12 Ways to Write Better Sentences for Creative Writers

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 มิ.ย. 2024
  • 12 Tips for Writing Better Sentences as a Creative Writer:
    1. Avoid confusingly complex sentences
    2. Set the Tone with word choices
    3. Avoid passive voice
    4. Remove Filtering
    5. Set the pace with sentence length
    6. Avoid body parts taking action
    7. Reduce "was -ing" construction
    8. Keep the wording natural
    9. Cut unnecessary similes
    10. Use vocabulary level strategically
    11. Avoid starting actions
    12. Cut out unnecessary words
    The Hemmingway Editor: hemingwayapp.com/
    Help support the channel on Patreon: / ellenbrock
  • แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต

ความคิดเห็น • 883

  • @aderftard
    @aderftard ปีที่แล้ว +455

    I'm an older man who grew up reading mostly 19th century authors. I've struggled to understand why my writing voice felt so unnatural and formal. Your tips opened my eyes. Thank you.

    • @muhammadsaqibbinbashir1
      @muhammadsaqibbinbashir1 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Same

    • @alexv259
      @alexv259 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      From personal experience, having once or twice magic mushroom “trip” greatly helps to make a speedy mental transfer into the new century.

    • @maryk5375
      @maryk5375 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Same! read almost entirely pre-20th century authors for the first 20 years of my life, now finding it quite difficult to break out of the wordy, overly formal style.

    • @saorihirai4492
      @saorihirai4492 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      but why do we have to avoid this?@@maryk5375

    • @mickeyaugrec7560
      @mickeyaugrec7560 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Hah! I was [remain] a Henry James enthusiast - understand the problem. Reading contemporary plays (especially Mamet) cured me. Hemingway's work trains sentence structure too [I've never heard of the Hemingway editor / app]. Great vlog Ellen Brock!

  • @j3551kuh
    @j3551kuh ปีที่แล้ว +80

    "When in doubt, cut it out" is a motto that has saved me more times than I'd like to admit. If I re-read my work and feel that a sentence is too complex, I cut it out and rewrite it in a simpler way.

    • @icmull
      @icmull 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I tried this with my bad sentences. Ended up with a blank page.

  • @Ibel.lagos.
    @Ibel.lagos. 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +117

    I don't understand almost anything you say but I try to watch your videos almost every day to learn English. I send you a virtual hug from Argentina ♥

    • @venus9312
      @venus9312 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I live in America. The country is so large, many places only have English speakers for hundreds of miles. I live in one of those places. Learning a new language is something I really want to do, and seeing someone learn my language inspires me! Good luck! :)

    • @williammcenaney1331
      @williammcenaney1331 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You write well.

  • @MST3Killa
    @MST3Killa ปีที่แล้ว +389

    The filtering aspect is one I always struggle with and something I have to edit out later (when I remember to).

    • @Yak1312
      @Yak1312 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Thankfully that’s what drafts are for.

    • @Terik17
      @Terik17 ปีที่แล้ว

      me too because the narrator isn't necessarily narrating only the main character's POV, so when it's a direct thought the MC has, i like to point it out

    • @MST3Killa
      @MST3Killa ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Terik17 That's a tricky balance to strike that doesn't get talked about much. More literary works really don't have much of the character's direct POV and the more genre stories are much heavier in it. I find amateurs tend to use character POV narration far too heavily.
      MC direct thoughts are something I used to use way too much and had to minimize. It's not a bad thing, but it doesn't play well for readers in most instances unless the story is really focused in that way.

    • @dgage1776
      @dgage1776 ปีที่แล้ว

      Because the mind thinks in filters

    • @dgage1776
      @dgage1776 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MST3Killa So you write your stories with actions mostly? Actions, descriptions, and dialog mainly?

  • @nolancapps8654
    @nolancapps8654 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    Love the tip about avoiding unnecessarily complex sentences. It's easy to write a bad sentence if you force that sentence to do too much

  • @windguardien
    @windguardien ปีที่แล้ว +841

    In all my years writing and consuming writing content, never have I heard passive vs active voice explained so succinctly. Maybe I have, but it finally made sense where as every other explanation had failed.
    "Is the subject performing the action?"
    It's so good.
    Thank you as always for your great work.

    • @EllenBrock
      @EllenBrock  ปีที่แล้ว +51

      So glad the video helped!

    • @KanadaJin
      @KanadaJin ปีที่แล้ว +96

      A funny tip that helps me identify it is to add 'by zombies' at the end of the sentence. If it makes grammatical sense, it's passive voice. 'the kettle was poured...by zombies'. Vs. X poured the kettle. Adding 'X poured the kettle... by zombies' doesn't make any sense.
      I think I found this tip on Reddit and it's helped me a few times now.

    • @EllenBrock
      @EllenBrock  ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Cool! Thanks for sharing!

    • @syedarizvi7290
      @syedarizvi7290 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@KanadaJin oh thank you so much! that actually helps a lot! Haha and it's kind of cute as well

    • @syedarizvi7290
      @syedarizvi7290 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@EllenBrock thank you very much, this video was indeed really helpful and I will come back to it!

  • @jacobkennedy1009
    @jacobkennedy1009 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    Giving examples after every suggestion was the best choice you made in this video. It made a significant difference for me. I'm dyslexic and I'm trying to improve my writing ability as I tend to write on the messy side. This was excellent and thank you doesn't feel enough!

    • @KingSiik
      @KingSiik ปีที่แล้ว

      ........

  • @Thesilverninja
    @Thesilverninja ปีที่แล้ว +411

    Guilty of all 12.
    It took me over 10 years to break most of these habits, but old habits die hard.
    What I've found useful is whenever I use a starting action, like in the example you shared: "Elizabeth started to laugh." I find a starting action helps when you want to have it interrupted by a character.
    "Elizabeth started to laugh... until John gave her a death stare. Then it wasn't funny."
    I also wholeheartedly agree on cutting unnecessary words. In one sentence it's not a big deal and is easily forgivable. In a 90,000 page novel the work feels bloated for no reason. If a word is going to be included, it should be a detail with a specific purpose.
    When I had to write a tribute to someone who had passed, I used a sentence: "And taught her daughter how to calculate sales prices at Dunham's."
    I could have just said and "calculate sales prices." The sentence can survive on its own.
    But I added Dunham's so the people local to the area might remember the time period when that store existed. I would have left Dunham's out if it had been a generic chain like Wal Mart. But because this particular Dunham's was a specific store during a specific time period, I added the detail for those who remembered the store.
    Since I manage a website, I also found using a plugin called Yoast SEO helped improve my writing significantly because it has tools to identify passive voice and wordy sentences. It's mainly geared towards marketing articles and website traffic, but I find it's also useful for improving your own writing style when you force yourself to be more concise.
    Great video, I also love the graphic and font selection. Very easy to read and extremely educational.

    • @lafonevc5663
      @lafonevc5663 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      You may want to look up the word concise.

    • @TheInfamousBertman
      @TheInfamousBertman ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yikes. I was just about to comment that instead of "creative writers" this title should say "novice writers", as these tips are all very basic.

    • @TNcFlipbook
      @TNcFlipbook ปีที่แล้ว

      ❤❤

  • @xChikyx
    @xChikyx ปีที่แล้ว +257

    As a not native english speaker, -ing verbs vs the past conjugation of the same have total different meaning.
    "She was walking" is she doing the action.
    "She walked" is already finished.
    Also, as someone with pretty high aphantasia, I think I experience the writing and reading completely different as someone that can visualize normally:
    "Yes," she said, walking. //
    She walked. "Yes." //
    "Yes." She walked. //
    Each is 100% different to me.

    • @alexengland-shinemercy
      @alexengland-shinemercy ปีที่แล้ว +57

      From an applied linguist's/ language teacher's perspective": I agree with you completely. Those constructions are the simple and progressive aspects and indicate actions either being habitual (simple) or unfinished (progressive).
      The simple aspect (I write) is also often used in narrative writing for actions happening in the narrative's "now", for example "I put my teacup down and pick up my pen". It's one of the peculiarities of narrative tenses.

    • @xChikyx
      @xChikyx ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@alexengland-shinemercy thanks! I thought it was just me 🙌🏻

    • @Hello-hello-hello456
      @Hello-hello-hello456 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      From someone with vivid imagination, yes, all those 3 are different to me. I think it has less to do with visualising it and more to do with breaking down the action in a detailed way.

    • @angelbear_og
      @angelbear_og ปีที่แล้ว +31

      In English, the phrase "was walking" ALSO describes something that occurred IN THE PAST: "was" is past-tense. Definition: "first and third person singular past indicative of be". So in third person narrative it is infinitely better to use the *active* verb "walked" than the *passive* "was walking" in probably at least 99% of cases.

    • @opchild
      @opchild ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Walking is not the past tense verb in your first example, "was" is, but they are both past tense meaning you can just write the simpler sentence. Lots of readers will have a harder time visualizing the world when you use filter words like "was" instead of just writing what's happened in the story

  • @chdurant
    @chdurant หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I’am a Peruvian filmmaker and scriptwriter. I have started to write a novel picking up a script of mine. I am going thru hell. You can’t imagen dear Ellen how useful and illustrative your videos are!! I thank you so much!!

  • @gregoryleonwatson8631
    @gregoryleonwatson8631 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Hey, ☺️ great topic.
    I'm reminded of high school English. We had a week of precise writing.
    In this exercise we wrote a paragraph. Then we made the paragraph shorter and more precise. After, we shortened the sentence a second time, without leaving dangling modifiers.
    🤔 I still use precise writing skills, in the Internet age. I keep my sentence tight ✨
    Cheers 🎉

  • @johnathanrhoades7751
    @johnathanrhoades7751 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Passive voice has been a struggle for years. A whole editing pass is needed to get that out of my writing…🙃
    You can also hit “smelled” and “tasted” with other verbs. “The stench of aged garbage assaulted Jim as he rounded the alley corner” or “the luxurious sweetness of the berry juice coated Joira’s mouth. It lingered. A moment later, but a moment too late, Joira noticed the background bitterness of the arsenic.”

  • @unicornthemfatale
    @unicornthemfatale 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    I truly appreciate how clear your examples are. A lot of writing advice doesn't come with clear examples or information on how to improve specifically, but your advice is fantastic!

  • @Katranga
    @Katranga ปีที่แล้ว +106

    i've been removing filter words for a years now and it's SUCH an incredible way to strengthen the connection to the character's POV. another tip would be removing "filler" type words like just, really, very, kind of, etc. or whatever kind of common word you use a lot that could be removed for the same meaning, or replaced with a more specific word. i never considered how vocab choice could change the reading speed, that's very cool! also i found your example sentence "he ran across the yard like a soccer player running for the ball" very funny for some reason. thanks for another great video!

    • @jenniferressmannwriter
      @jenniferressmannwriter ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I often try to remove very and really and I just can't!

    • @rienn8559
      @rienn8559 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      i like using really tho. especially when im writing from the point of view of a young character. i feel like thats closer to how they speak.

    • @megbennett107
      @megbennett107 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can you give some examples of removing filter words from first person POV? Please :) I struggle with just changing "I" to "my"

    • @Katranga
      @Katranga ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ​@@megbennett107 filter words are extra verbs like thinks/wonders/sees/looks/feels etc that add an extra layer between what the character is experiencing, making it feel less immediate to the reader. ex. "I see him walk outside." without filter words, it's "He walks outside." or "I hear music playing" turns into "Music fills the room." or instead of "I think that my mom's gonna be mad if I'm late." you can write "My mom's gonna be mad if I'm late." or even better "My mom's gonna kill me if I'm late again." a lot of the time, we don't need to be told that the character is experiencing a sense or a feeling--just write the experience, without the filter of narration. hope that helps!

    • @megbennett107
      @megbennett107 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Katranga thank you so much! So if I understand correctly, filtering refers to more verbs of the senses, so if I said "I stood on the sidewalk" I wouldn't necessarily need to filter it to "The sidewalk was under me"? I have a habit of changing "I" to "my" when I try to filter, but is filtering used for sentences with actions in them too or mostly just feelings/senses? Thank you, Kat!!!

  • @stet_
    @stet_ ปีที่แล้ว +343

    Excellent rundown. Professional (nonfiction) editor myself and I'm still guilty of some of these.
    A tip I've given some of the writers I work with (especially ESL): If you're worried a sentence is getting into run-on territory, read it out loud under your breath at a normal pace. If you find yourself wheezing by the end, split the sentence roughly where you started running out of breath. Punctuation is meant to replicate on paper the pauses we naturally take when speaking.
    Also, could I possibly request a video about how to jot down the first page or two of a novel? Not just the opening plot beat, but literally the first few hundred words. Do you have any advice as to how to get past those first few paragraphs/how to make them count?

    • @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM
      @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM ปีที่แล้ว

      🎁👆 Thanks for watching.. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

    • @Terik17
      @Terik17 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      nice tip :)

    • @jenniferressmannwriter
      @jenniferressmannwriter ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Great process for a run-on sentence! Maybe you could write the beginning later in your writing process. Some recommend this for content blog writing.

    • @TNcFlipbook
      @TNcFlipbook ปีที่แล้ว

      ❤❤

    • @foxonfire7
      @foxonfire7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I am a begginer so take this with a gracious grain of salt but i can give you a technice that worked for me with writing chapters and filling that dreaded blank page.
      Set a timer for 5-15 minutes and write without a paus untill it rings. Dont pay attention to finding the right word repetition or using cliche similies or anything like that, just write. I find that once you have something in front of you it becomes much easier to write. If you write something later in the chapter that you think would work better you can always change it later.
      This only works if you alredy have a vague idea about what do you want to have happen in that chapter and it can be hard jumping straigh into it. I usualy go for a walk and listen to music befor doing this because that helps me relax and get into the mood for writting.
      I hope i could help. Have a great day.

  • @maryhopper7228
    @maryhopper7228 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Passive voice can be really useful for creating tension, subtext or being efficient with words, particularly when it leaves out the person doing the action altogether. This can be because we don't know who did something: 'The jewels were stolen sometime before dawn.'
    Or don't want to say (eg avoiding blame): 'Dad, your favourite mug got broken!'
    Or we're building suspense: 'The door had been left ajar. Voices were hushed as she called out, "Hello?".
    Or it's just not necessary to say who did it: 'The house was painted a flat, dismal grey that matched the rain-filled sky.'
    It's a really powerful tool that we often don't notice we're using, so not always bad or a 'no'. 🙂

    • @takebacktheholyland9306
      @takebacktheholyland9306 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yeah I think we're forgetting to emphasize that despite avoiding these techniques, we shouldn't necessarily remove them all together.

    • @thethmooteresa
      @thethmooteresa 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Absolutely 🎉❤ know the rules, to break them when you want to 😊

  • @juliegolick
    @juliegolick ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Why have I never heard of Hemmingway Editor before?! This is gold! Thanks for the recommendation, and for all your tips! They're things that I (generally) knew already, but sometimes forget in the heat of writing. Definitely a great guide for what should be on a sentence-level "cheat sheet" for an editing pass.

    • @EVETSTAOLS
      @EVETSTAOLS ปีที่แล้ว

      Also check out Grammarly and Pro-Writing Aid. All three are very good on-line editing apps, which come with free versions. I use all of them at times, for different 'looks'.

  • @drmichaelshea
    @drmichaelshea ปีที่แล้ว +5

    During the early years of my education, I was embarrassed by my writing, but as I matured and became less sensitive, I learned to read what I had written out loud. That made all the difference, and many errors were avoided.

    • @RadioJonophone
      @RadioJonophone ปีที่แล้ว

      I was embarrassed by my writing at first but later read my writing out loud. By that one act I avoided many errors. - There, that's better. Reduce redundancy and use the active voice.

  • @The0ldBat
    @The0ldBat ปีที่แล้ว +87

    I follow most of these tips already, but I've never considered my use of -ing words. A glance at the first few pages of my latest story, made me realize I can do better. Thank you, Ellen! A great video with excellent examples as always.

  • @ulla7378
    @ulla7378 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I also feel (hehehe), that in case of filtering, removing the "unnecessary" ones can help adding weight to the places where you do want to use "felt", "saw" or "realized" etc because the feeling or realizing was the relevant part. If every other sentence is dotted with the filtering words, then there is no difference.

    • @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM
      @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM ปีที่แล้ว

      🎁👆 Thanks for watching. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

  • @JohnDlugosz
    @JohnDlugosz ปีที่แล้ว +78

    21:30 I'd like to add something about Vocabulary that I learned on test readings.
    Using a term correctly can lead to confusion if the reader doesn't have the same understanding of that word.
    It's interesting that now it's trivial to look up unfamiliar words immediately, before going on with the next sentence. When I first read the original Sherlock Holmes stories, I wrote down words to look up later. Now, reading on a tablet or e-paper reader, I can point to a word and get a definition (or translation) instantly. This should remove the barrier toward using a higher vocabulary or highly specific terminology, pushing some readers to learn, and not talking down to those already more familiar with the subject.

    • @Sylfa
      @Sylfa ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Yes, and some writers seem to be doing that on purpose, putting one or two rarer words in a chapter instead of using the simpler word that means the same thing.
      But you really need to be careful about that, I've also seen writers putting in lots of rare words in a chapter, like one or two per sentence. And at that point, you get so pulled out of the story that you feel you might as well read a text book, it'd be both more efficient and enjoyable.
      I gave up on chapter one of a story for a similar reason, every item mentioned was described by brand name instead of what it was. I'm not a wine connoisseur, nor do I know high fashion, and so on. Having to choose between looking up every new brand or just guessing what is inside a cabinet when it's written as "a Lenox Madeira." It's the same problem but with brand-awareness instead.

    • @writerinfact1768
      @writerinfact1768 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I usually resort to my dictionaries because the writer used what appears to be the wrong word, according to the context. But maybe it was meant that way, which leads me to read other writers' work instead of patronizing the same would-be author.

  • @Kohi_of_Greed
    @Kohi_of_Greed 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    This is, without a doubt, the best writing tips video I've seen so far. I've seen dozens, perhaps hundreds at this point. And yet, this has proposed a set of simple, common, and fatal issues and mistakes, then presented a coherent explanation and provided fluid examples. Thank you very much!

  • @cjpreach
    @cjpreach ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This video would be a great addition to most Jr/Sr High writing classes. Well done, Ellen.

  • @DoctorTurdmidget
    @DoctorTurdmidget ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You done teached me to write sentences more goodly. Thankings be to you.

  • @Hermit_mouse
    @Hermit_mouse ปีที่แล้ว +99

    If “disconsolate” is a ninth grade word I’m in big trouble.

    • @MartialartzzObsessedGlader
      @MartialartzzObsessedGlader หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Yep, same 😃🤧

    • @georgiafrancis9059
      @georgiafrancis9059 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      It's not, really.....not a word to use.....keep it simple for easier reading....depending upon your story, of course.

  • @dearcali
    @dearcali ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This is so helpful as someone who never studied the technicalities of writing before. Thanks so much, these tips are amazing!

    • @EllenBrock
      @EllenBrock  ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm so glad you found the video helpful!

  • @Thessalin
    @Thessalin ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Ellen, as always, you are super helpful. I hadn't thought filter words were that deep. Now I'm looking at my own writing going "Uh oh!" Thank you for real in depth writing advice.

  • @EllenBrock
    @EllenBrock  ปีที่แล้ว +115

    Hi guys! I forgot to wait for the HD to finish processing before I published the video, so if it looks blurry to you, just wait about a half hour before watching.
    Also, typo at 16:48. It should be "set" not "sat." Sorry! I checked my cards a dozen times, but I always manage to miss something. Dang long covid brain fog!
    Thanks for watching and for your support!

    • @The0ldBat
      @The0ldBat ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The content can't be delayed. Blurry or not!

    • @kimlaffont9951
      @kimlaffont9951 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So very helpful to go through all of your tips and videos. Editing is hard work.

    • @Thessalin
      @Thessalin ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No worries! You take care!

    • @Villain2007
      @Villain2007 ปีที่แล้ว

      Another brilliant, essential video. Thank you 😊

    • @thedude110
      @thedude110 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      #13: watch out for typos! :)

  • @xoieveck9505
    @xoieveck9505 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I had no idea that filtering was called filtering XD
    Thank you so much for explaining this!!! I didn’t understand why my story didn’t sound as immersive. I finally understand that I have to remove the character feeling these things to just having these things exist on their own for the character and reader to feel!!!

  • @jomo999
    @jomo999 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I never even realised how much filtering I was subconsciously putting into my writing, until I watched this. A real Eureka moment, this will help bigtime with my redrafting, thank you!

  • @crystinapierce6833
    @crystinapierce6833 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I love the way you explained passive vs active voice. I knew what it meant but it never clicked until now. Now I want to go back to my old works and see if I can make them better using active voice.
    Your videos are so helpful! Thank you!

    • @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM
      @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM ปีที่แล้ว

      🎁👆 Thanks for watching. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

  • @bijornswordraise2916
    @bijornswordraise2916 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This video definitely made me rethinking about how I have been writing my sentences. I appreciate how Ellen was able to give examples of strong sentences vs weak sentences.

  • @jerrymonk7012
    @jerrymonk7012 ปีที่แล้ว

    The examples are so helpful. They take the point out of the abstract and make it concrete and more easily understandable. Wish all writing advice was like this.

  • @Miluriel
    @Miluriel ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you so much for all your help this year! ⛄️

    • @EllenBrock
      @EllenBrock  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are so welcome! Thank you for your support! It's much appreciated!

  • @byzoemay
    @byzoemay ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Your ability to relay information quickly and straight to the point, while also being super thorough is something I am so thankful for! Thank you for sharing these amazing tips that are most definitely helping so many authors achieve their dreams of writing and publishing one day!!

  • @radamrussell
    @radamrussell ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Two writing/journalism professors influenced me more than the others. My least favorite teacher in college had a rule prohibiting auxiliary verbs: Am, is, are, was and were, being, been, and be, have, has, had, do, does, did, will, would, shall and should, et al. They are so easy to use, and a difficult habit to break. Some are hard to write around, but 99% of the time, they sound better when you do: My least favorite teacher in college relentlessly prohibited auxiliary verbs. The incessant correction stung. I absolutely despised the woman at the time, but she undoubtedly influenced and improved my writing.

  • @pinkywinky237
    @pinkywinky237 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I'm glad you mentioned filtering in this video. I use filtering a lot in my writing, but I never knew there was a name for it! These tips for avoiding filtering were very useful to me! I think we as writers tend to underestimate how smart our readers are! I, personally, find the need to add on those extra words to clarify, but if you think of yourself reading something with fresh eyes, you can infer many things without the add-ons included. Thanks for the video!

  • @brittanyash8340
    @brittanyash8340 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much for your videos! I'm writing more of a mindset and how-to book to help people begin homesteading, but I'm reviewing my communication and how I deliver a message.
    I can be spunky and firey, and I want to convey my personality without burning or scaring off my audience. Ultimately, I want my message to be received, and your videos are helping me to refine my style of communication.
    I appreciate you!

  • @jamesaritchie1
    @jamesaritchie1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I spent thirty years earning a living as a creative writer, though most of what I wrote was behind the scenes ghosting for a publisher, or using a double pseudonym. But I sold five novels under my own name, and close to a hundred short stories. Funny, but selling short stories to paying magazines is harder than selling a novel. I had to stop about twenty years ago because it's tough to write when you're in a coma, and have a wrecked body. I came out of the coma, but it took so long to make my body work again, and to be able to sit down and think through the pain that I decided it was time to stop.
    But I do know your advice is excellent. I would note that while such programs as Hemingway can be helpful, they will not produce good, publishable writing. A writer should never blindly follow any program I've tested. Or blindly follow and grammar check program. Perfect grammar and perfect punctuation does not mean good writing.
    Story comes first. A good story is essential. But character, dialogue, and description are the things that make a story good. Plot and story are not the same thing, but too many new writers don't understand this. Many, many top writers never plot, never outline, yet they tell a great story.
    I also worked as an editor now and then, most often helping an editor friend whittle a slush pile down to size. Another thing new writers probably don't know is that not all agents are created equal, and editors do not automatically treat what they receive from different agents the same way. Some agent seldom send anything that isn't very good, even if it isn't quite right for a given publisher. These agents build a reputation for quality, and editors trust the,
    Other agents, well, not so much. Thier submission are treated like slush because while they occasionally have something worthwhile, you can bet that at least nine out of ten will be very low quality.
    Anyway, one very big mistake new writers make, at least those who want to go through guarded gates of large, traditional publishers, is thinking they have to set the story in some exotic city they've never been to, and don't know how to research.
    I sold a story to Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine called "Wild Strawberries." The POV character is a seventeen-year-old who lives in a tiny farm town of about one hundred people. To cut this short, he murders his pregnant girlfriend, blames it on his best friend, who actually believes he's responsible, and then lives happily ever after. It's told in first person. The editor said she would normally have rejected such a story, but the description was so good that she couldn't pass it up. She even mentions the description in the introductory blurb that introduced the story. The description was so right because I actually grew up in that tiny town.
    No exotic location I'd never visited, just a town in the middle of nowhere that I knew perfectly.
    There's a saying that covers novels and short stories. "Editors want something just like everything else. . .only different." It's true. There's god different, and there's bad different. Good different sells.
    Another story I sold to Ellery Queen was called "The Real West." It's more or less a typical story except for one thing; The POV character is me. I used myself as the protagonist in a crime story. Not many writers do that. I can't remember seeing it, though I'm sure it's been done. I believe using myself as the POV character made that particular story ring true. In fact, most of it was true. The ending was fiction, but everything else actually happened. I did this once more in Ellery Queen, and it worked well enough that I sold stories to a few other magazines using this same technique.
    I guess what I'm saying is that for a new writer, what and where and who we know counts for a lot.
    Really do love your advice. Selling fiction takes more than good sentences, of course, but that's always a good place to start.

  • @aesthetic.l
    @aesthetic.l 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have been a Bibliophile since my childhood and to be very honest this was the best decision of my life. I also started writing rather than only reading but at that time TH-cam was not that popular so all i wrote was from whatever i learned by reading. Still i got a 8.5 in IELTS. So instead of making excuses we should try to work everything out.❤

  • @Fortu-nate
    @Fortu-nate ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you Ellen! Especially for the vivid examples and compromised explanations - great video!

  • @PhoenixCrown
    @PhoenixCrown หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks Ellen! You do such a good job of 1) giving "best practices" 2) pointing out specific times where exceptions may apply, and 3) acknowledging that the sound and flow of the writing and what the author wants to accomplish trumps all =)
    Thanks for another informative video!

  • @pamelariomunoz2565
    @pamelariomunoz2565 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Thanks for another great video, Ellen! I can already picture myself coming back to re-watch before line editing sessions. :) Your explanation about how vocabulary level influences pacing was especially helpful! Cheers ❤️

    • @EllenBrock
      @EllenBrock  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm so glad you like the video!

  • @wolfiiu
    @wolfiiu ปีที่แล้ว +3

    passive voice and strong tone words are never something i struggled with, i hardly even had to think about them because they come so naturally, but it literally just hit me that i filter every single thing i write and that’s why it feels so weak. i had no idea. i just think it’s so interesting how everyone struggles with such different little problems :)

  • @katevenhorst1723
    @katevenhorst1723 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you, thank you! This is the most helpful video on writing I’ve ever watched. Your advice is actionable and the examples you provided really helped solidify the concepts you discuss. I’m such a visual learner so it was great to see things laid out so clearly and plainly.

  • @seanengland2060
    @seanengland2060 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Probably one of the very best writing guides I've seen & heard. So precise and succinctly explained with excellent do/don't do examples. Also very, very thorough. Superb Ellen, thank you.

  • @jacindaellison3363
    @jacindaellison3363 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I really love that you use examples when giving tips. I truly enjoyed this video. Thanks a lot!❤

  • @TheAudacityOfHopefulHearts
    @TheAudacityOfHopefulHearts ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I find having the action performed by a body part good for writing sensual moments in my romance/erotica; it's like zooming in with the camera lens in that it's poor to shoot a whole scene that way but being useful for highlighting small touches when you want to, and potentially crucial for building the larger matrix of framing, pacing, and mood.

  • @tomlewis4748
    @tomlewis4748 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The filtering advice makes sense for 3rd-p stories and those that are more plot-driven. The desire is to move the focus slightly more toward the events and slightly more away from the character's experience and the authorial narrator commentary.
    I disagree about 'filtering' when it applies to 1st-P and the story is more character-driven. The desire there is to move the focus more toward the character's experience and a bit away from the events themselves.
    In both situations, the story still gets prime focus, but if we compare 'I saw the tail of a fox sticking out from the brush' with 'The tail of a fox stuck out from the brush', the difference between those two in 1st-P is not at all the same as the difference between them in 3rd-p, as far as the effect they have on the story and the reader experience.
    'Rebecca saw …' is a statement from the author/narrator, who does not play a part in the events at all, so removing a filter word in 3rd-p does make a certain amount of sense, as it can help make the author ego much more invisible, which if not invisible, can distract from the story.
    In 1st-P, the story is about the character's experience, and readers are bonded closer to the protagonist than they are to the story, bc in 1st-P everything is delivered to the reader directly through the protagonist/narrator rather than through the author.
    So what would be considered 'filter' words there actually help keep the focus where we want it-on the character's experience. 'I saw …' is not an 'authorial intrusion', it is directly shown as an experience the character is having, which is the goal. 'The tail of a fox …' in 1st-P only creates more distance between the reader and the protagonist. And in 1st-P, that is NOT the goal.
    The takeaway here is that advice regarding 'filter' words differs in whether it will help your story or actually hurt your story, depending on the POV, the balance between character-driven and plot-driven, and how the story is told. The bottom line is that advice on 'filter' words greatly depends, and simply abhorring them isn't always an automatic improvement. It can actually be a detriment to not use these words for certain ways of writing your story.
    Suggestions and guidelines are fine, but there are no 'rules' that can be applied in a one-size-fits-all fashion to your story. Every single case is an individual judgment call, which applies to all artistic decisions. There are no shortcuts.
    I feel that this is an important concept for a writer to understand, and to NOT blindly assume that 'filter' words are automatically problematic, bc they ARE not.

  • @barbararuiz1525
    @barbararuiz1525 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I just found your channel and I can’t love it more!!! English is not my mother tongue but, anyway, your tips are incredibly helpful and I enjoy listening to your explanations. Thanks so much!!

  • @alyssa.herrin
    @alyssa.herrin 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have never come across filtering as a literary concept but as soon as you explained this is clicked! This has been one of my biggest issues with my own writing I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Thank you!

  • @exploristic987
    @exploristic987 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you! This really helped me to be more aware of some mistakes that I make in my writing. And it is great that you gave specific examples for each one. 👍

  • @ChristiWarner
    @ChristiWarner ปีที่แล้ว

    This was really helpful! The way you explain things so effortlessly and easy to grasp! Active and passive voice! Wow!

  • @jamilkhan715
    @jamilkhan715 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Not from the English speaking world. But the tips hold true for all the printed words.Brevity is the soul of any communication.

  • @yonathanasefaw9001
    @yonathanasefaw9001 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great tips! I need to work on my novel and now I have a clear idea on what makes a great sentence. Thank you Ellen.

  • @baileyab47
    @baileyab47 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    wow this all makes a looot of sense.. thank you for being so gentle in the way you conveyed it too.

  • @marycooney2194
    @marycooney2194 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for another helpful video. I knew some of these but others I haven't heard explained so well.

  • @OliviaMairin
    @OliviaMairin ปีที่แล้ว

    This is possibly the best video I've seen on sentence writing (or even writing in general) Incredible. So helpful, thank you!

  • @roshanrahealer
    @roshanrahealer ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for the examples in your video! Watching this video not only gave me insight, it helped me with the imposter syndrome issues I've had recently. I also loved the differences between third grade and ninth grade novels. The examples hit home better than reading technical editing books. Thanks again!

  • @UncleElvis69
    @UncleElvis69 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I think this is the best video on writing tips I've ever watched! Really helpful and thorough

    • @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM
      @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM ปีที่แล้ว

      🎁👆 Thanks for watching... You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

  • @nataliaaramos
    @nataliaaramos 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Just love this video. From time to time I come here to refresh my memory about those tips! Tks a million!

  • @christianbowlin
    @christianbowlin ปีที่แล้ว

    This was extremely helpful. I’m a newer writer so the in-depth examples and description was Mitch needed. Thank you 🙏

  • @diarts4458
    @diarts4458 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I tried the Hemingway app and found it really useful. I didn’t realize how complex my sentences were and this really helped me tighten them up. The passive voice in one chapter I struggled with as the protagonist was reminiscing, but I suppose it’s ok in this case. I was worried that I was doing it wrong. Great tips, and video, thanks so much ❤

  • @clayfinity5501
    @clayfinity5501 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I find it rather ironic that so many of the grammar/ language rules drilled into me during my school years (not a native speaker) are, in fact, unwelcome in writing, that literature wants to be kept simple. Time to learn to tug back my grammar nazi... This is going to hurt. Thank you for the tips, Ellen

  • @TheDarrenH30
    @TheDarrenH30 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow! What a great video. I just threw this on and viewed it as a reader, not a writer, and appreciated the content. Thank you. Great job.

  • @KDRtheMDDGNS
    @KDRtheMDDGNS ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video! I'm a screenwriter and essayist and this video helped me see some major challenges I have been facing. Thank you!

  • @silas1414
    @silas1414 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Fantastic. This is so good. I could listen to these all day. Super helpful.

  • @LoveSaidNo
    @LoveSaidNo ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you, Ellen! It’s always a joy listening to your explanations and examples and your videos have developed over time and are so exquisite! I‘ll never get tired of your advice. And besides, as one of your patreons, I know you‘re also a wonderful person so again: Thank Thank Thank you!

    • @EllenBrock
      @EllenBrock  ปีที่แล้ว

      You are so welcome. Thanks for your support!

  • @alisonh
    @alisonh ปีที่แล้ว +1

    the word "that" is my nemesis. take it from me, it's not *that* important, pun intended. If any one is looking for writing advice, you can probably cut it out a bunch, which, I've found can help make your sentences flow better, and just tidy them up into something more immediate. "that" is good/necessary for somethings, but I find it's helpful to review and be like, "how many that's do I really need in this chapter?" and the answer is usually much less. Lol.
    happy writing! great video!

  • @REALdavidmiscarriage
    @REALdavidmiscarriage ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I typed in the text from Adam Nevill into the Hemmingway editor and its all red and yellow... I guess this is just a classic case of "Do as I say don't do as I do"

  • @mlbullbooks
    @mlbullbooks ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great tips! I think I'm gonna look extra close for these during my last edit of my WIP. The Hemingway Editor is also one of my favorite tools to check the pacing and flow of my stories. I always use it while doing finishing touches (deleting filter words) and using my text-to-speech naturalreader.

  • @alexandradawson9057
    @alexandradawson9057 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Just found you - thought this was one of the best easy to understand videos I’ve heard. Looking forward to hearing your others.

  • @bink6565
    @bink6565 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you so much for this! I've felt something "off" with my writing recently, and I realised that I've been using a lot of filtering words which was really holding me back.

  • @neomawzz
    @neomawzz 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is genuinely the best video I’ve seen. I love the proper examples on screen!

  • @CKSage-writes
    @CKSage-writes ปีที่แล้ว +2

    All the line level tips I needed in one video. I'll be sharing this with my CP's.

  • @charmedprince
    @charmedprince ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She comes up with a new video when you need her the most! Thank you Ellen for reminding me that I still need to write my novel!!!

    • @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM
      @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM ปีที่แล้ว

      🎁👆 Thanks for watching... You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

  • @moc.936
    @moc.936 ปีที่แล้ว

    I just want to say, you've done the best job explaining everything in this video than anyone else I've seen. Plus your voice is so easy to listen to. I just subscribed and plan on playing catch up with your videos over time! :)

  • @nimblepixeluk
    @nimblepixeluk 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I've been following your channel for years, and have to say, your content is GOLD DUST.

  • @MrK.A
    @MrK.A ปีที่แล้ว

    Awesome video. I've been writing for over fifteen years and made a few of these mistakes. Especially the 'started to' and 'began to.' Thanks.

  • @globyois
    @globyois ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Liked it much and agreed with most.
    One thing . . . as for me, one of my most valued and EVER PRESENT practices is - ALWAYS BE SUBTRACTING! I ALWAYS keep my radar on high alert for ways to cut down my sentences. In other words, I do my best to make it a habit, an “actual habit” if I can, to CUT-CUT-CUT words from my manuscript.
    As one writer once said, if your story can live without it, it should have never been there in the first place.

  • @TalonZaff
    @TalonZaff ปีที่แล้ว

    Incredibly helpful content. Thank you for the clear examples and explanations.
    I can already see my writing improving with this advice.

  • @clintoreilly
    @clintoreilly ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This video is nicely put together. Clear and precise. And great tips entailing examples. Thanks. .

  • @sarahalbert6833
    @sarahalbert6833 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hi Ellen, great to wake up to a new video this morning. I so look forward to them and find your channel is one of the most valuable on TH-cam. Merry Christmas 🎄 and take care xx

    • @EllenBrock
      @EllenBrock  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wow, thank you! Merry Christmas!

  • @SpanishEclectic
    @SpanishEclectic ปีที่แล้ว

    This is excellent and very helpful, Ellen. I appreciate your disclaimers regarding style choices. With Historical Fiction, it's challenging to find the right balance when creating a period feel. It's easy to slip into the heavy verbiage from the classics. I read a current novel that was so full of unnecessary similes and metaphors I skimmed to the end. The story took place in the 1800s and every other thing was 'like' something modern or far outside the POV character's world. Totally blasted me out of the story. Over and over again. I remembered your old video where you read bad metaphors/similes from your own writing. :)

  • @johnparnham5945
    @johnparnham5945 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have watched this video six times and for me, it's been one of the most important videos That I've watched. I have typed up the principles into a document that guides my editing processing. So, thank you.

  • @BillZebubproductions
    @BillZebubproductions ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you. This contained some tips that have helped me. I am in my first draft and I am writing without much self-editing, but it's good to avoid some pitfalls before the first revision.

  • @roadscapehorror-talesofterror
    @roadscapehorror-talesofterror ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Was ing" really resonated with me. I really appreciate your observations. Very revealing and informative. I will heed your advice.

    • @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM
      @Ellen_Brock_ON_TE.LEGRAM ปีที่แล้ว

      🎁👆 Thanks for watching.. You have been selected among the winners of the ongoing iPhone 14/MacBook/PS5 giveout. Message the name above 👆🎁

  • @mariaergomes
    @mariaergomes ปีที่แล้ว

    I cannot put into words how helpful this video is! People need to see it. 👏👏

  • @SaaSLTDDeals
    @SaaSLTDDeals 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This video is jam-packed with valuable tips for creative writers! These tips will give any writing that professional polish anyone looking for.

  • @marramraabe
    @marramraabe ปีที่แล้ว

    I took your 'was -ing' tip and discovered an infestation of them in my writing. Probably the best insight to come my way in years - thanks!

  • @Pootycat8359
    @Pootycat8359 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I LIKE lengthy, complex, intricate, obtuse, sentences, that meander, "hither and yon," albeit, conforming to strict logical structure, possessed of perfect grammar, and devoid of errors of punctuation and spelling, whether due to a misguided keystroke (aka, a "typo"), or a lapse of memory regarding the correct spelling.

  • @gothbricks2000
    @gothbricks2000 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    An amazingly dense and pragmatic set of tips. Have to admit, I was dubious when I saw the bold video title. :) For me, the section on filtering was the most pertinent as it's an easy trap to fall into when a book encompasses many POVs, as mine do.Thanks very much!

  • @morganabourggraff132
    @morganabourggraff132 ปีที่แล้ว

    this is one of the best writing technique videos I've ever watched. Thanks!!!

  • @hurssylvr
    @hurssylvr ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow - so many of these are game changers! Thanks for breaking them down so clearly!

  • @djoseph104
    @djoseph104 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is such a great list. I love your explanations... especially of passive voice.

  • @hanzelhenline6533
    @hanzelhenline6533 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This was extremely helpful! Thanks for keeping it simple and easy to comprehend!

  • @hilmajerry975
    @hilmajerry975 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Correcting my chapter while listening to your video. Thanks.

  • @orca-enby-ur-enemie8811
    @orca-enby-ur-enemie8811 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you! Amazing video, thanks for helping all of us!

  • @LeeAnneRMT
    @LeeAnneRMT ปีที่แล้ว

    Fantastic lesson with great examples. Saving this to my writing folder.

  • @divin777
    @divin777 ปีที่แล้ว

    I just loved it! Definitely I needed to simplify my writing! Thanks a lot!