They don’t tell you the exact reason cause they don’t want you too sue them. But it’s really dam hard getting a new job and they ask why you leave you last job and I’m thinking I don’t freaking know why.
but even in a job interview, if they ultimately dont want to hire you they are not going to say well i am going to let you know right now you are not going to get this job but i will tell you hey for your next job interview i think you should do or say x ,y, x etc.
That’s half true. My ex’s used to be serial monogamists. When I’d break up with them it was more like, you became lazy, I’m not attracted to you anymore, creating drama over nothing (gives me a headache), or you’re acting shady.
I had a boyfriend break up with me, & before he did, he told me, "I love you, but I just don't want to be with you anymore." It hurt me, but I respected him more cause he told me the truth, & it did give me closure. If men would tell the truth, I don't think half the women would be rigging Tupperware dates to get answers.
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We donlt believe you. 99.999% of the time, a woman with want to argue with you about the "whys".
Most women I've ever broken up with without closure, have always tried to get me to meet up with them to "talk" which actually means I'll change your mind if you see me. I've even heard "can I have one last hug or kiss? "
It actually kind of does for me too (I guess I'm a woman 🤣). Seriously though, I think it is either because I am a very curious person or it is because of my OCD (I think it is both tbh.)
Closures don’t work for most men. It’s mainly a women’s thing. Women need to stop expecting it for their own mental well being in order to move on better. As you said, closures may feel like being dumped twice. It’s definitely more painful than the first breakup.
Steve is right, a good meaningful relationship never ends "out of the blue". Alot of women will never confirm that but we want a closure because we want to reassure ourselves that it was not our fault and we did not make anything wrong, which is foolish, because if something went wrong both partners bear their portion of responsibility.
samahj This is not bad advice; it wasn’t even really advice. He just stated the facts that most men don’t care about you after the relationship has ended and could care less about your future relationships or even you on a whole. And that’s why they don’t even bother to explain why it’s over, they’re just done and have moved on.
Steve has a good point about intuition. Every couple has some disagreements and a lot depends on how they are dealt with. Some are willing to work it out. But some aren't which builds up over time until one finally says enough. I think most women know why their men leave. But I don't see any problem with the guys letting their ladies know why they left. So there's no questions as to why.
I've lost all of my friends over a decade and I never got any closure, it's been the hardest part because I've always thought it was something wrong with me that I would never truly know about. It's been hard being alone for so long especially not having anyone to talk to or whatever but I've found happiness for myself because I had to. Life moves on and you need to pick yourself up and spend time thinking about why and how you can do better next time. Life is a learning experience through and through, no need to make things negative because that makes it harder trust me.
I am in the exact same spot. i dont know your gender, but i am a lady myself. No friends, 29 years old... i do most things by myself and i am so used to it. i love it! if someone doesnt like me for me, their loss. i know i would've been a great friend, cause i am loyal, honest and fun to be with, if i can say so myself:)
This is an incredibly selfish and immature way of thinking. If you're going to date someone that long (time they cannot get back, mind you) and suddenly want to call it quits, you owe that person an explaination as to why you wasted that person's time. Time they could have given to someone who truly deserved it. This whole mindset of "Because we're done", just shows a serious lack of integrity, regardless of a woman's intuition.
thePhoenixQueen Where in the rulebook does it says if you call a quits on someone in a relationship (bf/gf) that you owe them an explanation? That's just you driving crazy for an answer you don't even need. "Give a man a fish and he'll only eat for that day. Teach a man how to fish and he will never starve." I'm saying this meaning don't always expect an answer to come right to you. Sometimes you have to figure things out on your own and I dont mean by begging someone for an answer or forcing them too.
Let me explain something to you, unless someone just disappears out of nowhere an answer is ALWAYS given. Guess what? "I want to break up because I don't want to do this anymore" IS an answer; a PRETTY GOOD ONE too. It just isn't good enough for most women and y'all come BEGGING for answers like lost puppies. Same applies to some men as well. The relationship is over, you weren't the one's for each other. ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON!
Nobody owes anybody an explanation. That sense of entitlement may have been the reason it didn't work out. And like Karl said, both people's times "were wasted". But in all fairness if you learned something or grew from the experience, was it wasted?
I hate it when the guy just walk away and stop all communication. A reason like ' I just don't love you any more' then hang up would suffice. Don't keep us guessing whether it is a break up or you're throwing a fit or you just need some alone time. How would you feel to get the exact same treatment suddenly from the new girl you care about?
Adam Hecker No one likes going with the flow when the flow going against what they want or when the flow is taking away something of theirs. Don't tell me if you drop your phone or wallet into a river, you won't find ways to save it first.
When you care about a friend, you would want to find out why he/she was hanging out with you one day then the next day cut you off all communication. Even more so when the one who cuts you off is your boyfriend/girlfriend. When it is not clear cut, how long do I wait before I tell myself the relationship has ended and date someone else? If we are not certain he/she has left the relationship, dating someone else would feel like cheating, at least to me.
Men, if you found a woman that you fell in love with and you were with her for years and all of sudden she decides to end the relationship without giving you a reason why, would'nt you wonder why she wants to move on? Let's be real about this. Think about how you would feel in a situation like this; Especially if you thought the feeling was mutual.
Yaa Asantewaa Well that's when you think about the relationship. Like Steve said, you'll know if you were in a good relationship because if you honestly had no doubts and loved that person to death forever it wouldve never ended. Boyfriend Girlfriend relationships aren't marriage so they don't last forever. They may turn into a marriage but they never last forever. That type of relationship (dating) is just for experience and getting to know that person. Dont always think with your heart they can get you in trouble and break you.
Samantha Derrick That happens to men and women not just you. You're not the only one in the world that has been hurt. Women do it to men as well. Its not the whole sexuality it's the person, so don't just question all men like me all do it it's both groups of people. But I do understand where you are coming from.
Boom!! Steve nailed it. I am in a situation where this woman cannot see or accept I'm not the one for her. She just forces and forces a connection. Her intuition would tell her she needs to value herself more and move on, but she thinks she loves me. You can't love someone that openly doesn't love you that's just nuts.
If a man closed the relationship, I would like say we just don't wanna deal with it because women will give all these excuses that would left us speechless. we can't argue with women because we lose argument 99% they win. so I think the man doesn't wanna deal with all that emotions and crying process . we wanna skip it !
I don't care if I'm the only man who wants closure. I feel it's important, especially when my spouse wants to just "leave" without any valid reason/explanation... It's truly heartbreaking to just want to end a relationship just to please yourself, or to be at peace ONLY with yourself. Think about the other person's life, not just yours especially when you've been involved in his/hers for so long. A sudden termination could mean a spouse is *playing.* I can't just use my intuition to know what she is thinking so I have to ask her why *leaving* would be more reasonable than *communicating.*
+Jay Anderson Nice try, but sex is a baser need for me. I can live fine without it. The love and acceptance I need comes from God and my family. A relationship is suppose to be based on mutual respect and only then would I even consider giving someone my attention.
Everyone who gets dumped wants closure. A lot of these questions aren't one sided. Both men and women want to know why a girl that they liked dumped them. If it was a mutual break, not so much.
sorry ladies a man is just going to say we are over. its easy for them to walk away with pride than to tell the truth. i have 6 brothers. and as a young women i asked one why he left the way he did. he was finding fault in the women that i thought was really nice. he said. thats just it.. she was nice , never mis treated me .. so i had to find a reason to move away. so i just found bs reasons to put up as explanation for me leaving. you see he said to me .. i did'nt want to get any closer was not ready to marry her.. " he stated in with that old bs that guys pull.. i dont like how you cling, you dont clean right etc... ladies when men do this stuff we need to know thay are trying to get out without telling you the real reason. ... years later he said he missed out on the best thing tha ti ever had... she is an attorney ( successful) in atlanta he is a policeman. he is my brother but i swear he was a stupid ass... he never found another great women... he is divorced and had three kids with two women .... he still talks about her till this day.. and i always say .. "you made the wine now drink it"
It's the truth. I have a brother too. I have many uncles as well. They all function like this. It's heartbreaking for a woman to hear that all her efforts and attachment mean nothing. They make a plan and find excuses to escape that uncomfortable place and leave like it's nothing. It's crazy but it's the reality. I learned since I was little to not get involved and attached that much, to put the relationship first or forget about me. NEVER. IT'S NOT GOING TO END WELL. Women sacrifice a lot when we love. We do this without even thinking. I think we must all learn to have healthy boundaries. It's a MUST ladies. Do this for your own health. My father used to always tell me and is still telling me until this day that women should pick men who are crazy about them. Only then there's a chance that he's going to get involved like you want to, but not guarantee. I hope this will help someone.🙏
Hey@@JjBianca , I agree with much of what you say from my own experiences. Your dad has given you good guidance :) Thanks for passing his advice on and like you, I hope that will help others too, to keep good, healthy standards and relationships. (Lisa. England, U.K.)
myeyesinside out Thanks for sharing . It's sad when a guy can't see how great the girl that he's with is and let's her go but, it sometimes happens. Mostly if he's just not ready. Shame.
@@Lisaheartheecho everything has a timing! Women push themselves on men and by the way they dress! NOoo! The inside is MORE important...not the out side...women do it back wards and so can the men!🙄❤😎🚘💥
@@artistrg3487 yes you can both genders need to take responsibility and move forward in like. Stop being so emotional.
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@@artistrg3487 - Men aren't blaming women for the man's actions, men can accept their faults. Men are blaming women for women's actions ... and clearly from these comments women STILL cannot accept responsibility for their actions ... and likely never will. Seriously ... does any women even spend a moment to reflect on whether she might be at fault for ending a relationship?? Not from what I've seen in these comments. Narcissism is the ugliest trait women have and usually the reason a man decides to move on.
this maKes soo much sense... we as women can not allow men to break us this waY as Steve said we think with our heart and not allow our intuition to resolve it. I just got out of a 6 year relationship and it hurts like hell still not having 100% closure but in my mind I gotta know it probably was for the best. :''''(
This goes for woman as well. I talked to this girl and we both liked each other but one day she blocked me and never saw her again and there wasn’t a single thing I said that could’ve gone wrong.
If someone can't explain why they left you qnd broke things off, your heart never mattered to them. Man or women, it's just the proper thing to do, let someone go without thinking of you again and have a peacful life.
I don't care what anybody says. If a man wants to break up with me and I don't know why at east tell me why we're breaking, why this relationship didn't work out. Don't just leave me hanging there by just saying we're done and leave. Both men and women do this, end a relationship with their partner and doesn't say why.
Why would it matter if the man told you or not? You just weren't a good pairing anymore. You want to be better for the next relationship? Best way to be better for your next relationship is be yourself. You'll find a man that enjoys being with you for who you are.
I'm a woman and I think closure is overrated. As for me, if a man breaks up with me, I don't need to know the reasons why. All I need to understand is...he no longer wants to be with me. Him breaking up with me, disappeared, walked away, is my closure. Ladies...have some self respect and standards. Always know that you'll attract someone else who'll be a better fit for you.
A lot of our lives have been building up to securing a man, becoming wives and becoming closer to acting out our purpose through the role of a wife/mother (of course you have purpose without these) so the confusion comes when someone opts out we naturally feel we might be the cause. We internalise it as something must be wrong with me an of course that bleeds a whole train of past insecurities. I think we depend on our relationship status to validate us instead of understanding that it is not our sole purpose. Finding you and learning who you are is key a man won't release what is in you.
Very glad I'm not a closure chic. I've talked through these moments with a couple of my friends that do though. Like Steve - I kinda get it but the closure for me is that we're done. That's all the closure I need. I don't care who has next up; I don't need to be friends; you no longer exist in my world and I'm absolutely fine with that.
Colette Davis I agree with you. It seems like the more the years go by the less respect and decency is involved in a real relationship. Morals are a thing of the past I guess. It takes very little time to talk about what went wrong in the relationship. That's why women say there are less and less decent men in the world now. Definitely true in 2015. How sad.
Women seek closure to forget you and move on, next. Men won't give closure to keep possibilities open, in case plan A, plan B, Plan C fails, they got plan D as a backup plan.
BINGO! And unfortunately women fall in that trap of think it’s safe to move back in. I believe as women we should encourage each other and have healing programs where those women who are in pain and hurt can find comfort and try to move on with their lives.
My own experience has been this: the second you answer why, it leads to a whole laundry list of follow up questions that will continue for weeks. Also whatever answers you give, she misconstrues it to make herself a victim and you a heartless monster.
I block them on all media account and change my number and never give it out to her friends. Get a restraining order so she can get locked up coming by your residence.
I just watched this. Steve told the truth about womens’ intuition. I tell my daughter and nieces to listen to their gut feelings (intuition) about a guy. If something just doesn’t feel right, then something isn’t right. I didn’t act on my intuition and end two relationships that have brought me much grief. The first one was with a guy I dated in college only to learn a year after graduation and after we were employed in two different states that he was in a relationship with another girl in his hometown the whole time he was in a relationship with me! She found my number on his phone bill and called me. Back then you had to pay for long distance calls by the minute. She was just as shocked as I was. We shared stories like two old friends. I told her I didn’t want him back. I felt more sorry for her than for myself because she was pregnant. She left him I learned later. I’m still in the second relationship which is my 35 year dysfunctional marriage. I’m retired and cannot support myself finally at this time and neither can he, so we’re stuck. I didn’t act on my intuition which warned me a month before the wedding to call it off because my fiancé was too bossy and domineering.
wow I feel lucky enough that two of my exs explained why we suddenly broke up and finding out it was not me but them and the reason why helped me to move on knowing deep down I am still worth of a women to find someone who is right for me. I never asked for closure, yes I felt sad and confused but five years after one after the other contacting me to explain and nothing else in return that is a God Blessing right there.
He's right. Men don't care. So basically, don't get too emotionally involved with them. Because if they leave - they're gone! No explanation, just ghosted! Sounds hard to do, but dating a few jerks will get you cold hearted enough to let it roll right off your back!
ifunanya24 if your dating jerks you should check yourself or raise your standards. Because no one forces you to actually date us. Remember no is a perfectly fine answer and if a guy asks you out. You don't have to say yes to everyone
then dont lash out and play blaming games. how jerky/low to hear 'no one forces you to actually date us'. no force? give pressure, manipulation, impose rules/dominant. give fxxk around.
he got me when he said did we not know it wasn’t going to work. kuz i told myself for months, it’s not gonna last, he’s not the one. i wasted my time but yet i sat here thinking why did he leave me
I love being a woman thank steave an its so true steave what your saying. ..an honestly even when men do give us closer we still want to to work it out with them. that's why I think guys don't give us closer lol.......they know what coming after that.lol
No closure equals spiritually immature finite thinking selfishness! If a man truly knows how to express the love that is above humanistic love, and is above the finite emotionally fueled natural love (same thing)... he'll either man up and mend towards meaningful growth or provide appropriately considerate closure.
Once the relationship is over, the man doesn't owe his ex anything. Leave it alone and keep it moving. Stop with the "a real man would..." argument because hes not required to do anything.
It depends on who ends it. Men want closure when a girl breaks up with us but we rarely get it. The person who ends it is bound to still have feelings for the other so unless they are completely heartless they feel uncomfortable and don’t want to drag it out. It is selfish but it goes both ways.
Steve is right! Once a guy is done with you, he can care less of what you do after he is gone. Therefore, it is time that we let them go to and live our live without them as well. As Steve said, God gave us the beautiful gift of intuition, ladies, let's use it.
I sure don't. Once we are done we are done. You already got your answer. You really don't need the why in my opinion. Move on. I would rather be single and be happy and have peace of mind instead of letting someone live rent free there. Don't hold onto a relationship that is already over. Dont give someone power over you. Let go. You are old enough to know better and learn from the experience and do better next time.
I feel happier being alone, even though out of 5 friends, I'm the only one without a girlfriend/wife. I never see my friends fight with their significant other but I know there's something wrong when one of them calls up and asks if we wanna hang out. To get away from their problems, they need some time to think and advice from other people before women get their closure because men are afraid they're gonna say something wrong, whatever hatred they've left in the back of their mind comes spurting out
the advice Steve gave at the end was womp womp. you missed it on that one. you can't assume just because a women have a intuition that she know this relationship going to fail. for every guy that walked away unexpectedly and rudely it was hurtful and disappointing. no amount of intuition prepares you for that our gives you the closure we want and deserve. it's easy to say of well. but it's not easy to do.
+King Temisan this is talking about a situation where the guy is doing the breaking up, not the girl. if you as the guy are breaking up then why wouldn't you want the girl to move on? why would you want her to be stuck on you? that's immature and childish. and it should be the same if a girl wants to break up with a guy. we women give men closure, we make it clear why it's not going to work before we say bye.
***** lol at all guys are ignorant and immature, I guess that might be true. And you are probably right regarding the differences of men and women when they break up.
The main problem is answering the "why" Most men don't love/like you any more But don't want to hurt your feelings. Not that they are not matured but I see it as temperament issue Some will just say it and are done and others will avoid that conversation
when it's the other way round and the girl wants to break up, men all of a sudden DO want closure... they hang on for months and don't want to believe it... the difference I see is that women don't want closure, they want to change the man's mind PLUS they want to change the man to fit their ideal... that is what men don't do: they NEVER want the girl to change in order to fit his ideals (not talking of the psychos here :)... they love and accept the woman the way she is, and that is the one big characteristic I love in men... WHEN they love, they love unconditionally
Well, fact is that women mostly are more social in general and thus (much) more caring in a releationship than men. Of course they would like to get something back, but most men don't do that. That is something nearly every woman wants to change, quite understandible I think. Also men tend to be more lazy in a relationship, e.g. they don't do their part of work at home. Again- absolutely understandible that women are not going to put up with this. And don't talk about "unconditional love" by men when they get all they need from a relationship whereas women mostly give more than they get.
Celisar1 I found that men ask for less. yes, they will take ALL they can get, but they don't make it a condition. yes, they don't do what they don't want to and that can be annoying, but I prefer that than sby constantly trying to change sby
+mssummerrose1 That's only because you are giving this benefit as a man. If you were at the other end of the bargain, you would like to chance that ATTITUDE too. So, it's not about the the men but how they behave.
True, we think with our heart. We shouldn't. When you have a instinct and it tells you it's not working stop immediately before a guy dumps you. That's why ppl don't go to deep. Going deep hurts later.
In my experience men tend to be the ones who ask what they did wrong in the relationship and I have no issue with answering. I agree with the women, understanding our faults helps us be better people.
In my experience women cheated. I told her I needed to grow up and never told her about finding about her cheating. One time an ex got a new boyfriend that same night we broke up. lol And I wonder why I left. If you don't know what you did, no man can help you. Women up and take responsibility for you own actions.
Because women may not like the answer they get from "closure". It could backfire on the guy and make him out as the bad guy which could easily affect future relationships. Remember we are in the social media age and everything we do can easily be posted and shared 1000s of times. So a general rule of thumb is to be quiet, STFU, or keep the closure reason very simplified.
I move on without closure often..most people have no choice.. men don’t give usually closure, i figure the men don’t want me because if they did then we would still be together
lol imagine breaking up from a long term relationship with a person who was an incredibly significant part of your life and then telling them theyre not entitled to a reason. Yikes, what a mindset.
@@geremymason5936 It doesn't have to change anything, but if 2 people are sharing their lives and bodily fluids for a significant period of time, the humane thing to do is to let them know and/or tell them why you are leaving. Just saying
@@4naymsakeRW I'm not commenting on whether it's right or wrong - that's a matter of opinion. I'm saying that if the other person doesn't want to say anything, they're not obligated to. No one is entitled to an explanation - sometimes people just need to hold the L and keep it moving.
@@geremymason5936 Its not about obligation, it's about showing respect to the person and the situation you had. When nothing is said it says not only are you just done, but you never cared about the time I spent with the person at all. People are so caught up in personal ego, that we humans treat each other like crap. On top of it most people are not evolved enough to take what they dish out if it happens to them in the future. They hate when someone does it to them. We just all need to do better IMO
It's kinda interesting how the ladies want a post break up analysis and summary with charts and pie graphs, but probably didn't think twice about the hordes of men they left in the dust throughout their life that they never gave an explanation to. Often times the shoe doesn't fit so we'll when it's on the other foot it seems.
This is the most hypocritical response from men. Because, why men demand to tell them what they did wrong yet when we ask for that we are label "crazy".
nope I get what you saying. that's why they don't give us the closer..cause us as women we try to fix stuff.we at times like a challenge. when it's done with a guy it's done. just don't put your heart into it an follow your gut . sisterhood.
+loveme champain It's like I'm living in a reverse world then ;o I have 2 ex-girlfriends.. They both broke up with me out of the blue and never said a word again. One day she loved me, the next day she's done ;s And it did also drive me crazy.. I don't even know where it came from.. So there's nothing to learn from that..
+RadioactiveGoose as a female I had done that my self I can speak from my earlier experience. um she still wants to be with you both of them are not over you.but they dislike what you did to them if that makes sense.lol they want you but not the baggage you bring though but iam Glad you moved on because the two girls needed to heal an get on your two feet.they wear weak an variable.they probably thought they could change you. I have a feeling they were young as well.but you did the right thing by not pursuing them. .they needed to grow on they own. 😄
That intuition comment was extreme schmoozing. Kudos to you Harvey! And this is coming from a woman... I would've clapped too. It's 2019 now. Can I get a seat at this show? I love male v.s. female perspective comedy! I write to Bill Burr about it a lot.
MEN the truth is, if women don't get closure then the women can easily carry the emotional baggage over into the next relationship. Now you may think, "well that;s none of my business". Well guess what, you're not doing the next man any favors and that women you're now attracted to, that man who had her before ain't dong you any favors either. So men, do the right thing and give women closure, if not for her, at least for your fellow "menship".....
No no no. You need to deal with your baggage and take some accountability before entering another relationship. Don't take baggage and treat the next guy bad because that's going to just repeat the cycle and you'll end up with more baggage. Some men do give closure and some don't. There are a variety of reasons and cases so it's hard to say.
Well said. That’s true . Better just give closure and say good bye nicely especially both ever spent nice time together. Act like real gentleman. Done with it then move on
most of the time if the man dumps her he s done and he s probably told why lots of times but women makes excuses for their actions instead then the classic "what about you comes out " and that right is what we want to avoid .Now if its simple l ll tell you PS women are not always right and are accountable for your actions just the same
+richard carr Not always I always communicated with my boyfriend asking if everything was ok cuz he was acting weird and he said it was just stress and one day asked him directly do you want to break up ? and he denied and made me think it was all in my head next week he broke up with me so .....I guess it´depends on the person you are with how mature they are....
+Charlotte Maison l dont know the circumstances why he decided not just go ahead and get it over with ,possible he was not settled on his decision just yet But l will say this from my own experience ,during any relationship thoughts come and go randomly depending on what s going around them ,work home friends and the moods that go along with them .Along with their partner's moods and reactions ,those can trigger thoughts of doubt /regret etc AND things either go forward or stop from there BUT l m pretty sure that goes both for men and women .
richard carr yeah maybe but it hurts you know ppl need to go straight forward and tell the others the truth like I don´t love you anymore even tho it hurts it´s good to know so you know it´s nothing you did it is just that person doesnt feel the same as you ppl should be more brave when they walk away the person you were with gave you their time and that is something you can´t get back they at least deserve a descent and clear explanation. He told he still loved me and didn´t know if he was making the biggest mistake of his life and if he finds out if I could take him back...and asked me to be friends with him I tried but it hurt too much then I told him by a letter I still loved him and that is why I can´t be friends with him any longer it took me 3 weeks cuz I was unable to move on with the door kind of open you know ...so I think its about values either you are a guy or a woman.
+Charlotte Maison oh l ve been too many emotional roller coasters to count and sometimes its just best to walk away .Once l went back to talk to "her" about why l left and get my jacket back .All that came of it was no jacket and alot of excuses/lies (the 2nd being the main reason) that l no longer wanted to hear .BTW l saw my jacket yrs later on the guy she said she wasn't sleeping with ,MAC TOOLS special edition ,and he wasn't no mechanic but he was a tool :P So going on that experience it was a waist of time and l should ve just let her figure it out on her own
Many men are scared to give women closure, but if the script was flipped, they would want closure. The person who is dumped is usually the one who is dying for closure.
Don't know guys, I wouldn't agree on this one. It is very hurtful and quite shocking for a person for not knowing why you got dumped, were you a man or a woman it sucks and I bet a lot of us found ourselves in similiar situations at one point of our lives. Because afterall, if you invested so much time and effort into something you expect you should atleast deserve a chance for a decent goodbye and to know why you found yourself in that position in the first place. To conclude, I would say this is more of a human question than it is a question related to a woman only.
I feel like this is the ONE thing women are right in. If you end it, I feel like its respectful to tell them why. Thats all, leave. Tell them why. Say goodbye. It doesnt have to be a 5 hour convo. Just 15 minutes to explain it. Dont get into an argument, just explain it. They deserve it.
Women ask for closure so that we can find a firm answer that makes our hearts feel better, what we already know in our brains in order to move forward without any remorse or guilt in our past relation.
Just like my guy says Steve on point!! I just don't care.. When I leave I'm gone and you won't know it. Closure = emotions! We just don't do it period.
Women ARE emotional creatures, some more so than others but we are still emotional creatures nonetheless. If men don't want to get tangled up in a woman's emotions don't pursue women, pursue men. Obviously if you can't grow a set and deal with the emotions than you better start getting in the right mindset to satisfy your sexual appetite with other men.
Actually to say that men don't want closure is completely wrong, and to say that women always want or need closure is completely wrong. The person, male or female, that needs closure is almost always the one who got dumped. It's that simple.
As a guy, I would tell my gf the reason why if I break up with her. And i would hope she would do the same. Guys should start doing that because it is pretty selfish when someone doesn't do that.
Honestly it’s all about how much respect you have for that person once things are over. If you don’t have respect when it ends, what makes you think they’re gonna care to “explain” and give examples, etc. They’re no longer obligated to tell you anything anymore. 😂😂😂😂😂 I get it bc I’m a young woman but understand when things are over. Accept it & move on sis.
Honestly, every time I broke up with a woman, I gave her a reason as to why I'm walking away along with why I won't change my mind. Once I check out emotionally, that's it, I'm done so as far as I'm concern, I'll be as straightforward and honest as I need to be but otherwise, once its over its over and there's no going back.
Netherwolf6100 At least you had a dialogue with her/them at the end. My ex of 28 years had no apology or explanation for his cheating, lying, embezzling ways even with a marital counselor. So I divorced him. I learned that I couldn't force an apology or explanation from him and cut my losses. It was very hurtful and disrespectful of him, and I at least deserved an apology for why he sought out his old high school girlfriend on FB. At least now I know I will retire in comfort, as I don't have to worry about paying his bills (he loved to spend money he didn't have).
mickyunit Damn sorry you had to deal with that. In my mind, when it comes to the feelings of others and a relationship, there's little worse than a coward who's too afraid to be up front with their feelings, even if said reasons are selfish and shallow. Those who can't even openly acknowledge what they're doing to others don't deserve the right to be happy in my mind.
Steve hit it right on the head - its not the mans problem. Equating it with a job is not realistic. A job tells you so that they do not get hit with an unlawful termination lawsuit so its nowhere near the same.
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
just like a job...well 90% of the time the reasons you're given for getting fired is not the correct reason you got fired over.
+zadose Makes 0 sense you cant sue someone for breaking up with you thats not YOUR CHOICE its THEIR choice
Ya but also 90% of the time you know what the real reason is regardless of what you were told.
They don’t tell you the exact reason cause they don’t want you too sue them. But it’s really dam hard getting a new job and they ask why you leave you last job and I’m thinking I don’t freaking know why.
but even in a job interview, if they ultimately dont want to hire you they are not going to say well i am going to let you know right now you are not going to get this job but i will tell you hey for your next job interview i think you should do or say x ,y, x etc.
Jobs just want to avoid liability - they wouldn't bother explaining anything either if that wasn't case.
when someone disappears, man or woman, it's usually for another man or woman
Some just like to play hard to get.
I do.
That's not true. Sometimes they're just tired of your sh!t!
That’s half true. My ex’s used to be serial monogamists. When I’d break up with them it was more like, you became lazy, I’m not attracted to you anymore, creating drama over nothing (gives me a headache), or you’re acting shady.
Not really sometimes woman goes fore being hurt and underestimated in the relationship
Men rather get hit by a truck than tell you why
TRUE
Yes we would
Omg
I bust out laughing at this
--buncha cowards
Facts
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I had a boyfriend break up with me, & before he did, he told me, "I love you, but I just don't want to be with you anymore." It hurt me, but I respected him more cause he told me the truth, & it did give me closure. If men would tell the truth, I don't think half the women would be rigging Tupperware dates to get answers.
We donlt believe you. 99.999% of the time, a woman with want to argue with you about the "whys".
he didnt tell you the truth, he just told you what you wanted to hear so u would drag it out.
@@agro9999 better that than, "I want to break up, dont ask me why" like should I be getting an STD test or something lol
@@michellerichardson3090 🤣🤣🤣
But the thing about it is he chose to give you a reason. He didn't owe you a reason. A man doesn't owe a woman a reason for breaking up.
Most women I've ever broken up with without closure, have always tried to get me to meet up with them to "talk" which actually means I'll change your mind if you see me. I've even heard "can I have one last hug or kiss? "
Shameful of both you and the women.
Last hug n kiss usually leads to last smash!
Facts
I guess I'm a man then because I'm in no way, shape, or form interested in a last meet up. You go, no problem have a good one. 👋
Man I wish I would meet up with someone who broke up with me and didnt say why. Im just gonna take it as hes got something going on and I'm good.
Man, this was one of the more genuine talk shows. Can't believe it's over.
This is so true, not knowing drives us crazy
Dan you FOINE!!!! Plz be 21+ Plz be 21+ Plz be 21+
And if ever you were told, would you make amendments?
Sorry
It actually kind of does for me too (I guess I'm a woman 🤣). Seriously though, I think it is either because I am a very curious person or it is because of my OCD (I think it is both tbh.)
Garrett Evans 😂😂😂
I actually hate closure. It really feels like you're getting dumped twice. More often than not the reason is just the 'I didn't like you enough'.
This is so true.
Closures don’t work for most men. It’s mainly a women’s thing. Women need to stop expecting it for their own mental well being in order to move on better. As you said, closures may feel like being dumped twice. It’s definitely more painful than the first breakup.
That's true
That's the ONLY reason! They don't want to be with you anymore. That's there problem. Just move on and never settle!
Steve is right, a good meaningful relationship never ends "out of the blue". Alot of women will never confirm that but we want a closure because we want to reassure ourselves that it was not our fault and we did not make anything wrong, which is foolish, because if something went wrong both partners bear their portion of responsibility.
This is bad advice. If your were in a relationship with someone, especially for that long, you should at least have a proper good bye.
samahj no offense but 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why have a "proper goodbye" tho?
There is no legitimate purpose behind it.
I agreed but unfortunately it does happens.
samahj This is not bad advice; it wasn’t even really advice. He just stated the facts that most men don’t care about you after the relationship has ended and could care less about your future relationships or even you on a whole. And that’s why they don’t even bother to explain why it’s over, they’re just done and have moved on.
samahj Keep in mind, he’s not stating what men SHOULD do, he’s stating what men do and the reason to why they don’t “provide closure”.
This one made me feel like I`m not man enough...I don`t ask for closure after a relationship but I really appreciate knowing exactly what happened
Steve has a good point about intuition. Every couple has some disagreements and a lot depends on how they are dealt with. Some are willing to work it out. But some aren't which builds up over time until one finally says enough. I think most women know why their men leave. But I don't see any problem with the guys letting their ladies know why they left. So there's no questions as to why.
I am a woman and I don't need a closure. I take "silence for a answer. I trust my gut and moved on. 👌🏽
I agree. Ive never met one that needed closure. I guess i got lucky, maybe?
Steve is literally the best talk show host to watch when you need advice about life
4:10 - 4:20
"You have the best gift God gave you: your intuition. If you are not using it it's 'cause you're using your heart."
Wise words to remember
I've lost all of my friends over a decade and I never got any closure, it's been the hardest part because I've always thought it was something wrong with me that I would never truly know about. It's been hard being alone for so long especially not having anyone to talk to or whatever but I've found happiness for myself because I had to. Life moves on and you need to pick yourself up and spend time thinking about why and how you can do better next time. Life is a learning experience through and through, no need to make things negative because that makes it harder trust me.
I am in the exact same spot. i dont know your gender, but i am a lady myself. No friends, 29 years old... i do most things by myself and i am so used to it. i love it! if someone doesnt like me for me, their loss. i know i would've been a great friend, cause i am loyal, honest and fun to be with, if i can say so myself:)
@@InhaleSkyExhaleStars Keep being you. You'll do just fine.
@@Ganon999 Yessss! im positive😀 May God bless you ❤
@@InhaleSkyExhaleStars You too ☺
@@InhaleSkyExhaleStars I feel you and relate with you on so many levels 😊
This is an incredibly selfish and immature way of thinking. If you're going to date someone that long (time they cannot get back, mind you) and suddenly want to call it quits, you owe that person an explaination as to why you wasted that person's time. Time they could have given to someone who truly deserved it. This whole mindset of "Because we're done", just shows a serious lack of integrity, regardless of a woman's intuition.
thePhoenixQueen Where in the rulebook does it says if you call a quits on someone in a relationship (bf/gf) that you owe them an explanation? That's just you driving crazy for an answer you don't even need. "Give a man a fish and he'll only eat for that day. Teach a man how to fish and he will never starve." I'm saying this meaning don't always expect an answer to come right to you. Sometimes you have to figure things out on your own and I dont mean by begging someone for an answer or forcing them too.
thePhoenixQueen Integrity or not........you are not ENTITLED to an explanation. Nobody is entitled to anything
Let me explain something to you, unless someone just disappears out of nowhere an answer is ALWAYS given.
Guess what? "I want to break up because I don't want to do this anymore" IS an answer; a PRETTY GOOD ONE too. It just isn't good enough for most women and y'all come BEGGING for answers like lost puppies. Same applies to some men as well.
The relationship is over, you weren't the one's for each other. ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON!
Nobody owes anybody an explanation. That sense of entitlement may have been the reason it didn't work out.
And like Karl said, both people's times "were wasted". But in all fairness if you learned something or grew from the experience, was it wasted?
That's like telling a horse what disease it had after it died - what's the point?
My word the Indian lady at the end was stunning, breathtaking! Simply beautiful.
+dwills s i think she wasnt talking about the lady you think shes talking about. lmfao
ikr!! beautiful!
Yes . I dropped my glass of water just by starting too long . Those eyes :)
Daammnn you are so right, I think i am in love
It was her eyes that caught me.
I hate it when the guy just walk away and stop all communication. A reason like ' I just don't love you any more' then hang up would suffice. Don't keep us guessing whether it is a break up or you're throwing a fit or you just need some alone time. How would you feel to get the exact same treatment suddenly from the new girl you care about?
I would just go meet another girl.
Adam Hecker
No one likes going with the flow when the flow going against what they want or when the flow is taking away something of theirs. Don't tell me if you drop your phone or wallet into a river, you won't find ways to save it first.
+llgla IKR... IT IS COWARDLY!!
When you care about a friend, you would want to find out why he/she was hanging out with you one day then the next day cut you off all communication. Even more so when the one who cuts you off is your boyfriend/girlfriend.
When it is not clear cut, how long do I wait before I tell myself the relationship has ended and date someone else? If we are not certain he/she has left the relationship, dating someone else would feel like cheating, at least to me.
+llgla How would we feel? We wouldnt make a big deal out of it and eventually move on. We're not like you women.
Men, if you found a woman that you fell in love with and you were with her for years and all of sudden she decides to end the relationship without giving you a reason why, would'nt you wonder why she wants to move on? Let's be real about this. Think about how you would feel in a situation like this; Especially if you thought the feeling was mutual.
Maybe for a nano second but mostly not
this is my current situation and i am dying to know why
Yaa Asantewaa Well that's when you think about the relationship. Like Steve said, you'll know if you were in a good relationship because if you honestly had no doubts and loved that person to death forever it wouldve never ended. Boyfriend Girlfriend relationships aren't marriage so they don't last forever. They may turn into a marriage but they never last forever. That type of relationship (dating) is just for experience and getting to know that person. Dont always think with your heart they can get you in trouble and break you.
Samantha Derrick That happens to men and women not just you. You're not the only one in the world that has been hurt. Women do it to men as well. Its not the whole sexuality it's the person, so don't just question all men like me all do it it's both groups of people. But I do understand where you are coming from.
+will baby
Steve said the _women_ would know, because intuition... not the men. Men barely have empathy, let alone intuition.
Ladies learn to give yourself closer. Most likely he won't tell you the real reason anyway 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Exactly 💯
Boom!! Steve nailed it. I am in a situation where this woman cannot see or accept I'm not the one for her. She just forces and forces a connection. Her intuition would tell her she needs to value herself more and move on, but she thinks she loves me. You can't love someone that openly doesn't love you that's just nuts.
Omg....poor thing....hopefully u are not still talkn to her at all....sad
If a man closed the relationship, I would like say we just don't wanna deal with it because women will give all these excuses that would left us speechless. we can't argue with women because we lose argument 99% they win. so I think the man doesn't wanna deal with all that emotions and crying process . we wanna skip it !
yas had lmao
yas had im a woman and i agree with you on that one.
how self-righteous. n when u want sex from women, u do/lie everything cunning to set women up on bed!
That makes a lot of sense
True. After it's done for a guy he doesn't want to invest in anything anymore. I think women should follow the same.
I don't care if I'm the only man who wants closure. I feel it's important, especially when my spouse wants to just "leave" without any valid reason/explanation... It's truly heartbreaking to just want to end a relationship just to please yourself, or to be at peace ONLY with yourself. Think about the other person's life, not just yours especially when you've been involved in his/hers for so long. A sudden termination could mean a spouse is *playing.* I can't just use my intuition to know what she is thinking so I have to ask her why *leaving* would be more reasonable than *communicating.*
Ladies, stop letting these men live inside your head. Goodbye and good riddance.
Totally agree
I agree!
I needed this!!!!!
+Jay Anderson Nice try, but sex is a baser need for me. I can live fine without it. The love and acceptance I need comes from God and my family. A relationship is suppose to be based on mutual respect and only then would I even consider giving someone my attention.
hahahahaha the comment above hahahahahaha
Everyone who gets dumped wants closure. A lot of these questions aren't one sided. Both men and women want to know why a girl that they liked dumped them. If it was a mutual break, not so much.
Nothing is one sided or one size fits all, it's just a HIGH majority
When my ex and I broke, I cried, not gonna lie. The freedom that came after was so much better
it's respect.
L Hunt we don't respect you
sorry ladies a man is just going to say we are over. its easy for them to walk away with pride than to tell the truth. i have 6 brothers. and as a young women i asked one why he left the way he did. he was finding fault in the women that i thought was really nice. he said. thats just it.. she was nice , never mis treated me .. so i had to find a reason to move away. so i just found bs reasons to put up as explanation for me leaving. you see he said to me .. i did'nt want to get any closer was not ready to marry her.. " he stated in with that old bs that guys pull.. i dont like how you cling, you dont clean right etc... ladies when men do this stuff we need to know thay are trying to get out without telling you the real reason. ... years later he said he missed out on the best thing tha ti ever had... she is an attorney ( successful) in atlanta he is a policeman. he is my brother but i swear he was a stupid ass... he never found another great women... he is divorced and had three kids with two women .... he still talks about her till this day.. and i always say .. "you made the wine now drink it"
It's the truth. I have a brother too. I have many uncles as well. They all function like this. It's heartbreaking for a woman to hear that all her efforts and attachment mean nothing. They make a plan and find excuses to escape that uncomfortable place and leave like it's nothing. It's crazy but it's the reality. I learned since I was little to not get involved and attached that much, to put the relationship first or forget about me. NEVER. IT'S NOT GOING TO END WELL. Women sacrifice a lot when we love. We do this without even thinking. I think we must all learn to have healthy boundaries. It's a MUST ladies. Do this for your own health. My father used to always tell me and is still telling me until this day that women should pick men who are crazy about them. Only then there's a chance that he's going to get involved like you want to, but not guarantee. I hope this will help someone.🙏
...so like a prison we have to hatch a plan... and escape. Wow...that should tell women all they need to know
Hey@@JjBianca , I agree with much of what you say from my own experiences. Your dad has given you good guidance :) Thanks for passing his advice on and like you, I hope that will help others too, to keep good, healthy standards and relationships. (Lisa. England, U.K.)
myeyesinside out Thanks for sharing . It's sad when a guy can't see how great the girl that he's with is and let's her go but, it sometimes happens. Mostly if he's just not ready. Shame.
@@Lisaheartheecho everything has a timing! Women push themselves on men and by the way they dress! NOoo! The inside is MORE important...not the out side...women do it back wards and so can the men!🙄❤😎🚘💥
They aren't interested until they ARE the next man. and then they are wondering why we acting crazy. . . .
Look inward and fix yourself. Stop blaming men for all you're problems
66kaisersoza Can you say the same for all the salty men blaming women for all of their own problems in each of these videos?
@@artistrg3487 yes you can both genders need to take responsibility and move forward in like. Stop being so emotional.
@@artistrg3487 - Men aren't blaming women for the man's actions, men can accept their faults. Men are blaming women for women's actions ... and clearly from these comments women STILL cannot accept responsibility for their actions ... and likely never will. Seriously ... does any women even spend a moment to reflect on whether she might be at fault for ending a relationship?? Not from what I've seen in these comments. Narcissism is the ugliest trait women have and usually the reason a man decides to move on.
Cause women refuse to acknowledge their wrongs in why the relationship failed.
Are you for real?
+Jax James Yes I'm for real
+MackeyDeez That's why you're single!
+Stylebreed Exactly I can no longer tolerate the stupidity of some females.
+Stylebreed He's right tho. Its coming from a man so you better take it in or u just gonna miss a great point
this maKes soo much sense... we as women can not allow men to break us this waY as Steve said we think with our heart and not allow our intuition to resolve it. I just got out of a 6 year relationship and it hurts like hell still not having 100% closure but in my mind I gotta know it probably was for the best. :''''(
MissTenay H.G God has a reason for everything that was just a life lesson for you cheer up :)
There are some gorgeous people in Steve's panel . Love the colors as well :)
This goes for woman as well. I talked to this girl and we both liked each other but one day she blocked me and never saw her again and there wasn’t a single thing I said that could’ve gone wrong.
If someone can't explain why they left you qnd broke things off, your heart never mattered to them. Man or women, it's just the proper thing to do, let someone go without thinking of you again and have a peacful life.
I’m going through a heartbreak right now. This is so relieving.
I don't care what anybody says. If a man wants to break up with me and I don't know why at east tell me why we're breaking, why this relationship didn't work out. Don't just leave me hanging there by just saying we're done and leave. Both men and women do this, end a relationship with their partner and doesn't say why.
we dont get any benefit of telling you anything, we ended the relationship and moved on. good luck
@@agro9999 that's why I tell men, if you're going to end this, do it when you first feel it. Dont try to "see if it could work". Just end it and go
Why would it matter if the man told you or not? You just weren't a good pairing anymore. You want to be better for the next relationship? Best way to be better for your next relationship is be yourself. You'll find a man that enjoys being with you for who you are.
This is why I end my 7years relationship, I know in my heart that things wasn't working out. Thank you for God's gift of intuition
I'm a woman and I think closure is overrated. As for me, if a man breaks up with me, I don't need to know the reasons why. All I need to understand is...he no longer wants to be with me. Him breaking up with me, disappeared, walked away, is my closure.
Ladies...have some self respect and standards. Always know that you'll attract someone else who'll be a better fit for you.
sometimes closure can break a person, ,its easier to walk away eg it didnt work as they smelt bad because they refused to wear deodorant
ildsc lmfao
A lot of our lives have been building up to securing a man, becoming wives and becoming closer to acting out our purpose through the role of a wife/mother (of course you have purpose without these) so the confusion comes when someone opts out we naturally feel we might be the cause. We internalise it as something must be wrong with me an of course that bleeds a whole train of past insecurities. I think we depend on our relationship status to validate us instead of understanding that it is not our sole purpose. Finding you and learning who you are is key a man won't release what is in you.
It's just that you want to hear it from them although you already know. That's Ironic..
Very glad I'm not a closure chic. I've talked through these moments with a couple of my friends that do though. Like Steve - I kinda get it but the closure for me is that we're done. That's all the closure I need. I don't care who has next up; I don't need to be friends; you no longer exist in my world and I'm absolutely fine with that.
Colette Davis I agree with you. It seems like the more the years go by the less respect and decency is involved in a real relationship. Morals are a thing of the past I guess. It takes very little time to talk about what went wrong in the relationship. That's why women say there are less and less decent men in the world now. Definitely true in 2015. How sad.
1:49 girls face and neck are two different colors imfaoo girl you gotta blend!!!
I noticed men dont do closure because they want you to still leave the door open
That’s what it is ; so they can try popping back in when they want
Cause we cared WAY MORE and the man never really loved us the same. I swear this is truth
Women seek closure to forget you and move on, next.
Men won't give closure to keep possibilities open, in case plan A, plan B, Plan C fails, they got plan D as a backup plan.
so true
Damn. I ain’t even think of that.
Nope nope ... even if we tell y’all mf our truth ... y’all still won’t believe us
BINGO!
And unfortunately women fall in that trap of think it’s safe to move back in.
I believe as women we should encourage each other and have healing programs where those women who are in pain and hurt can find comfort and try to move on with their lives.
That is a fact also aoso you will see them out and have a one night stand.
for me a closure lets me know where my weakness is......and how i could better myself for the next guy.
My own experience has been this: the second you answer why, it leads to a whole laundry list of follow up questions that will continue for weeks. Also whatever answers you give, she misconstrues it to make herself a victim and you a heartless monster.
I block them on all media account and change my number and never give it out to her friends. Get a restraining order so she can get locked up coming by your residence.
I just watched this. Steve told the truth about womens’ intuition. I tell my daughter and nieces to listen to their gut feelings (intuition) about a guy. If something just doesn’t feel right, then something isn’t right.
I didn’t act on my intuition and end two relationships that have brought me much grief. The first one was with a guy I dated in college only to learn a year after graduation and after we were employed in two different states that he was in a relationship with another girl in his hometown the whole time he was in a relationship with me! She found my number on his phone bill and called me. Back then you had to pay for long distance calls by the minute. She was just as shocked as I was. We shared stories like two old friends. I told her I didn’t want him back. I felt more sorry for her than for myself because she was pregnant. She left him I learned later.
I’m still in the second relationship which is my 35 year dysfunctional marriage. I’m retired and cannot support myself finally at this time and neither can he, so we’re stuck. I didn’t act on my intuition which warned me a month before the wedding to call it off because my fiancé was too bossy and domineering.
If a man walks out without a reason that's means he already got what he wants from you and he's done with you so let it be. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
very disturbing
Empress Roses music
wow I feel lucky enough that two of my exs explained why we suddenly broke up and finding out it was not me but them and the reason why helped me to move on knowing deep down I am still worth of a women to find someone who is right for me. I never asked for closure, yes I felt sad and confused but five years after one after the other contacting me to explain and nothing else in return that is a God Blessing right there.
He's right. Men don't care. So basically, don't get too emotionally involved with them. Because if they leave - they're gone! No explanation, just ghosted! Sounds hard to do, but dating a few jerks will get you cold hearted enough to let it roll right off your back!
ifunanya24 if your dating jerks you should check yourself or raise your standards. Because no one forces you to actually date us. Remember no is a perfectly fine answer and if a guy asks you out. You don't have to say yes to everyone
then dont lash out and play blaming games. how jerky/low to hear 'no one forces you to actually date us'. no force? give pressure, manipulation, impose rules/dominant. give fxxk around.
he got me when he said did we not know it wasn’t going to work. kuz i told myself for months, it’s not gonna last, he’s not the one. i wasted my time but yet i sat here thinking why did he leave me
I love being a woman thank steave an its so true steave what your saying. ..an honestly even when men do give us closer we still want to to work it out with them. that's why I think guys don't give us closer lol.......they know what coming after that.lol
It's just common decency to share your reasons. Cuts both ways, regardless of gender.
No closure equals spiritually immature finite thinking selfishness! If a man truly knows how to express the love that is above humanistic love, and is above the finite emotionally fueled natural love (same thing)... he'll either man up and mend towards meaningful growth or provide appropriately considerate closure.
Once the relationship is over, the man doesn't owe his ex anything. Leave it alone and keep it moving. Stop with the "a real man would..." argument because hes not required to do anything.
Your intuition is real .. Steve knows how to flip the coin
It depends on who ends it. Men want closure when a girl breaks up with us but we rarely get it.
The person who ends it is bound to still have feelings for the other so unless they are completely heartless they feel uncomfortable and don’t want to drag it out. It is selfish but it goes both ways.
Descent is saying it's over instead of hurting your feeling,you can see if the relationship is good or going or not
Steve is right! Once a guy is done with you, he can care less of what you do after he is gone. Therefore, it is time that we let them go to and live our live without them as well. As Steve said, God gave us the beautiful gift of intuition, ladies, let's use it.
I sure don't. Once we are done we are done. You already got your answer. You really don't need the why in my opinion. Move on. I would rather be single and be happy and have peace of mind instead of letting someone live rent free there. Don't hold onto a relationship that is already over. Dont give someone power over you. Let go. You are old enough to know better and learn from the experience and do better next time.
I feel happier being alone, even though out of 5 friends, I'm the only one without a girlfriend/wife. I never see my friends fight with their significant other but I know there's something wrong when one of them calls up and asks if we wanna hang out. To get away from their problems, they need some time to think and advice from other people before women get their closure because men are afraid they're gonna say something wrong, whatever hatred they've left in the back of their mind comes spurting out
the advice Steve gave at the end was womp womp. you missed it on that one. you can't assume just because a women have a intuition that she know this relationship going to fail. for every guy that walked away unexpectedly and rudely it was hurtful and disappointing. no amount of intuition prepares you for that our gives you the closure we want and deserve. it's easy to say of well. but it's not easy to do.
dang auto correct messing up my words lol
+King Temisan this is talking about a situation where the guy is doing the breaking up, not the girl. if you as the guy are breaking up then why wouldn't you want the girl to move on? why would you want her to be stuck on you? that's immature and childish. and it should be the same if a girl wants to break up with a guy. we women give men closure, we make it clear why it's not going to work before we say bye.
***** lol I've never been in that scenario but what you says is sad but I believe and that is very ignorant and immature
***** lol at all guys are ignorant and immature, I guess that might be true. And you are probably right regarding the differences of men and women when they break up.
The main problem is answering the "why"
Most men don't love/like you any more
But don't want to hurt your feelings.
Not that they are not matured but
I see it as temperament issue
Some will just say it and are done and others will avoid that conversation
when it's the other way round and the girl wants to break up, men all of a sudden DO want closure... they hang on for months and don't want to believe it... the difference I see is that women don't want closure, they want to change the man's mind PLUS they want to change the man to fit their ideal... that is what men don't do: they NEVER want the girl to change in order to fit his ideals (not talking of the psychos here :)... they love and accept the woman the way she is, and that is the one big characteristic I love in men... WHEN they love, they love unconditionally
Well, fact is that women mostly are more social in general and thus (much) more caring in a releationship than men. Of course they would like to get something back, but most men don't do that. That is something nearly every woman wants to change, quite understandible I think. Also men tend to be more lazy in a relationship, e.g. they don't do their part of work at home. Again- absolutely understandible that women are not going to put up with this. And don't talk about "unconditional love" by men when they get all they need from a relationship whereas women mostly give more than they get.
Celisar1
I found that men ask for less. yes, they will take ALL they can get, but they don't make it a condition. yes, they don't do what they don't want to and that can be annoying, but I prefer that than sby constantly trying to change sby
+mssummerrose1
That's only because you are giving this benefit as a man. If you were at the other end of the bargain, you would like to chance that ATTITUDE too. So, it's not about the the men but how they behave.
+Celisar1
"because you are given the benefit..."
True, we think with our heart. We shouldn't. When you have a instinct and it tells you it's not working stop immediately before a guy dumps you. That's why ppl don't go to deep. Going deep hurts later.
In my experience men tend to be the ones who ask what they did wrong in the relationship and I have no issue with answering. I agree with the women, understanding our faults helps us be better people.
In my experience women cheated. I told her I needed to grow up and never told her about finding about her cheating. One time an ex got a new boyfriend that same night we broke up. lol And I wonder why I left.
If you don't know what you did, no man can help you. Women up and take responsibility for you own actions.
@@wanglee21 Why did you lie?
Maybe some don't give closure because they know that you'll muster up the resolve to actually close that door permanently.
Because women may not like the answer they get from "closure". It could backfire on the guy and make him out as the bad guy which could easily affect future relationships. Remember we are in the social media age and everything we do can easily be posted and shared 1000s of times. So a general rule of thumb is to be quiet, STFU, or keep the closure reason very simplified.
I move on without closure often..most people have no choice.. men don’t give usually closure, i figure the men don’t want me because if they did then we would still be together
lol imagine breaking up from a long term relationship with a person who was an incredibly significant part of your life and then telling them theyre not entitled to a reason. Yikes, what a mindset.
If you had no idea, then there was something seriously wrong with your own mindset
What's wrong with that mindset? In a mans mind, it serves no purpose because it's not going to change anything anyway.
@@geremymason5936 It doesn't have to change anything, but if 2 people are sharing their lives and bodily fluids for a significant period of time, the humane thing to do is to let them know and/or tell them why you are leaving. Just saying
@@4naymsakeRW I'm not commenting on whether it's right or wrong - that's a matter of opinion. I'm saying that if the other person doesn't want to say anything, they're not obligated to. No one is entitled to an explanation - sometimes people just need to hold the L and keep it moving.
@@geremymason5936 Its not about obligation, it's about showing respect to the person and the situation you had. When nothing is said it says not only are you just done, but you never cared about the time I spent with the person at all. People are so caught up in personal ego, that we humans treat each other like crap. On top of it most people are not evolved enough to take what they dish out if it happens to them in the future. They hate when someone does it to them. We just all need to do better IMO
It's kinda interesting how the ladies want a post break up analysis and summary with charts and pie graphs, but probably didn't think twice about the hordes of men they left in the dust throughout their life that they never gave an explanation to. Often times the shoe doesn't fit so we'll when it's on the other foot it seems.
This is the most hypocritical response from men. Because, why men demand to tell them what they did wrong yet when we ask for that we are label "crazy".
nope I get what you saying. that's why they don't give us the closer..cause us as women we try to fix stuff.we at times like a challenge. when it's done with a guy it's done. just don't put your heart into it an follow your gut . sisterhood.
+loveme champain It's like I'm living in a reverse world then ;o I have 2 ex-girlfriends.. They both broke up with me out of the blue and never said a word again. One day she loved me, the next day she's done ;s And it did also drive me crazy.. I don't even know where it came from.. So there's nothing to learn from that..
+RadioactiveGoose as a female I had done that my self I can speak from my earlier experience. um she still wants to be with you both of them are not over you.but they dislike what you did to them if that makes sense.lol they want you but not the baggage you bring though but iam Glad you moved on because the two girls needed to heal an get on your two feet.they wear weak an variable.they probably thought they could change you. I have a feeling they were young as well.but you did the right thing by not pursuing them. .they needed to grow on they own. 😄
@@RadioactiveGoose Exactly, nothing is learned by lack of communication
That intuition comment was extreme schmoozing. Kudos to you Harvey! And this is coming from a woman... I would've clapped too. It's 2019 now. Can I get a seat at this show? I love male v.s. female perspective comedy! I write to Bill Burr about it a lot.
It ended because the man didn’t want u move on ladies life goes on
Aminah A THANK YOU!!!!
Agreed!! Or even more simply put.. he just wasn't ready.
Exactly..
There's someone out there I owe closure.. And it has driven me crazy myself.
MEN the truth is, if women don't get closure then the women can easily carry the emotional baggage over into the next relationship. Now you may think, "well that;s none of my business". Well guess what, you're not doing the next man any favors and that women you're now attracted to, that man who had her before ain't dong you any favors either. So men, do the right thing and give women closure, if not for her, at least for your fellow "menship".....
No no no. You need to deal with your baggage and take some accountability before entering another relationship. Don't take baggage and treat the next guy bad because that's going to just repeat the cycle and you'll end up with more baggage. Some men do give closure and some don't. There are a variety of reasons and cases so it's hard to say.
Riversflowin0
Why should I care about how she treats him in another relationship I've moved on and working on my next that's the focal point not you anymore
Well said. That’s true . Better just give closure and say good bye nicely especially both ever spent nice time together. Act like real gentleman. Done with it then move on
Blaming men for everything xD. Take some responsibility
women like closure cuz we actually like to work and improve ourselves. knowing why helps us become better women
most of the time if the man dumps her he s done and he s probably told why lots of times but women makes excuses for their actions instead then the classic "what about you comes out " and that right is what we want to avoid .Now if its simple l ll tell you PS women are not always right and are accountable for your actions just the same
amen an sometimes we do that not even gone ague with that....
+richard carr Not always I always communicated with my boyfriend asking if everything was ok cuz he was acting weird and he said it was just stress and one day asked him directly do you want to break up ? and he denied and made me think it was all in my head next week he broke up with me so .....I guess it´depends on the person you are with how mature they are....
+Charlotte Maison l dont know the circumstances why he decided not just go ahead and get it over with ,possible he was not settled on his decision just yet But l will say this from my own experience ,during any relationship thoughts come and go randomly depending on what s going around them ,work home friends and the moods that go along with them .Along with their partner's moods and reactions ,those can trigger thoughts of doubt /regret etc AND things either go forward or stop from there BUT l m pretty sure that goes both for men and women .
richard carr yeah maybe but it hurts you know ppl need to go straight forward and tell the others the truth like I don´t love you anymore even tho it hurts it´s good to know so you know it´s nothing you did it is just that person doesnt feel the same as you ppl should be more brave when they walk away the person you were with gave you their time and that is something you can´t get back they at least deserve a descent and clear explanation. He told he still loved me and didn´t know if he was making the biggest mistake of his life and if he finds out if I could take him back...and asked me to be friends with him I tried but it hurt too much then I told him by a letter I still loved him and that is why I can´t be friends with him any longer it took me 3 weeks cuz I was unable to move on with the door kind of open you know ...so I think its about values either you are a guy or a woman.
+Charlotte Maison oh l ve been too many emotional roller coasters to count and sometimes its just best to walk away .Once l went back to talk to "her" about why l left and get my jacket back .All that came of it was no jacket and alot of excuses/lies (the 2nd being the main reason) that l no longer wanted to hear .BTW l saw my jacket yrs later on the guy she said she wasn't sleeping with ,MAC TOOLS special edition ,and he wasn't no mechanic but he was a tool :P
So going on that experience it was a waist of time and l should ve just let her figure it out on her own
Steve is so sincere.
Many men are scared to give women closure, but if the script was flipped, they would want closure. The person who is dumped is usually the one who is dying for closure.
I love Steve Harvey. ..he is a natural. .
I just lové this guy !!!
Ooo, the way Steve slides across the floor slipping punches like he Ali!
Don't know guys, I wouldn't agree on this one. It is very hurtful and quite shocking for a person for not knowing why you got dumped, were you a man or a woman it sucks and I bet a lot of us found ourselves in similiar situations at one point of our lives. Because afterall, if you invested so much time and effort into something you expect you should atleast deserve a chance for a decent goodbye and to know why you found yourself in that position in the first place. To conclude, I would say this is more of a human question than it is a question related to a woman only.
The disrespect and betrayal is closure for me. No Contact.
everyone deserves the right to having closure. I thinks it's selfish and cowardly when you just walk away.
PREACH!!
When a relationship ends, you dont owe that person anything. Them forcing you into a closure conversation is pretty much stalking.
Did your man leave you like that for better one ? Lol
I feel like this is the ONE thing women are right in. If you end it, I feel like its respectful to tell them why. Thats all, leave. Tell them why. Say goodbye. It doesnt have to be a 5 hour convo. Just 15 minutes to explain it. Dont get into an argument, just explain it. They deserve it.
Bryson Tiller - Sorry Not Sorry
Women ask for closure so that we can find a firm answer that makes our hearts feel better, what we already know in our brains in order to move forward without any remorse or guilt in our past relation.
An ex's job isn't to "make you feel better". Get a grip.
Just like my guy says Steve on point!! I just don't care.. When I leave I'm gone and you won't know it. Closure = emotions! We just don't do it period.
Women ARE emotional creatures, some more so than others but we are still emotional creatures nonetheless. If men don't want to get tangled up in a woman's emotions don't pursue women, pursue men. Obviously if you can't grow a set and deal with the emotions than you better start getting in the right mindset to satisfy your sexual appetite with other men.
@@erikatamayo1925 Definition of bitter=YOU
Actually to say that men don't want closure is completely wrong, and to say that women always want or need closure is completely wrong. The person, male or female, that needs closure is almost always the one who got dumped. It's that simple.
As a guy, I would tell my gf the reason why if I break up with her. And i would hope she would do the same. Guys should start doing that because it is pretty selfish when someone doesn't do that.
Steve really gives good advice from a man's perspective.
Honestly it’s all about how much respect you have for that person once things are over. If you don’t have respect when it ends, what makes you think they’re gonna care to “explain” and give examples, etc. They’re no longer obligated to tell you anything anymore. 😂😂😂😂😂 I get it bc I’m a young woman but understand when things are over. Accept it & move on sis.
Those same men who won't give closure would be dying for closure if the shoe was on the other foot
In my country, it happens totally the opposite
We man asked for closure :-\
Honestly, every time I broke up with a woman, I gave her a reason as to why I'm walking away along with why I won't change my mind. Once I check out emotionally, that's it, I'm done so as far as I'm concern, I'll be as straightforward and honest as I need to be but otherwise, once its over its over and there's no going back.
Netherwolf6100 At least you had a dialogue with her/them at the end. My ex of 28 years had no apology or explanation for his cheating, lying, embezzling ways even with a marital counselor. So I divorced him. I learned that I couldn't force an apology or explanation from him and cut my losses. It was very hurtful and disrespectful of him, and I at least deserved an apology for why he sought out his old high school girlfriend on FB. At least now I know I will retire in comfort, as I don't have to worry about paying his bills (he loved to spend money he didn't have).
mickyunit Damn sorry you had to deal with that. In my mind, when it comes to the feelings of others and a relationship, there's little worse than a coward who's too afraid to be up front with their feelings, even if said reasons are selfish and shallow. Those who can't even openly acknowledge what they're doing to others don't deserve the right to be happy in my mind.
Steve hit it right on the head - its not the mans problem. Equating it with a job is not realistic. A job tells you so that they do not get hit with an unlawful termination lawsuit so its nowhere near the same.