Hello brothers and sisters. I would just like to recommend that everyone read the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. Reading that book was the best desicion I ever made.
I have come from a place where loving, caring parenting was non existent! Unfortunately I have absorbed a lot of my parents disengaged, self centered style of parenting and it devastates me constantly. My beautiful kids are the most precious thing to me in the world so thank you for giving me the tools to work & be the dad they deserve!
Your comment hit me like an emotional ton of bricks! Your acknowledgment of where you are and your goal of where you want to be shows your humility and your strong desire for change. Also, don’t be shy about telling your kids that you’re sorry and you’re really trying to do better; it shows them you care. I wish you and your family all the happiness you deserve!
Just make sure to remind your kids that the outside world is not going to owe them the same kindness, and compassion your household will afford them. And when they go out and find that out, they'll feel like they should be entitled to it. And that is hardly ever the case. 😉 It's a joy to know there are people who take on parenting as a chance for self improvement also. Good luck, and YOU CAN DO IT!
I hear you Scott 🙋🏻♂️ Parenting is challenging & it's easy to repeat our parents' style. I believe when you or any parent recognize that then you are way ahead & can make the change 🦸♂️ Parenting is challenging yet so important 💗 I'm learning every day with my child too 🕵️♂️🦸♂️ God Bless 👼🙏✝️💗
Emotions are so contagious. One has to consciously and deliberately determine not catch the other person's anger. A very challenging thing to do!!! So adults need to humbly work on their own emotional intelligence.
I just had an empathic breakdown because I realized that the children only copy how the adults react in the house, including me, I needed this video so I can learn how to better respond, rather than react and prepare for my own children. Thank you.
Currently having a foster child who is 2 and very aggressive, with herself, and others. Trying my best to stay as empathetic as possible. Thank you for this.
My son is 4 and this evening had a tantrum, a storm, as you described it. Thankfully, I could remain calm even though it wasen't that easy as I am pregnant at 39 weeks!! Parenting is a big responsablity really !! Thank you so much for all that you share with us. Love & Respect from Canada ❤.
I find these talks so useful, both for my daughter (now a teenager) and for the children I work with (I am a teaching assistant working with 8-10 year olds, with a special interest in looking after children's emotional wellbeing). I found when my daughter was three or four, she would get incredibly angry about certain things, such as having to stay home if she was ill (she loved school and learning). I would let her have a shout and a stomp, leave it a while and then later on ask her about what happened, and we would talk it through. Sometimes I would get a doll or teddy to have a tantrum and then we would talk to the toy in a calm way about what what was going on. Then next time we saw a "storm" on the horizon (eg missing school or not being able to do something) we could pre-empt the situation before it got to meltdown. Thanks, Paul - all so helpful.
The most honest thing I can say about being a parent is that it is shattering. In amazing ways and devastating ways. The louder my little one gets, the softer, more quiet my voice gets.
I am glad to hear you are controlling what you can control, missY sterlinG. You are right, there are so many emotions that come with parenting. No one can be totally prepared for it. We just have to experience it to understand. Thank you for commenting.
My younger sister is having anger issues and you know I have been in that place so I can understand that she is now going through puberty .... I am trying my best to be patient with her and understand her ... I know that I am not the best so I wanted to do some more research so that I can be more efficient and your video was really useful
This is the best video about this topic, I have ever seen. The problem is: I do all this things by intuition, and have done them for years, but I don't know, what to do, to help my son to regulate his feelings. If he feels anger, it can takes him hours to calm down. He is very sensitive and he seems to feel every emotion with an intensity, I can not imagine and he is unable to let go of his anger. So , yes, all this tips are pure gold, in the situation, when your child is feeling anger, but it doesn't solve the problem.
Anu Menon, you are welcome. I hope the video helped - thank you for watching. We do have more on the Positive Parenting playlist that I hope you can also find useful: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html
Hello! I just want to say, and let you all know, you are my new (first and only I blushling admit) life coach! I never believed in any of this "calming demeanor" type of attitude approach to ANY of life's situations. But I soon learned from you, my first mistake was looking at life as just that, a situation! You have tough me so much in such a short period of time, and can't start our end a day without your positive advise. I want to say thank you, because as a human yourself, you never fail to not give good advice on daily living pushing your own to the side of just for a moment to help others first. You have no idea how you have changed my life by making me see myself as a company different person.... No matter how hard self admittance actually was. Your an amazingly beautiful person, and I truly respect you and your words!
Thank you! You think kids can forgive? I lost control one time and I was starting yelling and threatening my one kid. Telling him I will leave him forever. 😥
I can't get enough of your motivating videos...thank you so much for sharing these ideas with us! I'm a europen mom of 3 little ones and sometimes (often:) feel quite lost. By listening to you I get confidence immediately, and know that things are just all right. Thank you for having you.:)
Our daughter is almost 3, and she is very strong-willed and she is verbally strong. She has had a period of throwing tantrums, yelling, even slapping me. It was better and I was so happy about that, since I'm dealing with anxiety and a depression myself. But since she started to go to school, it became worse again. She even yells "No", "go away" or "leave me alone" and doesn't want her dad. I'm struggling, it is so so hard. Sometimes I just want to scream, pull at my own hair, hurt myself,.. I'm all about communication and expressing feelings, but she seems to get angry about everything and is just acting out. I feel defeated, I can't handle it any more and feel awful. Yesterday it got really bad, and afterwards we talked about it. And she reacted with: but I can't help it..
Samantha Vanhess, she needs to see you handling your problems and you can share appropriately how something has upset you and how you are handling the problem. Consider some counseling to help you sort these feelings and come up with some positive ways to deal with your daughter.
I wish I would have found your videos a few years ago and learned all this stuff as you're absolutely amazing. Like I have taken a ton of courses on parenting children with ADHD and anger management and learned a lot but the way you explain things it is a lot simpler to understand and it is explained a lot better so far. As I have a son who is 13 in a few weeks and a daughter who will be 11 but acts like a 18yr old in behaviors like being little miss mom I joke around about when people ask me what she is like. She is extremely mature for her age and so is my oldest son but he does have anger issues that we have been working on. And I have a heck of a time to get them to even go upstairs to grab me something without them demanding $5 as they get paid from my parents when they are they to pick something up off the floor and no matter how many times I tell my parents as a single mother that was force to retire due to an injury preventing me from being able to work it is something I can't do and that they need to set it as something as you get a sticker or so for doing these chores and when you get this many you get this or that. And my parents will agree and then keep doing what they have been doing.
Thanks for this Dr. Paul. It really helps to be reminded. Am a mother of two boys 3 and 5.. and its really challenging .. every is a struggle and thats why am looking for helpful videos.. bought some parenting books .. CALM voice is the NUMBER One.. but The hardest for me when Am triggerred.. because my childhood was hard too and its obvious that am repeating it towards my precious kids and I really dont like me on this.. so as my husband.. Thank you thank you so much .. God bless you more and more power to your channel.. thanks for living with purpose by helping us parents.. ❤
Like Kristy below, I'm finding that kids who are difficult to deal with at school are actually raising themselves. Their parents have no idea. I'm recommending this channel and professional help.
God sent me to you videos...and im so thankful for the time you took to make videos that educate mothers like me. The wide range of life lessons to helping me become a better version of myself🙏I'm raising 3 beautiful childern❤and i could never afford the time to take real life parenting classes and even if i could the convenience of being able to watch and learn anywhere anytime, by me having a busy schedule is such a blessing🙌Thank you so much and may God bless you and your gift‼
Thank you for explaining things in a simple way! This makes me a little more confident about discussing behavior management at my son's IEP meeting next week.
Re: your guidance on the punching a pillow - I've heard another good piece of advice from Martin Kirk, a really good positive parenting guy who used to foster a lot of ADHD kids... and he'd always say let's do something active like throw a football. Whenever he was worked up himself he'd just do some pushups and the kids would associate activity with getting control of your anger - but not doing something directly angry with it, just getting it out of you another way.
Dev Lunsford, many ADHD kids really need physical work and that that is why pushups and other similar activities work. Many smart teachers and therapists start with a physical activity and transition to classwork. Thank you for commenting.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV interesting insight. Does shifting energy into exercise work for ordinary grumpy parents too? Hope so... now just need to remember it in the moment before shouting....
This Channel has been God sent 🙏🏼 . Thank you for putting this information out there . I’ve been having a really hard time trying to understand my 2 year old . Now I’m really understanding his emotions.
I work at a student care and I have a student that gets extremely frustrated and agitated easily. He also gets really angry and lashes out and runs out of class. I love him so much but I desperately want to help him to regulate his emotions
Dear Sir your explanation is very helpful and mesmerising I had been thinking what to do with my grand child's anger ( he is my best friend) no I fully understood his condition is normal and how to handle it both his parents are worried of his behaviour now every thing is ok thank God and for you bye...
My 6 year old grandson has major anger issues. He has Apraxia of Speech, which we believe is the root of his anger and anxiety. He has been involved in speech therapy for 3 years, but still struggles and with the diagnosis of Apraxia, probably always will. He lashes out in anger, hitting and kicking anyone and anything in his path. He lives in a small area with very little help available. My daughter is beside herself and I don’t know how to help. I live over 20 hours from them. They are military and have frequent moves. I’d take any advice anyone wants to give!
I have an 11 year old sister who immediately gets mad when something goes wrong or does not get what she wants. She barely listens to us and we often end up in a yelling contest. Sometimes she'll break stuff also. I know she can change but I don't know how to start helping her, since we're not really close because we used to fight everyday before which is wrong. But believe me, she's very intelligent and does well in School. She's a varsity player also. But her attitude when not in School is soo different, when we don't follow her she'll get mad. I always try to keep my composure and managed to reduce those yelling moments, but she still barely listens to us. :(
My Little sister is 3 And she has non stopped been going She Gets Angry all the time it has gotten out of control to the point where she doesn't want to bath , Eat the right foods She often tells me she's sad i just want her to be Happy This Video really helped thank you
M wondering how could I miss this channel because I c that d videos were uploaded long enough for me to discover. My son is going to b 4soon this August & I couldn’t be more grateful for ur selfless lesson. Gratitude 🇨🇭
You are amazing! Love all your videos and you make so much sense and are so so on point. I understand that in the beginning of implementing your techniques it feels like it won’t work but we have to stop and think how long did it take my child to get to this point. Well it will take time for you and him to get this corrected as well. My boys went tru a nasty divorce and there mother used lots of verbal and physical abuse and lots of restraining, you talk about restraining becoming abuse. I thank god and your videos that I have yet to resort to restraining. The boys now live with me and things are getting so much better. At times I thought I would not be able to help them but like you say, the weather will pass. True! God bless you and thank you!
Great tips. I have zero clue what’s going on with my 7 y/o son. I try these modeling behaviors at home and he does okay. But it seems the aggression and anger (stemming from frustrations) are coming out at school and I’m not there to have that one on one with him. It seems like he goes from 0-10. When he gets pulled aside he calms down, but it’s like he doesn’t have that moment where he pauses and thinks how to react, he just reacts. 😔 it’s been going on for while (since he was in pre-k) and it seems to be getting worse. Talk about feeling like a huge parent failure.
Thank you for bringing up the punching a pillow idea. I was taught that by my parents, and although I used it as a kid I never liked the way it made me feel. So of course I implemented it with my kids because I didn't have any better tools in bag, but now I do!
I swear sometimes my son just needs to be mad. One time he threw such a fit I did have to hold him in a hug. What surprised me was his declaration of, "this isn't scaring you." Like he was surprised. No idea where that came from or what was behind that but I haven't had to hold him like that much sense. He may have been 3.
See it hard for me since my son hits and throws hard things. Throws his food on the floor, and screaming like i do when he passed all my limits and ive been calm all day and dealt with his wrong doing all day. But ill still take all this advice and try harder. Hes been so bad. And like you said i have to deal with my husband who belittles me and uses foul words with me that i dont want him teaching my son. Its a constant battle between my son and my husband. Most of them do it at the same time. I feel extremely defeated afterwards. :(
Would you please also do a video on dealing with overly compliant kids? My youngest (17 years old daughter) is on the autism spectrum. She is so overly compliant and accommodating to everyone. I worry so about encouraging her to have more confidence and helping her to plan her future.
1Melody1963, I understand your worry. I will have to think on this. It will take lots of talks with her to understand that not everyone has her best interests at heart and come up with some boundaries.
My 4 year old son is angry from the moment he wakes up, and up to the moment it’s time to go to bed. I’m going insane. Idk what else to do?! I show him love and affection, play with him, etc etc. I don’t neglect him, I don’t abuse him, or make him angry (on purpose) so what’s the reason he acts this way? I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I just cry myself to sleep. I’m mentally exhausted. He yells, cries, and is just so mean 24/7
ViviannaReynoso, I feel your anguish. If at all possible, take him to a doctor to see if there are any underlying physical issues. They may also be able to direct you to other resources. These 2 videos may give you some additional ideas: "How To Manage Kids' Anger" - th-cam.com/video/oHbNI5yxNmQ/w-d-xo.html "How To Calm An Angry Child" - th-cam.com/video/ehxqACWkxcg/w-d-xo.html Lastly, I want you to be aware that we are offering a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches. They may be able to help you further. If you would like to schedule a call, please go here: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall Best wishes to you, and know that you are doing great.
Martha Ramirez, my heart goes out to you 2 mothers. I now it is very difficult. Please read what I wrote to ViviannaReynoso and consider doing the same. Best wishes. DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
Always remember: Kids + sugar/caffeine = great chances of hyperactive / behavioral disorder My step sister had hyperactive / behavioral disorder at age 3 so my dad removed sugar from her diet. He saw a huge difference right away in the first couple days. It ended her disorders. Also be sure to pray for your kids' salvation and spiritual maturity every day. It should lessen the need to restrict their diet so much as they get older. It should also lessen the need for boot camp when they become teenagers.
Any video suggestions on redirecting aggressive behavior in school, trying to prevent the child from running away and fighting you and throwing everything ?
Sonia Guerra, I have no idea what makes the child tick and what has been tried. What does the counselor suggest? Have you tried a reward system? Ask the child what they want (more recess time, to play a game with an adult or other child, to have a lunch partner, etc.) Then set up a way for them to get the reward daily or even more often if needed at first.
Dr Paul, I really appreciate your insight & wisdom 💗 I like how you say "be wise & judicious" when dealing with child's anger/aggression - so important to keep in mind when parent feels overwhelmed. I'm so glad to hear you don't recommend punching pillows because many so called "professionals" do say to do that , which is so counterproductive & wrong to teach children 😯 You are a blessing & helping so many people 🦸♂️💗 God Bless you and all who struggle/strive to be the best parent we can be for our child/children 👨🎨🕵️♂️👼🙏🕊✝️💗🦸♂️🦸♀️
So I am young and have EXTREME i'll say "Anger Issues" and when I get mad about something at home I shout and scream,sometimes I can even say a swear word or two, I wanna get therapy as I can be quite aggressive and wanna calm down a bit, so your videos have helped me! thx!!!(btw my mum won't get my therapy imma ask her like sometime idk)
My 3 year old daughter is having a hard time managing her emotions and sometimes the frustration is too big that she gets overwhelmed and doesn’t want to cooperate or communicate, I can hardly handle it anymore and I feel like I messed up my job as a parent. Her anxiety has gone away too far now for her to be able to be around other kids at school, don’t know what to do 😢
For my toddler ( recently turned 2) when he gets upset with something. He often gets frustrated and starts yelling and throws himself to the ground or something to that magnitude. When he starts to get upset my first words are slow down and breathe. Not in a condescending way, but I soften my tone and say ssllloow ddoowwnn..bbrreeaathe (partly reminding myself to slow down and not act quickly out of my frustration). I follow up with offering opens arms and saying "Use your words". I know he could have trouble articulating some words so I'll also ask him "What were you trying to do" or I'll plainly give him the words he needs for that situation. I repeat what he told me back to him to show him I unserstand. Like "you were trying to stack your blocks, but they kept falling down. That made you frustrated". Once his feelings are validated and we understand each other he calms down fairly quickly. Depending on the situation and where we are (like at the grandparents house). Sometimes if he starts throwing a fit I'll ask him if we need to go to the next room to calm down (I like to give him that privacy) He'll often say "no". Then I'll ask him if he can calm down by himself and he'll say "yes" and settle down. Sometimes we still need to go to the next room to calm down. I'm trying to give him a methodology to getting upset and to give him the words he needs to express himself. Part of the time it seems like they get the most upset when no one can understand what they are trying to convey. I think that can also leave them feeling lonely and maybe a little ostracized at times when they can't communicate properly.
You are doing great! My son is almost 5, and he dealt with the same issues as your son since the age of 18 months. He would also slam his head into tables, walls, floors, concrete, and glass windows when he would get overwhelmed/frustrated.. he also went through about a year and a half phase where he hit, bit, kicked and slapped me. I thought I would never get through it. But I did pretty much the exact things you do, and it really did help him to calm down plus helping them find the words to explain their emotions also really helps Mom to mom hug 🤗
Im exhausted and out of ideas. My 12 year old goes to extremes when he is asked to do chores or schoolwork. He basically goes from I should never have been born and really it’s such a simple request being asked. It’s so hard parenting him most days. He actually provokes me and picks at my nerves till I’m frustrated and angry too.
I was abused mentally, physically and emotionally up to the age of 19. I tried to protect my son from what I'd been through and really tried to be patient and understanding whilst he was growing up. He was the sweetest, most caring, compassionate child. I encouraged him to express all emotions because I was taught to suppress mine. Unfortunately my partner is emotionally unavailable and had me suppressing my emotions and rejected our son when he would cry. He was very dismissive. This has really affected our son. During the pandemic i was triggered by my childhood trauma. I was left to look after our son on my own as my husband walked away from us being unable to deal with what I was going through this. I found myself full of anger. I could hear my parents voice in my head as I communicated with my son. I knew it was wrong but couldn't stop myself. My son is now full of anger. He cannot control his emotions at all even in situations like me saying "you can't watch TV later, let's do this first and then you can watch TV". He wants what he wants. There are no alternatives. I'm losing myself all over trying to help but nothings working. I'm drowning in guilt now. I use the right words etc but he's not listening. He only knows he's hurt. I did wrong by saying no.
Using words...only works when they're listening. Mine will tune out completely and nothing I say matters. Once again, how to teach smaller children to soothe themselves, calm themselves down. What is a good technique?
Some kids do well with breathing techniques, others with a small brush they can use on their arms or legs. Sometimes it is helpful in training them to think of something else or sing a song. Try some things and see what works for your child.
My 4 year old grandson acts out every day and throws anything at us when something doesn't go right for him. I have never seen a child this angry before. His dad is a absent person in his life and visits when it is convenient. Everyday anger is not normal. He has been diagnosed with Severe ADHD and ODD.
Thanks for this . I’m struggle with my 5 years old son as he getting this anger management .as he doesn’t know how to control it . When he get angry he keep talking and aggressive word coming out. I don’t know what to do .
@@LiveOnPurposeTV at home his good at school set up the one he struggle the most . That’s why I don’t understand why he acting differently. He has a lot of problem at school . He doesn’t know how to socialize that’s what we thought but speaking of it he doesn’t do hurt people when his not at school. Is it the environment? Or the school ? I’m don’t know what to think . School always reports his hurting his classmate . And when he go home his keep telling us his classmate always say thing and feel hurt about it . That’s why we thought he might depending himself . Should we try moving him other school?
I'm so sorry for you both. I came from a home of both parents either disengaged or explosive. If it's any comfort my brother and I have turned out ok and I am particularly unphased by most of life's annoyances. Maybe try to think of your upbringing as a vaccine against being bothered by the little things that people who have had ideal childhoods can't handle. We are able to cope with pretty much anything!!!
Back when I was a kid, I was really bratty. I had no idea how my parents felt, I just said what was on my mind. Now that I know, I hate my past self. I wish I could slap some sense into my 7 year old self, but I'm stuck with the guilt of being ungrateful. Maybe it's the aspergers talking but I honestly feel like a failure sometimes.
we are meant to learn and grow. Looking back and seeing how far you have come is helpful, looking back and feeling bad over and over is not helpful. Let it go and be the best person you can be now.
I have a very angry child. He closed fist punched me in the face today after a weekend with his dad. His dad has anger issues. I am more loving and gentle. I am lost! He is very agressive toward me. Especially when I'm trying to disipline, I get at his level and do everything I've watched.
nina johns, I hope there are consequences when he hits. Having said that, transition time from his dads may require some special routines. We have found that kids need some alone time when they transition from one house to another. Give him some space and probably some therapy to figure out his feelings.
Pray for your kids' salvation and spiritual maturity every day. Never give up. Always you have to love, honor, respect and obey God for His discipline is stern. Also, never neglect to Tithe , it is God's biblical law. One day I layed my hand on my spouse's shoulder and said to him, "Be born again in the name of Jesus." And he has been changed by God's grace ever since. He is so much more positive now, so much less angry.
Sir, I am from India....my kid is 7 yrs old now...we are a join family..my son was pampered by my inlaws..his grand parents...now a days my son is getting anger for small things and starts hitting me and for nothing he is asking me to ask sorry to him then he is cooling down becoming normal. If he goes out to play with his friends he can not accept failure while playing and he immediately comes to me and complain....please please help me to change his habit....
Sujitha Venkatesh, when your son comes to you, tell him he needs to solve his problems with his friends. When he is angry, tell him that when he is able to talk to you as you are talking to him, then you will listen, not until then.
But what do you do when they do this in school or daycare and they want to bring thebstate in because the state limits them severely in child management. Sorry asked too quick question answered awesome. Thank you so much.
How do you handle temper tantrums in public? My 3 year old, yesterday actually, decided to have a temper tantrum in the middle of a crowded store while we were standing in line. She started hitting me, so I held her hands to stop her. Then she started kicking, not just me, but the other people in line. She gets angry alot and I struggle with how to handle it.
When I had little children, I would remove them from the store and put them in the car until they settled down. I would stand outside the car and let them cry. This didn't happen with all my children, but it worked. The child learned how to behave in the store. Set the expectations before you enter. It may mess up your day a bit, but you are raising children for life. Hang in there, aysia floyd.
It’s funny how we put ourselves in time out with our kids, but it works and shows how much we support our beliefs by being there in timeout by their side.
Always remember: Kids + sugar/caffeine = evil hell My step sister had hyperactive/behavioral disorder at age 3 so my dad removed sugar from her diet and he saw a huge difference in the first couple of days. It ended her disorders so he kept sugar out of her diet. He fed her meats, veggies and a few crackers or very low sugar cereals once in a while for snacks. Very low sugar berries. Right now start praying for your kids' salvation and spiritual maturity every day. God tells us to pray in Jesus' name. Pray like: "God please give my kids salvation and spiritual maturity, I pray in the name of Jesus, amen." Praying this every day should reduce the need to restrict their sugar intake so much as they get older. It should also greatly reduce the need for boot camp when they become teenagers. Let me tell you that one day I layed my hand on my spouse's shoulder and said to him, "Be born again in the name of Jesus." And he has been changed by God's grace ever since. He is so much more positive now, so much less angry.
Also I know someone who was delivered from smoking and alcohol addiction through water baptism. It changed him forever more also. I heard it is wrong to baptize in the name of the father , son and holy spirit. The right way to baptize is in Jesus' name. I know someone, he was on the very verge of suicide, overwhelmed with depression, anger and addiction he uttered a prayer "God save me." to a God he wasn't even sure existed. Well God heard him, revealed Himself to him and changed him that very moment. Not lost in despair anymore, he is a new person to this day, full of peace and joy of the Lord ever since. I hope this I talked about helps you somehow and if you need it in the future. God's love n blessings! Good luck!
Thank you! Love it! I work w kindergartens. I'm going into work tomorrow feeling more confident on how to deal w a few that are little ruffians 😊🔻🔴🔳👏ABC's
Myrus Timtim, have you talked to your doctor to see if there is something medically wrong? If you need parent coaching, get in touch, www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
What If My Child Just Doesn't Care About Consequences - th-cam.com/video/Eu9_EXaVzOo/w-d-xo.html
The link to the free e-book doesn't work.
Hello brothers and sisters. I would just like to recommend that everyone read the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. Reading that book was the best desicion I ever made.
I have come from a place where loving, caring parenting was non existent! Unfortunately I have absorbed a lot of my parents disengaged, self centered style of parenting and it devastates me constantly. My beautiful kids are the most precious thing to me in the world so thank you for giving me the tools to work & be the dad they deserve!
It is all about having the skills, Scott Bateman, and you can learn these. You can change the cycle.
Your comment hit me like an emotional ton of bricks! Your acknowledgment of where you are and your goal of where you want to be shows your humility and your strong desire for change. Also, don’t be shy about telling your kids that you’re sorry and you’re really trying to do better; it shows them you care. I wish you and your family all the happiness you deserve!
Just make sure to remind your kids that the outside world is not going to owe them the same kindness, and compassion your household will afford them. And when they go out and find that out, they'll feel like they should be entitled to it. And that is hardly ever the case. 😉 It's a joy to know there are people who take on parenting as a chance for self improvement also. Good luck, and YOU CAN DO IT!
I hear you Scott 🙋🏻♂️ Parenting is challenging & it's easy to repeat our parents' style. I believe when you or any parent recognize that then you are way ahead & can make the change 🦸♂️ Parenting is challenging yet so important 💗 I'm learning every day with my child too 🕵️♂️🦸♂️ God Bless 👼🙏✝️💗
I'm there with you. Im struggling alot as a parent to my 5 year old. I also didn't have loving parenting and as result have a lot of anger myself.
Emotions are so contagious. One has to consciously and deliberately determine not catch the other person's anger. A very challenging thing to do!!! So adults need to humbly work on their own emotional intelligence.
Amiens Arabellis, so true. If we each worked on our emotional intelligence, the next generation would benefit so much (and so would we).
I just had an empathic breakdown because I realized that the children only copy how the adults react in the house, including me, I needed this video so I can learn how to better respond, rather than react and prepare for my own children. Thank you.
Dee, you can do this. We are here for you.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you SO MUCH! You’re a blessing.
This happened to me recently also and it was a very hard but necessary pill to swallow
That’s why it’s called “parenting” and not “childing” it’s the parents who are actually being trained!
Haha, so true, Kristi Delgado. I will use this one.
Kristi Delgado is bad 😡🥵🤬🤬🤬
Live On Purpose TV 📺
and the Nannies!!! I need major "nanning"
Anyone with kids who are really aggressive look up PCIT training.., it’s changed the dynamic in my house. Much more calm and peaceful.
Thank you for the suggestion.
A-Plus!!! In fact, I'm gonna use "when you can talk to me, with the same voice that I'm using with you, we can solve this" at my JOB!!!!
YES! We need to be more civil and be accountable wherever we are.
Currently having a foster child who is 2 and very aggressive, with herself, and others. Trying my best to stay as empathetic as possible. Thank you for this.
Anna Cama, you are very welcome.
My son is 4 and this evening had a tantrum, a storm, as you described it. Thankfully, I could remain calm even though it wasen't that easy as I am pregnant at 39 weeks!! Parenting is a big responsablity really !! Thank you so much for all that you share with us. Love & Respect from Canada ❤.
Fedwa Ouslimane, honored to be on your team.
Ea
Please remember to pray for your child daily. This has helped me when nothing else seems to work.🙏
Verna Harris, it can be a powerful thing.
Pray to Allah? Yaweh? Which of the 10sand 1000s of conflicting non reconcilable interpretations of?
@@nixodian I pray to the God of the Holy Bible.
@@vernaharris4700 indeed...The Holy Spirit calms everyone when He is present in the home. Invoke and invite Him daily.That is key...
I find that making a blood sacrifice to Bael and sometimes doing a little incantation helps drive out demons when nothing else works.
Thanks. I was having a hard time controlling my own emotions when my son was acting out.
Glad you are here at the channel.
I find these talks so useful, both for my daughter (now a teenager) and for the children I work with (I am a teaching assistant working with 8-10 year olds, with a special interest in looking after children's emotional wellbeing). I found when my daughter was three or four, she would get incredibly angry about certain things, such as having to stay home if she was ill (she loved school and learning). I would let her have a shout and a stomp, leave it a while and then later on ask her about what happened, and we would talk it through. Sometimes I would get a doll or teddy to have a tantrum and then we would talk to the toy in a calm way about what what was going on. Then next time we saw a "storm" on the horizon (eg missing school or not being able to do something) we could pre-empt the situation before it got to meltdown.
Thanks, Paul - all so helpful.
Sara C., you are brilliant. Calm and taking the steps to teach her how to become emotionally resilient. Wonderful.
The most honest thing I can say about being a parent is that it is shattering. In amazing ways and devastating ways. The louder my little one gets, the softer, more quiet my voice gets.
I am glad to hear you are controlling what you can control, missY sterlinG. You are right, there are so many emotions that come with parenting. No one can be totally prepared for it. We just have to experience it to understand. Thank you for commenting.
Me too I get scAred
My younger sister is having anger issues and you know I have been in that place so I can understand that she is now going through puberty .... I am trying my best to be patient with her and understand her ... I know that I am not the best so I wanted to do some more research so that I can be more efficient and your video was really useful
PHEONIX, thank you. I love that you are getting more information and ideas on how to help her.
This is the best video about this topic, I have ever seen.
The problem is: I do all this things by intuition, and have done them for years, but I don't know, what to do, to help my son to regulate his feelings. If he feels anger, it can takes him hours to calm down. He is very sensitive and he seems to feel every emotion with an intensity, I can not imagine and he is unable to let go of his anger. So , yes, all this tips are pure gold, in the situation, when your child is feeling anger, but it doesn't solve the problem.
Mijal Heinrich, thank you, glad our paths crossed.
My ADHD child has anger issues.. throwing things, lot of shouting at home .😥. Thank you for this video.
Anu Menon, you are welcome. I hope the video helped - thank you for watching. We do have more on the Positive Parenting playlist that I hope you can also find useful: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html
Same here
Aq
I have had good results with adding biofeedback to your mental health team along with adhd coaching.
Same.
What would I do without you, you are such an inspiration. ❤
Honored to be on your team.
I started crying on ”get some help!”. Thank you so much 💛🙏
You are so welcome
Hello! I just want to say, and let you all know, you are my new (first and only I blushling admit) life coach! I never believed in any of this "calming demeanor" type of attitude approach to ANY of life's situations. But I soon learned from you, my first mistake was looking at life as just that, a situation! You have tough me so much in such a short period of time, and can't start our end a day without your positive advise. I want to say thank you, because as a human yourself, you never fail to not give good advice on daily living pushing your own to the side of just for a moment to help others first. You have no idea how you have changed my life by making me see myself as a company different person.... No matter how hard self admittance actually was. Your an amazingly beautiful person, and I truly respect you and your words!
Brandy Marie Grizzard, I am so honored to be on your team.
You just saved me Very right now as my 5 year old was throwing a tantrum. We weathered the storm, Thank You. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
JSoul, so glad to hear it.
Thank you! You think kids can forgive? I lost control one time and I was starting yelling and threatening my one kid. Telling him I will leave him forever. 😥
Constantin Caluda, yes, kids can forgive and we can do better. Your child will needs lots of assurance of your love.
Wish I had these video's when my children where young thanks
Natasha Lapin, my pleasure.
I can't get enough of your motivating videos...thank you so much for sharing these ideas with us! I'm a europen mom of 3 little ones and sometimes (often:) feel quite lost. By listening to you I get confidence immediately, and know that things are just all right. Thank you for having you.:)
KNV Katalin, sounds like you are right on track! Thankful you are watching.
Our daughter is almost 3, and she is very strong-willed and she is verbally strong. She has had a period of throwing tantrums, yelling, even slapping me. It was better and I was so happy about that, since I'm dealing with anxiety and a depression myself. But since she started to go to school, it became worse again. She even yells "No", "go away" or "leave me alone" and doesn't want her dad. I'm struggling, it is so so hard. Sometimes I just want to scream, pull at my own hair, hurt myself,.. I'm all about communication and expressing feelings, but she seems to get angry about everything and is just acting out. I feel defeated, I can't handle it any more and feel awful. Yesterday it got really bad, and afterwards we talked about it. And she reacted with: but I can't help it..
Samantha Vanhess, she needs to see you handling your problems and you can share appropriately how something has upset you and how you are handling the problem. Consider some counseling to help you sort these feelings and come up with some positive ways to deal with your daughter.
I wish I would have found your videos a few years ago and learned all this stuff as you're absolutely amazing. Like I have taken a ton of courses on parenting children with ADHD and anger management and learned a lot but the way you explain things it is a lot simpler to understand and it is explained a lot better so far. As I have a son who is 13 in a few weeks and a daughter who will be 11 but acts like a 18yr old in behaviors like being little miss mom I joke around about when people ask me what she is like. She is extremely mature for her age and so is my oldest son but he does have anger issues that we have been working on. And I have a heck of a time to get them to even go upstairs to grab me something without them demanding $5 as they get paid from my parents when they are they to pick something up off the floor and no matter how many times I tell my parents as a single mother that was force to retire due to an injury preventing me from being able to work it is something I can't do and that they need to set it as something as you get a sticker or so for doing these chores and when you get this many you get this or that. And my parents will agree and then keep doing what they have been doing.
Janaya R, hopefully in a family we do nice things for one another. I am glad you found the videos and are in our community.
Wish I would have found this guy sooner!!
Miss American Pie, glad we connected.
“How long do you need?”
Will use this.
It really works.
Thanks for this Dr. Paul. It really helps to be reminded. Am a mother of two boys 3 and 5.. and its really challenging .. every is a struggle and thats why am looking for helpful videos.. bought some parenting books .. CALM voice is the NUMBER One.. but The hardest for me when Am triggerred.. because my childhood was hard too and its obvious that am repeating it towards my precious kids and I really dont like me on this.. so as my husband.. Thank you thank you so much .. God bless you more and more power to your channel.. thanks for living with purpose by helping us parents.. ❤
Thank you for being in our positive parenting community.
Can’t thank you enough for all your short, awesome and useful videos! You’re the only channel I like to watch when it comes to learn about kids!
Thank you, Martha Fawzy, please share videos with your friends or family.
Like Kristy below, I'm finding that kids who are difficult to deal with at school are actually raising themselves. Their parents have no idea. I'm recommending this channel and professional help.
Dena F, yes, there is typically a lot going on in other areas of the child's life.
I’m so glad watching this video, it is Very helpful🙏thank you
Glad it is helpful.
God sent me to you videos...and im so thankful for the time you took to make videos that educate mothers like me. The wide range of life lessons to helping me become a better version of myself🙏I'm raising 3 beautiful childern❤and i could never afford the time to take real life parenting classes and even if i could the convenience of being able to watch and learn anywhere anytime, by me having a busy schedule is such a blessing🙌Thank you so much and may God bless you and your gift‼
You are so welcome, Velvet Parker. I am glad the videos are helpful, that was the goal.
Simply incredible video. First time seeing your channel. Thank you for taking the time to put this together!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for explaining things in a simple way! This makes me a little more confident about discussing behavior management at my son's IEP meeting next week.
Awesome, Chelsea Campbell. You are showing up and contributing to your child's education. Thank you.
Re: your guidance on the punching a pillow - I've heard another good piece of advice from Martin Kirk, a really good positive parenting guy who used to foster a lot of ADHD kids... and he'd always say let's do something active like throw a football. Whenever he was worked up himself he'd just do some pushups and the kids would associate activity with getting control of your anger - but not doing something directly angry with it, just getting it out of you another way.
Dev Lunsford, many ADHD kids really need physical work and that that is why pushups and other similar activities work. Many smart teachers and therapists start with a physical activity and transition to classwork. Thank you for commenting.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV interesting insight. Does shifting energy into exercise work for ordinary grumpy parents too? Hope so... now just need to remember it in the moment before shouting....
This Channel has been God sent 🙏🏼 . Thank you for putting this information out there . I’ve been having a really hard time trying to understand my 2 year old . Now I’m really understanding his emotions.
You are so welcome, glad we can partner up.
What had you changed my 2 year old it’s driving me crazy I’m exhausted he’s so irritated most of the time
I will use this!!! Thank you!!!
Great! Hope it helps things.
Thank you for a very helpful presentation.
My pleasure.
I work at a student care and I have a student that gets extremely frustrated and agitated easily. He also gets really angry and lashes out and runs out of class. I love him so much but I desperately want to help him to regulate his emotions
I am glad you are there to work with him.
Great video!
Thanks!
Dear Sir your explanation is very helpful and mesmerising I had been thinking what to do with my grand child's anger ( he is my best friend) no I fully understood his condition is normal and how to handle it both his parents are worried of his behaviour now every thing is ok thank God and for you bye...
Honored to be on your team.
My 6 year old grandson has major anger issues. He has Apraxia of Speech, which we believe is the root of his anger and anxiety. He has been involved in speech therapy for 3 years, but still struggles and with the diagnosis of Apraxia, probably always will. He lashes out in anger, hitting and kicking anyone and anything in his path. He lives in a small area with very little help available. My daughter is beside herself and I don’t know how to help. I live over 20 hours from them. They are military and have frequent moves. I’d take any advice anyone wants to give!
I hope people chime in here with their experiences. It takes lots of therapy, patience and practice.
I have an 11 year old sister who immediately gets mad when something goes wrong or does not get what she wants. She barely listens to us and we often end up in a yelling contest. Sometimes she'll break stuff also. I know she can change but I don't know how to start helping her, since we're not really close because we used to fight everyday before which is wrong. But believe me, she's very intelligent and does well in School. She's a varsity player also. But her attitude when not in School is soo different, when we don't follow her she'll get mad. I always try to keep my composure and managed to reduce those yelling moments, but she still barely listens to us. :(
Defgha, I answered in the other comment left. Good luck.
My Little sister is 3 And she has non stopped been going She Gets Angry all the time it has gotten out of control to the point where she doesn't want to bath , Eat the right foods She often tells me she's sad i just want her to be Happy This Video really helped thank you
That is very young for behavior. I am glad you are there for her.
M wondering how could I miss this channel because I c that d videos were uploaded long enough for me to discover. My son is going to b 4soon this August & I couldn’t be more grateful for ur selfless lesson.
Gratitude 🇨🇭
You are so kind, Achano. Glad you are here.
Thank you Dr Paul your videos are awesome 👏 very helpful to me. It’s what I needed to learn .
Isn't it great when we get a message at the time we need it? Honored to be a part of your team, Maria Barraza.
Thank you Dr. I am truly appreciate your efforts to do this thing.
You are welcome.
You are amazing! Love all your videos and you make so much sense and are so so on point. I understand that in the beginning of implementing your techniques it feels like it won’t work but we have to stop and think how long did it take my child to get to this point. Well it will take time for you and him to get this corrected as well. My boys went tru a nasty divorce and there mother used lots of verbal and physical abuse and lots of restraining, you talk about restraining becoming abuse. I thank god and your videos that I have yet to resort to restraining. The boys now live with me and things are getting so much better. At times I thought I would not be able to help them but like you say, the weather will pass. True!
God bless you and thank you!
jose martinez, thank you for your kind comment. You make a good point about taking time to implement the new techniques. You got this.
Big thanks for a great advise and useful Videos.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you!
Honored to be on your team.
Thank you so much ❤😊 this was amazing from your side
You are welcome.
Thank you so so very much for this video!
Honored to be on your team.
Good video! Thanks!
viaisgoncalves, you are very welome.
I needed this. Thank you so much. ❤
You're so welcome!
Great tips. I have zero clue what’s going on with my 7 y/o son. I try these modeling behaviors at home and he does okay. But it seems the aggression and anger (stemming from frustrations) are coming out at school and I’m not there to have that one on one with him. It seems like he goes from 0-10. When he gets pulled aside he calms down, but it’s like he doesn’t have that moment where he pauses and thinks how to react, he just reacts. 😔 it’s been going on for while (since he was in pre-k) and it seems to be getting worse. Talk about feeling like a huge parent failure.
K. Ambrosio, you aren't a failure. Maybe you could share with those at school what you have done. A team approach could help him.
Hi,
Thanks a lot for guidance.
Though I am a teacher, not a parent, and I feel like teachers need to practice these things too.
Yes, definitely.
thank you for posting this video
Rachel park, you are very welcome.
Thanks
Karen Tingler, Honored to be on your team.
Thank you for bringing up the punching a pillow idea. I was taught that by my parents, and although I used it as a kid I never liked the way it made me feel. So of course I implemented it with my kids because I didn't have any better tools in bag, but now I do!
Glad to be of service to you, Alexis Gallagher! It's an honor to be on your team.
I swear sometimes my son just needs to be mad. One time he threw such a fit I did have to hold him in a hug. What surprised me was his declaration of, "this isn't scaring you." Like he was surprised. No idea where that came from or what was behind that but I haven't had to hold him like that much sense. He may have been 3.
Franchesca ONeal, thank you for sharing what worked for you, it could help someone else.
See it hard for me since my son hits and throws hard things. Throws his food on the floor, and screaming like i do when he passed all my limits and ive been calm all day and dealt with his wrong doing all day. But ill still take all this advice and try harder. Hes been so bad. And like you said i have to deal with my husband who belittles me and uses foul words with me that i dont want him teaching my son. Its a constant battle between my son and my husband. Most of them do it at the same time. I feel extremely defeated afterwards. :(
Stephanie Tunc, that can really wear you down. Your son could be picking up on the tension. Seek some help to figure a better way for you.
Great input!!! Thank you!!
Glad it was helpful!
Would you please also do a video on dealing with overly compliant kids? My youngest (17 years old daughter) is on the autism spectrum. She is so overly compliant and accommodating to everyone. I worry so about encouraging her to have more confidence and helping her to plan her future.
1Melody1963, I understand your worry. I will have to think on this. It will take lots of talks with her to understand that not everyone has her best interests at heart and come up with some boundaries.
My 4 year old son is angry from the moment he wakes up, and up to the moment it’s time to go to bed. I’m going insane. Idk what else to do?! I show him love and affection, play with him, etc etc. I don’t neglect him, I don’t abuse him, or make him angry (on purpose) so what’s the reason he acts this way? I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I just cry myself to sleep. I’m mentally exhausted. He yells, cries, and is just so mean 24/7
You not alone. My 4 year old is also going through the same. I try to help him but I also cry not knowing what I am doing wrong or what else I can do.
ViviannaReynoso, I feel your anguish. If at all possible, take him to a doctor to see if there are any underlying physical issues. They may also be able to direct you to other resources. These 2 videos may give you some additional ideas:
"How To Manage Kids' Anger" - th-cam.com/video/oHbNI5yxNmQ/w-d-xo.html
"How To Calm An Angry Child" - th-cam.com/video/ehxqACWkxcg/w-d-xo.html
Lastly, I want you to be aware that we are offering a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches. They may be able to help you further. If you would like to schedule a call, please go here: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
Best wishes to you, and know that you are doing great.
Martha Ramirez, my heart goes out to you 2 mothers. I now it is very difficult. Please read what I wrote to ViviannaReynoso and consider doing the same. Best wishes.
DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
Always remember:
Kids + sugar/caffeine = great chances of hyperactive / behavioral disorder
My step sister had hyperactive / behavioral disorder at age 3 so my dad removed sugar from her diet. He saw a huge difference right away in the first couple days. It ended her disorders.
Also be sure to pray for your kids' salvation and spiritual maturity every day. It should lessen the need to restrict their diet so much as they get older. It should also lessen the need for boot camp when they become teenagers.
So so helpful
rana hina, thank you.
Any video suggestions on redirecting aggressive behavior in school, trying to prevent the child from running away and fighting you and throwing everything ?
I’d like to know also please
Sonia Guerra, I have no idea what makes the child tick and what has been tried. What does the counselor suggest? Have you tried a reward system? Ask the child what they want (more recess time, to play a game with an adult or other child, to have a lunch partner, etc.) Then set up a way for them to get the reward daily or even more often if needed at first.
Dr Paul, I really appreciate your insight & wisdom 💗 I like how you say "be wise & judicious" when dealing with child's anger/aggression - so important to keep in mind when parent feels overwhelmed. I'm so glad to hear you don't recommend punching pillows because many so called "professionals" do say to do that , which is so counterproductive & wrong to teach children 😯 You are a blessing & helping so many people 🦸♂️💗 God Bless you and all who struggle/strive to be the best parent we can be for our child/children 👨🎨🕵️♂️👼🙏🕊✝️💗🦸♂️🦸♀️
M, thank you!
So I am young and have EXTREME i'll say "Anger Issues" and when I get mad about something at home I shout and scream,sometimes I can even say a swear word or two, I wanna get therapy as I can be quite aggressive and wanna calm down a bit, so your videos have helped me! thx!!!(btw my mum won't get my therapy imma ask her like sometime idk)
See if there are any counseling options through your school.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Ok thank you!
Great lesson as always. Thank you, Dr. Paul!
You are welcome, Good Wife. Glad this video is helpful to you.
Thanks sir
All the best
My 3 year old daughter is having a hard time managing her emotions and sometimes the frustration is too big that she gets overwhelmed and doesn’t want to cooperate or communicate, I can hardly handle it anymore and I feel like I messed up my job as a parent. Her anxiety has gone away too far now for her to be able to be around other kids at school, don’t know what to do 😢
For my toddler ( recently turned 2) when he gets upset with something. He often gets frustrated and starts yelling and throws himself to the ground or something to that magnitude.
When he starts to get upset my first words are slow down and breathe. Not in a condescending way, but I soften my tone and say ssllloow ddoowwnn..bbrreeaathe (partly reminding myself to slow down and not act quickly out of my frustration). I follow up with offering opens arms and saying "Use your words". I know he could have trouble articulating some words so I'll also ask him "What were you trying to do" or I'll plainly give him the words he needs for that situation. I repeat what he told me back to him to show him I unserstand. Like "you were trying to stack your blocks, but they kept falling down. That made you frustrated". Once his feelings are validated and we understand each other he calms down fairly quickly.
Depending on the situation and where we are (like at the grandparents house). Sometimes if he starts throwing a fit I'll ask him if we need to go to the next room to calm down (I like to give him that privacy) He'll often say "no". Then I'll ask him if he can calm down by himself and he'll say "yes" and settle down. Sometimes we still need to go to the next room to calm down.
I'm trying to give him a methodology to getting upset and to give him the words he needs to express himself. Part of the time it seems like they get the most upset when no one can understand what they are trying to convey. I think that can also leave them feeling lonely and maybe a little ostracized at times when they can't communicate properly.
You are doing awesome, thanks for sharing Kristen. I love the part about your words being as much for him as for you. You can do this!
You are doing great! My son is almost 5, and he dealt with the same issues as your son since the age of 18 months. He would also slam his head into tables, walls, floors, concrete, and glass windows when he would get overwhelmed/frustrated.. he also went through about a year and a half phase where he hit, bit, kicked and slapped me. I thought I would never get through it.
But I did pretty much the exact things you do, and it really did help him to calm down plus helping them find the words to explain their emotions also really helps
Mom to mom hug 🤗
I will use this on the kids i baby sit thank you
Love it, awesome video
Thanks so much!
Im exhausted and out of ideas. My 12 year old goes to extremes when he is asked to do chores or schoolwork. He basically goes from I should never have been born and really it’s such a simple request being asked. It’s so hard parenting him most days. He actually provokes me and picks at my nerves till I’m frustrated and angry too.
Look up the video about disconnecting from the outcomes. Sounds like he looking for a reaction and will keep at you until he gets one.
I was abused mentally, physically and emotionally up to the age of 19. I tried to protect my son from what I'd been through and really tried to be patient and understanding whilst he was growing up. He was the sweetest, most caring, compassionate child. I encouraged him to express all emotions because I was taught to suppress mine.
Unfortunately my partner is emotionally unavailable and had me suppressing my emotions and rejected our son when he would cry. He was very dismissive.
This has really affected our son.
During the pandemic i was triggered by my childhood trauma. I was left to look after our son on my own as my husband walked away from us being unable to deal with what I was going through this.
I found myself full of anger. I could hear my parents voice in my head as I communicated with my son. I knew it was wrong but couldn't stop myself. My son is now full of anger. He cannot control his emotions at all even in situations like me saying "you can't watch TV later, let's do this first and then you can watch TV". He wants what he wants. There are no alternatives. I'm losing myself all over trying to help but nothings working. I'm drowning in guilt now. I use the right words etc but he's not listening. He only knows he's hurt. I did wrong by saying no.
I hope you can get some help for your son and you through either counseling or coaching.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you. I have contacted a child psychologist and trying to get some help for me too.
Thanks so much
Our pleasure.
Don’t hurt 🤕 yourself and hurt 🤕 others
georgi kobakov, words to live by.
I grew up in a hispanic household and i can honestly say I needed about 80% of the ass whoopins i got as a kid 🤷🏽♂️
Thanks for sharing.
Or maybe your parents needed to learn how to discipline a child without resorting to violence.
Using words...only works when they're listening. Mine will tune out completely and nothing I say matters. Once again, how to teach smaller children to soothe themselves, calm themselves down. What is a good technique?
Some kids do well with breathing techniques, others with a small brush they can use on their arms or legs. Sometimes it is helpful in training them to think of something else or sing a song. Try some things and see what works for your child.
My 4 year old grandson acts out every day and throws anything at us when something doesn't go right for him. I have never seen a child this angry before. His dad is a absent person in his life and visits when it is convenient. Everyday anger is not normal. He has been diagnosed with Severe ADHD and ODD.
Cindy Davis, love them no matter what and even if....
Thank you for this video it's helping me so much at this point .
Locha Calderon, my pleasure.
I love your channel and videos!
Thank you so much! Lorna Sanchez, glad to have you at the channel.
Thanks for this . I’m struggle with my 5 years old son as he getting this anger management .as he doesn’t know how to control it . When he get angry he keep talking and aggressive word coming out. I don’t know what to do .
jovie velasco, when he is calm, go over what is appropriate and give consequences when he doesn't act appropriately.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV at home his good at school set up the one he struggle the most . That’s why I don’t understand why he acting differently. He has a lot of problem at school . He doesn’t know how to socialize that’s what we thought but speaking of it he doesn’t do hurt people when his not at school. Is it the environment? Or the school ? I’m don’t know what to think . School always reports his hurting his classmate . And when he go home his keep telling us his classmate always say thing and feel hurt about it . That’s why we thought he might depending himself . Should we try moving him other school?
Watching this for my little brother. Our parents are abusive and often the instigators for his outbursts.
I'm trying.
Lucianna Tomeave, I am glad you are being helpful. If things get unsafe, please call for help.
Thank u for trying
I'm so sorry for you both. I came from a home of both parents either disengaged or explosive. If it's any comfort my brother and I have turned out ok and I am particularly unphased by most of life's annoyances. Maybe try to think of your upbringing as a vaccine against being bothered by the little things that people who have had ideal childhoods can't handle. We are able to cope with pretty much anything!!!
Back when I was a kid, I was really bratty. I had no idea how my parents felt, I just said what was on my mind. Now that I know, I hate my past self. I wish I could slap some sense into my 7 year old self, but I'm stuck with the guilt of being ungrateful. Maybe it's the aspergers talking but I honestly feel like a failure sometimes.
we are meant to learn and grow. Looking back and seeing how far you have come is helpful, looking back and feeling bad over and over is not helpful. Let it go and be the best person you can be now.
Never think your a failure because you're not, be proud that you treat them better now.
I have a very angry child. He closed fist punched me in the face today after a weekend with his dad. His dad has anger issues. I am more loving and gentle. I am lost! He is very agressive toward me. Especially when I'm trying to disipline, I get at his level and do everything I've watched.
nina johns, I hope there are consequences when he hits. Having said that, transition time from his dads may require some special routines. We have found that kids need some alone time when they transition from one house to another. Give him some space and probably some therapy to figure out his feelings.
You're amazing, real. No really ty
Thank you for watching, Venus Semmens. I love doing these videos and hearing from people like you.
Yes he is
wonderful example with a storm!!
Thank you for watching and commenting, DJ Max.
Modeling a special needs 20 yr old who is still in STAGE 1 is very challenging. I sometimes feel love is not enough.
Teri Brown, it is very tough. Get clear on what you control and what you don't.
Pray for your kids' salvation and spiritual maturity every day. Never give up. Always you have to love, honor, respect and obey God for His discipline is stern. Also, never neglect to Tithe , it is God's biblical law.
One day I layed my hand on my spouse's shoulder and said to him, "Be born again in the name of Jesus." And he has been changed by God's grace ever since. He is so much more positive now, so much less angry.
Pop Eye, thanks for the thoughts.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV sure , no problem!
Sir, I am from India....my kid is 7 yrs old now...we are a join family..my son was pampered by my inlaws..his grand parents...now a days my son is getting anger for small things and starts hitting me and for nothing he is asking me to ask sorry to him then he is cooling down becoming normal. If he goes out to play with his friends he can not accept failure while playing and he immediately comes to me and complain....please please help me to change his habit....
Sujitha Venkatesh, when your son comes to you, tell him he needs to solve his problems with his friends. When he is angry, tell him that when he is able to talk to you as you are talking to him, then you will listen, not until then.
But what do you do when they do this in school or daycare and they want to bring thebstate in because the state limits them severely in child management. Sorry asked too quick question answered awesome. Thank you so much.
You are welcome. Glad you are here.
How do you handle temper tantrums in public? My 3 year old, yesterday actually, decided to have a temper tantrum in the middle of a crowded store while we were standing in line. She started hitting me, so I held her hands to stop her. Then she started kicking, not just me, but the other people in line. She gets angry alot and I struggle with how to handle it.
When I had little children, I would remove them from the store and put them in the car until they settled down. I would stand outside the car and let them cry. This didn't happen with all my children, but it worked. The child learned how to behave in the store. Set the expectations before you enter. It may mess up your day a bit, but you are raising children for life. Hang in there, aysia floyd.
Live On Purpose TV this worked with my toddler!!
Thankyou !!
It’s funny how we put ourselves in time out with our kids, but it works and shows how much we support our beliefs by being there in timeout by their side.
Always remember:
Kids + sugar/caffeine = evil hell
My step sister had hyperactive/behavioral disorder at age 3 so my dad removed sugar from her diet and he saw a huge difference in the first couple of days. It ended her disorders so he kept sugar out of her diet. He fed her meats, veggies and a few crackers or very low sugar cereals once in a while for snacks. Very low sugar berries.
Right now start praying for your kids' salvation and spiritual maturity every day. God tells us to pray in Jesus' name. Pray like: "God please give my kids salvation and spiritual maturity, I pray in the name of Jesus, amen." Praying this every day should reduce the need to restrict their sugar intake so much as they get older. It should also greatly reduce the need for boot camp when they become teenagers.
Let me tell you that one day I layed my hand on my spouse's shoulder and said to him, "Be born again in the name of Jesus." And he has been changed by God's grace ever since. He is so much more positive now, so much less angry.
Also I know someone who was delivered from smoking and alcohol addiction through water baptism. It changed him forever more also. I heard it is wrong to baptize in the name of the father , son and holy spirit. The right way to baptize is in Jesus' name.
I know someone, he was on the very verge of suicide, overwhelmed with depression, anger and addiction he uttered a prayer "God save me." to a God he wasn't even sure existed. Well God heard him, revealed Himself to him and changed him that very moment. Not lost in despair anymore, he is a new person to this day, full of peace and joy of the Lord ever since.
I hope this I talked about helps you somehow and if you need it in the future. God's love n blessings! Good luck!
Thanx u so much doctor , i Luv the way you talk about empathy n stay calm
It's my pleasure
🙏🏻How do you help a child with MRELD mixed receptive expressive disorder and with frustration and anger? we are struggling 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for this.. I like how you portrayed real life situation with a stormy weather.. ♥
Thank you for watching and commenting, Elsbeth Febria-Bahretdinova. Hoping you have a sunny day.
Thank you! Love it! I work w kindergartens. I'm going into work tomorrow feeling more confident on how to deal w a few that are little ruffians 😊🔻🔴🔳👏ABC's
Stacey Loveland, teachers really need to have their toolboxes full when they enter the classroom : )
I’m rolling with laughter 😂 “Baton down the hatches, close the windows, border them up if you have to.” Yes a child’s storm is coming 😂
Kat Barz, some can be on the hurricane level, for sure. Be brave.
My son always banging the door and crying and hurting himself i need help i don't know what to do,.😔
Myrus Timtim, have you talked to your doctor to see if there is something medically wrong? If you need parent coaching, get in touch, www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV although I live in Philippines sir