2nd time he’s done this. Initially, it was because he was consumed and overwhelmed with work (he’s an entrepreneur.). 3 weeks of no contact. He reached out, then out of no where asked me to go to a movie. I waited for a while to agree to go. Then, he wanted to start dating again. We had a great time! Each time he said he had such an amazing time! I went away for 2 wks and he was away for a long weekend. The entire time he reached out. I didn’t pursue. I came back and out of the blue he wants to talk. Said, “his heart isn’t in it and he’s sorry for wasting my time.” Couldn’t give me any reasons. He’s divorced (as am I.). I was in the process of divorce when we met and he’s been divorced for 7 yrs. His wife left him. I’ve been in therapy for my divorce for 3 yrs. He hasn’t had therapy since shortly after his divorce. What gives? I’m in shock again.
My ex came back in Feb 2022 this year after 9 months of no contact she was wearing the ring I got her and items I got her she would kiss me, tell me I’m the only one she sees in her future but when it came to getting serious she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship. It baffles me how someone can be like that I just think it’s so ugly the rose color glasses came off completely and I blocked her off everything. It hurt yes of course I thought I was going to marry this person but this behavior was so draining
It was like that for 5 months, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I changed so much for the better and she would cry about that because she said I did better without her so I just told her why couldn’t we just grow together and she can never answer me seeing her cry I thought she would change but again she only told me what I wanted to hear actions speak louder she put me in the back burner as friends and parties are a priority for her Truly heartbreaking
@@erikarivera3493 People are weird! blowing hot & cold all the time...and not caring one bit how they are hurting you. It was okay for her to lose you again...so bloody cruel and narcissistic.
@@sueanne3139 trust me I know, it was so frustrating but if someone is so okay with losing me I’m okay losing them back but it really isn’t my loss I did think this was so cruel tho but I do believe in karma
@@sueanne3139 I feel so much more confident now, and know she’ll never have it as good as she had it so I’m okay with knowing that she’ll regret it lol
@@sueanne3139 it was her second reach out from the year before so I’m sure I’ll hear from her again sometime but thinking about that annoys tf out me lol
Hi Coach Craig, I was hoping you could do a video on anxious dumpers and what they feel following a breakup/if they are likely to respond to NC. I browsed the channel but couldn't find anything specific to this. Love your content by the way, just purchased the workbooks. Thanks!
Wow, this sounds really similar to my situation. He wanted out o the relationship, citing work issues, but would not break up with me, instead he quiet quit, and forced me to dump him. After dumping him, he tried to be a friend and all, breadcrumbed me, and next thing I know, he was dating his new co-worker. I suspect he is either an avoidant or disorganised attachment style.
“He quiet quit” Omg LOVE this term. Never occurred to me until you said it but this is EXACTLY what my ex did with me! Kept me at arms length for almost a year, bread crumbing me, doing the absolute bare minimum to keep in touch and held me at arm’s length. We didn’t see each other for 8 months before I was like “What gives?” - he was just not interested in seeing me again cause he didn’t trust I wouldn’t want more than just a casual relationship with him. I had to cut the cord and move on with my life without him. From now on I am calling it like it is - he quiet quit our relationship LONG before I officially ended it. Thank you for this insight!
@Coach Craig can you please do a video for this Scenario i caught my boyfriend out he tried to end the relationship last night Until the points I made He stayed quiet and realized that he wasn't sure if he wanted to leave he said that he needed to be alone to battle he's demons I told him to not contact me until he knows what he wants I'm feeling hurt he messed up before that and even admitted he would rather leave then work To make it up to me
Girl I’m seeing is saying this atm she needs to focus on herself an she’s scared to put a label on stuff. She has had a very hard life both parents abandoned her her ex was abusive and cheated numerous times. I thought it was an excuse but she says she likes me but she’s just scared to be hurt again. I’m caught between its bs or kinda true lol
Narc red flags here!! Way too quick to jump into things like that, wants marriage and kids with you one month - two months later wants nothing to do with you. People like that are never worth trying to fix things with, they want it all for themselves and they’re usually not afraid to hurt you
Lol this sounds like my ex - but we were together for 4 years and had a house together... I cut him out months ago, with exactly your words following breadcrumbs. Your response to this type of situation isn't particularly clear though Craig, are people that just walk away like this avoidant and just scared when triggered hence the quick moving on and minimising? And do these people actually ever come back or just monkey branch away?
Ive tried showing my ex im dedicated to her by taking myself out of the dating seen. Our break up was right after highschool 10 years ago and ive wanted to stay dedicated to her to show her i really do love her. I think about her every day :/
What if my ex said he is not ready for a relationship in general and wants to be the lone wolf? I was his first girlfriend at the age of 25 and after 1,5 years he broke up with me because he wants to be alone again. Almost 4 months since the breakup and I know from a "friend" that my ex is still single and has all my gifts I gave him, still in his flat and car. We think he has depression, because he is only sitting at home alone since the breakup.
Avoidant , probably got overwhelmed, let him process his thoughts and if he reaches to you eventually which he probably will, take it easy and slowly, don’t jump too quick into the relationships, might be hard cuz feelings can betray but try to practice emotional control and when you guys get back together convince to go to therapy together. Also , I would love to tell you to not hold back your life invest in you
I’m no expert but I’ve been studying a lot and watched and listened carefully for the past 3 months since my breakup and I know how hard it can be but I’ve learned that we often tend to mess things up when we don’t know how to control our emotions and the only way I found to excercise this had been to try and lisent to what other people has to say without interrupting them , this might sound very easy but it is indeed very hard , then you can give your point of view and also for emotional control , practice this with your family a lot , bring up things that bother you and that you do not usually like to talk about or you avoid in order to not face the problem ,be honest about how you feel but being respectful. I know the scenario will be much worse and different facing your ex but don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Usually when we are heading to confront or talk with our exes, we know what we have to say but any little thing they say could make us completely break our plan. Do not let their words destroy your plan of action and do not let their words manipulate you but try to understand what they’re trying to communicate and try to be emphatic since most of them don’t even know what is going through their head. Do not make the mistake to settle down for friendship unless it’s something that you want but you will definitely reduce your chances being friends with them since they can have access to you any time they miss you and this could help them move on more quickly. I know how hard it is to implement this concepts since even me I have made most of this mistakes. I want to let you know that I almost thought I was gonna die of sadness and felt like my life was done and still feel like that in the mornings but everyday has been better and better. Time does indeed heal
Same thing happened to me. We had discussed marriage and engagement, then his mom called and cut off the relationship and then he disappeared. We had the same issues with lack of communication and hiding information.
The course is phenomenal.
🙏🙌
2nd time he’s done this. Initially, it was because he was consumed and overwhelmed with work (he’s an entrepreneur.). 3 weeks of no contact. He reached out, then out of no where asked me to go to a movie. I waited for a while to agree to go. Then, he wanted to start dating again. We had a great time! Each time he said he had such an amazing time! I went away for 2 wks and he was away for a long weekend. The entire time he reached out. I didn’t pursue. I came back and out of the blue he wants to talk. Said, “his heart isn’t in it and he’s sorry for wasting my time.” Couldn’t give me any reasons. He’s divorced (as am I.). I was in the process of divorce when we met and he’s been divorced for 7 yrs. His wife left him. I’ve been in therapy for my divorce for 3 yrs. He hasn’t had therapy since shortly after his divorce. What gives? I’m in shock again.
My ex came back in Feb 2022 this year after 9 months of no contact she was wearing the ring I got her and items I got her
she would kiss me, tell me I’m the only one she sees in her future but when it came to getting serious she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship. It baffles me how someone can be like that I just think it’s so ugly the rose color glasses came off completely and I blocked her off everything.
It hurt yes of course I thought I was going to marry this person but this behavior was so draining
It was like that for 5 months, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I changed so much for the better and she would cry about that because she said I did better without her so I just told her why couldn’t we just grow together and she can never answer me seeing her cry I thought she would change but again she only told me what I wanted to hear actions speak louder she put me in the back burner as friends and parties are a priority for her
Truly heartbreaking
@@erikarivera3493 People are weird! blowing hot & cold all the time...and not caring one bit how they are hurting you. It was okay for her to lose you again...so bloody cruel and narcissistic.
@@sueanne3139 trust me I know, it was so frustrating but if someone is so okay with losing me I’m okay losing them back but it really isn’t my loss I did think this was so cruel tho but I do believe in karma
@@sueanne3139 I feel so much more confident now, and know she’ll never have it as good as she had it so I’m okay with knowing that she’ll regret it lol
@@sueanne3139 it was her second reach out from the year before so I’m sure I’ll hear from her again sometime but thinking about that annoys tf out me lol
This was my clue to abandon ship - it's a way for men to manipulate you into accepting a lesser relationship...nope!
👏
Hi Coach Craig,
I was hoping you could do a video on anxious dumpers and what they feel following a breakup/if they are likely to respond to NC. I browsed the channel but couldn't find anything specific to this.
Love your content by the way, just purchased the workbooks.
Thanks!
Wow, this sounds really similar to my situation. He wanted out o the relationship, citing work issues, but would not break up with me, instead he quiet quit, and forced me to dump him. After dumping him, he tried to be a friend and all, breadcrumbed me, and next thing I know, he was dating his new co-worker. I suspect he is either an avoidant or disorganised attachment style.
“He quiet quit” Omg LOVE this term. Never occurred to me until you said it but this is EXACTLY what my ex did with me! Kept me at arms length for almost a year, bread crumbing me, doing the absolute bare minimum to keep in touch and held me at arm’s length. We didn’t see each other for 8 months before I was like “What gives?” - he was just not interested in seeing me again cause he didn’t trust I wouldn’t want more than just a casual relationship with him. I had to cut the cord and move on with my life without him. From now on I am calling it like it is - he quiet quit our relationship LONG before I officially ended it. Thank you for this insight!
@@KimJilene sorry you had to go through that, but you're better off without him
@Coach Craig can you please do a video for this Scenario i
caught my boyfriend out he tried to end the relationship last night
Until the points I made
He stayed quiet and realized that he wasn't sure if he wanted to leave he said that he needed to be alone to battle he's demons
I told him to not contact me until he knows what he wants
I'm feeling hurt he messed up before that and even admitted he would rather leave then work
To make it up to me
Girl I’m seeing is saying this atm she needs to focus on herself an she’s scared to put a label on stuff. She has had a very hard life both parents abandoned her her ex was abusive and cheated numerous times. I thought it was an excuse but she says she likes me but she’s just scared to be hurt again. I’m caught between its bs or kinda true lol
Narc red flags here!! Way too quick to jump into things like that, wants marriage and kids with you one month - two months later wants nothing to do with you. People like that are never worth trying to fix things with, they want it all for themselves and they’re usually not afraid to hurt you
My ex is desperate, he is with a rebound that is 2000 miles away! Went straight from me to her. Never had time to reflect on our 5 yr relationship .
Sounds very similar to my story
Sounded like my ex too, except we were together 10 years
Lol this sounds like my ex - but we were together for 4 years and had a house together... I cut him out months ago, with exactly your words following breadcrumbs. Your response to this type of situation isn't particularly clear though Craig, are people that just walk away like this avoidant and just scared when triggered hence the quick moving on and minimising? And do these people actually ever come back or just monkey branch away?
Who wants a breadcrumber anyway.. 🍞
Ive tried showing my ex im dedicated to her by taking myself out of the dating seen. Our break up was right after highschool 10 years ago and ive wanted to stay dedicated to her to show her i really do love her. I think about her every day :/
Good morning coach!
It would take Herculean strength to not to look at the open social media content of your very possible near future to be EX.
Sounds exactly like how my relationship ended after 4 years together and being engaged for 3 of those years
Pandemic love can be different from non-the Pandemic love as it could be more needy than the one free with options. IMHO.
What if my ex said he is not ready for a relationship in general and wants to be the lone wolf? I was his first girlfriend at the age of 25 and after 1,5 years he broke up with me because he wants to be alone again. Almost 4 months since the breakup and I know from a "friend" that my ex is still single and has all my gifts I gave him, still in his flat and car. We think he has depression, because he is only sitting at home alone since the breakup.
Avoidant , probably got overwhelmed, let him process his thoughts and if he reaches to you eventually which he probably will, take it easy and slowly, don’t jump too quick into the relationships, might be hard cuz feelings can betray but try to practice emotional control and when you guys get back together convince to go to therapy together. Also , I would love to tell you to not hold back your life invest in you
I’m no expert but I’ve been studying a lot and watched and listened carefully for the past 3 months since my breakup and I know how hard it can be but I’ve learned that we often tend to mess things up when we don’t know how to control our emotions and the only way I found to excercise this had been to try and lisent to what other people has to say without interrupting them , this might sound very easy but it is indeed very hard , then you can give your point of view and also for emotional control , practice this with your family a lot , bring up things that bother you and that you do not usually like to talk about or you avoid in order to not face the problem ,be honest about how you feel but being respectful. I know the scenario will be much worse and different facing your ex but don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Usually when we are heading to confront or talk with our exes, we know what we have to say but any little thing they say could make us completely break our plan. Do not let their words destroy your plan of action and do not let their words manipulate you but try to understand what they’re trying to communicate and try to be emphatic since most of them don’t even know what is going through their head. Do not make the mistake to settle down for friendship unless it’s something that you want but you will definitely reduce your chances being friends with them since they can have access to you any time they miss you and this could help them move on more quickly. I know how hard it is to implement this concepts since even me I have made most of this mistakes. I want to let you know that I almost thought I was gonna die of sadness and felt like my life was done and still feel like that in the mornings but everyday has been better and better. Time does indeed heal
Sounds pretty similar what happened to me, and what Craig said to my story.
Avoidant/ narcissistic traits 🙄
Uggh 🤯😤
Same thing happened to me. We had discussed marriage and engagement, then his mom called and cut off the relationship and then he disappeared. We had the same issues with lack of communication and hiding information.
It should always be the woman who brings up the idea of a relationship. If she never brings it up, she's not ready.
Just work on yourself. there’s no good men/women left. forget it.
Move on from this guy... Sounds like you're looking for hope... He has misled you just by him not knowing what he wants... Let yourself be free
✨️💕✨️💕✨️