Do Women Get Plastic Surgery For Themselves OR For The Male Gaze?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- As everything from BBLs to B Augmentation & Lip Jobs become more popular, much of the discourse surrounding surgery is centered around "feeling good about ourselves"... But is it really true?
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Stop blaming hip hop for them wanting to get surgery. Hip hop is something foundational black Americans created to get out of the hood and speak on the hardships that goes on in the hood. You tethers always lie and think youre smart. Stop speaking on stuff you dont know.
Not only is HipHop to blame for the obsession with ass, its also largely to blame for why black women constantly feel like their bodies dont live up to the video vixen stereotype. Some folks wanna white wash hip hop "its to get out of the hood" yeah... and many did it by rapping about fat asses, gangbanging, the many crimes they committed. You can love hip hop and also acknowledge that much of it glorifies the worst parts of the culture. Or you can carry on being a clown whilst folks kill each other over lyrics in a diss track.
Dawg you can be a fan of rap if you want, but don’t lie to yourself or to others about the essence of the rap game nowadays. Yes there are Christian rappers and rappers who exclusively rap about hardships and generally morally good things. But the vast majority of rap nowadays is centered around being a degenerate and being proud of it. It’s all about sex, drugs and crime nowadays. The rap culture promotes degenerate activities. Whether it’s Sexy Redd tellin the ladies to bend their ass over and let they coochies breathe or Future rappin about his drug abuse habits with lean or polo g talkin about his gang affiliation or YNW Melly makin a whole song about killing a guy in cold blood. It’s not about getting out the hood. If it’s about getting out the hood, then where does degeneracy come into it? Do you have to be a degenerate to get out of the hood? Is that what you believe? You okay with selling your soul into degeneracy for money and clout? You gonna tell that to ya mama? Tell her straight to her face that you’ve given up on being a good man and would instead rather promote drugs, crime and sex to the younger generations. We can see the problems this rap culture causes. Juice WRLD admitted he started taking lean cause Future glorified it in his music. And now he’s dead from a drug overdose. Be a fan of rap if you want. it’s not anyone else’s job to tell you what to listen to. But be real about it. Don’t act like it isn’t a genre centered around glorifying degeneracy today because that is exactly what it has become.
The pin of ahh shit here we go again
Brother have you listened to any kind of modern rap/hip hop? Majority of the time they talking about a woman with a phat ass.
Don't get it twisted I love hip hop and rap, but I'm not in any way delusional about this.
Pin of shame ~~learn to use your brain
Insecurity is the strongest selling point in America, I think that's why bullying and narcissism is so subtly supported in our culture.
Social Media is making it worse
They will say they don’t do it for men
But they will blame their “unrealistic beauty standards” on men and the patriarchy 😂
How tf
HELLO. Someone needs to make a video essay on the American psyche, and its unveiling of its unconsciousness and all its ugly character flaws
there is absolutely nothing wrong with bullying, and it happens all across the world. You're just mad because you get bullied for being a weeb.
There’s nothing wrong with bullying.
There’s something wrong with the bullied finally fighting back, however.
My sister got rhinoplasty because her entire life she thought she had a wide nose. She got it in secret and when we met for christmas no one noticed. She got upset we didnt think she looked better. I couldn't even tell, but i never thought it was big.
She just thought we all thought the same way she did about her appearance. Preach is right, people do this for "themselves" to fix what they perceive others think is bad or undesirable about them.
That's really funny...If u ask ur siblings to describe your face, I bet they won't be able to, same goes for your friends...When will people start to believe that nobody really cares bout those things.
@megatron3437 it's an ego thing. Most women have such an highly inflated ego from weirdos that never touched a women treating them like gods so of course there going to act like everyone cares for them. Qhy because on the internet a bunch of 1s and 3s liked their booty pic. So of course that means their a 10/10.
It's why the worst thing to call a woman is fat. Because they don't care if people like them. Just as long as people think their cute.
Preach is almost always right lol
Same thing happened with my cousin. 11 years later we are still trying to figure out what changed. We tell her she got ripped off. 😂
people care too much about how others perceive them, it's natural but you don't get surgery just because of that. it really shows the weakness of character and lack of purpose that much of our society has. if all you want to do in life is to look good in front of others and attract beautiful people, of course you'll find paying 200K on a procedure that "fixes" your nose , or any other part of your body as being worth it. people need to get off social media and find purpose. especially women as they are being affected the most with social media judgement in instagram, tiktok etc.
I wanted to get lipo when I was severely overweight. I decided not to because I realised that what I wanted was attention. I started working out to correct the consequences of my bad habits. I've lost almost 30 kilos so far and I'm not even near the fake body I wanted. I'll never be there and I'm fine with that. I'm so happy with the things my body can do now. It's helped my self-esteem and mental health the way plastic surgery could never have.
great job losing the weight. never say never :-)
@@xybersurfer Thank you very much ❤️
Good on you for putting in the work, really inspiring, keep it up : )
Heavy with good habits is a win-win in my book
Slow and steady wins the race.
1) Uploading everyday till the New Year so for all those lonely souls this holiday season, we gotchu! Merry Xmas
2) We should clarify that NOT ALL PLASTIC SURGERY Falls under the same umbrella. We're mainly talking about BBLs, breast augmentation, lip jobs/botox. Getting a breast reduction or removing excess skin aint the same so theres things we didnt say in the video that a worth highlighting.
Awesome!
I am not lonely but I enjoy your videos, thanks it’s very thoughtful 🥹
I'm not lonely, I'm just relationship deficient.
The answer to the video question, can it be both?
@@zippo5294you're lonely embrace it
As a woman I think that women get plastic surgery for everyone, not specifically for men, they get it because everyone will treat you better in society when you're prettier, men and women.
EDIT : Some lesbians do get plastic surgery, look up Jessy Bunny & Vienna
Yup
You find alien looking women attractive? 😂
Exactly. It’s to feel accepted.
it's a blackpill
The first part I'd agree with, there's an element of inter- and intra-sexual dynamics at play.
The second part is somewhat correct, you mean the false halo effect presumably. Though that isn't necessarily something you'd get from all plastic surgery e.g., then BBL is a Hip-Hop driven standard, it isn't going to get you much credit in some circles.
Edit: Merry Christmas! 😊
I got my nose done at 18 because my family all had their noses done as well. They pushed on me that my nose was ugly because of their own insecurities. My mom paid for my plastic surgery. That being said, I don’t regret plastic surgery. I feel confident in my looks. If I still had my old nose, I’d probably still think it’s ugly because my mind is still warped from my family’s standards
Your family is weird.
I’m sorry that they pushed their insecurities onto you. For what it’s worth your nose looks nice.
Now I wanna see before and after pics.
@@Cremesure12 its normal, just probably something most people are not used to since most people have standard features. if teeth braces could not fix ugly teeth then surgery would be the most popular option
Michael Jackson had the exact same problem. His family tormented him for his nose growing up. Hence why he kept doing stuff to it.
My friend recently came up to me and told me he got botox.
Only one of us was able to keep a straight face.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Underrated comment
😂😂
My mom got surgeries literally just to keep my dad around. He still left, came back and left again. My sister is a whole story in itself
That’s so sad I’m sorry that happened to your family.
Yes it suck when family member do butchery on face is like they don't like their family faces
The things some women will do for men, sad. I'm glad this generation is learning differently.
My mom taught me no one has my face or body and that’s what makes me unique. Why try to be like everyone else? I’m glad she taught me that. Sorry for your family 🫶🏻
@@caleighhraeeyes! So many people are altering their faces and even bodies to look exactly the same. Imo, all those women are just plain Janes now (including Kim Kardashian) because they all look alike and there's nothing unique or truly beautiful about about them anymore. 🤷♀️
As a girl with body image issues, whatever I do to improve my looks, is for everyone. Men and women. I constantly have the fear of being judged for my looks by men and women. I put on makeup infront of women scared they'd look at me and think I'm ugly even though I have no sexual attraction towards women
That's understandable, women can be the harshest beauty critics or admirers of other women (sometimes to your face and sometimes not). 😅
Yeah, it's really more complicated than people think. Yes, a lot of women's beauty standards are related to what men want, but women are often the ones who "enforce" the standard amongst themselves, and then men's preferences also change to adapt to what women start "selling" to them. It's a complicated cycle.
In a way it's similar to how men judge each other by the same metrics that women judge them by (money and status, strength, etc).
You don’t have to do literally any of that. There is something deplorable about most people around you that you probably don’t know. You don’t have to care about what they say and don’t force yourself to change your appearance for others. Focus on your mental and physical health and you’ll be fine.
@@Mirro6112 Thank you 🙂
I 👏🏽 you for your honesty.
I actually got a huge tattoo last year and convinced myself i was getting solely for me, but after a couple of months I was kinda disappointed and thats when I realized it was because I didn’t get the attention i wanted. Truth is most people if not everyone wants to desirable and i don’t think thats a problem, but the lengths a person would to do that could be a problem
Nice tattoo
This is what's happening with trans kids, except the cons are much worse than having a tattoo
Damn that's fucked, but huge hat of to you that you're able to admit to that. Most people will go their entire life being mad at everything and everyone around them because they cannot confront themselves.
I am so lucky I don't have the ugliest face. The thing I am deeply insecure about is my personality 😂. So my problem doesn't at all lie with the first impression. It's about the dissapointment after that.
@@space1734 thanks bro
They will say they don’t do it for men
But they will blame their “unrealistic beauty standards” on men and the patriarchy 😂
Wtf, we are always the villain even when it makes no sense
I think it's absolutely insane how much attention and adoration the Jenner/Kardashian clan gets for their "beauty".
Kylie Jenner's plastic surgeon is the best to ever do it, and even he couldn't make fake tits look good.
It's very weird. So much more stuff to value from others.
Crazy how they’ve been the standard when it’s all artificial 😂
Even their Dad is artificial 😂😂😂
They're too cookie cutter now to be truly beautiful. 🤷♀️
So nice to hear yall talking about it. Not just that women do it, but men support it. I used to be very depressed, and sometimes suicidal back when I was 18 because I had a large ass, and big lips. I was made fun of for having it. I used to wear a size 5\6 and I thought I was too fat. Now I definitely weigh more, and I've had more men call me beautiful because of the big boobs, lips, and ass. 15 years ago I was invisible to men, now my body is all they see. Seeing women die to make their body look like mine, while I wanted to kms for having it, just shows you how fucked society is. On top of that, if you don't act a certain type of black, people think you're weird and goofy. It's like I'm never attractive to anyone, at any point in my life. Everybody is so consumed about clout n shit that they don't know how to be happy, appreciative, and love themselves.
Same honestly I never understood wanting big breast and big butt….i so badly as a teen wanted look like 90s model but to know people pay to have a curvy shape is interesting to me.. I’ve always tired to hide it even with baggy clothes society is strange I guess😅 and if your a curvy black woman people expect you to act a certain way…they’re really surprised that I’m a nerdy quirky kind of girl
@@teeanne6331 Same! We are a rare breed, but you are loved. You are really really loved. ❤️❤️❤️
Honestly we gotta look and love being attractive to ourselves bc fuck it if men and women are gonna hate or like it,fuck doing it for them fitting into the beauty standards,I worried about do I fit into MY beauty standard (which is knowing imma mf catch) and anyone who doesn't see that is insane, it's very important to find yourself attractive or beauty within yourself bc no one is gonna be good enough to see it in you
I want to add a caveat to this conversation: I think men generally think they don’t like plastic but don’t actually recognize plastic surgery when it’s well done. There was a line up a few years ago where women put on masks and lined up topless for a video. The audience was tasked with rating the women and guessing who had the boob job. Most people rated the boob job as the best and failed to correctly guess who had the plastic surgery. I think most people think of worst case scenarios when they imagine plastic surgery and I think the opinion they have is genuine. I think of it a lot like the coke and Pepsi blind taste test. A few years ago, they had people taste coke and Pepsi side by side without revealing which was which. Pepsi overwhelmingly won the taste test but coke as a brand won the popularity contest. People like the idea of something and sometimes the experience conflicts with what they say or believe. Interesting stuff.
Most people lack self awareness, so you can never take what they say at face value.
This is the most reasonable comment I’ve read lmao. Ty op
This is so true ☝🏿☝🏿
People who cant see a natural boobs vs fake boobs is blind. Even more if everyone was naked... That shit is visible from miles away. Maybe smaller boob jobs, like some just want to go from A or B to C. Then maybe we see it less. But still the scar is still there under the boob.
Very similar to how people say they hate CGI in movies. Yeah, you hate it when it's done poorly, but there's many times CGI is added and you would NEVER know it was there. It's when it blends naturally where it's ok.
The worst part about cosmetic surgery is that for a lot of people, they usually get used to the new look and think they are returning back to their older appearance, then feel the need to get more surgery that ends up making them look more and more uncanny over time. Its why we see that "stretched out" "fishy" lips in people who inject botox.
That’ll change when surgery becomes more advanced and affordable. The first prototypes usually aren’t as good in any example
@@jato2942still gonna end up looking like someone with a condom stretched over their face in 20 years
It’s injecting filler, not Botox. Botox stops wrinkles and movement
They will say they don’t do it for men
But they will blame their “unrealistic beauty standards” on men and the patriarchy 😂
Make it make sense
Why do men not get plastic surgery, then ?
It's for men. Women, you like men to tell u how pretty you're. It's intra sexual competition. Criteria for women is mostly about beauty, while it's more of social status for men.
I lost over 30 lbs the last 6 months. I was clinically overweight and now I'm at a clinically healthy BMI. Vanity is was the biggest motivator though. Wanted to look good in a bikini.
A lot of men can't even tell when a woman is wearing makeup. My friend was showing me photos of this girl he liked, saying "I like girls like her who don't wear makeup." Girl was wearing make-up in every photo he showed me. A lot of men's perspectives have been so distorted, they don't even know what "natural" looks like.
lol women need to put makeup on to look like "girls who don't wear makeup".
Because there's actually tutorials for women to have a "No makeup" look. His perspective is distorted because WOMEN distort it on their own. 🤷♀️
@@lexansstories6952Exactly 💯
I think the reason a lot of men can't tell if a woman is wearing makeup or not is because they've never seen her without makeup, know nothing about makeup, or they're dumb.
What I find crazy is that we went from surgery being confined to pron-stars occasionally getting lips and/or tits done, to now regular folk walking around with completely artificial bodies in about 20 years. Im scared to imagine whats in store for us in the next 20 years.
In 20 years you probably won't be able to tell the difference. A lot of people have stuff done nowadays that you wouldn't guess. The only ones you notice are the goombas that take the cosmetics to 100.
Next step will be Cyberpunk 2077.
Like that crazy Ken Doll fella. Dude paid to get fake abs & bicepts put on him and a "lift kit" on his face. Buddy looks like a cartoon character from the Fairly Odd Parents. 🤣
To many people watch pron that's probably why.
We are probably moving to an inevitability of humans becoming interwoven with AI. Just look at “designer babies”. Maybe not in our lives, but at some point, we’ll probably be able to switch bodies even. It’s where technology and human interest is moving. And to me it’s neither bad nor good, I’m neutral
I wanted breast implants most of my younger life. It wasnt until I got a little older and started seriously dating that i changed my mind. Most men really dont care if you have small breasts if you've got a decent personality 😅
My current boyfriend has always made me feel great about my small breasts. Plus I'd rather not undergo surgery after surgery just to maintain a false image. Proud member of the itty bitty titty committee for life 😂
Told my girl, I loved her for her not for her breast or ass just her
Straight facts
Couldn’t have said it any better. To me, looks in a women are very important for first impressions, when literally the only thing you know about the woman in question is looks.
But as you said, personality carries in long term relationships. If we like you we like you that’s it, if you have a nice body it’s a plus for sure but at this age we can’t be beggars tbh 😂
Boobs are boobs
As long as the person attached to them is awesome most men dont judge
Yeah I have B cups and in general, I’m pretty plain, but I still do fine on the dating apps when I’m single. Implants might make sense if my career was based on my looks or if I’m trying to land a rich one. T shirts don’t fit right unless they’re from a teen store, but I’ll survive lol
As a naturally thin and small chested woman, I finally got boobs during pregnancy and breastfeeding my daughter for a year. I felt curvy, womanly and was able to fill out shirts and dresses that would have previously required a super padded bra. After weaning, I ended up flatter than I was before 😭 I never considered surgery until now because I got to experience what it was like to have my desired body shape before it was snached away from me 😢 this is why I especially don’t judge women for having surgery after having children because they will straight up ruin your body
Ha same! I used to feel bad about my body, I was fat in all the wrong places despite lots of sports, had a big nose, etc.
After kids I lost the rest of my breasts, it was just an empoty sac! So I started doing lots of booty training and intermittent fasting instead. Now my body looks really good, my boobs returned slightly but mostly I'm ready to love without them, I have other stronger areas.
@@thiacarilike that ass!
Unrealistic and nit picky body standards. Its not for themselves or for men specifically. It's for society in general. A girl could be dropdead gorgeous, but be insecure about having a chubby face or small lips. Everything about them is pretty, but they hyperfocus on the ONE perceived "flaw" because they have been conditioned to believe that certain things are objectively unattractive.
Facts
True true
You just named the two things I'm insecure about 😂. My chubby face and small lips.
@@celestejacobs7386 chubby face fr😭
@@celestejacobs7386
Me too 😢
As a guy I'll be honest. I'm 5'5 and if the tall surgery worked with little side effects and wasnt so expensive I'd get it in a heartbeat. The way women and the world looks at you when you're tall is just different.
I've worn boots like timbs and even the extra 3-4inches makes me close to average which is an upgrade from below average in terms of women and gaining respect. It's like pretty privilege for men.
Hit the gym. Woman love buff dudes. Even if you’re short. They say they don’t like muscular dudes but that’s cap.
It's more about what you exude. I know it's difficult to look confident when deep inside you don't truly love yourself as per some unwritten standards. It's also more about character,intellect , etc than about physical body women can rely on. Physical attractiveness is not substantial
For what it's worth, not every place judges men the same. Standards are super variable by region. I find that the less a person lingers on social media - specifically Instagram - the less they encounter of specific popular beauty standards and so their measure of attractiveness is more flexible. E.g., me and some of the women I know truly do not care if a man is our height or shorter than us (I myself am short). Then again, none of the people I know pursue anything short of marriage, so... our standards are beyond the superficial because we don't play with dating or any of that. We INVEST for life, it changes the game. You get me?
Okay, this comment is a long ramble, but I'm trying to say that your body is your God-given body and you do not offer less to a woman than a man who is taller. There is nothing you should change about your body for others. I know the bullying and the rejections can be brutal for some men, and the pressure to change is rough. But we don't even want the women who would, without even considering, reject a well-rounded honorable guy just for falling a little beneath their region's height average. Don't go nearsighted just because the people around you lack vision.
5'9 woman here and i never cared about height in a man at all.
you are right, many dumb people judge men by their height and respect them more the taller they are. fuck them, nobody needs superficial people in their lives. nobody deserves to feel they are worth less because they are not up to unchangeable superficial standards. people's worth are to be evaluated by the values they hold and the way they act.
Married woman here . After having 4 kids my stomach was changed for ever. I have always be slim with a nice figure and wear dresses often. I got a Tummy tuck this year and it's a decision I would never regret and I can say it was done for me!
I don’t want to come off as rude but why even post this other than to get attention? This video is clearly not talking about women like you or your particular situation.
@@thewanabees123LOLL
@@thewanabees123 Maybe it's both for attention and also perspective. She could have said, " No I got a tummy tuck for me and no one else," or someother bs like that
@@Cjn03980 this is valid. It’s just annoying to see these type of “look at me, look at me” posts.
@@thewanabees123 why are you so triggered? she can post whatever she wants, as long as it's not hateful.
I worked in the fashion industry in NYC for some time- and I met this model who was middle eastern - she had this little tiny button nose and she said “oh yeah I hated my nose, I got a nose job!” She had to redo her whole portfolio because her face was “different”- but I saw what her old pictures were before her surgery, she was ABSOLUTELY STUNNING with her old larger nose. She was so unique and angular and looked like a goddess; gave her her culture and heritage where as with her new nose she just looked like everyone else…cute, simple, average.
Maybe it was her own self esteem that warranted her to get surgery done but I thought she was 1000x more beautiful (and more marketable in my opinion) the old way, it was sad.
I still wonder to this day had she not gotten it done would she have been more successful. Because now she just looks like any other brown haired olive skinned girl; and there are plenty of those within these agencies.
Not gonna lie.. when Aba said if it’s not for the male gaze, why aren’t there many lesbians that get a bbl blew my mind to smithereens! I knew it was a lie already, but to put it that way… really hit me 😂
Didn't see the video but that is a great point.
They will say they don’t do it for men
But they will blame their “unrealistic beauty standards” on men and the patriarchy 😂
In reality they just want an excuse to bash men
IKR
@knottiema7667 same. That blew my mind!
@@nobodythenobody9779
Guys prefer bigger boobs and bigger buts on ladies
I’m not on team no plastic surgery. I’m on keeping it proportional to the rest of your body.
Whether we admit it or not, we do a lot for other people. We want to feel accepted or attractive. It is what it is.
who in their right mind would "accept" you, though?
lmfao. no. fuck no. its pathetic in every way u choose to look at it. butchering yourself for social acceptance. idiocracy at its peak.
i think it’s for attention but will never admit it because of pride or ego
Attention? so if someone doesn't like their nose and they get surgery it's for attention. Can you people think objectively.
@@claff4573did you even watch the video?? My goodness
Kind of seems like your a bit insecure about this topic because you're mentioning about something that has nothing to do with you specifically @@claff4573
@@claff4573You're running around the comments ranting like an idiot because you refuse to comprehend that human beings are social creatures and that there's very little we do that is solely for ourselves. Nothing we do is done in the void. The very thought of not liking your nose came from where? What would trigger you not liking it removing all external stimuli?
@@claff4573no wonder you're single
When people say they do it for themselves, i think there is a bit of a self-lie there, because its easier to tell yourself that you're doing that for your own self-improvement and not for the approval of others, even when those things are not mutually exclusive.
Self improvement usually automatically means it has positive effects on others as well, it just naturally follows
@@jato2942 right on
💯
That's not necessarily true; there are narcissists then there are some that legitimately do it for themselves esp is body mod community.
Remember, women are incapable of self accountability. They always have to blame someone or something. What they say is mostly irrelevant since it’s just immersed in contradictions, hypocrisy and double standards. What is important is to pay attention to what their actions are. What they do. There you find her truth. Attention and validation is their drug and they are fiends to it. Fiends.
I think a lot of people are also fooled into thinking that they're doing it for themselves, because they don't quite realize the journey it took them to get there.
Seeing a trend grow in popularity throughout society can cause some people stress if they find they're suddenly not "fitting in." Then they start viewing their bodies differently, start feeling unhappy with their situation and may not even truly understand why because "everyone's doing it" and everyone's glorifying it.
You can be tricked into thinking something was your idea when in reality you were influenced. It's like the whole gender thing. They create an identity crisis so bad that some kids really *do* feel like if they don't conform they don't even want to be alive anymore.
It's crazy how silent and controlling influence can become and eventually gaslight people into thinking it was their idea and that they're "doing it for themselves" while others are simultaneously doing the exact same thing
Aba is so right. When a woman has a certain look, it opens doors for us. I myself always wanted bigger breast because I’m flat chested and can’t seem to gain any weight. I like the idea bc I may appear more feminine as opposed to butchy and boyish. And the thought of a man liking my body (with boobs) isn’t necessarily a bad thing to me.
Just copy ballerinas. They are so skinny but my they are so feminine!
Well to me at least.
Or just look at alot of asians, so many are so skinny but so many are so feminine in style from what I've seen.
Same here, 1000%. I have very broad shoulders for a woman, they’re wider than my hips which aren’t exactly small, and I can barely fill an AA cup. I always feel masculine and not like a girl, and I want to wear shirts and blouses that only look good on women with breasts. I don’t look very feminine now, and I don’t feel feminine either, and it’s because my chest is so small. When I even just jokingly stuff my bra and do poses in the mirror, I already feel more feminine even though it’s just tissues in my bra 😂
@@space_pollutionyour chest is feminine. Flat chest, big breasts. Are all feminine because they are on a woman. flat chested women are just as sexy.
Men dont even care about tits anymore
So I had a c until after I had kids. The first kid jumped me to a d and the second to a DD. Let me tell you I miss the c. I can't wear most of the cute tops I loved because the style just doesn't work with larger breast. Love what you have as you probably look amazing just the way you are!
I was bullied for years, I have contemplated getting a boob job because it was something they bullied me with (small boobs).
I told myself if I didn’t get at least a B cup I would allow myself to have a boob job (never wanted huge boobs, just bigger than they were/are). But I have a B cup now.
I have started to accept that small breasts are because of my physique and because I was sick so often as a child/teen and didn’t get enough nutrients because of it. (I say that because in my family most women have bigger boobs, but they weren’t anywhere near as tall as me, I’m 6’0/184cm).
I’m still insecure but I just find clothing and bras that make me feel better/prettier and try to live with the things I don’t like/hate about myself. I’m 26 now.
6’?
How you doin’?
You look just fine. No need to carry that chip on your shoulder. Just maintain your health and fitness and you'd be fine.
Please don't do it. That's not something you gently want. You're still traumatized and coerced into believing there's something fundamentally wrong with the way YOUR body developed and looks. I promise you B cups are the least of your worries.
I can guarantee you there's a breast cancer survivor who had a mastectomy that wishes what they had what YOU HAVE.
Please please love yourself and focus on important things in life.
Guys like small boobs too. As much as we glorify big boobs, there are plenty of wives and gfs out there with B cups.
Girl, small or medium breasts are a blessing, believe me. No debilitating back aches, no need for hunching your whole life, better posture. Nice breast shape, no sagging (yeah, natural big breasts almost always sag), no under-boob sweating, no stretchmarks. You can go braless whenever you want. You can go jogging without putting on three sport bras and still getting a black eye from one of your boobs getting loose. You can sleep on your stomach. You dont get those disgusting stares and unwanted attention from creepy old uncles and random men. Big breasts can really be a burden for life and I think we dont speak about it enough. Be happy and grateful for what you have.
All my life I took pride in wearing no makeup and having a good skincare routine. Over the past 2 years through dating more I realised I couldn’t compete with these other girls who were looking so much more done up than me. I started wearing makeup because of it and it worked like night and day. However I still don’t feel good enough and still feel like I have to do more. I hate how insecure it’s making me especially since I used to be so confident going out all natural with no shame :(
I am a very little makeup kind of woman too. I think because it all starts with online dating these days, the photo needs to "sell". And in photos, it doesn't pick up suble makeup so little makeup looks like no makeup. I put a mix of light makeup and even less makeup photos in my dating profile. And just found men who are into that. Yes, it does take longer, but for me weeded out the men I wouldn't want anyways.
I usually wear makeup for cameras, since that's what it's really made for. And I also use it as a signal that I'm making an effort for events where I need to impress. I think it's a mistake to confuse feminine beauty with things like longer eyelashes and angular features when those things come more naturally to men anyways 😂
Idk how old you are but the right one will like you for you don't compete because even Beyonce got cheated on love.....now adays most are not dating for luv just fun so sweetie your fine im sure
I dont wear makeup anymore because it destroyed my self image. I am too old now to gaf. Occasionally I'll think about wearing a little bit of makeup, but then I ask myself... why? its not going to make me feel better about myself.
Homegirl the solution is pretty simple actually, I'd say I'm far from figuring stuff out but with this specific topic I feel pretty good
For dating (apps) just get pro photos done, no makeup. The pro perspective and lighting will carry much more than dolling up, and is a more accurate portrayal of oneself on a day-to-day basis
Then the time and money that goes to make-up, put into developing a skill of some sort instead. I don't really date guys but imho you playing an instrument or creating nice artworks or programming or being good at some sport or whatever is a lot more attractive than being dolled up. Especially in the long run. More importantly it's a much more fulfilling thing to do and helps increase confidence rather than diminish it
That said if you just want a one-night-stand yeah go get 💅 to the club etc, nothing wrong with that
When men say they hate plastic surgery/fillers. That’s a damn lie. Men hate OBVIOUS plastic surgery. If the boobs or lips are proportionate, you can’t tell.
I got subtle lip injections when I was 18 (probably because it was trendy) & this guy that was interested at the time said to me “I’m glad you embrace natural these duck lips are outta hand” ............. lmao. He had no idea.
😂 do you know what men like? Men don’t care about lip injections, fake eye lashes, wigs, fake buts etc.
True, I've always been saying I don't want a girl with plastic surgery but to be honest that's because when I picture plastic surgery in my head it always looks awful. I think I'd probably change my mind if the plastic surgery got good enough that it looks and feels like the real thing.
I don't know how other guys would feel about it, though. Some men are like me, secretly, and other men hate plastic surgery on principle and they would never engage with a women who's had it.
@@Joey_Lanceuntil women don’t put in effort for their appearance and you call them ugly/lazy/plain. Try again little boy, like we women don’t have daily experience with y’alls shit.
@@Joey_Lance But they are lining up to give those types of women millions of dollars. So stop the cap. You guys love it as long as it looks more natural.
@@thezu9250 Those guys you mention would settle down with an average woman and love her for the rest of their life if they could. However, the average woman don't want them. You think the guy who would spend that kind of money on a girl they will never met in person would so if they were found attractive by the average woman? That money is spent out of desperation not admiration. They are not spurring natural women they are grabbing at anything they can get.
this is a very interesting conversation to have because yeah I've noticed that too. Every guy I have ever heard says he likes women all natural go for the Instagram baddies. To the point where there was this guy in our community who said he only likes girls with no makeup but ended up cheating on his girl with women who had their face beat.
In a relationship aspect or a sexual aspect?
@@Privelivetif he cheated does it matter?
@umbreon188 yes because a man isn't taking a woman seriously if he's just smashing her ... there's context to this its still cheating but he's not in a relationship with her
@@PrivelivetThe guy cheated with a girl who had her "face beat", not a girl with a natural face. Makes him a hypocrite, liar AND a cheater.
@@maya_miaa It's only cheating if he's actually in a relationship with her. Here's the thing most women don't get: The instagram baddies are good for recreational use only. They aren't relationship material.
I’d like to get liposuction and BBL next year. I’ve lost 140 pounds over the last 10 months. I thought losing weight would help, but it didn’t because I can’t change my fat distribution. I’m naturally an apple shape. I carry more weight in my upper body. Despite my workouts, healthy eating and weight loss, my proportion hasn’t changed. It triggers me nonstop knowing I don’t have a smaller waist and larger hips like most women, with or without surgery. I don’t feel feminine, clothes don’t look right on me and I’m exhausted. Yes, attention and meeting beauty standards will be nice, but I have to do it for myself.
My friend got a BBL and tummy tuck for the same reason and she 100% did it as a reward for all the hard work and dedication it took to loose 100+ lbs
"Most women" don't have a tiny waist and curvy ass. I'm Finnish and we often go to the sauna naked with other women, or to public saunas near lakes, spas, hotels and pools. I've seen hundreds of naked women of all ages and max 15% fit your description. Most women have a few good-looking body parts. Some women are thin, some are curvy, some are small, some have good boobs, some good legs, some have beautiful hair or a cute face. I've seen maybe 2 "perfect" naked women during my lifetime (I'm 36).
I would say a better strategy than trying to sculpt your body into current social media norms, is to change the environment to fit you. Spend a thousand on high quality natural fibre clothes tailored to fit you well. Practice intermittent fasting or 1-3 day fasts to let your body's autophagy response eat away your drooping skin (or get a tummy tuck if it hasn't worked in a year). Have gym equipment around your house and job, do a few squats daily. Find a living location or a pet that encourages walking to places. Meet real people, not media persons online.
There is no use in risking your health, possibly life, and a lot of your money, just to look like someone online for a year or two. Surgery health risks and problems might follow you for life.
And people that have done it don't even look that good! Unless they are super rich that have the most expensive doctors and recovery process and cooks and personal trainers.
If you invested that surgery money on a fasting retreat or two, healthy food, a kitchen upgrade, quality tailored clothes, a few spa days with friends, a personal trainer once a week, the results would be long term and much less risky! Instead of spending months, even a year, in recovery.
(I'm 55 kg and look shit in most of store bought clothes, there is just something wrong with the fit, and the materials are itchy)
Wow 140 lbs in 10 months. Tell me what you did!! I have 115 to lose!
I’ll be honest: I’m built like a 90s model, I have been this way my whole life and hated and sometimes still do hate how clothes fit on my body in comparison to a curvy woman. Before I even started dating I dreamed of having my butt just a LITTLE fuller so I could feel more confident in myself. At that time it was for me. Of course when you date assholes who comment on what you don’t have etc I can understand you going into the mindset of trying to achieve what the men your dating are openly and clearly attracted to.
I’m 32 and I’m at peace, I still want a butt but if try 2 years of genuine training and lifting before I’d even think about a bbl. My life isint worth risking something that doesn’t bother the man I’m with and I could potentially modify myself if I put in work.
The worst are the bbl’s that look like teeth. Nicki’s ass looks horrendous. Cardi has revised hers, and it looks smooth but very fluffy. I appreciate that she’s so honest.
Meghan got lipo but posts videos of her in the gym frauding her fans into believing they can get the same body change by going gym.
Doja openly said she had lipo and s breast lift.
The Kardashian’s are still trying to convince us that they’ve never had any surgery but they’re the reason why so many women have got this surgery.
This is interesting because back then skinnier builds were pushed. Now obese women are pushed, potentially making skinnier women not feel good about themselves. I'm skinny and always has been. As a guy men and women get on me lmfao. But I love my frame and nothing will make me want to change it
I feel you girl! I’ve always been slim too. I wanted to be thicker when I was younger and let men push the “real women have curves” speech on me. Living in the south a lot of black men like thicker women which had me feeling less than for the longest. By 25 I said fucked it and just learned to appreciate my slim frame. I’m 33 now and I’m so glad I let that go. I’ve dated assholes too who made the comments about my body. I just had to learn to go where I’m appreciated. Plenty of women out here with no ass or titties and still pulling em! lol
@@aguythatsrandom gonna be honest here, it doesn't matter how hard ppl try to push obesity to be attractive, its the one thing that's not gonna happen, its so true that people are willing to buy ozempic and other pills even though they have so many side effects. There's no obese woman that can ever make me feel bad about my body. If a fit woman does, that's a whole different story, you'll see me crying rivers 😂
The new fashion line for 2024-2025 will cater to you you'll see
I love how Aba addresses the men who said they like natural always end up dating the most plastic women. I remember my ex always saying he likes how natural I am and the woman he follows on Instagram says completely different. Reason he is an ex! It is sad how women go above and beyond for a man🤦🏽♀️
Sounds like you need to get over your ex
@@zumba.c sounds like you didn't understand anything she said, which makes complete sense considering you probably fall in line with her ex
@@zumba.cwow someone didn't get the point lol
Women constantly get comments on their bodies, surgery gets positive responses and people will comment on your body and treat you differently based on how you look. People are literally nice to me after surgery, I was able to get a promotion that I’d been overlooked for because of surgery.
Not all the time.
The only time plastic surgery is a negative is when the girl is already beautiful but she gets some crazy surgery like a BBL. Subtle/natural style plastic surgery always get compliments. @@mstwelvedeadlycyns
I’m a woman, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s both, but it’s not both for every woman. Some women do actually do it for attention from men, or just to attract whoever they like in general. Other women do it for themselves, BUT I do think it is done in order to fit what they perceive to be the ideal womanly shape for themselves. It’s a way of fitting whatever image of woman’s beauty they have. Personally, I feel plastic surgery, hormones, etc. is a roundabout way of women, and even men, telling themselves they don’t look woman or man enough. It seems based on societal conventions on what those should look like, even though just existing should be enough for anyone to look like a man or a woman, but all forms of media for ages have put it into everyone’s minds that you were born a male or female or intersex, but you need to mold yourself into a man or a woman, which is really a fucked up and strange way to devalue people’s individuality if you think about it.
I think some women have envisioned themselves looking a certain way as they got older and somehow thought surgery was the ONLY way they could see themselves achieving their desired ideal appearance 🤔
Sadly some women will also never accept the fact they are fine as they are and have convinced themselves they aren't pretty or beautiful enough so they'll pay to get their face carved up here and there thinking it'll solve their issues but it WON'T 🤔😒
😐
Aba alrady adressed this.
What does the "they do it for themselves" mean exactly?
Its the same thing...just with extra steps.
They dont do it just "because"...they do it because it makes them feel better in their own skin...and WHY does it make them feel better in their own skin? Because theyre percieved as more worthy by society, as more attractive.
Even if theyre completely clueless and in denial about it thats what their brain is looking for. Because thats the modern standard of beauty.
Because they want to be more desirable and appreciated (perceived as really attractive by people around them)
@@uber1ns4n1ty8 I think perceiving oneself as attractive is equally as important and very much a goal for most people. That’s what I mean by “they do it for themselves”. To know you’re attractive is to believe it yourself 🤷🏽♀️.
As a women, i just wanted to say thank you! I am so tired of hearing the bull surrounding this. Everyone is to blame.
Im tired of hearing men say they like natural but the girls with the big butts, big chest, and high maintenance are the ones i see on their phones or catch side eyeing when we are driving downtown.
Men say well those are the women we don't marry. So does that mean you just settled for me and my natural body but they are the ones you really want? I'm just the girl you felt sorry for.
Thank God I don't have the money for plastic surgery and a great dad that i know thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am. If i didn't have that strong father daughter relationship and had money, i probably would have gone under the knife a few years ago.
Women lying to other women gets me too. They try to make it seem like they were just born that way. It is for attention. They try to make it sound like it is just for them and they are so independent.
People just need to be honest!!
5:40 Man that genuinely made me start crying.
It's not that anybody is purposefully ignoring me, and this always seems to come off as braggin whenever I talk about it, but as someone with a deep ass barry white voice, but also can't project it that well, I can constantly talk to someone in a normal tone and they just won't hear me. The amount of times I've just been straight up ignored or had someone ask me "what" 5 times until I'm nearly shouting at them, it's just made me not talk to others, even if I want to.
...then sing like Barry White.
Simple
@@CEWIII9873lol yeah....just Sing, switch Genres if you must, go full Death Metal
I think the biggest increase in bbl and the hunger to appear desirable was not hip hop or movies. Here me out it was the moment "stardom" or "getting celebrity like attention" became accessible for the common man or woman aka social media. It was normal for everyday people to say back in the 90s that this chick was a video vixen and accepting "unrealistic beauty standards" is what made celebrities or pron stars seem amazing to us. but due to social media there is barely a line of separation. Perception and reality has become so dangerously blurred that what I perceive in my mind is more important than how I was actually born and what I see in the mirror.
There is a reason why I show my students the documentary Killing me softly and unedited kardashian pictures from the 90s.
The amount of times I've seen "fish lips" on dating apps is crazy! It's instant revulsion from me. Natural looks all the ways.
Yeah, fake lips, fake nails, fake lashes, fake cushions, fake milkers, all a turn off.
same, juat likw dyes hair it just lools extremly unnaturral
It's weird how I can instantly tell if someone has had work done. Something just feels off about their face/body. There is a weird disgust I feel when I see it. I can't even describe why I feel that way but it just comes from soul.
I'm sure they feel the same about that mid circle hairline 😂
@@claff4573 if you’re bitter just say so
Went to a party of a wealthy friend of mine. Most women there had botox, fillers, implants etc. These ladies all have rich boyfriends/lovers so it kind of seems like that's what the majority of these guys want. My poorer friends are now getting botox/fillers too now since those things are getting cheaper and easily accessible, and they have no trouble getting men. It seems guys do typically like the plastic surgery, or at least don't mind it, even when it's not super well-done
those men are stu pid, and prove money does not make intelligence...
I can relate to what Nicki said. When I was in my early teens my older cousins would come down on me hard for being thin, specifically pointing out that I had no ass. Had surgery been an option I would have definitely got fake tits and ass just to feel adequate. The fact that my best friend had big boobs and got way more attention from guys absolutely solidified their criticisms of my appearance and left me insecure for years and this was way back when thin was in
I just want a tummy tuck because after babies my tummy never went back no matter how much I work out
As a man who works out most of my life my initial reasons for working out was for health. Im an asthmatic and it was really bad when i was younger being physically active gets rid of a lot of the symptoms. As I got older i realized people would notice how physically fit i was so part of it became a vain endeavor. Now I would say it's 20% vanity, 30% of how my body feels when i move, and 50% health.
...and 100% ret arded!
As a women, y’all nailed it. Love listening to y’all’s takes on things.
As an almost 40 year old man. I can co-sign on the beauty trends changing. Some of which are cyclical. Please just be yourself. Someone loves whatever body type you are. They might not be the person that you want and that’s fine. However,eventually you’ll find someone who you are attracted to who’s also attracted to you.
this is wishful thinking
@@xybersurfer no it isn't
@@xybersurfer There's about 8 billion people in the world and more than one of them is going to be compatible with you. It's only wishful thinking if you're completely unwilling to look for them and see if you like them too.
@@crystaleunoia3974 no. you are moving the goalposts. read the opening comment i responded to, more carefully. on-top of that you are adding your own huge prejudgement
@@crystaleunoia3974 to counter your 8 billion people argument: there is also enough food to feed the world, but there is still hunger
I think it depend on the person. There are a lot of girls with insecurity and it has nothing to do with male gaze but sometimes its our own gaze that make us want a surgery.
then get eye implants
simple
Yes and yes! Even though surgery is getting more and more sophisticated by the year I’m growing more appreciative of small or petite women who work on their physique arduously. In my area there are a lot of women with implants and waist trainers, I usually share a glance at the nearest guy and laugh about how someone’s literally compressing their organs zero adulation.
And as someone who’s completely shredded after being a rib cage for 20 years. You’re damn right I enjoy a few drops of arrogance shirtless. It was never the goal for attention but when women drop their jaw at the sight of you it is a wonderful bonus for what I worked for in an era of over saturated inauthenticity.
No clue, but I think Madonna gets it to stop her face from falling off at this point
💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂😂
Madonna be looking like Jigsaw from the Saw movie franchise with that face 😂.
@@MiaWallace7903 omg Jigsaw 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Tbh, I’m a man, and I’ve been in and out of the gym for years, but the most recent time I had a consistent streak, it really had nothing to do with women or other people’s validation, I just have this affliction where if I’m not constantly creating or working towards something that I feel passionate about or that I consider working towards my goals and dreams, I start to feel like a bum and that I won’t amount to anything, so I started to go to the gym to subsidize that feeling because when I was at creative low points it gave me something that I was still constantly improving on.
It's actually natural that we don't like plastic surgery because every part of your face/body fits your face/body so when something is off our instincts kick in for an imposter
I had a similar discussion with someone a few days ago. Basically she said she dresses 'sexy' for herself and wants to feel sexy and don't like guys ogling her and she didnt care what others thought. I told her if it's for herself she could leave the sexy at home and if she truly didnt care what others thought she'd leave home looking the way she does when she gets out of bed. Then I asked, if people reacted in disgust to the way she looks would she still feel sexy? The conversation ended there.
What she means is- I do it for myself- what it does for themself to get that ego boost from all the looks and attention from men. Just because she doesn’t do it to actually find a man to sleep with…
Females seek out male validation for their attractiveness. It's solidifies that they are desirable. Which is also a driving point for SOME women who take sport in stealing other men from women... it makes them feel empowered and far more desired than the girl who is in a relationship with the guy.
I got my boobs done in 2016, i was 22. I never had growth and I found out later that I had an actual birth defect. Having no/very small breasts always hurt, I felt like I was lesser than other girls. I felt incomplete and unwomenly...
But, I never considered surgery until in a relationship. I felt like I needed to to keep him attracted to me. So even though I said it was for me, really it was for him.
Im happy and I did get more attention from guys after, but honestly if I could go back in time I never would have done it.
Beautiful people get treated better and if you're an unattractive person seeing that on a daily basis, whether it's hearing about beautiful people going places or your friends getting more attention than you, it makes since that some people would go this extreme route. It is however a very extreme route so I don't see surgery becoming too popular.
But sometimes it backfires, for example the actress for Starlight in The boys got surgery because of what people said. Now she is getting more people criticizing her looks...
And beautiful people also have to deal with jealousy; not everyone is treating them nicely
All I'm gonna say is the grass is always greener to people. There are plenty of beautiful people that would give it up in a heartbeat.
Not true
@@cynthiahembree3957ngl thats bs. If u been ugly then became good looking the latter is always better. Im speaking from experience.
For me, its definitely not for the male gaze. Sad to say but ive been insecure about my facial features (especially having big lips) since i was 6-7 even before knowing what beauty standards were all because of a school project. Since then Ive always have insecurities and never really thought about getting surgery until recently with one of my features mainly because it’s becoming a health issue. But im currently trying my best to accept the way I am and grow.
Honestly I’m at a point in my life where I’ve seen changes in beauty standards constantly. Trends go so fast now and beauty standards change in a few months now. I just don’t see any point in changing what I was given if at some point it will be trendy. You can never win truly. I’m not ditching beauty standards all together since I love beauty like everybody else and I want to be noticed too but I’ve been trying to look at beauty standards from the past that match my description or features. You can find useful tips to highlight your features and secrets by past civilizations and different cultures. It has really helped me accept my masculine features as a women and find new beautiful things about me. ❤ I hope others learn to appreciate themselves and have these standards suit us. Not the other way around.
I think its sad people feel like they have to alter their appearance for the approval of others. And at this point unnatural is so widely accepted. I have always love the natural appearance of women with no makeup, no surgeries, no wigs, etc.
Actually rephrase your sentence and it seems even more insidious. "I think its sad people can't respect, or approve of another's existence unless they look a certain way. So many people have disrespected the natural and plain so much that one needs to commit to surgeries in order to have a semblance of a happy life. Self-hate is the most respected stance."
@@JadedeaJade this! I've gotten crap in life for not dying my hair, not wearing makeup, dressing in my own style & not chasing trends, having natural nails & lashes. "Effort" is propped up... but only when it's fake.
It's because pretty/handsome privilege get 10000x better treatment, better attention, a wider choice of attractive partners, and some can get better job opportunities or skirt consequences for their looks. Who wouldn't want that?
@@JadedeaJade Beautiful re-phrasing!
This was my biggest problem about the rise of Iggy and Nicki, they could have influenced a whole generation of females with the massive influence they had but they chose to go with big butts. Think about it. That was the bbl turning point.
lolol just got to the clip of nicki
Could they have gotten in the industry without that distinct look 🤔
@@claff4573exactly
@@claff4573That's the thing no one cares to ask. Women, during their rise in the rap world, had to (and still have to) work twice as hard as men to get recognized and promoted. People wonder why Ice Spice and Doja were walking around with their whole asses hanging out, but I wasn't. They understand their market and the male dominated world they're in, and are trying to work it to their advantage. But as a fellow woman, I can't help but feel disheartened about it. Not one average looking, basic bodied woman is ever going to make it big in the rap scene for a long time like every other male rapper can do. It's the double standards for me.
@@claff4573 yes they were already in it.
I’ll be honest about this topic: I had liposuction in March and I feel soooooo much better about myself. No matter how hard I worked out or ate different, other areas would get toned but never my back or belly and I felt very insecure about it looking in the mirror. There was a small component of wanting to be attractive, but for me there just wasn’t that much stock in it. I wanted jeans to look better on me. I suppose the added benefit was others finding me attractive. But I truly wanted to feel good about myself.
what about all of the cottage cheese and cellulite?
@@CEWIII9873 what are you asking
@@564Clayton how much of that spills out of your bathing suit whenever you go to the beach?
@@CEWIII9873 this question seems cruel and ill intentioned but I’ll respond anyhow. Lipo won’t help with those issues. You have to already be pretty close to, if not at your ideal weight for liposuction to be effective. I’ve never had cellulite so it’s not something I’m familiar with but lipo only helps on a surface level. If skin is “spilling” then that would likely require skin removal surgery.
@@CEWIII9873 yea can confirm from your comment history that you’re a jerk. Get that together. God doesn’t like mean spirited people
Literally the most real assessment of the situation that I've heard yet. This is exactly how I see this whole situation. Now, I don't need to make my own podcast cuz somebody is actually out here speaking facts 😂
Finally, a pair of heterosexual men that are confirming that men are oblivious/capping about wanting a natural chick! Natural now is completely different from what it was a decade ago. Everything is filtered, altered and purchased. I had a well known relationship coach basically criticize me because my aesthetic doesn't conform to social media. As a women if I get anything cosmeticly done its because thats what the media says I have to do. Apparently if you dont have the right color, phenotype, and or body type you aren't attractive. I have the shape that women pay for but feeling it has to be on display all the time to be "in style" is vain!
I mean men want a natural chick in the same way women want tall guys on dating apps. Both are going to be disappointed when what they get wasn't what was advertised but sometimes they are tricked
I mean, it's so much that dudes are lying when they say they like natural chicks. It's that women with surgery tend to be more overtly sexual and confident and will more likely go out their way to put themselves out there. Women who are natural usually don't do that so they don't get as much attention.
It's the same as a woman saying she likes naturally buff men but constantly likes guys on steroids. It's because men on steroids tend to be more out there and exhibit themselves more.
It's not to say that no man likes plastic surgery but it's not just "either or" and the reason behind it can vary a lot
Cap thats literally just a women problem that women put on themselves its yall who dominate womens media its yall women including you who is society and who be telling other women how to get a man with looks only not the men literally it take one sec to search up and find mountains of men saying we like good natural and it be mainly men who are open to most women while for most women they need a 6ft tall something that isn't average and is sometimes even close to super rare and yall be echo chambering to eachother while the next generation of girls listen in and try to half mimic but on mimic bad qualities just so yall can put on men why yall grown adults act that way of a child men still love natural just dont confuse a one night stand for a wife cause no men saying they need a bbl loke women say they need one smh
there was already social media filters and alterations a decade ago. i would say go back at least another decade, right before facebook
There is a difference between short term and long term.
So accurate about everything you guys pointed out. A lot of guys say they like natural but they don't. I grew up in the 90s, when the standard was skinny & no ass but boobs larger than watermelons. I've always had curves, big butt, thick thighs and hips, everything that guys like now. Only a few guys back then liked curves below boobs. I remember being teased by my volleyball coach saying my butt was too big. My nickname was "booty". I remember wanting thinner thighs & never wore pants because i wanted my butt to be less noticeable. I never disliked my curves but yeah, it was rough growing up not being the ideal body type. But the change in beauty standards was nice but now everybody wants what I naturally had/have. Good thing my mental health was already wrecked before I made it to my teens so I never wanted to get things put in, taken out or redistributed on my body.
What do you mean most guys don't like natural? That's just nonsense
@@hllyenaylleth9576 a lot is not the same as most. I said a lot.
Growing up did you ever approach any guy you found attractive? If so, how many times? Was it the case that you just waited for the guy to make the first move?
@@DwolfFW I had plenty of guys into me on the side of town I grew up in but I grew up with mainly hispanic and black. It's the white guys that had issues. Once I started working in an office setting with the majority white is when I noticed that white guys weren't that into curves. I wasn't chasing anyone if they weren't into me but i could see who they dated or were married to and they were quite thin, no butt or hips. Plastic surgery was way more expensive then, so not many boob jobs going around in my age group(20s). But the older men with more disposal income had wives/girlfriends with big boobs, rail thin & definitely no butt. Most hispanic & all black guys, I've encountered, have always been into curves, at least in my experience. I'm not saying there weren't any white guys into me but most of those guys liked the "exotic" look. I use the word "exotic" because that's what almost all the white guys I've dated would say about what first attracted them to me. Big butts just weren't a thing in mainstream culture in the 90s, not like it is now.
The problem is always the men. That’s what society tells us and that’s why men are incredibly miserable.
People think wanting attention means narcissism. No. It just means being a normal human being. Now if you're seeking too much attention and you're risking you're life as well that would mean that you have mental health problems or you're insecure.
This is an awesome video. Great lesson here.
Mental health issues or super insecure, would you say the same about trans people? We have to realize that some peoples bodies genuinely suck balls, and they have the right to do anything to change it
Honesty who's fault is that. Getting attention has been so pathologized and medicalized by women's favorite activity. Therapy word salad speak. 😂
@@houseofhas9355You know there is bad attention? If you have an oddity people will focus on IT instead of letting you blend into the crowd. Don't lie you see a skinny person with curtain skin arms they stick out. Person with Dumbo ears, literally they stick out. Huge nose etc... is it for vanity a bit, but it's also so they won't be stared and gawk at like a sideshow. Women and men.
@@houseofhas9355 what
I absolutely agree, I’m also old enough to remember how people in the 90s talked about getting the Pam Anderson breast augmentation and that it was pretty dangerous procedure. Now women are getting “boob jobs” like it’s just another trip to the dentist and getting other way more dangerous operations all in the sense of “looking better” or for fashion or for men. Give me an average sized butt over a BBL ANY DAY! Also same goes with boobs, personally I’ve felt both real and fake, big and small and again I’ll take small natural over large fake anytime.
Sza is a prove of how plastic surgery is such an affective thing to give you a push in life
A lot of people will claim that they’re doing it for themselves, just like they will claim they wear makeup for themselves, but it’s usually for the societal gaze because they’re concerned about how they’re physically perceived by others in general, not just men.
It’s sad that people can’t take the hard path of getting to the point of loving your own body. Aba is right in what he says which is why the cycle will continue until some drastic happens is that it works. And the more attractive you are conventionally the more opportunities you get in life and with people
As a woman, I think it's very different for celebrities than every day people
I thought they were doing it for themselves for the most part,but Preach is right,the insecurity is rooted in others people opinion of you. So yeah,i would change my answer lol
This reminds me of someone on a podcast that answered this question in saying that the only reason men say they prefer natural, but still get with chicks that got BBLs or whatever would be that they view them as rental cars. It’s solely for momentary bliss and not to be the taken seriously for a long-term relationship. It’s messed up, but social media is a big component to incentivize women to get any work done out of jealous for other women reaping the benefits of doing so through the lavish lifestyles they live from the same men I mentioned earlier.
This is a dilemma for me; I know I want to change my nose because ever since elementary school, people would ask if I was Indian or Afghan, if I was adopted, and they would tease me. They teased me because I was different, not conventionally attractive, and I blamed it on my nose. It's definitely very large and not very attractive, but even though I have a lot of self-esteem now, I still want to change it. I don't deny that I would gladly get a filler and see myself well in the mirror.
But at the same time, what sense would it make to feel good just because I have a nice nose? I mean, in terms of relationships... no one makes fun of me anymore; in fact, I receive many compliments for my unique beauty. However, I don't see myself as beautiful, barely even cute, and I hate my nose. I'm not very appealing to guys, more so for my personality, a lot, but no one turns to look at me when I walk down the street, for example. So I think, would it make sense to change and then be noticed only for my appearance? It's so sad.
Ya noses what's interesting, there's a lot of lonely people in the world, to most of them, a nose isn't a big deal.
But what are the glances even worth? What are any of these strangers' thoughts worth? You were born with this nose, you were shaped uniquely into your body and your face and your existence. Your breathing works just fine and that's more than many people can say for themselves.
Why change it? Why change your face for the petty aesthetics of others who don't even care to look past your skin to see who you are?
It is difficult and frustrating to fight the hatred - but we still need to fight to constantly remind ourselves of what truly matters. Our looks will fade in the next 10 to 15 years, if we even live that long. But a dedicated husband, wholesome kids, extended family, trustworthy friends will bless us for a lifetime - people who appreciate you regardless of how "appealing" anyone thinks you are. Our deeds and our good character will last, and go beyond the grave.
So in which will you invest? Transient, so-called beauty, or the nourishment of your heart?
Been with two women with fake boobs and I hope it never happens again. Bad natural boobs feel WAY better than good fake boobs.
THANK YOU ABA!!! Men say they like natural but then totally ignore all the women in their life who are natural 😂 like make it make sense lol
There are men dating all kinds of women. Women with surgeries, natural women, women who are large, women who are thin, etc. The idea that men like or ignore any one thing is a lie and we know it the moment it comes out of our mouths.
Don't forget Corn it is one of the major influencers of plastic surgery.
It's absolutely not 'always' attention. I've known a few girls (and guys) who have always been self-conscious and unhappy about a particular physical feature e.g. their nose, teeth, hairline, flat boobs, whatever...
It's societal peer pressure. People don't want to be outcast, pointed at, joked about, and they just want to be accepted and feel happy and confident in their own skin.
It's also often nothing to do with not being happy within yourself, but if you constantly get jokes about your nose, even if YOU are happy with it... We all just want to be accepted and receive compliments, not jokes and insults. If a nose job does that, go ahead.
Now, of course, 'most' women are squatting, getting BBL's, lip injections, and most men are using steroids because they are thirsty for attention (despite what they claim). It becomes addictive to feel desired and collect validation... It's a dangerous spiral though and leads to nothing good.
Getting surgery to be comfortable in their own skin? That by definition is them not comfortable in their own skin, because they feel the need to change it. Being comfortable in your own skin would be remaining the same and not getting the surgeries. What.
@@lzl3lol they want to feel better , and they believe that changing it might make them feel better = loving themselves.
@@jaciraguedes5691 If someone has a bump in their nose and they've been teased for it growing up don't you think that person will love themselves if they get a nose job and the procedure goes well.
You countered your point within your first paragraph. "Peer pressure" is in essence attention. Trying to "fit in" in essence is attention.
Didn't continue reading after realizing that, you're disagreeing to disagree.
Don't be obtuse attention isn't the only thing that comprises our social experiences. Attention, acceptance, praise these all reasons why and they're all predicated on external stimuli for others.
I personally wouldn't get it but I don't judge people that do. You gotta remember it isn't just women wanting to get it, sometimes the men push them to do it. My hs sweetheart pressured me to get fake boobs. I refused and we broke up. Glad I didn't allow myself to do something for a man. If you want it for yourself, do it. Don't let others pressure you one way or the other.
Thank goodness you didn’t, based on this paragraph the guy would not have stuck around even 10 years, I’m glad you broke up with him, cuz it’s you who gets the consequences of plastic surgery.
That's awful. I'm happy you stood up for yourself
8:15 no cap, that song was fire😂😂😂😂 "that's fire, turn it back up" 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂my ex said the same thing "i don't like surgery bodies" come to find out 1/3rd of his following list and DMs were surgery bodies.
Most men are deprived of female connection and contact. We don't care if she plastic or not. All that matters is , does she got a real V down there or is it also from a doctor. 😂
People are forgetting that factor when they say men like natural vs plastic. It's whatever we can get from 13-27. Then in our 30s we glow up and start smashing the whole zip code, cause we in the club now.
When it comes to mental issues like body dysmorphia, i believe they're doing it for themselves. Otherwise i think people do it for attention. A lot of the good plastic surgeries are undetectable..and YES a lot of men dont know what "nautral" really looks like.
*I work out for me, ive had curves before they were "in," and i do it to be strong.
But things like body dysmorphia stem from outside sources. You don't start to hate your body until it's being compared to others, or you're being bullied from it etc. So it's still for external validation and acceptance, which is a form of attention.
@@Ryan-wx1bi not necessarily. Some people don't like it without all of that, and never like it despite it being above average/acceptable/etc.
The problem is that 99% of women arent natural. Like for example your picture you dotn really look like that. YOu have shit ton on make up fake eye lashes etc.
When people get insecure about the way, they look, it’s always in comparison with other people, and the perceived attention one of their metric gets. It’s always for approval of others.
Unless you needed a certain modification because of a health concern, that’s all there is to it
@@borntatum9341 no its not always in comparison with other people. People can be insecure for many reasons and not always because of comparison to others.
To answer the title question, I think it can be both. As someone who’s insecure about their looks I can see how someone might want plastic surgery just so they can feel better themselves rather than please others although that’s a side effect, but there are also people who get it plainly just so others will think they’ll look better.
A women who is not insecure will never go for plastic
But everyone has insecurities tho, it just depends
@@claff4573 yea cus the video is about women goofy.
@@Nrh1109 Does that change the obsession? It all stems from people wanting to feel better about themselves, "this is the level other people take to feel better about themselves, well I can't be in that bad of a boat then."
@@michealsmith4629I don't have insecurities about looks. So it's not universal
@@claff4573 already got a women (no plastic insecure) so yes, even on christmas she is on my mind, rent free 🙏
The answer is, it depends, and it could be a little bit of both. Either way, I want a breast reduction, because after breastfeeding two children, I have such shoulder pain from the weight of these breasts. 🤷🏾♀️ I also miss wearing certain types of clothes
Preach sounding Mystikal around the 08:00 🤣😂🤣😂
It can be FOR others or BECAUSE of others. I had my lips done because i was so insecure about them, but it’s barely visible to people who know me, hence strangers. It was primarily because i got laughed at for years because of those thin lips. But i’m almost the only one who enjoys it
It's sad but I think what you wrote is true.
True. I’ve wanted a nose job since I was 11 because my best friend at the time told me I had a witch nose. then 2 other people made comments on how weird my nose is. I’m 24 now and I still want it.
I don’t have an Instagram, I don’t date, I have no attention seeking reasons. I just want it for me, but it definitely started BECAUSE of others.
7:35 that editing was a work of art💯😭😂👏🏽
My roommate and I talk about this often. I'm convinced that many men don't realize that humans look very similar. If a woman is inherently overly masculine without make up or an hourglass figure etc. Then it's impossible to look feminine naturally. When men don't realize that many of the features they like aren't natural but also swear they love the natural look I can totally see women feeling insecure. Especially when someone realizes that they're probably unlovable with the body life has given them. I would hate the way I look too.
Exactly, the whole reason i even started lifting weights was to try and appeal to women.
Then it turned into me chasing that next PR
The massive 180 on bum size ie from practically non-existent to bulging way out of proportion for a lot of physiques is proof that although there might be some universal attractive features, a lot of this is stuff is basically programmable. I think now that the Kardashian sisters are getting past their prime, the younger generation is basically rebelling against it and we're going to go back to being super skinny, bums and all.
As a man it’s hard to go from having a girl with a huge bum to a skinny plank just saying. Humans enjoy sexual attributes that are exaggerated
I wonder how much reflects wider society (in the west) and how much is driven by specific groups or what's in the media.
For example, BBL is driven by Hip-Hop standards but not all guys like Hip-Hop or Hip-Hop women.
Another interesting one I heard (ostensibly seems true) is that high fashion is filled with androgenous looking models as a lot of that part of fashion is filled with gay men. So again, not necessarily a reflection of wider society (I never understood the appeal of Kate Moss or Naomi Campbell, for example).
@@Valen-mh9fh "Another interesting one I heard (ostensibly seems true) is that high fashion is filled with androgenous looking models as a lot of that part of fashion is filled with gay men" Hah that would explain so much about models and the fashion industry and why I've never understood or connected with it. It is mostly designed to be attractive to people that the designers themselves arn't attracted to but think that's what is attractive.
@@Valen-mh9fh yeah I agree, there's always going to be a sizeable chunk of people who either know what they like individually and can't be swayed, or are going to stick with their cultural preferences no matter what, but there does seem to be a lot of people out there who are quite malleable. I wonder if people like Mila Jojovic (however it's spelt) would have gotten mainstream appeal if people knew how her brand, shall we say, of beauty got to be prominent - I agree with what you say about the androgyny of models and why that is. Do straight men really like the coat hangers for gay men's designs?
Also, I think different things just look good on different people, all sizes of bums and lips, for example, but for some reason we can only ever have one 'ideal' at a time. It's a shame, because the people that genuinely look good with flat bums, and those who genuinely look good with big ones, are still reviled as 'disgusting' out of season. It's just amazing how the season changes.
Instagram is still stuck in 2017 tho. Curvy bodies have always been popular. But now that body is becoming more and more extreme
5:04 what really needs to stop is women getting plastic surgery and then not owning up to it and telling people that they’re doing it naturally by working out
One of the wildest plastic surgeries I saw, at least when I started to pay proper attention was a lady called Megan Barton. Apparently, she made an appearance on a Tb show called Love Island.
Having seen her before and after, I must conclude she looks definitely good and better. I'm not a fan of These faeries but I also understand that insecurities exist, the question is how far are many truly willing to go and when does enough become enough for the perpetually insecure?
It's a slippery slope that definitely is bound to come with its own problems, especially in the dating or even marriage dynamics. I'd rather not deal with a woman that is still current on bodily augmentation, it's likely it won't stop and arguments may definitely ensue.
We all know... "It's for my own confidence"... Why aren't you confident? Because you're in competition with other women for attention.
We have this joke here: If you go on a date with a chick and you maintain eye contact at all times, next day she's gonna make an appointment for implants.
And it's the same for guys resorting to PEDs when training for hypertrophy: insecurities and thirst for attention. Men who train for strength don't care how their body actually looks.
Bingo. But have the audacity to blame men.
@@claff4573they forget asexual and not romantic people exist and do get surgeries
If that’s the definition of “insecure” then so be it. As a man I work out religiously, eat accordingly, drink lots of water, take care of my skin, do different face exercises, dress myself as I think looks best etc etc. I’m not competing with anyone but prior myself here
If you think women want to improve their looks only to be in competition for men then you know absolutely nothing about women. A lot of men's lives revolve soley around getting women so you guys project that onto us because you can't fathom it being any other way.
You got the PED’s example was kinda trash, people absolutely abuse steroids for strength, get that next PR. Cmon now dude.
Thank you for the introduction the sentence was literally the best summary about men and women and I admit I have thought about plastic surgery myself
I've never heard of a man who likes it
And yet these women have the most popping instagrams, often married to celebs or wealthy people & Men are constantly trying to wife these women up. These women are having millions of dudes simp away their life savings for something "they dont like" Its🧢. The truth is plenty of men who do like it or they dont mind it at all.
Whats worse, some men are not even aware that these women are not natural, they dont know theyve had botox or lip fillers or eye fillers or tummy tucks because if done well men cant tell often. They think they can because they see the bad jobs and think most surgery looks like that but it doesnt. Its kinda like how some "natty" fitness people claim natty and many men will believe it because these guys look modest. Many women arent natural and claim they got they ass in a gym, or their belly from calorie restrictions. The fraudulence online about naturalness is at an all time high.
Never heard any dude worth a damn saying he likes BBL's.
then you probably don’t know that many dudes
F&F and their audience would say otherwise
@@AbaNPreach if it's an influencer or an actor or a media personality getting these surgeries to be able to play a certain character then it makes some sense, whether or not viewers realize that it's all fake, but i feel bad for regular girls who get these things done thinking that it would benefit their dating life or make them more desirable to normal people.
Even these media personalities who look great on camera don't look as good in person
I listened to a podcast (cant remember the name) where a woman went from dating men to then start to date only women. When she did that she removed her breast implants etc she realised she did all that for men.. thats sad!
100 AGREE! I feel that elective plastic surgery is a form of self-hatred and it's just a psychological fact. I also think most of the doctors should be in jail for continually performing procedures multiple times on one person. I mean looks aren't trendy, regardless what social media promotes. You are who you are, and what these women need is therapy but nobody wants to admit ir, and instead they hide behind synthetic looks and project confidence. Thanks for shedding light on this epidemic. Love you guys!!
The thing is people like uniqueness, which is a major factor in attractiveness. The only reason big lips was a big form of attraction, was because of how unique it was at a certain point of time. But, now it's so common, I dont think people realize how it is not unique, but a sign of just another normie. People need to understand, if you have to do surgery, get surgery which can maximize your looks, safely, not to follow a fad. Beauty is about uniqueness and appeal to aesthetics
Not necessarily. The more unique you are the bigger the chance of moving away from the median beauty standard. Meaning SOME people will find you super attractive, but MOST won’t. Also the lips-thing isn’t as much about uniqueness as it is about exaggeration of a sexual connotation
For example, if a dude has a massive dick, women won’t find that cool because it’s “unique”, they’ll find it cool because it makes them hornier. Loosely explained
This is pretty true. When everyone has the same boring look it becomes average. It is why beauty trends come and come.
Merry Xmas motherflickers!
Hope you have an amazing time with your loved ones! ❤
Lol 😂
Being a child, I never had insecurities until people TOLD me how my body was “supposed” to look like:
1) I thought body hair was beautiful and even grew jealous of my arab friends whp had lots pf body hair.
2) I thought dimples were ugly (no offense, i’m just saying what I thought at the time)
3) I thought beauty was mostly about the face and not the body. So when I heard men loved bog butts, I never really understood.
Recently I found out that high cheekbones were beautiful as they represented youthfulness. I NEVER grew subconscious about my low cheekbones until I saw that post. No one does plastic surgery for themselves. If they did, everyone would operate on their own beauty standards instead of all of then looking the same.
BBLs are ONE thing. But I'll be really real. Finding in my 40s that my tits shrank was TRAMATIZING! And since puberty comes with body dysmorphia for all of us...going through yet another shift after you're finally used to yourself leaves a gal wondering if fillers are just something it's time for. Now maybe review that one Nip/Tuck ep where a man had to deal with the aftermath of breast cancer and ask if it's really all about 'male gaze' or if there are some traumas a surgical illusion makes easier to live with.