I think it’s difficult to really understand how this works unless you engage with it. You listen to essence of that voice, you love and befriend it, you ask it what it wants or needs (this part can be very surprising/interesting sometimes), you thank it for carrying the burden that it’s carried for you, you thank it for trying to help or protect you, you let them know that you are an adult and can manage these things now, they can be freed of their tiring job/role. You ask, what would you rather be doing? They let you know and there may be grief and relief. It’s quite incredible.
@harounben342 for every single negative thought, I say (-sometimes out loud) shut the F UP BECAUSE I'M THE BOSS AND YOU NO LONGER GET TO LIVE RENT FREE IN MY HEAD. It's a technique I got from listening to Kris Godenez on TH-cam. She also suggests mirror work. You have to DE program your brain and re parent yourself. Build your self esteem.
This was such a great episode!! I saved to re-watch it. If every single person was taught this and practiced a lifestyle around self-compassion, the world be such a better place. I hope so many people see his work. It's life-changing!! ❤❤
That’s part of the IFS therapy model: that so many of us live ruled by our manager parts. And while they do an important, thankless, and exhausting job, in the long run the control becomes precarious and causes the body to live in a constant state of low level stress from that internal suppression of specific areas of the brain/nervous system/mind. It is also possible to understand, emphasize, and release the critic from its thought patterns rather than to suppress/jail it. At least that has been my experience.
@@jscire__872 My critic is a like a narcissist, unrelenting and cannot be negotiated with. But there other parts of me that are just scared and afraid of feeling pain. I tend to have a part i call the responsible parent who lovingly calls me out and wants me to be better but doesn't decimate my self esteem.
@@julin8597 That does sound familiar. What has worked for me has been reminding myself and my parts that all the powerful protector parts have protective intents towards you even when their actions don’t seem or aren’t good or positive at face value. Slowly and gently establishing dialogue may take a while but the most important aspect is how you feel towards the critic when you begin: you should feel empathetic, curious, and neutral of any forceful agenda. If you feel afraid of, disgusted by, or admiration for (etc.) the critic it’s helpful to gently ask the parts who feel those things to relax back and give you space to ask the critic what it’s doing for you and what it thinks would happen if it didn’t do its job. I think it’s definitely worth it to keep having these inner dialogues and slowly guiding the system of one’s mind towards a more free and balanced state.
I think it’s difficult to really understand how this works unless you engage with it. You listen to essence of that voice, you love and befriend it, you ask it what it wants or needs (this part can be very surprising/interesting sometimes), you thank it for carrying the burden that it’s carried for you, you thank it for trying to help or protect you, you let them know that you are an adult and can manage these things now, they can be freed of their tiring job/role. You ask, what would you rather be doing? They let you know and there may be grief and relief. It’s quite incredible.
Perfect synopsis!
Yes experiencing is transformational
My inner voice is kind and gentle. I replaced my abuser's voice LONG AGO. I am in charge of my thoughts!
How did you do it?
@harounben342 for every single negative thought, I say (-sometimes out loud) shut the F UP BECAUSE
I'M THE BOSS AND YOU NO LONGER GET TO LIVE RENT FREE IN MY HEAD. It's a technique I got from listening to Kris Godenez on TH-cam. She also suggests mirror work. You have to DE program your brain and re parent yourself. Build your self esteem.
I’ve used Internal Family Systems for two years now. It’s made an enormous difference in my life!! ❤️
Love Dr. Schwartz’s work!!
So true! Just focus and listen to the voices in you. Fighting them is a losing battle.
This was such a great episode!! I saved to re-watch it. If every single person was taught this and practiced a lifestyle around self-compassion, the world be such a better place. I hope so many people see his work. It's life-changing!! ❤❤
The full video this came from is really really good with some useful gems in it, even if you've already done or been doing a lot of your inner work.
Link me to it pleaee
@@harounben342 th-cam.com/video/f80xs3MN9mY/w-d-xo.htmlsi=zR876k6lvenmZx1k
There's true gold in these words.
Now, this is something for me to chew on but I gotta say that man gets it ❤
Brilliant
Using this within the Bright Line Eating Program. 😊
Shadow work.
How do you do that?
Sounds like a Carl Jung reference, For what it's worth
Damn, I thought I was just crazy 😅
No my inner critic is to be ignored it serves no purpose. But it’s there and I have to learn to manage it and even dispel it.
That’s part of the IFS therapy model: that so many of us live ruled by our manager parts. And while they do an important, thankless, and exhausting job, in the long run the control becomes precarious and causes the body to live in a constant state of low level stress from that internal suppression of specific areas of the brain/nervous system/mind. It is also possible to understand, emphasize, and release the critic from its thought patterns rather than to suppress/jail it. At least that has been my experience.
@@jscire__872 My critic is a like a narcissist, unrelenting and cannot be negotiated with. But there other parts of me that are just scared and afraid of feeling pain. I tend to have a part i call the responsible parent who lovingly calls me out and wants me to be better but doesn't decimate my self esteem.
@@julin8597 That does sound familiar. What has worked for me has been reminding myself and my parts that all the powerful protector parts have protective intents towards you even when their actions don’t seem or aren’t good or positive at face value. Slowly and gently establishing dialogue may take a while but the most important aspect is how you feel towards the critic when you begin: you should feel empathetic, curious, and neutral of any forceful agenda. If you feel afraid of, disgusted by, or admiration for (etc.) the critic it’s helpful to gently ask the parts who feel those things to relax back and give you space to ask the critic what it’s doing for you and what it thinks would happen if it didn’t do its job. I think it’s definitely worth it to keep having these inner dialogues and slowly guiding the system of one’s mind towards a more free and balanced state.
❤
yeah :)
Just make up your mind