@@cascadehopsrule one of nurture and deep care and interest for another tiny human being. Compassion for children being upset - contrary to being quick to feeling annoyance. And of course, I think, deep respect and love for the partner. That is at least what I'm feeling currently (although I have no partner). I will probably never have children or a partner again though, due to psychiatry poisoning me two years back.
@TheDavveponken I don't disagree, I think things change generationally, for better or worse. I always thought I should see a psychiatrist, never did, but I also hear people complain about there experiences with psychology. I still think people who are aware of parenting issues would make better parents, don't sell yourself short. Did you ever ask Jesus for help? I know for a fact he's doing something in my life, alot of supernatural things I'm not fully aware of. I know atleast I'm going through deliverance. I hope things get better for us
Following repeated abuse, I lashed out, asking my abuser, my birth-giver, "What led you to bring me into this world?" She, flustered, relayed this to my dad, who proceeded to shame me for posing such an "inappropriate" question. Even now, it's weaponized against me to induce shame.
I think that many people just have unprotected sex without thinking about the potential consequences. They lack foresight and judgement and while doing the deed, they may even be drunk or high. That is probably what happened with your parents and it embarrasses them that you would bring it up because it sheds light on their weaknesses.
mine 95 % just pouts & huffs and puffs without an answer whenever i ask the question to my birth giver. However I did get an answer twice. "I had you in order to make time pass faster!" & "in order to own something of my own!"
You don't need kids for that. You'll pass it into society itself directly to people you interact with as well as through your economic and political "choices".
@@x97s To me I took it as an honor, because my dad believed I was like him..... Because what son doesn't want to be like their father(a good father). Now I realize that he says this so that i will "Fall in line," and gaslight me into such. It's all about control. They don't care bout you, it's all about them. Like you said "Goofy." I also realize it makes it so that adult-children cannot differentiate themselves or be their own person. "You're MY Mini-ME" You aren't your own person you are "MINI ME" and that means you're supposed to do everything I say/do.
I am 37, I asked my mum a few years ago, why did she create me. Her answer "Coz I want a more fulfilled life" wtf to that Also, my friend asked me "why are you not having kids", I said "coz they will die" She hasn't talked to me since. Btw she now has 2 kids So, yes, selfishness, denial etc etc, all ridiculous reasons to have kids
@@katieandnick4113 How about respect to your opposition? You're going to block someone just because they clash in opinion. Another good example of why humanity is horrible.
@@katieandnick4113 "Because the world is wonderful I cannot resist bringing another soul to enjoy life here." But ofcoz, the world isn't wonderful, she has failed me totally. She just wanted a person that she could use for her own purposes and I happened to not be able to reject her, since I could not reject being created.
I'm 38 and always ask myself why my parents, who were lowly educated and unemployed at the time, brought two children into a world of poverty that we now have to work so hard to get out of for the rest of our lives.
I've been highly critical of society and the state of the world up until I started seriously taking my childhood traumas seriously. In the past two years I've started having this "conversation" with my parents and all of what you say here is spot on. It all happens exactly as you say. I'm the bad guy, ir the sick one, I'm a mystery, I'm confusing, or intimidating. My social life has fallen apart and reduced to the simplest. It's hell. But I feel true and don't regret it, because I now know how to get stronger and survive this hell,and start anew. Having children? What a joke. How could I? Not because of the world, the world is the way it is because of how messed up and stunted, and powerless I grew up to be. I don't blame society for screwing up my parents, I blame their parents. But then I blame my parents directly for not revolting, for being okay with their sorry state, being in a rush to fit in, for having kept screwing themselves more, and then, to have screwed myself up to make themselves feel they knew what they brought up into the world. They had no idea. They have no idea who I am, what I feel, what I could have been had they waited and grew up and healed. It pains me to let go of the ones who were supposed to love me for who I am, but I can't live in a lie anymore. Thank you Daniel for being true and showing what is truly important.
The idea that everyone ought to have children is as unreasonable as expecting perpetual growth of economy. Actually, these two areas are correlated - if the economy system cannot accomodate new life, either: change the system, or don't bring new life into it.
sure, once and that should be remedied by being more thoughtful parents, however that usually doesn't happen and what's worse, they keep on making more kids...
It reminds me of how many people fantasize of terraforming Mars or colonizing the skies of Venus yet they don't put that same effort into fixing the planet we already have
Great point. Also, video games that provide such escapism prolly do not help matters. Imagine what all that brain power channelled into community solutions could solve right down here on earth.
@@frankstared yeah, enough complex problems to fix right under our noses. Do some community work. Get politically active. Help a lonely neighbour. And give yourself some space and credit in the meanwhile. But that `s not a Sexy Idea. And it doesnt generate tons of profit for malicious corporations and gouverments. Imagine a healthy world! The big shots would be out of work and out of ill-earned dollars
Hi, I'm 63 with two grown up's now but have always said the same. To be a good Mum or Dad is the hardest job in the World . We have CHOSEN to do it, each and every day the child COMES FIRST!! Don't look for praise, it is NOT about the parent! The World has become a horrific place. I'm glad I'm virtually on my way out .@@WJValente
Misanthropic attitudes make me sick. The ability to maintain nuanced thinking and not oversimplify or take on a reductionist perspective is extremely important for us to stay in touch with reality.
Personally can't watch this one. I asked my parent, and they were taken aback as if surprised, refusing to talk about it. People don't seem to appreciate just how bad things are nor how much worse they will become. The prime motivator of our society is to extract value from everything and everyone until the point of collapse. Without reform, we will further our personal hell. We as individuals can find meaning, joy, and connection in this world -- but in aggregate, the systems that be are not for us.
What drives me craziest is that if people would just quit burying their heads in the sand, we could actually fix a lot of society's problems. I assume they live their personal lives the same way, ignoring elephants in the room and not dealing with the worst sht in their own lives. It only makes things worse in the long run.
@@ChildrensRightsFirst947 exactly, indeed, if we all start to get to work effectively, a bunch of serious problems could be solved in 2 generations or so. But the `all` is the catch here I suppose
I'm the youngest of six children. In my early 20s, I was financially broke and desperate. I asked my parents for help. My father said, "Why should we help you?" I was flabbergasted. I had never asked for money before. I had always sought to be as independent as possible. I was so upset by my parents' lack of compassion and care, I said, "Why did you have so many children?" My father said - and I quote - "Because we wanted to share our love." I wanted to vomit. It was so deluded. His role, as he saw it, was to make the money. He had stuff all involvement with his children. Love? I never saw him love anyone.
For many sick people, the word 'love' means self-hope. For others who've been harmed by them though the sick person's love is actually abusive to others.
I’m also the youngest and got the message to not need or ask for what I really needed. That’s the underlying message of materialism. You must have been extremely desperate to go to your parents. You were only supposed to add never need to take.
This story is as funny for its irony as it's sad. He sounds so shut down to himself and consequently everybody else. I imagine somebody mowing grass religiously to golf green height, without fail saying it's to make sure it grows taller than the tallest person.
@@HideYourKarmaChameleon I don't think my father's intention was to humiliate me. As for "figured it out him", I'm not sure what that means. I haven't figured out my father, but perhaps his own understanding is greater now that he's dead.
@gimmelicorice she replied that there was no contraception. In the UK at that time, the contraceptive pill had only been available for a few years. She was the coldest hearted woman.
oh, before she died. Like `dont have the guts to face the consequences for this revelation so I ll wait till Im on my deathbed, then people after me can deal with this` . Very recognisable. My parents aint dead but I perfectly can imagine my parents pulling such a stunt. I would very softly wisper in their ears: `A little bit too late for that, dont you think?`
@@efsmoore2274 At least she was honest. Her feeling, surely, is most common than one might wonder...at least you could move on quickly with no misunderstanding.
Personally, I have come to the conclusion, that this is the only ethical way forward. Overpopulation, bleak future and children suffering in care facilities on their way to drug addiction and continuing the cycle. Adoption is unaffected by these problems.
@@homeland1128 haha, tell me you know nothing about what it"s like to be adopted without telling me you know nothing about what it's like being adopted!!
The parents will be ashamed because they know that the true answer to that question is, "Because I'm selfish." I answered this question before I even listened to the video! 😁🤭 OMG! It makes me so happy to know that there are others who are wise, intelligent, and RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH to not only understand but to actually accept this truth.
Hear, hear ❤ not to mention, there are so many children who'd need a good parenting since they're already here, abandoned - foster, adopt, care and work with children if you love them. xx
Try adopting a kid or being a foster parent in the U.S. It's a hoop jumping production like no other. And any adult who wants to be a mentor to kids gets accused on being an abuser.
@@darcyroyceHe's right. People have to go overseas to adopt there because of the bureacracy to get it done here. We tried to adopt and came to conclusion that CPS and family court didnt want us to adopt because they get more money per kid they keep in the system
@@alexxx4434 Obviously this is the problem that has us here, but your statement says we should continue doing that. That is totally irresponsible. Please do not have children and pass on your issues to them. Just because this is "litterally what our soociety has been doing for centuries" is exactly the problem. Don't be mindless and thought less and carry on. Think, be conscious and break the mould of the past and be a thinking human being.
@@joshrivers5191 because she has eyes and the courage to see the world and the suffering in reality. (Same here by the way:) And please don't come to me with your sweet little fairytale of this great "god" of suffering and punishment, that I - once a devout Christian myself - understand so very well. If you are brave enough take a look at the book "the denial of death" by Becker and study terror management theory. You will see, that religion and culture are just made up because necessary for humans to cope with the fact and FEAR that we all DIE. Possible in every moment and without our control and without an afterlife. There is no other sense in it than biological life itself. Hard pill to swallow. And if you can't cope, it is better and safe to stay in your bubble, because it gives you meaning and propose. I understand.
@@anigemini3958 I fear no knowledge that is truth thus far. You seem well aquainted with the material world and none other which is all too common currently in the disenchanted parts of the world. Science is your religion which was born from superstition and consensus of a few. Your faith in science and some book on the New York Times Best Seller list is ironic though I imagine this comment falls on deaf ears ( or should I say blind eyes?). I await the paradise your brand of rationality and "facts" will oppose upon the world with baited breath. I pray for the well being of future children who will have to grow up under the regime these all too common sentiments will inspire.
@@anigemini3958 So you switched from the Bible and priests to The Denial of Death and psychologists? A materialist. How unique. You actually think science has all the answers? It takes no bravery to look into The Denial of Death or Terror Management Theory. I just did. Neither seem to be fact but speculation just like the THEORY of evolution and the big bang THEORY. Nor are they particularly frightening ideas to my mind. I'm not a Christian.
Thankyou for saying what many of us have been thinking. I can’t help but feel sad when a child is born bc i know how much they will suffer & struggle to survive in the current conditions of today’s crumbling society
I’ve asked my parents this & they say they wanted kids so they had them. I thought that was a very naive way to view the act of having children. I’ve come to find out that they’ve been effectively brainwashed by the mainstream media. Quite unfortunate. Children are raised by stepford parents around here.
You live in the richest civilization in the richest period in human history You have access to a free education online that your forebears could only dream of. You have electricity and AC, access to cars, air travel and the internet. You're also living in a relatively peaceful period of time even with the wars going on. Most countries are at peace. Your issue is that your simply unaware of how much harder life was before and you buy into the media and social media garbage. The world is fine, your perspective is messed up and spoilt.
@@joblakelisbon way to invalidate my experience as a human. Being oppressed is so fun & glamourous & rich, right. Why you feel the need to leave bullshit like this on a page about healing from childhood trauma is beyond me but i am thoroughly triggered & disturbed by your blatent ignorance
@@joblakelisbon Way to invalidate my experience as a human, real nice... Being oppressed is so fun, glamourous, & rich, right... Why you feel the need to leave bullshit like this on a page about healing from childhood trauma is beyond me but i am thoroughly triggered & disturbed by your blatent ignorance. I shouldn’t need to explain to you (especially since you think you know so much) that you don’t know anything about me nor what i do or don’t know about anything, but here i am having to explain it to you.
I’m GenX and don’t have children because I lost my only competent parent to cancer when I was ten, and then was held in extrajudicial punishment for a year and a half before I was trafficked by a fraternal organization here in California in the 1980’s. I’m attempting to obtain some justice in the civil court now, but it isn’t going well, because *white collar trash doesn’t like to disparage their colleagues.* 😳 I had *no freaking idea* just how strong the denial and gaslighting in the psychological services industry is. It’s breathtaking. Thank you for your giving to others like this, Mr. Mackler! ☮️❤️🐾
And thank YOU for the validation that what I figured would be alot of indifference, at best, if I were to pursue justice down that sort of path. For now, anyway, I'm creating my own restorative justice within my own realm, maintaining "No Contact" with all them.... Good luck with anything you can get outta the path you're already on, since you got that far! Why not?! ❤
When I complained to my mom that why they chose to have baby knowing they are uneducated and poor, my mom said the same thing. I responded with "Well you shouldn't have recruited in the first place!" But actually, I know why she chose to have the third baby(me). It was because we are Asian and my dad's family need a boy to "carry on the family line". I am still a girl btw. I'm glad my mom didn't keep trying though.
u know what's dope about the brain? when u hit 22-24 (at the last stages of growth of the brain) u start questioning beliefs ur parents told u. it's just the way it is. try to find the unbiased truth bud, not just the truth that satisfies your feelings. for that may stunt your evolution in the long run, and really living with THE unbiased truth will make it easier and easier as time goes on.
@@Fawn91193 while I do like the idea of living in a rural area and bushcraft. I'm not running away from the psychological traumatized children and allowing them to walk all over me. I'm going to live my life as healthy as possible and if folks have a problem with that. Then that's a them problem not mine
@@Fawn91193 however yeah the tap into your trust thing is good advice. However I'm not running away from evil nonsense because that makes the situation worse
"What do you mean, 'why I decided to have children'? Well, it's just... I just wanted children, because, because... just... what do you mean 'why'?" That's pretty much the response I got when I asked her the question. Not even an attempt at clever rationalization.
Daniel, you are so right 💔 I'm almost 30 and have gone through this. My father abandoned me and thought just because he has a biological role in my existence he could appear 27 years later and have a relationship... it is wild how selfish people are. But it has all led me to focus on healing, bringing good into the world as much as I can, relieving suffering, and deciding not to have children. People always say I would be a great mom, and it stings because a part of me wants that. So glad you share your videos, it's empowering and validating. 🙏💚💚
I don't know if your financial situation is stable enough for it but maybe you could adopt. It's often the people who are intelligent enough to decide not to have kids who can raise them right
We have considered it and might explore it in the future once we do more research and if we have reached some of our financial goals. Currently saving for a house 🙂@@ffffffffffffffff5840
Spot on. I’m one of the “ask why” kids, I’m 22. I reflected about this on my own for a while and this was the conclusion I came to as well. I was born to be a shiny object of my parents life… also so my dad could trap my mom My partner and I don’t want kids. I genuinely find it unethical given the trauma I have and with how messed up the world is
This video needs to go viral !!! Such deep truth ! I’m 33 and the best accomplishment in my life is that I did not bring any children into this world thank goodness. When I confronted my little brother, asking why are you and your wife so set on having a baby ? His response 😳 to give us purpose and reason to live! Wow 😯 pathetic
Because they saw sex as a novelty activity to counteract boredom rather than a sacred act of creation perhaps? This is why sex before marriage was so taboo on in the past, because they realised it was extremely serious and inherently linked to bringing children into the world
This is why sex is the hex. The greatest trick. I laugh at anyone who isn't celibate. Most are just animals. I will die in peace knowing I never played with the flame of another's existence.
If life is so good to you in every single way and you think its a shame not to bring another person into it, i can kind of get it, but this is not most peoples life. Most people are miserable slaves. I will probaby never forgive my parents for creating me just so I can be a wage slave with no life. It break my heart when every day the sun is shining and I have to stare at a screen for 8 hours. Thats all society made life to be. We live to work, not work to live.
@@hetedeleambacht6608 Yeah, every time I go to nature, i feel great and thankful to be alive almost. Moving to a rural area carries its own problems. I am 100% a city kid, so starting from 0, I think I would be a terrible farmer, plus in my part of the world, it would mean 0 social life and 0 girls. It all sucks, no matter what you do.
❤ I ask this to myself, why do i need kids in my life. This world is evil and full of trauma. Why just why?? My parents had different expectations like, they would need someone to attach to or they need someone to take care of them. But i dont expect anything from anyone. I ask this question alot and i urge people should ask this question before they want to become parents.
I have abstained from marriage: 1) I come from a long line of bad marriages & saw long ago I would likely make all the same mistakes & continue a legacy of familial pain. 2) Our species is an abberation that causes so much damage to everything around us (human & non-human).
I literally think this all the time when I see people with babies. Boggles my mind how clueless or selfish people still are. And I curse my mother for not aborting me every day. Because she chose to have me in spite of knowing that she would be a single mother struggling with financial instability. It was purely a selfish decision for her. She wanted a little doll to play with, thinking it would bring emotional relief and companionship, rather than healing through therapy or self awareness. Stop having kids period. Rescue an animal from a shelter or adopt from all the unwanted children already in the world if you really feel called to be a parent! Because it is not sustainable or justifiable at all
unfortunately i strongly relate with "She [the mother] wanted a little doll to play with". it's a crushing realization to have and not too difficult to understand it between the lines after enough time.
Your channel has saved my life. This thought triggers that thing in my brain that makes me worry that somehow all of your content will one day, for whatever reason could be removed from TH-cam. Please tell me you have a catalog backed up offline? Truth tellers, no matter what genre or context are usually suppressed.
Till now, I still don't understand why people want to have kids. It is incredible how so many people "love" kids so much so as to procreate. It is an innately selfish act. I was raised in a Christian environment and it is not unheard of when people have kids so as to populate the world. I really cannot fathom.
Some people argue that we live in the best times ever. The poverty is lowest. Child death is on the lowest. Standard of living is on its highest. We have healthcare, electricity and can travel. Yes, we have all the comforts of modern living. But also depression is on the highest - which we try to cover up by drugging ourselves with toxic drugs. National debts are on the highest. Environmental degradation is on the highest. Our numbers which cause it are on the highest. The earth is facing climate disaster. We grow most mammals in cages vs wild mammals, which are just tiny part of all. We already farmed most fish in the ocean. We farm most plains, taking it for our monocultures to feed livestock and zero value processed foods. We cut forests and destroy natural habitats. We are on the brink of 6th mass extinctions. And we could end it all with nuclear annihilation becouse of conflicts which are a way for us to deny the above. All flowers and rainbows. Perfect world for a newborn.
I'm almost 40 and childless. I don't want kids bc I noticed that the world is becoming a horrible place. I fear for my own future in this world where food and beverages are controlled by less than 10 companies and communities are being fragmented by Western culture
@@krielsavino5368"I can have what I want when I want because I am special, I am me" .......strangely my mother also had this mentality back in 1961 🤣🤣🤣🤣
153,000,000 orphans in this world, but ask a someone why they want kids, and it’s always “I wanted, I needed, I felt, I I I. It’s never about the kids.
You do realize something doesn’t have to happen to you for you to understand it right? I figure you’ve experienced hunger before? We’ll just imagine that wanting of food but for intercourse, there you go
You must give him that: he is brutally honest. We can use some honesty. Not always a pleasant message, but it needs to be said. Thank you Daniel. You deserve a medal
I have two kids and I try to be honest with them since I made a commitment to healing myself. II didn't know much about how the world worked when I sleep-walked into getting married and having kids. I thought it was a normal healthy thing to do when one has the means and the opportunity, though admittedly I was fooling myself into believing I was "awake., aware and questioning" at the time. In reality., I still didn't have much of a clue just how bad things were. There was a weakness in me- trauma induced as I now understand it- that prevented me from looking far enough down this rabbit hole to really appreciate how far it goes: Just how dishonest and manipulative people are. The 2020 - 22 Lockdown was a real eye opener. I saw how people treat each other like dirt just to avoid dealing with their own faults or guilt. Thankfully my two kids and I came out of it *relatively* unharmed psychologically and jab-free, but I can't say the same for too many others I know.
yeah that time was a real test. I also came out of it relatively okay and jab-free, but I moved countries in the middle of it 'cause my ex country imposed very harsh policies. However, it opened my eyes up to how evil people can become to each other by an artificially created division, overnight, and I've never seen people, society the same way since.
Love your videos Daniel! Have followed you since 2,000 followers., now it's growing into a much larger community. Please keep up the good work going, there aren't many people sharing their honest opinion about our origin family and how they shape us in a profound way🙌
To show how much ego is attached in lots of people that "want" a child/family - ask them why they don't adopt instead - you'll get a diplomatic answer why that's not for them. Also once they are parents watch how they react when they realize their child is different than them and wants an unconventional life. It doesn't sit well with them. And how come most parents quickly bought into the idea that outsourcing parenting to daycare, school, TV, Ipad, video games, baby sitters, nannys, junk food and similar is the new norm? Because it's convenient and lets the parents have plenty of me time, btw me time isn't just about having a relaxing time, it's also choosing career or a hobby over being a present parent and so on. Lastly listen to the conversations at work - most parents keep venting day after day how their home life sucks and how their kids and spouses drive them nuts...
I already new this when i was 5 or so, now Im 43....every day i stumble through this world in amazement about the egoism, ignorance and stupidity of people and society as a political and economical structure, just when I thought humankind couldnt get any more wayward I read something in the newspaper like......and those are the people and gouvermnets that decide for a big part how my life is going to be, and I dont have a say in so many things. But I know I have to change my own attitude because this doesnt help me one bit.....
I have not had children for selfish reasons . Because the Western lifestyle is so boring . How boring to drop off a kid at school every day and how stressfull to be locked into a neverending workcycle. I know in a better environment i would have children
@@NJGuy1973There's no such thing as a better environment. There is only the present. You can only make the best environment you can each day. That's what living on Earth is. Create the optimal environment with what you have daily for yourself and your tribe. Survive.
@@NJGuy1973 Good question, For having kids I think i need an older century country lifestyle. But that could be a pipe dream because society was tough as back then. But simpler. Didn't have to get permission from the government first to do anything
@@user-zq8pp3ul2c As this video put it, we in the US may be living like that 50 yrs from now. th-cam.com/video/AUsBloT4jZo/w-d-xo.htmlsi=B5aIdG7s-RyERa4x
My mum was brutally and beautifully honest... She realised she was raped within marriage and told me. She could not get an abortion (illegal thanks to government and patriachal and catholic crap. Mum explained how she could not look at me at birth..asked nurses to take me out of sight. She spent years inand out of psych wards...with dad playing happy families and caring husband of 'mentally ill' wife. Mum apologised when I said I was bored as a child... She told me I did not ask to be born and no child does. She said children need to be happy...deserve to be happy. My mother told me the truth of her sexually abusing me. At least she could not always pretend! Still is agony trying to heal. I knew from her truth NOT to make unhappy lives, never had children but really am thankful for and enjoy trying to help children who are not 'mine'. Quit the romance, look around at our planet. Quit raping and sick addictions by talking your truth from the inside out.
Very brave, Daniel : D. And that kind of honesty is why I love this channel. I mean, at the very least there should be required, rigorous testing to make sure that a couple is mentally fit and knows answers for how to parent before getting a breeder license.
Fantastic video Daniel, completely agree with you 💯. I think most people don't have a clue who they actually are. I'm on the self discovery path, no partner, no children. The only loving relationship I have is with myself to be the father to the young pure child I once was. I am his protector and carer. Wouldn't have it any other way.
I love children so much that I refuse to willingly subject them to such indignity. Shop around, dear souls, there is surely a better world out there than this one!
Good video Daniel. Trapped in a stressful cycle of survival, the only way out is death. Please have empathy. You don't have to bring another innocent soul here to experience this so-called "life." You may love this monotony of a life, what if your child does not and choose to opt out?taking oneself out is so violent. To bring a life here, is to put burden on them. What if they dont want to work, dont want to do nothing but exist? You call them lazy and entitled, when it was you who impose all these responsibilities onto them from bringing them here. You are the one responsible for life not until age 18. All they can do is cope everyday, looking for things to keep their un satiated mind occupied (drugs/alcohol/addiction/etc). Tell me, would you like you child to suffer pain, sickness, diseases before he/she finally dies? We all have to go through this process of death, just hope you get a painless one, better not to experience it by not even existingin the firstplace. Look around. People and animals go through so much, and this world is just evil. This is talking from a privileged point of view, I have "made it" in this life, but I would never bring another soul here to suffer and see others suffer. We kill to eat and compete with one another for resources or just selfishness.(watch the documentary "Dominion" on TH-cam). We are living in a brainwashed matrix society, perpetuating suffering. Antinatalism.
A person's immediate world can be a wonderful place with great parents and a great family despite whatever is happening on the news. It is true that things are probably going to continue to get shittier in the world but eventually things will turn around for the better. But that can only happen with strong healthy moral families
شيء محزن .. انا اشاركه نفس المشاعر بس للاسف لن يفيد البكاء على الاطلال او تقليب المواجع و لوم الذات و التعمق فالماضي لانه الناس لن تتغير ابدا فلن يفيد البقاء في دائرة اللوم والسلبية القاتلة لانه عامة الناس لا تعترف ب اخطائها ابدا ولهم الف تبرير لافعالهم حتى وهم على الغلط … الماضي يستحضر منه الحكمة لاختيار القرارات و الناس الصحيحة وليس لتعذيب الذات مثله لن يرتاح الضمير طالما هناك غل و حقد فالقلب مستمر و كلامك صحيح واضح انه ما تجاوز الماضي للان بعد هذا العمر
You know you never really get over being neglected or abused as a child right? You just learn to cope with it better. What was the trigger point for you? Have you got children?
Optimism and hope? I had a pretty messed up life but I am grateful for being alive. I don't expect anything from my kids relating to me ie they don't have to spend time with me when they grow up or take care of me but they can count I'll be in their corner when going through difficult times. I hope they are functional content adults and hopefully make world a little bit of a brighter place, just like I am trying to 🤷♀️
An existential ponzi scheme for meaning
That's an amazing way to put it, would make a great book title
Beautifully put
Their children are the equivalent of an emotional support animal 🐕
children are dogs in their eyes. Dumb and helpless but simultaneously tiny adults, when it suits the parent.
I think you nailed this one!👏
Too bad have no fluffy fur.
Serious question, what innate feeling should you have to want babies.
@@cascadehopsrule one of nurture and deep care and interest for another tiny human being. Compassion for children being upset - contrary to being quick to feeling annoyance. And of course, I think, deep respect and love for the partner.
That is at least what I'm feeling currently (although I have no partner). I will probably never have children or a partner again though, due to psychiatry poisoning me two years back.
@TheDavveponken I don't disagree, I think things change generationally, for better or worse. I always thought I should see a psychiatrist, never did, but I also hear people complain about there experiences with psychology. I still think people who are aware of parenting issues would make better parents, don't sell yourself short. Did you ever ask Jesus for help? I know for a fact he's doing something in my life, alot of supernatural things I'm not fully aware of. I know atleast I'm going through deliverance. I hope things get better for us
Following repeated abuse, I lashed out, asking my abuser, my birth-giver, "What led you to bring me into this world?" She, flustered, relayed this to my dad, who proceeded to shame me for posing such an "inappropriate" question. Even now, it's weaponized against me to induce shame.
It's the most appropriate question, especially since they use their power over you to abuse.
I think that many people just have unprotected sex without thinking about the potential consequences. They lack foresight and judgement and while doing the deed, they may even be drunk or high. That is probably what happened with your parents and it embarrasses them that you would bring it up because it sheds light on their weaknesses.
mine 95 % just pouts & huffs and puffs without an answer whenever i ask the question to my birth giver. However I did get an answer twice. "I had you in order to make time pass faster!" & "in order to own something of my own!"
I’m sorry this happened to you; you deserve(d) better.
its your parents who are pathetic, not you
If I don't have children, who's gonna carry on my neuroses after I'm gone?
Some things shouldn't be paid forward.
Your coworkers and others in society you abuse directly, through your economic "choices" and your political "choices" of course!
You don't need kids for that. You'll pass it into society itself directly to people you interact with as well as through your economic and political "choices".
Your channel and insights are excellent! Thank you for your videos. I'm 40, single and no children but i feel a lot of shame from society
😂😂😂
God, my dad even named me after himself. Called me his mini-me. What a dork.
I wasn't named after my father, but he would call me his "mini-me..." Yet would abuse me, and let his wife abuse me.
I can relate to this my father did the same, goofy asf.
@@x97s To me I took it as an honor, because my dad believed I was like him..... Because what son doesn't want to be like their father(a good father).
Now I realize that he says this so that i will "Fall in line," and gaslight me into such.
It's all about control. They don't care bout you, it's all about them.
Like you said "Goofy."
I also realize it makes it so that adult-children cannot differentiate themselves or be their own person. "You're MY Mini-ME" You aren't your own person you are "MINI ME" and that means you're supposed to do everything I say/do.
i used to wonder this constantly as a child. then i realised i was brought into the world for the ego of other people
I am 37, I asked my mum a few years ago, why did she create me. Her answer "Coz I want a more fulfilled life"
wtf to that
Also, my friend asked me "why are you not having kids", I said "coz they will die"
She hasn't talked to me since.
Btw she now has 2 kids
So, yes, selfishness, denial etc etc, all ridiculous reasons to have kids
What do you think would be a good response from her? Or one that is acceptable to you?
@@katieandnick4113 How about respect to your opposition? You're going to block someone just because they clash in opinion. Another good example of why humanity is horrible.
@@katieandnick4113 "Because the world is wonderful I cannot resist bringing another soul to enjoy life here."
But ofcoz, the world isn't wonderful, she has failed me totally. She just wanted a person that she could use for her own purposes and I happened to not be able to reject her, since I could not reject being created.
@cristianaraujo9293lmao which era are you even from? Ever heard of apps like Facebook / Instagram?
@cristianaraujo9293 lmao which era are you even from? Ever heard of Facebook / Instagram?
I'm 38 and always ask myself why my parents, who were lowly educated and unemployed at the time, brought two children into a world of poverty that we now have to work so hard to get out of for the rest of our lives.
Appalling
they probably hoped you'd get them out of poverty
Stop whining, Jesus Christ.
Are you happy to be alive?
@@joblakelisbonOnly once I went no-contact. The self-harm feelings went away.
I can't think of a single reason to have children that isn't inherently selfish. I love my future kids too much to have them.
I've been highly critical of society and the state of the world up until I started seriously taking my childhood traumas seriously. In the past two years I've started having this "conversation" with my parents and all of what you say here is spot on. It all happens exactly as you say. I'm the bad guy, ir the sick one, I'm a mystery, I'm confusing, or intimidating. My social life has fallen apart and reduced to the simplest. It's hell. But I feel true and don't regret it, because I now know how to get stronger and survive this hell,and start anew.
Having children? What a joke. How could I? Not because of the world, the world is the way it is because of how messed up and stunted, and powerless I grew up to be. I don't blame society for screwing up my parents, I blame their parents. But then I blame my parents directly for not revolting, for being okay with their sorry state, being in a rush to fit in, for having kept screwing themselves more, and then, to have screwed myself up to make themselves feel they knew what they brought up into the world. They had no idea. They have no idea who I am, what I feel, what I could have been had they waited and grew up and healed. It pains me to let go of the ones who were supposed to love me for who I am, but I can't live in a lie anymore.
Thank you Daniel for being true and showing what is truly important.
Couldn't have said it better.Thankyou.
This question made me study anti-natalism. It made me understand: you don't HAVE to have children.
And sometimes it's more than just " they don't have to" but they mustn't
@@zineb3351 exactly 👏
@@zineb3351 we're not here to decide that. We're not gods over someone else's life.
The idea that everyone ought to have children is as unreasonable as expecting perpetual growth of economy. Actually, these two areas are correlated - if the economy system cannot accomodate new life, either: change the system, or don't bring new life into it.
Ya you can be "productive" or "succeed as an adult" in other ways.
A lot of kids are born simply because of misjudgement
sure, once and that should be remedied by being more thoughtful parents, however that usually doesn't happen and what's worse, they keep on making more kids...
Yes, and a LOT of people were conceived by sheer carelessness or habit
It reminds me of how many people fantasize of terraforming Mars or colonizing the skies of Venus yet they don't put that same effort into fixing the planet we already have
It's easier to fantasize.
Great point. Also, video games that provide such escapism prolly do not help matters. Imagine what all that brain power channelled into community solutions could solve right down here on earth.
exactly. right, that. The perversity of that idea is mind boggling denial
@@frankstared yeah, enough complex problems to fix right under our noses. Do some community work. Get politically active. Help a lonely neighbour. And give yourself some space and credit in the meanwhile. But that `s not a Sexy Idea. And it doesnt generate tons of profit for malicious corporations and gouverments. Imagine a healthy world! The big shots would be out of work and out of ill-earned dollars
See: The EthiSizer. the-ethisizer.blogspot.com/
Agreed. If becoming parents require an exam, most people would fail.
Hi, I'm 63 with two grown up's now but have always said the same. To be a good Mum or Dad is the hardest job in the World . We have CHOSEN to do it, each and every day the child COMES FIRST!! Don't look for praise, it is NOT about the parent! The World has become a horrific place. I'm glad I'm virtually on my way out .@@WJValente
i agree with a parent license otherwise forced abortions. you need a license for a car but not to raise a human!
@@Italian69BoiOnly slaves have licenses.
Elon Musk "We need to keep the population growing"
Voltaire "the comfort of the rich depends on an abundant supply of the poor"
Misanthropic attitudes make me sick. The ability to maintain nuanced thinking and not oversimplify or take on a reductionist perspective is extremely important for us to stay in touch with reality.
I'm actually just curious... Are you agreeing or disagreeing with the original comment?
Another brutally honest and amazing video about the truth.
Personally can't watch this one. I asked my parent, and they were taken aback as if surprised, refusing to talk about it. People don't seem to appreciate just how bad things are nor how much worse they will become. The prime motivator of our society is to extract value from everything and everyone until the point of collapse. Without reform, we will further our personal hell. We as individuals can find meaning, joy, and connection in this world -- but in aggregate, the systems that be are not for us.
What drives me craziest is that if people would just quit burying their heads in the sand, we could actually fix a lot of society's problems.
I assume they live their personal lives the same way, ignoring elephants in the room and not dealing with the worst sht in their own lives. It only makes things worse in the long run.
🎯 🎯
🙏🏼
@@ChildrensRightsFirst947 exactly, indeed, if we all start to get to work effectively, a bunch of serious problems could be solved in 2 generations or so. But the `all` is the catch here I suppose
True words.
I'm the youngest of six children. In my early 20s, I was financially broke and desperate. I asked my parents for help. My father said, "Why should we help you?" I was flabbergasted. I had never asked for money before. I had always sought to be as independent as possible.
I was so upset by my parents' lack of compassion and care, I said, "Why did you have so many children?"
My father said - and I quote - "Because we wanted to share our love."
I wanted to vomit. It was so deluded. His role, as he saw it, was to make the money. He had stuff all involvement with his children. Love? I never saw him love anyone.
For many sick people, the word 'love' means self-hope. For others who've been harmed by them though the sick person's love is actually abusive to others.
I’m also the youngest and got the message to not need or ask for what I really needed. That’s the underlying message of materialism. You must have been extremely desperate to go to your parents. You were only supposed to add never need to take.
This story is as funny for its irony as it's sad. He sounds so shut down to himself and consequently everybody else. I imagine somebody mowing grass religiously to golf green height, without fail saying it's to make sure it grows taller than the tallest person.
Love means to give you money when you’re down or meet you somewhere in between with care, not humiliate you. Hope you’ve figured it out him.
@@HideYourKarmaChameleon I don't think my father's intention was to humiliate me. As for "figured it out him", I'm not sure what that means. I haven't figured out my father, but perhaps his own understanding is greater now that he's dead.
I asked my mother that 50yrs ago. I was the last of 6. Before she died, she said she should never have been a mother.
what did she answer the first time you asked?
@gimmelicorice she replied that there was no contraception. In the UK at that time, the contraceptive pill had only been available for a few years. She was the coldest hearted woman.
oh, before she died. Like `dont have the guts to face the consequences for this revelation so I ll wait till Im on my deathbed, then people after me can deal with this` . Very recognisable. My parents aint dead but I perfectly can imagine my parents pulling such a stunt. I would very softly wisper in their ears: `A little bit too late for that, dont you think?`
@@efsmoore2274 At least she was honest. Her feeling, surely, is most common than one might wonder...at least you could move on quickly with no misunderstanding.
Obviously not cold to everyone! A h0 e, like my mother.
as a bio childfree person im so proud of my fellow ppl, my respect to them are bigger than anything. adopt!
Personally, I have come to the conclusion, that this is the only ethical way forward. Overpopulation, bleak future and children suffering in care facilities on their way to drug addiction and continuing the cycle. Adoption is unaffected by
these problems.
As an adopted person, adoption is not the answer.
@@jhardy9073 how can u be so confident n contradicted yourself so hard at the same time 😂
@@homeland1128 haha, tell me you know nothing about what it"s like to be adopted without telling me you know nothing about what it's like being adopted!!
The parents will be ashamed because they know that the true answer to that question is, "Because I'm selfish."
I answered this question before I even listened to the video! 😁🤭 OMG! It makes me so happy to know that there are others who are wise, intelligent, and RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH to not only understand but to actually accept this truth.
Love this man, he's always bringing the deservedly ingenious information to mankind. The typical nonconformist of the age.
Hear, hear ❤ not to mention, there are so many children who'd need a good parenting since they're already here, abandoned - foster, adopt, care and work with children if you love them. xx
Try adopting a kid or being a foster parent in the U.S. It's a hoop jumping production like no other. And any adult who wants to be a mentor to kids gets accused on being an abuser.
@@NJGuy1973 yeah, I'm not arguing with someone who comes to the table with overgeneralising and stereotyping.
@@darcyroyceHe's right. People have to go overseas to adopt there because of the bureacracy to get it done here. We tried to adopt and came to conclusion that CPS and family court didnt want us to adopt because they get more money per kid they keep in the system
@@MJ98774 not arguing with conspiracy theorists either.
@@darcyroycenot arguing with denialists
_Have children and pass on all the issues onto them._
@alexxx4434 I hope you're being sarcastic.
@@SteveJones379 Yes and No. Because this is literally what our society has been involved in past centuries.
@@alexxx4434 Obviously this is the problem that has us here, but your statement says we should continue doing that. That is totally irresponsible. Please do not have children and pass on your issues to them. Just because this is "litterally what our soociety has been doing for centuries" is exactly the problem. Don't be mindless and thought less and carry on. Think, be conscious and break the mould of the past and be a thinking human being.
"I WOULD CHANGE MYSELF!!"... lol I love your wisdom.
I love my children so much that I'm sparing them from this world
I say this same thing all the time 💚
Thats why I'm an antinatalist. Amazing video again, Daniel!
Because you're mad at god and have no understanding of history?
what the hell are you talking about?? 😂😂😂@@joshrivers5191
@@joshrivers5191 because she has eyes and the courage to see the world and the suffering in reality. (Same here by the way:)
And please don't come to me with your sweet little fairytale of this great "god" of suffering and punishment, that I - once a devout Christian myself - understand so very well. If you are brave enough take a look at the book "the denial of death" by Becker and study terror management theory. You will see, that religion and culture are just made up because necessary for humans to cope with the fact and FEAR that we all DIE. Possible in every moment and without our control and without an afterlife.
There is no other sense in it than biological life itself. Hard pill to swallow.
And if you can't cope, it is better and safe to stay in your bubble, because it gives you meaning and propose. I understand.
@@anigemini3958 I fear no knowledge that is truth thus far. You seem well aquainted with the material world and none other which is all too common currently in the disenchanted parts of the world. Science is your religion which was born from superstition and consensus of a few. Your faith in science and some book on the New York Times Best Seller list is ironic though I imagine this comment falls on deaf ears ( or should I say blind eyes?). I await the paradise your brand of rationality and "facts" will oppose upon the world with baited breath. I pray for the well being of future children who will have to grow up under the regime these all too common sentiments will inspire.
@@anigemini3958 So you switched from the Bible and priests to The Denial of Death and psychologists? A materialist. How unique. You actually think science has all the answers?
It takes no bravery to look into The Denial of Death or Terror Management Theory. I just did. Neither seem to be fact but speculation just like the THEORY of evolution and the big bang THEORY. Nor are they particularly frightening ideas to my mind.
I'm not a Christian.
Thankyou for saying what many of us have been thinking. I can’t help but feel sad when a child is born bc i know how much they will suffer & struggle to survive in the current conditions of today’s crumbling society
I’ve asked my parents this & they say they wanted kids so they had them. I thought that was a very naive way to view the act of having children. I’ve come to find out that they’ve been effectively brainwashed by the mainstream media. Quite unfortunate. Children are raised by stepford parents around here.
You live in the richest civilization in the richest period in human history You have access to a free education online that your forebears could only dream of. You have electricity and AC, access to cars, air travel and the internet. You're also living in a relatively peaceful period of time even with the wars going on. Most countries are at peace.
Your issue is that your simply unaware of how much harder life was before and you buy into the media and social media garbage. The world is fine, your perspective is messed up and spoilt.
@@joblakelisbon way to invalidate my experience as a human. Being oppressed is so fun & glamourous & rich, right. Why you feel the need to leave bullshit like this on a page about healing from childhood trauma is beyond me but i am thoroughly triggered & disturbed by your blatent ignorance
@@joblakelisbonSo true ... and also we have antibiotics and modern medicine.
@@joblakelisbon Way to invalidate my experience as a human, real nice... Being oppressed is so fun, glamourous, & rich, right... Why you feel the need to leave bullshit like this on a page about healing from childhood trauma is beyond me but i am thoroughly triggered & disturbed by your blatent ignorance. I shouldn’t need to explain to you (especially since you think you know so much) that you don’t know anything about me nor what i do or don’t know about anything, but here i am having to explain it to you.
I was born 40 years ago and I asked this question for 20+ years.
Life is a curse and an imposition.
I am an antinatalist.
I’m GenX and don’t have children because I lost my only competent parent to cancer when I was ten, and then was held in extrajudicial punishment for a year and a half before I was trafficked by a fraternal organization here in California in the 1980’s. I’m attempting to obtain some justice in the civil court now, but it isn’t going well, because *white collar trash doesn’t like to disparage their colleagues.* 😳 I had *no freaking idea* just how strong the denial and gaslighting in the psychological services industry is. It’s breathtaking. Thank you for your giving to others like this, Mr. Mackler! ☮️❤️🐾
And thank YOU for the validation that what I figured would be alot of indifference, at best, if I were to pursue justice down that sort of path.
For now, anyway, I'm creating my own restorative justice within my own realm, maintaining "No Contact" with all them....
Good luck with anything you can get outta the path you're already on, since you got that far! Why not?!
❤
That is a fact. The trafficking through the medical industry, social services and justice system is very real.
Ignorance, selfishness, carelessness and lack of accountability.
To this question, some parents respond that "Actually it's YOU who decided to come here"...crazy world x)
On a deeper level, there is truth to that though. We all have things to work out here on the material plane with our soul contract.
@@carl8568 Welcome to the magical realm of make-believe!
@@carl8568 Yeaahh, religion rather than knowing actual truth.
@carl8568 what truth? Without two people having sex why would someone be born?
When I complained to my mom that why they chose to have baby knowing they are uneducated and poor, my mom said the same thing. I responded with "Well you shouldn't have recruited in the first place!"
But actually, I know why she chose to have the third baby(me). It was because we are Asian and my dad's family need a boy to "carry on the family line". I am still a girl btw. I'm glad my mom didn't keep trying though.
Yep thats why im staying child free
This is already totally making sense, 1/4 of the way in.
I ask this all the damn time and I'm 23
same
u know what's dope about the brain? when u hit 22-24 (at the last stages of growth of the brain) u start questioning beliefs ur parents told u. it's just the way it is. try to find the unbiased truth bud, not just the truth that satisfies your feelings. for that may stunt your evolution in the long run, and really living with THE unbiased truth will make it easier and easier as time goes on.
Get off the system. Tap into your trust. Live.
@@Fawn91193 while I do like the idea of living in a rural area and bushcraft. I'm not running away from the psychological traumatized children and allowing them to walk all over me. I'm going to live my life as healthy as possible and if folks have a problem with that. Then that's a them problem not mine
@@Fawn91193 however yeah the tap into your trust thing is good advice. However I'm not running away from evil nonsense because that makes the situation worse
"What do you mean, 'why I decided to have children'? Well, it's just... I just wanted children, because, because... just... what do you mean 'why'?"
That's pretty much the response I got when I asked her the question. Not even an attempt at clever rationalization.
exactly. As you said. It wasnt a rational choice.
Disgusting. So sorry
Completely unaware. You just know they didn't spend a split second thinking about it.
I'd probably would rather to adopt a child. Too many children have been suffering and going through the care system.
Daniel, you are so right 💔
I'm almost 30 and have gone through this. My father abandoned me and thought just because he has a biological role in my existence he could appear 27 years later and have a relationship... it is wild how selfish people are. But it has all led me to focus on healing, bringing good into the world as much as I can, relieving suffering, and deciding not to have children. People always say I would be a great mom, and it stings because a part of me wants that. So glad you share your videos, it's empowering and validating. 🙏💚💚
I don't know if your financial situation is stable enough for it but maybe you could adopt. It's often the people who are intelligent enough to decide not to have kids who can raise them right
We have considered it and might explore it in the future once we do more research and if we have reached some of our financial goals. Currently saving for a house 🙂@@ffffffffffffffff5840
Finally someone who understands!!! I am always shamed for my antinatalistic beliefs
you should be
@@skelorbonor you are a perfect example, you won't even elaborate
Absolutely spot on,my thoughts exactly.Thankyou Daniel.
Spot on. I’m one of the “ask why” kids, I’m 22. I reflected about this on my own for a while and this was the conclusion I came to as well. I was born to be a shiny object of my parents life… also so my dad could trap my mom
My partner and I don’t want kids. I genuinely find it unethical given the trauma I have and with how messed up the world is
A very wild truth, for most people impossible to hear. Thank you Daniel for your courage to share this.
It's a primal drive to procreate, and people are dumb, uninformed and optimistic about the future.
Profile picture matches the comment lol
@@adondis6761 I like turtles
_”Life, um, finds a way!“_
@@alexxx4434 So you take decisions such as this because life will find a way? Quite courageous.
@@Rrrrcc4666 That's how it has always worked historically, hasn't it? Even in darkest times people didn't stop to procreate.
I got a vasectomy last year
r/antinatalism
im 17 and i ask my parents this everyday
What do they tell you?
Good luck with that
I love to see your videos pop up on my feed on Saturday mornings, Daniel! Thank you for your insights. Have a fantastic day 😊
This video needs to go viral !!! Such deep truth ! I’m 33 and the best accomplishment in my life is that I did not bring any children into this world thank goodness. When I confronted my little brother, asking why are you and your wife so set on having a baby ? His response 😳 to give us purpose and reason to live! Wow 😯 pathetic
Such a strong video, thank you, Daniel. I really felt your words when you spoke.
When asking parents why they had kids Id put my money on the majority saying it was simply accidental. We're mostly accidents.
Unwanted side effects of free fun
maybe then the right answer should be: `Because we were very happy together and we wanted you to share in that happiness`
@@hetedeleambacht6608 that happiness lasts twenty minutes if you are lucky
Because they saw sex as a novelty activity to counteract boredom rather than a sacred act of creation perhaps? This is why sex before marriage was so taboo on in the past, because they realised it was extremely serious and inherently linked to bringing children into the world
This is why sex is the hex. The greatest trick. I laugh at anyone who isn't celibate. Most are just animals. I will die in peace knowing I never played with the flame of another's existence.
If life is so good to you in every single way and you think its a shame not to bring another person into it, i can kind of get it, but this is not most peoples life. Most people are miserable slaves.
I will probaby never forgive my parents for creating me just so I can be a wage slave with no life.
It break my heart when every day the sun is shining and I have to stare at a screen for 8 hours. Thats all society made life to be.
We live to work, not work to live.
move to a rural area, build your own small house and grow your own vegetables, man. Its possible. Fresh air and trees will do you immensely good
@@hetedeleambacht6608 Yeah, every time I go to nature, i feel great and thankful to be alive almost.
Moving to a rural area carries its own problems. I am 100% a city kid, so starting from 0, I think I would be a terrible farmer, plus in my part of the world, it would mean 0 social life and 0 girls.
It all sucks, no matter what you do.
Unfortunately, one person can't change the world. I tried.
❤ I ask this to myself, why do i need kids in my life. This world is evil and full of trauma. Why just why?? My parents had different expectations like, they would need someone to attach to or they need someone to take care of them. But i dont expect anything from anyone. I ask this question alot and i urge people should ask this question before they want to become parents.
True.
I've asked myself this question a lot over the years, im 26.
I have abstained from marriage: 1) I come from a long line of bad marriages & saw long ago I would likely make all the same mistakes & continue a legacy of familial pain. 2) Our species is an abberation that causes so much damage to everything around us (human & non-human).
I cannot remark how much this man has helped us guide through
I literally think this all the time when I see people with babies. Boggles my mind how clueless or selfish people still are. And I curse my mother for not aborting me every day. Because she chose to have me in spite of knowing that she would be a single mother struggling with financial instability. It was purely a selfish decision for her. She wanted a little doll to play with, thinking it would bring emotional relief and companionship, rather than healing through therapy or self awareness.
Stop having kids period. Rescue an animal from a shelter or adopt from all the unwanted children already in the world if you really feel called to be a parent! Because it is not sustainable or justifiable at all
unfortunately i strongly relate with "She [the mother] wanted a little doll to play with". it's a crushing realization to have and not too difficult to understand it between the lines after enough time.
Since you're here you might as well create some value for yourself. It's not like you have anything better to do
Are you suicidal?
You clearly want to be here, or you would simply leave.
Make your life matter.
Finally someone who will speak the truth on this!
Your channel has saved my life. This thought triggers that thing in my brain that makes me worry that somehow all of your content will one day, for whatever reason could be removed from TH-cam. Please tell me you have a catalog backed up offline? Truth tellers, no matter what genre or context are usually suppressed.
So refreshingly honest, I love it
Absolutely! Amen! 100%! Thank you Daniel. ☮
Daniel, I actually LOL-ed at this! You are brilliant and BRAVE to say what anyone who has taken any kind of an internal journey is thinking. Bravo!
Till now, I still don't understand why people want to have kids. It is incredible how so many people "love" kids so much so as to procreate. It is an innately selfish act. I was raised in a Christian environment and it is not unheard of when people have kids so as to populate the world. I really cannot fathom.
Some people argue that we live in the best times ever. The poverty is lowest. Child death is on the lowest. Standard of living is on its highest. We have healthcare, electricity and can travel.
Yes, we have all the comforts of modern living.
But also depression is on the highest - which we try to cover up by drugging ourselves with toxic drugs. National debts are on the highest. Environmental degradation is on the highest. Our numbers which cause it are on the highest. The earth is facing climate disaster. We grow most mammals in cages vs wild mammals, which are just tiny part of all. We already farmed most fish in the ocean. We farm most plains, taking it for our monocultures to feed livestock and zero value processed foods. We cut forests and destroy natural habitats. We are on the brink of 6th mass extinctions. And we could end it all with nuclear annihilation becouse of conflicts which are a way for us to deny the above.
All flowers and rainbows. Perfect world for a newborn.
So true Daniel...what a life.
.
IT IS
I was born in 1989 and asked my mother the same question lol
I'm almost 40 and childless. I don't want kids bc I noticed that the world is becoming a horrible place. I fear for my own future in this world where food and beverages are controlled by less than 10 companies and communities are being fragmented by Western culture
no worries, if we continue on this course, in a couple of decades we ve whiped ourselves of this planet
AHAHAH oh Daniel 😂😂😭 calling out everybody
Survey says:
10: Don't know?
9: No Condom
8: Didn't pull out
7: Dependent/Tax Break
6: COVID
5: Trapped
4: Blackmailed
3: Drunk
2: Bored
1: Taylor Swift
Please explain "Taylor Swift" :-D
Definitely Taylor Swift’s fault 😂
@@hondahirny Sure, but let's not forget Dua Lipa!
@@krielsavino5368"I can have what I want when I want because I am special, I am me" .......strangely my mother also had this mentality back in 1961 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@johedges5946I am the table. My value is in just showing up and existing
153,000,000 orphans in this world, but ask a someone why they want kids, and it’s always “I wanted, I needed, I felt, I I I. It’s never about the kids.
Subsidizing parents with the child tax credit is like giving tax breaks to the oil companies and big ag.
I never agreed or understood the sin of procreation being a "biological drive" since I was always inherently asexual.
👍👍👍
You do realize something doesn’t have to happen to you for you to understand it right? I figure you’ve experienced hunger before? We’ll just imagine that wanting of food but for intercourse, there you go
You must give him that: he is brutally honest. We can use some honesty. Not always a pleasant message, but it needs to be said. Thank you Daniel. You deserve a medal
I have two kids and I try to be honest with them since I made a commitment to healing myself. II didn't know much about how the world worked when I sleep-walked into getting married and having kids. I thought it was a normal healthy thing to do when one has the means and the opportunity, though admittedly I was fooling myself into believing I was "awake., aware and questioning" at the time. In reality., I still didn't have much of a clue just how bad things were. There was a weakness in me- trauma induced as I now understand it- that prevented me from looking far enough down this rabbit hole to really appreciate how far it goes: Just how dishonest and manipulative people are. The 2020 - 22 Lockdown was a real eye opener. I saw how people treat each other like dirt just to avoid dealing with their own faults or guilt. Thankfully my two kids and I came out of it *relatively* unharmed psychologically and jab-free, but I can't say the same for too many others I know.
yeah that time was a real test. I also came out of it relatively okay and jab-free, but I moved countries in the middle of it 'cause my ex country imposed very harsh policies. However, it opened my eyes up to how evil people can become to each other by an artificially created division, overnight, and I've never seen people, society the same way since.
Love your videos Daniel! Have followed you since 2,000 followers., now it's growing into a much larger community. Please keep up the good work going, there aren't many people sharing their honest opinion about our origin family and how they shape us in a profound way🙌
To show how much ego is attached in lots of people that "want" a child/family - ask them why they don't adopt instead - you'll get a diplomatic answer why that's not for them.
Also once they are parents watch how they react when they realize their child is different than them and wants an unconventional life. It doesn't sit well with them.
And how come most parents quickly bought into the idea that outsourcing parenting to daycare, school, TV, Ipad, video games, baby sitters, nannys, junk food and similar is the new norm? Because it's convenient and lets the parents have plenty of me time, btw me time isn't just about having a relaxing time, it's also choosing career or a hobby over being a present parent and so on.
Lastly listen to the conversations at work - most parents keep venting day after day how their home life sucks and how their kids and spouses drive them nuts...
Brilliant!
I already new this when i was 5 or so, now Im 43....every day i stumble through this world in amazement about the egoism, ignorance and stupidity of people and society as a political and economical structure, just when I thought humankind couldnt get any more wayward I read something in the newspaper like......and those are the people and gouvermnets that decide for a big part how my life is going to be, and I dont have a say in so many things. But I know I have to change my own attitude because this doesnt help me one bit.....
I have not had children for selfish reasons . Because the Western lifestyle is so boring . How boring to drop off a kid at school every day and how stressfull to be locked into a neverending workcycle. I know in a better environment i would have children
What would a better environment look like?
@@NJGuy1973There's no such thing as a better environment. There is only the present. You can only make the best environment you can each day. That's what living on Earth is. Create the optimal environment with what you have daily for yourself and your tribe. Survive.
@@NJGuy1973 Good question, For having kids I think i need an older century country lifestyle. But that could be a pipe dream because society was tough as back then. But simpler. Didn't have to get permission from the government first to do anything
@@bcj842 good answer. It's time for me to start meditating again and tune in to what I really want in life 💗
@@user-zq8pp3ul2c As this video put it, we in the US may be living like that 50 yrs from now.
th-cam.com/video/AUsBloT4jZo/w-d-xo.htmlsi=B5aIdG7s-RyERa4x
My mum was brutally and beautifully honest...
She realised she was raped within marriage and told me.
She could not get an abortion (illegal thanks to government and patriachal and catholic crap.
Mum explained how she could not look at me at birth..asked nurses to take me out of sight.
She spent years inand out of psych wards...with dad playing happy families and caring husband of 'mentally ill' wife.
Mum apologised when I said I was bored as a child...
She told me I did not ask to be born and no child does.
She said children need to be happy...deserve to be happy.
My mother told me the truth of her sexually abusing me.
At least she could not always pretend!
Still is agony trying to heal.
I knew from her truth NOT to make unhappy lives, never had children but really am thankful for and enjoy trying to help children who are not 'mine'.
Quit the romance, look around at our planet.
Quit raping and sick addictions by talking your truth from the inside out.
respect❤
Another refreshing take that every human should contemplate! I would love to hear you and Lawrence Anton in conversation.
Yes
Very brave, Daniel : D. And that kind of honesty is why I love this channel. I mean, at the very least there should be required, rigorous testing to make sure that a couple is mentally fit and knows answers for how to parent before getting a breeder license.
I completely agree. There's a brain scan for psychopathy. It should be mandatory to have it before procreation.
It's a form of codependency. Need to be needed, but not by an independent being, rather a helpless hostage in survival mode.
I’m asking this question and I was born in the 90s 😂
The world has always been screwed up.
Fantastic video Daniel, completely agree with you 💯. I think most people don't have a clue who they actually are. I'm on the self discovery path, no partner, no children. The only loving relationship I have is with myself to be the father to the young pure child I once was. I am his protector and carer. Wouldn't have it any other way.
lol needed this video im in my late 20s and getting judged so hard on my decision to end the generational trauma
If I hadn't already been subscribed, I would have subscribed 👍
Good stuff man 💙
Brilliant analysis, Daniel! I'm so grateful to be able to follow your thinking (and feeling).
Franco
So true
I love children so much that I refuse to willingly subject them to such indignity.
Shop around, dear souls, there is surely a better world out there than this one!
I love you truth and rawness. You have a new subscriber in me.
Good video Daniel.
Trapped in a stressful cycle of survival, the only way out is death. Please have empathy. You don't have to bring another innocent soul here to experience this so-called "life."
You may love this monotony of a life, what if your child does not and choose to opt out?taking oneself out is so violent. To bring a life here, is to put burden on them. What if they dont want to work, dont want to do nothing but exist? You call them lazy and entitled, when it was you who impose all these responsibilities onto them from bringing them here. You are the one responsible for life not until age 18. All they can do is cope everyday, looking for things to keep their un satiated mind occupied (drugs/alcohol/addiction/etc). Tell me, would you like you child to suffer pain, sickness, diseases before he/she finally dies? We all have to go through this process of death, just hope you get a painless one, better not to experience it by not even existingin the firstplace. Look around. People and animals go through so much, and this world is just evil. This is talking from a privileged point of view, I have "made it" in this life, but I would never bring another soul here to suffer and see others suffer. We kill to eat and compete with one another for resources or just selfishness.(watch the documentary "Dominion" on TH-cam). We are living in a brainwashed matrix society, perpetuating suffering.
Antinatalism.
Wow powerful
A person's immediate world can be a wonderful place with great parents and a great family despite whatever is happening on the news. It is true that things are probably going to continue to get shittier in the world but eventually things will turn around for the better. But that can only happen with strong healthy moral families
دانيال بدأ يفقد البريق مالته ، الاصرار على نفس الفكرة بشكل غير متوازن دليل انه ما تجاوز مأساته الطفولية و رفض والديه .
Truth
شيء محزن .. انا اشاركه نفس المشاعر بس للاسف لن يفيد البكاء على الاطلال او تقليب المواجع و لوم الذات و التعمق فالماضي لانه الناس لن تتغير ابدا فلن يفيد البقاء في دائرة اللوم والسلبية القاتلة لانه عامة الناس لا تعترف ب اخطائها ابدا ولهم الف تبرير لافعالهم حتى وهم على الغلط … الماضي يستحضر منه الحكمة لاختيار القرارات و الناس الصحيحة وليس لتعذيب الذات مثله لن يرتاح الضمير طالما هناك غل و حقد فالقلب مستمر و كلامك صحيح واضح انه ما تجاوز الماضي للان بعد هذا العمر
You know you never really get over being neglected or abused as a child right? You just learn to cope with it better. What was the trigger point for you? Have you got children?
Have balls to write it in English. My guess would be you also brough a child into this world for selfish reasons.
Agree 100%
Optimism and hope? I had a pretty messed up life but I am grateful for being alive. I don't expect anything from my kids relating to me ie they don't have to spend time with me when they grow up or take care of me but they can count I'll be in their corner when going through difficult times. I hope they are functional content adults and hopefully make world a little bit of a brighter place, just like I am trying to 🤷♀️