I donated my gown to a woman who made beautiful baby gowns for the hospital to give to women who had stillborn infants. So my gown was repurposed for a wonderful use when a family truly is suffering. You might inquire in your area if a seamstress does something like this .
My grandfather passed away last year, and he was a fabulous person, but also a hoarder. It took six dumpsters and several months to clean out his house. As much as we loved him, it can sour our memories to be burdened with such a huge job in the midst of grief. In that experience, I learned that even the practical things he kept because they were “still useful” like rubber bands, we still had to throw away because they dry rotted after being left in a drawer for many years and were not useful at all. I do not ever want to do that to my family. If we are not currently using it or have a specific plan for it, it’s leaving.
I gave my gown to a young lady who needed one. She was shaped enough like me, that I knew she might appreciate it. I asked, and she cried, hugged me and cried more. It fit like a glove. No regrets. 😊
Back in 2006 we were moving and I did a ginormous decluttering. Our neighborhood was nice and had alleys. You could put anything out there and it would be gone within minutes. Within a week I saw a homeless woman wearing my wedding dress and our Weber grill was for sale six blocks away 😂 We now live in rural area and it’s much more difficult to make things go away. I miss those scavengers lol.
I was so happy to find my mother’s diaries and also letters she wrote to my dad before they were married. She wrote just as she spoke and it was like hearing her voice again. I absolutely treasure them. I don’t think there’s anything there that she’d be embarrassed or ashamed for her children to know. I would definitely have worn her wedding dress if she hadn’t already given it to my older cousin to play dressing up in.
I live in a senior apartment complex, there are times when someone moves to a nursing home or passes away and the family has to clean out the apartment, they have two weeks to do this, along with whatever other arrangements they have to deal with. Thinking of this, and not wanting to burden my children, I am on constant vigilance to declutter. The things that I have are mostly in cubes. I smile to think all they would have to move is a bunch of cubes! 🙋♀️Pennsylvania, decaf green tea…..
I just cleaned my daughter’s room for about an hour and a half. I’ll finish tomorrow. We are donating 3 bags of clothing, shoes, and a comforter. Feels soooo good!
This resonates so much. Last year my mother in law and stepdad passed away and they had SO MUCH crap. My mil lived in the same house for 60 years and she kept EVERYTHING. We’re talking even receipts and greeting cards. It took forever to clean out her house.
Oh, first comment! I believe my son was a born minimalist. He would give his still-good toys he no longer played with to other kids for birthday presents or at Christmas but not ask for replacements from me. I think the only thing we ever bought was a Barbie. I always loved that about him. It's translated into his adult life to some extent except now he uses items until they're past being nice enough to pass on.
Stumbled accross your channel and oh my this is so relevant. My mum passed a month ago....oh she has so many things! Its made me think about what my children would have to 'deal with' ...so im simultaneously decluttering my stuff whilst sorting mums x
Last year we spent 13 days filling 1.5 dumpsters of things left in an old carriage house/ garage that had had raccoons. We encountered one live rat nest, one live mouse nest and an opossum. We estimated 100 lbs of raccoons poop was discarded. We wore N95 masks the whole time and sorted for metal and hazardous waste. Very thankful for that to be done and the farmstead to be sold.
I remember the Marie Kondo show in one episode that showed a widow that had to decluttered the entire home without her husband and the struggle she had make me cry...
My mom wore her mom's gown from 1951 in 1980. A family friend made like 8x8 inch pillows out of it for all 5 of my grandma's daughters and 5x5 inch ones for all eight granddaughters. I have mine in my hutch with a picture of my grandma in it.
I stumbled upon your channel, and I am so happy I did. I appreciate your straightforward approach and your sense of humor. I am looking forward to many more sessions with you. The Swedish Death Cleaning routine is an excellent idea. My dilemma is I am a hoarder who has avoided going through my mother's things; she's been gone for a decade, so it's probably time. On top of that, she didn't go through my grandmother's things from a quarter century ago. Now I must do it all at the age of 69 so my 67 year old brother isn't stuck with disposing of the stuff from three little old ladies. Wish me luck, and if you have a tip for this special situation, I'm all ears. 👂👂👂 Thanks, Robyn💌
I've gotten a lot better at letting things go lately. 1. Useful or don't want to waste it? You're wasting your precious space and your life by keeping it and not using it (i.e., all the things you could've done with that space instead). And, it would be much more useful if you donated it to someone who would use it instead of just letting it sit there unused. 2. Afraid you might want need it some day - there are some stupid things I keep (like nice gift bags) because I know I will use them again and I hate going to the store and spending money when I don't have to. But, for other things - think about this - will you even know where it is when you do need it - or will you just end up buying a new one anyway because you have so much stuff you can't find the old one? 3. Sentimental - sentimental is a tough one, but for some things maybe you can take a picture of them instead of keeping the actual object. Also make a box so you can keep your sentiment stuff to a minimum and when you do declutter you can find ways to incorporate them back into your design. Or, try to repurpose things too (like maybe turning old sentimental t-shirts into artwork, or make a shadowbox with a few items that remind you of someone). Oh, and declutter when you're feeling in a good I want a better cleaner house mood, and remind yourself you made the decision for a reason. Well, good luck. My life is definitely getting better the more I declutter for sure.
At 72+ yrs. old , I've lost many close family members so have often gone thru the cleaning process . My parents' items were beautifully curated , high end quality but my brother & I did not share their taste in furnishings , accessories , etc. - hence sales & donations . Another thing I recently experienced w/ someone else was finding " questionable " items ( i.e. highly personal , to be tactful ) that immediately went into the trash - who wants this type of stuff to be left behind as their legacy ? ! So , years ago , learning from others , I too have downsized , sold , donated , given away , designated wishes in a will , etc. so someday my home & personal things I have left will be easier to deal with .
Concerning the wedding dress: your potential granddaughter may not want this dress. Styles will be very different then. In the meantime, if you keep it, maybe you can lend it out to people getting married. (I borrowed the dress I married in, and the owner was very pleased, and said she wanted to keep it to lend out to other people.)
I love the laundry strips!! They work!! So easy for all ages but especially us who can't lift heavy things for whatever reason. I would suggest gifting it to your mom or grandma. If they like it then set it up for them so they will get it monthly. Awesome gift to help others and the environment! No more huge heavy plastic containers.
The new Swedish Death Cleaning series on Peacock is a great way to see this played out in people’s lives. There are 3 Swedish people who help with the process.
I'm thinking about decluttering the guest book from my husband's funeral, I can't think of a reason to keep it. It's been 10 years and I've never even looked at it.
I love Swedish Death cleaning! I pulled out my wedding dress lately, it’s 28 years old, vintage, I hear. Funny thing is, I’m 5’1, that’s a real niche market someone who wants a vintage wedding dress who is also a shorty!
I can’t let my wedding dress go either. I love it so much, even though I’ve been married going on 9 years. It still fits me too! Thought about wearing it for our 10 years to renew vows and my oldest daughter said she wants me to keep it for her so there’s that! Your dress is beautiful too! Love the idea of laundry strips, I’ll have to try those! Looks super easy for children to help with laundry without using too much detergent.
I wear my wedding dress every anniversary and get pictures done. Just today a bunch of us girls had a fancy tea party birthday celebration and wore all our grad, wedding and evening type gowns. It was beautiful!! Grown up dressup💝
My dad had a 4000sf house, 3 car garage and had every closet full. I had to move him out quickly due to illness and dementia so 12,700 lbs of 86 years went to storage out of state. I'm making progress slowly but it's a burden at this point
Wedding gown & veil idea: Angel Gown program & Emma&Evan Foundation are 2 nonprofit places you can send wedding dresses. Volunteer seamstresses recycle them into beautiful infant burial gowns. These are sent to hospitals/birthing centers to support grieving families who've lost little souls far too soon. I sent my 40 yo & my mother's 70 yo wedding dresses there. My father's WWII uniform was donated as well, to a museum. Keeping all that made me sad everytime I saw them (passing of time grief).
I know a story of two people that met at young widows support group and have made a pact with each other of location and to remove the do not open box if one of them passes ❤
i am doing it now for a third time. it's very soul-cleansing i did it before i became a mommy & then again when i became an empty-nester now i'm in retirement & during covid...we'll, you know. time for another one
So glad you did this video!! I think Swedish death cleaning is sooooo important if you love your family. I say that as someone who has experienced losing both parents and the aftermath of dealing with all of their stuff. Another idea I really like in her book is to pass along family heirlooms to younger adult family members so they can start making their own family memories with them. Thanks again for another great video Robin 🙂
Great video 🤠I asked my daughter if she wanted 2 framed prints and a cross stitch sampler I made & she said "no thx" so I got rid of them. Enjoying the empty space on those walls now.
Great video! Thank you so much for sharing. PS I can still fit into my wedding gown and I cut it off for my 10 year reunion at my high school. LOL how was many years ago I love the idea of making it into a baby dress. Think I’ll do that.
My father passed away last fall. He left A LOT of stuff... Very hard to go through it. It feels like he'll be back. He was very private so I feel so strange going through it.
My daughter kept her wedding dress. 20 years later she wore it again when she and her husband renewed their vows. It was lovely! 💕 Yes it still fit her. 🤗
I kept my wedding dress for years but when my daughters got married, my dress (total 1980s vibes) was so out of style. I finally donated it. Maybe someday, the 80s will come back in style and someone out there in the world can use it. 😊
My sister bought a box that was auctioned off after a couple of dear old unmarried sisters had died. I believe it was Martha's box. The box had the instructions to throw away after I die. My sister bought it to preserve the wishes that no one open the box. However, I don't know if she destroyed the items. It is tempting to check out what this woman would have put in such a box. This was over 40 years ago.
My wedding dress went to a friend who rented out wedding dresses as it was a larger size and she had someone looking for the exact size and style. After a few rentals she asked if I wanted it back or donate to be used for still born baby gowns, I donated it as I'd had a couple of miscarriages by that point xxxxxxxxx
I'm in the process of sorting through my mother-in-law's things since she is being moved from independent living to assisted living, but she can't assisted with the process since she is in skilled nursing. How I wish she had done Swedish Death Cleaning!! I suggested some things --- like deciding who she wanted her jewelry to go to. Instead it's being left to the family. Very frustrating!! It has motivated me to decorate A LOT. 😂
Hi Robin...I just found your channel and absolutely love you! I was cracking up watching you...You are so funny!! I also learned alot from you so thank you! Ill be watching more of your videos. God Bless!❤😊
Well said. I am dealing with my husband, who is a pack rat and had a stroke 4 year ago, who is not willing to let go of many things. It likes gives him major anxiety when I even present him with the idea of decluttering. You know the 20/80 rule? Well he currently uses 2% of what he owns, 99% of the time. So, we are moving, and I'm having to pay movers to move stuff we don't need. Deep sigh.
I have a husband like this. He’s not sick but is on the hoarder spectrum. I cannot even begin to explain how much stress this causes me. I can’t even get rid of my own things and it’s slowly driving me mad! 😡🤯
Same. I "accidentally" broke MY things. Complained loudly about My things I "lost". Boxed stuff I knew he would not ask for but I could find IF he needed it. I "leant" things out knowing he would not ask for it back. If someone needed something he usually agreed to give it away. Remind him how happy it makes me that he is so helpful and now this spot looks better and we have more room for "something else" (that will be gone soon). Even my hoarder husband can't ignore some problematic things if they sit in front of him for a while (while I make sad faces). I also remind him that I can't make his favorite meal or dessert when I don't have enough room on the counters ( follow through with these promises ! ). ❤
Your wedding dress would be cute for someone to use for prom. I love to see photos of daughters that wore their mother's dresses. In one case, four generations used a dress. Adorable!
I have my simple wedding dress displayed in my office on a sewing mannequin... my mom's fancy wedding dress was professionally stored but it did end up being damaged. I was going to donate it to an organization who makes Angel dresses for babies but my little niece wanted it, she was about 9 at the time, so she dressed up in it and they took photos, which was kind of nice. I hope they will donate it in the future. I can guarantee people will open the Do Not Open Box. LOL
Label the box 'Receipts from 1976' or some other ridiculous thing, throw a few garbage things on top for good measure, and it may get opened, but quickly chucked with relief that no one needs to go through old paper junk. 🤪
I have to be in the right frame of mind to declutter....& when I am, I am like a house on fire. I don't any attention to time. I'm in decluttering mode & enjoying it. If I would set a timer & stop, I wouldn't get nearly as much done & I might even get out of the mood. I made a New Year's resolution....2023 would be the Year of the Great Purge. We've done very well so far. We've donated a ton. We've recycled another ton. Trashed probably a ton. We still have a long ways to go.....but it is so satisfying!! We knew we had so much stuff we never used. It was ridiculous but for several years we had 2 blenders. We called our first blender our "backup blender". Now is that silly or what?? We DID get rid of our first blender. There is a charity that helps local families who've had a fire or flood. They accept any kind of household item. Feels so good to give them stuff.
I could see keeping the arsenic as a celebration that they didn't have to use it and they had risen from those dark days. I have something that reminds me of how far I've come from a dark period in my life too that I escaped and when I feel unable to cope now, I look at it and see proof that I'm stronger than I think and life,even on a bad day, is WAY than it was. Having said that, it will make ZERO sense to my son when that day comes he is tossing mom's stuff. I have slowly accepted the fact that most things I'd hoped to pass on to the next generation aren't going to be welcome. And the fact my son REALLY wants a spatula...yes a kitchen spatula...over many thing I myself cherish. Why? Because it's what he used every year as far back as he remembers to make mother's day pancakes for me. One year I was decluttering and he saw it in the 'to go' box and rescued it and told me what it meant to him. So it showed me I'm a poor judge of what another will want to keep once I'm gone. But it's usually things touched every day by that person more than some China or silver stored in a box. I'm doing another layering of decluttering and this was a huge reminder to 'get real'. Thank you!
See that makes perfect sense. I was explaining this to my mom when I said the only thing I want from my grandparents is a few specific christmas ornaments. They remind me of our family Christmases as a child
Absolutely - unless we have the same decorating or fashion taste as someone, or we want sunbathing just because of the prestige or value of it, the only reason we want someone's stuff is because it's sentimental to us - and the only reason things are sentimental to us are because we tied an emotion to it - either by using it or because it reminds us of a fond memory of someone, or we were told great stories about it, or we link it to our heritage because it was linked to multiple family members we loved, etc.
I got to pick wildflowers for my aunt's wedding years ago and put them in tiny vases on the windowsills of the church. I took 4 home and every spring my kids pick dandelions, peavine and lilacs for me and I display them in those vases. I think of my aunt, and now my kids every time I have flowers in them. They are very sentimental, beautiful and functional to me😍
@@juanitaglenn9042 That's lovely. And violets or dandelions gifted by the little hands of a child are the sweetest flowers of all. And the looks of pride on their faces! 💚
And my children’s christening gown I donated but I kept my christening rug my grandma made we have all used this and it’s in my memory box , everything else had no real attachment because I bought off the shelf . But my grandma made this blanket
I have taken the christening rug out of my memory box my son has just had a child and I don’t know if they are going to christen him but I’m giving him the option to use it or he can get rid of it
if someone in the family doesn't want to wear it you could have a ring pillow and a garter made out of the material and donate the rest of the material to the Angel Society for babies.
I decluttered my three wedding dresses yes three and my deb dress and my sisters wedding dress and my mother’s dress from her brothers wedding and no one has said where is it ?
I was raised in a hoarder home and it was traumatizing. I'm an adult now and I force myself to get rid of things every day even though everything I own fits in my car just because I'm afraid of becoming a hoarder. If you can't do it on your own get professional help, especially if you have kids, you have no idea how much it affects your children's mental health.
I'm all for a death cleaning... I have a close friend who once had a sister. The very next day after the sister died, her husband/now newly widowed, found some letters compromising the past of his already dead wife. Overall - it was tragic. He loved her very much, but what he learned was so shocking that it put their entire 40-year life together in a completely different light. His pain at losing her was compounded by the hatred he suddenly felt for her. Moreover, he could no longer talk to her and demand an explanation, so he turned his hate toward my friend, who was his sister-in-law and had absolutely nothing to do with the findings he discovered. The pain of losing a loved one is one thing; the pain of finding out that your life together was a 40-year lie is different... So, please. If you have anything that could compromise you in the eyes of your loved ones, and you've (almost) forgotten that such a thing exists, pls, do the cleaning/decluttering/find the damn thing and get rid of it! ASAP.
Oh my goodness. The trash truck is coming up our driveway as I write this. It won’t come again for two weeks. Your post convinced me to get rid of my high school year books. I was absolutely out-of-control wild in high school. It’s well documented. 😮 Hopefully. I won’t die in the next two weeks, as I missed the truck. (But great call.) Ooo… I just remembered, we have a dumpster at our office. (I can destroy the evidence! 😀) 🙏🏻
I keep all my postcard and cards from birthday and etc because it is enough to remind me of the gits, the person who gifted to me and if later on someone will read will remember both
My mother kept every card that dad gave her in 51 yrs. of marriage & those before when they began dating ! Neither my brother or I wanted them as we have our own collections to deal with .
@@cynthiajohnston424 but it is only 2 ppl that you know very well. Think about the Dna test or the family tree ppl are trying to recreate now... I don't think is useless
@@cynthiajohnston424 still. Haven't met my father yet even though I know all of my father's family side, so it is interesting how everyone has his own story and his own experience. Sorry for your loss
You go, Jule's Uncle! If he still had sex toys at that age, he deserves for you to bring them to his nursing home, along with a nice bottle of scotch as a salute!
Kahlil Gibran said "All you have shall some day be given; Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors’". Now if I could just get my kids and grands to come pick up up all this stuff I've been saving for them. I feel like I should charge rent to store all this stuff for them.
😂😂😂 If you aren't actually, physically moving to a tiny house off the grid in rural Nunavut TODAY, your children will procrastinate forever because they "don't have the room" for it. Or they'll pick it up soon. Crazy, but that's part of the reason I'm looking for a smaller house. No kidding.
I am 65 and my daughter who throws everything away said" I just think you should keep wedding dresses Mom". So I kept my Moms she is 88 and mine we have been married for 46 yrs. Thanks
Unless you pay to have it professionally cleaned and stored it will be covered in those weird rust stains by the time your granddaughter gets it. Lovely dress that could be easily adapted to suit most people.❤❤
I actually read that you shouldn't keep it in a bag - because it needs air or will turn orange. (Or, I think a fabric bag is ok, I don't know.) I keep fine in my closet regular. But, I should've gotten it cleaned after I used it and I didn't.
I do have a daughter and she didn’t want to wear it -last summer lol. I will prob donate it to the people who make baby dresses out of them for still born babies. 😢
I hope all the people out there with a "destroy upon my death" box just go ahead & destroy it THEMSELVES! That's the whole point of SDC, get rid of the way too personal and/or embarrassing things BEFORE you die! Your kids never need to know who you really are. Let them have the memories of who they think you are. Its just better that way.
January 2024. I'm 74, I try to get rid of stuff every day. I toss stuff, recycle stuff, and give stuff away. I don't climb much anymore so my high shelves are mostly empty. I do crafts, but I try to keep my craft supplies within limits. I don't have lots of clothes, I never have had lots of clothes. I love costume jewelry, and I wear it. I like sparkly, colorful jewelry. I just don't want to leave a mess. Tina, Al's wife
Your family isn't going to throw away a box that says throw away. Curiosity will win. Don't put things in a diary that u don't want someone else to read.
Trash the dress. Once your dead and the next is dead and the next all the connection is gone. Set yourself and all your loved ones free. Passing it on places un needed burden on them.
My 89 year old mom still has her wedding dress. She has no grandchildren and will never have grandchildren 😞. We suggested donating for angel dresses and she was horrified by the idea.
I donated my gown to a woman who made beautiful baby gowns for the hospital to give to women who had stillborn infants. So my gown was repurposed for a wonderful use when a family truly is suffering. You might inquire in your area if a seamstress does something like this .
I also did this several years ago. She sent me some pictures of the dresses she made. Lovely. Never regretted letting it go!
that's such an amazing gift
that is such a great idea
Oh that's such a beautiful idea and thing to do. I wish someone could do that locally here.
That is a wonderful way to pass along a gown. 🌷
My grandfather passed away last year, and he was a fabulous person, but also a hoarder. It took six dumpsters and several months to clean out his house. As much as we loved him, it can sour our memories to be burdened with such a huge job in the midst of grief. In that experience, I learned that even the practical things he kept because they were “still useful” like rubber bands, we still had to throw away because they dry rotted after being left in a drawer for many years and were not useful at all. I do not ever want to do that to my family. If we are not currently using it or have a specific plan for it, it’s leaving.
I’m sorry for your loss, but completely love how you are approaching his stuff
I gave my gown to a young lady who needed one. She was shaped enough like me, that I knew she might appreciate it. I asked, and she cried, hugged me and cried more. It fit like a glove. No regrets. 😊
That’s so wonderful! 💕
Back in 2006 we were moving and I did a ginormous decluttering. Our neighborhood was nice and had alleys. You could put anything out there and it would be gone within minutes. Within a week I saw a homeless woman wearing my wedding dress and our Weber grill was for sale six blocks away 😂
We now live in rural area and it’s much more difficult to make things go away. I miss those scavengers lol.
I was so happy to find my mother’s diaries and also letters she wrote to my dad before they were married. She wrote just as she spoke and it was like hearing her voice again. I absolutely treasure them. I don’t think there’s anything there that she’d be embarrassed or ashamed for her children to know. I would definitely have worn her wedding dress if she hadn’t already given it to my older cousin to play dressing up in.
That’s so lovely
I live in a senior apartment complex, there are times when someone moves to a nursing home or passes away and the family has to clean out the apartment, they have two weeks to do this, along with whatever other arrangements they have to deal with. Thinking of this, and not wanting to burden my children, I am on constant vigilance to declutter. The things that I have are mostly in cubes. I smile to think all they would have to move is a bunch of cubes!
🙋♀️Pennsylvania, decaf green tea…..
Good attitude Linda ❤️
Been there as the one having to go through the stuff- so difficult!
I just cleaned my daughter’s room for about an hour and a half. I’ll finish tomorrow. We are donating 3 bags of clothing, shoes, and a comforter. Feels soooo good!
Great job 👏 what a good mom!
This resonates so much. Last year my mother in law and stepdad passed away and they had SO MUCH crap. My mil lived in the same house for 60 years and she kept EVERYTHING. We’re talking even receipts and greeting cards. It took forever to clean out her house.
It's a real challenge
Karen, my late in-laws had 60 years of grocery lists!
@@bethheerten1132 OMG 😳 That is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying lol!
My 75 year old mom asked if I would be offended if she threw my card away so now no card. Not because I care but it saves $3.
Maybe it’s a form of final revenge - to leave your crap for someone else to deal with.
On Facebook you can hide your selling objects from your contacts, there is an option for that, just saying 😉 (I hope it really works)
Oh, first comment!
I believe my son was a born minimalist. He would give his still-good toys he no longer played with to other kids for birthday presents or at Christmas but not ask for replacements from me. I think the only thing we ever bought was a Barbie. I always loved that about him. It's translated into his adult life to some extent except now he uses items until they're past being nice enough to pass on.
Aww, that's great
Love this!!
Stumbled accross your channel and oh my this is so relevant. My mum passed a month ago....oh she has so many things! Its made me think about what my children would have to 'deal with' ...so im simultaneously decluttering my stuff whilst sorting mums x
I’m so sorry for your loss 🤍
Last year we spent 13 days filling 1.5 dumpsters of things left in an old carriage house/ garage that had had raccoons. We encountered one live rat nest, one live mouse nest and an opossum. We estimated 100 lbs of raccoons poop was discarded. We wore N95 masks the whole time and sorted for metal and hazardous waste. Very thankful for that to be done and the farmstead to be sold.
Wow!! That is a lot of work!
I remember the Marie Kondo show in one episode that showed a widow that had to decluttered the entire home without her husband and the struggle she had make me cry...
Aww, that must have been sad. I think I remember that one
My mom wore her mom's gown from 1951 in 1980. A family friend made like 8x8 inch pillows out of it for all 5 of my grandma's daughters and 5x5 inch ones for all eight granddaughters. I have mine in my hutch with a picture of my grandma in it.
I stumbled upon your channel, and I am so happy I did. I appreciate your straightforward approach and your sense of humor. I am looking forward to many more sessions with you. The Swedish Death Cleaning routine is an excellent idea. My dilemma is I am a hoarder who has avoided going through my mother's things; she's been gone for a decade, so it's probably time. On top of that, she didn't go through my grandmother's things from a quarter century ago. Now I must do it all at the age of 69 so my 67 year old brother isn't stuck with disposing of the stuff from three little old ladies. Wish me luck, and if you have a tip for this special situation, I'm all ears. 👂👂👂 Thanks, Robyn💌
My tip for you is to start. Just start anywhere and work for 30 mins.
I've gotten a lot better at letting things go lately.
1. Useful or don't want to waste it? You're wasting your precious space and your life by keeping it and not using it (i.e., all the things you could've done with that space instead). And, it would be much more useful if you donated it to someone who would use it instead of just letting it sit there unused.
2. Afraid you might want need it some day - there are some stupid things I keep (like nice gift bags) because I know I will use them again and I hate going to the store and spending money when I don't have to. But, for other things - think about this - will you even know where it is when you do need it - or will you just end up buying a new one anyway because you have so much stuff you can't find the old one?
3. Sentimental - sentimental is a tough one, but for some things maybe you can take a picture of them instead of keeping the actual object. Also make a box so you can keep your sentiment stuff to a minimum and when you do declutter you can find ways to incorporate them back into your design. Or, try to repurpose things too (like maybe turning old sentimental t-shirts into artwork, or make a shadowbox with a few items that remind you of someone).
Oh, and declutter when you're feeling in a good I want a better cleaner house mood, and remind yourself you made the decision for a reason.
Well, good luck. My life is definitely getting better the more I declutter for sure.
At 72+ yrs. old , I've lost many close family members so have often gone thru the cleaning process . My parents' items were beautifully curated , high end quality but my brother & I did not share their taste in furnishings , accessories , etc. - hence sales & donations . Another thing I recently experienced w/ someone else was finding " questionable " items ( i.e. highly personal , to be tactful ) that immediately went into the trash - who wants this type of stuff to be left behind as their legacy ? ! So , years ago , learning from others , I too have downsized , sold , donated , given away , designated wishes in a will , etc. so someday my home & personal things I have left will be easier to deal with .
What a precious gift that you are leaving for those you love. This is my goal as I get older.
@@helenasantos-collins6400 As we age , our perspective of " things " & who & what has meaning in our lives changes , hopefully for the better . 💙
Good for you Cynthia!
Concerning the wedding dress: your potential granddaughter may not want this dress. Styles will be very different then. In the meantime, if you keep it, maybe you can lend it out to people getting married. (I borrowed the dress I married in, and the owner was very pleased, and said she wanted to keep it to lend out to other people.)
yep, as soon as any granddaughters say no, it's gooooone!
I used some of the lace from my mom's dress to make a sash for mine. And, I made a new veil out of her veil.
I use laundry sheets already (different brand) and I LOVE them! Don’t think I’d ever go back to liquid or pods.
I love the laundry strips!! They work!! So easy for all ages but especially us who can't lift heavy things for whatever reason. I would suggest gifting it to your mom or grandma. If they like it then set it up for them so they will get it monthly. Awesome gift to help others and the environment! No more huge heavy plastic containers.
I agree! My mom loves hers
OMG Robyn, such a great video…your message was not only valuable but absolutely Spot On! Thanks so much for this👏💕
Thanks bette!
The new Swedish Death Cleaning series on Peacock is a great way to see this played out in people’s lives. There are 3 Swedish people who help with the process.
Oh neat!
I'm thinking about decluttering the guest book from my husband's funeral, I can't think of a reason to keep it. It's been 10 years and I've never even looked at it.
I love Swedish Death cleaning! I pulled out my wedding dress lately, it’s 28 years old, vintage, I hear. Funny thing is, I’m 5’1, that’s a real niche market someone who wants a vintage wedding dress who is also a shorty!
I'm the same height!
I dyed my wedding dress and had it shortened so I can rewear it as a formal dress. Only works if you have a fairly plain dress though!
I can’t let my wedding dress go either. I love it so much, even though I’ve been married going on 9 years. It still fits me too! Thought about wearing it for our 10 years to renew vows and my oldest daughter said she wants me to keep it for her so there’s that! Your dress is beautiful too!
Love the idea of laundry strips, I’ll have to try those! Looks super easy for children to help with laundry without using too much detergent.
Thank you Stephanie
I wear my wedding dress every anniversary and get pictures done. Just today a bunch of us girls had a fancy tea party birthday celebration and wore all our grad, wedding and evening type gowns. It was beautiful!! Grown up dressup💝
Your dress is beautiful! Even if no one ever wears it, just getting to show it to a grandchild one day will be so special. Good choice!
Thanks Helena! Good point!
My dad had a 4000sf house, 3 car garage and had every closet full. I had to move him out quickly due to illness and dementia so 12,700 lbs of 86 years went to storage out of state. I'm making progress slowly but it's a burden at this point
Oh boy, that’s a big job!
I made a fairy outfit for my daughter out of my wedding gown.. She loved it!
This is such a brilliant idea - love Swedish Death Cleaning principles 😊
Glad you’re finding it helpful! I like it too!
Wedding gown & veil idea: Angel Gown program & Emma&Evan Foundation are 2 nonprofit places you can send wedding dresses. Volunteer seamstresses recycle them into beautiful infant burial gowns. These are sent to hospitals/birthing centers to support grieving families who've lost little souls far too soon. I sent my 40 yo & my mother's 70 yo wedding dresses there. My father's WWII uniform was donated as well, to a museum. Keeping all that made me sad everytime I saw them (passing of time grief).
awww, that a sweet idea. yep, as soon as any granddaughters say no, I'll do that
I know a story of two people that met at young widows support group and have made a pact with each other of location and to remove the do not open box if one of them passes ❤
Such a great idea!
i am doing it now for a third time. it's very soul-cleansing
i did it before i became a mommy & then again when i became an empty-nester
now i'm in retirement & during covid...we'll, you know. time for another one
That's great Julie
So glad you did this video!! I think Swedish death cleaning is sooooo important if you love your family. I say that as someone who has experienced losing both parents and the aftermath of dealing with all of their stuff. Another idea I really like in her book is to pass along family heirlooms to younger adult family members so they can start making their own family memories with them. Thanks again for another great video Robin 🙂
Thanks sweet B!
My mom says "I want you to be burdened".😆 I'm an only child so it tracks.
Great video 🤠I asked my daughter if she wanted 2 framed prints and a cross stitch sampler I made & she said "no thx" so I got rid of them. Enjoying the empty space on those walls now.
Good for you Loretta!
Great video! Thank you so much for sharing. PS I can still fit into my wedding gown and I cut it off for my 10 year reunion at my high school. LOL how was many years ago I love the idea of making it into a baby dress. Think I’ll do that.
I love Tru Earth and I feel so much better not throwing away a big plastic jug that the liquid detergent was in...plus it works Great!!
I just love your positivity!
Thank you!
My father passed away last fall. He left A LOT of stuff... Very hard to go through it. It feels like he'll be back. He was very private so I feel so strange going through it.
That's interesting and makes a lot of sense
I'm so sorry. It is incredibly hard when a parent passes on.
♡. Maybe you'll find things that will give you some insight into his personality that will help you understand him better and why he was so private.
My daughter kept her wedding dress. 20 years later she wore it again when she and her husband renewed their vows. It was lovely! 💕 Yes it still fit her. 🤗
I kept my wedding dress for years but when my daughters got married, my dress (total 1980s vibes) was so out of style. I finally donated it. Maybe someday, the 80s will come back in style and someone out there in the world can use it. 😊
Vintage style dresses are making a comeback, sure people would like your gown. I think it’s a very classy piece.
Thank you Helen!
My sister bought a box that was auctioned off after a couple of dear old unmarried sisters had died. I believe it was Martha's box. The box had the instructions to throw away after I die. My sister bought it to preserve the wishes that no one open the box. However, I don't know if she destroyed the items. It is tempting to check out what this woman would have put in such a box. This was over 40 years ago.
That’s the problem. It’s so tempting.
Lol One of my fears is that I'll go senile and start blabbing about stuff I've done and stuff I know about people that should be taken to the grave!
@@edennis8578 Me too! Ugh! Getting old and senile sucks.
how interesting!
I love how you described the viking burial process...you made me laugh out loud!
💪🏼🤣👍🏼
My wedding dress went to a friend who rented out wedding dresses as it was a larger size and she had someone looking for the exact size and style. After a few rentals she asked if I wanted it back or donate to be used for still born baby gowns, I donated it as I'd had a couple of miscarriages by that point xxxxxxxxx
That's so sweet Debbie
This was lovely. Thank you. Life is good!
Life IS good!!
I'm in the process of sorting through my mother-in-law's things since she is being moved from independent living to assisted living, but she can't assisted with the process since she is in skilled nursing. How I wish she had done Swedish Death Cleaning!! I suggested some things --- like deciding who she wanted her jewelry to go to. Instead it's being left to the family. Very frustrating!!
It has motivated me to decorate A LOT. 😂
Good for you Pam!
Just found your channel--you are so refreshing!
Thank you Lucy!
Robyn, I loved this video so much, I love how you think!
Thank you!
Hi Robin...I just found your channel and absolutely love you! I was cracking up watching you...You are so funny!! I also learned alot from you so thank you! Ill be watching more of your videos. God Bless!❤😊
Where did you get your tree wall art above your bed? 😍
From these guys www.etsy.com/ca/shop/Westcoastkitsch
Well said. I am dealing with my husband, who is a pack rat and had a stroke 4 year ago, who is not willing to let go of many things. It likes gives him major anxiety when I even present him with the idea of decluttering. You know the 20/80 rule? Well he currently uses 2% of what he owns, 99% of the time. So, we are moving, and I'm having to pay movers to move stuff we don't need. Deep sigh.
I am so sorry.
Oh goodness, you will get there. I'm sorry about your husband's stroke.
I have a husband like this. He’s not sick but is on the hoarder spectrum. I cannot even begin to explain how much stress this causes me. I can’t even get rid of my own things and it’s slowly driving me mad! 😡🤯
Same. I "accidentally" broke MY things. Complained loudly about My things I "lost". Boxed stuff I knew he would not ask for but I could find IF he needed it. I "leant" things out knowing he would not ask for it back. If someone needed something he usually agreed to give it away. Remind him how happy it makes me that he is so helpful and now this spot looks better and we have more room for "something else" (that will be gone soon). Even my hoarder husband can't ignore some problematic things if they sit in front of him for a while (while I make sad faces). I also remind him that I can't make his favorite meal or dessert when I don't have enough room on the counters ( follow through with these promises ! ). ❤
I feel your pain!
I love true earth... I have been using it for a few years now....
Facebook marketplace lets you hide your listings from your friends list. I always turn that feature on since I often sell gifts I don't use.
Your wedding dress would be cute for someone to use for prom. I love to see photos of daughters that wore their mother's dresses. In one case, four generations used a dress. Adorable!
I like that too!
You had me going right up to the COMMERCIAL right in the middle. No thanks. Am bombarded enough with ads.
You tube has ads. You can pay to have youtube without ads.
That’s what we do too
😂😂😂😂 I love the second face book account!!!🙌😂
I have my simple wedding dress displayed in my office on a sewing mannequin... my mom's fancy wedding dress was professionally stored but it did end up being damaged. I was going to donate it to an organization who makes Angel dresses for babies but my little niece wanted it, she was about 9 at the time, so she dressed up in it and they took photos, which was kind of nice. I hope they will donate it in the future. I can guarantee people will open the Do Not Open Box. LOL
I think they will too!!!
Label the box 'Receipts from 1976' or some other ridiculous thing, throw a few garbage things on top for good measure, and it may get opened, but quickly chucked with relief that no one needs to go through old paper junk. 🤪
I also use the laundry strips. The boys do their own laundry. Win , win for me ❤❤❤
Yes!
I have to be in the right frame of mind to declutter....& when I am, I am like a house on fire. I don't any attention to time. I'm in decluttering mode & enjoying it. If I would set a timer & stop, I wouldn't get nearly as much done & I might even get out of the mood.
I made a New Year's resolution....2023 would be the Year of the Great Purge. We've done very well so far. We've donated a ton. We've recycled another ton. Trashed probably a ton. We still have a long ways to go.....but it is so satisfying!! We knew we had so much stuff we never used.
It was ridiculous but for several years we had 2 blenders. We called our first blender our "backup blender". Now is that silly or what?? We DID get rid of our first blender.
There is a charity that helps local families who've had a fire or flood. They accept any kind of household item. Feels so good to give them stuff.
I had letters and diary entryS from a relationship other than that of my husband. I burned them in the street.
Yes ! I found some " personal things " of my husband 's after he died - trashed immediately !! 😠 So much for happy memories ...
Good idea!
I'm purging right now my mother's hospital stuff after 5 years 😢
Oh, I’m so sorry
I could see keeping the arsenic as a celebration that they didn't have to use it and they had risen from those dark days. I have something that reminds me of how far I've come from a dark period in my life too that I escaped and when I feel unable to cope now, I look at it and see proof that I'm stronger than I think and life,even on a bad day, is WAY than it was. Having said that, it will make ZERO sense to my son when that day comes he is tossing mom's stuff. I have slowly accepted the fact that most things I'd hoped to pass on to the next generation aren't going to be welcome. And the fact my son REALLY wants a spatula...yes a kitchen spatula...over many thing I myself cherish. Why? Because it's what he used every year as far back as he remembers to make mother's day pancakes for me. One year I was decluttering and he saw it in the 'to go' box and rescued it and told me what it meant to him.
So it showed me I'm a poor judge of what another will want to keep once I'm gone. But it's usually things touched every day by that person more than some China or silver stored in a box. I'm doing another layering of decluttering and this was a huge reminder to 'get real'. Thank you!
See that makes perfect sense. I was explaining this to my mom when I said the only thing I want from my grandparents is a few specific christmas ornaments. They remind me of our family Christmases as a child
Absolutely - unless we have the same decorating or fashion taste as someone, or we want sunbathing just because of the prestige or value of it, the only reason we want someone's stuff is because it's sentimental to us - and the only reason things are sentimental to us are because we tied an emotion to it - either by using it or because it reminds us of a fond memory of someone, or we were told great stories about it, or we link it to our heritage because it was linked to multiple family members we loved, etc.
I got to pick wildflowers for my aunt's wedding years ago and put them in tiny vases on the windowsills of the church. I took 4 home and every spring my kids pick dandelions, peavine and lilacs for me and I display them in those vases. I think of my aunt, and now my kids every time I have flowers in them. They are very sentimental, beautiful and functional to me😍
@@juanitaglenn9042 That's lovely. And violets or dandelions gifted by the little hands of a child are the sweetest flowers of all. And the looks of pride on their faces! 💚
I cut mine up and made it into a silky little robe for my daughter to wear while she was getting ready for her wedding.
Oh that is SO sweet!
And my children’s christening gown I donated but I kept my christening rug my grandma made we have all used this and it’s in my memory box , everything else had no real attachment because I bought off the shelf . But my grandma made this blanket
I have taken the christening rug out of my memory box my son has just had a child and I don’t know if they are going to christen him but I’m giving him the option to use it or he can get rid of it
if someone in the family doesn't want to wear it you could have a ring pillow and a garter made out of the material and donate the rest of the material to the Angel Society for babies.
Thanks Charla, great idea
I can't lie, I would most definitely, one hundred percently, open it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha, right??
I decluttered my three wedding dresses yes three and my deb dress and my sisters wedding dress and my mother’s dress from her brothers wedding and no one has said where is it ?
I was raised in a hoarder home and it was traumatizing. I'm an adult now and I force myself to get rid of things every day even though everything I own fits in my car just because I'm afraid of becoming a hoarder. If you can't do it on your own get professional help, especially if you have kids, you have no idea how much it affects your children's mental health.
Absolutely
Same here! My mother and sister are hoarders and it give me so much anxiety and I’m scared to death of becoming like them 🥺
@@jenpisano5954 I'm so sorry!!! I know, It's so scary, especially because OCD tendencies can be passed down genetically. You won't become like them ❤️
@@little.pixiedoll Thank You so much! 🥰
I'm all for a death cleaning...
I have a close friend who once had a sister. The very next day after the sister died, her husband/now newly widowed, found some letters compromising the past of his already dead wife.
Overall - it was tragic.
He loved her very much, but what he learned was so shocking that it put their entire 40-year life together in a completely different light. His pain at losing her was compounded by the hatred he suddenly felt for her. Moreover, he could no longer talk to her and demand an explanation, so he turned his hate toward my friend, who was his sister-in-law and had absolutely nothing to do with the findings he discovered.
The pain of losing a loved one is one thing; the pain of finding out that your life together was a 40-year lie is different...
So, please.
If you have anything that could compromise you in the eyes of your loved ones, and you've (almost) forgotten that such a thing exists, pls, do the cleaning/decluttering/find the damn thing and get rid of it! ASAP.
Oh my goodness. The trash truck is coming up our driveway as I write this. It won’t come again for two weeks. Your post convinced me to get rid of my high school year books.
I was absolutely out-of-control wild in high school. It’s well documented. 😮
Hopefully. I won’t die in the next two weeks, as I missed the truck. (But great call.)
Ooo… I just remembered, we have a dumpster at our office. (I can destroy the evidence! 😀) 🙏🏻
I keep all my postcard and cards from birthday and etc because it is enough to remind me of the gits, the person who gifted to me and if later on someone will read will remember both
Oh how interesting, I declutter ours because we get so many between the 5 of us.
My mother kept every card that dad gave her in 51 yrs. of marriage & those before when they began dating ! Neither my brother or I wanted them as we have our own collections to deal with .
@@cynthiajohnston424 but it is only 2 ppl that you know very well. Think about the Dna test or the family tree ppl are trying to recreate now... I don't think is useless
@@vanessaandreatta9098 My brother , who was much older than I , has since passed away ; no other family remain as they too passed away years ago .
@@cynthiajohnston424 still. Haven't met my father yet even though I know all of my father's family side, so it is interesting how everyone has his own story and his own experience. Sorry for your loss
My uncle had to go to a nursing home quickly and when we cleaned out his place we found his sex toys. 🤣
EXACTLY!! 😆
You go, Jule's Uncle! If he still had sex toys at that age, he deserves for you to bring them to his nursing home, along with a nice bottle of scotch as a salute!
Kahlil Gibran said "All you have shall some day be given; Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors’". Now if I could just get my kids and grands to come pick up up all this stuff I've been saving for them. I feel like I should charge rent to store all this stuff for them.
Maybe set a deadline?
😂😂😂 If you aren't actually, physically moving to a tiny house off the grid in rural Nunavut TODAY, your children will procrastinate forever because they "don't have the room" for it. Or they'll pick it up soon.
Crazy, but that's part of the reason I'm looking for a smaller house. No kidding.
It does work! ☺️
It sure does!
My cousin is much taller than her mom. When my cousin got married, she had a seamstress make the bodice of her dress from her mom's dress.
Awww, nice
I am 65 and my daughter who throws everything away said" I just think you should keep wedding dresses Mom". So I kept my Moms she is 88 and mine we have been married for 46 yrs. Thanks
NUTs! Love that one.
It’s good right?
Unless you pay to have it professionally cleaned and stored it will be covered in those weird rust stains by the time your granddaughter gets it. Lovely dress that could be easily adapted to suit most people.❤❤
I actually read that you shouldn't keep it in a bag - because it needs air or will turn orange. (Or, I think a fabric bag is ok, I don't know.) I keep fine in my closet regular. But, I should've gotten it cleaned after I used it and I didn't.
"Do Not Open" will make family members all the more curious.
I think so too!
Your hair looks nice!
I do have a daughter and she didn’t want to wear it -last summer lol. I will prob donate it to the people who make baby dresses out of them for still born babies. 😢
I hope all the people out there with a "destroy upon my death" box just go ahead & destroy it THEMSELVES!
That's the whole point of SDC, get rid of the way too personal and/or embarrassing things BEFORE you die! Your kids never need to know who you really are. Let them have the memories of who they think you are. Its just better that way.
You’re probably right Michelle
January 2024. I'm 74, I try to get rid of stuff every day. I toss stuff, recycle stuff, and give stuff away. I don't climb much anymore so my high shelves are mostly empty. I do crafts, but I try to keep my craft supplies within limits. I don't have lots of clothes, I never have had lots of clothes. I love costume jewelry, and I wear
it. I like sparkly, colorful jewelry. I just don't want to leave a mess. Tina, Al's wife
Congratulations to you & thanks for sharing all this! Enjoy your crafts and cozy home!
What to do with loads that I don't have anybody to donate to
Perhaps a charity can come pick it up?
A group of friends and I have an agreement where we write each others names on our do not open boxes with instructions for each other to destroy.
I LOVE that idea!
Your family isn't going to throw away a box that says throw away. Curiosity will win. Don't put things in a diary that u don't want someone else to read.
Trash the dress. Once your dead and the next is dead and the next all the connection is gone. Set yourself and all your loved ones free. Passing it on places un needed burden on them.
Nooo keep it
yep, as soon as any granddaughters say no, it's gooooone!
I don't think I can watch this video today. I just lost my 89 year old mom yesterday.
I am so sorry to hear that. ❤
So sorry for the loss of your mother. I know that not even 89 years is enough.
I'm so sorry for your loss
Thank you ❤️
So very sorry
❤👍
I washed my dress and sold it- I do have a daughter-
I’m packing up my belongings, I am donating and giving to family. I have heirlooms that no one wants I don’t know should I donate .
You definitely could if you don't want them and no one else wants them
I give gift cards , I don’t like giving money as I feel it will be wasted but a gift card is different 😅
Is your friend sure the arsenic wasn't part of a recipe for mouse and rat poison?
Hmmm, I wonder 🤔
My 89 year old mom still has her wedding dress. She has no grandchildren and will never have grandchildren 😞. We suggested donating for angel dresses and she was horrified by the idea.
Awww, bless her
Take empty hangers out of the closet I have no empty hangers in my wardrobe. I hang my clothes on hangers to dry .
What a boat costs , two millions dollars
Oooh, nice boat!
Fulskåp, pronounced something like: foolscorp, meaning ugly cupboard!
Thank you!