𝐈𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞? || vent

Small background about me:
Yes, I was diagnosed with ASD and Asperger’s syndrome when I was in kindergarten, but it’s a small case of it, so I technically can’t say I do have it or I don’t (basically a yes or no situation).
And, I’m an only child, and since my grandpa likes kids very much(+ I’m his only granddaughter) he spoils me rotten(same with my parents, but not as much as my grandpa).
no I don’t act like what many people read through reddit posts, I took special treatment(IDK I forgot) just so I can communicate better with those my age.
But anyways, when I was still a child (4~10 years old) my grandpa would always buy Amo Cake for me on my birthday, and personally deliver it to me on that occasion. It became a tradition.
When I was 11 or 12, my grandparents, aunt and younger uncle moved to live in the mountains(no wildlife), so my grandpa couldn’t continue the tradition, and my parents continued it on his stead instead, but it just doesn’t feel the same.
And then, my relationship with my grandma, aunt and younger uncle went upside down after I witnessed their true colors, my grandpa got dementia due to his old age. So he forgot his kids’ names, his own wife, but not me, and I don’t know why or how I even survived in his ‘memory loss’.
4 years later, me and my parents cut off contact with my grandparents, aunt and 2 uncles, because of that, I have no idea whether my grandpa’s dementia got better or worse, and I’m starting to have doubts on whether he would remember me as his only grandchild or not. I think I may or may not developed Athazagoraphobia, I REALLY don’t know.