My father worked. My mother took care of the kids, home, finances etc....He put his check and stub in her hand every Wednesday. And raised 7 kids, educated Us all. He provided the finances. She provided the home.
I agree 💯 percent. I lived with my now husband for a while. I paid for the groceries. He paid for everything else. When we got married, he gave me the checkbook. I'm better with paying bills then he is. I'm the tax preparer. He's the cook. We have been happily married for almost 35 years. We have never had an argument about money. There's trust in our relationship. He never asks if the bills are paid. I got us. He makes the money and always says "our" money. Love you Fumi and Christina. You two are the dynamic duo of TH-cam. ❣️
You sound like my Mom ! That’s how my parents were!! My dad worked 3 jobs it was 8 of us kids and we had a great upbringing!! I miss my parents so much they worked hand in hand!! Yassss
I do understand but I don’t think it’s a good deal for her to go 50:50 with Dylan the guy has 5 children with other women I think and she has only one 🤷🏽♀️ that’s why she is stressed out she is carrying more than 50 besides Dywane makes 4x more than her hmmm
@@adebusolalizzy4903he has 2 boys with his ex wife and his nephew and then the little girl him and Gabrielle has so stop it acting like he got 5 kids 5 baby mamas
That's not true either . She said that she wanted 50/ 50 -- because OF " HOW SHE behaved in her other marriage , when SHE PAID EVERYTHING... (She cheated on and walked all over her husband) It had nothing to do with Dwayne
@@ketaakin33...He Has Another Child...I Think A Little Girl...BEFORE KAV. It Almost Broke Them Up.. For Good. Happened, After They Separated For Awhile...And He Got Caught Up Getting Pregnant...By Another Woman. He's Not Even ALLOWED To Bring This Child Around Gabrielle. It's More Or Less Kept A Secret. Who Is This Lady? What Does This Child Look Like? Is Wade Paying Child Support? I Bet He Is -Eh. 🤔🥺
My husband said that to me once I mean once my house and I am the master of this house. I was a good wife to him. Three weeks later I left. Separated he called me months later after many calls told me God gave him the best wife and he crushed her destroyed her and he apologized. I never once argued with him insulted him disrespected him. But when I saw the dangers to me I left quietly. These women are spot on.
@@hazelboyce7230 oh He has options alright and so does gabby, but he will fully pay for those options. He has a woman who actually truly loves him for whatever reason, that’s like winning the lottery. If he squanders it, he’ll be the biggest fool.
I can relate to this topic based on my experience. I'm a 36 year old woman that makes my own money now. When I was 27 I ended a relationship with my ex, a man who provided for me and bought me a lot of material things. When I no longer wanted to be in the relationship he demanded back EVERYTHING that he bought for me. He would show up at my place of work unannounced to intimate me, harrass me with messages one minute insulting me and apologizing on th next one. I was fortunate because I had a job so I PAID him back in exchange for my peace. Having your own money as a woman can be buy you peace and freedom.
Dwayne’s wife is saying the bills are stressing her out! And he’s trying to spin it like it’s a flex that she’s splitting the bills; especially when he can relieve her burden.
Yep , but don't forget that outside baby he had while they were on a break ! It was understood that he would do his part when she took him break or bagged him back !!
I would have never married him, especially how quickly he made a child with someone else knowing how Gabrielle struggled with fertility issues for years .
He also said in that video, and I paraphrase, that she's not going to be "stacking" her cash at his expense. I believe the mindset of many American black men (when it comes to marriage ) needs to be fully understood. They have been conditioned NOT to see marriage as a partnership. They are used to being carried and coddled by black women. Black men invented the 50/50 foolishness, and I believe it is only expected from nonblack women.
I totally agree with you!! Fumi I’m been married for 39 years to my husband raised 3 children together Oh yes! You must work as a team even when you don’t agree and understand a man’s position on certain decision a woman must use wisdom to build her house and make it a home. You must work together communicate and respect each other
Preach, Fumi! It is dangerous to completely financially depend on anyone - whether it be your partner, your family, or even your job. Always have more than one source of money because you never know what will happen.
I agree, but being financially independent and having a provider husband can co-exist simultaneously. A woman doesn't need to pay 50/50 (unless if that's what she chooses for her relationship), to prove that she's financially independent, but I respect Gabi's decision for her life and relationship.
Beautiful ladies!❤Eboni should marry a man who respects her and her ambition and her wealth because SOMETIMES men get jealous and insecure. I left my ex husband because he became jealous and angry each time I got a raise, promotion and academic achievement which benefitted our family but which he tried to sabotage. I left and never looked back because he hated and ridiculed my ambition while he extolled the same in others. Instead of working on goals for himself his controlling behavior was the demise of our relationship.
@@VivSeesMy own brother mistreated his wife the mother of his sons out of jealousy. She is a college graduate and lso graduated from a local Tech College while she was a manager at Dunkin Doughnuts. He would show up on her job demanding she come home and cook for him. My four sisters and I confronted him and told him to stop bullying and disrespecting her. Furthermore, he beat her bloody, was arrested but still tried to justify his behavior. She left him, remarried to a high school teacher, had a daughter who we consider our niece and my mother considered her granddaughter. When my sister in law got her own place with her sons we made sure she had money groceries and her boys were well taken care of. However, my brother demanded we not help her but we just ignored him. She is still family and when my brother tries to talk bad about her we stop him in his tracks. It is not always other people but abusive narcissists can be in your own family like mine.
My sister in law got a great job and even worked in an Italian Bakery to afford a car. She got a great job for in a Doctor's Office and we are proud of her.
I just got engaged on Mother’s Day this year at 51 years old and as soon as I said yes ( not right in the moment but the next day) my fiancé gave me his account info and told me to set every last one of my bills to his account for auto pay.. didn’t even ask me what my monthly cost are ❤ ladies don’t settle .. I waited and I’m being treated like the queen I am!
Their arrangement should be based on equity. Maybe 50% of each of their salary. Expecting her to pay 50% of the bills while he earns wayyyy more than her is unfair.
True 50/50 is about home & relationship labor as well, not just finances. But many of these men make it solely about finances, yet women are doing 90% of everything else.
Sis. Fumi, you were preaching and laying down wisdom for the ladies! 💯 Marriage is more than what can be provided. It’s about supporting, loving, and navigating life together. The good. The bad. Together. ❤
Thank you for your encouragement!! No sympathy for Gabby, she gets what she gets Dwayne was a married man with young boys when she took him from his wife. 😫😫
You both look Fabulous! I'm 55yrs old and I'm trying to lose this 55lbs. I lost my Stepfather, Father, and Brother all within 3 months of each other 2 yrs ago. Depression set in and I gained weight. I'm trying to use you two as my guides to lose it. Thank you both❤
I think Christiana is an amazing guest/co-host. It's how she looks at Fumi and looks at the camera like she's aware of the conversation and the people behind the screen.
I disagree with you Fumi and Christina. Your husbands are on your level, financially and educationally. There is research that shows men whose women out earn them, feel emasculated and resentful. They often cheat on lessor earning women to feel masculine.
Facts!! This was such a necessary conversation. And young women need to understand and hear it. There is reciprocity balance and sharing on both sides. Compromise understanding caring sharing. Facts!! My uncles are this way married living and I got to see how men treat women and how women are their wives are awesome. Thank you for speaking so openly.
Christina has such a beautiful beaming smile, her smile even made me teary. You ladies look absolutely beautiful. You`re blessed with so much wisdom Fumi I can`t even fathom how wise you are.❤❤❤❤
Fumi, it’s very unsafe for a woman to marry a man who has less (especially black women). I don’t care what they say they ultimately can’t take it. I promise you they will turn on you. Also, it’s about class. It was horrible when I married a garbage man. His friends and their women couldn’t stand me because they said I was stuck up and he always felt that my friends thought he was a scrub. But it was all in their minds.
The gap can exist but can never be too big… it’s also complicated if you’re white collar and his blue colour. A lot of men are insecure. They think their only value is in money. If they’re not richer than you, they don’t see why you would respect them
A woman marrying a man who is lower than her in social-economic scale rarely ever works. The man will resent. Man even resent woman who work harder than them. Men demand respect, and struggle with the idea of demanding respect from a woman who is higher than them on the social economic scale. It’s only in our dysfunctional community where a woman should pull a brother up. Who pulled Ebony up? Why can’t the man pull himself up. If he can’t pull up himself how on earth would he lead and take care of a family. My goodness.
This is one of the most balanced, pragmatic discussions I have ever heard online. Thank you Fumi and Christina!!!💐 Finally a discourse grounded in experience and reality!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. A relationship is not just bank statement of transactions is it? It's not sex appeal, swag, money and resources that you bring to the table, but the love you have for each other and your life management skills, that's what you bring to the table, no?
So let me get this, the 50/50 came about cause the husband said"My House"🚩🚩. When you get married it's a WE thing. I now get why people were/are against what she said. This brings a level of insecurities in a home, like where are you putting your wife?? Nope..
Aunty Fumi and Fumination, To be fair to Dwayne Wade, my understanding of his reference to 'my house', had to do with the house which he had owned outright, perhaps before he and Sister Gabrielle Union got together...like the house she met him with and moved into. Don't get me wrong, I'm in NO WAY excusing Dwayne Wade's remarks, because he could have been more sensitive to the fact that he was no longer single, and therefore it was now an 'our house' kinda situation. Let me say however, as an independent-minded sister, who had vowed at a very young age, to never be dependent on any man, I can absolutely relate to, and do support Sister Gabrielle's position... going forward, it's going to be 'OURS' in every sense of the word - Sis was making sure she had skin in the game up front AND she made sure to check him right then and there, so he couldn't say he didn't know. As usual, Aunty Fumi, you (and the beautiful Christina) have brought such balance and clarity to this matter. Honestly, I can't understand the mindset of some of our fellow sisters - wanting to be INDEPENDENT , LIBERATED WOMEN, AND YET STILL WANTING TO HAVE A MAN COMPLETELY SUPPORT THEM FINANCIALLY! Seems hypocritical to me 🤔, IJS.
Thank you Fumi. You are so right..as sisters we need to be independent. I was just like you when I was married. My ex-husband provided everything. We had a great life. So I thought.... until he had kids on the outside. Fumi I left him with the house. I was jobless at the time and had 3 kids. Two years later God blessed me abundantly with a great job as a CFO and my home. Please Fumi nation listen to sound advice. ❤❤❤❤
What? Girl. You were meant to get alimony payments. BlCk women never do it correctly then say things like ‘marriage means nothing’ or ‘have your own’ as if that isn’t common sense 😂. Since he provided for everything. If you did it right, you would have won the case big time under the court of law. There was no way he couldve left you homeless especially with a child and he would’ve thought twice before having an outside anything 😂 It’s only by Gods grace that you managed but teach your daughters to learn from your mistakes. They must cross their T’s and dot their I’s when marrying because it weren’t supposed to be like that. Unfortunately You got finessed.
@@gailainsley6939its funny that you are using a laughing emoji cos she didn't get alimony. You do realise child support and alimony are two different things?? and alimony is not guaranteed. I'm not sure the states in the world but I heard in the West is 15% chance of getting alimony.
@gailainsley6939 You should never laugh at another woman's pain, especially not because of information you think she is missing. You could just lovingly provide the information instead. Your comment is saying a lot more about you than it is about the woman you are criticizing.
Auntie Funmi!!!! You're the real deal!! This was a conversation that's needed in our society today. You both did justice to this. God bless your beautiful souls♥️
Preach my sister preach you are so on point. When you said life will happen on a Wednesday to you , you better be prepared to help your partner. I had a car accident dislocated my knee,tore 3 ligaments, broke my leg bone. Never expected this life turn ,but I have to depend on my partner 100% financially but I have also been there for him when he was having a set back. Team work thanks a bunch ladies
Thank you Fumi, I got goosebumps when you mentioned your father and kindness and generosity, that's the language I have always spoken, because kindness is beautiful
You are 200% right. Finding the right bus driver is the key. Finding the right somebody that has the right work ethics and right overall right attitude.
Fumi I’m 53 and I agree with everything you have said. It may take them to experience what we have experienced. Each time you speak in your videos, We are saying the same thing. Great video.
Fumi, this got to me really good. We girls have to learn that we don't have to go through similar mistakes our elder sister went through to learn. We must love ourselves better and learn from our sister, who went ahead of us. Therefore we can live a better life than they did. Why should you go through the same hole or endure a similar scar as your sister? It justifies nothing but also exemplifies our ignorance.
TOGETHER!!! 😍. What matters is what your spouse does with what they have. It doesn't matter how much they make. Are they a giver? Are they generous? Do they care about you? And covers you with what they have?
My daughter is young and gorgeous in college dating a bus driver. He makes great money and more than that he's great to her and her toddler daughter ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Their marriage does not sound like a partnership but an agreement. Although not my business, they are spreading their wealth amongst too many folks! Gabrielle sounds stressed!
Me and my husband are the same Fumi!!! We have a joint account, bills come out, we have savings, nothing is separate. To us, this is normal . It is always us , we and not “I”. We laugh, cry and have struggled together. United we stand no matter what ❤
If this works for you that's great but I am a strong believer that no matter how much you love each other always have some money for yourself especially as a woman. I dnt mean you hide money from him but always have something for yourself men can easily turn against you.
“Hardest”, i don’t know.. but I agree that stay home mom is a hard job. I say so because a lot of full-time working mom have 2 jobs! Employee and full-time mom. It’s not like working women work and go home to sleep. For most of them, they go home and do the job you are doing. Respectfully
I remember how my daughters father kept on telling me get out of my house, so many times. And that time my daughter was a couple of months! She is 28 now and this really brought some tears in my eyes.
Growing up, my father would always say "my house" and "y'all are living off of me." I told myself that was the last man I'd hear say that. I've never, ever had the desire to share my life with someone or have children. I just wanted peace. And looking back, I definitely made the right decision. Staying single with no kids is not for everyone, but I knew it was right for me.
Hi Fumi, I think there's a lot going on with Dwayne and Gabrielle that the street do not know 😅. She is making the public know what is going on so if push come to shove and God forbid they have to have a divorce no one cannot blame her. When see someone is not happy with something they talk. I wish them all the the best.
Gabby let her ego write a check her ass couldn’t cash. She said from now on we go 50/50. She did that. If he wanted a white woman he could have had one several times over
THIS!!! No one ever said she shouldn't have her own money or help out. I'm not liking the narrative of unless she's paying half, she's not contribting at all. Or that she doesn't work and wants to depend on him soley. We are strictly speaking on her pay HALF..Not her having her own money.
Fumi, I respect you so much AND I hope you don't wear yourself out working so hard and getting so little sleep! I know those of us who are following you would want you to take care of your self even if it meant you posted less often. ❤
Ladies looking FABULOUS as always! The subject was riveting, and it gave me flashbacks of my single, professional, career driven years. Women need to support women because it’s hard out there.
I definitely agree with you Aunty Fumi that you need to somehow make sure you are contributing to the household somehow to avoid something like this from happening to you. And like you said it begins with communication, to be able to know each other’s headspace preferrably before you jump the broom. And if you're already married, it's not too late, there is still hope to turn it around. And nothing is written on stone, so open communication, mutual respect will always be vital throughout the relationship or marriage
Auntie Fumi, I am so fortunate to have come across your channel as I learned so much and have corrected my way of thinking because you showed me another way that benefits myself and my family. Thank you!!!
Ms. Fumi you are so right! I will take your advice to heart. There is definitely a few things I must sort out using the cheat sheet. I don’t need to experience hardship to learn the lesson. Thank you
That's why she is the way she is. He didn't assure her he's the provider and she's the woman of the home. Thus she feels she needs to bring 50 to the table to feel some sort of belonging . Argh
As I commented on your video about Gabrielle Union and husband, she is doing 50/50 because she needs to feel secure. So my question is, are a healthy marriage need to push one partner to feel the need to be 50/50 to feel secure?
Fumi I was so amazed at your weight loss and now I’m blown away at how fabulous Christina looks. You two look fabulous!! Please share how you did this in your 50’s.
Hi Fumi and Christina!! I enjoyed the collaboration and conversation! Thank you both for being transparent and for shedding light on real life in these streets. Women, we have to be realistic. It’s ok to have preferences, just know that men have them as well. Relationships are about GIVE and TAKE not just TAKE. Fumi, the way you pulled us in with “real” life should incite a reexamination of expectations. Life is not always shiny and golden. It may start out that way but what happens when it fades? Can the relationship stand the test of time? I don’t always comment on your videos but I LOVE your content, your personality, your character, your style. You are everything! I will forever be a supporter. Thank you for what you do. Thank you Eula(I apologize for misspelling his name)for sharing her with us!
I totally understand Gabriel Union. My husband said that to me “this is my house”, soon after I relocated from my country n living with him while I had no documentation and couldn’t work; though I was contributing with what little money that was being sent to me from my country…He also said whoever makes the money, or most of the money has the control, even as far as to say “I don’t want you here”. I have been in survival mode ever since 🤦🏽♀️. Not like I ever asked him for anything as I have always been independent
This is real talk!! Always always have your own in case something goes awry.. or simply to avoid him or her saying “get out MY HOUSE”. Don’t do it ladies..
Fumi is giving the short cut to a successful relationship/marriage but the tik tok “relationship experts” who are super single have the world living in delusion😂 great content as always.
Fumi is the delusional one here. She comes from the generation that brlieved in building a man to be successful. Yet the state of the black community is more than enough evidence that it DOES NOT WORK! What Fumi fails to understand is that in her case her husband provided for her. He was able to keep his role as protector and provider. The opposite most of the tine is not the case. You either end up like Wendy Williams or Sherri shepherd or Mary J Blige. Their outcomes are far more common and we don't want that.
You ladies look beautiful. Fumi you are absolutely on point. God bless ❤And Wow Norway is a smart country, they paid for you to go to school to learn their language, they had it figured out that it would be a hecka of a lot cheaper then hiring millions of translators, brilliant.
I absolutely agree and love the feedback and advice from both of you! I’m in a childless 18 year rocky marriage, which I no longer want to be apart of due to selfishness and inconsideration! I’ll be 42 next month and feel like my soulmate is out there and I’m ready to start over and find true love, loyalty, team player and possibly have a happy, strong and healthy family!🥰🤩🥳
I love this conversation from you too beautiful women. I wish I would’ve paid attention to this when I was a stay at home mom 35 yrs ago and I think over the years my husband did resent a little. ,but he was raised with the man taking care of the woman eventually when the youngest of our three children started preschool. I did start working.and that gave me a little bit more self worth, and respect in a marriage.. I will say staying at home with the best years of my life. I didn’t know it then, but I realize it now my husband passed away in 2020 and I used to wish I could have a do over
First, both of you ladies are absolutely beautiful. This episode was wonderful in going deeper into your thoughts from that first video. You gave many wise helpful advice in this one. Please do more videos together❤
I was about to take a critical stance but you both are speaking through experience. Marriage takes team work and a lot of communication. We all know how life can take an unexpected turn. We say “for better or for worse” but I believe we don’t truly understand what that means until we experience it.
I am glad more women are encouraging younger women to freeze their eggs. It is also important to let women know that IVF is not a road for the weak.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🏆🏆🏆🏆💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
Don’t leave it too late! Get this underway if you can before you turn 30.
Nor is egg freezing cheap or 100% fool-proof...
It's expensive and there are no guarantees.
❤ beautiful 🥰 and powerful 💪💪
My father worked. My mother took care of the kids, home, finances etc....He put his check and stub in her hand every Wednesday. And raised 7 kids, educated Us all. He provided the finances. She provided the home.
That was her job and they agreed on that ,I'm sure . working from home .
Same at my house 🏠. My father worked and mom stayed at home. She took care of the household and only 2 children (my sister and I).
They was married at 18 back in the 1969. I was born in 1970.
@ Yvette thank you for your mother teaching.. blessings on her soul. Blessings on your family
I'm not handing nobody my check. Fwwy
When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” Maya Angelou.
Absolutely.
I STAND By those WORDS STRONGLY Because it is the TRUTH..
I agree 💯 percent. I lived with my now husband for a while. I paid for the groceries. He paid for everything else. When we got married, he gave me the checkbook. I'm better with paying bills then he is. I'm the tax preparer. He's the cook. We have been happily married for almost 35 years. We have never had an argument about money. There's trust in our relationship. He never asks if the bills are paid. I got us. He makes the money and always says "our" money.
Love you Fumi and Christina. You two are the dynamic duo of TH-cam. ❣️
You sound like my Mom ! That’s how my parents were!! My dad worked 3 jobs it was 8 of us kids and we had a great upbringing!! I miss my parents so much they worked hand in hand!! Yassss
That’s exactly why she wanted 50/50 because she knew that Dwayne was that kind of man that would throw it in her face if he was the provider.
I do understand but I don’t think it’s a good deal for her to go 50:50 with Dylan the guy has 5 children with other women I think and she has only one 🤷🏽♀️ that’s why she is stressed out she is carrying more than 50 besides Dywane makes 4x more than her hmmm
@@adebusolalizzy4903he has 2 boys with his ex wife and his nephew and then the little girl him and Gabrielle has so stop it acting like he got 5 kids 5 baby mamas
That's not true either . She said that she wanted 50/ 50 -- because OF " HOW SHE behaved in her other marriage , when SHE PAID EVERYTHING... (She cheated on and walked all over her husband)
It had nothing to do with Dwayne
@@ketaakin33...He Has Another Child...I Think A Little Girl...BEFORE KAV. It Almost Broke Them Up.. For Good. Happened, After They Separated For Awhile...And He Got Caught Up Getting Pregnant...By Another Woman. He's Not Even ALLOWED To Bring This Child Around Gabrielle. It's More Or Less Kept A Secret. Who Is This Lady? What Does This Child Look Like? Is Wade Paying Child Support? I Bet He Is -Eh.
🤔🥺
@@kaydubya6347Her other husband looked like a toad. I would have cheated on him too, in fact, I would never have married that!
Dwane would have been in HIS house by himself.
🤣🤣😭😭😭
My husband said that to me once I mean once my house and I am the master of this house. I was a good wife to him. Three weeks later I left. Separated he called me months later after many calls told me God gave him the best wife and he crushed her destroyed her and he apologized. I never once argued with him insulted him disrespected him. But when I saw the dangers to me I left quietly. These women are spot on.
@@hazelboyce7230Yea, he might have options. But are those quality options?
Period
@@hazelboyce7230 oh He has options alright and so does gabby, but he will fully pay for those options. He has a woman who actually truly loves him for whatever reason, that’s like winning the lottery. If he squanders it, he’ll be the biggest fool.
I agree, “it’s my house” is a threat & I would have made him stand on that ✌🏾
Right I wouldve let him stand in that house alone.
I agree. When you get married it's not about just YOU anymore. 🙅♀️
I can relate to this topic based on my experience. I'm a 36 year old woman that makes my own money now. When I was 27 I ended a relationship with my ex, a man who provided for me and bought me a lot of material things. When I no longer wanted to be in the relationship he demanded back EVERYTHING that he bought for me. He would show up at my place of work unannounced to intimate me, harrass me with messages one minute insulting me and apologizing on th next one. I was fortunate because I had a job so I PAID him back in exchange for my peace. Having your own money as a woman can be buy you peace and freedom.
Yassss Yassss Yassss absolutely
My God he must be an American man. That's how they r. Caribbean men never does that.
@@donethmiller1963I dated a Caribbean guy who did that. This is not about ethnicity.
@@LilDrummergurl48 smdh people outchea talking reckless
House filled with beauty. Christina looks absolutely beautiful ❤
She has a beautiful smile it lights up the room
I would love to know what skin care products they use. They are both beautiful women.
So much melanin in one video.
They look so gorgeous ❤
Dwayne’s wife is saying the bills are stressing her out! And he’s trying to spin it like it’s a flex that she’s splitting the bills; especially when he can relieve her burden.
Yep , but don't forget that outside baby he had while they were on a break ! It was understood that he would do his part when she took him break or bagged him back !!
I would have never married him, especially how quickly he made a child with someone else knowing how Gabrielle struggled with fertility issues for years .
She put herself in that position.
He also said in that video, and I paraphrase, that she's not going to be "stacking" her cash at his expense. I believe the mindset of many American black men (when it comes to marriage ) needs to be fully understood. They have been conditioned NOT to see marriage as a partnership. They are used to being carried and coddled by black women. Black men invented the 50/50 foolishness, and I believe it is only expected from nonblack women.
Precisely! She appears burdened.
My uncle is a medical doctor back home, and he had to take a job working the toll booths in the US while studying for his matching exam.
The two of you are inspiring so many women all over the world.
True: both physically stunning _and_ intellectually astute.
Facts
I’m 57 single with a fifteen yrs old son,I’m learning from you two beautiful women,thanks for such a well deserved conversation.❤
Tooo much fabulousity in one video. Absolutely gorgeous ❤
Fumi, the baby blue looks gorgeous on your skin. You look beautiful! Christina looks absolutely beautiful and that red lip is everything.
Radiating right❤
I totally agree with you!! Fumi I’m been married for 39 years to my husband raised 3 children together Oh yes! You must work as a team even when you don’t agree and understand a man’s position on certain decision a woman must use wisdom to build her house and make it a home. You must work together communicate and respect each other
A man's position, as in he might need help due to circumstances or as a leader?
Preach, Fumi! It is dangerous to completely financially depend on anyone - whether it be your partner, your family, or even your job. Always have more than one source of money because you never know what will happen.
I agree, but being financially independent and having a provider husband can co-exist simultaneously. A woman doesn't need to pay 50/50 (unless if that's what she chooses for her relationship), to prove that she's financially independent, but I respect Gabi's decision for her life and relationship.
Beautiful ladies!❤Eboni should marry a man who respects her and her ambition and her wealth because SOMETIMES men get jealous and insecure. I left my ex husband because he became jealous and angry each time I got a raise, promotion and academic achievement which benefitted our family but which he tried to sabotage. I left and never looked back because he hated and ridiculed my ambition while he extolled the same in others. Instead of working on goals for himself his controlling behavior was the demise of our relationship.
Rose Amberzine you are completely correct. Many males resent a successful or ambitious woman.
@@VivSeesMy own brother mistreated his wife the mother of his sons out of jealousy. She is a college graduate and lso graduated from a local Tech College while she was a manager at Dunkin Doughnuts. He would show up on her job demanding she come home and cook for him. My four sisters and I confronted him and told him to stop bullying and disrespecting her. Furthermore, he beat her bloody, was arrested but still tried to justify his behavior. She left him, remarried to a high school teacher, had a daughter who we consider our niece and my mother considered her granddaughter. When my sister in law got her own place with her sons we made sure she had money groceries and her boys were well taken care of. However, my brother demanded we not help her but we just ignored him. She is still family and when my brother tries to talk bad about her we stop him in his tracks. It is not always other people but abusive narcissists can be in your own family like mine.
My sister in law got a great job and even worked in an Italian Bakery to afford a car. She got a great job for in a Doctor's Office and we are proud of her.
I just got engaged on Mother’s Day this year at 51 years old and as soon as I said yes ( not right in the moment but the next day) my fiancé gave me his account info and told me to set every last one of my bills to his account for auto pay.. didn’t even ask me what my monthly cost are ❤ ladies don’t settle .. I waited and I’m being treated like the queen I am!
Amen. Proud of you!!
The skin!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥
One person makes 1 dollar, the other makes 25 cents. 50/50 is unbalanced... Any financial adviser would tell you that. It is actually financial abuse.
Their arrangement should be based on equity. Maybe 50% of each of their salary. Expecting her to pay 50% of the bills while he earns wayyyy more than her is unfair.
True 50/50 is about home & relationship labor as well, not just finances. But many of these men make it solely about finances, yet women are doing 90% of everything else.
Sis. Fumi, you were preaching and laying down wisdom for the ladies! 💯
Marriage is more than what can be provided. It’s about supporting, loving, and navigating life together. The good. The bad. Together. ❤
Correct agree 100%
…yeah, doing ALL thaT Only with the Right person
Thank you for your encouragement!! No sympathy for Gabby, she gets what she gets Dwayne was a married man with young boys when she took him from his wife. 😫😫
You both look Fabulous! I'm 55yrs old and I'm trying to lose this 55lbs. I lost my Stepfather, Father, and Brother all within 3 months of each other 2 yrs ago. Depression set in and I gained weight. I'm trying to use you two as my guides to lose it. Thank you both❤
So sorry for your loss. May God guide you through it all. Wishing you all the best!
So sorry for your loss. May God guide you through it all. Wishing you all the best!
I love how Christian sometimes finishes Fumi’s sentences. I can tell they are good friends
I think Christiana is an amazing guest/co-host. It's how she looks at Fumi and looks at the camera like she's aware of the conversation and the people behind the screen.
Luv when they together 2❤
I disagree with you Fumi and Christina. Your husbands are on your level, financially and educationally. There is research that shows men whose women out earn them, feel emasculated and resentful. They often cheat on lessor earning women to feel masculine.
That is true. You are 💯💯💯
Yes . Their ego and pride
Latest example: Kevin and Wendy Williams. A whole mess!
Y'all so beautiful... unified... refined... Breathtaking ❤
I'm glad my dad & my uncles who make less ain't like the men in this world in so many ways... my goodness
Facts!! This was such a necessary conversation. And young women need to understand and hear it. There is reciprocity balance and sharing on both sides. Compromise understanding caring sharing. Facts!! My uncles are this way married living and I got to see how men treat women and how women are their wives are awesome. Thank you for speaking so openly.
Christina has such a beautiful beaming smile, her smile even made me teary. You ladies look absolutely beautiful. You`re blessed with so much wisdom Fumi I can`t even fathom how wise you are.❤❤❤❤
Fumi, it’s very unsafe for a woman to marry a man who has less (especially black women). I don’t care what they say they ultimately can’t take it. I promise you they will turn on you. Also, it’s about class. It was horrible when I married a garbage man. His friends and their women couldn’t stand me because they said I was stuck up and he always felt that my friends thought he was a scrub. But it was all in their minds.
The gap can exist but can never be too big… it’s also complicated if you’re white collar and his blue colour.
A lot of men are insecure. They think their only value is in money. If they’re not richer than you, they don’t see why you would respect them
I did it and I ended up getting but in the ass. Never again
It depends on the man. I make nearly twice what my husband does. It has never really been an issue.
Yep. ..sometimes they will either turn on you or try to use you.
A woman marrying a man who is lower than her in social-economic scale rarely ever works. The man will resent. Man even resent woman who work harder than them. Men demand respect, and struggle with the idea of demanding respect from a woman who is higher than them on the social economic scale.
It’s only in our dysfunctional community where a woman should pull a brother up. Who pulled Ebony up? Why can’t the man pull himself up. If he can’t pull up himself how on earth would he lead and take care of a family. My goodness.
This is one of the most balanced, pragmatic discussions I have ever heard online. Thank you Fumi and Christina!!!💐 Finally a discourse grounded in experience and reality!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. A relationship is not just bank statement of transactions is it? It's not sex appeal, swag, money and resources that you bring to the table, but the love you have for each other and your life management skills, that's what you bring to the table, no?
Yes!! Exactly 💯 this.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@Keesh73 iiiii
Sis Funmi, I agree with you 100%, it should be one united family aiming at same goal, making the family happy, united and progressive.
In a perfect world, but when their are humans involved, it’s not that black and white.
So let me get this, the 50/50 came about cause the husband said"My House"🚩🚩. When you get married it's a WE thing. I now get why people were/are against what she said. This brings a level of insecurities in a home, like where are you putting your wife?? Nope..
Aunty Fumi and Fumination,
To be fair to Dwayne Wade, my understanding of his reference to 'my house', had to do with the house which he had owned outright, perhaps before he and Sister Gabrielle Union got together...like the house she met him with and moved into.
Don't get me wrong, I'm in NO WAY excusing Dwayne Wade's remarks, because he could have been more sensitive to the fact that he was no longer single, and therefore it was now an 'our house' kinda situation.
Let me say however, as an independent-minded sister, who had vowed at a very young age, to never be dependent on any man, I can absolutely relate to, and do support Sister Gabrielle's position... going forward, it's going to be 'OURS' in every sense of the word - Sis was making sure she had skin in the game up front AND she made sure to check him right then and there, so he couldn't say he didn't know.
As usual, Aunty Fumi, you (and the beautiful Christina) have brought such balance and clarity to this matter.
Honestly, I can't understand the mindset of some of our fellow sisters - wanting to be INDEPENDENT , LIBERATED WOMEN, AND YET STILL WANTING TO HAVE A MAN COMPLETELY SUPPORT THEM FINANCIALLY! Seems hypocritical to me 🤔, IJS.
Men. 😂 it’s hard to find a man ESPECIALLY “high value” western men who don’t think like this “it’s my house, I hustled for it, I pay for it”
That's why I'm gonna buy my own HOUSE
All the men are The same means my HOUSE 😈😈😈
@@rubyreduxxexactly. Their 'high value' is utter nonsense and rubbish talk.
Never should have said "My house" I'm sure Gabrielle knows it's his house, but when they said "I do" it should have become "Our Home."
Thank you Fumi. You are so right..as sisters we need to be independent. I was just like you when I was married. My ex-husband provided everything. We had a great life. So I thought.... until he had kids on the outside. Fumi I left him with the house. I was jobless at the time and had 3 kids. Two years later God blessed me abundantly with a great job as a CFO and my home. Please Fumi nation listen to sound advice. ❤❤❤❤
You are so right. I left an abusive marriage with everything behind. I hustled for the family but was not appreciated.
What? Girl. You were meant to get alimony payments. BlCk women never do it correctly then say things like ‘marriage means nothing’ or ‘have your own’ as if that isn’t common sense 😂. Since he provided for everything. If you did it right, you would have won the case big time under the court of law. There was no way he couldve left you homeless especially with a child and he would’ve thought twice before having an outside anything 😂 It’s only by Gods grace that you managed but teach your daughters to learn from your mistakes. They must cross their T’s and dot their I’s when marrying because it weren’t supposed to be like that. Unfortunately You got finessed.
@@gailainsley6939its funny that you are using a laughing emoji cos she didn't get alimony. You do realise child support and alimony are two different things?? and alimony is not guaranteed. I'm not sure the states in the world but I heard in the West is 15% chance of getting alimony.
@gailainsley6939 You should never laugh at another woman's pain, especially not because of information you think she is missing. You could just lovingly provide the information instead. Your comment is saying a lot more about you than it is about the woman you are criticizing.
Auntie Funmi!!!! You're the real deal!! This was a conversation that's needed in our society today. You both did justice to this. God bless your beautiful souls♥️
It's refreshing hearing so much wisdom from these two remarkable women. This is knowledge many women need to hear today.
Preach my sister preach you are so on point. When you said life will happen on a Wednesday to you , you better be prepared to help your partner. I had a car accident dislocated my knee,tore 3 ligaments, broke my leg bone. Never expected this life turn ,but I have to depend on my partner 100% financially but I have also been there for him when he was having a set back. Team work thanks a bunch ladies
Thank you Fumi, I got goosebumps when you mentioned your father and kindness and generosity, that's the language I have always spoken, because kindness is beautiful
You are 200% right. Finding the right bus driver is the key. Finding the right somebody that has the right work ethics and right overall right attitude.
Fumi I’m 53 and I agree with everything you have said. It may take them to experience what we have experienced. Each time you speak in your videos, We are saying the same thing. Great video.
Hearing Auntie Fumi's laughter and giggles are an everyday must, and especially on the days when one may not be feeliing on top of the world.
You delivered a whole sermon on marriage ❤🎉🎉🎉 YEEES!!!! Preach!
Fumi, this got to me really good. We girls have to learn that we don't have to go through similar mistakes our elder sister went through to learn. We must love ourselves better and learn from our sister, who went ahead of us. Therefore we can live a better life than they did. Why should you go through the same hole or endure a similar scar as your sister? It justifies nothing but also exemplifies our ignorance.
Well Ms. Union knew what she was signing on for with Mr. Wade! She was the main/side chick from go. No judgement we know what it is!
Gabriel has millions so she didn't need to be a side chick.
Side chick 😮. What goes around? But wish them well.
I forgot that part …she should have walked long ago
Side chick? If he was legally separated then she was not a side chick.
@@mzprince4139separation is not a divorce. Mr. Wade was legally married when she got with him. Like his ex-said, the rest of time will tell.
TOGETHER!!! 😍. What matters is what your spouse does with what they have. It doesn't matter how much they make. Are they a giver? Are they generous? Do they care about you? And covers you with what they have?
Christina is SERVING those red lips!!! GORGEOUS!!
My daughter is young and gorgeous in college dating a bus driver. He makes great money and more than that he's great to her and her toddler daughter ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm listening. I'm learning and you guys re-emphasize that marriage works only for unselfished individuals.
You two beauties are a delight to watch, thanks so much for your inspiration xx
You are so lucky ladies. I had my menopause from the age of 37, I am 47 now....
Danggggg so young
Their marriage does not sound like a partnership but an agreement. Although not my business, they are spreading their wealth amongst too many folks! Gabrielle sounds stressed!
Me and my husband are the same Fumi!!! We have a joint account, bills come out, we have savings, nothing is separate. To us, this is normal . It is always us , we and not “I”. We laugh, cry and have struggled together. United we stand no matter what ❤
If this works for you that's great but I am a strong believer that no matter how much you love each other always have some money for yourself especially as a woman. I dnt mean you hide money from him but always have something for yourself men can easily turn against you.
I just love your commentary. You are fair, realistic, and honest. I subscribe approximately 2 years ago and been blessed by your channel. Thank you.
I’m so happy that you drove it home in stating that “stay at home moms“ is a full- time job. We have the hardest jobs.
“Hardest”, i don’t know.. but I agree that stay home mom is a hard job. I say so because a lot of full-time working mom have 2 jobs! Employee and full-time mom. It’s not like working women work and go home to sleep. For most of them, they go home and do the job you are doing. Respectfully
No you do not😂. It’s a hard task task raising kids for sure, but don’t get dramatic
Being a mom is hard enough- add stay at home all the time with kids and it’s too much! People don’t always think it through before they have kids.
I have a lot of respect for stay home Moms. It's overwhelming for me.
Let’s be real it’s not the hardest job.
We are blessed to be receiving front row advise from you 2 ladies!! Thank you🤍🤍🌸🌸
Right. I always love Christiana on the show🤗
Baby...you are given the girls...THE CHEAT CODE...love it Auntie ❤❤
I agree with you Fumi if a man should tell me "this is my house" I would walk too!
Love you and Christina together, very complimentary conversations! Excited for Ohema's episode too!
I remember how my daughters father kept on telling me get out of my house, so many times. And that time my daughter was a couple of months! She is 28 now and this really brought some tears in my eyes.
Growing up, my father would always say "my house" and "y'all are living off of me."
I told myself that was the last man I'd hear say that. I've never, ever had the desire to share my life with someone or have children. I just wanted peace. And looking back, I definitely made the right decision. Staying single with no kids is not for everyone, but I knew it was right for me.
@@mizzmolly7649🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 He had some internal issues. I hope he apologizes no matter how long its been.
My daughter's father too .. get out get out get out..I did ❤❤❤
My father also used to tell my Mother to get out of HIS house when they were married! ..🤦🏾♀️ not sure if it's an African male issue.
Men are eeeevil
Hi Fumi, I think there's a lot going on with Dwayne and Gabrielle that the street do not know 😅. She is making the public know what is going on so if push come to shove and God forbid they have to have a divorce no one cannot blame her. When see someone is not happy with something they talk. I wish them all the the best.
I guarantee you if he was with a ww he would not make her go 50/50. Gabby chose that hyper struggle black love.
NOPE. If he was with a ww, he will be paying 100% of the bills.
Gabby let her ego write a check her ass couldn’t cash. She said from now on we go 50/50. She did that. If he wanted a white woman he could have had one several times over
THIS!!! No one ever said she shouldn't have her own money or help out. I'm not liking the narrative of unless she's paying half, she's not contribting at all. Or that she doesn't work and wants to depend on him soley. We are strictly speaking on her pay HALF..Not her having her own money.
💯💯💯
@@madebymidnite This is what I said too, she doesn't need to pay half. Contribution comes in many forms too, apart from money.
Fumi, I respect you so much AND I hope you don't wear yourself out working so hard and getting so little sleep! I know those of us who are following you would want you to take care of your self even if it meant you posted less often. ❤
Ladies looking FABULOUS as always! The subject was riveting, and it gave me flashbacks of my single, professional, career driven years. Women need to support women because it’s hard out there.
This was such a powerful episode. Thank you, sisters ❤❤❤
💯 ❤this! So true… teamwork!
You two are gorgeous! Christina’s lipstick/earrings are fierce /🔥!!!
Ladies, you speak the truth! I have been married almost forty years, and communication is key! The pronouns are so important!
I definitely agree with you Aunty Fumi that you need to somehow make sure you are contributing to the household somehow to avoid something like this from happening to you. And like you said it begins with communication, to be able to know each other’s headspace preferrably before you jump the broom. And if you're already married, it's not too late, there is still hope to turn it around.
And nothing is written on stone, so open communication, mutual respect will always be vital throughout the relationship or marriage
Auntie Fumi, I am so fortunate to have come across your channel as I learned so much and have corrected my way of thinking because you showed me another way that benefits myself and my family. Thank you!!!
Christina looks fabulous! We share December as birthday month. I"ll be 55 in December
I love you Fumi.... You're absolutely correct and real
I feel like we know more about Gabrielle and Dwyane’s marriage than we should🫣🫣😬😬
Fumi, you did it again. Sound advice you are given us, free of cost. Love it. Thank you and God bless you.
Hi Christina! You both look so good!
That was a selfish statement on wades part definitely a red flag 🚩. It’s more to this that meets the eye trust and belief me .
Ms. Fumi you are so right! I will take your advice to heart. There is definitely a few things I must sort out using the cheat sheet. I don’t need to experience hardship to learn the lesson. Thank you
That's why she is the way she is. He didn't assure her he's the provider and she's the woman of the home. Thus she feels she needs to bring 50 to the table to feel some sort of belonging . Argh
As I commented on your video about Gabrielle Union and husband, she is doing 50/50 because she needs to feel secure. So my question is, are a healthy marriage need to push one partner to feel the need to be 50/50 to feel secure?
Fumi I was so amazed at your weight loss and now I’m blown away at how fabulous Christina looks. You two look fabulous!! Please share how you did this in your 50’s.
Thank you Auntie Fumi and Auntie Christina for another inspiring message ❤
Hi Fumi and Christina!! I enjoyed the collaboration and conversation! Thank you both for being transparent and for shedding light on real life in these streets. Women, we have to be realistic. It’s ok to have preferences, just know that men have them as well. Relationships are about GIVE and TAKE not just TAKE. Fumi, the way you pulled us in with “real” life should incite a reexamination of expectations. Life is not always shiny and golden. It may start out that way but what happens when it fades? Can the relationship stand the test of time? I don’t always comment on your videos but I LOVE your content, your personality, your character, your style. You are everything! I will forever be a supporter. Thank you for what you do. Thank you Eula(I apologize for misspelling his name)for sharing her with us!
I totally understand Gabriel Union. My husband said that to me “this is my house”, soon after I relocated from my country n living with him while I had no documentation and couldn’t work; though I was contributing with what little money that was being sent to me from my country…He also said whoever makes the money, or most of the money has the control, even as far as to say “I don’t want you here”. I have been in survival mode ever since 🤦🏽♀️. Not like I ever asked him for anything as I have always been independent
More Christina plse ❤ her!!!! ❤ you both ….. you look gorgeous both my inspiration….
Looking at two gorgeous ladies that I believe I’ll be looking like in 20 years time 💃❤️
Looking fabulous ladies.....i love and i live for you, all the way from Johannesburg......
This is real talk!! Always always have your own in case something goes awry.. or simply to avoid him or her saying “get out MY HOUSE”. Don’t do it ladies..
Hi Fumi, I loved , loved, loved this dialogue. I hope this message spreads way beyond Fumi nation. ❤👏🏽
Fumi is giving the short cut to a successful relationship/marriage but the tik tok “relationship experts” who are super single have the world living in delusion😂 great content as always.
Fumi is the delusional one here. She comes from the generation that brlieved in building a man to be successful. Yet the state of the black community is more than enough evidence that it DOES NOT WORK!
What Fumi fails to understand is that in her case her husband provided for her. He was able to keep his role as protector and provider. The opposite most of the tine is not the case. You either end up like Wendy Williams or Sherri shepherd or Mary J Blige. Their outcomes are far more common and we don't want that.
@@nightwishisthegreatestband6355 Ok
You ladies look beautiful. Fumi you are absolutely on point. God bless ❤And Wow Norway is a smart country, they paid for you to go to school to learn their language, they had it figured out that it would be a hecka of a lot cheaper then hiring millions of translators, brilliant.
They do the same in Sweden.
This video was gold!! loved every second of it and love your friend Christina
You're both beautiful inside and out. I agree and learned from both of you.
I absolutely agree and love the feedback and advice from both of you! I’m in a childless 18 year rocky marriage, which I no longer want to be apart of due to selfishness and inconsideration! I’ll be 42 next month and feel like my soulmate is out there and I’m ready to start over and find true love, loyalty, team player and possibly have a happy, strong and healthy family!🥰🤩🥳
You are both so so stunning 🤩 ❤
This is absolutely 💯!!!! Fumi , you’re so inspiring!
This was a very refreshing conversation. So much value ❤
I love this conversation from you too beautiful women. I wish I would’ve paid attention to this when I was a stay at home mom 35 yrs ago and I think over the years my husband did resent a little. ,but he was raised with the man taking care of the woman eventually when the youngest of our three children started preschool. I did start working.and that gave me a little bit more self worth, and respect in a marriage.. I will say staying at home with the best years of my life. I didn’t know it then, but I realize it now my husband passed away in 2020 and I used to wish I could have a do over
I love Aunty Fumi!!! "Ladies not all of you are going to marry a millionaire." Yes let's be REALISTIC!
First, both of you ladies are absolutely beautiful. This episode was wonderful in going deeper into your thoughts from that first video. You gave many wise helpful advice in this one. Please do more videos together❤
Hello Fumi and Christina I loved the discussion platform today. Marriage is a committed partnership.
Girls! y'all looking sooooo fly! I'm so inspired
I was about to take a critical stance but you both are speaking through experience. Marriage takes team work and a lot of communication. We all know how life can take an unexpected turn. We say “for better or for worse” but I believe we don’t truly understand what that means until we experience it.