How to Move on from your Past Mistakes | How to Let Guilt, Shame & Regret Go! | Sadhguru Speaks
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มี.ค. 2022
- If you pick a significant number of people and ask them about their problems, their number one problem would be how to move on from your past mistakes or how to let guilt, shame & regret go in other words.
And this isn't the first time someone like Sadhguru is speaking on the matter of forgiveness and moving on from past mistakes, but I sure do feel he addresses questions like these in the most potent way in this video.
If you choose to watch the video till the very end you should have the answers to the questions like what to do if actions of the past are creating anxiety in you, how to avoid your past mistakes from haunting you, how to let go of past mistakes, regret, guilt, shame, etc.
I understand that some of you may not be able to watch the video till the very end, which is fine, let me relay in short in which direction Sadhguru is pointing at to resolve problems like these.
He points out that these problems exist because there has been no effort made in the direction of understanding what this fundamental entity called mind is.
And because there is no attention paid to it, it has caught on the habit of recycling the old material that you label as the past.
Your very effort to try to forget the past is what will keep the ills of the past alive. The very act of feeding the unconscious movement of the mind is what is referred to as attention.
You have to bring this attention to act by making it a point to feed this attention everyday via meditation.
This video can be your start, through his words, it is this attention that he wants you to bring into your life.
Therefore, watch the video till the very end.
#sadhguru #SadhguruMahashivratri2022 #sadhgurulatest
Do let me know on what topic you want me to create a video on next.
Take care of yourselves and I will see you at the next one!
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You cannot change the past, and most of the time, you cannot fix the past, but in this moment you can end the 'psychological content' that made the mistake. The very content that ruminates in the mind and causes the said regret and guilt. How does one do that? Simple. By not running away or distracting yourself from the regret or uncomfortable experience. Face it fully with a full heart, and you won't believe the beautiful freedom you get on the other side if you can patiently 'stay with yourselves'. Go easy on yourselves. You aren't alone. You never are. You just think you are :)
Don't stop posting man, you're doing great job, i really hope you make living out of it. You're doing service to god!
I gave up pursuing a sport I used to love (tennis). Because my parents said I was a bad at sports-- which was true. My reflexes are slower and my vision is blurry from bad astigmatism. They always compared myself to other college students- specifically the ones that had trophies and were exceptional from young ages.
Fast forward to a year later, my father missed me for not playing tennis at his local court. And I told him that I gave up on that sport because I was bad. I couldn't imagine failing again.
It's been almost 6 years since I made the biggest mistake of my life while high on THC and psychotic and I still haven't forgiven myself. I love listening to Sadhguru because he provides comfort and wisdom, but his words are much easier than reality.
I don't know if I will ever be able to move on for what I did and the people I hurt, pushing them away from me. And I've learnt to understand them and hate myself for my mistakes. I've fundamentally changed a lot, physically, mentally and emotionally and tried to bury that mistake to never EVER do something like that again but it's such a burden. Always on my back, pressuring me, reminding me of what I did. I don't know if I will ever be able to move on and find peace with myself.
Sometimes, compassion is too much to handle.
I agree with you. Given the number of people Sadhguru addresses each day, I know he isn't getting into the nuances of pain points that individuals go through. But I get it. It is bound to happen when someone is addressing people at such a large scale. However, that is one of the reasons I started this channel and also my own personal channel to get into the nuances of individual problem.
So my friend let me get totally direct with you. The mistakes that we get doesn't matter how big or how small are facts, you cannot deny them, you cannot look away from them. The more you deny them the more bigger they get in the psyche and tend to rule our life and our mental processes from within. This is because these events in the form of memory gets physically wired into our psyche. They become a part of our identity, they become apart of our Karma.
I want to give you an easy solution but there isn't however, that doesn't mean there is no solution.
Here is what you need to do. Whenever painful thoughts arise associated with these painful memories, don't make the mistake of trying to suppress them, or find an escape.
You need to counter these thoughts by saying to them, I give you eternal space in my psyche. I know this sounds counter-intuitive but try for yourselves. Whenever painful thoughts spring up, STOP and give them all the space to exist, to express themselves in your psyche without trying to psychologically manipulate them into something they are not.
And the immediate next thing that you need to do is doing what matters most in this moment, whether it be doing your groceries, studying, building a business, earning money, or taking care of your children.
This is the discipline you need to follow for at least 3 months. I promise you in 6 months you will be a completely new person.
@@evolutioncounty Thank you.
My children have a father who abandoned them to marry someone and help her raise her kids. My kids visited them and they did their best to unify everyone but they did it in a dishonest way, by pretending not by naming things as they were and as they happened. Even now my children’s father is in denial about what he did. He talks about it as if he didn’t make the choice but had no choice, taking all the power away from himself and also all ability to face what he did and move forward to (not change the past but, be honest about his mistake and be a better man and father. Slowly over the years he is suffering more and more. I think it is eating away at him but he refuses to acknowledge, to truly be contrite, because he cannot even allow himself to see himself. Those of us that he hurts, despite the pain, wish he would just be better, so as to “make up” for the pain he caused. Not directly but it would at least do something positive. I’ve done wrong too. Everyone has. It scales and of course the bigger the wrong then the more people that get hurt. And it hurts us to hurt, no matter the circumstances. Please, be well and sober and face what you have done and then become a better person. A strong person. Justify the suffering that LIFE IS by making goods things happen and seeing beauty. We can’t undo the bad we have done but we can do good and be better
Visit his ashram takes some of the classes available.@@evolutioncounty
I feel incredibly guilty for having harmed myself and my loved ones when I was in psychosis. My delusions twisted reality for me and I did things I would never ever do otherwise. I deeply regret what I've done. I keep replaying the scenarios again and again. What if I did this this way or that . What if I simply didn't go to that place that day. What if I changed settings. A small change would have changed so much. I wish so bitterly I could go back in time.
You were not you at the time, your mind was poorly. There is nothing to forgive.
We *all* make mistakes, we all have shortcomings, we all act immorally at times. When you enter psychosis, you lose significant (if not all) control over yourself and your mind. I have only ever suffered one severe psychotic episode with hallucinations, but s someone with borderline personality disorder I know how it feels to not be in complete control of yourself. One thing that can be helpful is to imagine yourself as a loved one telling you that they feel guilty about the same events you feel guilty about. What would you say to them? How would you feel? It can be very difficult, but we must practice showing ourselves the same grace and compassion we would show others. I hope this helps, and I hope you find peace. ❤
Don’t think to go back to that time. When you lose contact with reality, again you might do the same thing or even worse when u go back to that time. It is not ur fault. As everyone understood you, you have to let it go.
I have done similar things after being in psychosis after taking an antidepressant and not knowing I had bipolar disorder. My life has never been the same. Go easy on yourself, we weren't ourselves.
Me too. I wish I could change the past almost every day.
Thanks Sadhguru
I have big regret for not understanting earlier what i wanted to be in life, i understanded it only few years ago. Now it's late for me (im 30 yo) to express my full potential on something i should've started young (sport particularly) and im obesessed over the image of what could've been if i would did it, that image of my ideal self that i can never reach at this point.
I wish I had known back then what I know today, so as to be closer today to that ideal self that I am obsessed with...
Hi there bro. What are you doing currently?
@@evolutioncounty graduating in physioterapy and training martial arts (this last thing is what i regret the most not doing from my childhood). Why do you ask me? 🙂
@@evolutioncounty ?? 😅
Hi, Im struggling with deep rooted problem,,, how can we overcome from it ?
@@e-learningplatform6609 I’m sorry to hear you are suffering from a deep rooted problem, know you are not alone as many of us do live with a deep rooted problem and it’s still possible to live a happy life. If your deep rooted problem has been caused by someone doing something that hurt you in the past, accept that person’s action was wrong, but I’m sure they would never intentionally want to make you suffer. Human beings sometimes do terrible things, but that’s in the past and it won’t happen again. When we get hurt by others we learn to become more compassionate towards others, we’re kinder and ultimately we become better, more tolerant and understanding. Therefore, our past hurts are seen as lessons which happen to teach us a great deal about ourselves and we grow better and wiser.
To overcome a deep rooted problem we first have to accept it happened, ‘that happened to me, but it wasn’t my fault, I was just a child and I’m not responsible for someone else’s actions’ Accept what has happened and don’t fight it. Sometimes people do things because they don’t know any better, they simply do not have the knowledge to see the harm they are doing to another person. It’s not for us to judge them, leave that to karma, leave that to life, at some time in the future something will happen and their world will collapse and they will be hurt and when that happens they will learn from it. But, you are not responsible for correcting another’s bad behaviour, you are here to learn, to heal from life’s sufferings and most importantly you are here to be happy.
If your deep rooted problem causes you to feel guilt, anxious or depressed, then you need to Google; Wiki how to resolve guilt/anxiety /depression, there is a lot of good advice. If your deep rooted problem is caused by childhood wounds google; Pete Gerlach and follow the links to resolve any children wounds, addiction and other problems. Finally, on utube ‘The mindful movement’ offer many healing meditations to overcome deep rooted problems.
Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual healer, I would recommend listening to his Utube videos too. You can overcome any problem, pray to God to take this problem from you, ask for a miracle, miracles happen but you need to ask God first, to take this burden from you and deal with if for the best outcome for all.
You can do this, do what you love to do every day. Important; as you are healing, when something happens to upset you, you need to do five things that make you happy, they don’t need to be big things, but things you enjoy ie listen to some music you like, go for a walk, have a chat with a friend etc anything positive. Good luck, hope this helps 🙏
I have some regrets about being an idiotic pleasure-pursuing bastard, missing financial opportunities that could change the course of my family's destiny. Not valuing my health - mental and physical - when I valued my finances and some silly crypto investments is killing me in regrets more than the missed opportunity to make a few thousand. Wish I was a better man In general. I'm only 17, atleast I'm happy to have an incredible father and mother who genuinely support me, thankful to Sadhguru, hopefully will take a Sannidhi home in the next few months and hopefully that will transform our family's life for ever, will strive for that and then next goal is to go to IYC in Coimbatore as I live in Bulgaria and it's quite expensive to travel. I have tortured myself long enough in this life, time to stop and let Sadhguru's grace take over. Past regrets hurt but like he says - may something that you have not even dreamed of come true, not your silly dreams and ambitions 🙏🏼🙏🏼, still struggling, hopefully everything will become better soon for my family as a whole as well
Thanks for the ❤️ 🙏🏼
Are you fit?
Ride with the waves
You learn/grow
Foc on soln
I had an opportunity to buy a dream home. I did not react fast enough and lost it. I really loved it and cried for weeks. I know I am human and can mistakes but it has hard bc I feel
Bad for my kids.
I with billions of others remain to be struggling to awaken ISO spiritual rescue
Hey great work man!
I really really needed it badly
Thank you very much bruvv...
You are most welcome my brother. Welcome to EC :)
Wow ❤
I was just reminded of something i did when my daughter was two years old. It was over seven years ago. Im going through a healing process and alot of things are coming to the surface. Some things i take complete accountability for and some things were done to me. However it seems like I can let go of what others have done to me but when i do something it gets blown out of proportion. Now i take responsibility for my actions but its like other people try to hurt me with it and its really hurting my soul. I don't know what else to do or say anymore. Im just tired of people hurting me with it
F!ck them seriously...I have gone through this,never ending cycle of apologies but we forgive them for our peace but they take advantage and keep hurting. Face all those feelings, they won't come to save you,be selfish
I am regretting not moving forward from a place earlier now I have a sickness because of that and feel incredibly guilty for that
Hey dear, listen. The thing that you need to realize is this thing called guilt is the mind's trick to keep itself alive you see. Alive in the sense in a very cyclical form it keeps ruminating on past acts. This is NOT mental action but the mind thinks it is because it feels it will take it somewhere. It won't. And the more you resist the cycle the more powerful the cyclical pattern gets. The first thing is to remove yourself from the vicinity of the person, place, or thing that causes the cycle to come up. The next thing is to observe the pattern when you sit to meditate and see the cyclical pattern to its end through the light of your heart. Be very gentle with yourself and see the pattern to its fulness. That's what death is and it is the most beautiful thing.
Yes thats true
Welcome to EC :)
I regret not doing shambhavi for the second time yesterday
Because of my lack of understandability I messed my sister peacefulness.. everyone including my sister is asking me to leave her alone for some months or days.
I want to be with mys sister and apologise her and she should accept me, then I can protect her..
I don't know how to rectify please anyone suggest what should I do?
I wish to go back on time when i fought with my sisters last year on 26th may 2022 and have been repeating blunders before losing temper all the time calling them bad words. I wish i hadnt done that. My sisters not getting along with me . Its been a year they didnt mingle with me. I regreted a lot. I wish to go back on time.
It's impossible to go back in time. It's hard, but if you want to heal, you must change.
I myself know this very well. I still can't forgive me but I've changed in every aspect trying to be better and overcome that mistake.
Maybe the ones we hurt won't forgive us, not even after fundamentally changing everything we did wrong. Because the past can't be changed.
But at least we tried, and that's better than nothing.
I hope you're doing better.
I wish all the time that I could go back in time and fix all my mistakes I did some really bad things I hurt people I regret it so much.. I don't have anyone really to talk about it to except myself I hate myself for my immature actions.. but we can't change what has been done we can only change in the future change ourselves forgive ourselves even if the person affected doesn't forgive us we have to move on and change ourselves for the better..
What if one mistake have legal repercution but you are actually a good person there is no evil in you, you are pure love but you cant change that situation or show up what you did because that will harm you and people around you. Nothing crazy like killing or any hard situation like that Im talking about... but a mistake that is legal repercuted, we should move on or we have to be strict to what the law is no matter nothing. Because the guilt can be very painful, we can forgive ourselves but, what about law?
Just do not escalate the situation in any way. If you know that your involvement will harm others, then just do not harm anyone including yourself. Calm yourself. And pray to God, that whatever happens, happens for the best.
And yes smile 😊
@@arpitgoyal6518 Thank you sir, I didnt reply to your message but I have readed it, and yes... it can be painfull because it is a legal thing so its like yes I can forgive me but the logic says another thing, have you had that in sometime?
@@Mauricioa1096 Logic/mind tells us many things. But I guess it's better to be calm and let things happen there way. We can only take action at the right opportunity.
You need a psychiatric
😊
He didn’t answer the question. The question was regarding a past mistake, something you regret, and how to overcome the pain and sorrow that your action hurt someone else. I understand the question, but the answer was regarding life expectations and that’s not the same thing. I thing there was lack of understanding the question.
@angelh8262 I totally agree with you, if our actions has hurt someone ...when we realize that we are always digging into that mistake and making our self guilty every single day for that...I have been in this situation from last 3 years and still Don't know how to get over this
@@ankitaverma3192 I am just going through similar. I think there comes a time we have to stop punishing ourselves. If we did something at the time, that was all we knew or were capable off or perhaps we were not enlighten enough and our humanness got the best of the situation we were in. Mistakes and missteps happen. It is good to take responsibility for our actions and feel sorry. But at a point in our life we have to learn to move on, because if we are walking around wounded, we will continue to wound people around us. We wont be able to give 100 percent of joy or anything in life. The best is to one day stop torturing ourselves and give the same grace we give others to ourselves. If you are able to apologize or correct the mistake that would be a gift, but if that is not possible we have live less in the past and learn and get living. I hope to get there too.
People oftentimes don't understand Sadhguru's answers to questions because of his objective in answering these questions. Imagine that most of the questions from people in unconscious levels of experience as the 'fruit' of a tree. Sadhguru always looks to address the question in a way that focuses on the 'root' of the tree instead of the fruit.
Most people find that their problems are cyclical in nature because they are prescribing context to their problems individually, instead of looking at the *nature* of their problems holistically. If you address the roots of the tree, it'll grow and bear fruit. If you stare at rotting fruits while the tree is rotting from the roots, you might get new fruits, but it won't stop rotting because the roots are the source :)
@@alfrancis8Thank you 🙏🏻
@@ankitaverma3192 you're not alone. It's been 6 years since I fcked up and I can tell you, there's not a single day I don't feel guilt or shame for that mistake. I wish I could change the past, prevent that failure. But I still have no answers. Just a burden every time I wake up, a reminder of the people I hurt. I wish I knew how to overcome this. I just don't have the answer. Have you, perhaps, grown to find out?
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Dub in Hindi please
What if our guilt comes from the real events not only imaginations :( can we truly forgive ourselves?
Its not about forgiving, its about seeing a bigger picture.
If he's not in the group, then how can he speak on it? I remember when I wasn't in the group and now I'm in the group. Listen to people who been through it.
Nice video
Thank you Sumathy. Welcome to EC :)
I literally feel very gulity for wasting my sisters money for a stupid thing also losing a lot bcoz pf foolish mistakes, I hope i can move on from this instead of crying right now
What's your age ?
@shivansh
@shivansh2812
You need a psychiatric
He doesn’t really answer the Q. Nevertheless i get it. I regret I never had the opportunity to do a career I wanted and followed someone else into a career I never liked and have no passion for. I am too old and do not have energy to start again. I know it’s a bad way to view life, bc it is not the most important thing - and i should not be hard on myself as I was t given the opportunities growing up. It can also be cleaning toilets for low pay which it is not.
He did answer the question, maybe not directly, but from his own approach. Things didn't happen the way we expected. That's his decision. And I respect it, because his answer was better than what I could of expected.
He adressed a much deeper flaw than my past mistakes, or not being able to forgive myself.
Fundamentally, one must change to overcome the guilt. If you always poison yourself with guilt, why should it disappear? Why would you forgive yourself when you haven't even begin to understand why you feel this way? You're on a cycle, and it must break.
You must change. It's the natural thing to do. Start focusing on all of the good things. And life will show it's way eventually.
What if its bad as getting someone pregnant on accident and now u have to face the consequences of paying child support? 😒
@@comedystartup condom breaking is accident u dumb human
accept it and face the consequences
@@undercover444 your right
It is not really a consequence. That child needs clothes and food. Do it or don’t.
then take the responsibility and pay for it. spend time with your kid too
Sadhguru is good at b.s. In practice, it's another story.
Blabla