What do you think of the mug? It's hand painted by a lovely friend, PlutoniumLollie from our community! Thank you for sending it to me (and for omitting the puzzle piece at the bottom of the cup!).
Self-diagnosis seems to be how most adults over fourty plus years are being identified as some form of neurodivergence. We were undiagnosed or maybe misdiagnosed as children. We masked and convince ourselves "This is normal, we all experience this." Self-diagnosis was my first step to real proper treatments.
My dad definitely has autism and it would explain a lot. One of his brothers has it diagnosed, the other one is quite obvious, but he was always more quiet and artistic so that got over shadowed by his incredible talent and fame. When i mentioned this to my mom (they divorced when i was 3) it was like a light bulb lit up and everything just fell into place for her as i described how similar I am to my dad, how similar my sister is to our dad, and how i would be EXACTLY like him, had i self medicated on weed like he did. I think there is a big part of the 40+ generation who just shoved it down and endured, like their parents did (my parents included) and for those people, self diagnosing could be a cautious step towards acceptance from within. My sister is 40 now, and she definitely struggled to admit something was wrong until her son completely broke and the relationship too. My mom just a few months ago admitted that there IS autism on their side too (i have 2 cousins with Autism) and that she might think her dad was autistic now that she has learned more about autism and how it shows. So i honestly think self diagnosis is super important, especially for people who have lived a whole life not knowing "what *it* was", what made them slightly different to their peers.
@@theJellyjoker it’s autistic, not neurodivergent, the latter of which is not a medical condition but is a social construction. Also, there’s nothing autistic people diverged from, since autism per se is our state of normalcy from the beginning.
@@jedimasterham2 things doesn't need to be a medical condition to be real. tbh, I feel the "neurodivergent" term much more clearer than "autism". There is a bunch of neuronalical differences that tend to come together, some of them are "autism" and some of them are not (examples include high sensitivity, high intelligence, hiperfocus, sensory processing disorder, disgraphia, being left handed) Which criteria is being used to determine which ones are autism?, pretty much it's not clear, it seems kind of random imho, or just cherry picking the ones that are less sociably acceptable(even when those things come together). Just calling all of them neurodivergences it's much clearer imho.
Self diagnosis is literally why I have an actual autism diagnosis. It's also why I have any kind of physical diagnosis. I had to do the work to make up for the incompetence seen in American healthcare.
Same. I don't know why people think doctors are omniscient gods when "second opinion" is a phrase because it was literally necessary. The healthcare industry is nowhere near perfect and 300 years from now people will look at our understanding of the human brain as rudimentary at best. PS: I got to Google omniscient v. omnipotent and expanded my lexicon which is always a win. Words speak to me... 😂
@caralynn. Also how we got obese. Nobody was obese before they invented the food pyramid. Dietary guidelines are actually fattening us up. Particularly with doctors using outdated "science" and prejudices
I’d rather accept a small number of people wrongly identifying themselves as autistic than not accept self identification. The small number of people who are just “doing it for attention” will get bored and move onto something else. The small number of people who are trying to understand themselves based on imperfect information will eventually learn more about themselves and other conditions. I welcome both these groups into the autism community to learn about autism and autistic people.
I thought, at first, I would be in the group that got bored and moved on. It’s been 3 years now of almost daily watching and reading about autism. At this point, I self diagnose as autistic at the age of 50.
People "identified" me as weird/ankward with social anxiety and selective mutism (due to bullying). I had labels my entire life, because something was "wrong". I self-identified as autistic and It's the reason I have an official diagnosis now. I was always autistic. The first step in my journey was self diagnosis
I feel the same way because who are we to judge who and who isn't autistic? Just because they aren't officially diagnosed doesn't mean that there's no possibility that they may be autistic. Most people who self diagnose probably have good reasons to do so. It's none of our business.
Heaven help females with autism or adhd. Getting a formal diagnosis as a 47yo woman is practically a pipe dream. The lack of research into women and girls - especially those of us with AuDHD - doesn't mean we should simply keep being misunderstood until the research finally catches up. If I match 90% of the criteria of the DSM-V, share the experiences of the formally diagnosed, and score well into the 'strong case for diagnosis' on multiple research tests such as AQ and CATQ, it's a pretty safe bet I'm autistic.
As another AuDHD mom, of 4 AuDHD kids...I support this message. I was dx'ed at 40 with ADHD, and 42 with ASD. and I only got tested because my daughter, who was 6 or 7, was diagnosed and she is exactly like me. LOL I only managed this due to there being 1 Neuropsychologist in my area with experience with adult ASD patients...This is in the Seattle Suburbs...with so many people here you'd think there'd be more....and I can confirm...I got the papers/reports and that's it. Nothing else. So yeah, no clue what 'supports' there are we're not getting that these Fake Autistics are? So weird.
I am actually self-diagnosed lactose intolerant despite that TikTokker saying no one is. I have serious stomach cramps whenever I have dairy unless its lactose free. Its got worse over time so now I can't even eat cheese or yoghurt unless lactose free or plant based. I have so many other health issues I haven't got around to discussing this one with my GP. There's an easy fix, change my diet or use lactase tablets when uncertain about ingredients. Makes sense to me to accommodate myself and ask others to do it even if there isn't an official piece of paper to say "lactose intolerant". I guess I will chase that official diagnosis when I have delt with my more pressing health concerns. After all, it will be way cheaper than my official Autism diagnosis!
My best friend is also self diagnosed autistic and lactose intolerant! I have seen him eat dairy anyways after realizing he didn't have any lactaid on him and have seen him try to be casual and hide how upset his stomach was afterwards. I never told him he had to get a doctor's confirmation, I just bought a small box of lactaid and carry it in my bag so that if he ever wants dairy and forgot to bring his own, I can hand some off to him.
On the contrary the vast majority of the world's population are lactose intolerant! In fact the widespread ability for humans to digest lactose into adulthood is a quite recent phenomenon. It's only common in people who are descended from populations which practiced agriculture including the domestication of animals for many generations, which resulted in lactose tolerant people having an evolutionary advantage. The vast majority of adults in most parts of Africa and Asia are lactose intolerant. That Tik Tok man has zero idea what he is talking about.
@@pardalote this is SUCH a good analogy! It's not like you can treat lactose intolerance the way you can (or have to rather) treat Crohn's. It makes perfect sense to accomodate for the pattern you see!
Autistics, from what I've seen, go on a research quest of hours upon hours upon hours, poring over countless research papers and taking the AQ test, listening to autistic content creators until we're experts ourselves before coming to the realisation that we're autistic. Not to mention once a child or other family member is identified and we see ourselves in them. There are so many barriers to adult diagnosis as it is. Why are they so keen to gatekeep everyone?
I think a lot of it is a case of, "I'm alright, Jack, pull the ladder up." by those completely oblivious to the fact that many autistics don't use ladders. Not the metaphorical kind, anyway. I think I'm part of the alternative species! I'm a siphophore type human. I can easily move vertically so long as I'm in my habitat of choice. Don't need a ladder! Many autistics, I think, might be siphonophores (profoundly sensitive, filter feeders, extremely environmentally dependent, very hard to cuddle, bristling with stinging cells if handled roughly, apparently slow moving but can turn up in a different hemisphere in a relatively short amount of time, don't much care for being kicked into the dunes, generally treat with hostility and fear, great at detecting tiny changes in our environment, epic survivors, endlessly mutable, bemused by ladders).
I am a late diagnosed autistic woman. It turns out that the vast majority of time when a person self diagnoses their autism they are almost always right. Going through the diagnostic process is usually a rubber stamp for what we already know about ourselves. I think that this person with ADHD should stick in his own lane and stop commenting on the autistic community and what WE find acceptable. Usually when someone self IDs as autistic it is because they've suffered a lifetime of bullying and had trouble slotting into life. Look at his comment about "being weird doesn't mean you're autistic", it tells me this guy thinks autistics are "weird". I just thought I'd point that out. No one should talk for the autistic community, not even one autistic person, but definitely a person with an ADHD diagnosis doesn't have a vote about how the majority of us feel when it comes to self diagnosis. After living most of my life as an undiagnosed autistic I want to find all of my undiagnosed brothers and sisters. I want them to understand themselves, get support from the community. Only someone who had lived their life without knowing would understand how much of a benefit self diagnosis is.
As someone diagnosed ADHD at 22 who couldn’t have therefore also been diagnosed autistic until 31 (DSM-V), and was in fact not diagnosed also autistic until quite recently at 42, I suspect this person may be AuDHD and resisting that fact. Over half of autistics also meet the criteria for ADHD, and ADHD is much easier to get diagnosed with, at least in America. 🤔
@@misspat7555 I am sorry you went through that. I wasn't anywhere near what would be considered Asperger's until the criteria changed in 2012. I am a high masking female. I was diagnosed with PSTD because many of my autistic traits slotted into that diagnosis. Most people I know would find that diagnosis incompatible with how I present. I have an A type perfectionist persona. I seem so "together". People that have both diagnosis often do not get diagnosed with either because they can mask each other. I get very irritated when people get down on self diagnosis. If we are to have any hope of being screened for autism we have to start somewhere, and that somewhere is usually self diagnosis. Whether or not we get diagnosed we suffer. I would rather have an idea of why my life has been so challenging so I can correct it. Also, there are medications that are not good for autistics. We can experience pain differently. I cannot tell you how hard it has been for me, going to the doctor to tell them I am "not well" but being unable to express why I am not feeling well. I am being helped by a local organization to get a general practioner that specializes in helping neurodivergent people. We have our own special health problems.
When I was diagnosed by my mom (a nurse) around 1967 she took me to a psychiatrist and he had me draw a simple picture of my house and family, open a doorknob after unlocking it and shake hands. The only reason she took me there is the school was trying to keep me out of regular classes. There were no services whatsoever for austic people or any other neurodiversity. Having missed all the help I could have used as a child I now am looking for services as an adult. I don't see much out there.
Ah yes my edgy and quirky fun personality traits such as getting overwhelmed by the smell of someone’s chapstick, feeling pained by eye contact, holding back tears when a room layout is changed, and being ostracized by my peers that I totally made up to make me seem edgy and quirky My friend group being exclusively people with autism/ADHDis just a coincidence I guess (This a joke, but self diagnosis finally gave me an explanation for me, that I specifically am not broken... I fought and fought against the idea of being autistic at first when my friends started getting diagnoses but it just explained so much. A lot act like the most common road to self diagnosis isn’t paved with years of research and constant doubt)
I genuinely used to think that the majority of my friends being autistic WAS a coincidence and a sign that I was a good person, but then the ones that weren't diagnosed started to tell me they suspected they were autistic and it really got me thinking. I mean, what's more likely? That I'm the token allistic that only gets along with autistic people or that we get along because we all have similar brain chemistry? I'm sure the fact that wearing certain textures of clothing literally made me cry and break things as a child due to overwhelm was definitely a completely normal allistic trait for a child to have. 🙄
A lot of my friends have sign of ADHD, some officially so, and some autistic ones too. Maybe that's not a coincidence. I've been fighting the idea that I might have autism, even resisting the idea of researching it because I might "contaminate the sample" when actual assessment happens, now I realize that's incredibly autistic to think like that. Maybe, I'm not an alien or broken, I'm just autistic. That might also explain why I can read autistic and neurotypical people's emotions so well but struggle to know how to react to the later. Or it might be confirmation bias induced by the algorithm. Can the algorithm diagnose that shit before doctors do?
My self diagnosis involves asking my husband and daughter if they think I am actually autistic every single day. Since I have self diagnosed, I have made changes in my life that is saving my mental and physical self. I have boundaries I never had and that is making my life and everyone around me's life easier. I can say "I need to go home now" instead of forcing myself to go into one more store and pushing to the point where I feel like I am in a storm or a blender resulting in a meltdown or shutdown and ibs episode. I do the errands I can do, go home and actually make dinner (after a quiet retreat in a dark room) rather than yell at everyone, cry and then curl up in a ball for hours and then feel very embarrassed and like a failure. Maybe I did not get as much done as other people can, I have to accept that. My husband learning all about it has saved our marriage. It is why I work from home now. My whole life has changed for the better after my "self diagnosis".
The learning to set appropriate boundaries is a huge one. I still struggle with this at work, even though i've been working on this for over 7 years. It started with either I set different boundaries and don't push myself so hard, or I remove myself from the planet. Over time i've gotten better about it, but didn't understand why I had to have different boundaries than other people. I knew I was more sensitive to stress, I knew I needed to understand they why behind things, and i knew my thought processes where more logic based than most, but i didn't know why, which made it much harder to have conversations with others about my need for clear communication, and needing to have boundaries where others don't. Some years into this process, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and while it explained alot, there were still gaps, CRITICAL gaps. Even with the AHDH diagnosis, I was getting to a point I was seriously questioning my sanity when I cam across videos by autists about what its like living with autism and the final piece slipped into place. These videos, where describing EXACTLY what i wished I could put into words and have understood. Some videos, even almost exactly word for word for the entire video! And I sat with it for a couple years, assessing and reassessing, feeling like an imposter when thinking about it or saying it, before I felt comfortable self identifying. Its now easier for me to talk about having different needs than most people, and I now have resources I can direct people to that want to understand, yet can't just off my explanation. youtube channels like this, and autistamatic often have videos I can share with people that help bridge the communication gap.
This is exactly how I feel!! I don't know if I'm "actually" autistic or not (and believe me, that makes my imposter syndrome run rampant) but what I do know is that ever since interacting with the community more and trying out coping mechanisms used by other autistic people, *it all clicked.* So much more of my life is wayyy easier because I have become way more in tune and forgiving of my own limits. At the end of the day, I think that's all that matters
As someone officially diagnosed with autism as a kid, people who act like my mom and siblings can't claim to be autistic without a formal diagnosis are mind-boggling. Before my mom went to get me assessed, they researched autism and even read books about it and concluded that both they and my dad are autistic. They never got their autism officially verified because they didn't see a point.
I asked my general practitioner if I could get an assessment for autism. She wondered why I needed It, so I told her about my struggles. My hypersensitivity, my social anxiety, then I started to cry and couldn't finish. She sympathized with me, said that I was fearless, congratulated me for having a family and a university degree, and in the same breath advised me to forget about being assessed by the SUS ( I live in Brazil, it's the equivalent of the NHS). I continue to be self identified until I find a way to be assessed.
@@carlamarinacosta4855 I'm sorry you experienced this, it's absolutely infuriating and demoralizing to pour your soul out only to be downplayed. You do you, and what makes you happy and helps you is all hella valid. I've learned more online than I did after my assessment and diagnosis anyway. Nothing they told me that I didn't know from experience or autistic creators 🙃 nor did it help with all the undiagnosed trauma that was unlocked, I'm rawdogging that sht. You'll find your way now that you're aware. It won't be easier, but it will feel better (also, be very kind to yourself, it's a learned skill that we could all use in this world)
But, is there a part of you that is holding off from fully accepting yourself until you have a formal assessment and diagnosis? That's what I worry about. Like you're waiting for permission to be yourself even if you don't acknowledge this is what's going on. A lot of people are secretly suffering on a precipice. A small hidden part of themselves never fully accepting of themselves because they believe that an official diagnosis is some sort of gold standard. And what does it entail to have an official diagnosis? Can we then say, "There. I am now officially diagnosed. Now eff off and leave me alone."? Probably not. It probably means the poking and prodding will only increase. We'll have even more explaining to do. We'll have to present our autistic license, at every juncture, and then have to explain why it's not just a piece of paper. People will think there is something they can fix to make us better fit in with how they think things should be.
@GoldilocksZone-665 When you grow up in a family unit that treats your differences as wrong and your needs like you're just an attention seeker making a big deal out of nothing all the time, a lifetime of invalidation would in fact make it hard for someone to accept themselves because "Themselves is wrong". An official diagnosis in that circumstance would be the starting point of self-acceptance, because now there is proof validated by a professional that saw what you may have always seen but were taught to unsee.
@@GoldilocksZone-665Yep. The next thought after diagnosis is “How can we fix you?”. So they try to force “normal” behavior (masking), but of course nothing can change how we feel, or a lot of how we think, so that’s no improvement. The world is made to cause “median Jessica” (the median American; “Jessica” is 38, has a husband, kid, and dog, and drives her pickup truck a half-hour each way to her job as a school secretary) to struggle, nevermind anyone who can less common issues! 🤦♀️
That is really hard in Brazil... I grew up in Sao Paulo which is autistic hell (hot, noisy, crowded, full of smells, everyone and everything is always late, plans change constantly, and people have no concept of personal space)... I was diagnosed in the UK... I was privileged to be able to live in a place where I could take control of my life and not feel constantly overwhelmed. Most of my direct family in Brazil is autistic though, and none of them are diagnosed.
So much YES! Doctors are famously 100% reliable sources of objective truth and immune to all human biases and other error. (There is a reason why medical diagnoses are called opinions).
A doctor might even formally misdiagnosis autism, say in a kid with ADHD and learning disabilities who also developed cPTSD from bad experiences at home and in school as a result. No human being is perfect! The best we can do is give eachother, and ourselves, some (not infinite) grace! 😮💨
Well, if someone told me they were a self diagnosed lactose intolerant, I'd definitely not tell the person "you're limiting yourself" and make them drink milk.
I’m 52 and experienced the stupid frog book this year. I wouldn’t have had an issue telling the story to my kids when they were young, but doing it in the context of an assessment is just stupid.
🐸✈🐸✈🐸✈ Yay, I'm sorry, Nit! I know what you mean, I wouldn't mind making up a bedtime story, but being handed the book in an assessment is bizarre. Especially as that module hasn't been validated for use on adults. Ahhh, psychology... we'll make you a proper science in the future.... I put some of my own matchbox cars in my pocket, and asked if they'd like me to tell a story about flying frogs or play with these cars in front of them. It got a genuine laugh!
Yeah, I was surprised by the frog book, and also the “tell a story with at least 5 (or was it 7?) of these objects”. I did my best! Apparently, I was pretty obviously autistic, because I didn’t have to do the “extra” bits and was told they were “very comfortable” giving me a diagnosis! 🤣
I too got the frog treatment, several times in that assessment i asked are you serious? The second time i got the MIGDAS and that was MUCH better if yer looking for formal diagnosis ask and see if you can have that test done as the ADOS is a waste of time and money.
This is so true. My daughter was diagnosed aged 10. Now my little one is 4 and clearly autistic too. And I was diagnosed at 37 after a lifetime of being berated for not being like other people. I had spent time in psychiatric hospital before and was wrongly diagnosed with other conditions and given wrong medication.
I am self-diag. I can drop 2k and get an official diagnosis, but it won't actually change much. The people that it matters for are supportive, like my wife, boss, and friends. I could write a book of my 47 years of experience and how it fits the DSM, but I don't see this as a cool label to wear but rather an explanation that clarifies who I am and how I function. I would have laughed at you if you had labeled me with ASD a couple years ago, I retired from law enforcement and am still in the military, so I am not the typical person that most would believe was trying to be cool with this awesome ASD label. That being said, since I self-diagnosed, now I enjoy women chasing me, and a kid asked for my autograph, but I don't do it for the fame.
Ah yes, women favor autistics, it’s true! And cute kids, always wanting our autographs! It’s so sweet! (Absolutely ALL the sarcasm; glad to hear the people who matter are supporting you! ❤)
Ok. So I didn't understand the initial sarcasm at all lol. As an autistic woman who DOES seem to love autistic men, I thought this guy was bragging, but I didn't get how the women wouldn't have been equally attracted to him pre diagnosis and...yep
I asked my family doctor for an ASD assessment. Her response was: "That's a psychology thing, and there are no public services for autistic audults assessments. What would an autism diagnosis do for you anyway?" I felt shattered.
"oh, I don't know... maybe validate a life time of struggling with it and making it easier to get accommodations outside of home environment?" So galling when the people we reach out to dismiss us. Especially if we haven't been nurtured in the way we needed to be.
@M2Mil7er 100% right. I've caught myself saying "I'm fine!" despite being in so much pain I was white-knuckling the chair I was in because being "needy" was bad.
4:09 Who are these people who think that people are doing this (calling themselves autistic) because they think that it is edgy?! Nobody I know, thinks that autism is edgy!
@@Autistic_AF We are all edgy on this blessed day. Diagnosed at 46. Autism, ADHD. Felt weird and not part of humanity all my life before diagnoses. Still do. 😊
I was broken. I was written off under "mental health" when I broke, and for the next 25 years. I am now diagnosed autistic. Now, my whole life makes sense! If you identify with channels like this, if it brings you clarity, then you don't need a diagnosis as far as I am concerned. You will know.
I'm like a lot of people in this comments section: the only reason I have an "Official Diagnosis" is because the self diagnosis came first. The medical/mental health system missed me entirely in childhood and I've had to struggle a lot up until now. It's rude and insulting to imply people do this for fun or to hop on a trend.
Also these people tend to have a lot in common with "autism moms" when they imply autism is a kind of lifelong disease that is somehow hurting the people that have it and making their caregivers' lives so difficult.
Self-identification is the first step to an official diagnosis. I can't think of a different way how it could go instead. At least I haven't been suddenly hit by a diagnosis out of nowhere in my 40+ years. And I'm pretty sure, that I have already been autistic before my self-identification. And no, I don't 'need' a label. But without one, I won't get any accommodations, that probably make life a bit easier. The autistic life can be a challenge already. Having to fight off the misconceptions around it, is draining and is something that we don't need, on top of everything else.
The different way it can and often does go is that the person is dealing with certain struggles they don't understand, don't know the source of, and/or don't know what to do about. They seek help and the help they seek identifies patterns to their struggles leading to assessment/diagnosis.
@@ASalad Would be nice, it would work that way. Reality is, there's still a lack of knowledge, even among medical professionals. People are still being misdiagnosed or overseen. Especially high masking individuals. And even if you are self-identifying as being on the spectrum, situations in which you get told, that you can't be autistic, because you can make eye contact. Self-identification can be a good thing.
@@plutoniumlollie9574 It does work that way for some, just not for all. It would be nice if it worked that way much more often. Medical professionals that aren't in Psychiatry generally aren't trained in recognizing things like Autism. That's usually Psychology and Psychiatry that study, identify, and treat where needed. It would be nice if they too were more familiar with it sure, but it typically isn't their area. Even amongst those working in Psychiatry and Psychology, many of them are using outdated information. Autism research is expanding and discovering a great deal about its various features and presentations quite rapidly in relative terms, especially when compared to most other studied mental health experiences. And the internet has allowed highly invested communities, like those of the online autism community, to absorb some of that information faster than many professionals, especially those who either aren't working with autism frequently or are but are locked into incomplete understandings. I could write whole essays on the challenges with advancing the knowledge of Autism research, identification, assessment, and treatment throughout the field of Psychology (my professional field.) There are many challenges on the side of access and competency. But while there are many challenges, there are many highly informed, highly competent professionals that are regularly identifying and working with autism using up-to-date information and with awareness of community concerns. And yes, high-masking and presentations that aren't the "classic" ones are included in that. I think self-diagnosis can be good and it can also sometimes be bad and it can also sometimes be a mix. There are risk factors, there are concerns, but there are numerous potential benefits and advantages as well.
15:00 you nailed what I was going to comment: the word "diagnosis" is problematic, because self diagnosis a disease usually is a bad idea, so I can imagine why people may use that preconception to discourage "self diagnosis" for autism
It can come from a good but misguided place. There's a very funny (to me) video on TH-cam of a famous content creator who was told by a fan that her brother had autism. His immediate response was, "I'm so sorry". 😣 😂
I agree somewhat but I've also got chronic illnesses and I have self diagnosed myself a number of times but I've always then gone on to discuss it with my GP (family doctor in the US) and follow it up. I have successfully diagnosed myself a number of times in this fashion. My suggestion is that self diagnosis isn't a bad thing in either context as long as steps are taken to confirm it. Since this is unachievable for some people in the typical context I would posit that as long as someone has followed a logical process, i.e. has determined whether or not they meet the diagnostic criteria, we shouldn't invalidate them. Unless we can guarantee that every person in the world has access to autism assessments by professionals experienced in different presentations of autism, we can't justify excluding people who have to find answers on their own.
I was identified as autistic at age 12 which I always thought was late because it was so obvious until as an adult I found out that's super early for a girl. But with ADHD I first self-identified for 2,5-3 years before being officially "diagnosed" aka identified. I really prefer this term too!
Thank you for this, I've felt like something was different about me for most of my life. It wasn't just me either, teachers suspected it, my parents suspect it, most of my friends throughout school were neurodivergent as well. I don't know why no one did anything back then, but now I don't see the point of an official diagnosis anymore. I relate a lot to autism content, and I'm really happy that the majority has been welcoming.
When it takes 3+ years to get an assessment or thousands of pounds ... self diagnosis is all many have. That and the widespread incompetence of the MH community and I consider self diagnosis just as valid.
How does ANYONE know what's going on inside someone's head sponge!? Honestly, by that metric, everyone really would be autistic because no one can really know something like that.
Thank you for making me feel like a bit less of a weird duck. Sometimes when I feel all "imposter syndrome" about my ASD self-diagnosis (although 'self-discovery' just popped up as an autocorrect and I might like that term better lol) I find myself coming to your channel, or autism from the inside, or mom on the spectrum, etc-- and EVERY time I feel like "goddamnit these are my people, these are absolutely my people".. Oh.. Why do I almost want to cry but in a good way? (this is weird, I'm leaving, sorry)
Thank you for doing this video and standing up to such idiocy for us! I will play the full video, but can’t even watch the clips because these types hurt me so much. It IS like being back in school! Almost 68 years old in US, community of about 175,000 … there are no one within many hours who can diagnose, nor a way to pay… having a scientific mental approach, I’ve known since 1968! Ah, thanks again!
I know I am autistic but I am poor & live in the u,s I will most likely never get a diagnosis by a doctor tho that doesn't magically take away my autism, tiktokers some to forget some people just don't have the money
I think if they'd fix the diagnostic criteria, access to proper evaluation resources and actual accommodations, then you probably wouldn't have as many people publicly announcing their self-diagnosis. It can get particularly tricky for those of us that are on the edges of the diagnosable range just because that does not guarantee that we don't have massive problem to deal with and aren't massively traumatized by the lack of support in navigating society.
Thanks for this one. My daughter is a selfdiagnosed Autistic jong woman. I’m a selfdiagnosed ADHD. Struggling with the neurotypical world feels shit for both of us. We try to find our way in, it but work and trying to have a social life is a big struggle. I leaned a lot from her. And thanks to your AAF channel I learn more every week.
Speaking over: On Reddit, the autism subreddit has a lot of self-described self-diagnosed autistic folks. When someone self discloses some experience and asks if others have had that experience, there are often more self-diagnosed folks in the replies, and that skews the answers in the direction of lower-support-needs. Folks with higher support needs sometimes express that they no longer feel at home in the community as a result. I personally think that people who self-diagnose have reasons (ie, symptoms) for doing so. I also think it is beneficial to find a community of people who accept each other. I say this to say that I am pro self-diagnosis, I just wanted to offer an example of what might be considered "talking over."
Thank you, Sara. That's enlightening. In many ways, use of the internet, having a reddit account, etc, skews the answers in that direction also; maybe it's made more complex by the challenge of a varied spectrum condition and the internet which is at its worst when people are talking at, instead of with, each other.
It’s fair to say that the people with the most trouble communicating will be less common (due to being at an extreme) and also get fewer responses and especially fewer responsive responses. That would indeed have to be frustrating, for a group already frustrated just by trying to exist on the daily. 🫤
I havent had a actual diagnosis yet but looking and researching things plus just analyzing my own behaviors, life, i am neurodivergent but not sure exactly what. 33yrs old and no one believes me lol
Thank you thank you thank you - your content has been educational and extremely comforting for me. You have shifted my debilitating self judgement about my "weirdly sensitive" state of being - BPD was the first misdiagnosis i received as a 33 year old woman - I am now 54... there is definitely significant trauma in my background that I had assumed explained my "issues". Long story short, your videos have given me permission to be self-accommodating, to give my self room to be who and HOW I am, and at this point it is unimportant to me what my diagnosis actually is... You and your channel are a gift to all of us. Thank you.
To me these people are just demonstrating a common lack of awareness of how our brains operate. As humans we are uniquely able to process higher thoughts but we seem increasingly to confine ourselves to this visceral, primitive, amygdala-driven reaction which is born of fear. Once we're aware of this tendency to initial knee-jerk, we can learn to counteract it. If they actually stopped to think, as we do, they may feel differently. For myself, I will finally have an explanation as to why I struggle so hard despite my best efforts. These people feel threatened and I can understand that. However, I think They're allowing that old, primitive part of their brain to gain ascendency, as so many seem to be doing these days. Another great video.
Hello Kylee, if I could change just one thing about humanity it would be to offer this as a solution; learning to counteract the initial 'lizard-brain' knee-jerk responses. Thank you, I hope you're good, Kylee. 🧡
@@Autistic_AFI call it our “squirrel brain”, the part that a squirrel shares with us. We cannot “overcome” or “overrule” it, only learn to work with it. It has kept us alive for hundreds of millions of years, and it’s pretty hard-wired, so it isn’t going anywhere. We can, however, learn to recognize when it is triggered into a fearful, aggressive response, and give it some time and space while our drastically more recent, slower, and more adaptive cerebral cortex expansions work on catching up with what the heck is going on. This is why people benefit so much from GOOD psychotherapy; it provides a safe space to mull over the reactions of our squirrel brains and try to sort out more adaptive responses to them. ❤ Edit: typo
Great video as always Mike :) made me laugh a few times too hehe I’d much rather someone self identify and possibly be wrong than not and struggle because of it. Being diagnosed saved my life, or rather being asked to be assessed which led to the self discovery did
I had a woman email me twice to tell me to reach out to someone who works for Autism Speaks here in the USA and I told her as a low income autistic woman without an intellectual disability who has been diagnosed with four other disabilities in an email back to here, that I feel Autism Speaks only spends 1% of their income on life long supports for autistic people across the lifespan and I also told her if they were to find the supports or I already know the supports I need, that they would not be able to pay for every therapy and supports that I need in order to live on my own at least. She kept telling me that has not been my experience.
Wow. I'm glad I'm old enough to give less of an EFF about these critics. I would love a diagnosis. I would love supports. But I can't afford diagnosis, and wouldn't receive much in the way of supports. But I'll be damned if knowing what I am dealing with hasn't been extremely helpful with my mental health journey. CPTSD is just one of the results of my living undiagnosed for 57 years.
If anything institutions are failing us. We are not getting accomodations and often They take our difference as an excuse to strip us of basic human rights
Schrödinger's autist is a good analogy. Given your chance of getting an assessment in the foreseeable future, will the Autist still be alive when you eventually get around to looking in the box? In the meantime, if the box meows, the contents is alive and most probably a cat!
When I hear people like those two in 0:05, all I hear is the teacher from Peanuts. My sensory sensitivities go to overdrive with people like this. The ignorance is embarrassing and rampant
The learning to set appropriate boundaries is a huge one. I still struggle with this at work, even though i've been working on this for over 7 years. It started with either I set different boundaries and don't push myself so hard, or I remove myself from the planet. Over time i've gotten better about it, but didn't understand why I had to have different boundaries than other people. I knew I was more sensitive to stress, I knew I needed to understand they why behind things, and i knew my thought processes where more logic based than most, but i didn't know why, which made it much harder to have conversations with others about my need for clear communication, and needing to have boundaries where others don't. Some years into this process, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and while it explained alot, there were still gaps, CRITICAL gaps. Even with the AHDH diagnosis, I was getting to a point I was seriously questioning my sanity when I cam across videos by autists about what its like living with autism and the final piece slipped into place. These videos, where describing EXACTLY what i wished I could put into words and have understood. Some videos, even almost exactly word for word for the entire video! And I sat with it for a couple years, assessing and reassessing, feeling like an imposter when thinking about it or saying it, before I felt comfortable self identifying. Its now easier for me to talk about having different needs than most people, and I now have resources I can direct people to that want to understand, yet can't just off my explanation. youtube channels like this, and autistamatic often have videos I can share with people that help bridge the communication gap.
I was completely convinced I was “maybe a bit Aspie, or autistic, or whatever”, until I took the RAADS-R and scored above average FOR AUTISTICS. I sat for a bit, and then was like, “What are these domains of autism I keep reading about on Twitter, again?”. 😳
I remember going to my NP because I was struggling with what I now know was burnout, but I guessed it was “just Depression” again, since I was diagnosed by my GP in Highschool. I had on an autism related hat and remember the amount of snark she had in her voice as she asked me “What makes you think you’re autistic?” I was not prepared or in the right state of mind to answer that question, and she essentially just threw another SSRI at me, which I said I didn’t want to take any since I had been on the same one for 6 years prior, and she referenced me to a psychiatric online thing. The online Psychiatrist/Psychologist, i don’t even remember what she was, told me after two VIDEO appointments that I’m “atypical” in my presentation and couldn’t help me… THAT COSTED $500, BECAUSE IT WASN’T EVEN COVERED BY INSURANCE!! You bet I’m never gonna be able to get officially diagnosed, I don’t have the money or time for the healthcare nonsense of America! Side note: Of course I’m atypical, I’m an undiagnosed 24 year old woman! I thought we were on the same page here?!?! ☠️
I’m sorry, Mike - I’ve watched all of your videos religiously, but these people offend me so much that I know I won’t make it through. Kudos to you for sitting through all this crap for us!
I have a diagnosis and I understand that self diagnosis is the only option open to some people. Some of these people getting outraged should maybe channel those feelings towards why getting a diagnosis is just not possible for everyone.
I cannot make out what the first tiktoker is saying about being lactose intolerant or having Crohn’s. They think food intolerance can only be diagnosed by their medical provider, as in they test for it every time and will not believe the patient’s self-report? Having a food intolerance or allergy isn’t diagnosed like that, at least not for me. The gold standard for testing for food intolerance and allergies is actually elimination and an optional food challenge (reintroduction), optional because reintroducing alone can be risky. I told my medical providers what my food allergies/intolerances were, and they noted it. When I reacted to antibiotics, I reported that I had become allergic to them, and they took my word for it. For autism, no primary care provider/ general practitioner diagnoses autism, unless they sought further education and changed their area of specialization. Even psychiatrists typically are only in the business of medication management, meaning that they don’t have time to be doing multiple hour autism assessments, nor do they actually have the training. Psychologists need additional education to do autism assessments as well.
Yep; not even all or most psychologists can diagnose autism. Meanwhile, any PCP can diagnose ADHD and prescribe stimulants… I suspect this leads to a lot of AuDHD-ers only diagnosed ADHD-ers, like I was for 20 years… 😑
@ funny how you said that any PCP can diagnose and treat ADHD. It is true, yes, but it depends on the health system. Kaiser, for example, tries to channel any mental health support to the psychiatry department, which is totally overloaded. I currently am attempting to transfer my psychiatrist to a neurodivergent affirming one, but they denied it, but they also deny that my PCP take over it, even a psychiatric pharmacist. I’m allowed to request again in a year 🤦🏻♀️ You know the craziest part?! I’m a PCP with additional training in psychiatry. I could literally tell my PCP what to do.
I’m a woman, at first I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Autism was never even a possible option to my doctors. My friend who had autistic friend suggested that I could be autistic too for years, but I wasnt sure and couldn’t even suggest it to myself. Part of it was the fear of being a “self diagnosed faker”. Until my niece moved to a different country and got diagnosed almost immediately. My whole family then told me to do the same. I met a doctor that specializes in it who affirmed my diagnosis. Yet I don’t have any “official” medical record of it. It’s not in my medical history. Because it’s not something that would benefit me where I live. And even now the people that do this “faker hunting” make me feel guilty and unsure.
tbh, how can you NOT be self-diagnosed before you might end up being professionally diagnosed? it takes away our autonomy - we're supposed to just wait around until a professional assesses us and puts that label on us, if it is even recognised in us at all due to wrong perceptions and stereotypes? how are we supposed to understand ourselves if we can't even explore these possibilities and maybe even come out of it realising it actually doesn't fit? who is it hurting? self-diagnosed people aren't the problem here, and i'm sick of people pointing at people just understanding themselves as hurting the community as opposed to actual institutions doing that instead. i'll be 30 in less than 3 months now, and i still have to keep waiting longer after figuring myself out after years of this. me self-diagnosing is not destroying the community, just like someone exploring their gender and/or sexuality is not destroying the queer community. as a trans man myself, i was already not able to get noticed with it as i was growing up, and there is the unfortunate transphobic narrative that plagues transmasc people of not being able to understand their own gender and transition. also, isn't it true that being professionally diagnosed, specifically here with autism (or ADHD too, for that matter, i'm definitely sure i have AuADHD, especially since debating i had ADHD came first years ago now), it isn't always a welcome thing when it comes to stuff like legal and medical interventions? because having it known medically and so even maybe publically, it's not exactly a safe thing to do?
Some people prefer not to pursue formal diagnoses for exactly this reason. I weighed this carefully before going ahead, and understand why someone might choose differently. 🤔
These people that are sitting up here saying this or acting like they’re part of some exclusive club that someone wants to join lol complete insanity! Self Diagnosis IS VALID!!
As one who has found formal diagnosis financially out of reach at this juncture ( somewhat due to employment issues related to my neurodivergence), I very much appreciate this. I know what I know after connecting so many dots through years of research ( one of my avid interests) and seeing myself in my formally diagnosed autistic children. Thank you so much.
Any other knitter distracted by the pattern around the neckline of Mike's sweater/ jumper? Just trying to suss out the construction as it's atypical. :D Think I figured it out. It's cut from a flat piece of knitted fabric as a raglan construction. Hence the interruption of the white design at the neckline and the squareness of the pattern. It looks like they've used a sewn raglan seam. This comment brought to you by my ADHD (distraction) and self-identified autism (knitting and garnent construction as special interest) ❤
Lol not a knitter but definitely a geometric pattern noticer--it was kind of distracting at first around the neckline, then after a few minutes I didn't get bothered anymore.
It may be that we are now living in a world that exacerbates and accentuates autistic traits and struggles. That's what I think may be going on. My dad, in a way, was lucky. Being male, in the forties and fifties, his abilities took him in a direction perfectly suited to his type. People he mixed with, that weren't his colleagues or former colleagues, would affectionately call him 'professor' or 'boffin'. They'd be, mostly, kind about his strange interpersonal ways. We used to treasure our teachers and thinkers. He was nurtured. This is not the world we are now living in.
I self diagnosed in November of 2021 due in part to how I left a job I held for 12 years in the personal computer industry. The owner of the place is very Machiavellian and had caused what I now know to be autistic meltdowns on my part no less than 10 times over that timespan. It's funny how that happened; I was watching youtube videos and came across a couple of different videos that made me start questioning stuff. As one does, I found myself in a rabbit hole and wanted to see how deep it got. For the first time in my life, everything about myself began to make sense to me. My lifelong quest to answer questions about myself ended on that day. In my case, I'm in my mid fifties now (born in 1968), went through school always being ostracized and teased and bullied and never understanding why. I remember undergoing some sort of psychological evaluation for something when I was 9 years old in the 4th grade (March 1978), but never being given an explanation as to why I was singled out for this. So, fast forward to Jan of 2022 when I posted my self diagnosis on my Fakebook page, a couple of days later I was informed of my formal diagnosis as a child in 1978. Oh, so that's what that was. That's why I was asked weird questions like 'when you are on the playground, do you hang out by yourself or mingle with the other kids' ... it all made sense like someone flipping a switch to a light.
Over a decade ago now, I read Samantha Craft's females with autism checklist and related, big time. I started to read more (yes, it became a special interest!). I was sure I was on the spectrum, but, you know, imposter syndrome blah blah blah. It has taken me all this time to finally accept it in myself, mainly thanks people like your good self, after watching TH-cam videos and reading all the more. I told my doctor, the first person I had ever told, and asked, "So, where do I go for a diagnosis?" You know, thinking that it's like a specialist referral when you and your doc suspect something's going on with your heart or your joints or whatever. I was absolutely shocked when he turned on me, saying that there's no way I'm autistic because I'm too social and that I'm only doing it to get a disability pension and help from the government. I still haven't got over that response. It was terrible. So here I am, aged 53, with self-diagnosed autism. That's all I can do.
I am self diagnosed. I have done a number of tests and the results are consistant with comments others have said. I won't get an official diagnosis due to the time and cost. I don't think at my age it would be much help anyway. Also, you need to be sure of the competence of the psychologist when getting a diagnosis as a wrong diagnosis can be very unhelpful.
My husband had cancer before the doctor diagnosed it. I have autism, even if I don't have a diagnosis. Dude, you know how much freaking research I did before I even thought that thought to myself? So much. I suspect most of us who were not identified as kids (I'm in the over 50 crowd!) have done our research before accepting it as part of who we are. Sharing it, even though I don't have a 'official' diagnosis with my dentist resulted in a MUCH better experience with only needing that one day to recover. Dental visits would send me to bed for two to five days, depending on what happened previously. Forget the people who think you are taking something away from them, especially as an adult. I can attest, the few benefits my daughter gets are fought over frequently, she has to keep proving she is still autistic every couple years.
I'm not autistic but ADHD. ADHD has a similar self diagnosis wave going on. I feel the same way about self-diagnosis. It's a great first step to getting real help with the things you struggle with. Many times, healthcare brushes off the concerns of people they deem unworthy for whatever reason. Women, mental illness, disablities, all of these have seen the shove it under the rug, and it doesn't exist method of healthcare. Besides, just like with my students, many of the things that help those with disablities, also help everyone else. There is no harm in implementing things that help you in your day to day life.
Come for the hot takes and impeccable delivery (yes I know your editing skills are to be in part commended for this haha) but rarely comment. As a recently (in the last couple of years) self-identified late-discovered autistic, I appreciate the content of your videos, hearing your experiences, and knowing that it’s quite similar to mine incites a certain pushback against my imposter syndrome. It’s still a difficult on-the-fence point for me whether I will pursue assessment, because I can’t see a huge amount of benefit coming out of it - not much is likely to change with formalising this stuff any more than I already have. As you said, the pot of gold just doesn’t exist, and supports are geared to children and those with higher, more outwardly obvious support needs, which doesn’t describe me or my experiences. But knowing it’s not all about formal diagnosis, and trying to implement appropriate accommodations where I can has begun to work wonders for my mental heath, general wellbeing and overall QoL. Your channel helps with this. So thank you for the way you approach topics, research perspectives, support opinions and deliver content. You’re positively affecting people and it’s important. Keep it up.
Thank you, Mike ... and to this community for showing such generosity of spirit and sharing knowledge. Self-identified, me. Hardwon understanding. I feel a measure of peace and a sense of belonging that I had given up on. 59 years on the fringes of family and society. ❤️🩹
How do these people even think people get diagnosed, you have no reason to feel like you need one before noticing something's up, it starts with the self diagnosid
My self-diagnosis journey began a year and a half ago and I believe it has saved my life. Its been a long and involved process but the understanding I've gotten from it has opened up a whole new way of life. I'm not a wonky horse, after all. I'm a zebra and exactly as I was designed. That’s not to say its easy and ‘all better’. But I can now filter it alt through the right lens and, therefore, respond accordingly.
I was diagnosed all the way back in 1997, at a time when Autism wasn't very well know. Aside from how news outlets used to frame it. In the subsequent years, especially when the AV movement was using autism to push their agenda: They started framing autism as the worst thing to happen to humanity and completely unwanted by humanity. When I discovered that people were self diagnosing as autistic. I didn't find that offensive. Quite the opposite. I found it validating. Because Self-DX completely bucks the narrative that autism is unwanted. And shows that autism should be accepted and embraced. I actually find it more incredibly offensive when people who are not autistic are saying I should be offended at the idea that more people are willing to openly declare themselves as autistic showing that I'm not as alone as I was originally made to feel all the way back then.
I've been waiting for 2 years for my sons assessment on a wait list, which was supposed to be up in November of this year, and I just called to see how much longer we have to wait, it's going to be another 6 months at least. The US healthcare system is completely dysfunctional and way too expensive. You can't even get an assessment FOR a diagnosis. And do I want to trust a system in such dysfunction anyway? I don't think I do.
I was rather surprised when I had to wait… to be sent an at-home questionnaire that as someone who is really good at taking tests took me THREE DAYS to carefully work through, sort out, and send back, to then be put on the waiting list to see a psychologist! Like, why was there a wait for the at-home questionnaire?!? 🤦♀️
I'm going to get diagnosed next week so just know you have been a huge part of this journey. My family has invalidated me for my problems, and I had shut downs my whole life and this year i finally understand what those were, everyone has been getting mad at me for shutting down because it would in conversations. I have been labeled Rude, Disrespectful and dramatic from my whole family. Also when you talked about how the psychiatrist told you you were not autistic because you had a family or something like that mine has done the same thing, he said I'm not autistic because I gave good eye contact but that's only because i wasn't uncomfortable. He labeled me as Adhd but I think it's more than that and Autistic TH-camrs like you gave me proof that there is a huge chance. No one in my family understood me but I felt seen when I watch your videos. Isn't this proof enough? I have been studying about adhd and autism this whole year. I took all the autism tests that were positive so there is a better chance the doctor doesn't misdiagnosed me because this is very clear to me and I need people to see and understand this so I can be myself when I go to college in spring.
My opinion is that the cost and time of getting an evaluation in some parts of the world is the real issue. I also think there's a big difference between middle-aged people who have made a lot of contemplation and young impressionable people in search of an identity and sense of belonging self-diagnosing themselves with like 5 different things. My issue with the latter group is that they genuinely make people less inclined to take someones word for it when you say you're X. Mant of these people on tiktok and online have even started to using the word Autism similarly to how people say they have OCD, without actually even meaning it and instead just to suggest they are very fixated on order and cleanliness. And people with OCD understandably dont like that.
You have opened my brain about my opinion about self diagnosers being invalid. Thank you! You explained it so well for me to understand, The "autistic pot of gold" got a giggle. :D I realised my negative opinion came from a place of invalidation, so that's a me problem.
Even I first self-diagnosed half a year ago at almost 40. Got a formal diagnosis a month back. I take absolutely no offense of people who self-diagnose and leave it at it for any reason (no appointments, no money, no need for it, literally whatever!). It is like to say someone who is in wheelchair can walk until they are formally diagnosed as paralyzed!
My journey to diagnosis/identification started with yes, a TikTok video which sparked my curiosity. Then I did a serious deep dive into the topic which included reading approximately 40 books plus recent research studies. I “self-diagnosed” then talked to my psychiatrist who said, “you can make eye contact so you can’t be autistic.” I had been seeing him for about 20 years, and my eye contact is so “good” (sarcasm) that I had no idea what my doctor’s eye color was. I was eventually diagnosed by another doctor, but it was a long, frustrating process. As for the flying frog book I didn’t really tell a story so much as just describe the pictures.
I'm a self diagnosed AuDHDer, but I'm clearly not valid( /s ) because even thought I started the wait for diagnosis in 2018 and TENICALLY got a diagnosis for autism around 2021/22, the privately contracted clinic for the NHS closed down and my diagnosis was lost in the ether, GP's can't find it and no idea what to do now. And in spite of me having clear signs of inattentive ADHD they won't diagnose me with it until the Autism part is done because they think it "may be apart of the Autism" even thought theres a fairly high rate of people with both. And because I have no diagnosis, GP's won't prescribe me potentially life changing ADHD meds, not even as a trial and in a controlled way, and it's controlled here so can't find alternative ways like I had to for other issues I have had without potental legal issues. So I'm rotting away waiting for help that I have nearly no hope of getting unable to interface with society because its so complicated and arbitrary awaiting the governments war on the neurodivergent next year which could end in my end to be frank if I get pushed into work again. But hey because right wingers wanna demonise minorities and these pick me autistics/adhders have to make sure the autistics and adhders are "pure" so that they don't come for them, kick the ladder down for the less fortunate in our community even thought evetually they will come for them too.
@Autistic_AF - it's been hidden in five different places in the US by a crypto billionaire. Only those with extreme hyperfocus and pattern recognition skills will be able to find it. Good luck!
@@Autistic_AFYes, but it’s all going to genetic research and ABA… 😫 I got a junk e-mail today inviting me to work as an ABA practitioner! 🫠 Not joking! I wish I was! 😭
@@Autistic_AF - so I posted a witty (to me :D) response and it seems to have disappeared. But I know that there's a YT black hole for some of my comments, so LMK if this is in response to my "disappeared" comment . . . .
The only downside of self diagnosing I can think of would be for the individual being mistaken and then using the wrong framework to understand and accommodate themselves, maybe. Ive been wrestling with whether im autistic or not but can’t access nor afford an autism evaluation, since the pandemic, and ive gone back and forth on it too many damn times. I collected evidence for and against it to try to be fair. I wish I could be certain. Because sometimes I wonder if I “am making myself worse” by accepting this label. My BFF seems to think I want the self diagnosis so I can either “find something wrong with myself so I can fix it and feel better- like what happened with my ADHD diagnosis” or to justify parts of myself I shouldn’t need to justify. Now that I type that out though I just realized how stupid and offensive what she said is. Or perhaps might be coming from her own inner struggle with my ADHD diagnosis because she might have perceived it as me making excuses for not texting her back enough. Hmm.
As a 50 year old woman in the US, I was getting the "flavor-of-the-month diagnosis" crap growing up because "there's something wrong with you" yet they refused to do an Autism assessment because "only boys are Autistic" and I still cannot get an assessment because "we don't do that for women your age"... I have been forced into self diagnosis because multiple people who have known me for literally decades have pointed it out to me, and my research points to it, including an online test (I got the link from TAW) that differentiates between men and women that literally said I'm Autistic, but an "official legal medical diagnosis" is near impossible for me to get, and I certainly could never afford the thousands of dollars to get an official diagnosis... And yes, I was wrongly diagnosed as Bipolar and BPD, among other things I don't remember... Also, my son (23 now), was identified as Autistic since he was a toddler, yet I was NEVER told about it, nor was he. We only found out very recently (within the last two months) because he got hold of his medical file and found it written there multiple times. Yet he is being denied any accommodation because "it's not in your file" and they refuse to read the medical file he has because it's not a hard copy from a doctor...
I self identified after much research and many online tests. I found an autistic psychologist locally and she validated me but I gave up getting formal diagnosis due to living in the sticks and not covered by Medicare not to mention long wait times boo hoo
My husband is diagnosed with aspergers + a speech impediment at the age of 17 in the UK as a male this was 13 years ago. He was missed as a child and he's a male. The only reason he applied was for accommodation for uni, otherwise he didn't really think he needed one
It baffles me that even diagnosed people think self diagnosed autistics are getting any access to accomodations or support by self diagnosing! The most I've ever got in return for sharing I'm autistic is my neighbor telling me that he doesnt think people like me should be socially outcast and that he doesn't care that I'm a bit strange. The other 99% of the time, saying I'm autistic just generates an "oh, okay" response and people refuse to change a single thing to meet my needs. I'm just expected to adapt and overcome everything.
"You cant be autisitic, you are so normal".. gee, thanks, plus 40 years of masking will do the trick. I really dont know why I should tell anyone (other than the 5 people I already told) I am autistic. It would not help me in anyway.
My self "diagnosis" was after my both kids were tested and affirmed as autistic. The moment I got the explanation of all the tests and all the information I gathered on the Internet confirmed I myself am autistic. It won't change my life but it explained a lot about my life. Officially I have fibromyalgia and PTSD. So in my country I already have the support I need. Greatings from Flanders.
Parasocially missed you & the vibes here, AutisticAF. Nice to see ya again, love your content, & well, just might take you up on your invite to attend some increased livestreams over the Holidays.
I started identifying as autistic in my mid-twenties after my partner started pointing out stuff. They're a lot more educated on the topic and got evaluated for it as a kid (didn't result in a diagnosis). My dad has clear signs of autism too, but refuses to acknowledge any. He's told me that I'm normal bcs I'm just like him 😅 self identification helped me lessen a lot of the guilt and shame I've carried. I just couldn't explain to myself why I got bullied, why people don't react to me in predictable ways, why adapting to work life, managing stimulating environments and self-regulation was hard. Identifying as autistic has made my life so much better, and I now spend more time in environments, where I don't have to mask as hard. Edit: There's horsey autism 😍 that's definitely me.
They all are getting offended by and are rejecting the idea of someone labeling themselves. But we were labeled by others our whole lives: lazy, awkward, shy, stupid, childish, not trying hard enough, being too much, drama queen… I was able to first diagnose myself through Tiktok ( I know, ew! Tiktok), with ADHD, then hEDS, Autism and POTS, all confirmed last year by specialists at 34 years old. Took me about 4 years to figure it all out by doing extensive research. The only diagnosis I got as a child, was dyscalculia. My brother is also autistic (diagnosed at 16) and I suspect my father to be autistic as well. My 4 year old daughter will have her assessment soon, too (probably AuDHD like me).
Not being diagnosed was making me a zombie that didn't leave the house for 20+ years (half my life), even worse trying to be normal and failing made me ruin my life due to outside pressure, as I kept trying to be normal and people kept blaming anything good in my life for my failures, so every time I tried harder to be normal, it lead to me less able to be normal. Without self diagnosing, I would be sitting here not typing this comment and waiting to die. Those TikTokers is trying to kill us that is struggling due to not getting diagnosed.
I am 51 years old, and I have self identified as Autistic for a couple of years now. There are so many reasons why, but the study that shows that 50-80% of people with ADHD likely also have autism just clicked with me. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 years old. In 1982 it was practically unheard of that a girl would be diagnosed with ADHD, and as far as I know it was even rarer for a girl to be diagnosed with autism back then. My mother was even told by some of my teachers that there was no way I could have ADHD because only boys had that. And up until a few years ago the DSM 5 didn't allow for a dual diagnosis. Recently that has changed, and dual diagnosis is now accepted. Because of these facts I am fully convinced that I am auDHD. I believe that if I had been a child today I would have been diagnosed with Autism to start with.
I am an 18yo f and have been formally diagnosed with adhd I am currently on a waiting list which could take 2 or 3 years for an autism assessment and I have made changes in my life to better accommodate my needs and i love hearing from other autistics and those who suspect themselves
I mean, I was pretty sure I was autistic before my official diagnosis. That's because I was doing research into it in my senior year of high school, and then went to seek a diagnosis. I was right, and have been learning more about myself and why I do some of the things that I do. It all started because I suspected that i was autistic, and if that isn't a self-diagnosis, I don't know what is.
It's absolute nonsense. I'm formally diagnosed -- but because I wasn't diagnosed as a child, there was a time when I self-diagnosed, in the same way that I have also repeatedly self-diagnosed with things like broken ankles (I fell down a flight of stairs, tried to get up and walk, and went, "crap, I think I've broken my ankle") because even if you have the resources to get a formal diagnosis (I actually didn't, and only got in front of a panel of psychiatrists through a series of very lucky quirks of fate) **there still has to be a point where you think something is up before you go and get help** Also, given how hard it is to get a diagnosis (I've got a whole saga myself, where despite being British and therefore relatively fortunate, I went around the process three times without seeing a psychiatrist or any medical professional over the course of 12 years before being lucky enough to go private) I don't understand why anyone would have a problem with self-diagnosis. (And for the avoidance of doubt, I didn't get told I wasn't Autistic and just get straight back on the waiting list until I got the answer I wanted, I got bounced off the list three times due to administrative things that weren't my fault, and because by the third time, it had taken so long that some of the people who were my contributors to the stupid "what was he like as a kid" questionnaire had died).
As someone who was diagnosed with adhd at 8 and only autisems at 27 it was a big relief and in the 2 years after I was diagnosed I have Ben able to make so mutch more progres then I have the past 20 years. When you find out what it is that need to changes and why you seemingly can't be I school or forme "normal friendships" I was so happe to findly have a reson why I was feeling like I was.
I feel it’s a difference between hierarchical thinking and egalitarian thinking (roughly). Hierarchical thinkers really really like that there are humans that are “ranked” above them, and below them. The idea that a medical doctor, with years of expensive training, is ranked above many people in society sits well with them. And therefore lower ranked people need the approval of these higher ranked people to come to any sort of label. If you’re a lower ranked common person then you don’t have the social capital to know your own mind. Conversely, egalitarian thinkers see everyone as being on a level playing field in terms of inherent worth to society. Egalitarian thinkers see no problem with others putting their own labels on themselves. It’s not threatening. (But this is all just based on my 50-something years of like experience, not any sort of research 😊)
What do you think of the mug? It's hand painted by a lovely friend, PlutoniumLollie from our community! Thank you for sending it to me (and for omitting the puzzle piece at the bottom of the cup!).
It’s a lovely mug
And a beautiful artwork
Happy 😊❤
@@Autistic_AF gorgeous
Love,love,love it!!!! Please can we have it on your merch store??? ❤
@@pardaloteIs only one! ☝️
Self-diagnosis seems to be how most adults over fourty plus years are being identified as some form of neurodivergence. We were undiagnosed or maybe misdiagnosed as children. We masked and convince ourselves "This is normal, we all experience this." Self-diagnosis was my first step to real proper treatments.
Same. I'm younger but I self diagnosed for 3 years (or more) before I got diagnosed and got help.
My dad definitely has autism and it would explain a lot. One of his brothers has it diagnosed, the other one is quite obvious, but he was always more quiet and artistic so that got over shadowed by his incredible talent and fame. When i mentioned this to my mom (they divorced when i was 3) it was like a light bulb lit up and everything just fell into place for her as i described how similar I am to my dad, how similar my sister is to our dad, and how i would be EXACTLY like him, had i self medicated on weed like he did.
I think there is a big part of the 40+ generation who just shoved it down and endured, like their parents did (my parents included) and for those people, self diagnosing could be a cautious step towards acceptance from within.
My sister is 40 now, and she definitely struggled to admit something was wrong until her son completely broke and the relationship too.
My mom just a few months ago admitted that there IS autism on their side too (i have 2 cousins with Autism) and that she might think her dad was autistic now that she has learned more about autism and how it shows.
So i honestly think self diagnosis is super important, especially for people who have lived a whole life not knowing "what *it* was", what made them slightly different to their peers.
@@theJellyjoker it’s autistic, not neurodivergent, the latter of which is not a medical condition but is a social construction.
Also, there’s nothing autistic people diverged from, since autism per se is our state of normalcy from the beginning.
@@jedimasterham2 neurodivergent means neorologically divergent from the norm as in what is the norm for most people.
@@jedimasterham2 things doesn't need to be a medical condition to be real.
tbh, I feel the "neurodivergent" term much more clearer than "autism". There is a bunch of neuronalical differences that tend to come together, some of them are "autism" and some of them are not (examples include high sensitivity, high intelligence, hiperfocus, sensory processing disorder, disgraphia, being left handed)
Which criteria is being used to determine which ones are autism?, pretty much it's not clear, it seems kind of random imho, or just cherry picking the ones that are less sociably acceptable(even when those things come together).
Just calling all of them neurodivergences it's much clearer imho.
It's like they think you're not autistic before you're diagnosed
Hi Charlotte, yep. A doctor has to do it while you're busy thinking about cartoons or playing with toys. (not my opinion!). Thanks for being here.
In short, it's essentially Schrodinger's Cat, but the cat = autism.
mic drop!
100%
Yes! I was struggling to articulate this. You said it perfectly lol.
Self diagnosis is literally why I have an actual autism diagnosis. It's also why I have any kind of physical diagnosis.
I had to do the work to make up for the incompetence seen in American healthcare.
Spent decades struggling with incompetent health professionals
Me too, PokÉrynia.
Same. I don't know why people think doctors are omniscient gods when "second opinion" is a phrase because it was literally necessary. The healthcare industry is nowhere near perfect and 300 years from now people will look at our understanding of the human brain as rudimentary at best.
PS: I got to Google omniscient v. omnipotent and expanded my lexicon which is always a win. Words speak to me... 😂
@caralynn. Also how we got obese. Nobody was obese before they invented the food pyramid. Dietary guidelines are actually fattening us up. Particularly with doctors using outdated "science" and prejudices
@@caralynn. yeah most self identified autistic people have at some point hyperfocused on autism and probably know more about it than the average GP.
I’d rather accept a small number of people wrongly identifying themselves as autistic than not accept self identification.
The small number of people who are just “doing it for attention” will get bored and move onto something else. The small number of people who are trying to understand themselves based on imperfect information will eventually learn more about themselves and other conditions.
I welcome both these groups into the autism community to learn about autism and autistic people.
I fully agree, Harriet! 🧡
@@harrietwindebank6051 very well put 🙏
Yes! Like if you wrongly diagnose yourself but the strategies help you then that’s someone who got support and help!
@harrietwindebank6051 this is how the trans community got over ran not enough gatekeeping
I thought, at first, I would be in the group that got bored and moved on. It’s been 3 years now of almost daily watching and reading about autism. At this point, I self diagnose as autistic at the age of 50.
People "identified" me as weird/ankward with social anxiety and selective mutism (due to bullying). I had labels my entire life, because something was "wrong". I self-identified as autistic and It's the reason I have an official diagnosis now. I was always autistic. The first step in my journey was self diagnosis
@@panasado7886 sad reality is Even When do all the work for healthcare professionals we tend to be dismissed and gaslit
I love your pfp !
I am officially diagnosed. I do NOT take offense to people who are self diagnosed.
I feel the same way because who are we to judge who and who isn't autistic? Just because they aren't officially diagnosed doesn't mean that there's no possibility that they may be autistic.
Most people who self diagnose probably have good reasons to do so. It's none of our business.
@@manuproulx2764 especially when there's a huge waiting list in the US. And even if your insurance covers some of that it's still a big expense.
Same here.
Heaven help females with autism or adhd. Getting a formal diagnosis as a 47yo woman is practically a pipe dream. The lack of research into women and girls - especially those of us with AuDHD - doesn't mean we should simply keep being misunderstood until the research finally catches up. If I match 90% of the criteria of the DSM-V, share the experiences of the formally diagnosed, and score well into the 'strong case for diagnosis' on multiple research tests such as AQ and CATQ, it's a pretty safe bet I'm autistic.
Hear, hear!
My best friend literally matched *100%* of the diagnostic criteria and was still denied a diagnosis due to not adhering to outdated stereotypes!
As another AuDHD mom, of 4 AuDHD kids...I support this message. I was dx'ed at 40 with ADHD, and 42 with ASD. and I only got tested because my daughter, who was 6 or 7, was diagnosed and she is exactly like me. LOL I only managed this due to there being 1 Neuropsychologist in my area with experience with adult ASD patients...This is in the Seattle Suburbs...with so many people here you'd think there'd be more....and I can confirm...I got the papers/reports and that's it. Nothing else. So yeah, no clue what 'supports' there are we're not getting that these Fake Autistics are? So weird.
I am actually self-diagnosed lactose intolerant despite that TikTokker saying no one is. I have serious stomach cramps whenever I have dairy unless its lactose free. Its got worse over time so now I can't even eat cheese or yoghurt unless lactose free or plant based. I have so many other health issues I haven't got around to discussing this one with my GP. There's an easy fix, change my diet or use lactase tablets when uncertain about ingredients. Makes sense to me to accommodate myself and ask others to do it even if there isn't an official piece of paper to say "lactose intolerant". I guess I will chase that official diagnosis when I have delt with my more pressing health concerns. After all, it will be way cheaper than my official Autism diagnosis!
EXACTLY. 👍🐧🦜
My best friend is also self diagnosed autistic and lactose intolerant! I have seen him eat dairy anyways after realizing he didn't have any lactaid on him and have seen him try to be casual and hide how upset his stomach was afterwards.
I never told him he had to get a doctor's confirmation, I just bought a small box of lactaid and carry it in my bag so that if he ever wants dairy and forgot to bring his own, I can hand some off to him.
On the contrary the vast majority of the world's population are lactose intolerant! In fact the widespread ability for humans to digest lactose into adulthood is a quite recent phenomenon. It's only common in people who are descended from populations which practiced agriculture including the domestication of animals for many generations, which resulted in lactose tolerant people having an evolutionary advantage. The vast majority of adults in most parts of Africa and Asia are lactose intolerant. That Tik Tok man has zero idea what he is talking about.
I didn't know people needed to get a diagnosis for lactose intolerance. Pretty sure the trips to the toilet after a glass of milk speak for themselves
@@pardalote this is SUCH a good analogy! It's not like you can treat lactose intolerance the way you can (or have to rather) treat Crohn's. It makes perfect sense to accomodate for the pattern you see!
Autistics, from what I've seen, go on a research quest of hours upon hours upon hours, poring over countless research papers and taking the AQ test, listening to autistic content creators until we're experts ourselves before coming to the realisation that we're autistic. Not to mention once a child or other family member is identified and we see ourselves in them. There are so many barriers to adult diagnosis as it is. Why are they so keen to gatekeep everyone?
I think a lot of it is a case of, "I'm alright, Jack, pull the ladder up." by those completely oblivious to the fact that many autistics don't use ladders. Not the metaphorical kind, anyway. I think I'm part of the alternative species! I'm a siphophore type human. I can easily move vertically so long as I'm in my habitat of choice. Don't need a ladder! Many autistics, I think, might be siphonophores (profoundly sensitive, filter feeders, extremely environmentally dependent, very hard to cuddle, bristling with stinging cells if handled roughly, apparently slow moving but can turn up in a different hemisphere in a relatively short amount of time, don't much care for being kicked into the dunes, generally treat with hostility and fear, great at detecting tiny changes in our environment, epic survivors, endlessly mutable, bemused by ladders).
Ironically, they are speaking from a place of privilege.
I am a late diagnosed autistic woman. It turns out that the vast majority of time when a person self diagnoses their autism they are almost always right. Going through the diagnostic process is usually a rubber stamp for what we already know about ourselves. I think that this person with ADHD should stick in his own lane and stop commenting on the autistic community and what WE find acceptable. Usually when someone self IDs as autistic it is because they've suffered a lifetime of bullying and had trouble slotting into life. Look at his comment about "being weird doesn't mean you're autistic", it tells me this guy thinks autistics are "weird". I just thought I'd point that out.
No one should talk for the autistic community, not even one autistic person, but definitely a person with an ADHD diagnosis doesn't have a vote about how the majority of us feel when it comes to self diagnosis. After living most of my life as an undiagnosed autistic I want to find all of my undiagnosed brothers and sisters. I want them to understand themselves, get support from the community. Only someone who had lived their life without knowing would understand how much of a benefit self diagnosis is.
As someone diagnosed ADHD at 22 who couldn’t have therefore also been diagnosed autistic until 31 (DSM-V), and was in fact not diagnosed also autistic until quite recently at 42, I suspect this person may be AuDHD and resisting that fact. Over half of autistics also meet the criteria for ADHD, and ADHD is much easier to get diagnosed with, at least in America. 🤔
@@misspat7555 I am sorry you went through that. I wasn't anywhere near what would be considered Asperger's until the criteria changed in 2012. I am a high masking female. I was diagnosed with PSTD because many of my autistic traits slotted into that diagnosis. Most people I know would find that diagnosis incompatible with how I present. I have an A type perfectionist persona. I seem so "together". People that have both diagnosis often do not get diagnosed with either because they can mask each other.
I get very irritated when people get down on self diagnosis. If we are to have any hope of being screened for autism we have to start somewhere, and that somewhere is usually self diagnosis. Whether or not we get diagnosed we suffer. I would rather have an idea of why my life has been so challenging so I can correct it. Also, there are medications that are not good for autistics. We can experience pain differently. I cannot tell you how hard it has been for me, going to the doctor to tell them I am "not well" but being unable to express why I am not feeling well. I am being helped by a local organization to get a general practioner that specializes in helping neurodivergent people. We have our own special health problems.
When I was diagnosed by my mom (a nurse) around 1967 she took me to a psychiatrist and he had me draw a simple picture of my house and family, open a doorknob after unlocking it and shake hands. The only reason she took me there is the school was trying to keep me out of regular classes. There were no services whatsoever for austic people or any other neurodiversity. Having missed all the help I could have used as a child I now am looking for services as an adult. I don't see much out there.
Ah yes my edgy and quirky fun personality traits such as getting overwhelmed by the smell of someone’s chapstick, feeling pained by eye contact, holding back tears when a room layout is changed, and being ostracized by my peers that I totally made up to make me seem edgy and quirky
My friend group being exclusively people with autism/ADHDis just a coincidence I guess
(This a joke, but self diagnosis finally gave me an explanation for me, that I specifically am not broken... I fought and fought against the idea of being autistic at first when my friends started getting diagnoses but it just explained so much. A lot act like the most common road to self diagnosis isn’t paved with years of research and constant doubt)
And even presumably self-doubt once you get an official diagnosis because I can't imagine my imposter syndrome would go away that easy.
I genuinely used to think that the majority of my friends being autistic WAS a coincidence and a sign that I was a good person, but then the ones that weren't diagnosed started to tell me they suspected they were autistic and it really got me thinking.
I mean, what's more likely? That I'm the token allistic that only gets along with autistic people or that we get along because we all have similar brain chemistry?
I'm sure the fact that wearing certain textures of clothing literally made me cry and break things as a child due to overwhelm was definitely a completely normal allistic trait for a child to have. 🙄
A lot of my friends have sign of ADHD, some officially so, and some autistic ones too. Maybe that's not a coincidence. I've been fighting the idea that I might have autism, even resisting the idea of researching it because I might "contaminate the sample" when actual assessment happens, now I realize that's incredibly autistic to think like that.
Maybe, I'm not an alien or broken, I'm just autistic. That might also explain why I can read autistic and neurotypical people's emotions so well but struggle to know how to react to the later. Or it might be confirmation bias induced by the algorithm. Can the algorithm diagnose that shit before doctors do?
My self diagnosis involves asking my husband and daughter if they think I am actually autistic every single day. Since I have self diagnosed, I have made changes in my life that is saving my mental and physical self. I have boundaries I never had and that is making my life and everyone around me's life easier. I can say "I need to go home now" instead of forcing myself to go into one more store and pushing to the point where I feel like I am in a storm or a blender resulting in a meltdown or shutdown and ibs episode. I do the errands I can do, go home and actually make dinner (after a quiet retreat in a dark room) rather than yell at everyone, cry and then curl up in a ball for hours and then feel very embarrassed and like a failure. Maybe I did not get as much done as other people can, I have to accept that. My husband learning all about it has saved our marriage. It is why I work from home now. My whole life has changed for the better after my "self diagnosis".
So glad to hear your husband has educated himself and is being supportive! That makes such a huge difference! ❤
❤
The learning to set appropriate boundaries is a huge one. I still struggle with this at work, even though i've been working on this for over 7 years. It started with either I set different boundaries and don't push myself so hard, or I remove myself from the planet.
Over time i've gotten better about it, but didn't understand why I had to have different boundaries than other people. I knew I was more sensitive to stress, I knew I needed to understand they why behind things, and i knew my thought processes where more logic based than most, but i didn't know why, which made it much harder to have conversations with others about my need for clear communication, and needing to have boundaries where others don't.
Some years into this process, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and while it explained alot, there were still gaps, CRITICAL gaps. Even with the AHDH diagnosis, I was getting to a point I was seriously questioning my sanity when I cam across videos by autists about what its like living with autism and the final piece slipped into place. These videos, where describing EXACTLY what i wished I could put into words and have understood. Some videos, even almost exactly word for word for the entire video!
And I sat with it for a couple years, assessing and reassessing, feeling like an imposter when thinking about it or saying it, before I felt comfortable self identifying.
Its now easier for me to talk about having different needs than most people, and I now have resources I can direct people to that want to understand, yet can't just off my explanation. youtube channels like this, and autistamatic often have videos I can share with people that help bridge the communication gap.
This is exactly how I feel!! I don't know if I'm "actually" autistic or not (and believe me, that makes my imposter syndrome run rampant) but what I do know is that ever since interacting with the community more and trying out coping mechanisms used by other autistic people, *it all clicked.* So much more of my life is wayyy easier because I have become way more in tune and forgiving of my own limits. At the end of the day, I think that's all that matters
I don't care what random people think, they have zero knowledge of who I am or my experience.
And, it’s none of their business.
@@Autistic_AF That's right. I think that most people who self diagnose probably do so for good reasons. But, it's not my business anyways.
As someone officially diagnosed with autism as a kid, people who act like my mom and siblings can't claim to be autistic without a formal diagnosis are mind-boggling. Before my mom went to get me assessed, they researched autism and even read books about it and concluded that both they and my dad are autistic. They never got their autism officially verified because they didn't see a point.
I asked my general practitioner if I could get an assessment for autism. She wondered why I needed It, so I told her about my struggles. My hypersensitivity, my social anxiety, then I started to cry and couldn't finish. She sympathized with me, said that I was fearless, congratulated me for having a family and a university degree, and in the same breath advised me to forget about being assessed by the SUS ( I live in Brazil, it's the equivalent of the NHS). I continue to be self identified until I find a way to be assessed.
@@carlamarinacosta4855 I'm sorry you experienced this, it's absolutely infuriating and demoralizing to pour your soul out only to be downplayed.
You do you, and what makes you happy and helps you is all hella valid. I've learned more online than I did after my assessment and diagnosis anyway. Nothing they told me that I didn't know from experience or autistic creators 🙃 nor did it help with all the undiagnosed trauma that was unlocked, I'm rawdogging that sht. You'll find your way now that you're aware. It won't be easier, but it will feel better (also, be very kind to yourself, it's a learned skill that we could all use in this world)
But, is there a part of you that is holding off from fully accepting yourself until you have a formal assessment and diagnosis? That's what I worry about. Like you're waiting for permission to be yourself even if you don't acknowledge this is what's going on. A lot of people are secretly suffering on a precipice. A small hidden part of themselves never fully accepting of themselves because they believe that an official diagnosis is some sort of gold standard.
And what does it entail to have an official diagnosis? Can we then say, "There. I am now officially diagnosed. Now eff off and leave me alone."? Probably not. It probably means the poking and prodding will only increase. We'll have even more explaining to do. We'll have to present our autistic license, at every juncture, and then have to explain why it's not just a piece of paper. People will think there is something they can fix to make us better fit in with how they think things should be.
@GoldilocksZone-665 When you grow up in a family unit that treats your differences as wrong and your needs like you're just an attention seeker making a big deal out of nothing all the time, a lifetime of invalidation would in fact make it hard for someone to accept themselves because "Themselves is wrong".
An official diagnosis in that circumstance would be the starting point of self-acceptance, because now there is proof validated by a professional that saw what you may have always seen but were taught to unsee.
@@GoldilocksZone-665Yep. The next thought after diagnosis is “How can we fix you?”. So they try to force “normal” behavior (masking), but of course nothing can change how we feel, or a lot of how we think, so that’s no improvement. The world is made to cause “median Jessica” (the median American; “Jessica” is 38, has a husband, kid, and dog, and drives her pickup truck a half-hour each way to her job as a school secretary) to struggle, nevermind anyone who can less common issues! 🤦♀️
That is really hard in Brazil... I grew up in Sao Paulo which is autistic hell (hot, noisy, crowded, full of smells, everyone and everything is always late, plans change constantly, and people have no concept of personal space)... I was diagnosed in the UK... I was privileged to be able to live in a place where I could take control of my life and not feel constantly overwhelmed. Most of my direct family in Brazil is autistic though, and none of them are diagnosed.
So much YES!
Doctors are famously 100% reliable sources of objective truth and immune to all human biases and other error.
(There is a reason why medical diagnoses are called opinions).
A doctor might even formally misdiagnosis autism, say in a kid with ADHD and learning disabilities who also developed cPTSD from bad experiences at home and in school as a result. No human being is perfect! The best we can do is give eachother, and ourselves, some (not infinite) grace! 😮💨
Well, if someone told me they were a self diagnosed lactose intolerant, I'd definitely not tell the person "you're limiting yourself" and make them drink milk.
I’m 52 and experienced the stupid frog book this year. I wouldn’t have had an issue telling the story to my kids when they were young, but doing it in the context of an assessment is just stupid.
🐸✈🐸✈🐸✈
Yay, I'm sorry, Nit! I know what you mean, I wouldn't mind making up a bedtime story, but being handed the book in an assessment is bizarre. Especially as that module hasn't been validated for use on adults. Ahhh, psychology... we'll make you a proper science in the future....
I put some of my own matchbox cars in my pocket, and asked if they'd like me to tell a story about flying frogs or play with these cars in front of them. It got a genuine laugh!
Yeah, I was surprised by the frog book, and also the “tell a story with at least 5 (or was it 7?) of these objects”. I did my best! Apparently, I was pretty obviously autistic, because I didn’t have to do the “extra” bits and was told they were “very comfortable” giving me a diagnosis! 🤣
Oh my god finally someone talks about it! I felt like I was going mad during that part of my assessment lol.
I too got the frog treatment, several times in that assessment i asked are you serious? The second time i got the MIGDAS and that was MUCH better if yer looking for formal diagnosis ask and see if you can have that test done as the ADOS is a waste of time and money.
This is so true. My daughter was diagnosed aged 10. Now my little one is 4 and clearly autistic too. And I was diagnosed at 37 after a lifetime of being berated for not being like other people. I had spent time in psychiatric hospital before and was wrongly diagnosed with other conditions and given wrong medication.
I am self-diag. I can drop 2k and get an official diagnosis, but it won't actually change much. The people that it matters for are supportive, like my wife, boss, and friends. I could write a book of my 47 years of experience and how it fits the DSM, but I don't see this as a cool label to wear but rather an explanation that clarifies who I am and how I function. I would have laughed at you if you had labeled me with ASD a couple years ago, I retired from law enforcement and am still in the military, so I am not the typical person that most would believe was trying to be cool with this awesome ASD label.
That being said, since I self-diagnosed, now I enjoy women chasing me, and a kid asked for my autograph, but I don't do it for the fame.
Ah yes, women favor autistics, it’s true! And cute kids, always wanting our autographs! It’s so sweet! (Absolutely ALL the sarcasm; glad to hear the people who matter are supporting you! ❤)
The relief that comes with self understanding, and that we can accommodate ourselves, that is what it is about.
Here in the USA, if you are diagnosed with autism, you are not allowed to join any branch of the military here in the USA at all.
Ok. So I didn't understand the initial sarcasm at all lol. As an autistic woman who DOES seem to love autistic men, I thought this guy was bragging, but I didn't get how the women wouldn't have been equally attracted to him pre diagnosis and...yep
@@LM-uq9nv I try to be cautious with sarcasm on ND sites because of this 😄
I asked my family doctor for an ASD assessment. Her response was:
"That's a psychology thing, and there are no public services for autistic audults assessments. What would an autism diagnosis do for you anyway?"
I felt shattered.
"oh, I don't know... maybe validate a life time of struggling with it and making it easier to get accommodations outside of home environment?" So galling when the people we reach out to dismiss us. Especially if we haven't been nurtured in the way we needed to be.
@M2Mil7er 100% right. I've caught myself saying "I'm fine!" despite being in so much pain I was white-knuckling the chair I was in because being "needy" was bad.
4:09 Who are these people who think that people are doing this (calling themselves autistic) because they think that it is edgy?! Nobody I know, thinks that autism is edgy!
I WANT TO BE EDGY !!!!!! DON'T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!!!!
@@Autistic_AF 😂
@@Autistic_AF We are all edgy on this blessed day.
Diagnosed at 46. Autism, ADHD. Felt weird and not part of humanity all my life before diagnoses. Still do. 😊
Exactly. They complain about people faking on social media for clout, but no one can give a concrete example
@juliazalewski3023 that is an excellent point that I can't believe I missed!
I was broken. I was written off under "mental health" when I broke, and for the next 25 years.
I am now diagnosed autistic.
Now, my whole life makes sense! If you identify with channels like this, if it brings you clarity, then you don't need a diagnosis as far as I am concerned. You will know.
I'm like a lot of people in this comments section: the only reason I have an "Official Diagnosis" is because the self diagnosis came first.
The medical/mental health system missed me entirely in childhood and I've had to struggle a lot up until now. It's rude and insulting to imply people do this for fun or to hop on a trend.
Also these people tend to have a lot in common with "autism moms" when they imply autism is a kind of lifelong disease that is somehow hurting the people that have it and making their caregivers' lives so difficult.
Self-identification is the first step to an official diagnosis. I can't think of a different way how it could go instead. At least I haven't been suddenly hit by a diagnosis out of nowhere in my 40+ years. And I'm pretty sure, that I have already been autistic before my self-identification.
And no, I don't 'need' a label. But without one, I won't get any accommodations, that probably make life a bit easier.
The autistic life can be a challenge already. Having to fight off the misconceptions around it, is draining and is something that we don't need, on top of everything else.
The different way it can and often does go is that the person is dealing with certain struggles they don't understand, don't know the source of, and/or don't know what to do about. They seek help and the help they seek identifies patterns to their struggles leading to assessment/diagnosis.
@@ASalad Would be nice, it would work that way. Reality is, there's still a lack of knowledge, even among medical professionals. People are still being misdiagnosed or overseen. Especially high masking individuals.
And even if you are self-identifying as being on the spectrum, situations in which you get told, that you can't be autistic, because you can make eye contact.
Self-identification can be a good thing.
@@plutoniumlollie9574 It does work that way for some, just not for all. It would be nice if it worked that way much more often.
Medical professionals that aren't in Psychiatry generally aren't trained in recognizing things like Autism. That's usually Psychology and Psychiatry that study, identify, and treat where needed. It would be nice if they too were more familiar with it sure, but it typically isn't their area.
Even amongst those working in Psychiatry and Psychology, many of them are using outdated information. Autism research is expanding and discovering a great deal about its various features and presentations quite rapidly in relative terms, especially when compared to most other studied mental health experiences.
And the internet has allowed highly invested communities, like those of the online autism community, to absorb some of that information faster than many professionals, especially those who either aren't working with autism frequently or are but are locked into incomplete understandings.
I could write whole essays on the challenges with advancing the knowledge of Autism research, identification, assessment, and treatment throughout the field of Psychology (my professional field.) There are many challenges on the side of access and competency. But while there are many challenges, there are many highly informed, highly competent professionals that are regularly identifying and working with autism using up-to-date information and with awareness of community concerns. And yes, high-masking and presentations that aren't the "classic" ones are included in that.
I think self-diagnosis can be good and it can also sometimes be bad and it can also sometimes be a mix. There are risk factors, there are concerns, but there are numerous potential benefits and advantages as well.
15:00 you nailed what I was going to comment: the word "diagnosis" is problematic, because self diagnosis a disease usually is a bad idea, so I can imagine why people may use that preconception to discourage "self diagnosis" for autism
It can come from a good but misguided place. There's a very funny (to me) video on TH-cam of a famous content creator who was told by a fan that her brother had autism. His immediate response was, "I'm so sorry". 😣 😂
I agree somewhat but I've also got chronic illnesses and I have self diagnosed myself a number of times but I've always then gone on to discuss it with my GP (family doctor in the US) and follow it up. I have successfully diagnosed myself a number of times in this fashion. My suggestion is that self diagnosis isn't a bad thing in either context as long as steps are taken to confirm it. Since this is unachievable for some people in the typical context I would posit that as long as someone has followed a logical process, i.e. has determined whether or not they meet the diagnostic criteria, we shouldn't invalidate them. Unless we can guarantee that every person in the world has access to autism assessments by professionals experienced in different presentations of autism, we can't justify excluding people who have to find answers on their own.
Mike, I’ve noted and appreciated your change to “late identified.” I’ll be adopting this when I start making my own content.
I was identified as autistic at age 12 which I always thought was late because it was so obvious until as an adult I found out that's super early for a girl. But with ADHD I first self-identified for 2,5-3 years before being officially "diagnosed" aka identified. I really prefer this term too!
Thank you for this, I've felt like something was different about me for most of my life. It wasn't just me either, teachers suspected it, my parents suspect it, most of my friends throughout school were neurodivergent as well. I don't know why no one did anything back then, but now I don't see the point of an official diagnosis anymore. I relate a lot to autism content, and I'm really happy that the majority has been welcoming.
When it takes 3+ years to get an assessment or thousands of pounds ... self diagnosis is all many have. That and the widespread incompetence of the MH community and I consider self diagnosis just as valid.
@@Touay. Sad reality is health care professionals are very uneducated on Neurodivergence
What did the monster hunter community do other than be really annoying about the longsword?
@saratoga6663 ... isn't that enough!!! :-)
@@Touay. guess so, but idk what the monster hunters did to cause this much of an issue
I’m 53 (2024), and I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I’m still awaiting an autism diagnosis (US resident, woman).
How does ANYONE know what's going on inside someone's head sponge!? Honestly, by that metric, everyone really would be autistic because no one can really know something like that.
Thank you for making me feel like a bit less of a weird duck. Sometimes when I feel all "imposter syndrome" about my ASD self-diagnosis (although 'self-discovery' just popped up as an autocorrect and I might like that term better lol) I find myself coming to your channel, or autism from the inside, or mom on the spectrum, etc-- and EVERY time I feel like "goddamnit these are my people, these are absolutely my people".. Oh.. Why do I almost want to cry but in a good way? (this is weird, I'm leaving, sorry)
Hey Steve, you're alright! And I like self discovery better than 'diagnosis', too. I'm glad you're here. One of us! 🧡
Thank you for doing this video and standing up to such idiocy for us! I will play the full video, but can’t even watch the clips because these types hurt me so much. It IS like being back in school! Almost 68 years old in US, community of about 175,000 … there are no one within many hours who can diagnose, nor a way to pay… having a scientific mental approach, I’ve known since 1968! Ah, thanks again!
Hey Joseph, yes that's the feeling - like being back in school. Take care.
I know I am autistic but I am poor & live in the u,s I will most likely never get a diagnosis by a doctor tho that doesn't magically take away my autism, tiktokers some to forget some people just don't have the money
I think if they'd fix the diagnostic criteria, access to proper evaluation resources and actual accommodations, then you probably wouldn't have as many people publicly announcing their self-diagnosis. It can get particularly tricky for those of us that are on the edges of the diagnosable range just because that does not guarantee that we don't have massive problem to deal with and aren't massively traumatized by the lack of support in navigating society.
Thanks for this one. My daughter is a selfdiagnosed Autistic jong woman.
I’m a selfdiagnosed ADHD. Struggling with the neurotypical world feels shit for both of us.
We try to find our way in, it but work and trying to have a social life is a big struggle. I leaned a lot from her. And thanks to your AAF channel I learn more every week.
Speaking over: On Reddit, the autism subreddit has a lot of self-described self-diagnosed autistic folks. When someone self discloses some experience and asks if others have had that experience, there are often more self-diagnosed folks in the replies, and that skews the answers in the direction of lower-support-needs. Folks with higher support needs sometimes express that they no longer feel at home in the community as a result.
I personally think that people who self-diagnose have reasons (ie, symptoms) for doing so. I also think it is beneficial to find a community of people who accept each other. I say this to say that I am pro self-diagnosis, I just wanted to offer an example of what might be considered "talking over."
Thank you, Sara. That's enlightening. In many ways, use of the internet, having a reddit account, etc, skews the answers in that direction also; maybe it's made more complex by the challenge of a varied spectrum condition and the internet which is at its worst when people are talking at, instead of with, each other.
It’s fair to say that the people with the most trouble communicating will be less common (due to being at an extreme) and also get fewer responses and especially fewer responsive responses. That would indeed have to be frustrating, for a group already frustrated just by trying to exist on the daily. 🫤
I havent had a actual diagnosis yet but looking and researching things plus just analyzing my own behaviors, life, i am neurodivergent but not sure exactly what. 33yrs old and no one believes me lol
🧡
Thank you thank you thank you - your content has been educational and extremely comforting for me. You have shifted my debilitating self judgement about my "weirdly sensitive" state of being - BPD was the first misdiagnosis i received as a 33 year old woman - I am now 54... there is definitely significant trauma in my background that I had assumed explained my "issues". Long story short, your videos have given me permission to be self-accommodating, to give my self room to be who and HOW I am, and at this point it is unimportant to me what my diagnosis actually is... You and your channel are a gift to all of us. Thank you.
You are the kindest, Haide. Your sweet comment is going to make me cry! 😢 🧡
To me these people are just demonstrating a common lack of awareness of how our brains operate. As humans we are uniquely able to process higher thoughts but we seem increasingly to confine ourselves to this visceral, primitive, amygdala-driven reaction which is born of fear. Once we're aware of this tendency to initial knee-jerk, we can learn to counteract it. If they actually stopped to think, as we do, they may feel differently. For myself, I will finally have an explanation as to why I struggle so hard despite my best efforts. These people feel threatened and I can understand that. However, I think They're allowing that old, primitive part of their brain to gain ascendency, as so many seem to be doing these days. Another great video.
Hello Kylee, if I could change just one thing about humanity it would be to offer this as a solution; learning to counteract the initial 'lizard-brain' knee-jerk responses. Thank you, I hope you're good, Kylee. 🧡
@@Autistic_AFI call it our “squirrel brain”, the part that a squirrel shares with us. We cannot “overcome” or “overrule” it, only learn to work with it. It has kept us alive for hundreds of millions of years, and it’s pretty hard-wired, so it isn’t going anywhere. We can, however, learn to recognize when it is triggered into a fearful, aggressive response, and give it some time and space while our drastically more recent, slower, and more adaptive cerebral cortex expansions work on catching up with what the heck is going on. This is why people benefit so much from GOOD psychotherapy; it provides a safe space to mull over the reactions of our squirrel brains and try to sort out more adaptive responses to them. ❤
Edit: typo
Great video as always Mike :) made me laugh a few times too hehe
I’d much rather someone self identify and possibly be wrong than not and struggle because of it. Being diagnosed saved my life, or rather being asked to be assessed which led to the self discovery did
I had a woman email me twice to tell me to reach out to someone who works for Autism Speaks here in the USA and I told her as a low income autistic woman without an intellectual disability who has been diagnosed with four other disabilities in an email back to here, that I feel Autism Speaks only spends 1% of their income on life long supports for autistic people across the lifespan and I also told her if they were to find the supports or I already know the supports I need, that they would not be able to pay for every therapy and supports that I need in order to live on my own at least. She kept telling me that has not been my experience.
Less than 1% from their most recent accounts. Let’s hope this is addressed in the next set of published accounts!
Wow. I'm glad I'm old enough to give less of an EFF about these critics. I would love a diagnosis. I would love supports. But I can't afford diagnosis, and wouldn't receive much in the way of supports. But I'll be damned if knowing what I am dealing with hasn't been extremely helpful with my mental health journey. CPTSD is just one of the results of my living undiagnosed for 57 years.
If anything institutions are failing us. We are not getting accomodations and often They take our difference as an excuse to strip us of basic human rights
Schrödinger's autist is a good analogy. Given your chance of getting an assessment in the foreseeable future, will the Autist still be alive when you eventually get around to looking in the box? In the meantime, if the box meows, the contents is alive and most probably a cat!
When I hear people like those two in 0:05, all I hear is the teacher from Peanuts. My sensory sensitivities go to overdrive with people like this. The ignorance is embarrassing and rampant
The learning to set appropriate boundaries is a huge one. I still struggle with this at work, even though i've been working on this for over 7 years. It started with either I set different boundaries and don't push myself so hard, or I remove myself from the planet.
Over time i've gotten better about it, but didn't understand why I had to have different boundaries than other people. I knew I was more sensitive to stress, I knew I needed to understand they why behind things, and i knew my thought processes where more logic based than most, but i didn't know why, which made it much harder to have conversations with others about my need for clear communication, and needing to have boundaries where others don't.
Some years into this process, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and while it explained alot, there were still gaps, CRITICAL gaps. Even with the AHDH diagnosis, I was getting to a point I was seriously questioning my sanity when I cam across videos by autists about what its like living with autism and the final piece slipped into place. These videos, where describing EXACTLY what i wished I could put into words and have understood. Some videos, even almost exactly word for word for the entire video!
And I sat with it for a couple years, assessing and reassessing, feeling like an imposter when thinking about it or saying it, before I felt comfortable self identifying.
Its now easier for me to talk about having different needs than most people, and I now have resources I can direct people to that want to understand, yet can't just off my explanation. youtube channels like this, and autistamatic often have videos I can share with people that help bridge the communication gap.
I was completely convinced I was “maybe a bit Aspie, or autistic, or whatever”, until I took the RAADS-R and scored above average FOR AUTISTICS. I sat for a bit, and then was like, “What are these domains of autism I keep reading about on Twitter, again?”. 😳
I remember going to my NP because I was struggling with what I now know was burnout, but I guessed it was “just Depression” again, since I was diagnosed by my GP in Highschool.
I had on an autism related hat and remember the amount of snark she had in her voice as she asked me “What makes you think you’re autistic?” I was not prepared or in the right state of mind to answer that question, and she essentially just threw another SSRI at me, which I said I didn’t want to take any since I had been on the same one for 6 years prior, and she referenced me to a psychiatric online thing.
The online Psychiatrist/Psychologist, i don’t even remember what she was, told me after two VIDEO appointments that I’m “atypical” in my presentation and couldn’t help me… THAT COSTED $500, BECAUSE IT WASN’T EVEN COVERED BY INSURANCE!!
You bet I’m never gonna be able to get officially diagnosed, I don’t have the money or time for the healthcare nonsense of America!
Side note: Of course I’m atypical, I’m an undiagnosed 24 year old woman! I thought we were on the same page here?!?! ☠️
I’m sorry, Mike - I’ve watched all of your videos religiously, but these people offend me so much that I know I won’t make it through. Kudos to you for sitting through all this crap for us!
Hi Melissa, noooooooooooooooo... If you want, there's chapter markers so that you can skip.
I have a diagnosis and I understand that self diagnosis is the only option open to some people. Some of these people getting outraged should maybe channel those feelings towards why getting a diagnosis is just not possible for everyone.
I cannot make out what the first tiktoker is saying about being lactose intolerant or having Crohn’s. They think food intolerance can only be diagnosed by their medical provider, as in they test for it every time and will not believe the patient’s self-report? Having a food intolerance or allergy isn’t diagnosed like that, at least not for me. The gold standard for testing for food intolerance and allergies is actually elimination and an optional food challenge (reintroduction), optional because reintroducing alone can be risky. I told my medical providers what my food allergies/intolerances were, and they noted it. When I reacted to antibiotics, I reported that I had become allergic to them, and they took my word for it.
For autism, no primary care provider/ general practitioner diagnoses autism, unless they sought further education and changed their area of specialization. Even psychiatrists typically are only in the business of medication management, meaning that they don’t have time to be doing multiple hour autism assessments, nor do they actually have the training. Psychologists need additional education to do autism assessments as well.
Yep; not even all or most psychologists can diagnose autism. Meanwhile, any PCP can diagnose ADHD and prescribe stimulants… I suspect this leads to a lot of AuDHD-ers only diagnosed ADHD-ers, like I was for 20 years… 😑
@ funny how you said that any PCP can diagnose and treat ADHD. It is true, yes, but it depends on the health system. Kaiser, for example, tries to channel any mental health support to the psychiatry department, which is totally overloaded. I currently am attempting to transfer my psychiatrist to a neurodivergent affirming one, but they denied it, but they also deny that my PCP take over it, even a psychiatric pharmacist. I’m allowed to request again in a year 🤦🏻♀️ You know the craziest part?! I’m a PCP with additional training in psychiatry. I could literally tell my PCP what to do.
Actually those of us who are undiagnosed have often our basic human rights stripped more often than not
I’m a woman, at first I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Autism was never even a possible option to my doctors. My friend who had autistic friend suggested that I could be autistic too for years, but I wasnt sure and couldn’t even suggest it to myself. Part of it was the fear of being a “self diagnosed faker”. Until my niece moved to a different country and got diagnosed almost immediately. My whole family then told me to do the same.
I met a doctor that specializes in it who affirmed my diagnosis. Yet I don’t have any “official” medical record of it. It’s not in my medical history. Because it’s not something that would benefit me where I live.
And even now the people that do this “faker hunting” make me feel guilty and unsure.
tbh, how can you NOT be self-diagnosed before you might end up being professionally diagnosed? it takes away our autonomy - we're supposed to just wait around until a professional assesses us and puts that label on us, if it is even recognised in us at all due to wrong perceptions and stereotypes? how are we supposed to understand ourselves if we can't even explore these possibilities and maybe even come out of it realising it actually doesn't fit? who is it hurting? self-diagnosed people aren't the problem here, and i'm sick of people pointing at people just understanding themselves as hurting the community as opposed to actual institutions doing that instead. i'll be 30 in less than 3 months now, and i still have to keep waiting longer after figuring myself out after years of this. me self-diagnosing is not destroying the community, just like someone exploring their gender and/or sexuality is not destroying the queer community.
as a trans man myself, i was already not able to get noticed with it as i was growing up, and there is the unfortunate transphobic narrative that plagues transmasc people of not being able to understand their own gender and transition.
also, isn't it true that being professionally diagnosed, specifically here with autism (or ADHD too, for that matter, i'm definitely sure i have AuADHD, especially since debating i had ADHD came first years ago now), it isn't always a welcome thing when it comes to stuff like legal and medical interventions? because having it known medically and so even maybe publically, it's not exactly a safe thing to do?
Some people prefer not to pursue formal diagnoses for exactly this reason. I weighed this carefully before going ahead, and understand why someone might choose differently. 🤔
Well I did not really know much of autism before my diagnose, so it was kind of a "surprise"
These people that are sitting up here saying this or acting like they’re part of some exclusive club that someone wants to join lol complete insanity! Self Diagnosis IS VALID!!
As one who has found formal diagnosis financially out of reach at this juncture ( somewhat due to employment issues related to my neurodivergence), I very much appreciate this. I know what I know after connecting so many dots through years of research ( one of my avid interests) and seeing myself in my formally diagnosed autistic children. Thank you so much.
I don't suspect this about myself whimsically. I might not mention it to strangers.
72 year old self identified female autistic of the computer science type here , No offense taken about anything any more.
Any other knitter distracted by the pattern around the neckline of Mike's sweater/ jumper?
Just trying to suss out the construction as it's atypical. :D
Think I figured it out. It's cut from a flat piece of knitted fabric as a raglan construction. Hence the interruption of the white design at the neckline and the squareness of the pattern. It looks like they've used a sewn raglan seam.
This comment brought to you by my ADHD (distraction) and self-identified autism (knitting and garnent construction as special interest) ❤
I don't understand what you've said, but I'm smiling - I hope that counts? :D
Oh, I wanted to tell you - Cookie's had chicks! Will have to do a peep show live soon! 🔜 🐣🐣
@@Autistic_AF - awesome!! Are they blue?? 🤣
😂 I’ve not seen them yet!
Lol not a knitter but definitely a geometric pattern noticer--it was kind of distracting at first around the neckline, then after a few minutes I didn't get bothered anymore.
It may be that we are now living in a world that exacerbates and accentuates autistic traits and struggles. That's what I think may be going on. My dad, in a way, was lucky. Being male, in the forties and fifties, his abilities took him in a direction perfectly suited to his type. People he mixed with, that weren't his colleagues or former colleagues, would affectionately call him 'professor' or 'boffin'. They'd be, mostly, kind about his strange interpersonal ways. We used to treasure our teachers and thinkers. He was nurtured. This is not the world we are now living in.
I self diagnosed in November of 2021 due in part to how I left a job I held for 12 years in the personal computer industry. The owner of the place is very Machiavellian and had caused what I now know to be autistic meltdowns on my part no less than 10 times over that timespan. It's funny how that happened; I was watching youtube videos and came across a couple of different videos that made me start questioning stuff. As one does, I found myself in a rabbit hole and wanted to see how deep it got. For the first time in my life, everything about myself began to make sense to me. My lifelong quest to answer questions about myself ended on that day. In my case, I'm in my mid fifties now (born in 1968), went through school always being ostracized and teased and bullied and never understanding why. I remember undergoing some sort of psychological evaluation for something when I was 9 years old in the 4th grade (March 1978), but never being given an explanation as to why I was singled out for this. So, fast forward to Jan of 2022 when I posted my self diagnosis on my Fakebook page, a couple of days later I was informed of my formal diagnosis as a child in 1978. Oh, so that's what that was. That's why I was asked weird questions like 'when you are on the playground, do you hang out by yourself or mingle with the other kids' ... it all made sense like someone flipping a switch to a light.
Over a decade ago now, I read Samantha Craft's females with autism checklist and related, big time. I started to read more (yes, it became a special interest!). I was sure I was on the spectrum, but, you know, imposter syndrome blah blah blah.
It has taken me all this time to finally accept it in myself, mainly thanks people like your good self, after watching TH-cam videos and reading all the more.
I told my doctor, the first person I had ever told, and asked, "So, where do I go for a diagnosis?" You know, thinking that it's like a specialist referral when you and your doc suspect something's going on with your heart or your joints or whatever.
I was absolutely shocked when he turned on me, saying that there's no way I'm autistic because I'm too social and that I'm only doing it to get a disability pension and help from the government.
I still haven't got over that response. It was terrible.
So here I am, aged 53, with self-diagnosed autism. That's all I can do.
I am self diagnosed. I have done a number of tests and the results are consistant with comments others have said. I won't get an official diagnosis due to the time and cost. I don't think at my age it would be much help anyway. Also, you need to be sure of the competence of the psychologist when getting a diagnosis as a wrong diagnosis can be very unhelpful.
My husband had cancer before the doctor diagnosed it. I have autism, even if I don't have a diagnosis. Dude, you know how much freaking research I did before I even thought that thought to myself? So much. I suspect most of us who were not identified as kids (I'm in the over 50 crowd!) have done our research before accepting it as part of who we are. Sharing it, even though I don't have a 'official' diagnosis with my dentist resulted in a MUCH better experience with only needing that one day to recover. Dental visits would send me to bed for two to five days, depending on what happened previously. Forget the people who think you are taking something away from them, especially as an adult. I can attest, the few benefits my daughter gets are fought over frequently, she has to keep proving she is still autistic every couple years.
The only concern I have around self-diagnosis is people misdiagnosing themselves and then not getting the right help they may need.
Autistic adults aren't getting the help they need in the first place.
I'm not autistic but ADHD. ADHD has a similar self diagnosis wave going on. I feel the same way about self-diagnosis. It's a great first step to getting real help with the things you struggle with. Many times, healthcare brushes off the concerns of people they deem unworthy for whatever reason. Women, mental illness, disablities, all of these have seen the shove it under the rug, and it doesn't exist method of healthcare. Besides, just like with my students, many of the things that help those with disablities, also help everyone else. There is no harm in implementing things that help you in your day to day life.
Come for the hot takes and impeccable delivery (yes I know your editing skills are to be in part commended for this haha) but rarely comment.
As a recently (in the last couple of years) self-identified late-discovered autistic, I appreciate the content of your videos, hearing your experiences, and knowing that it’s quite similar to mine incites a certain pushback against my imposter syndrome. It’s still a difficult on-the-fence point for me whether I will pursue assessment, because I can’t see a huge amount of benefit coming out of it - not much is likely to change with formalising this stuff any more than I already have. As you said, the pot of gold just doesn’t exist, and supports are geared to children and those with higher, more outwardly obvious support needs, which doesn’t describe me or my experiences. But knowing it’s not all about formal diagnosis, and trying to implement appropriate accommodations where I can has begun to work wonders for my mental heath, general wellbeing and overall QoL. Your channel helps with this. So thank you for the way you approach topics, research perspectives, support opinions and deliver content. You’re positively affecting people and it’s important. Keep it up.
Thank you, Mike ... and to this community for showing such generosity of spirit and sharing knowledge. Self-identified, me. Hardwon understanding. I feel a measure of peace and a sense of belonging that I had given up on. 59 years on the fringes of family and society. ❤️🩹
How do these people even think people get diagnosed, you have no reason to feel like you need one before noticing something's up, it starts with the self diagnosid
My self-diagnosis journey began a year and a half ago and I believe it has saved my life. Its been a long and involved process but the understanding I've gotten from it has opened up a whole new way of life. I'm not a wonky horse, after all. I'm a zebra and exactly as I was designed. That’s not to say its easy and ‘all better’. But I can now filter it alt through the right lens and, therefore, respond accordingly.
I was diagnosed all the way back in 1997, at a time when Autism wasn't very well know. Aside from how news outlets used to frame it. In the subsequent years, especially when the AV movement was using autism to push their agenda: They started framing autism as the worst thing to happen to humanity and completely unwanted by humanity.
When I discovered that people were self diagnosing as autistic. I didn't find that offensive. Quite the opposite. I found it validating.
Because Self-DX completely bucks the narrative that autism is unwanted. And shows that autism should be accepted and embraced. I actually find it more incredibly offensive when people who are not autistic are saying I should be offended at the idea that more people are willing to openly declare themselves as autistic showing that I'm not as alone as I was originally made to feel all the way back then.
I've been waiting for 2 years for my sons assessment on a wait list, which was supposed to be up in November of this year, and I just called to see how much longer we have to wait, it's going to be another 6 months at least. The US healthcare system is completely dysfunctional and way too expensive. You can't even get an assessment FOR a diagnosis. And do I want to trust a system in such dysfunction anyway? I don't think I do.
I was rather surprised when I had to wait… to be sent an at-home questionnaire that as someone who is really good at taking tests took me THREE DAYS to carefully work through, sort out, and send back, to then be put on the waiting list to see a psychologist! Like, why was there a wait for the at-home questionnaire?!? 🤦♀️
The world has gone to hell since we started to use mental health terms as social markers, rather than conceptual tools.
I'm going to get diagnosed next week so just know you have been a huge part of this journey. My family has invalidated me for my problems, and I had shut downs my whole life and this year i finally understand what those were, everyone has been getting mad at me for shutting down because it would in conversations. I have been labeled Rude, Disrespectful and dramatic from my whole family. Also when you talked about how the psychiatrist told you you were not autistic because you had a family or something like that mine has done the same thing, he said I'm not autistic because I gave good eye contact but that's only because i wasn't uncomfortable. He labeled me as Adhd but I think it's more than that and Autistic TH-camrs like you gave me proof that there is a huge chance. No one in my family understood me but I felt seen when I watch your videos. Isn't this proof enough? I have been studying about adhd and autism this whole year. I took all the autism tests that were positive so there is a better chance the doctor doesn't misdiagnosed me because this is very clear to me and I need people to see and understand this so I can be myself when I go to college in spring.
My opinion is that the cost and time of getting an evaluation in some parts of the world is the real issue. I also think there's a big difference between middle-aged people who have made a lot of contemplation and young impressionable people in search of an identity and sense of belonging self-diagnosing themselves with like 5 different things. My issue with the latter group is that they genuinely make people less inclined to take someones word for it when you say you're X. Mant of these people on tiktok and online have even started to using the word Autism similarly to how people say they have OCD, without actually even meaning it and instead just to suggest they are very fixated on order and cleanliness. And people with OCD understandably dont like that.
You have opened my brain about my opinion about self diagnosers being invalid. Thank you! You explained it so well for me to understand, The "autistic pot of gold" got a giggle. :D I realised my negative opinion came from a place of invalidation, so that's a me problem.
Even I first self-diagnosed half a year ago at almost 40. Got a formal diagnosis a month back. I take absolutely no offense of people who self-diagnose and leave it at it for any reason (no appointments, no money, no need for it, literally whatever!). It is like to say someone who is in wheelchair can walk until they are formally diagnosed as paralyzed!
My journey to diagnosis/identification started with yes, a TikTok video which sparked my curiosity. Then I did a serious deep dive into the topic which included reading approximately 40 books plus recent research studies. I “self-diagnosed” then talked to my psychiatrist who said, “you can make eye contact so you can’t be autistic.” I had been seeing him for about 20 years, and my eye contact is so “good” (sarcasm) that I had no idea what my doctor’s eye color was. I was eventually diagnosed by another doctor, but it was a long, frustrating process. As for the flying frog book I didn’t really tell a story so much as just describe the pictures.
I'm a self diagnosed AuDHDer, but I'm clearly not valid( /s ) because even thought I started the wait for diagnosis in 2018 and TENICALLY got a diagnosis for autism around 2021/22, the privately contracted clinic for the NHS closed down and my diagnosis was lost in the ether, GP's can't find it and no idea what to do now. And in spite of me having clear signs of inattentive ADHD they won't diagnose me with it until the Autism part is done because they think it "may be apart of the Autism" even thought theres a fairly high rate of people with both. And because I have no diagnosis, GP's won't prescribe me potentially life changing ADHD meds, not even as a trial and in a controlled way, and it's controlled here so can't find alternative ways like I had to for other issues I have had without potental legal issues. So I'm rotting away waiting for help that I have nearly no hope of getting unable to interface with society because its so complicated and arbitrary awaiting the governments war on the neurodivergent next year which could end in my end to be frank if I get pushed into work again. But hey because right wingers wanna demonise minorities and these pick me autistics/adhders have to make sure the autistics and adhders are "pure" so that they don't come for them, kick the ladder down for the less fortunate in our community even thought evetually they will come for them too.
LOL @ "Big pot of Autism Money."
So you're saying it's real....? 👑
@Autistic_AF - it's been hidden in five different places in the US by a crypto billionaire. Only those with extreme hyperfocus and pattern recognition skills will be able to find it. Good luck!
@@Autistic_AFYes, but it’s all going to genetic research and ABA… 😫 I got a junk e-mail today inviting me to work as an ABA practitioner! 🫠 Not joking! I wish I was! 😭
👀
@@Autistic_AF - so I posted a witty (to me :D) response and it seems to have disappeared. But I know that there's a YT black hole for some of my comments, so LMK if this is in response to my "disappeared" comment . . . .
The only downside of self diagnosing I can think of would be for the individual being mistaken and then using the wrong framework to understand and accommodate themselves, maybe. Ive been wrestling with whether im autistic or not but can’t access nor afford an autism evaluation, since the pandemic, and ive gone back and forth on it too many damn times. I collected evidence for and against it to try to be fair. I wish I could be certain. Because sometimes I wonder if I “am making myself worse” by accepting this label. My BFF seems to think I want the self diagnosis so I can either “find something wrong with myself so I can fix it and feel better- like what happened with my ADHD diagnosis” or to justify parts of myself I shouldn’t need to justify. Now that I type that out though I just realized how stupid and offensive what she said is. Or perhaps might be coming from her own inner struggle with my ADHD diagnosis because she might have perceived it as me making excuses for not texting her back enough. Hmm.
As a 50 year old woman in the US, I was getting the "flavor-of-the-month diagnosis" crap growing up because "there's something wrong with you" yet they refused to do an Autism assessment because "only boys are Autistic" and I still cannot get an assessment because "we don't do that for women your age"... I have been forced into self diagnosis because multiple people who have known me for literally decades have pointed it out to me, and my research points to it, including an online test (I got the link from TAW) that differentiates between men and women that literally said I'm Autistic, but an "official legal medical diagnosis" is near impossible for me to get, and I certainly could never afford the thousands of dollars to get an official diagnosis...
And yes, I was wrongly diagnosed as Bipolar and BPD, among other things I don't remember... Also, my son (23 now), was identified as Autistic since he was a toddler, yet I was NEVER told about it, nor was he. We only found out very recently (within the last two months) because he got hold of his medical file and found it written there multiple times. Yet he is being denied any accommodation because "it's not in your file" and they refuse to read the medical file he has because it's not a hard copy from a doctor...
I self identified after much research and many online tests. I found an autistic psychologist locally and she validated me but I gave up getting formal diagnosis due to living in the sticks and not covered by Medicare not to mention long wait times boo hoo
My husband is diagnosed with aspergers + a speech impediment at the age of 17 in the UK as a male this was 13 years ago. He was missed as a child and he's a male. The only reason he applied was for accommodation for uni, otherwise he didn't really think he needed one
It baffles me that even diagnosed people think self diagnosed autistics are getting any access to accomodations or support by self diagnosing!
The most I've ever got in return for sharing I'm autistic is my neighbor telling me that he doesnt think people like me should be socially outcast and that he doesn't care that I'm a bit strange.
The other 99% of the time, saying I'm autistic just generates an "oh, okay" response and people refuse to change a single thing to meet my needs. I'm just expected to adapt and overcome everything.
"You cant be autisitic, you are so normal".. gee, thanks, plus 40 years of masking will do the trick. I really dont know why I should tell anyone (other than the 5 people I already told) I am autistic. It would not help me in anyway.
My self "diagnosis" was after my both kids were tested and affirmed as autistic. The moment I got the explanation of all the tests and all the information I gathered on the Internet confirmed I myself am autistic. It won't change my life but it explained a lot about my life. Officially I have fibromyalgia and PTSD. So in my country I already have the support I need.
Greatings from Flanders.
Parasocially missed you & the vibes here, AutisticAF. Nice to see ya again, love your content, & well, just might take you up on your invite to attend some increased livestreams over the Holidays.
Hey Francine, I haven't gone anywhere - always been here :) it would be great to have you on a stream again soon!
I started identifying as autistic in my mid-twenties after my partner started pointing out stuff. They're a lot more educated on the topic and got evaluated for it as a kid (didn't result in a diagnosis).
My dad has clear signs of autism too, but refuses to acknowledge any. He's told me that I'm normal bcs I'm just like him 😅 self identification helped me lessen a lot of the guilt and shame I've carried.
I just couldn't explain to myself why I got bullied, why people don't react to me in predictable ways, why adapting to work life, managing stimulating environments and self-regulation was hard. Identifying as autistic has made my life so much better, and I now spend more time in environments, where I don't have to mask as hard.
Edit: There's horsey autism 😍 that's definitely me.
Guess who finaly got their official diagnosis today!
You did? Congratulations on the autism! 🎂 🍰 🥳
They all are getting offended by and are rejecting the idea of someone labeling themselves. But we were labeled by others our whole lives: lazy, awkward, shy, stupid, childish, not trying hard enough, being too much, drama queen…
I was able to first diagnose myself through Tiktok ( I know, ew! Tiktok), with ADHD, then hEDS, Autism and POTS, all confirmed last year by specialists at 34 years old. Took me about 4 years to figure it all out by doing extensive research.
The only diagnosis I got as a child, was dyscalculia.
My brother is also autistic (diagnosed at 16) and I suspect my father to be autistic as well. My 4 year old daughter will have her assessment soon, too (probably AuDHD like me).
Not being diagnosed was making me a zombie that didn't leave the house for 20+ years (half my life), even worse trying to be normal and failing made me ruin my life due to outside pressure, as I kept trying to be normal and people kept blaming anything good in my life for my failures, so every time I tried harder to be normal, it lead to me less able to be normal.
Without self diagnosing, I would be sitting here not typing this comment and waiting to die. Those TikTokers is trying to kill us that is struggling due to not getting diagnosed.
I am 51 years old, and I have self identified as Autistic for a couple of years now. There are so many reasons why, but the study that shows that 50-80% of people with ADHD likely also have autism just clicked with me. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 years old. In 1982 it was practically unheard of that a girl would be diagnosed with ADHD, and as far as I know it was even rarer for a girl to be diagnosed with autism back then. My mother was even told by some of my teachers that there was no way I could have ADHD because only boys had that. And up until a few years ago the DSM 5 didn't allow for a dual diagnosis. Recently that has changed, and dual diagnosis is now accepted. Because of these facts I am fully convinced that I am auDHD. I believe that if I had been a child today I would have been diagnosed with Autism to start with.
I am an 18yo f and have been formally diagnosed with adhd I am currently on a waiting list which could take 2 or 3 years for an autism assessment and I have made changes in my life to better accommodate my needs and i love hearing from other autistics and those who suspect themselves
I mean, I was pretty sure I was autistic before my official diagnosis. That's because I was doing research into it in my senior year of high school, and then went to seek a diagnosis. I was right, and have been learning more about myself and why I do some of the things that I do. It all started because I suspected that i was autistic, and if that isn't a self-diagnosis, I don't know what is.
It's absolute nonsense. I'm formally diagnosed -- but because I wasn't diagnosed as a child, there was a time when I self-diagnosed, in the same way that I have also repeatedly self-diagnosed with things like broken ankles (I fell down a flight of stairs, tried to get up and walk, and went, "crap, I think I've broken my ankle") because even if you have the resources to get a formal diagnosis (I actually didn't, and only got in front of a panel of psychiatrists through a series of very lucky quirks of fate) **there still has to be a point where you think something is up before you go and get help**
Also, given how hard it is to get a diagnosis (I've got a whole saga myself, where despite being British and therefore relatively fortunate, I went around the process three times without seeing a psychiatrist or any medical professional over the course of 12 years before being lucky enough to go private) I don't understand why anyone would have a problem with self-diagnosis.
(And for the avoidance of doubt, I didn't get told I wasn't Autistic and just get straight back on the waiting list until I got the answer I wanted, I got bounced off the list three times due to administrative things that weren't my fault, and because by the third time, it had taken so long that some of the people who were my contributors to the stupid "what was he like as a kid" questionnaire had died).
As someone who was diagnosed with adhd at 8 and only autisems at 27 it was a big relief and in the 2 years after I was diagnosed I have Ben able to make so mutch more progres then I have the past 20 years. When you find out what it is that need to changes and why you seemingly can't be I school or forme "normal friendships" I was so happe to findly have a reson why I was feeling like I was.
I feel it’s a difference between hierarchical thinking and egalitarian thinking (roughly). Hierarchical thinkers really really like that there are humans that are “ranked” above them, and below them. The idea that a medical doctor, with years of expensive training, is ranked above many people in society sits well with them. And therefore lower ranked people need the approval of these higher ranked people to come to any sort of label. If you’re a lower ranked common person then you don’t have the social capital to know your own mind. Conversely, egalitarian thinkers see everyone as being on a level playing field in terms of inherent worth to society. Egalitarian thinkers see no problem with others putting their own labels on themselves. It’s not threatening. (But this is all just based on my 50-something years of like experience, not any sort of research 😊)
“Come to think of it… how do they think autism spreads?” This made me laugh so hard.