I really appreciate John doubling down on his stance on babies and kids being ignored and given screens for hours a day. I don't have any kids (yet) but I'm so scared to become one of those parents that relies on screens
I love her! The first caller! She is going places! Like I feel a great positive energy, there’s just something about her! I can’t wait to hear from her again and what she’s doing with her new life and her husband’s life and future babies!!!
The something about her is that she claims to have already felt like a burden financially and effort wise “due to her illness” but then she also went on to have this many kids in so few years while wanting a husband home more… Dude is working two jobs lmao while she complains about not having his time. If she wanted more of his time then why have kids in this way? I’m sure he did not tell her or hope for her to have kids like this……
One thing that helped me overcome bad habits is to think about my progress like a line graph. If I go 10 days without it, and cave and do it once, that doesn’t mean I hit the floor and start back at 0. It means I had one bad day and 10 good days. Trajectory thinking really impacted my thinking to seek long term/daily change.
@@greeneyes2256hey thanks! I learned that trajectory isn’t just one day or one month. It’s a lifetime! I feel like I’m making dents of progress, but progress nonetheless!
Something just occurred to me. John has to gather information from callers about the issues. When the questions reveal private information, especially medical, like when he asked if the young suicidal woman had a pyschiatric diagnosis. Does this become a HIPPA violation?
I had to wait a year to get divorced with two small children, that turned into four years separated. Eastern state. I was told the law was better for the children if parents could stay together This was over a decade ago.
Talking about being adults for a year, not ruining each other’s lives. I have to say, I am blessed to have the husband that I do/did. He moved out recently, but we have not started the divorce process yet. He has some thing he needs to sort out before he will have the energy to do that, and I think if I were in his shoes, I would need the same time. I don’t know if it will take a year - probably not. But in the meantime, he is already paying child support, all on his own. He and I still talk about the kids, and sometimes we even talk about non-kids stuff. We’re actually becoming kind of good friends again. at least casual friends. That said, there was never any infidelity or abuse. Either of those would’ve made our situation very different from what it is. I’m sad there is going to be a divorce, but I have grieved, and I am ready to move forward. I mean, I am moving forward. I’m supporting myself, starting and growing a business, making sure my kids eat, things like that. I really do hope that the process starts before 12 months; that’s an awful long timeto drag things out, especially since we already had an MH separation that lasted over a year.
Whoooooo. For the woman whos daughter attempted to u alive herself... the new kid same knick name thing! My parents divorced when I was 18. I was ALWAYS super close to my dad. He wasn't an alcoholic but to say that he didnt treat my mom well would be an understatement. My dad and I lived together as roommates until I was about 28 or 29. He helped me raise my 2 boys. There were hick ups down that road, for sure, but I'm thankful for his help. He had a heart attack on a Sunday morning, went to the hospital, and ended up married to a woman he worked with about 3 months later who was 3 years younger than me. They had 2 more children, and I finally got a baby sister. But he calls my sister all the names he used to call me. He changed my sister's diapers, and fed her bottles. He cleaned the house, watched the kids, and cooked dinner for his 2nd wife and their new family. And it hurt sooooo badly to see him do that. It wasn't that I was jealous, exactly, it was "why couldn't he have loved our mom and us that way? Why were we less important?" I'm 42 years old, my baby brother is 11, almost 12, and my sister is 10. I still feel sad sometimes about it, AND I low key feel as though my kids got cheated out of my dad being their grandpa because he was so busy being the dad he wasn't for my brothers and I. The pain dulls, but doesn't go completely away, with time. I still love my dad. He's still one of my best friends, and THANK GOD he listened when I told him how it made me feel when he wasn't there and is trying to correct that in his other kids. It's AND both, as Dr D likes to say.
You said you lived with him and he helped raise your kids but then go on to say they missed out on him being a grandpa because he had more kids himself later. He was a figure in your kids life if you lived with him and he helped you raise them? You are doubling down here with him not being a grandpa due to these younger kids of his? Some of us had grandparents who didn’t help raise us and weren’t grandparents when we were adults either. You’re upset about how he was in your childhood which was valid but you also say you were always close? He got better clearly by living with you and helping raise your kids… Sounds like your mother is the one who got the shortest end of the stick no? Because you lived together and he tried to help you/be with your children for you? The past is still there, you are upset about your childhood not your kids it seems like. Is he completely ignoring your kids now? Did he start when he first had those kids? My fiancé’s dad was not present at all… His parents divorced and he moved out. He still is not present with them or my fiancé’s siblings and their kids…. But moved a girlfriend in and now grandparents her grandchildren! He spends all of his time with her grandkids. Weekends, birthdays, big family vacations… It’s hard to watch! We have gone no contact after speaking to him… Even just speaking to him about it all and fully acknowledging the whole idea, my fiancé said felt like such and violation for him and so insulting. It was like one more massive act of abuse and neglect. I feel for all kids who have to feel slighted in this way by their parents or grandparents. I’m sorry you and your kids experienced this also.
Could you please edit the thing about child abuse and neglect and ipad babysitters into a short? This is so, so VITAL. I genuinely despair over what we're doing to kids today. they're gonna be so messed up.
For the caller saying she gets the "leftovers" of her husband... here's an idea, stop having kids. you already have 4 and you GO TO WORK so that the financial load can be more equal, then maybe your husband will be more present. You have 4 kids and tell him/society pushes him to fully financially provide for a family that big... that's gonna be a lot of work and a lot of stress. And he thinks that he is loving you by working like a dog, not by being "fully present".
Are you kidding? Your advice is about 5 years too late for this young mom. Her husband had an equal decision in growing their family, yet none of your comments are directed toward admonishing him. The family cannot afford for the mom to work until all the kids are in school. If the mom hasn't had post high school training or college the income she would bring in would be countered by the money spent on help with cleaning, laundry, after school child care, occasional take out food, and more. There is much more involved than the thoughts I have listed. The couple should plan for mom to go to college part-time so that by the time the oldest child is in high school, she will have a professional job to help with the family income and allow their children a higher education. (Many farmers I know have 4-year college degrees.) There is so much more involved than even the obvious challenges I have listed!
Jesus Christ is known to have said adults should behold children. I'm sure that was not just for the children's sake, but for the adults' sake! Just as Elizabeth here discovered that just trying something was so beneficial, and sooner and better than she expected, whenever an adult spends time just trying to watch and look at and make eye contact with and communicate with and learn something about and learn something from a child, that adult gets a benefit, and sooner and better than we would expect.
Yep! 6 months for divorce to go through in California. You can file right away, but even if the paperwork is completed, it can't be finalized before then. In practice, many divorces take longer than that to get all the paperwork filed, especially if there are assets and kids.
That's what I'm wondering as well. John has said himself that he rarely uses CBD oil which is different than smoking weed but still. Also, he's found no negative things about weed from what I remember from another call but this is a very special case where weed was the actual crutch for that woman. I don't think John himself thinks weed is bad.
This woman literally just described how she was using it as an antidepressant but it was masking the problems and keeping her from actually learning coping mechanisms to deal with her life. She told you what was wrong with it for her.
I really appreciate John doubling down on his stance on babies and kids being ignored and given screens for hours a day. I don't have any kids (yet) but I'm so scared to become one of those parents that relies on screens
Yes!!!!!! Elizabeth!!!! Congrats!!!!!
I love her! The first caller! She is going places! Like I feel a great positive energy, there’s just something about her! I can’t wait to hear from her again and what she’s doing with her new life and her husband’s life and future babies!!!
Jeez calm down she doesn’t need a stalker.
@@DeathSpellXVIa positive stalker for growth. 😂
The something about her is that she claims to have already felt like a burden financially and effort wise “due to her illness” but then she also went on to have this many kids in so few years while wanting a husband home more… Dude is working two jobs lmao while she complains about not having his time. If she wanted more of his time then why have kids in this way? I’m sure he did not tell her or hope for her to have kids like this……
One thing that helped me overcome bad habits is to think about my progress like a line graph.
If I go 10 days without it, and cave and do it once, that doesn’t mean I hit the floor and start back at 0. It means I had one bad day and 10 good days.
Trajectory thinking really impacted my thinking to seek long term/daily change.
I’m a year later, but you’ve got this!
@@greeneyes2256hey thanks! I learned that trajectory isn’t just one day or one month. It’s a lifetime! I feel like I’m making dents of progress, but progress nonetheless!
Really enjoying the follow up calls. Keep them coming!
I’m so proud of the first caller ❤️ girl you made my whole day! We are all so happy for you!
I’m inspired! Started 75 Hard challenge today!!
Elizabeth and SO are amazing! Keep going!
Thank-you first caller your very inspiring 🌻💕
Fascinating! Awesome Elisabeth!
Something just occurred to me. John has to gather information from callers about the issues. When the questions reveal private information, especially medical, like when he asked if the young suicidal woman had a pyschiatric diagnosis. Does this become a HIPPA violation?
The information is being freely given, no names are being used, we have no clue who these people are… So no…
It's that way in NC. You have to wait a year.
Lol "'John' is a great name, just saying" That's ridiculous but also totally appropriate for Dr Deloney
Love John's shirt! Great episode also!
I am in Ukraine, I stopped and 👏 👏 👏 💋
I had to wait a year to get divorced with two small children, that turned into four years separated. Eastern state. I was told the law was better for the children if parents could stay together This was over a decade ago.
Dr John’s cynical jokes - bewildered he’s changed someone’s life - classic 😂👏
That year is clinically insane!! And it ended up taking over 18 months before it was final...and that was pre-C19 craziness!!
Lauren is super based
Talking about being adults for a year, not ruining each other’s lives. I have to say, I am blessed to have the husband that I do/did. He moved out recently, but we have not started the divorce process yet. He has some thing he needs to sort out before he will have the energy to do that, and I think if I were in his shoes, I would need the same time. I don’t know if it will take a year - probably not. But in the meantime, he is already paying child support, all on his own. He and I still talk about the kids, and sometimes we even talk about non-kids stuff. We’re actually becoming kind of good friends again. at least casual friends. That said, there was never any infidelity or abuse. Either of those would’ve made our situation very different from what it is. I’m sad there is going to be a divorce, but I have grieved, and I am ready to move forward. I mean, I am moving forward. I’m supporting myself, starting and growing a business, making sure my kids eat, things like that. I really do hope that the process starts before 12 months; that’s an awful long timeto drag things out, especially since we already had an MH separation that lasted over a year.
Whoooooo. For the woman whos daughter attempted to u alive herself... the new kid same knick name thing!
My parents divorced when I was 18. I was ALWAYS super close to my dad. He wasn't an alcoholic but to say that he didnt treat my mom well would be an understatement. My dad and I lived together as roommates until I was about 28 or 29. He helped me raise my 2 boys. There were hick ups down that road, for sure, but I'm thankful for his help. He had a heart attack on a Sunday morning, went to the hospital, and ended up married to a woman he worked with about 3 months later who was 3 years younger than me.
They had 2 more children, and I finally got a baby sister. But he calls my sister all the names he used to call me. He changed my sister's diapers, and fed her bottles. He cleaned the house, watched the kids, and cooked dinner for his 2nd wife and their new family. And it hurt sooooo badly to see him do that. It wasn't that I was jealous, exactly, it was "why couldn't he have loved our mom and us that way? Why were we less important?" I'm 42 years old, my baby brother is 11, almost 12, and my sister is 10. I still feel sad sometimes about it, AND I low key feel as though my kids got cheated out of my dad being their grandpa because he was so busy being the dad he wasn't for my brothers and I.
The pain dulls, but doesn't go completely away, with time. I still love my dad. He's still one of my best friends, and THANK GOD he listened when I told him how it made me feel when he wasn't there and is trying to correct that in his other kids. It's AND both, as Dr D likes to say.
You said you lived with him and he helped raise your kids but then go on to say they missed out on him being a grandpa because he had more kids himself later. He was a figure in your kids life if you lived with him and he helped you raise them? You are doubling down here with him not being a grandpa due to these younger kids of his? Some of us had grandparents who didn’t help raise us and weren’t grandparents when we were adults either. You’re upset about how he was in your childhood which was valid but you also say you were always close? He got better clearly by living with you and helping raise your kids… Sounds like your mother is the one who got the shortest end of the stick no? Because you lived together and he tried to help you/be with your children for you? The past is still there, you are upset about your childhood not your kids it seems like. Is he completely ignoring your kids now? Did he start when he first had those kids? My fiancé’s dad was not present at all… His parents divorced and he moved out. He still is not present with them or my fiancé’s siblings and their kids…. But moved a girlfriend in and now grandparents her grandchildren! He spends all of his time with her grandkids. Weekends, birthdays, big family vacations… It’s hard to watch! We have gone no contact after speaking to him… Even just speaking to him about it all and fully acknowledging the whole idea, my fiancé said felt like such and violation for him and so insulting. It was like one more massive act of abuse and neglect. I feel for all kids who have to feel slighted in this way by their parents or grandparents. I’m sorry you and your kids experienced this also.
Could you please edit the thing about child abuse and neglect and ipad babysitters into a short? This is so, so VITAL. I genuinely despair over what we're doing to kids today. they're gonna be so messed up.
For the caller saying she gets the "leftovers" of her husband... here's an idea, stop having kids. you already have 4 and you GO TO WORK so that the financial load can be more equal, then maybe your husband will be more present. You have 4 kids and tell him/society pushes him to fully financially provide for a family that big... that's gonna be a lot of work and a lot of stress. And he thinks that he is loving you by working like a dog, not by being "fully present".
Yeah, that guy had my sympathies. Oof.
Are you kidding? Your advice is about 5 years too late for this young mom. Her husband had an equal decision in growing their family, yet none of your comments are directed toward admonishing him.
The family cannot afford for the mom to work until all the kids are in school. If the mom hasn't had post high school training or college the income she would bring in would be countered by the money spent on help with cleaning, laundry, after school child care, occasional take out food, and more. There is much more involved than the thoughts I have listed. The couple should plan for mom to go to college part-time so that by the time the oldest child is in high school, she will have a professional job to help with the family income and allow their children a higher education. (Many farmers I know have 4-year college degrees.) There is so much more involved than even the obvious challenges I have listed!
A baby concieved under that separation, in some states, will still be the legal child of the husband, even if the paternity test shows differently.
Jesus Christ is known to have said adults should behold children. I'm sure that was not just for the children's sake, but for the adults' sake! Just as Elizabeth here discovered that just trying something was so beneficial, and sooner and better than she expected, whenever an adult spends time just trying to watch and look at and make eye contact with and communicate with and learn something about and learn something from a child, that adult gets a benefit, and sooner and better than we would expect.
To the mom of the girl attempting suicide… goodness OWN IT lady.
A psych nurse and didn’t even know her daughter’s diagnosis. ??
Yep! 6 months for divorce to go through in California. You can file right away, but even if the paperwork is completed, it can't be finalized before then. In practice, many divorces take longer than that to get all the paperwork filed, especially if there are assets and kids.
36:00
can the farmer and his wife hire some help, so the husband can have more time with the wife and kids?
I got leftovers again, so I left
👏🙌🙌👏🙌🙌🙌👏
Congratulations Elizabeth !
Whooo hooo
What’s wrong with weed? If used responsibly. It’s a lot better then anti depression medication.
That's what I'm wondering as well. John has said himself that he rarely uses CBD oil which is different than smoking weed but still. Also, he's found no negative things about weed from what I remember from another call but this is a very special case where weed was the actual crutch for that woman. I don't think John himself thinks weed is bad.
This woman literally just described how she was using it as an antidepressant but it was masking the problems and keeping her from actually learning coping mechanisms to deal with her life. She told you what was wrong with it for her.
‘I wanted to get high after talking to you’
I want to get high after listening to this garbage!
You don’t have to listen… and you don’t have to spread negativity. There’s enough of it in this world. I hope you have a better day.
I’m Cali it’s 6 months