If you want to know how to have a good relationship, ask someone who has been married and happy for 30/40/50/60 years. Don’t ask an unmarried 20/25/30 year old. 🙄
When I say this please don’t take it as an attack against you but I do have a genuine question. What about advice from a divorced individual? I mean you can tell the bitter ones apart from the ones who more down to earth. As a divorcée I learned the difference because I didn’t group all women as whores because my ex cheated on me just like I didn’t group all women in the manipulator category either. I’ve given advice before with my experience in mind and how it failed. The advice I give is 1) never go to bed angry with each other 2) date nights should happen more often then it does 3) listen twice as much as you talk 4) don’t be afraid of criticism and know the difference between healthy criticism and being bullied 5) make sure you tell them they’re beautiful every day 6) don’t make them wonder how you feel about them, show them every day how much they mean to you. On that last one the right woman will notice even the smallest effort you put into this vs the wrong woman will ignore you no matter if you put in all the effort. I learned that with my ex wife vs my current wife and the difference between the two. I did everything I could to make my ex happy and it was never enough while my current wife acknowledges my feelings for her and flourishes in my affection as I do hers. Sorry for the long comment with the question, I wanted to give context and create dialogue so we could have a conversation about it.
@@casper6741 it’s not bad advice. I was saying if given the choice, I’m going with someone who has experience feeling with a healthy relationship. It’s a TH-cam comment, so I wasn’t going to list every type of experience. Some people have a bad first marriage and a healthy second. Some people do the opposite. When my grandmother died at 52, my grandfather immediately remarried and found himself in a terrible situation because he made decisions based in grief and sex. The marriage was annulled. Then he took some time and married my step grandma and they’ve been together since. He turned 91 last week. They’ve been married longer than his first marriage (cancer). So I’d listen to his advice on marriage. I’m not excluding those who might be great, just generalizing. Some people married for 50 years hate each other. But on the bulk, someone married 40 years is going to have better advice than someone who’s had 5 6 month relationships and they’re in their early 20s. 😊
I'm 44, I have been married for 20 years, be honest, have fun, be respectful of others and yourself. Don't expect perfection. Have a relationship with God.
Real advice: Join a night class, or a social club, or a sport group, or a church, where you can be with people who share an interest. Be yourself and make friends. You might find that someone is worth more than friendship to you. And if not, you've got a hobby and some friends.
@@MrBuns-yi2hk I know several that think that setting up a dating app account is putting themselves out there and putting in the work. I met my wife 23 years ago in a college class. You gotta get out there and be social IRL.
Best dating advice: never put someone on a pedestal. All that brings is disappointment and pain. Find equal ground and always communicate with honesty.
Putting unrealistic expectations on someone is a setup for failure. Yes, I unfortunately learned the hard way, but I learned it wasn't fair to myself or others.
Dated a submissive guy once.... never again. Called me "Goddess" "Mistress" "Queen" and basically acted like I was perfect and could do no wrong. It was JUST as dehumanizing as being treated like trash.
I think too many women are convinced they want a man to worship them, but no women really wants a weak man. Or a partner who's life revolves around them.
I agree, I hate it. That's why I love it when while flirting they laugh a little about some of my quirky a habits in a light and fun way. it makes me feel like you're actually see me as a "flawed" normal people. (and also it let me know you've actually paid attention on how I act, kind of a clear sign of interest to me). I happened to had to lie about some of my hobbies because they were kind of very very very nerdy and I didn't want to be looked at like "omg you are soooo perfect that I feel now insecure".... now I don't hide it anymore and just choose better boyz
Imagine a man saying these things: "Touch her every chance you get in casual conversation" "No woman is hotter than me, no woman is smarter than me" Women say it and they're 'Queens' or 'Slaying' men say it and they're misogynist facing a harassment case. 🤷
im saying! the chase is somewhat going to happen when you don't know each other well enough to communicate mutual feelings but in no way does that need to be manipulated or controlled to keep or get a man :O
It also kinda shows how jealousy is prominent within women community. Like if he found someone better than you now you gotta be this a-hole cuz you know you ain't worth it "queen".
Best dating advice I ever got, changed the way I view relationships, friendships and lowered the stakes for my self. 1. Be visible (go places, talk to people, hang out with people you don't necessarily know, join some kind of group or club.) 2. If some one asks you on a date, default say yes, (provided you aren't worried for your safety and you don't hate them) in my experience most guys are worth a first date. 3. Going on a date with somebody does not mean your going out with them. (don't presume he asked you out because he's obsessed with you, or that he expects you to marry him or anything) allow it to be what its supposed to be, a chance to hang out with someone one on one to get to know them better.
With my husband over 19 years, celebrated 18 years of marriage on August 25. No games were played.... That's so stupid. Starting a relationship with manipulation is a recipe for *failure!* 💯%
I went on a group lunch after church one Sunday (I was 18) and saw a cute guy but I continued to eat my food and went on with my day without really talking to him (I was shy and hadn't met him before). A couple Sundays later I saw him again, talking to one of my friends and I decided to use my friends being there as a way to introduce myself and he jumped for the chance. There was evening service that night and he was there again, he killed a spider for my friend who was silently panicking 😂 afterwards we all went for Cold Stone and he asked for my number and set up a date. At that date he admitted to me that he's been coming to church for weeks to talk to me, he fell for me when he saw me eating my wrap kinda sloppily and naturally and finished my lunch while the other girls were being super delicate and had leftovers. He also admitted he's terrified of spiders. We just celebrated our 12 year anniversary in September and the second birthday of our youngest (and 4th) daughter. Just be you, authentically you. The right one will like you for you. The right one will not treat you like royalty, they will just love you and treat you well.
@@michellepennington8319 thank you ❤️ I'm rather fond of our story. At the time we had both been trying to find someone and just nothing positive was panning out. So we had both said "ok God, I'll trust you, you got this." 2 weeks later for him he noticed me, and 2 weeks later for me (4 weeks for him) we went to Cold Stone. Don't try so hard, just be yourself and when the time is right, you'll know 💕
Good ending ahhh. Now this is the kind of relationship i want. But im kind of scared of rejection. I mean rejecting me at first is ok but showing interest in me for months then rejecting me scares me... 😢
“Advice” like this makes me so upset 🤦🏻♀️ My husband, my best friend, passed away a month after we got married and seeing these things infuriates me because you’ve got good people that actually want good love and companionship but you’ve got these people going out of their way to manipulate and hurt men like it’s their right. My only hope is that these people find someone that makes them realize “why was I even doing those crazy things in the first place?”
That is hard. I'm sorry for that. I always tell people be honest, truthful, and sincere. don't waste your time playing games because you are playing with your own emotions and theirs. rather spend 10 minutes finding out you're a jerk that 10 months of wasted time.
I couldn't imagine loosing my fiance and I hope you can find love once again as I'm sure your husband loved you so much that he'd want someone to experience the love you have to give, the love he was blessed to experience. I'm so sorry you've lost your life partner before you had the oppurtunity to grow old together and I hope you have nothing but happiness and health throughout the rest of your life 💕
Long story short, I played hard to get only because I didn't want to get my heart broken. She came after me hard! Once I fell for her I wasn't so hard to get and she lost interest. Just be yourself from the first. If it's meant to be it will not be hard.
A while back I heard someone say “the price of genuine closeness/intimacy in a relationship is conflict.” Which is just spot on. Disagreements in a (healthy) relationship are normal, how you learn more about each other, and hopefully grow closer than before. Much easier said then done but it’s absolutely true
Ok, this may be an unpopular opinion in these parts but the best dating advice I ever got was from Matt Hussey’s book Get the Guy. He’s one of those unmarried dating gurus 😂 Most of his focus in the book was similar to something you said in this video: Focus on living your life and becoming who you want to be, and you won’t have to play these games. You will know your value and then act accordingly-that is what is attractive to a potential mate. He also gave some flirtation tips which was great for someone shy like me to whom flirting does NOT come naturally. No manipulation tactics, no cover-ups for low self-esteem…and hey I “got the guy.” We married two years ago and have a baby on the way. There can be decent advice out there, you just maybe shouldn’t go to TikTok to find it 😜
I just worry living my life and working hard I'll just hit 30 look back at the fact I haven't really dated, have no kids, but hey at least I'm making great cash and have my own house, it's just empty. All my coworkers are older and or married so I'm not going out or meeting people at work....
@@kaylar.8126 If it's a concern now, then try looking outward somewhere perhaps. Looking on dating apps or such maybe, see if there's any of those mixers in your area, go to events you like and try to be a little social or talkative even if you aren't normally just to get conversation going, bring family or friends to some of these things for safety but it can really expand your world beyond work and help raise the chance of meeting someone you might like. I hope you do find someone great, whether now or later, you'd both deserve a good life together!
Met my husband in a bar. he and friends were talking about going fishing and they needed someone to go along to stay sober and drive the boat. I volunteered. I'm thinking local lake no worries... fast forward about 6 weeks. they took me up on the offer. then tell me the details... going to California -- going shark fishing on the ocean... "do you still want to go?" YEP! FF again... He moved in with me 3 days after we got back... we are celebrating 25 years next month. my dating advice... be honest, be truthful, be adventurous. I was not his "type" yet here we are...
TikTok dating advice: It's not a relationship - it's DRAMA! Ladies, real men hate drama in their relationship. What they really like is a partnership. If he or she says or does something you don't like say, "When you say (or do) X I feel Y." Never blame them for how you feel. Take responsibility for how you feel and ask for their help with it. That's partnering.
Tik Tok dating advice is the new Cosmo Magazine advice. Was stupid back then and still is stupid advice and those 'experts' probably became experts by looking at other Tik Toks. Please young people wake up, Tik Tok is not a place to look for any real life advice on any kind of relationships.
Many relationships I have noticed today are a struggle for power between the two people and who is "the boss". A healthy relationship isn't like that. You should compromise, support one another, and choose your battles wisely. I have been with my husband for 12 years now. A relationship isn't a competition or a game, it is a mutually beneficial partnership.
Dating advice from a Christian: PRAY ABOUT IT! Pray for your future s/o as often as you can, and in the mean time, stay in the Word and get to know what you should be looking for in them according to what God has established. And don't jump from relationship to relationship seeking satisfaction because if it's not who you were designed to be with, you're not going to be happy, and you're going to leave a trail of broken hearts behind you. People's hearts aren't games. Don't play with them.
To be fair, none of them start the "advice" with "if you want to have a sucessful relationship...", so good for them for the level of self awarness I guess? 😂😂
Right? It's *dating* advice, not *marriage* advice. Maybe they don't have the same metric for success (a healthy relationship of any kind vs. just "getting" the guy/girl). It's kind of sad.
My man has been in three relationships before me and one gripe he has is the lack of attention he received, he would give and never get. He loves being complimented and to receive my attention, they’re going at it alllll wrong.
There is So Much fakeness and BS in dating these days. I completely signed out of all the online dating apps. Too many games, too many people with unreasonable standards. One girl even started starting arguments and eventually broke up with me because we didn't fight enough lol. I do that at work all day I don't need it in my personal life. I'm going to be myself and I'll either wind up with somebody or I won't. There aren't a lot of people out there that are genuine and real anymore.
I don’t really compete with other dudes ever. But, if she talks about how good her ex was, I would assume things aren’t truly done done and I will step off.
Yeah that seemed so off to me too 😅😂 If my boyfriend talked about how good his ex girlfriend was to him.. Wow things wouldn't be good. Nevermind me trying to treat him better. That lady clearly hasn't been in a good relationship after, if she's saying she keeps using this successfully. Clearly not, cause you're not with the man for long. Although maybe it's just sugar daddy advice... And in that case there's many levels of wrong.
Men are not interested in women that are not interested in them. The best dating advice for women is to show interest, because that will really influence him.
My dating advice equals 1. Be yourself 2. Express your values 3. Have a mature mindset( long term relationship) 4. Have proper communication and understanding 5. Don't lie about things you know you can't hide. 6. Don't listen to dating advice on tiktok or you'll never find the one
Tiktok is basically that single friend that is a failure & can’t keep a man, & miserable, that’s keeps everyone else single & miserable just like them😂
When I first started going to school, my dad sat me down and told me “Never try to impress anyone mija, because you’ll be stuck trying to keep that image up. And when it falls, and it will, you’ll just wish you’d been yourself.” I will always be grateful to both my parents for the advice they gave me in my younger years. They didn’t wait for me to make those mistakes. I may not have always understood what they were telling me at the time, but I remembered it because I could tell that it was important to listen. It helped me to avoid a lot of mistakes as I grew.
I’ve been a doormat cos our generation is so screwed up. You’re mostly either an ego case or you’re super passive to the point of becoming a doormat. There’s a happy medium of having respect for yourself and loving yourself-and that’s learning not to be codependent and that’s where therapy comes in and understanding your attachment styles. Maybe I’m BSing all of this but that’s my experience. I know Prince Charming doesn’t exist, but what I have learned is you need to find a winner, and you need to be a winner. Lots of males are beta losers nowadays.
You can thank the feminization of boys in the 90s for that mostly because single mother households where the father walked out for milk or the mother alienated him from his children. Then also look to where women berated men about opening up more and being more “in tune with their feminine side” along with many more elements that played their part in creating the type of men you see today. However it isn’t as widespread as you may think, there’s still plenty of masculine men who are confident and strong but your comment makes me wonder if you’re looking at things through a Lense that it appears to you that these are the only type of men that surround you? And even if they do maybe you need to migrate and enter a new scene with a fresh perspective and open mind. I also noticed you spoke about men with their egos but left out women with their stubbornness. I’m gonna give you the same talk you just gave me with your comment. I’ve been in several relationships myself in the past where you either deal with the princess attitude where you’re supposed to cater to their every need and more or less worship the ground they walk on (hold up that sounds egotistical doesn’t it?) you have to be perfect in every way and if you disagree with anything they stand for then “it’s just not gonna work out” then we have these masculine women who think men are attracted to their degree or their profession. These women are very obnoxious, very inagreeable, very competitive and think of a man doesn’t desire them then they’re just “intimidated” by their boss bitch personality when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Truth is we hate both these types of women because in a way both want to enslave you to their ideologies in one form or another and if I wanted masculinity then I’d just turn gay and call it a day. Lots of females are delusional egotistical losers nowadays. Lastly anyone who uses beta or alpha terms can’t be taken seriously because most people who use that term is normally shit people.
We live in a hyper sexualised society and we need change that. The advice I would give even though never having a relationship at the age of 21 is to have a common grounds. Take your time to know each other. Share your interests even if they might not be the same just be open about it show interest in each other’s hobbies. Take your individual times for yourselves if you live with your partner that is.
The problem with this generation is they don't even know who they are though. So trying to be genuine and authentic in dating is going to be really hard for them. They've been taught to follow trends to get attention. Unfortunately, if they're not told what to do and how to do it, they can't function lol.
i noticed that. i think millennials certainly followed trends too but what i see in younger teens now actually saddens me a lot. it appears, atleast from the outside, like they are totally disconnected from their authentic selves. and very deeply unhappy. i have empathy for them but also hope they choose better for themselves.
The first one is trouble. In current year, if she acts uninterested you're supposed to leave her alone and try your luck elsewhere. Otherwise you'll end up being called a stalker on the internet.
I really like what you said about being with someone who challenges you to be better. That’s one of things I crave the most in my life. I’ve always sucked at motivating myself and it’s a skill I’m slowly learning as I get older. There’s nothing I want or need more than a man who will push me to be a better person and remind me I can do more than I think I can. I don’t want a yes man or a simp
I’d say try to love yourself as much as you can single. Don’t hold back treating or taking care of yourself because you want someone else to do it for you. I’m in a great relationship but it came after really working on myself.
Honestly the best thing that ever happened was meeting my husband when I wasn’t trying to catch anyone’s eye. I had actually just got out of a bad situationship but we both just enjoyed each others company and 7 years later we decided to make it a permanent thing. It was refreshing because we didn’t play games with one another.
None of my friends who play games (as adults) have had a relationship last any longer than a few months. I find it hilarious how they try to school me (i’m mushy and show affection when I feel it, not based on a schedule) and yet they can’t stop looking at their phones to check for new messages and obsess and read waaaaay too much into the social media posts of the men they are currently seeing 😂
Not so much for who to find someone but more so advice on how to work past arguments. My husband and I created together "rules for fighting", so things like no name calling, never threatening to leave the other, allowing us to pause the argument and regroup later and if possible try to avoid bringing things up before bed. Setting up boundaries in life and in arguments has allowed us to know we always respect each other and that we have the best intentions ❤️
The best dating advice I can give is to find someone who inspires you to be the best version of yourself. If you both lift each other up you can create something really beautiful.
My advice is for those being scared to be in a relationship or asking someone you like out: take a chance and dive in. You might get turned down but at least you’ll know how the other person feels, and if you’re lucky enough that they feel the same, that’s even better. I learned this through experience.
Someone who loves you will always encourage you to be your best self. Because they want you to be happy. And they’ll be protective of you too. They will fight for you if needed and tell you how they feel. They’ll say I love you. And they’ll love you for who you are not who you’re not so always be real never fake or the relationship is based on a lie. You don’t want that.
Yin and Yang the best advise I can give is look for someone who makes you better, for both sides, in a real relationship you are constantly growing and changing and you always want to move forward, life has too many challenges as it is to play all the games from these tic tock people.. thanks so much you guys you made me laugh and it was much needed , peace
for me the "talk about how awesome you ex was" is the WORST advice EVER! Like when I see that a guy keeps talking about his ex and stuff I don't wanna get better than his ex, actually, I don't want ANYTHING with him cause to me it will seem like he's not over his ex yet
Remember dating is a means for finding the right person, don’t go into it assuming they are “the one” or beat yourself up if it doesn’t work out. It’s okay to question and scrutinize them, it’s basically an interview for spending your life together.
Best advice I could give someone, it's not a secrete and has been working for thousands of years. Be yourself, be honest and let him/her know you are interested.
I like to say ‘if it’s meant to happen, it will happen.’ Most men nowadays are tired of the games and just wants to know where a woman stands. Playing hard to get and putting on a facade will only make him think you’re immature. Be real, genuine, authentic. Bring what you have your unique quirks, what sets you apart to the table. Just be yourself.
There's a corneal of truth in some of these. 1) Have enough of a life where you aren't always available. 2) Don't constantly talk about your ex and how you are broken. 3)... You can't learn anything from toxic people...
Dating advice is only related to dating and in the case of men getting laid…hence why many of the male dating coaches are single- they and probably most of their followers aren’t looking for marriage lol
this is usually why men believe women are manipulative cause of crap like this not smart to lie and manipulate someone especially when a friendship or relationship is new be yourself don't lie it'll work everytime
As for that last one about the crap sandwich: As Jordan Peterson is always trying to point out... is there crap in your own sandwich though? You can’t make someone else the worst sandwich in the world and expect a perfect sandwich in return.
All these young ladies are teaching other young ladies how to play silly, immature and toxic games that will ensure they remain single forever. Just be genuine. Pretending to be who you aren't doesn't ever work in The long run. Men are are human beings and have feelings too. This generation is ensuring their own future loneliness. Maybe it's because I'm in my 40's but 20 years ago it wasn't this bad. Be you 100% and the right ones will stick around. It's so much easier to be authentic than faking your way through life with games.
Thank you for good feedback back in these. I watched Matt’s and some responses were ok - but some of his feedback made me wonder if he was in a desirable relationship. Don’t (at all) wish that on my friends and family. This ? It’s usable. Thank you.
It’s too late for me to meet someone, and I’m probably too set in my ways late into my 30s, but I do feel for those younger than me trying to meet someone and stuck with awful advice and hookup culture. I’d dread trying to date nowadays, not that it was much better when I was young.
The reason you should be yourself in dating is exactly what they're saying, in 6 months or a year, you will inevitably slip out of the manufactured self you've been portraying. And if you try to keep it up, it will be exhausting! And if you don't think you are enough without putting on a fake persona, you need to deal with that insecurity first
My piece of dating advice, and I belive this to be the most important, find out what yoy want in a relationship. What are your boundaries, what is negotiable, and what are things you can compromise on. If there are questions you don't know the answer to, that is also fine. Then when you actually are dating be honest and genuine. Communicate with your partner. Learn how to work through conflict and be willing to forgive your partner when they they make mistakes. Don't hold things against them for points. Relationships are not duels, it is a team effort.
The problem with dating right now is people keep going for the BBD, the Bigger Better Deal, so women always want to date above themselves and Men are always looking for the hotter girl. I remember when I was young I had a friend who was dating a girl and my other friend's girlfriend told him 'Oh you can do better than her....'. This had nothing to do with her personality or how she acted, it was all about her looks....
Playing hard to get doesn’t work they’ll get bored and move on. In the start My partner almost stopped texting me bcos I wasn’t paying much attention to him and he thought I was playing hard or uninterested. I wasn’t, I was just going through a hard life moment. I made him wait 3 months of us talking online before I met him in person and we’ve been together for over a year now
18:56 Men are competitive when they hear your ex did something bad to you. If they know your ex did something that you didn’t like or was horrible to you, they want to do the exact opposite to make the woman want them
“Hard to get” means you are waving a carrot at them. You let them know you might be interested in them but they’ll have to work for it, which can be a fun thing to do when discovering new feelings. Ghosting someone is simply mean and you are hurting people’s feelings for no reason, creating a culture of distrust and dependability like “ugh if he isn’t clingy enough, he’s not the right man for me”
When you’re dating, you aren’t competing with the other people they are talking to. You’re competing with how that person feels about their life before you showed up. Your competing with how they feel alone without you.
All these dating advice tiktoks aren’t for relationships. They’re probably for casual hookups cause if you’re fake a normal relationship isn’t going to last.
If you want to know how to have a good relationship, ask someone who has been married and happy for 30/40/50/60 years. Don’t ask an unmarried 20/25/30 year old. 🙄
💯 facts
When I say this please don’t take it as an attack against you but I do have a genuine question. What about advice from a divorced individual? I mean you can tell the bitter ones apart from the ones who more down to earth. As a divorcée I learned the difference because I didn’t group all women as whores because my ex cheated on me just like I didn’t group all women in the manipulator category either. I’ve given advice before with my experience in mind and how it failed. The advice I give is 1) never go to bed angry with each other 2) date nights should happen more often then it does 3) listen twice as much as you talk 4) don’t be afraid of criticism and know the difference between healthy criticism and being bullied 5) make sure you tell them they’re beautiful every day 6) don’t make them wonder how you feel about them, show them every day how much they mean to you. On that last one the right woman will notice even the smallest effort you put into this vs the wrong woman will ignore you no matter if you put in all the effort. I learned that with my ex wife vs my current wife and the difference between the two. I did everything I could to make my ex happy and it was never enough while my current wife acknowledges my feelings for her and flourishes in my affection as I do hers. Sorry for the long comment with the question, I wanted to give context and create dialogue so we could have a conversation about it.
@@casper6741 it’s not bad advice. I was saying if given the choice, I’m going with someone who has experience feeling with a healthy relationship. It’s a TH-cam comment, so I wasn’t going to list every type of experience. Some people have a bad first marriage and a healthy second. Some people do the opposite. When my grandmother died at 52, my grandfather immediately remarried and found himself in a terrible situation because he made decisions based in grief and sex. The marriage was annulled. Then he took some time and married my step grandma and they’ve been together since. He turned 91 last week. They’ve been married longer than his first marriage (cancer). So I’d listen to his advice on marriage. I’m not excluding those who might be great, just generalizing. Some people married for 50 years hate each other. But on the bulk, someone married 40 years is going to have better advice than someone who’s had 5 6 month relationships and they’re in their early 20s. 😊
I base it on my parents. They met in college, and they've been happily married for almost four decades.
Good example to follow, at least I think.
I'm 44, I have been married for 20 years, be honest, have fun, be respectful of others and yourself. Don't expect perfection. Have a relationship with God.
Real advice:
Join a night class, or a social club, or a sport group, or a church, where you can be with people who share an interest.
Be yourself and make friends.
You might find that someone is worth more than friendship to you. And if not, you've got a hobby and some friends.
I know too many people in my life that complain about not having found anyone, but don't put themselves put there to find people.
wdym by a night class?
@@rickyy5129 Some sort of non-academic 'learn how to' class where you can learn a hobby.
I need this just to make friends lol
@@MrBuns-yi2hk I know several that think that setting up a dating app account is putting themselves out there and putting in the work.
I met my wife 23 years ago in a college class. You gotta get out there and be social IRL.
Most “dating advice” on social media is all about playing games and hurting people. I hate it.
I agree. Things like the "rules" or the "game" are toxic
Call me crazy, but that’s how I thought you scared people away. I hate it, too. Mutual respect should always be one of the first building blocks.
The games is why I stopped dating and that's fine. I got real friends!
Agreed
It’s also women thinking men think the same way as us. They think these games will make him want you more and it couldn’t be further from the truth
Best dating advice: never put someone on a pedestal. All that brings is disappointment and pain. Find equal ground and always communicate with honesty.
Putting unrealistic expectations on someone is a setup for failure. Yes, I unfortunately learned the hard way, but I learned it wasn't fair to myself or others.
Dated a submissive guy once.... never again. Called me "Goddess" "Mistress" "Queen" and basically acted like I was perfect and could do no wrong. It was JUST as dehumanizing as being treated like trash.
Oooof that would have been uncomfortable & in another sense you feel like you can’t make a mistake because they hold you so high!
How weird… seems like that’d be really irritating honestly
I think too many women are convinced they want a man to worship them, but no women really wants a weak man. Or a partner who's life revolves around them.
I agree, I hate it. That's why I love it when while flirting they laugh a little about some of my quirky a habits in a light and fun way. it makes me feel like you're actually see me as a "flawed" normal people. (and also it let me know you've actually paid attention on how I act, kind of a clear sign of interest to me). I happened to had to lie about some of my hobbies because they were kind of very very very nerdy and I didn't want to be looked at like "omg you are soooo perfect that I feel now insecure".... now I don't hide it anymore and just choose better boyz
Don’t get me started on Mother’s Day. smh
Imagine a man saying these things:
"Touch her every chance you get in casual conversation"
"No woman is hotter than me, no woman is smarter than me"
Women say it and they're 'Queens' or 'Slaying' men say it and they're misogynist facing a harassment case. 🤷
So true, the claims some women make would lead to anger if the genders were reversed.
im saying! the chase is somewhat going to happen when you don't know each other well enough to communicate mutual feelings but in no way does that need to be manipulated or controlled to keep or get a man :O
And you’re a pick me girl.
@@taniaesther101 because common sense, women aren’t like men.
It also kinda shows how jealousy is prominent within women community. Like if he found someone better than you now you gotta be this a-hole cuz you know you ain't worth it "queen".
How to get someone to chase you? Steal their wallet and run.
Very hilarious.😂😂😂😂
You nailed it when you said Middle School. These people genuinely have very little emotional intelligence/maturity.
yep
Don't play games with emotions, theirs or yours. In the end you wast time and time is precious.
Best dating advice I ever got, changed the way I view relationships, friendships and lowered the stakes for my self.
1. Be visible (go places, talk to people, hang out with people you don't necessarily know, join some kind of group or club.)
2. If some one asks you on a date, default say yes, (provided you aren't worried for your safety and you don't hate them) in my experience most guys are worth a first date.
3. Going on a date with somebody does not mean your going out with them. (don't presume he asked you out because he's obsessed with you, or that he expects you to marry him or anything) allow it to be what its supposed to be, a chance to hang out with someone one on one to get to know them better.
As a happily married woman: RUN AWAY FROM THESE ADVICES. Unless you want a meh marriage that may collapse in the next 5 years.
With my husband over 19 years, celebrated 18 years of marriage on August 25. No games were played.... That's so stupid. Starting a relationship with manipulation is a recipe for *failure!* 💯%
I went on a group lunch after church one Sunday (I was 18) and saw a cute guy but I continued to eat my food and went on with my day without really talking to him (I was shy and hadn't met him before). A couple Sundays later I saw him again, talking to one of my friends and I decided to use my friends being there as a way to introduce myself and he jumped for the chance. There was evening service that night and he was there again, he killed a spider for my friend who was silently panicking 😂 afterwards we all went for Cold Stone and he asked for my number and set up a date. At that date he admitted to me that he's been coming to church for weeks to talk to me, he fell for me when he saw me eating my wrap kinda sloppily and naturally and finished my lunch while the other girls were being super delicate and had leftovers. He also admitted he's terrified of spiders. We just celebrated our 12 year anniversary in September and the second birthday of our youngest (and 4th) daughter.
Just be you, authentically you. The right one will like you for you. The right one will not treat you like royalty, they will just love you and treat you well.
This is so cute!
@@michellepennington8319 thank you ❤️ I'm rather fond of our story. At the time we had both been trying to find someone and just nothing positive was panning out. So we had both said "ok God, I'll trust you, you got this." 2 weeks later for him he noticed me, and 2 weeks later for me (4 weeks for him) we went to Cold Stone.
Don't try so hard, just be yourself and when the time is right, you'll know 💕
Good ending ahhh. Now this is the kind of relationship i want. But im kind of scared of rejection. I mean rejecting me at first is ok but showing interest in me for months then rejecting me scares me... 😢
“Advice” like this makes me so upset 🤦🏻♀️ My husband, my best friend, passed away a month after we got married and seeing these things infuriates me because you’ve got good people that actually want good love and companionship but you’ve got these people going out of their way to manipulate and hurt men like it’s their right. My only hope is that these people find someone that makes them realize “why was I even doing those crazy things in the first place?”
Rigtht? hearing you say this gives me Hope and im sorry for your loss hope you find some peace
That is hard. I'm sorry for that.
I always tell people be honest, truthful, and sincere.
don't waste your time playing games because you are playing with your own emotions and theirs. rather spend 10 minutes finding out you're a jerk that 10 months of wasted time.
So sorry for your lost. Hope you find peace.
I am very sorry for your loss.
I couldn't imagine loosing my fiance and I hope you can find love once again as I'm sure your husband loved you so much that he'd want someone to experience the love you have to give, the love he was blessed to experience. I'm so sorry you've lost your life partner before you had the oppurtunity to grow old together and I hope you have nothing but happiness and health throughout the rest of your life 💕
Long story short, I played hard to get only because I didn't want to get my heart broken. She came after me hard! Once I fell for her I wasn't so hard to get and she lost interest. Just be yourself from the first. If it's meant to be it will not be hard.
A while back I heard someone say “the price of genuine closeness/intimacy in a relationship is conflict.” Which is just spot on. Disagreements in a (healthy) relationship are normal, how you learn more about each other, and hopefully grow closer than before. Much easier said then done but it’s absolutely true
Ok, this may be an unpopular opinion in these parts but the best dating advice I ever got was from Matt Hussey’s book Get the Guy. He’s one of those unmarried dating gurus 😂 Most of his focus in the book was similar to something you said in this video: Focus on living your life and becoming who you want to be, and you won’t have to play these games. You will know your value and then act accordingly-that is what is attractive to a potential mate. He also gave some flirtation tips which was great for someone shy like me to whom flirting does NOT come naturally. No manipulation tactics, no cover-ups for low self-esteem…and hey I “got the guy.” We married two years ago and have a baby on the way. There can be decent advice out there, you just maybe shouldn’t go to TikTok to find it 😜
I just worry living my life and working hard I'll just hit 30 look back at the fact I haven't really dated, have no kids, but hey at least I'm making great cash and have my own house, it's just empty. All my coworkers are older and or married so I'm not going out or meeting people at work....
@@kaylar.8126 you have internalised misogyny.
@@kaylar.8126 If it's a concern now, then try looking outward somewhere perhaps. Looking on dating apps or such maybe, see if there's any of those mixers in your area, go to events you like and try to be a little social or talkative even if you aren't normally just to get conversation going, bring family or friends to some of these things for safety but it can really expand your world beyond work and help raise the chance of meeting someone you might like. I hope you do find someone great, whether now or later, you'd both deserve a good life together!
Met my husband in a bar. he and friends were talking about going fishing and they needed someone to go along to stay sober and drive the boat. I volunteered. I'm thinking local lake no worries...
fast forward about 6 weeks.
they took me up on the offer. then tell me the details... going to California -- going shark fishing on the ocean... "do you still want to go?"
YEP!
FF again...
He moved in with me 3 days after we got back...
we are celebrating 25 years next month.
my dating advice... be honest, be truthful, be adventurous. I was not his "type" yet here we are...
This is so cute! Congrats on 25 yrs
TikTok dating advice: It's not a relationship - it's DRAMA!
Ladies, real men hate drama in their relationship. What they really like is a partnership.
If he or she says or does something you don't like say, "When you say (or do) X I feel Y." Never blame them for how you feel. Take responsibility for how you feel and ask for their help with it. That's partnering.
Gaslighting and a sexist, excellent.
It’s crazy you literally said “woman, take accountability for how you feel” and someone said gaslighting and sexist. We’re in clown world 😂
Some people love drama, male and female, thankfully not all of us do.
Tik Tok dating advice is the new Cosmo Magazine advice. Was stupid back then and still is stupid advice and those 'experts' probably became experts by looking at other Tik Toks. Please young people wake up, Tik Tok is not a place to look for any real life advice on any kind of relationships.
Many relationships I have noticed today are a struggle for power between the two people and who is "the boss". A healthy relationship isn't like that. You should compromise, support one another, and choose your battles wisely. I have been with my husband for 12 years now. A relationship isn't a competition or a game, it is a mutually beneficial partnership.
If Im not funny. Tell me.. dont fake laugh... gaslighting is a horrible way to find love
Dating advice from a Christian:
PRAY ABOUT IT! Pray for your future s/o as often as you can, and in the mean time, stay in the Word and get to know what you should be looking for in them according to what God has established.
And don't jump from relationship to relationship seeking satisfaction because if it's not who you were designed to be with, you're not going to be happy, and you're going to leave a trail of broken hearts behind you. People's hearts aren't games. Don't play with them.
Love this ❤
lol prayer doesn't work
@@natgenesis5038 So.. what you're saying is that you haven't tried it? Good to know.
5:26 - you're right man, confidence is a good thing, arrogance is not
Here's my dating advice; don't take any from anyone who hasn't managed to have a successful marriage of at least several years.
Being yourself and being honest actually works! 🤦🏻♀️I never had any problems meeting someone by doing that.
To be fair, none of them start the "advice" with "if you want to have a sucessful relationship...", so good for them for the level of self awarness I guess? 😂😂
Right? It's *dating* advice, not *marriage* advice. Maybe they don't have the same metric for success (a healthy relationship of any kind vs. just "getting" the guy/girl). It's kind of sad.
My man has been in three relationships before me and one gripe he has is the lack of attention he received, he would give and never get. He loves being complimented and to receive my attention, they’re going at it alllll wrong.
There is So Much fakeness and BS in dating these days. I completely signed out of all the online dating apps. Too many games, too many people with unreasonable standards. One girl even started starting arguments and eventually broke up with me because we didn't fight enough lol. I do that at work all day I don't need it in my personal life.
I'm going to be myself and I'll either wind up with somebody or I won't. There aren't a lot of people out there that are genuine and real anymore.
Being honest with yourself and the other person. That should be the top advice given to people when it comes to dating.
I don’t really compete with other dudes ever. But, if she talks about how good her ex was, I would assume things aren’t truly done done and I will step off.
Yeah that seemed so off to me too 😅😂
If my boyfriend talked about how good his ex girlfriend was to him.. Wow things wouldn't be good. Nevermind me trying to treat him better.
That lady clearly hasn't been in a good relationship after, if she's saying she keeps using this successfully. Clearly not, cause you're not with the man for long.
Although maybe it's just sugar daddy advice... And in that case there's many levels of wrong.
Men are not interested in women that are not interested in them. The best dating advice for women is to show interest, because that will really influence him.
My dating advice equals
1. Be yourself
2. Express your values
3. Have a mature mindset( long term relationship)
4. Have proper communication and understanding
5. Don't lie about things you know you can't hide.
6. Don't listen to dating advice on tiktok or you'll never find the one
Tiktok is basically that single friend that is a failure & can’t keep a man, & miserable, that’s keeps everyone else single & miserable just like them😂
My dating advice: if you're dating someone who does anything on any of these videos, run. Run away.
Yes be a strong independent feminist woman ,do all things by your self
When I first started going to school, my dad sat me down and told me “Never try to impress anyone mija, because you’ll be stuck trying to keep that image up. And when it falls, and it will, you’ll just wish you’d been yourself.”
I will always be grateful to both my parents for the advice they gave me in my younger years. They didn’t wait for me to make those mistakes. I may not have always understood what they were telling me at the time, but I remembered it because I could tell that it was important to listen. It helped me to avoid a lot of mistakes as I grew.
Everyone on tiktok is a damn relationship coach / expert..... i had to delete the app because I was sick of every nobody being an EXPERT at something
I like how they don't see the irony of giving dating advice as single/divorced 30+ year olds.
I’ve been a doormat cos our generation is so screwed up. You’re mostly either an ego case or you’re super passive to the point of becoming a doormat. There’s a happy medium of having respect for yourself and loving yourself-and that’s learning not to be codependent and that’s where therapy comes in and understanding your attachment styles.
Maybe I’m BSing all of this but that’s my experience. I know Prince Charming doesn’t exist, but what I have learned is you need to find a winner, and you need to be a winner. Lots of males are beta losers nowadays.
Nicely said!!
You can thank the feminization of boys in the 90s for that mostly because single mother households where the father walked out for milk or the mother alienated him from his children. Then also look to where women berated men about opening up more and being more “in tune with their feminine side” along with many more elements that played their part in creating the type of men you see today. However it isn’t as widespread as you may think, there’s still plenty of masculine men who are confident and strong but your comment makes me wonder if you’re looking at things through a Lense that it appears to you that these are the only type of men that surround you? And even if they do maybe you need to migrate and enter a new scene with a fresh perspective and open mind. I also noticed you spoke about men with their egos but left out women with their stubbornness. I’m gonna give you the same talk you just gave me with your comment. I’ve been in several relationships myself in the past where you either deal with the princess attitude where you’re supposed to cater to their every need and more or less worship the ground they walk on (hold up that sounds egotistical doesn’t it?) you have to be perfect in every way and if you disagree with anything they stand for then “it’s just not gonna work out” then we have these masculine women who think men are attracted to their degree or their profession. These women are very obnoxious, very inagreeable, very competitive and think of a man doesn’t desire them then they’re just “intimidated” by their boss bitch personality when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Truth is we hate both these types of women because in a way both want to enslave you to their ideologies in one form or another and if I wanted masculinity then I’d just turn gay and call it a day. Lots of females are delusional egotistical losers nowadays. Lastly anyone who uses beta or alpha terms can’t be taken seriously because most people who use that term is normally shit people.
Nicely said as well.
We live in a hyper sexualised society and we need change that.
The advice I would give even though never having a relationship at the age of 21 is to have a common grounds. Take your time to know each other. Share your interests even if they might not be the same just be open about it show interest in each other’s hobbies. Take your individual times for yourselves if you live with your partner that is.
The first dating advise I ever received was, "if you want him to hold your hand, hold his."
I told the guy that i was into that i was into him and guess what… that guy told me he was into me. We’re dating. It was that simple. Lol
The problem with this generation is they don't even know who they are though. So trying to be genuine and authentic in dating is going to be really hard for them. They've been taught to follow trends to get attention. Unfortunately, if they're not told what to do and how to do it, they can't function lol.
i noticed that. i think millennials certainly followed trends too but what i see in younger teens now actually saddens me a lot. it appears, atleast from the outside, like they are totally disconnected from their authentic selves. and very deeply unhappy. i have empathy for them but also hope they choose better for themselves.
Literally joined the stream at the last few seconds. so I'ma rewatch everything I missed. Excited!
er correction premier
The first one is trouble. In current year, if she acts uninterested you're supposed to leave her alone and try your luck elsewhere. Otherwise you'll end up being called a stalker on the internet.
True
“Be a complete psycho” describes alllll of these videos perfectly 🤣🤣
Throw an eraser, giggle, then run and hide.... worked in 5th grade, works now, right??
lol, that shit was actually fun
Shit, you’d be accused of attempting to erase women for “the patriarchy” if you did that now. Most likely.
Congratulations Taylor and Taylor's wife!
I really like what you said about being with someone who challenges you to be better. That’s one of things I crave the most in my life. I’ve always sucked at motivating myself and it’s a skill I’m slowly learning as I get older. There’s nothing I want or need more than a man who will push me to be a better person and remind me I can do more than I think I can. I don’t want a yes man or a simp
I’d say try to love yourself as much as you can single. Don’t hold back treating or taking care of yourself because you want someone else to do it for you. I’m in a great relationship but it came after really working on myself.
Honestly the best thing that ever happened was meeting my husband when I wasn’t trying to catch anyone’s eye. I had actually just got out of a bad situationship but we both just enjoyed each others company and 7 years later we decided to make it a permanent thing. It was refreshing because we didn’t play games with one another.
None of my friends who play games (as adults) have had a relationship last any longer than a few months. I find it hilarious how they try to school me (i’m mushy and show affection when I feel it, not based on a schedule) and yet they can’t stop looking at their phones to check for new messages and obsess and read waaaaay too much into the social media posts of the men they are currently seeing 😂
Not so much for who to find someone but more so advice on how to work past arguments. My husband and I created together "rules for fighting", so things like no name calling, never threatening to leave the other, allowing us to pause the argument and regroup later and if possible try to avoid bringing things up before bed. Setting up boundaries in life and in arguments has allowed us to know we always respect each other and that we have the best intentions ❤️
The best dating advice I can give is to find someone who inspires you to be the best version of yourself. If you both lift each other up you can create something really beautiful.
Flirting is an age old dance that couples used to do when courting.
My advice is for those being scared to be in a relationship or asking someone you like out: take a chance and dive in. You might get turned down but at least you’ll know how the other person feels, and if you’re lucky enough that they feel the same, that’s even better. I learned this through experience.
Someone who loves you will always encourage you to be your best self. Because they want you to be happy. And they’ll be protective of you too. They will fight for you if needed and tell you how they feel. They’ll say I love you. And they’ll love you for who you are not who you’re not so always be real never fake or the relationship is based on a lie. You don’t want that.
pretending not to be interested to get a guy to chase you, while simultaneously telling men that if they show too much interest it's basically assault
I agree with the first woman, if you are like her, ignore men so we can know to date someone better.
That guitar in the background is beautiful 😍🎸
Best advice, be yourself, and if they don’t like you the way you want, respect their choices and move on
Yin and Yang the best advise I can give is look for someone who makes you better, for both sides, in a real relationship you are constantly growing and changing and you always want to move forward, life has too many challenges as it is to play all the games from these tic tock people.. thanks so much you guys you made me laugh and it was much needed , peace
for me the "talk about how awesome you ex was" is the WORST advice EVER!
Like when I see that a guy keeps talking about his ex and stuff I don't wanna get better than his ex, actually, I don't want ANYTHING with him cause to me it will seem like he's not over his ex yet
These are the same women who say, "I'm so tired of men playing games." Umm. Two wrongs don't make a right if that's truly what happened.
Remember dating is a means for finding the right person, don’t go into it assuming they are “the one” or beat yourself up if it doesn’t work out. It’s okay to question and scrutinize them, it’s basically an interview for spending your life together.
Best advice I could give someone, it's not a secrete and has been working for thousands of years. Be yourself, be honest and let him/her know you are interested.
I like to say ‘if it’s meant to happen, it will happen.’ Most men nowadays are tired of the games and just wants to know where a woman stands. Playing hard to get and putting on a facade will only make him think you’re immature. Be real, genuine, authentic. Bring what you have your unique quirks, what sets you apart to the table. Just be yourself.
There's a corneal of truth in some of these. 1) Have enough of a life where you aren't always available. 2) Don't constantly talk about your ex and how you are broken. 3)... You can't learn anything from toxic people...
Dating advice is only related to dating and in the case of men getting laid…hence why many of the male dating coaches are single- they and probably most of their followers aren’t looking for marriage lol
this is usually why men believe women are manipulative cause of crap like this not smart to lie and manipulate someone especially when a friendship or relationship is new be yourself don't lie it'll work everytime
As for that last one about the crap sandwich: As Jordan Peterson is always trying to point out... is there crap in your own sandwich though? You can’t make someone else the worst sandwich in the world and expect a perfect sandwich in return.
All these young ladies are teaching other young ladies how to play silly, immature and toxic games that will ensure they remain single forever.
Just be genuine. Pretending to be who you aren't doesn't ever work in The long run.
Men are are human beings and have feelings too. This generation is ensuring their own future loneliness.
Maybe it's because I'm in my 40's but 20 years ago it wasn't this bad.
Be you 100% and the right ones will stick around. It's so much easier to be authentic than faking your way through life with games.
They make me very happy that I’m single with no intentions for getting into another relationship in my lifetime.
The amount of people who should take advice from TikTok is zero.
23:10 I wonder how many times that backfires and the guy says "Special place? I don't know what you mean lol"
Thank you for good feedback back in these. I watched Matt’s and some responses were ok - but some of his feedback made me wonder if he was in a desirable relationship. Don’t (at all) wish that on my friends and family. This ? It’s usable. Thank you.
It’s too late for me to meet someone, and I’m probably too set in my ways late into my 30s, but I do feel for those younger than me trying to meet someone and stuck with awful advice and hookup culture. I’d dread trying to date nowadays, not that it was much better when I was young.
The reason you should be yourself in dating is exactly what they're saying, in 6 months or a year, you will inevitably slip out of the manufactured self you've been portraying. And if you try to keep it up, it will be exhausting! And if you don't think you are enough without putting on a fake persona, you need to deal with that insecurity first
My piece of dating advice, and I belive this to be the most important, find out what yoy want in a relationship. What are your boundaries, what is negotiable, and what are things you can compromise on. If there are questions you don't know the answer to, that is also fine.
Then when you actually are dating be honest and genuine. Communicate with your partner. Learn how to work through conflict and be willing to forgive your partner when they they make mistakes. Don't hold things against them for points. Relationships are not duels, it is a team effort.
I love it when Amalas African accent comes out😂 "embarazzingg!"😂
The problem with dating right now is people keep going for the BBD, the Bigger Better Deal, so women always want to date above themselves and Men are always looking for the hotter girl. I remember when I was young I had a friend who was dating a girl and my other friend's girlfriend told him 'Oh you can do better than her....'. This had nothing to do with her personality or how she acted, it was all about her looks....
Playing hard to get doesn’t work they’ll get bored and move on. In the start My partner almost stopped texting me bcos I wasn’t paying much attention to him and he thought I was playing hard or uninterested. I wasn’t, I was just going through a hard life moment. I made him wait 3 months of us talking online before I met him in person and we’ve been together for over a year now
good dating advice: don’t listen to tik tok
18:56 Men are competitive when they hear your ex did something bad to you. If they know your ex did something that you didn’t like or was horrible to you, they want to do the exact opposite to make the woman want them
If you want a good relationship and find someone to love “don’t lie.”
If these people are so good at relationships, why aren't any of them married with kids?
If you go in with no substance, you are gonna end up with a relationship with no substance. That leads to nothing but sadness and unfulfillment.
„if you want a man to buy you something“ that s your reason to want a relationship??
When communicating, use the number system. 10 means you want to do something a lot. 1 means you don’t want to do it a lot. 5 means you don’t care.
“Hard to get” means you are waving a carrot at them. You let them know you might be interested in them but they’ll have to work for it, which can be a fun thing to do when discovering new feelings.
Ghosting someone is simply mean and you are hurting people’s feelings for no reason, creating a culture of distrust and dependability like “ugh if he isn’t clingy enough, he’s not the right man for me”
These people are using these flexing tactics and headed straight to relationship misery
Not texting thing does work, but not for someone you wanna have a long term relationship. It more of a nash n dash thing
Literally the best dating advice is to just be your darn self.
When you’re dating, you aren’t competing with the other people they are talking to. You’re competing with how that person feels about their life before you showed up.
Your competing with how they feel alone without you.
yes to wise men!!! I'm glad my boyfriend is. I have learned so much from him!!!
Be Your self, if your going to be rejected or accepted, be both for being you,
The lady @17:00 is really onto something. Her tricks work so well that she has to keep moving onto another man!
If playing hard to get works prepare to have to be uninterested for the entire relationship. If you found the perfect man why would he want you?
All these dating advice tiktoks aren’t for relationships. They’re probably for casual hookups cause if you’re fake a normal relationship isn’t going to last.
I agree Amala. If you're not being honest, then you're just playing games.
Now I see why relationships doesn't work or last long these days.