Narcissistic Parent Pain Management Strategies
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 มิ.ย. 2024
- Cope with your BPD symptoms using my BPD Card Deck: The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
shorturl.at/bxB05
In this video we'll delve into the topic of handling the pain from a parent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Additionally, we'll explore the concept of gaslighting and examine various effective strategies for dealing with such individuals. If you're someone who grew up with an NPD parent, this video is tailored specifically for you. We'll address the perplexity that often accompanies having an NPD parent and provide valuable guidance on navigating this challenging situation. Moreover, I'll share practical approaches to cope with an NPD parent while ensuring the well-being of your child within a toxic environment.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
rb.gy/hdyqyy
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2anv8dww
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
TH-cam: / @drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Videos edited by Emil Christopher: emilchristopheredits@gmail.com
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
00:00 Introduction
01:55 Strategy to keep yourself safe
02:32 gaslighting
03:34 Externalizing your value
04:12 When pain is part of yourself
04:24 Strategies for children of NPD parents
05:19 Setting good boundaries
07:55 Don't friend down
10:03 Know your worth
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What do you do when your parents don’t respect your boundaries? like saying something that they know would trigger you, then blame you for being defensive about it
Stop giving them emotional reactions because they feed off of it, it helps to learn to not take what they say and do personally. It's harder because it's your parents but you can do it. and you have to be strict in your boundaries.
I used to call it the rubber suit when I was married to my ex-husband. I would tell him I was putting on the rubber suit and that nothing he could say was going to stick because it would bounce off. I wish I could put the same, insulated rubber suit on when it comes to my mother. I haven't spoken to her in over 3 years and she lives in another state, yet she still finds ways from a distance, to shoot arrows from the bow, and just when I think it's going to stop, wham! She gets me again. My nephew's wedding is tomorrow and it's a big, black tie affair, but because I don't speak to her, she has turned the family against me and I have been excluded from the event Yet my daughters have been invited with my ex-husband and the degree of hurt I feel is almost unbearable. I'm glad my daughters were not attached to my exclusion, but inviting my ex-husband was the salt in that wound. Because she still manipulates the puppet strings within the entire family, everyone will go to this wedding and not mention the elephant in the room thinking it's totally normal to be yucking it up and having a great time with my ex-husband, whom everybody hated when we were married. This is her way of teaching me a lesson for not speaking to her.
FLICK OFF!......great tool to put in my repair kit..easy to remember......love it!
Thank you so very much Dr.Fox, this is very helpful, I've hammered your strategies into my head so that I never loose them!
Being brought up in a strict Indian family, we are raised with the notion that our parents are our gods, there are only bad children in the soceity but not bad parents. We can't ever brief against them to anybody as we will be the most disrespectful children ever. People would befriend you and label you as a bad child if you ever sought help for being criticized and being told 'you are less than' by a narcissist parent.
Interesting that narcissists going on a hateful tirade is them more dissociating and expelling their fears. How does this work? When I look back on the narcissististic people I grew up with, that behavior manifested a lot of self-fulfilling prophecies. Fear of *what* exactly?
Comments disappearing on the live, no issue, sometimes they come back, and other times moderators delete them.
That's unfortunate. It's bad enough that a narcissistic parent(s) minimizes the harm they do to their child, then to have others in a mental health care forum delete their experiences only reinforces that kind of abuse.
TH-cam censors me daily by removing my comments. Free speech is no longer.
I heard that, LOL. Dr. Fox your channel is so informative, and you are funny!
Sometimes I recognise myself in the stereotype of destructive, abusive personality disordered woman with BPD. It's like the badness is there but thankfully I don't act on it. Not because I'm a super saint, but I know my capacity to lash out. I don't like that in me. I'm glad I've never had power over anyone. So, the buck stops right here, with me. I'm aware. Self care has led to a better relationship with me and the world around me. Videos like this help me feel like I'm not so bad after all! Taking responsibility for my actions, words, behaviour is easier without the messiness of a relationship or children.
I try to reflect on both the positive and the negative things I experienced in my childhood as I paint something beautiful and meaningful. I analyze the things said to me as a child that built me up as well as those that cut me down. I made a note to myself, not to say those horrid things to my girls but instead talk to them about their actions which I disagree with. I also notice the absence of hugs and attention in my childhood by my mother who is still alive and in her early 80s. She is like a stranger to me, a feeling alien to my two daughters when it comes to me. Focusing on creating something beautiful nourishes my soul. I see people around me wasting a lot of time watching Netflix or Reality TV shows while I make art. I have a lot to show for and it has a positive effect on my self-worth and self-esteem but an opposite effect on them when they realize that time is never coming back.
Love these coping strategies. Thank you.
You're so welcome!
@@DrDanielFox Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start mobbing once again, I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.
Thank you for your videos. I wonder why you don't recommend No contact?
Amazing info , Hope this video can survive for the next 50- 100 years..
I hope so too
Smiles 💞
*Respect ☝️
I like the insulation analogy. I insulated myself in knowing and remembering that Jesus loved me. A form of detachment. And I taught my kids that too. I also taught them to say, 'So what?' AlAnon friends were indeispensable.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! NEVER STOP POSTING..
You got it!
@@DrDanielFox I'm gonna find you one day and hug you so hard! I'm an 18 year old in a narcissistic family dynamic. You've immensely helped me with my bpd to the point where I'm able to see myself (an end of the identity crisis) and also tame the other toxic side of me. I embrace my duality. I find peace in solitude yet a sense of joy in seeking connections. Thank you Doctor for all that you do and remember we'll surely meet some day I promise
😁"Got some Dirt on My Shoulder, Can Ya Brush It Oft For Me" *JayZ
Awesome
Where were you during some type of ritual abuse that affected me very deeply.
HOW do you deal with guilt and continue to set boundaries when a narcissist parent tells you ( if you leave, I will kill myself. )
It can be incredibly difficult to deal with guilt when a narcissist parent manipulates you with threats of self-harm. Remember, your well-being should always come first. Seek support from trusted friends or professionals who can help you navigate this challenging situation.
I feel you, have been there. My father also said he was compelled to kill my mother and it would be my fault if I don't stop him. I gradually just stopped replying to him, because it was too much for me. And he accused me as being a horrible person for treating him that way. I did feel like a horrible person, because he also said how much he loved me and was missing me. What has helped me was processing life as not a splitted black and white, good or bad. It takes time. But the more calm I feel when I'm able to tolerate that I also can have destructive thoughts, and that it's ok, it doesn't mean I'm all bad. And my father was neither. He suffered a lot. I don't know whether this helps. Remember to prioritize your wellbeing, it doesn't help anyone to sacrify oneself in the sake of someone's illness-driven needs.
Do not discuss boundaries with a narc/anti-social person. They don't care and will use it against you. Boundaries are for you not them. You need to train them like a dog (Pavlovian).
How do I find a healthy support system? It seems very hard to get new friends who wants to support me.
Right? At 51 I find it hard enough to meet people at all. Never mind the time it would take to cultivate a relationship where you might trust someone for support. The few people I could count on have all passed on. Tragic to say at only 51
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