Thank you so much to everyone who has chosen to support my video mission on Patreon.com/boomshikha! If you want to learn more about how to get involved, check out my Patreon page! ❤😍❤
Infjs require extreme patience!!!!! Kindness understanding an the ability to live your own life and do you own thing in the time infjs need to be alone helps a lot... Good luck...😊
Music your infj make sure it's fitting, not hurtful, communication & kindness with thoughtfulness, they are touched when you have remembered something that they liked, but have forgotten... have they "infj" truly heard from you! They've cold level doesn't mean you are far from forgotten, never. Did your feet step into their shoes so could feel together, be on the same page! Try knocking there door infjs journey & path will share invite if you care to listen & join their crazy busy world. Boom, absolutely great video thank you so much for sharing! A great reminder 4 me always to reflect, to check in too. You are amazing!!
you make us infj sound crazy, as for me, i go cold when i feel people are being cold and distant with me, i reflect their emotions, i dont want to waste time with people who are not interested in me, especially when i tend to fall in love really deeply and i can be invested too much in a person, i tend to stay away the moment i feel they are pulling away first.
My INFJ has been indecisive about me for 6 months, but starting last week, he shuns me. He literally pretends I'm invisible and inaudible. I think it's probably time to move on, but I feel really angry about it. He's a 24-year-old man! He should communicate like a man. I think ignoring someone is rude and immature, especially if they're making an effort to be loyal and reach out! I wanna ask him what I did, but maybe I just need to move on. Rawr. I wish I could learn from this. I hope it's just coldness because I don't think I anything worth being doorslammed over.
ASK HIM!!! We are dumb, and we don't realize we are doing something hurtful. Tell him!!! It's important for him to hear it. If he's good about it, you can keep being with him. If he's cruel, then leave him...
From my experience, "that little thing", which people might do to turn us cold, typically isn't so little after all. It'll often prove to be a part of a pattern, which we don't like one bit (typically, through actions, we have intuited some undesirable character trait or value compared to our preferences and so it's pretty much over - why waste time and energy on someone with whom we can't see ourselves with in the long run?). When I don't contact people for a while, it's typically because I tend to project my own desire for privacy and desire to focus on something onto other people. I don't like being contacted all the time, because I am typically busy doing stuff, so I don't want to bother someone else all the time, because I imagine they'd be just annoyed as I if I constantly got interrupted in the middle of my activities. When I realize it's been a while since I've taken initiative to initiate contact, I feel like an ass and project my own feelings about being the situation onto the other person and come to the conclusion, that'd I'd consider myself a jerk for behaving in that manner and so don't initiate contact, which starts a vicious cycle of wanting to initiate and then not doing it, eventually turning the relation "cold". The lesson? Be consistent, be aware and try to make the degree of contact somewhat reciprocal (or learn to let the other person know "Hey, I am kind of busy, can we talk at X time instead?"). Don't be a cold fish, but let the other person know your boundaries in a loving manner. At any rate, I just don't get why people would *want* to be in contact with each other all the time. What do you talk about when you meet up, if everything has already been said in-between getting together? :)
Kristian Jensen You used the word ‘consistent.’ I find that the more consistent, or disciplined I am, the more freedom I have to do other things without being concerned with prior duties that I’ve neglected.
It's extremely right It makes me feel guilty when all those people love me and all those people are attracted to me and really likes my company and they ask about me Miss me Keen of talking with me but I can't talk to all those all the time And i've already told them all I won't talk because i'm busy let us talk In blah time However when this Xtime come I can't I can't talk It makes me feels so sick when i see all these people And even the one or two I like I feel i'm losing them cause my absence not being with them all the time as they need Feels that I've lost my charming part I can't be this entertainment so cold so cold that I can't talk in any stuff Even I've tried to be good sense of humour I can't Honestly feels so bad what do you think is the solution of this
+Lara Punk I can relate to your feelings, but I don't think there is an easy solution to changing your situation to feel different about it. If you feel overwhelmed by the amount of social interactions you feel you need to have, you could try focusing on the ones that really matter and just kind of breeze over the rest. Only commit to the relations you are excited about that really want in your life. There is also a saying which goes "You become the five people you spend the most time with", so you'd be best off making sure that those 5 people are good people. Be active and involved with those 5 people and "tone it back" on the rest. When you don't feel like you have to take care of a bunch of shallow connections, you will probably also find more energy to take care of those that do matter. If you find it difficult to make time for one-on-one time with the people you want in your life, maybe consider whether you could do some group events with them. That way you can interact with multiple people at the same time and you won't feel as much pressure being the one to "entertain" everyone, as there are more people present to take the initiative. If you are struggling having good conversations, try getting into the habit of asking good questions. Maybe learn a "list" of good questions, which you can ask in most situations and follow ups to keep the other person talking. Asking questions like "Why do you like doing that? What do you feel that about this? Could you tell me more about that?" and follow ups like "That's interesting, do go on", "I can relate to that, because I experienced this, what do you think about it?" you can pretty much get other people to have a conversation with themselves and they will love you for it. Especially if you ask questions about something they are passionate about. :) Generally, people like you when they get to talk to you about themselves - You can find a lot of good material here on TH-cam on learning to be a great conversationalist, so I'd also give that a go if you find that you are struggling a bit in that department. There are also cases, where no matter what you do, the other person is also a poor conversationalist and they give you nothing, which you can use to make the conversation flow. Just don't be bothered too much about it and recognize they might be having even more trouble than you at making conversation. Hope this helps. It's also an area I can struggle with, but by applying the above "thought pattern" I have gotten better accepting /managing how my mind / feelings work when it comes to having social relations.
It’s usually when I don’t see a future with a guy that I stop contacting them. It’s not always that they did something wrong per se, so much as they seem incompatible with me. Then from there it just kind of fizzles out.
Seems fair, though the kind thing to do would be to let them know the situation - it's a lot easier to move on, if you are given a reason why something doesn't work our rather than dealing with the uncertainty of silence. They might even learn something from it and use the reason behind the rejection to grow into better people.
Kristian Jensen Agreed. I’ve actually made it a rule that I don’t ghost guys anymore and offer closure, unless I feel my personal safety is threatened.
+Shae Volkel That's actually pretty impressive - it's pretty unusual to encounter people with that mindset and the self-awareness to actually care enough about the people they date to make that gesture. Personal safety always comes first though, you are absolutely spot on with that. Hope you'll eventually find someone, who's compatible with you and you won't have to worry about it anymore though!
Well, I don't know if it's all that impressive since I've only ever been in one serious relationship. Though it did kind of force me to deal with my fear of confrontation and learn how to be be honest and say the things that can be hard, awkward, and brutal. Otherwise, I've mostly just had to be upfront about turning down guys either before even going out or after going on a date and not feeling it. It's usually best because I don't want to offer false hope, I need to assert my boundaries, and it's courteous just to save everyone's time. I know been ghosted in the past, and it's not fun. I wouldn't do that to anyone who is upfront with me and I would try to grant the same respect. However, I offer nothing to guys who aren't direct with me. Even if I don't want to date a guy, I have more respect for anyone that makes an honest effort and is willing to risk rejection and take it gracefully. Just as a general rule for myself (dating-related or not), I usually tend to answer honestly when asked something directly, but not everyone seems either brave or curious enough to ask.
I can't even begin with how true this is. Especially with a new person in our life. We'll talk all day long, we'll be your best friend - but the next morning, we'll wake up to be strangers. I'm welling up with all these thoughts right now. You've put it so perfectly! Yes! We forget to eat! What do you expect from us? Text you "good morning" everyday when we wake up? ABSOLUTELY NOT. You're just digging up a hole that you're ultimately gonna use after we door slam you. However, this is not the case with "SOME PEOPLE" in our lives. The absolute close ones we love and adore. The one's for whom we'll put our heart and soul out to, the people we can (truly) die for.
I can do a tad of first thing where I’m scared. Yeah, I can so quickly switch and not be interested in someone. This is my biggest conundrum that so often happens to me. Busy? Most definitely. I rarely get bored and love to go off and over research something. To where I’m not eating, little sleeping, forgetting the world. Back off is the key! I’m glad you set the record straight for us INFJs and those poor confused souls who get involved with us. :)
There is no quick answer to this question. Too many variables to ever give anyone a definitive answer. There are questions you can ask to know where you stand but guessing, making assumptions, and overthinking is not the right way to know. It's kinda like don't ask, don't tell. If you never ask, they'll never tell you. So ask questions... you know... communicate. When it comes down to the fundamental basic level of a human being asking a question shows interest. So show interest, ask questions. ;)
Oh man I used to run away something I have noticed about myself is I’m either in or out. I also evaluate the pros and cons to decide if it’s worth investing in that person. I’m so lucky my husband gets me. He backs off when I need it I don’t even have to tell him. I forget to eat too hahaha
As a side note your comment on forgetting to eat made remember one of your older videos where you talked about that, and at the time I said: "I could never do that." This past month I lost 6 pounds and had a lot of headaches, I would find it was like 9/ 10, and I hadn't eaten anything all day. My mind was just to busy.
The part you mention at 3:30 is scary accurate. I thought that was a just an unusual thing I did, like someone i like does something and we are both crushing on each other but once they do this certain thing, i just get bored/ or feel disconnected. I don't feel hurt, just a- eh feeling. Just how you described! Now I don't feel so alone and crazy haha. I love your videos and i'm so happy I just found you. Binging them while I work! :)
See with me I go "cold" because I am waiting for them to message me first. Relationships is two way street. I am pretty sure you are talking about already established relationships. My comment is more about getting one started with me. When I am in a relationship I do my best to keep the line of communication open. When I need to recharge I will say so. Same is true for the other things you mentioned. If some one is trying to get in to a relationship with me the worse thing they can do is back off. Because I have limited time to spend on people so If I was using it for you and you stop talking it will go to someone else. With out any interaction between us. How do you expect feelings to develop? I had to learn the hard way about my bad relationship habits. So I do my best to try to fix them. It is getting to the point that I consider it a full blown relationship. That is the hard part getting to that point. Once someone is at that point. I try to make it easy for them. well great video. It is a common thing to go from hot to cold in a relationship with me but I try to make it easier for them to understand it until they get how I am and we just are. Well talk to you later.
This is so interesting and weird for me at the same time. Do people actually like INFJs? Maybe It's just me, but I don't believe it based on the people I'm surrounded by. I mean... If a person with the right personality came into my life and shows that he actually want to be with me for who I'm and not because he is desperate or selfish reasons, that would be nice. Sharing similar thoughts, perspectives, work together on projects and stuff would be a dream to me. Sharing and working together makes a deeper connection. Here are some things I need to point out at once: *If there is a problem, don't try and fix it with a nice dinner or something like that.... If there's a problem -> fix the problem and then everything will go back to the way it was.* It's like: If there is no problem... Then I can't be a reflection of a problem that doesn't exist either. In the past I've been working around INTJs, INTPs and ENTJs, and those days where the best days of my life. The INTJ were the one who helped me with all the questions I had because she knew everything about the workplace and we had similar thoughts on how to do things and if something went wrong we started laughing about it. I think the INTP was observing in the beginning and then before I knew it.. We're joking around, we shared information, perspectives and all kinds of stuff and suddenly the ENTJ walks by and shes smiling and giggling about the stuff we talked about. After working there a while I became dizzy and they're like: Have you eaten today? and I was like: Oh, no.. I forgot :O I'm so focused on the work. Thank you for reminding me! Then I was like *wosh*, they smiled and shacked their heads, and I was running out of the room. We had separate tasks but we had so much fun and I really feel we connected. If I meet them again, I would probably think and feel It's good to be home again.
Oh wow, there could be many reasons. But mostly it could be because he is actually just busy with work, and therefore, unable to stay in touch. That's the most common reason, I would say, that we go cold. :) The best thing to do is to give him space for a few days, and then initiate a conversation online. :)
@@BoomShikha thank you! You're right, he is really busy with work this time of year especially working overtime. This also might sound crazy, but my cousin did do a tarot card reading for me and him and because he is dealing with a lot is afraid of opening up about past hurt and not ready to be honest with somethings. I'm not surprised because he has expressed that in general ways and past hurt and insecurities have come up ever a handful of times because our strong connection and overwhelming and intense amount of feelings during our 3 months of communicating everyday before he stopped initiating and decided to back off and give him space. I did message him last night though to give him some words of encouragement and to give him a personal life update from me
As an INFJ, here are my insights for the "cold' effect from INFJ's:- Acquaintance or friendship:- "BACK UP", don't get too close too fast, if you are liked then we will come around, if you have annoyed us then we will 'door slam' you. Relationship:- "Breathing Space", sometimes there are too many things happening in our minds, we need to empty the clutter. Other times there is just the wrong type of emotions bombarding us, making us want to cringe or retaliate (when we retaliate, we may regret the ferocity that had overcome us).
Hi Boom I'm staying with my INFJ fiance and I love him to death but some times he will just go cold on me and I will start asking myself what did I do, he will say that his word is the law and tell me how special he is, not that I have a problem with him being special but he boast about it and if I do something wrong he will never tell me same time that he didn't like what I did. Is it normal because now he is so cold he be like he will tell me that he don't care, his only looking out for himself now, is this healthy?
Thank you for this message! I am an INFJ going through a miscarriage and two surgeries in the last 6 months and my husband was not there for me emotionally at all, but he thinks he was... kinda of... haha He is an ISTP... 😅 Help me please before I hurt myself again because he keeps triggering me and try and run away before I have a melt down! 🤦🏼♀️😢
I'm so sorry to hear about all of the stuff you are going through. You are awesome, and I'm here for you in case you need it. Msg me privately on FB if you wish or email me. :)
Must time I like being alone and if I talk to people or offer my friendship and my time it means I like them alot. But then if people keep offending me or taking me for granted. I think 🤔wait a minute I don't need this in my life. I'm fine alone, then I start planning to dessapear. 😾 Just like a cat dessappears from a house. There is only so many times u will forget to feed the cat, maybe yell a few times at the cat, maybe kick the cat once or twice.but one day you'll come home, and that cat will be gone, nowhere to be seen.
You might be an INFP? They enjoy strong emotions even negative ones. My son is INFP and while we’re both very sensitive and empathic there is a big difference in how we experience emotion. I definitely do not enjoy strong emotion, especially negative ones they can make me physically ill. I’m always trying to get everyone to get along and be happy because my well-being depends on it.
I have found there are many similarities between INFPs and INFJs, but knowing INFPs, I know I am definitely not one. :) I have way too many schedules, to-do lists, and such, to be labeled a P.
Thank you so much to everyone who has chosen to support my video mission on Patreon.com/boomshikha! If you want to learn more about how to get involved, check out my Patreon page! ❤😍❤
I go cold if I think a person is being dishonest about their feelings.
Interesting! Thanks for sharing. :)
Just owning a phone and actually using it is a big deal for a INFJ
Yeah!
OH YES...LOOL
Yea 😂😂
Infjs require extreme patience!!!!! Kindness understanding an the ability to live your own life and do you own thing in the time infjs need to be alone helps a lot... Good luck...😊
Yes!!
Will INFJ get hurt if I see someone else while waiting for you guys recharging?
@@anothercath hahaaahahahaahaha hahahahahahahaaha you joking, right?
Music your infj make sure it's fitting, not hurtful, communication & kindness with thoughtfulness, they are touched when you have remembered something that they liked, but have forgotten... have they "infj" truly heard from you!
They've cold level doesn't mean you are far from forgotten, never.
Did your feet step into their shoes so could feel together, be on the same page! Try knocking there door infjs journey & path will share invite if you care to listen & join their crazy busy world.
Boom, absolutely great video thank you so much for sharing! A great reminder 4 me always to reflect, to check in too. You are amazing!!
Awww, thank you dlynn!! You are amazing as well.
you make us infj sound crazy, as for me, i go cold when i feel people are being cold and distant with me, i reflect their emotions, i dont want to waste time with people who are not interested in me, especially when i tend to fall in love really deeply and i can be invested too much in a person, i tend to stay away the moment i feel they are pulling away first.
Thanks for sharing!!
relate to this
My INFJ has been indecisive about me for 6 months, but starting last week, he shuns me. He literally pretends I'm invisible and inaudible. I think it's probably time to move on, but I feel really angry about it. He's a 24-year-old man! He should communicate like a man. I think ignoring someone is rude and immature, especially if they're making an effort to be loyal and reach out! I wanna ask him what I did, but maybe I just need to move on. Rawr. I wish I could learn from this. I hope it's just coldness because I don't think I anything worth being doorslammed over.
ASK HIM!!! We are dumb, and we don't realize we are doing something hurtful. Tell him!!! It's important for him to hear it. If he's good about it, you can keep being with him. If he's cruel, then leave him...
From my experience, "that little thing", which people might do to turn us cold, typically isn't so little after all.
It'll often prove to be a part of a pattern, which we don't like one bit (typically, through actions, we have intuited some undesirable character trait or value compared to our preferences and so it's pretty much over - why waste time and energy on someone with whom we can't see ourselves with in the long run?).
When I don't contact people for a while, it's typically because I tend to project my own desire for privacy and desire to focus on something onto other people.
I don't like being contacted all the time, because I am typically busy doing stuff, so I don't want to bother someone else all the time, because I imagine they'd be just annoyed as I if I constantly got interrupted in the middle of my activities.
When I realize it's been a while since I've taken initiative to initiate contact, I feel like an ass and project my own feelings about being the situation onto the other person and come to the conclusion, that'd I'd consider myself a jerk for behaving in that manner and so don't initiate contact, which starts a vicious cycle of wanting to initiate and then not doing it, eventually turning the relation "cold".
The lesson? Be consistent, be aware and try to make the degree of contact somewhat reciprocal (or learn to let the other person know "Hey, I am kind of busy, can we talk at X time instead?"). Don't be a cold fish, but let the other person know your boundaries in a loving manner.
At any rate, I just don't get why people would *want* to be in contact with each other all the time. What do you talk about when you meet up, if everything has already been said in-between getting together? :)
Kristian Jensen You used the word ‘consistent.’ I find that the more consistent, or disciplined I am, the more freedom I have to do other things without being concerned with prior duties that I’ve neglected.
It's extremely right
It makes me feel guilty when all those people love me and all those people are attracted to me and really likes my company and they ask about me
Miss me
Keen of talking with me but I can't talk to all those all the time
And i've already told them all I won't talk because i'm busy let us talk In blah time
However when this Xtime come I can't I can't talk
It makes me feels so sick when i see all these people
And even the one or two I like I feel i'm losing them cause my absence not being with them all the time as they need
Feels that I've lost my charming part
I can't be this entertainment so cold so cold that I can't talk in any stuff
Even I've tried to be good sense of humour I can't
Honestly feels so bad what do you think is the solution of this
Love all of this!!
+Lara Punk I can relate to your feelings, but I don't think there is an easy solution to changing your situation to feel different about it.
If you feel overwhelmed by the amount of social interactions you feel you need to have, you could try focusing on the ones that really matter and just kind of breeze over the rest. Only commit to the relations you are excited about that really want in your life.
There is also a saying which goes "You become the five people you spend the most time with", so you'd be best off making sure that those 5 people are good people. Be active and involved with those 5 people and "tone it back" on the rest.
When you don't feel like you have to take care of a bunch of shallow connections, you will probably also find more energy to take care of those that do matter.
If you find it difficult to make time for one-on-one time with the people you want in your life, maybe consider whether you could do some group events with them.
That way you can interact with multiple people at the same time and you won't feel as much pressure being the one to "entertain" everyone, as there are more people present to take the initiative.
If you are struggling having good conversations, try getting into the habit of asking good questions. Maybe learn a "list" of good questions, which you can ask in most situations and follow ups to keep the other person talking.
Asking questions like "Why do you like doing that? What do you feel that about this? Could you tell me more about that?" and follow ups like "That's interesting, do go on", "I can relate to that, because I experienced this, what do you think about it?" you can pretty much get other people to have a conversation with themselves and they will love you for it.
Especially if you ask questions about something they are passionate about. :)
Generally, people like you when they get to talk to you about themselves - You can find a lot of good material here on TH-cam on learning to be a great conversationalist, so I'd also give that a go if you find that you are struggling a bit in that department.
There are also cases, where no matter what you do, the other person is also a poor conversationalist and they give you nothing, which you can use to make the conversation flow. Just don't be bothered too much about it and recognize they might be having even more trouble than you at making conversation.
Hope this helps. It's also an area I can struggle with, but by applying the above "thought pattern" I have gotten better accepting /managing how my mind / feelings work when it comes to having social relations.
@@kristianjensen5877 this is absolutely a great advice
Thank you
I'll work about it
You've a point
It’s usually when I don’t see a future with a guy that I stop contacting them. It’s not always that they did something wrong per se, so much as they seem incompatible with me. Then from there it just kind of fizzles out.
Seems fair, though the kind thing to do would be to let them know the situation - it's a lot easier to move on, if you are given a reason why something doesn't work our rather than dealing with the uncertainty of silence.
They might even learn something from it and use the reason behind the rejection to grow into better people.
Kristian Jensen Agreed. I’ve actually made it a rule that I don’t ghost guys anymore and offer closure, unless I feel my personal safety is threatened.
Yeah!! Thats a great point. :)
+Shae Volkel That's actually pretty impressive - it's pretty unusual to encounter people with that mindset and the self-awareness to actually care enough about the people they date to make that gesture. Personal safety always comes first though, you are absolutely spot on with that.
Hope you'll eventually find someone, who's compatible with you and you won't have to worry about it anymore though!
Well, I don't know if it's all that impressive since I've only ever been in one serious relationship. Though it did kind of force me to deal with my fear of confrontation and learn how to be be honest and say the things that can be hard, awkward, and brutal. Otherwise, I've mostly just had to be upfront about turning down guys either before even going out or after going on a date and not feeling it. It's usually best because I don't want to offer false hope, I need to assert my boundaries, and it's courteous just to save everyone's time. I know been ghosted in the past, and it's not fun. I wouldn't do that to anyone who is upfront with me and I would try to grant the same respect. However, I offer nothing to guys who aren't direct with me. Even if I don't want to date a guy, I have more respect for anyone that makes an honest effort and is willing to risk rejection and take it gracefully. Just as a general rule for myself (dating-related or not), I usually tend to answer honestly when asked something directly, but not everyone seems either brave or curious enough to ask.
I can't even begin with how true this is. Especially with a new person in our life. We'll talk all day long, we'll be your best friend - but the next morning, we'll wake up to be strangers. I'm welling up with all these thoughts right now. You've put it so perfectly!
Yes! We forget to eat! What do you expect from us? Text you "good morning" everyday when we wake up? ABSOLUTELY NOT. You're just digging up a hole that you're ultimately gonna use after we door slam you. However, this is not the case with "SOME PEOPLE" in our lives. The absolute close ones we love and adore. The one's for whom we'll put our heart and soul out to, the people we can (truly) die for.
Thanks for sharing! ❤️
I can do a tad of first thing where I’m scared.
Yeah, I can so quickly switch and not be interested in someone. This is my biggest conundrum that so often happens to me.
Busy? Most definitely. I rarely get bored and love to go off and over research something. To where I’m not eating, little sleeping, forgetting the world.
Back off is the key!
I’m glad you set the record straight for us INFJs and those poor confused souls who get involved with us. :)
Hahaha! Yeah, the poor confused souls need it. :)
There is no quick answer to this question. Too many variables to ever give anyone a definitive answer. There are questions you can ask to know where you stand but guessing, making assumptions, and overthinking is not the right way to know. It's kinda like don't ask, don't tell. If you never ask, they'll never tell you. So ask questions... you know... communicate. When it comes down to the fundamental basic level of a human being asking a question shows interest. So show interest, ask questions. ;)
Great conclusion!!
Oh man I used to run away something I have noticed about myself is I’m either in or out. I also evaluate the pros and cons to decide if it’s worth investing in that person. I’m so lucky my husband gets me. He backs off when I need it I don’t even have to tell him.
I forget to eat too hahaha
Amazing!!
i forget to eat sometimes to ha ha we are true infij
Same always weigh the pros and cons to everything.
As a side note your comment on forgetting to eat made remember one of your older videos where you talked about that, and at the time I said: "I could never do that." This past month I lost 6 pounds and had a lot of headaches, I would find it was like 9/ 10, and I hadn't eaten anything all day. My mind was just to busy.
Yes, I can actually imagine. I do that all the time. :)
Thats so me. Also forget to eat whilst doing stuff. And then get really ill for days after with a headache.
The part you mention at 3:30 is scary accurate. I thought that was a just an unusual thing I did, like someone i like does something and we are both crushing on each other but once they do this certain thing, i just get bored/ or feel disconnected. I don't feel hurt, just a- eh feeling. Just how you described! Now I don't feel so alone and crazy haha. I love your videos and i'm so happy I just found you. Binging them while I work! :)
Awww, I'm so glad your energy is here with us.. :)
Same. I liken to a light switch.
See with me I go "cold" because I am waiting for them to message me first. Relationships is two way street. I am pretty sure you are talking about already established relationships. My comment is more about getting one started with me. When I am in a relationship I do my best to keep the line of communication open. When I need to recharge I will say so. Same is true for the other things you mentioned. If some one is trying to get in to a relationship with me the worse thing they can do is back off. Because I have limited time to spend on people so If I was using it for you and you stop talking it will go to someone else. With out any interaction between us. How do you expect feelings to develop? I had to learn the hard way about my bad relationship habits. So I do my best to try to fix them. It is getting to the point that I consider it a full blown relationship. That is the hard part getting to that point. Once someone is at that point. I try to make it easy for them. well great video. It is a common thing to go from hot to cold in a relationship with me but I try to make it easier for them to understand it until they get how I am and we just are. Well talk to you later.
Interesting!!
This is so interesting and weird for me at the same time. Do people actually like INFJs? Maybe It's just me, but I don't believe it based on the people I'm surrounded by. I mean... If a person with the right personality came into my life and shows that he actually want to be with me for who I'm and not because he is desperate or selfish reasons, that would be nice. Sharing similar thoughts, perspectives, work together on projects and stuff would be a dream to me. Sharing and working together makes a deeper connection.
Here are some things I need to point out at once: *If there is a problem, don't try and fix it with a nice dinner or something like that.... If there's a problem -> fix the problem and then everything will go back to the way it was.* It's like: If there is no problem... Then I can't be a reflection of a problem that doesn't exist either.
In the past I've been working around INTJs, INTPs and ENTJs, and those days where the best days of my life. The INTJ were the one who helped me with all the questions I had because she knew everything about the workplace and we had similar thoughts on how to do things and if something went wrong we started laughing about it. I think the INTP was observing in the beginning and then before I knew it.. We're joking around, we shared information, perspectives and all kinds of stuff and suddenly the ENTJ walks by and shes smiling and giggling about the stuff we talked about. After working there a while I became dizzy and they're like: Have you eaten today? and I was like: Oh, no.. I forgot :O I'm so focused on the work. Thank you for reminding me! Then I was like *wosh*, they smiled and shacked their heads, and I was running out of the room.
We had separate tasks but we had so much fun and I really feel we connected. If I meet them again, I would probably think and feel It's good to be home again.
Awww, that's so sweet. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.
I love chasing squirrels but is kinda hard on relationships
Yes!!
I’m gonna show this to my boyfriend. You explain it better than I can☺️
I am like that all the time.
Again thank you 🙏🏻💜💯✌🏻
Awesome! I'm glad I could help. :)
'If we like you, we run off' 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣👌🏽 we are so weird.
Yup!
Great information and so true!
Thanks for watching!
My INFJ guy has gone cold but am not 100% which reason it is why. I don't want to assume the wrong one. Tips?
Oh wow, there could be many reasons. But mostly it could be because he is actually just busy with work, and therefore, unable to stay in touch. That's the most common reason, I would say, that we go cold. :) The best thing to do is to give him space for a few days, and then initiate a conversation online. :)
@@BoomShikha thank you! You're right, he is really busy with work this time of year especially working overtime. This also might sound crazy, but my cousin did do a tarot card reading for me and him and because he is dealing with a lot is afraid of opening up about past hurt and not ready to be honest with somethings. I'm not surprised because he has expressed that in general ways and past hurt and insecurities have come up ever a handful of times because our strong connection and overwhelming and intense amount of feelings during our 3 months of communicating everyday before he stopped initiating and decided to back off and give him space. I did message him last night though to give him some words of encouragement and to give him a personal life update from me
Great video Boom !
Thanks Eric!!
So true!!
Thanks for watching!!
As an INFJ, here are my insights for the "cold' effect from INFJ's:-
Acquaintance or friendship:- "BACK UP", don't get too close too fast, if you are liked then we will come around, if you have annoyed us then we will 'door slam' you.
Relationship:- "Breathing Space", sometimes there are too many things happening in our minds, we need to empty the clutter. Other times there is just the wrong type of emotions bombarding us, making us want to cringe or retaliate (when we retaliate, we may regret the ferocity that had overcome us).
Yes, emptying the clutter is sooo important!
Hi Boom I'm staying with my INFJ fiance and I love him to death but some times he will just go cold on me and I will start asking myself what did I do, he will say that his word is the law and tell me how special he is, not that I have a problem with him being special but he boast about it and if I do something wrong he will never tell me same time that he didn't like what I did. Is it normal because now he is so cold he be like he will tell me that he don't care, his only looking out for himself now, is this healthy?
Your INFJ seems unhealthy and not the kind of INFJ that you would want to be around.
Advice for dating and INFJ: DO NOT 😂
Hahahaha!
Boom Shikha 🤫😉
😂😂
Thank you for this message!
I am an INFJ going through a miscarriage and two surgeries in the last 6 months and my husband was not there for me emotionally at all, but he thinks he was... kinda of... haha He is an ISTP... 😅
Help me please before I hurt myself again because he keeps triggering me and try and run away before I have a melt down! 🤦🏼♀️😢
I'm so sorry to hear about all of the stuff you are going through. You are awesome, and I'm here for you in case you need it. Msg me privately on FB if you wish or email me. :)
Spot on! :)
Thanks for watching!
You're so welcome! Trying not to miss any of your astute INFJ-perspectives, or your beatiful smile for that matter! Keep up the good work! :)
Must time I like being alone and if I talk to people or offer my friendship and my time it means I like them alot. But then if people keep offending me or taking me for granted. I think 🤔wait a minute I don't need this in my life. I'm fine alone, then I start planning to dessapear. 😾 Just like a cat dessappears from a house. There is only so many times u will forget to feed the cat, maybe yell a few times at the cat, maybe kick the cat once or twice.but one day you'll come home, and that cat will be gone, nowhere to be seen.
Thanks for watching! 💥💃
Exactly the same. Start planning to leave. Will think on that for hours also. You know our minds lol.
I like being sad
Does this happen to all of you guys?
I hate to appear that I'm happy and laughing is this a problem or it's a common
Really??? I hate appearing sad. I don't want people to worry about me.
@@BoomShikha yup
I don't like to appear how I feel but I mean sitting with myself in the General life
You might be an INFP? They enjoy strong emotions even negative ones. My son is INFP and while we’re both very sensitive and empathic there is a big difference in how we experience emotion. I definitely do not enjoy strong emotion, especially negative ones they can make me physically ill. I’m always trying to get everyone to get along and be happy because my well-being depends on it.
I have found there are many similarities between INFPs and INFJs, but knowing INFPs, I know I am definitely not one. :) I have way too many schedules, to-do lists, and such, to be labeled a P.
No i don't like being sad infijs like being happy and making other people's happy also
I'll believe the 1st scenario lol
Ha!