents will need help after that. Uggggg So I am trying hard to teach him to survive without mom but that's a hard one. I just have way too much on my plate for most to deal with, but I keep going. Still it nice to hear you talk which calms me and give me a great feeling. Thank you.
The first time I ever heard this song and this band I was ready to take a plunge off a parking garage, and a random stranger came up next to me, and played this song and just sat with me for hours while I broke down, that was the first time I ever felt that much compassion from another human, and too this day he still checks on me, it's amazing how much 1, just one interaction could make an impact on your life
You got a Chester too! This makes me so happy!
Finally more Citizen Soldier on the channel!! Of all the people that I would hope to see more reactions to Citizen Soldier for, yours are the ones I look forward too!! And this song specifically is one that I was hoping to see eventually!!
This song means so so so much to me. To be fair, almost all of Citizen Soldiers songs hold a very special place within me, but this song specifically is one that has been the knot that holds fast and doesn't let me go, even when I myself would rather let it all slip away.
Amazing reaction!! Loved all of your input and I hope you have yourself an awesome day!!
The first half of this track could me talking. I have gone months without my phone ringing or receiving a text message from anyone.
This makes me feel that if I do lose my fight and take my life that no one would notice as clearly I am not in anyones life or important enough to them for them to send a simple text saying "How are you?". I could be dead for months and no one would even know 😭😭
There’s always people who care. Contact through a phone is often just difficult, there’s just too many distractions. Please have a talk with someone, if not in person you can always call someone or text someone. Talking can help a lot.
I have friends that I don't call or text for months but I still very much love them and would be absolutely devastated if anything happened to them. And I'd be crushed if you lost your battle. We're here for you. I care if your light goes out. Email me anytime.
@@MentalAmanda I don't have Facebook or Instagram but I'm considering joining your Patreon so maybe I can reach out to you there
@@Brian-wq3qh I would very much appreciate it! We can chat either way.
This song was so helpful and emotional as a suicide survivor myself 😢❤
Thank you so much, Citizen Soldier!
Me too survived five suicide attempts and three years of self harm dont do that anymore keep shining your light and thank you amanda for being there
We all are here for you, Jamie.@@jamiegoddard562
@george castle we see you, and would miss you. Together we will hold you up, and before you know it, or even realize it, you will be helping to hold up someone else.
Good morning Amanda from Idaho...
I have some inspiring words for you and your subs.
I am a very "wear my emotions on my sleeves kind of guy. I love that I love emotional relationship & that God made this way.
Some people were "made" to be "apathetic" Or chose to be??
Anyway, I have come to learn...to chose to know those apathetic people are just as broken in their own ways. Most apathetic people never willfully chose to be what us emotional people think, is them being mean to us and/or trying to hurt us on purpose. They just don't know how to express what we need. So we get hurt, angry, heartbroken. Please chose to know you are valuable. I am OK!! YOU...ARE OK!!!
So my words are...if you have apathetic people in your lives...love them as you always have...and go look for new people to help reciprocate the love you give. We are out there. Let's keep fighting for our whole bodies health.
I love all of you.
Just a broken 53 year old man from Idaho. I am proud of each and every one of you. Have an awesome day!!
My favorite face-to-face because when we are face-to-face or something like a challenge or something or someone spiritual or real life, you can push him out of the way but that’s something only he can do what I mean by he someone I know very well and he’s able to help you out with anything. He is the one that created us
Revelations 1:8
I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.
Our Lord and savior the Messiah
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ gives us hope and faith in overcoming.
Citizen Soldier has a new song out. You should check it out. "I hate Myself". Awesome song.
Ive been sharing this book. But, please check out Alfred Gremslys book of poems title " Its all in my Head"! Its based on mental health issues and is fantastic!!!! Anyone struggling needs this book!!!
Thank you citizen soldier every song you create really hits home for me and I can relate in so many ways I thank Citizen Soldier for everything they do for people like myself
So something briefly kinda sorta vaguely touched on in this video that I think needs expanded upon because it's the one thing I keep seeing people struggle to grasp. All exchanges, interactions, and relationships require the input of 2 or more parties. So while I agree that you should distance yourself from people that make you feel terrible, the other side of that is you shouldn't feel terrible for the actions taken by others to begin with in the majority of situations (exception being things done to you). No one person (or system for that matter) is so precious you should keep beating yourself up to keep it in your life. It's this weird element of hyper individualism in western cultures that often makes us as individuals feel fully responsible for situations that have other acting agents, and it tends to manifest in a bizarre sense of secondhand guilt. In the vast majority of cases of all of everything no one individual caused any singular event to happen, so it makes no sense to put all the blame on 1 person (yourself included) because that is a lot of undue weight to carry. We're so burdened with our individualism and self importance that we don't ever take time to extrapolate why things happen beyond the immediate when in reality we have all of history compounding on every event that occurs. "Why" is an infinitely regressive question, but every step of the infinite regression turns over something that happened that led into the current event.
Amanda please react to NATHAN WAGNER
They're as equally as amazing and i rrally recommend you try reacting to "innonce" by them!
please check it out i wanna see your reaction!♥️♥️
Aside from the Linkin Park songs, Citizen Soldier also has the ability to completely break me with their songs, especially this one, and simultaneously keep healing me back up at the same time. It's a strange but great feeling and I'll be forever grateful for tracks like Would Anyone Care, because they make me feel like.. well, like someone is there and cares about my struggles.
Thank you to you as well, for talking about the things you brought up in this video. Truly, just.. thank you.
If youre stuck in the dark feeling alone,all you need is a light to see how many people are there with you.
Been in and out of therapy since I was 16. I'm almost 30 now. Went through every type of abuse you can imagine, Physical, emotional, sexua abusel by my biological father.
Lost family, friends and been abandoned by almost every single person I met, but I'm still fighting, I've found my place,I have two cats and am getting married to a wonderful kind caring beautiful woman who I would have never met if I had gone through with my plan at 18.
Hold on,there are people that love and care about you and want you to survive even if you can't see them.
I've been watching your videos for a little while now. I'd like to see you react to Bullet For my Valentine, No Way Out. It greatly explains how I felt only about a month ago. I'm glad I'm not anymore, but it was how I felt for months with my depression and something that can be related to. It is more heavy, fair warning. But the lyrics are what says the message
Another awesome song is "Inner Demons" by Julia Brennan. A song about our inner Demons we all fight every day,. Another good song is
Faith Marie "Antidote" and Chloe Adams "The Doctor Said".
I lost it all….I’d be better off gone….idk why I’m still here I’m so ready to leave!!!
Thank you for the good videos you bring all the time, I wish I had lots of friends like you
I wonder if anyone would care.. this song is exactly how i feel.. it's hard to take back your life when your own family puts you down, makes you feel so alone and worthless and a burden..
He wrote his first song in a mental hospital and is now a licensed therapist. My favorite songs are I'm Not Ok, and Reason to Live. Must listens!
I really think this month you should listen to these songs
Here are some citizen soldier songs you should listen to
Always December
Would anyone care
Still breathing
Stronger than my storm
Face to face
Scarecrow
Golden weather
Tattoos
Madhouse
My own miracle
Broken like me
Through hell
Afterlife
Wanted
Run away from myself
Pretend my pain away
Gunshot lullabies
First blood
Limit
Never ending nightmare
Reason to live
wired for worthless
Can you also react to these three Citizen Soldier songs;
Irreplaceable
Stronger than my storm
Hallelujah I'm not dead ?
Please react to - Words That Don't Exist also by Citizen Soldier it got me into tears same as this one...
This is the second time you've talked me off the ledge. For that I thank you.
Amanda I feel your subscribers would greatly benefit from your reaction to the song that saved my life twice : White Ghost by Bad Flower
This band really has kept me from suicide. They say for the most part say how I feel. Really love them
I stole this song from my bfs dads play list I have never related to a song more in my life I spent 12 years at depressions rock bottom bad ( suicidal thoughts) all of it I was saved by a 3 year old little girl then I met my spouse that I ended up marrying while she was dying in the icu and I went from wife to widow in 7 days (8/20/22) and I’m back at rock bottom I’m in a different relationship that started about 7 months after she passed and I was told that she sent this man to be with me but depression sucks and this song is amazing I have 3 I listen to when I’m at my lowest. This one, best I can by art of dying and tragedy+ time by rise against. Those are all my depression anthems! But thank you for calling attention to mental health not very many people do. I appreciate this so much and I have given you a subscribe. I’ll be watching more! 🩶
Ugghhh. Please play Alice in chains love hate love live at the Moore. Or nutshell. Please. Thank you.
When you get comments of " Do you wake up and decide to be a moody bitch?" Most mornings. It's getting more than I can take. I suffer from PTSD etc( way to may mental health problems to list) I had enough.
I know this is old and you'll probably never see this. The darker parts of this song are how I feel every single day of my life. I struggle constantly to find reasons to keep going and it's always getting harder to find them. I've dealt with this my whole life and now that I'm getting older and closer to the end anyway I just don't see the point anymore. I have no one and nothing in my life. I'm all alone and I know that no one would miss me or care. I would just be another statistic. No one would even know. I really don't know how much longer I have left. I know I probably need help but it's so far out of my reach. I just don't know.
Everybody Hurts by R.E.M. helped me immensely.