I've watched my wife go through this. She cheated 11 years ago and to this very day she has said she isn't a good person. I reassured her she is good. She repeatedly said "No!" I told her to learn about and the why about it as well and be helpful to others who are going down that same road. She liked what I said. It helped
I hear this but don't feel like like i have much left to offer anyone. Thanks, i am sure this video will help people out there. I ruined something great and betrayed the love of my life. Its been so long but she still hates me. Just so tired of everything.
I’m so sorry that it happened and that you did that. I’m sorry for the fallout and all the pain and shame. It will end, there is always faith and purpose. I know.
Feeling the exact same way. I understand all the concepts of forgiveness but I dont think its appropriate for me to even desire having a good relationship in my life in the future after what I did. Why would I deserve happiness? Why would I deserve a good guy? I messed up beyond comprehension, I dont have anything to offer anyone either. Im so remorseful.
Thanks Samuel. Your talk was a great help during these dark times. I will forgive myself and my bad decisions. Looking forward to a future of helping others and living fully
Well I was married 15 years. I had very low self esteem when I got married. Then I had an affair with someone much younger than me, because I felt unloved at home. It was me!! I blew my world , my kids world, apart! 22 years later I still hate myself. The marriage ended, I had a nervous breakdown, tried to end my life. Where is the peace? I can’t forgive myself. My life is so broken. I haven’t dated in 20 years. I’m terrified of being in a relationship. Is this my LIFE! 😢😢😢😢
You are human , we all mess up big time. I feel so much self hatred too for having an emotional affair. I've shattered reality for my wife. I feel like scum everyday too. You're not alone Only God knows why.
Hi Sam. I have watched you and the rest of team for over two years. You guys really do a great job...no doubt. I commend you. I wish I could meet you someday. Love you brother.
My girl was younger. How the hell do I live with the fact I've destroyed her confidence. How do I come to terms with the fact she thinks she was enough for me. She thinks she's ugly and not enough for anyone. Why do I do these things, I wanted to marry her and have her babies and she wanted the same and I just couldn't stop looking around. She won't even talk to me anymore. I'm not going to try because she does not need me keep popping up and making her feel it all over again.
It’s fine if you just leave her alone and let her find someone else, I mean that’s exactly what you did. Is there a reason why you don’t just pursue the person you cheated with?
Thank you Samuel. All videos have been a great treasure of wealth. I pray God's blessings on you and your team! I try to talk, but always I'm afraid of the censure. Like, I'm so cowardly. Idk
Thank you for this, because yeah, that's a tough one. Maybe I missed it, but how far into recovery were you when this happened? I understand that everyone's timeline is different, but are we talking two years or ten?
Because it was an "emotional affair" my spouse does not find that these videos and what you talk about applies to him. He thinks he hasn't done anything wrong, and it cannot be compared to what you are talking about. And he does not like the terms of the "unfaithful", "the betrayed" and less of all the"victim". He wants us to share responsibility and he just could not help it. He has a lot of resentment and still blames me a lot. I don't know how to get through to him. I have forgiven, I have loved unconditionally, I have tried everything, but cannot help the anxiousness and the hurt feelings that he so much hates to see in me, and cannot bare. Sorry for writing so much, but I am desperate, and devastated after two years of this. We are separated and there is a hot-Cold behaviour from him. He cannot let go, but cannot commit.
An an emotional affair is still an affair and is very much just as damaging as a physical one. Of course he is blaming you, thats what they do when they are not remorseful for their crime. It is a crime! The way I see it now, 4 years later is that if you do not see remorse and change of attitude and behavior in him towards you, and willingness to really make an effort to fix what he did and help you guys heal, then he isn't committed to the extent that you are. Knowing what I know now, if I could go back 4 years and do it all over again the day I found my husband at the hotel I would have figured out a way to leave just to get away from him to clear my head and figure out what I want. To see if he would pursue me and make it right. I think the fact that we stay they start to believe that their crime isn't that bad. I know you probably think you truly love this man but if he's not in it to fix it, think of letting him go. I could never let my husband go, not even when I saw him at the hotel. But 4 years of a nightmare with his resistance and no effort, you start to get exhausted. You start to want to be treated right by someone else. Basically what I'm trying to say is don't stay with someone who half loves you. It turns into agonizing pain. Focus on you, healing yourself and moving on to something better meanwhile you are separated. It can be anything! I wish you the best. I hope this can help!
I’m on this video researching affairs because I’m trying to figure out what I may be falling into. I’m a divorced mom of 35, and have been having an emotional affair with my married 31 yo coworker. It started last summer with a collaborative project. We started snapchatting as just friends but he always flirted with me. I always had a little crush on him too, so we started snapping back and forth. Always classy pics, fully clothes, etc. I found out a month later that his wife was in the 3rd trimester. He never told me. We always agreed that our thing was just a fantasy. I was not dating at the time and not looking for romance nor sex. So we did not hang out, I always turned him down out of respect for his wife’s pregnancy (I would have killed anyone who touched my husband while I was pregnant). I kept the relationship as “flirty friends” but we would keep in constant contact. I knew the due date. A couple of weeks before she was due, I ghosted him without notice, and he quickly got the message. About a month after his son was born, we pick up our flirty friendship. We never talk about his relationship with his wife. I honestly don’t want to know. And I think, “why would I care about his relationship with his wife more than he cares about her?”. I have never allowed him to so much as hug me. He knows I have strict physical boundaries, I’ve made that clear. I ghosted him to give him space for his wife’s birth. I gave him that space out of feminine sister consideration, birth is holy, my instincts told me to stay away when I remembered my 3rd trimester. This past December we were constantly texting. The week before Christmas I ghosted him again. This time because I wanted to respect his family’s first Christmas. I’m naturally guilty about all of this. I’ve never romantically talked to a married man before, not even men with girlfriends. This man is of course, different (aren’t they all?). So, in this moment of lucidity, I’m here to research “the other side”. I’ve never been cheated on, so I don’t know how it feels. Personally, I’m non-monogamous and I don’t equate “morality and loyalty and betrayal” with “monogamy”. But I know I’m a tiny fraction of the population, and that’s not how The Betrayed feels. Anyways, I think I really need to talk about this with victims/survivors because I don’t want to do anything I truly regret, like taking it to a physical level. Though we occasionally Snapchat (clothed) and talk as friends (never planning a romantic future), I have always maintained my integrity. But feelings get stronger over time, and I don’t know how long I can put it off. I want to get out now, but I don’t know how, so I feel like talking to actual survivors might help me see the light. Is anyone willing to talk to me about this?
@@77maanno I doubt she’ll answer. Hopefully he left her. If someone has an affair and it’s coined a crime then hopefully one decides to dump the other instead wasting one another’s time drowning in tension and resentment.
As one that has been unfaithful, certain “Ah ha” moments happen, but only when you are looking deep within and taking an emotional inventory. That said, I’m sorry that happened to you and I wish it hadn’t. The was the Betrayed move on out of necessity is incredible. It looks like a survival instinct. I’ll say this and I hope you believe me: These are your emotions and they are real and have purpose. Your job as the Betrayed is to be angry and to be hurt. This is YOUR time to make your own discoveries about yourself for however long it takes.
I’m here because I’m the third party, the Other Woman. We are having an emotional affair with the guise of being “close friends” and have never done anything physically, not even a hug. But I see how this will ultimately end in a burning wreck. I’ve never been cheated on so I don’t know the pain of betrayal. However, I have cheated on partners before (typically one time events as opposed to full blown affairs). I don’t really want to do this, but I feel the pull. Do you have any resources for people like me, who would potentially fall into being an affair partner/3rd party?
proud of you for reaching out. i'm so glad you're trying to get help. this series may help you with understanding how to end an affair and keep it ended: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/ending-an-affair-lock-the-door-part-one i would also consider possibly talking to a professional to help you in safe place, to understand more about why you've done what you've done and how to heal and how to move forward. so proud of you
I am a week into finding ur videos and trying to cut off all communication with my AP. Im having such a HARD time cutting off communication with my co worker. Im a flight attendant and hes a pilot at my airline. I feel soooo much despair having to let him go completely. I wish i was angry at my AP, but i still miss him. Hes like the best drug. And when i try to detox him, as soon as i see him, its another hit. Pls help
Hey, I'm the betrayed. My partner is kind of going through the same thing you were two years ago. Any update? Either way, hope you are well, stranger on the internet.
I've watched my wife go through this. She cheated 11 years ago and to this very day she has said she isn't a good person. I reassured her she is good. She repeatedly said "No!" I told her to learn about and the why about it as well and be helpful to others who are going down that same road. She liked what I said. It helped
You're a good husband.
I hear this but don't feel like like i have much left to offer anyone. Thanks, i am sure this video will help people out there. I ruined something great and betrayed the love of my life. Its been so long but she still hates me. Just so tired of everything.
I’m so sorry that it happened and that you did that. I’m sorry for the fallout and all the pain and shame. It will end, there is always faith and purpose. I know.
Feeling the exact same way. I understand all the concepts of forgiveness but I dont think its appropriate for me to even desire having a good relationship in my life in the future after what I did. Why would I deserve happiness? Why would I deserve a good guy? I messed up beyond comprehension, I dont have anything to offer anyone either. Im so remorseful.
@@lilbabytearsI am you. You are me. 😢
Peace to you brother
Same. Except I'm a woman, even worse.
Thanks Samuel. Your talk was a great help during these dark times. I will forgive myself and my bad decisions. Looking forward to a future of helping others and living fully
Well I was married 15 years. I had very low self esteem when I got married. Then I had an affair with someone much younger than me, because I felt unloved at home. It was me!! I blew my world , my kids world, apart! 22 years later I still hate myself. The marriage ended, I had a nervous breakdown, tried to end my life.
Where is the peace? I can’t forgive myself. My life is so broken. I haven’t dated in 20 years. I’m terrified of being in a relationship.
Is this my LIFE! 😢😢😢😢
You are human , we all mess up big time.
I feel so much self hatred too for having an emotional affair. I've shattered reality for my wife. I feel like scum everyday too. You're not alone
Only God knows why.
Thank you, needed to hear that.... that’s what I want to do is help people that are in same situation as me and be unfaithful.... god bless 🙏🏻
Hi Sam. I have watched you and the rest of team for over two years. You guys really do a great job...no doubt. I commend you. I wish I could meet you someday. Love you brother.
thank you my friend. means a ton. so glad I could be of help and support.
God bless this channel Forever! 🙏😢
My girl was younger. How the hell do I live with the fact I've destroyed her confidence. How do I come to terms with the fact she thinks she was enough for me.
She thinks she's ugly and not enough for anyone.
Why do I do these things, I wanted to marry her and have her babies and she wanted the same and I just couldn't stop looking around.
She won't even talk to me anymore. I'm not going to try because she does not need me keep popping up and making her feel it all over again.
It hurts doesn't it. Sigh, signing up to the gym. Stay distracted
It’s fine if you just leave her alone and let her find someone else, I mean that’s exactly what you did. Is there a reason why you don’t just pursue the person you cheated with?
Are you doing better?
Thank you Samuel. All videos have been a great treasure of wealth. I pray God's blessings on you and your team! I try to talk, but always I'm afraid of the censure. Like, I'm so cowardly. Idk
Thank you for this, because yeah, that's a tough one. Maybe I missed it, but how far into recovery were you when this happened? I understand that everyone's timeline is different, but are we talking two years or ten?
took a few years to have that clarity and took a ton of personal work.
I feel horrible after another relapse 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i feel horrible
I am so sorry, I know the pain.
Because it was an "emotional affair" my spouse does not find that these videos and what you talk about applies to him. He thinks he hasn't done anything wrong, and it cannot be compared to what you are talking about. And he does not like the terms of the "unfaithful", "the betrayed" and less of all the"victim". He wants us to share responsibility and he just could not help it. He has a lot of resentment and still blames me a lot. I don't know how to get through to him. I have forgiven, I have loved unconditionally, I have tried everything, but cannot help the anxiousness and the hurt feelings that he so much hates to see in me, and cannot bare. Sorry for writing so much, but I am desperate, and devastated after two years of this. We are separated and there is a hot-Cold behaviour from him. He cannot let go, but cannot commit.
An an emotional affair is still an affair and is very much just as damaging as a physical one. Of course he is blaming you, thats what they do when they are not remorseful for their crime. It is a crime! The way I see it now, 4 years later is that if you do not see remorse and change of attitude and behavior in him towards you, and willingness to really make an effort to fix what he did and help you guys heal, then he isn't committed to the extent that you are. Knowing what I know now, if I could go back 4 years and do it all over again the day I found my husband at the hotel I would have figured out a way to leave just to get away from him to clear my head and figure out what I want. To see if he would pursue me and make it right. I think the fact that we stay they start to believe that their crime isn't that bad. I know you probably think you truly love this man but if he's not in it to fix it, think of letting him go. I could never let my husband go, not even when I saw him at the hotel. But 4 years of a nightmare with his resistance and no effort, you start to get exhausted. You start to want to be treated right by someone else. Basically what I'm trying to say is don't stay with someone who half loves you. It turns into agonizing pain. Focus on you, healing yourself and moving on to something better meanwhile you are separated. It can be anything! I wish you the best. I hope this can help!
@@sexycatlady17 thank you so much for taking your time to answer. Did you leave eventually? Or did he finally come around?
I’m on this video researching affairs because I’m trying to figure out what I may be falling into. I’m a divorced mom of 35, and have been having an emotional affair with my married 31 yo coworker. It started last summer with a collaborative project. We started snapchatting as just friends but he always flirted with me. I always had a little crush on him too, so we started snapping back and forth. Always classy pics, fully clothes, etc. I found out a month later that his wife was in the 3rd trimester. He never told me. We always agreed that our thing was just a fantasy. I was not dating at the time and not looking for romance nor sex. So we did not hang out, I always turned him down out of respect for his wife’s pregnancy (I would have killed anyone who touched my husband while I was pregnant). I kept the relationship as “flirty friends” but we would keep in constant contact. I knew the due date. A couple of weeks before she was due, I ghosted him without notice, and he quickly got the message. About a month after his son was born, we pick up our flirty friendship.
We never talk about his relationship with his wife. I honestly don’t want to know. And I think, “why would I care about his relationship with his wife more than he cares about her?”.
I have never allowed him to so much as hug me. He knows I have strict physical boundaries, I’ve made that clear. I ghosted him to give him space for his wife’s birth. I gave him that space out of feminine sister consideration, birth is holy, my instincts told me to stay away when I remembered my 3rd trimester. This past December we were constantly texting. The week before Christmas I ghosted him again. This time because I wanted to respect his family’s first Christmas.
I’m naturally guilty about all of this. I’ve never romantically talked to a married man before, not even men with girlfriends. This man is of course, different (aren’t they all?). So, in this moment of lucidity, I’m here to research “the other side”. I’ve never been cheated on, so I don’t know how it feels. Personally, I’m non-monogamous and I don’t equate “morality and loyalty and betrayal” with “monogamy”. But I know I’m a tiny fraction of the population, and that’s not how The Betrayed feels.
Anyways, I think I really need to talk about this with victims/survivors because I don’t want to do anything I truly regret, like taking it to a physical level. Though we occasionally Snapchat (clothed) and talk as friends (never planning a romantic future), I have always maintained my integrity. But feelings get stronger over time, and I don’t know how long I can put it off. I want to get out now, but I don’t know how, so I feel like talking to actual survivors might help me see the light.
Is anyone willing to talk to me about this?
@@77maanno I doubt she’ll answer. Hopefully he left her. If someone has an affair and it’s coined a crime then hopefully one decides to dump the other instead wasting one another’s time drowning in tension and resentment.
As one that has been unfaithful, certain “Ah ha” moments happen, but only when you are looking deep within and taking an emotional inventory. That said, I’m sorry that happened to you and I wish it hadn’t. The was the Betrayed move on out of necessity is incredible. It looks like a survival instinct. I’ll say this and I hope you believe me: These are your emotions and they are real and have purpose. Your job as the Betrayed is to be angry and to be hurt. This is YOUR time to make your own discoveries about yourself for however long it takes.
Thank you
Please forgive me😭
I’m here because I’m the third party, the Other Woman. We are having an emotional affair with the guise of being “close friends” and have never done anything physically, not even a hug. But I see how this will ultimately end in a burning wreck.
I’ve never been cheated on so I don’t know the pain of betrayal. However, I have cheated on partners before (typically one time events as opposed to full blown affairs).
I don’t really want to do this, but I feel the pull. Do you have any resources for people like me, who would potentially fall into being an affair partner/3rd party?
proud of you for reaching out. i'm so glad you're trying to get help. this series may help you with understanding how to end an affair and keep it ended: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/ending-an-affair-lock-the-door-part-one i would also consider possibly talking to a professional to help you in safe place, to understand more about why you've done what you've done and how to heal and how to move forward. so proud of you
I forgive you.
I am a week into finding ur videos and trying to cut off all communication with my AP. Im having such a HARD time cutting off communication with my co worker. Im a flight attendant and hes a pilot at my airline. I feel soooo much despair having to let him go completely. I wish i was angry at my AP, but i still miss him. Hes like the best drug. And when i try to detox him, as soon as i see him, its another hit. Pls help
Hey, I'm the betrayed. My partner is kind of going through the same thing you were two years ago. Any update? Either way, hope you are well, stranger on the internet.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭