Thank you for the roadmap example! You really put my thoughts in words. I used to be negative always and highlighting what was lacking in our lives (marriage, children) and in the past couple of months I’ve only focused on just on our relationship while trying to be fulfilled just by his presence and actions. Now it looks like that he has more confidence and thus motivation to deliver on those other wishes. 🙏
You must feel lonely ! Learn to communicate your feelings kindly and verbally! Maybe he's spoiled and takes you for granted. Talk to him, explain your actions and you feel he's not going 1/2 way. Or seems to not be contributing to the relationship! Relationship & communication go together.. listen to this video closely !
Ladies, I have done the respect a man even before he deserves it. It does not inspire a man to change. It just makes him think he can stay at that level, the level at which you do not trust and respect him.
Yeah, he lost me at that point too. By experience giving and showing a man respect when he is treating you wrong or not treating you right has resulted in the worst behaviour because it is rewarding someone for bad behaviour and they take that as you accepting it and it gets worse.
Everyone one of your tips is spot on. I’m going to watch this again and share it with my friend. I’ve been single and independent for a long time so it’s going to take work for me to accept help etc. Thank you.❤
Agreed! It’s near impossible to meet someone, then let alone both make an effort or want to be in a relationship. The odds are pretty bad I think now 😢
I met a phenomenal man several weeks ago. At the local market. He has shown great interest. Been kind, generous, attentive. A bit flirtatious but nothing inappropriate. He's a strong Christian. He hasn't asked for a date yet. We don't know one another that well. He's not the smooth talking, player type. He seems quite sincere. I feel cared for. Respected and honored. Am i being impatient hoping for a proper date?
Yes; you better be very smart, we live in dangerous times. And I would suggest observing him for awhile. Don't be in a hurry there are many obstacles to overcome once you're in a relationship and it doesn't go well. Better to stay on this side of a date and see how the guy really is. People put on the Ritz at first.
#6 is so accurate! 100% #5 is right too!! #4 is accurate too! He is not saying cooking for your man all the time is mothering but anticipating his needs all the time. And yes he can cook once in a while or take you out to eat. #3 is absolutely correct Respect him #2 yep-true too! I see women control their husbands and he never changes. #1 yes I learned all these the hardest way possible but now that I have this guy is right, I am happily married. And I learned this from men who do these kind of videos! Just try it but my other advice is try 1 to 2 things you want to change not 3,5,8 things you don’t like all at once because then he will feel like a failure. That is the last thing you want to make him feel!!
I understand this. I don't understand why cooking for someone is mothering them? Maybe I'm misunderstanding. Most people have a normal,healthy division of chores they agree upon. What if a man works 60 hours a week to be a good provider and the other person works part time in a profession they enjoy and do some extra housekeeping chores to make it easier for both. If this is mothering I think you are off base.
In my opinion it has to do with the underlying intentions with the act of, for example, cooking. If it’s your love language or something you’re happy to do, or part of an expressed win-win agreement, then it’s not mothering. But if you’re doing it out of resentful obligation, or “giving to get,” that comes off as mothering. I think the term itself might be what’s off base, though, because (positive) mothers are nurturing and there’s nothing wrong with that.
He’s just explaining to you that men want to do for you. Stop cooking for him, he rather take you out somewhere to dinner. This way he has a choice of what he likes to eat as well.
I feel like I had taken on the doormat phase of my relationship for awhile. Sometimes I did bring up other issues to him, and we did seem to resolve them. Overall, over time I didn’t seem to see anything changed but to be completely honest, I feel we both had a lot of emotional maturing to do!!
If the Lord isn't in it, it just won't work. Ever hear the proverb? " Unless the Lord builds the house, they that labor, labor in vain ". Google it. Follow Christ & you win everytime.
How about this? I ask my boyfriend if he likes the perfume that pop up on his phone and i ask him if he likes it as his birthday present, and he told me he likes it. I ask him that because he told me that this perfume is good. I didn't bought anything for him since we become boyfriend and girlfriend and for now we are almost 2 years in a relationship. Is this considered mothering?
A guy I just broke up with wanted me to take him on dates. Hating paying for dinner. And told me he’d never pay for my half of a vacation. He was also super avoidant and kept breaking up with me then coming back. I felt like he was a lost cause and waaaay to in his feminine for me to even try to magnetize him. Was I correct in this assessment?
🌈🌾🌻ThankYou Very helpful! With someone I've met I'm not sure how to get him to miss me because I'm trying to stay consistent! I could use some help on this to know the difference, ThankYou Kindly
@ ThankYou! I did try this about 7 months ago with someone. He wondered why I missed 2 days of contact and I've never heard back from him since, when he was absent in conversation most of the time over a very small misunderstanding of proving he wasn't a scammer!
I have self worth but attracted a covert narc and it was a day & nightmare. I knew nothing about narcissism. Its on the increase. Read 2 Timothy 3 in the bible. It spells it all out.
Being in my feminine was never appreciated and respected by the partner, he was much more comfortable when I would be in survival mode. Once I stepped into my femininity he would run.
I was with the same guy for over 10 years I was married and divorced to him I was seeing him after the divorce up until just a few months ago he was not willing to commit so I broke it off
As a counselor in training for my masters, I want to say thank you for your teachings , I am learning very much for added experience with school. I also want to say thank you for including God into the conversation, your principles are spot on. I would love to share my story Of a love that withstood time of 40 years. He is my best friend in H.S., and we never lost touch, however we loved each other. One mistake of not taking me to prom changed our lives, also the fact we never went out together, never knew each other intimately, but never stopped loving each other. Recently there is a reason why we connected, now we want to finally be together and behaving as you instruct also adds to that magnet. We discovered that we were always in love with each other. Thank you
My man doesn't want to talk to me. I treat him with love, respect and admiration. I want him to feel appreciated. But when I ask him to ask to talk to me he tells me he's busy all the time. Should I just end it? Like you said actions speak louder than words. He responds with huh, hm, and question marks
He's not your spouse? He doesn't appreciate you? Your a convenience. A place holder. I'd say leave & it will be painful. Refocus on your relationship with Christ. I'm praying for you right now.
My son was married for a few years to a woman that nagged him to death until she felt satisfied with their conversation. Which were always long and drawn-out and in-depth and way more details and overwhelming to my son than he could handle. Most men are NOT into talking about their FEELINGS. So they would rather just say they're busy then go down that trail of conversation. You might just be trying to say too much and he knows it.
If he is busy all the time, he has to figure out a time for you. Tell him, the lack of interaction I receive is not enough, however you are going to be patient, if he needs a space or a time alone, when would be the time he can be free. Suggest to him to hang out together.
YOU ARE MAKING EN SOUND SO VERY WEAK AND DEPENDENT ON THE WOMEN, THIS IS NOT THE REAL WORK. MANY BLESSING, I HAS TO SAY SO, THIS IS FAR FROM THE ACTUAL WAY THE FUN GIRL IS WHEN YOU ARE IN YR TWENTIES, COME ON..
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100% right...can speak for myself - learned this way too late in life
Thank you for the roadmap example! You really put my thoughts in words. I used to be negative always and highlighting what was lacking in our lives (marriage, children) and in the past couple of months I’ve only focused on just on our relationship while trying to be fulfilled just by his presence and actions. Now it looks like that he has more confidence and thus motivation to deliver on those other wishes. 🙏
Ive given more to a partner than I’ve ever received from them 😢
Same!
You must feel lonely ! Learn to communicate your feelings kindly and verbally! Maybe he's spoiled and takes you for granted. Talk to him, explain your actions and you feel he's not going 1/2 way. Or seems to not be contributing to the relationship! Relationship & communication go together.. listen to this video closely !
Ladies, I have done the respect a man even before he deserves it. It does not inspire a man to change. It just makes him think he can stay at that level, the level at which you do not trust and respect him.
Yeah the “respect a man” made me question… like they get respect when they treat us well, it’s a give and take here.
Yeah, he lost me at that point too. By experience giving and showing a man respect when he is treating you wrong or not treating you right has resulted in the worst behaviour because it is rewarding someone for bad behaviour and they take that as you accepting it and it gets worse.
this video literally came in the perfect moment in my life, love you
Super helpful. Always feels like I'm getting a huge therapy session when I watch these. I am forever grateful for all the insight.
Thank you! The song by Ne-Yo: She Got Her Own is the antithesis of this. Shame people are trying to confuse us. This video was helpful!
Everyone one of your tips is spot on. I’m going to watch this again and share it with my friend. I’ve been single and independent for a long time so it’s going to take work for me to accept help etc. Thank you.❤
Now I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life because it's not easy meeting people today
It's much more challenging but God can do the impossible. Don't be discouraged.
Agreed! It’s near impossible to meet someone, then let alone both make an effort or want to be in a relationship. The odds are pretty bad I think now 😢
Sometimes I feel like it’s better I became a guy because if I dated my same gender no too much stress
@agnestembo1446 lol 😆 that's funny you say that cuz my kids even said mom maybe you should try the other side
@agnestembo1446 but you're so young you have plenty of time you will meet someone
I met a phenomenal man several weeks ago. At the local market. He has shown great interest. Been kind, generous, attentive. A bit flirtatious but nothing inappropriate. He's a strong Christian. He hasn't asked for a date yet. We don't know one another that well. He's not the smooth talking, player type. He seems quite sincere. I feel cared for. Respected and honored. Am i being impatient hoping for a proper date?
Yes; you better be very smart, we live in dangerous times. And I would suggest observing him for awhile. Don't be in a hurry there are many obstacles to overcome once you're in a relationship and it doesn't go well.
Better to stay on this side of a date and see how the guy really is. People put on the Ritz at first.
Do not give him any money. No matter how good his story is.
I don't think he likes u that much if he hasn't asked u out
Maybe ask him to coffee. Go from there.
Totally Agree With Your Post👍👍👍
I offered to bring items for Thanksgiving dinner. FYI, This will be the first time I meet his family (his two daughters and son)..
#6 is so accurate! 100%
#5 is right too!!
#4 is accurate too! He is not saying cooking for your man all the time is mothering but anticipating his needs all the time. And yes he can cook once in a while or take you out to eat.
#3 is absolutely correct Respect him
#2 yep-true too! I see women control their husbands and he never changes.
#1 yes
I learned all these the hardest way possible but now that I have this guy is right, I am happily married.
And I learned this from men who do these kind of videos! Just try it but my other advice is try 1 to 2 things you want to change not 3,5,8 things you don’t like all at once because then he will feel like a failure. That is the last thing you want to make him feel!!
Thank you
I understand this. I don't understand why cooking for someone is mothering them? Maybe I'm misunderstanding. Most people have a normal,healthy division of chores they agree upon. What if a man works 60 hours a week to be a good provider and the other person works part time in a profession they enjoy and do some extra housekeeping chores to make it easier for both. If this is mothering I think you are off base.
In my opinion it has to do with the underlying intentions with the act of, for example, cooking. If it’s your love language or something you’re happy to do, or part of an expressed win-win agreement, then it’s not mothering. But if you’re doing it out of resentful obligation, or “giving to get,” that comes off as mothering. I think the term itself might be what’s off base, though, because (positive) mothers are nurturing and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Cooking aside, anytime there is resentment particulary resentment that lingers,it is the beginning of the end of any relationship.
He’s just explaining to you that men want to do for you. Stop cooking for him, he rather take you out somewhere to dinner. This way he has a choice of what he likes to eat as well.
😂 so, it's what makes him happy. @@Gotoworkkk
@@bethdouty4591very, very true!
I feel like I had taken on the doormat phase of my relationship for awhile. Sometimes I did bring up other issues to him, and we did seem to resolve them. Overall, over time I didn’t seem to see anything changed but to be completely honest, I feel we both had a lot of emotional maturing to do!!
If the Lord isn't in it, it just won't work. Ever hear the proverb? " Unless the Lord builds the house, they that labor, labor in vain ". Google it. Follow Christ & you win everytime.
Women can also give support to their partners, when needed. Almost anyone can learn to communicate / some emotional intelligence.
it makes my heart warm each time i see you upload honey
Honey 😂???? This guy's married 😮
@@tamitatangoto5134 women call everyone honey
You & Your beautiful wife...well, your a Godesend. I appreciate you.
Wow, thanks and you're so welcome!
How about this? I ask my boyfriend if he likes the perfume that pop up on his phone and i ask him if he likes it as his birthday present, and he told me he likes it. I ask him that because he told me that this perfume is good. I didn't bought anything for him since we become boyfriend and girlfriend and for now we are almost 2 years in a relationship. Is this considered mothering?
What does he do for you? What does he bring in the table?
Stop buying things for him. Perfume is an individual thing, not for the other person to like. But for yourself.
A guy I just broke up with wanted me to take him on dates. Hating paying for dinner. And told me he’d never pay for my half of a vacation. He was also super avoidant and kept breaking up with me then coming back. I felt like he was a lost cause and waaaay to in his feminine for me to even try to magnetize him. Was I correct in this assessment?
Yes.
Good for you for walking away!
YES!!
What about my man who actually has cheated on, disrespected me, walked away from our marriage?
What about the man that says what he's going to do but then does nothing? This is where I'm at. SMH
How to feel worthy of love and confident if you dont have physical beauty and you are not sexy?
No sound
Oh wonderfull so woman get the blame a gain know men learn too learn it,❤❤❤
🌈🌾🌻ThankYou Very helpful! With someone I've met I'm not sure how to get him to miss me because I'm trying to stay consistent! I could use some help on this to know the difference, ThankYou Kindly
Keep your distance. Don't initiate communication & wait on GOD. The Lord will tell you what's up.
@
ThankYou! I did try this about 7 months ago with someone. He wondered why I missed 2 days of contact and I've never heard back from him since, when he was absent in conversation most of the time over a very small misunderstanding of proving he wasn't a scammer!
I have self worth but attracted a covert narc and it was a day & nightmare. I knew nothing about narcissism. Its on the increase. Read 2 Timothy 3 in the bible. It spells it all out.
Being in my feminine was never appreciated and respected by the partner, he was much more comfortable when I would be in survival mode. Once I stepped into my femininity he would run.
My sister mothers her man constantly. Controlling & smothering him. He told her he's completely lost attraction for her & she doesnt get it.
I was with the same guy for over 10 years I was married and divorced to him I was seeing him after the divorce up until just a few months ago he was not willing to commit so I broke it off
Too difficult
Some one pls summarize
As a counselor in training for my masters, I want to say thank you for your teachings , I am learning very much for added experience with school. I also want to say thank you for including God into the conversation, your principles are spot on. I would love to share my story Of a love that withstood time of 40 years. He is my best friend in H.S., and we never lost touch, however we loved each other. One mistake of not taking me to prom changed our lives, also the fact we never went out together, never knew each other intimately, but never stopped loving each other. Recently there is a reason why we connected, now we want to finally be together and behaving as you instruct also adds to that magnet. We discovered that we were always in love with each other. Thank you
❤
but there are no 'man" outside, they are like little children.
😅😅😅
My man doesn't want to talk to me. I treat him with love, respect and admiration. I want him to feel appreciated. But when I ask him to ask to talk to me he tells me he's busy all the time. Should I just end it? Like you said actions speak louder than words. He responds with huh, hm, and question marks
He's not your spouse? He doesn't appreciate you? Your a convenience. A place holder. I'd say leave & it will be painful. Refocus on your relationship with Christ. I'm praying for you right now.
My son was married for a few years to a woman that nagged him to death until she felt satisfied with their conversation. Which were always long and drawn-out and in-depth and way more details and overwhelming to my son than he could handle.
Most men are NOT into talking about their FEELINGS. So they would rather just say they're busy then go down that trail of conversation.
You might just be trying to say too much and he knows it.
Have friends and hobbies so you can have people to talk to
If he is busy all the time, he has to figure out a time for you. Tell him, the lack of interaction I receive is not enough, however you are going to be patient, if he needs a space or a time alone, when would be the time he can be free. Suggest to him to hang out together.
@@tamitatangoto5134mom your the problem. I’m glad she’s no longer with your son.
YOU ARE MAKING EN SOUND SO VERY WEAK AND DEPENDENT ON THE WOMEN, THIS IS NOT THE REAL WORK. MANY BLESSING, I HAS TO SAY SO, THIS IS FAR FROM THE ACTUAL WAY
THE FUN GIRL IS WHEN YOU ARE IN YR TWENTIES, COME ON..