The girls said something similar about Zanab - that by the end, Zanab became a shell of the person she started as. It seems it was toxic to both of them
She is a typical narcissist with a very fragile ego and twisting reality is one of the sure signs she is waaay down on the narcissistic spectrum. NPD is not treatable.
Also, Colleen would tell everyone that Cole said she was “shallow”, when he never said that, SHE called herself SHALLOW, then preceded to tell everyone that Cole was the one who said that. These girls project their insecurities and create false narratives.
For real.. Idk how she expected someone who’s never seen her to propose to her after she admitted to them that she cannot/is not willing to have deep conversations 😅
Colleen really did that. And people are giving Cole shit for it. Like he was such an easy target. That says soo much about his innocense. But people like Matt, Zanab and Bartisse are good?
I remember that, I was shocked how she just made up sh*t completely. Cole just wanted to be able to have deep conversations with her and she said she couldn't do it... My mouth dropped when she went back to the room with the other girls and she was crying, and she just blatantly lied about what he said.
Did you noticed a couple of his friends smirking after she did her shpell? One also said under his breath...:"he deserved that" and "their on the same page".
@@SunShine-lq7yt I just rewatched that part of their wedding and saw that Her friends smirked none of his friends did. His friend said I thought they were on the same page. When his friends came to hug him one of his friends said to him "you didnt deserve that".
She manipulated everyone and I believe the entire cast should apologize to Cole for the way they treated him during the reunion. He did not deserve all that hate. Yes, he was immature and did and said some things that were questionable, but the entire show all she did was belittle him. That kitchen scene definitely was an eye opener for me as far as seeing the kind of person Zanab is. I think she already knew she was going to humiliate him at the wedding and was just going along with the show to further hurt him.
Yeah! I agree. She's saying oh imagine what he said off camera. WHAT DID YOU SAY OFF CAMERA ?!?! 🤣 ugh. I'm so conflicted. I feel bad for her and I am annoyed at her lack of self awareness
@@Rasheedaxo You know the sad thing is I do understand why she has a victim mentally, but it’s like.. At some point, she has to take responsibility for her actions. She isn’t the only person who’s ever lost her parents, or endured pain in her life. Not everyone goes around hurting others for the fun of it. That type of behavior is extremely dangerous because she will tear down those around her without any remorse.
Something else you forgot to mention is how Cole reacted when they tried to make Zanab look bad at the reunion, with all the nagging clips. He actually stood up for her and played it down. It would have been a perfect opportunity to get back at her but he didn't, instead teying to protect her. Which in my opinion, further shows that deep down he has a good heart.
I honestly want to know how the girls feel after they see that scene like I’ve had a friend like this before. I would be on her side until I started to recognize how she was negative towards everything and eventually even me.
I definitely didn't agree with how they ganged up on him especially Alexa she need mind her business she just kept coming for him like girl worry about your man!
I saw who she really was the minute she came out of the pods and started to be her true self. The major passive aggressive action was the day of the wedding, when she prayed for him and then proceeded to literally destroy his character in front of his friends. That was total EVIL….
From the get go I didn’t like her, she just seemed to fake to me, (also I find her voice very annoying) and then as soon as they interacted outside of the pods she was bitchy to Cole, and I’m like what the heck bro?
@@beajack4990 I totally agree with your comment. Just a shame Cole didnt get ALL the red flags. Zanab was just the worst match for him! I think Cole has some emotional imbalance like ADHD or maybe even bipolar without knowing it.
She certainly did not fool me 😂 When I saw her make a big deal out of whether he said good versus great. My alarm 🚨 went off and knew she would be a lot!!
I find it weird that Zanab had all those things to say about Cole but then tells him she loves him and would do it all over again, but he killed her self esteem, BUT he’s a good man, and she could have dragged him. It’s giving narcissist and gaslighter
When on a deeper NPD spectrum, ability to perceive info and integrate it logically gets lost. If the person doesn't make sense to you, it's one of the red flags that they most likely having a personality disorder
Zanab is literally a psycho. After I watched the cuties thing, I couldn't figure out what he said that was wrong. I had to re-watch it because I thought I missed something. I feel so bad for Cole.
Not only did he ask her why she wasn't eating, but also mentioned that he offered her a poke bowl that day which she had turned down. Which show the opposite narrative of what Zaneb is trying to get us to believe. Feel so sorry for this guy, definitely got hit a lot harder than he deserved, that woman is a nut job
She gives me the unpopular girl in high school that saw an opportunity to date a popular guy later in life. She wanted to destroy him for her own purposes.
In the pods, Zanab seemed like she was fun and adventurous and told Cole they will fly out to different countries and try new experiences together. During their trip to Malibu, she made a 180 and complained about everything from not getting into the pool or getting her hair and makeup wet. She did not sound like that fun and adventurous person anymore afterwards.
I didn’t connect it before but you’re completely right. In the pods I already disliked her because of the tone she has while speaking, as she was smelling something bad. Anyway, in the pods she made Cole believe that she was playful and loved travelling. I’m sorry but what is the sens in going on holidays if you don’t even go into the sea or the pool? I mean, is he allowed to have fun at all?
I noticed this too. I love adventure and novelty, and if someone bait and switched me like this, I would be livid. Maybe that's why I actually liked Andrew at the beginning lmao. Yes take me on safari 🤣
I realized this after the series. As women, we want to believe women we want to stand up for women. Understandably so. HOWEVER, we need to acknowledge women can play a part in toxic relationships. Do you think this guy is not unscathed either ? Omgggggg I have so much to say about this !
I feel that this guy was very misunderstood . Our world can be so unempathetic to both sides. Imagine - imagine being called horrible things like a narcissist because you act like your 12. Acting immature yes can be hurtful or annoying but not to the cost of the world hating you.
I did not like Zanab from the beginning, she came across as rude. And she made excuses for her rude behavior. Cole had issues too. I'm glad they did not get married.
Agree there was something about her that I didn't like... also when he asked if she was bipolar I immediately was like wait maybe thats what has been off with her... not saying that she is at all but im with Cole whats causing you to act the way you do yet Cole is a bad guy but wait she also said he is a great guy... which is it?.
Zanab checked out immediately after Cole said she's a 9/10 but Colleen and Raven are 10/10. In the pods she was telling Cole that she loves to travel and will take him around the world, but when Cole brought up visiting her family in England, she couldn't even pretend to care because she knew she's going to say no at the altar. Cole dodged a bullet with Zanab though, bet he won't be out looking for someone who's deep and serious anymore haha
OMG you are sooo right, she did say they would travel the world. She knew what she was doing, that's why she had already told her friends of the "shitty" things he had done and they applauded after she DESTROYED him at the altar. What a liar. I cant.
@@reyesy25 I mean Cole said a lot of dumb things because he's immature, but a lot of times Zanab pushed him to react negatively because she was constantly picking on him and criticizing every little thing he does. So what if the chicken is white and he's clueless about cooking and seasoning the food, it was her who asked him to cook for her so don't go expecting him to cook up a Michelin star meal, poor guy was trying so hard to make her happy.
You are so right and I noticed it too. She was very evasive when he was so sweet talking about visiting her family. She was skirting the issue, then insulted him with the “ you speak Cole” comment.
Even on their wedding day after Zanab got on the dais with Cole, he kept complimenting how stunning she looked and then stroked her arm affectionately. She looked to check if something was wrong with her arm and in the next shot had it covered with her veil. Probably thinks that Cole gestured for her to cover herself because her arm is too fat or something. Her inner narrative is painful and she puts that pain on Cole
That part was despicable because she was all smiles and pumping Cole up to be excited just to crush him in the cruelest fashion. By the way, I didn't appreciate the montage where Cole was expecting her at the altar all doom and gloom when in reality that happened AFTER Zanep did her number.
The way she presented the cuties seen was wild. She made it seem like he knew she had nothing to eat all day when he was shocked to hear all she had was a banana. In addition to him having offered the poke bowl
There was a reviewer who did explain the scene a bit better in that, they both could have taken the situation the wrong way. Like they both don’t know how to talk to one another
@@BabyGirlTiny In this case we can see time after time it was Zanab the entire season. I noticed this from the first few episodes. She repeatedly lied on camera and she is toxic and abusive to Cole. That is more than just a communication misunderstanding.
She literally said she doesn’t listen to him. She is a classic case of projection. She accused him of everything SHE did to HIM. Belittled, criticized, was passive-aggressive, withholding, etc….
I literally cried at the end of the reunion when Cole was crying. To me he seemed genuine in his apology there, you could see that he really felt bad about the thought that he made her feel that way. It was clear from the beginning she already didn't have self confidence so in my opinion, there was nothing he could do to make her feel worse about herself than she already did. I was so glad when they actually played the footage from the tangerine scene becuase you could tell he was actually concerned wondering why she wasn't eating... then instead of using that moment to tell him how she was feeling she made a passive aggressive comment and waited until the alter to cause him embarrassment. He was immature I will say that but so was she and I really don't believe he is as bad as Zae is making him out to be.
Zanab only ate a banana with peanut butter for that entire day b/c she rejected Cole’s offer to buy her poke bowl (since they ate that the previous night). I think at that point, Cole should’ve responded with “Okay, then what else would you prefer to eat?”. Instead, he joked that she was trying to loose weight for her wedding dress (probably as an attempt to lighten the mood). But even if that was the case, he should’ve told her that he doesn’t want her to compromise her health b/c her body is beautiful the way that it is 💗. And at the very least, he should’ve let her eat her tangerines 🍊 in peace without implying that she needs to “save her appetite”. lol! Don’t get me wrong, there are times when Cole intentionally negged Zanab. But in certain circumstances like these, he might’ve been genuinely clueless about reading & responding to Zanab’s emotions 😅
@@linann96 I do think he was clueless. They really had just met each other and he seems genuinely confused when she said that was all she had eaten. In this situation I did not get the impression he was at all concerned about her weight but was only asking because they had a dinner reservation... but I do agree he should have just let her eat without asking. She's a grown woman and if she had been spoiling her dinner she should be allowed lol.
@@linann96 When I watch the video, the saving the appetite comment was made because he was excited about the dinner. He was implying that it was going to be a lot of food and he wanted her to enjoy everything in the meal. It sounded like he was excited to eat a big meal with his fiance and wanted her to enjoy the entire full course. I think she may suffer from body image issues. He also asked her why she only ate a banana and peanut butter. He seemed concerned.
I noticed Zanib's toxicity as soon as they left thr pods. Her getting mad when Cole said they had a good night instead of a great night and even the comments about Colleen. She egged that out of Cole. She asked him to rate her and he gave her a 9/10 and instead of taking the compliment she continues to dig and get Cole to say he thought Colleen was hotter. Zanib thinks she's perfect and knows it all. She seems the type that will run a man away with her nagging
@@cheesehead91182 Exactly. What's more, you don't even know this person. If you know your worth and value as she has stated, how can she be so crushed and hurt by someone she's known a few days? Makes no sense to me.
She actually said a prayer before doing Cole dirty. She did him a favor by saying no and I’m so glad that he did not try to reach out to Zanab because she’s horrible!
One thing that Cole mentioned was that when they were in the pods and he was picturing him and Zanab having their conversations, he pictured her making remarks jokingly with a smile on his face. Once they started their little honeymoon period, he said he realized that she was very serious about everything. That may be what caused that disassociation from the person in the pods to the person she was in real life.
I noticed the same thing and felt that insecure Zanab was intentionally changing her behaviour in the pods. She sensed what Cole was about and modified her behaviour so much that the person she was in the pod became a lie. I think most people do these sort of things in a lot smaller scale when they meet someone interesting. e.g. taking on the same interest as your crush.
Watching cole cry at the reunion was so hard to watch, I cant believe they let that happen. I do not want to see more seasons honestly. And you are 100% right, zanab only listens to fight back! Cole's eyes were so sad and tired in a lot of their scenes toward the end
So many of my friends that watched the show agree with you about Zanab! It’s obvious she is a narcissist or has narcissistic traits with the gaslighting, not taking any accountability, arrogance and needs admiration. Cole was definitely immature and should watch what he says at times but he was not cruel or overly critical. And what is even more surprising is the other women on the show completely support her and laugh at the way she treated Cole. Just very strange to us………….
I started the season hating Cole and now feel so bad for him! Now I think the hurtful things he said were out of immaturity and a lack of awareness of how he came off. The hurtful things Zanab said were out of pure malice. Cole really seemed broken and reflective at the reunion. I got the impression he’s learned and can grow. Zanab? Not so much. (Insert gif of Tyra screaming, “We were all rooting for you!”).
I told my husband after a few episodes that I was really starting to like Cole and he was surprised but then grew to like him too. I am silly and playful and random in the same way he is. I still cringed at some of the stuff he said, but gradually I noticed that those things that made me go "ooof, he shouldn't have said that" always came after zanab had poked and picked and tormented him. He had his uncomfortable moments, but he really was trying and he looked at her with so much affection and love. She never seemed to look at him that way. Yes, "pool gate" wasn't pleasant. But it was, what? Their second day of actually meeting each other. The pods were still so fresh in their minds and it was before his feelings realllly developed for zanab
I like to watch shows like these with my kids (they particularly don't enjoy them), I make them watch these shows for educational purposes; so they learn about red flags and other behavioral & relationship things. The first red flag we saw was their fight when Cole used "so good, so so good" to describe their night and she used "great", but she decided to make a full on argument/ fight over it. Also, her lack of communication towards him was alright, but his lack of communication towards her was not. I also caught him saying that she punched him in the face, and she said that she didn't, and he replied "it sure felt like it" or something along those lines; but right after she gave the weirdest looking face that was so off to me.
I knew from the moment she accused him of giving her the silent treatment that Zanab was going to be extremely problematic. I actually started thinking it when she used her story about losing her parents early on in life as a way to connect emotionally with Cole. It triggered me because I was married to someone just like her and once you see their tricks, you can't unsee them.
Because soon after they will not be a good person and they use their trauma stories to soften the blow or make people feel bad for them ? ( I’m asking not arguing , because that’s how I personally have witnessed some people .. )
@@TwiVideos yep they use their trauma story to make you feel sorry for them, as an excuse for bad behavior, as a way to make you feel protective of them, a way to engage your nurturing side. It works for a lot of things. When anyone starts telling me a sob story soon after I've met them, I know they are trying to manipulate me. I think healthy people save those stories for people they know well and trust.
Right! Just because you have trauma doesn’t mean you can be a b*tch 🙄 it makes people that have trauma or girls that have ACTUALLY been abused seem like they’re trying to victimize themselves due to people like her representing them
Yesss! I was looking for a comment like this! I knew she was off when she said Cole "switched on her" after they woke up. She basically did everything she accused him of. I, too, experienced people like her in my life. It's true, their tactics are almost identical across the board. It's weirdly fascinating - not that hurting people is fascinating, but the fact that these people operate so dysfunctionally. They all have this hollow coldness to them once their masks come off.
Zanab had me fooled too initially but gradually you could see it. She even admitted that she didn't listen to him when he spoke to her. But she methodically beat him down and told us it was the other way around. She deliberately picked a young immature guy because he would tolerate it better. She's evil and I say that sadly as she was my favorite
Absolutely! I can't believe I didn't remember Cole confiding in the guys about feeling beaten down so early on! If that was him after 2 days, I can't imagine how much he dealt with in 7 weeks.
Agreed. It was emotional abuse. She was draining him of positivity. I hope she will get better and get a good therapist. If she would be doing this to some 42 yo man, he would got rid of her quickly. She used Cole's youth, naivetee, immaturity to twilight him, manipulate him and even confuse him that at the reunion poor guy actually thought his a monster. While she and the other candidates were getting off on Cole's abuse. It was terrible to watch.
@@GraceReport I hope he's ok after that shocking and painful experience. Imagine going on a dating show and it turns out to be the worst thing you've ever gone through. The bullying and heckling from the other women was over the top too. Sometimes people are fragile and get in to self destructive behaviors after a traumatic event
I could see faults from both ends during the season. However I couldn't help but notice times where Cole looked randomly broken and felt there were things happening off camera. His faults seemed more foot in mouth/immature and her faults seemed more deliberate and intentionally mean spirited. I could see her say nice things to him with a flat face and tone and was able to understand him asking her if she even liked him, because it was not translating. The oranges scene solidified for me that nothing she said could be trusted, along with his stunned reactions at the wedding and reunion that he was being gaslit. She started off the wedding ceremony saying beautiful things even opening with a prayer and then let him say beautiful romantic things before she said no and shredded him apart before God and everyone. It was the epitome of Narcissistic abuse with the love bombing followed by the takedown. It was calculated and planned and coordinated with her friends applause and staged walkout behind her for the final mic drop. Disgusting. The one good/bittersweet moment was to see his guy friends rally around him and circle around him for support.
Zanab was trying to be the deepti of the season so bad. She thought that speech at the wedding was going to be her “empowering moment”. She even tried to make Cole the shake of the reunion. Cole wasn’t perfect but in no way was he a shake. And no way she could be deepti. Zanab was rude. She lied multiple times. And I think she low key wanted Matt to be more mad at Colleen than he was. And it worked because he started a whole thing about it again at that dinner. She’s very calculating.
@@thetoriguide9713 everything bartise did was okay in her eyes. But going off Zenabs fake stories to sit there and attack Cole, like if Bartise hadn’t just embarrassed her 😒 they didn’t stop until cole was literally in tears.
If you really pay attention to the reunion, Zanab is not the first person to bring up the Cuties or the girl at the bachelor party. The other girls are. In my opinion, she exaggerated and lied to make Cole look bad, and didn't think it would be brought up at the reunion. And when it was, she had to double down on her lies.
This video needed to be made. Reflecting on her behavior now has been so eye-opening. Nobody mentions the episode where they’re trying on the dresses and then Z goes on and on about how her parents not being there. Despite everybody trying to reassure her. Did you notice Colleen‘s friend‘s reaction? I was her 😬 That was cringe AF
Actually at the time I felt like she kept going on and on because everyone was just so awkward and dismissing her feelings with the “they are here” it was making me so upset like NOBODY stood up to give her a hug, unless they edited out. It gave me a odd feeling!
@@paulak9871 I actually thought it was sweet of them to say that her parents are looking down on her from heaven ☺️. But it would’ve been even sweeter if they followed it up with a group hug. I feel like she was needing that physical affection from her friends 🫂
@@linann96 I think they said “they are here” so many times though, it didn’t seem to be comforting her even though SHE is religious herself, so I think it came off dismissive to me. To the point Z had to be prefacing her feelings with “I know they are here” but…
Just to be clear, it was pretty gut wrenching- I lost a parent young too, but she kept going negative every time they were trying to reassure her. I feel bad , but the family members of the other ladies were strangers. Like, know your audience 🤷🏼♀️. IMO
@@kittykatFL23 I’m so sorry you lost a parent young. People process deep grief differently, I don’t think expressing deep grief while you are trying on a wedding dress for the first time can be controlled because you have the “wrong audience “. The other girls were supposedly her friends. I think instead this situation could be revealing the other girls didn’t feel that close to her and maybe had gotten in a habit of dismissing her feelings because she was often negative.
I'm so glad you made this video!!! I was fooled by her the whole season and mostly focused on Bartise toxic behavior, until she belittled Cole in the kitchen when he was trying to make dinner. She then went to the girls upset saying he asked if she was bipolar. Not telling them what happened leading up to that. She is extremely toxic and did subtle things over time!!! And what she pulled at the altar really said, I'm going to humiliate him and get people to focus on what he "did" instead of the fact that I am walking away. I'm so glad the orange scene was shown at the end. Zanab is manipulative. She flew under the radar because she is a woman and she is pretty.( I'm going to the watch the video now and comment again...I needed to get that off my chest before hand.... 😂)
I remember zanab telling cole she didn’t know he’s “the male version of Megan fox.” It could be that she feels insecure next to him, so she makes him feel miserable by constantly putting him down.
Thank you for making this video! More people need to realize what kind of person Zenab is. I feel so heartbroken for Cole. She is a horrible narcissist. Cole might be immature but he does NOT have bad intentions. I really wish Cole and Colleen got together because Matt also seems toxic 🤦🏻♀️
Matt is definitely toxic he got anger issues and wanna be chased. did you catch the scene when bartiste* was telling him how lucky and he says “hey man ik you’re jealous…” it’s like wtf he said nothing to give that impression at least not in that scene
Honestly Zay and the cast owes Cole an apology. They should do a follow up which im sure they will. Zay was hot and cold the ENTIRE time even up to the wedding. She was Smilling, crying, praying, and saying how much she loves him. Then turns into another person and humiliates him. He had every reason to ask her if she was bipolar.
Crying with no visible tears. Lol. Prior to that they had a discussion off camera and he said this is just too soon, we need to work on things. He said they agreed to say no but continue to date! They also had a couples counseling session! Per interview with Cole. And his sister face timed with Zay to meet her. My theory is that she was externally agreeing but internally fuming and told all her friends crap and planned that big scene at the altar.
Zanab belittled Cole. Everything he did wasn't right or good enough for her. She snapped at him so many times. Cole wasn't perfect, but nobody deserves to be talked to like they're in a battle.
@@not_botheredd9893 She messy too, throwing towels in the tub and her hair in the toilet. No need to be talking down to someone else you supposedly love
@@not_botheredd9893 It Is normal though. As a stay at home mom to 2 boys and a husband for the last decade I pick up after my boys and husband. If you really think a wife doesn't ever pick up after her husband you're wrong. My husband picks up after himself sometimes but he doesn't always and that's fine because we're a team and we both do our part for the family. I still love him regardless if he always cleans up after himself or not.
Also when Zanab was talking to the other girls during the honeymoon stage she was complaining about Cole giving her the silent treatment (in reference to their first morning together where she ended up being super cold to him.) I knew from that moment on that she was not a reliable narrator. And from every moment forward she proceeded to be everything Grace mentioned. Passive aggressive, nitpicky, negative, a victim. I was horrified at what she said/did at the altar, and I did not for a moment believe her accusations during the reunion. But so glad they aired the tangerine scene. Cole could have had his life ruined. Also I was under the impression that Cole DID season the chicken. She was complaining about the chicken needing seasoning but as he went to season it she said that side had enough. So I think he just hadn't seasoned the other side, which makes sense because he had JUST flipped the chicken when she was complaining about it being unseasoned. Also he had seasoning on the counter right beside where he was cooking. Who has seasoning right there, with the other cooking supplies they're using, unless they're using it? Also I can't believe I'm arguing about seasoned/unseasoned chicken like it's important. But people are acting like what he did is horrible. I think if someone is making you dinner for the first time, hold any and all critiques for some other time. You can even season the food how you like once it's been served. Otherwise say thank you, shut up, and eat it.
I agree with all of this but I have been waiting for someone to comment on the chicken seasoning. So many people going on and on about this. As you stated, someone is doing something nice for you just eat it and be grateful. When they ask how it was, you can gently mention the seasoning if it means so much to you or wait. There are ways of communicating without being hurtful and condescending.
Yes, that whole scene was horrible to watch. the critisism of EVERY.LITTLE.THING.HE.DID! while he is trying to do a nice thing and cook for her, she takes over and belittles him for everythign and in the end says "huh, it's so nice making food while you were the one who was supposed to cook for me".. then fing let him. Him just simply existing annoyed her. Ugh.
I think she has BPD. I have it and went to therapy for a long ass time to get myself under control and it’s still hard. I see it in her. She’s been through trauma with her family situation. Him making it clear she’s not his type physically, destroyed her. From that point on, everything he did, she saw it in the worst way possible. I think a lot of things Cole did as a joke like the orange situation, now she’s seeing it as he’s attacking her. I truly think she believes what she’s saying, like that it was really hurtful to her. I feel bad for Cole because I don’t think he was trying to hurt her. The Colleen thing was wrong but everything happened so fast that I can see how you can get caught up. He is a good guy and I think she’s a good woman but they’re a bad match.
I agree. I am BPD too and I’ve had to work hard to get my reactions and passive aggressiveness in check and it’s still hard. She has major attachment problems and low self esteem. When he asked her if she is bipolar, I thought to myself no but she’s definitely BPD
@@angiem1704 agree but coming from someone with BPD, she sees it as HE started it when he did the Colleen thing and now she’s just reacting to what he did. Not saying she’s right about that but she sees her issues as reactions to his actions.
imo she is neutral at best. i have sympathy for mental health problems but once those problems start causing you to try and falsely ruin someone else's reputation, i start to look at them a different way
Def NPD or BPD. I thought the same thing. Either she genuinely felt like a victim in the moment (BPD) or its a manipulatory tool (NPD), in either case, she seems personality disordered to me. Even Cole, recognized she had a mental health issue but misdiagnosed as bipolar, which is understandable.
The more I think about it, the more I see the classic Narcissistic traits. They are master manipulators. The hot and cold, the stone walling, the I am perfect and I act this way because of what you did to me. The punishing of Cole when he did something wrong. Cole was confused. Cole was alienated by everyone in the cast, he was painted the villain, no one believed him, the classic victim of a Narcissist. I finally understood why he said she was bipolar too. He said they had a lot of fun and laughs but we never saw that. Can you imagine living with someone you love so much, you had fun and laughs with and suddenly she stone walls you and give you that negative attitude that says "boy you did something that made Mommy angry"?
Z was gloating in the reunion. She showed no sympathy. Like Cole said, she said he was great but he broke her. She made no sense and every one in the reunion supporting her was disgusting. They crucified him without even talking to him. She was disgusting at the wedding yet expected him to reach out after that speech! Cole did not deserve all these.
@@jennaharris6053 She flat out told him repeatedly that she 1000 percent wanted to marry him. Then "she would let him know"! Then 100 percent. Then if he was good! All in the same conversation. No wonder he's confused.
Zanab, lost her mother at 8 (this happened to a people that I know) and has had an amazing stepmother. Although her mother will never be replaced, she has had ample time to cope with this fact. She did not acknowledge her stepmother’s presence not once. Because she wanted everyone’s empath/sympathy instead. The stepmom feels sooo sorry for her, even transmitted the same feelings to COLE. You can see how cole took it upon him to make this woman feel happy, he failed. Not because he didn’t try. But because she is stuck in her please feel sorry for me narrative. She’s a bit of a sadistic human, And vindictive at the same time. I suffered a loss myself not tht long ago. But I had found the help necessary to understand that life is not forever.
she lost her dad at 13 and her mom at 18. But I agree mostly with what you said. I think it would have been nice if she acknowledged her step mothers presence and maybe she did but it wasn't shown. But Im not sure if I want to give her the benefit of the doubt after seeing how calculated she is lol.
@@suras8984 calculated- yes! Even the wedding. Her physical posturing when the pastor brought up those not there, her dramatic look to the empty seats, then her over dramatic speech playing the victim and making Cole a villain in front of their friends and family and getting the cheers she wanted- I was like- okay, I see you Zenab. But honestly it took me till then to realize she was playing a part.
Yes she completely disregarded the step mom that basically raised her cuz boo hoo my parents died 10 years ago. Like GIRL you’re not the only one with dead parents but you have to stop being so rude to those around you who actually care. I just hope any guy that dates her sees this show and never wants to marry her until she’s gotten EXTENSIVE therapy, because how much you wanna bet that she hasn’t even started 😩
Cole had his life force completely swallowed up through this experience. He will undoubtedly need therapy. While she was sitting on that reunion stage refreshed, glamorous and empowered, he was broken and anxious. I do think however that Cole probably went his whole life getting away with annoying and immature behaviors. I didn’t like how he was unable to accept any form of criticism without calling her mean. It was childish. But that cutie scene spoke volumes. She was there to set him up and have a Deepti moment.
Her and that cutie situation was a major reach she’s completely wrong. i honestly think she made up the story about the girls # too. And him calling her mean was kind of valid. she had a nasty attitude the whole season especially with him
Also very interesting you pointing out how Cole might’ve been just attracted to Colleen’s personality the whole time and not realizing, because the whole show I was flabbergasted that he thought Colleen was physically more attractive, so your theory gives me closure 😂
IM SO THANKFUL YOU SAID THIS !!!! Me and my husband were like that’s honestly what she was referring to ?! Now I feel like she has been manipulating Cole this entire time .
This is what I’ve been saying since they met in Malibu 😩😩😩 we gotta stop tolerating these, antisocial, emotionally abusive behaviors and stop blowing them off because we feel like Zanab is justified in one moment but not the other. The behavior itself was never okay. You did an excellent job with this video 👏
I agree. Her prayer & speech at the wedding was premeditated. She wanted a moment and got it. I don't think anymore thinks Cole is 100% innocent. He's immature, but he did not deserve what Zanab did to him. They need to do a psychological test for contestants on these shows.
Considering all the issues anyone, therapist/psychologist or not, can see from a mile away in almost all of the featured couples, I have a feeling they already do have them mentally evaluated beforehand and exploit their findings.
Zanab DOES NOT LOVE HERSELF! People cannot accept love from others when they don't feel it about themselves. She constantly belittled herself, her appearance, compared herself to Colleen. It is not Cole. Any man she is with will not work because she is actively looking for the negative.
I knew it. I said in a live chat that she was to insecure and way to passive aggressive. No way she was Innocent. The little game she played at the very beginning on the trip and constantly putting Cole down. I knew he just didn't know better with the way he speaks. She's evil!
I was actually watching Dr. Honda do a review of their interactions and he said he doesn't think she's passive aggressive. He said she is actually openly hostile towards him she just does it in a measured voice, she doesn't yell. 🤯
Whether you liked Cole or not, I at least commend him for trying to be honest with her. Like she was so passive aggressive and I felt like he was trying to be direct from the beginning. Feel bad for the dude and I hope Zanab can work on herself and heal from whatever is going on.
Omg I’m so glad you addressed this! She really pissed me off with her passive aggressive bullshit & I really didn’t think the cuties scene wasn’t that bad I feel like she really twisted that.
@@AnaAcuraErica same! The very first one where she didn't want to get her hair wet. She seemed like a mega wet blanket and then the meanness started seeping through.
I think Cole was immature but now seeing the “orange-gate”, I think a lot of what he said (that seemed rude or immature) was in response to something she said, and he honestly didn’t know how to respond. She def cut him down. He was crying and pleading to show the tapes, show the full conversations. No reason for him to beg for that unless there’s truth in it!!
When she kept saying she forgave him while he was crying… She was trying to confuse him and make him feel grateful that she would accept his apologies. Also trying to make herself appear like the bigger person.
Thank God Zanab said "No" because poor Cole would of lived in a miserable marriage. Cole you deserve better. Praying for Cole. Zanab you need help and lots of prayer. Also I agree the entire cast should apologize to Cole.
Great analysis. Zanab orchestrated every conflict in their relationship. Yes, Cole shouldn't have been so brutally honest about his "typical type", but she was the one that wanted to be rated vs. the other girls. She was the one who remarked about trying to "fatten him up" and then set it up to make it look like he was weight shaming her. She flat out lied about the Cuties story. She seems to have lied about the bachelor party story, and Cole confirmed that they had talked about not getting married prior to the wedding day (so yes, she planned her little speech). The producers couldn't capture a single interaction between the two of them, where she didn't criticize him or make a negative comment about where they were or what they were doing. She is a deeply troubled person that needs a therapist and should never have been allowed to be on the show.
Yes you are so right! Zanab constantly projects her insecurities, mis-interprets what people say, plays a victim, behaves passive aggressively, makes overly-dramatic statements, does not take responsibility for her own short-comings, and acts externally like princess perfect…. I think the other thing she does is spreads stories to rally support & turn people against Cole (eg all the girls had heard Zanab’s version of the tangerine story (even though it never went to air prior), which was completely Zanab projecting her insecurities against an innocent comment). If anybody’s self confidence is destroyed by this process it’s Cole’s not Zanab’s!
She is a covert narcissist. I know, I've lived with a mother who did this to my dad. Cringe worthy, and then to get her flying monkeys to support her without really knowing what happened. Narcissists use other people like this all the time to get what they want, and a covert narc is always the victim, never apologizes, and won't address their own issues.
is it just me after seeing how things played out, that would have lowkey loved to see Cole and Colleen together because they would have brought each others positive energies out and they were probably more compatible if only they got to know each other a bit longer
She really played us! She did give me a Debby Downer vibe, but I really thought he was the bad guy. I’m so glad they played that Cutie scene. I wondered why the guys didn’t clarify the bachelor party situation when she was attacking him. The other ladies really owe him an apology. He did fall out of love and gravitated towards Coleens before Matt energy. Because now, she seems miserable.
I went back and looked at their scenes as well & what I got from them is that Cole is super immature, but he was more mature in communicating when there is a problem. You start to see how Zenab’s perception of everything is skewed . For ex: the good vs . great scene. The difference between them is I don’t think cole is intentionally being malicious, but Zenab seems like her actions are intentionally calculating. Like she knows what to say to insult him, and then pretend like what she said was not hurtful. I think Cole’s actions come from his age, and Zenab’s actions come from moreso trauma. So it’s like she’s trying to stay steps ahead of him and she kind of puts herself in situations where he can confirm her fears. So then she justifies her complaining and nagging , placing everything on him. And her lack of emotion was also concerning
Right, they both said hurtful things but Zanab was the only one that seemed to have malicious intent. I can’t even blame her friends for that standing ovation, who knows what she told those girls.
I honestly don't know about Cole being super immature. I don't think he's all that immature, sure he has a couple of things to work on but it's not nearly as bad as Zanab. And I think he IS ready for a serious relationship while Zanab is not.
FINALLY!!! Someone said it!! I was watching and I noticed that she was always rude, always with an attitude, I even though in the after dancing lessons scene “He’s is truly in love and she is being so cold” Zanab was hardly sweet or affectionate to him, he was more into her than her, even though he said some horrid things, she was worst because she was always putting him down.
I still am not fond of Cole's personality, but I will definitely admit that Zanab was manipulative and her insecurities caused her perspective of things that were happening to be skewed and exaggerated. Honestly, Colleen probably WOULD have been better for him. She acts like a disappointed mother and not a woman who loves him. He acted like a kid who was trying to get approval, but she constantly shut him down.
Omg!!!! I just watched the reunion and the ending😳😳 her selective memory when she’s story telling- I’m shocked! And his reaction seemed very genuine, sorry Cole, I too was wrong about you.
I have just watched The Renunion and I am gobsmacked, word Sociopath comes to mind. She twisted words and manipulated everyone and broke Cole. For no other reasons than what a sociopath does best and that is get the thrill of watching someone else suffer. Everyone is the cast best open their eyes or they could be on her target list, best thing to do in this situation is to walk away and not engage with someone like that. But I am so glad that the truth has come out and the chameleon has now been revealed.
Honestly it’s a blessing in disguise that she said no - She was really off from day one. He was definitely not perfect but she was all wrong from the beginning and I’m glad they are not together. Cole does not deserve a lifetime of her. I know he was gutted and I cried along with him but I know he will heal and find someone right for him in the future
My hair falls out like crazy, I collect it in toilet paper and I throw it out. I'd never dream of putting it in the toilet and I'd certainly never leave it for the next person to flush. That's when I knew Zanab was off.
I wouldn’t even throw hair in the toilet because hair floats, so it’ll be significantly harder to make sure all of the pieces flush down the toilet. That’s literally the stupidest thing I’ve heard.
@@bookbag6432 My friend does this and when I visit her house it drives me insane. I literally clean all her hair off the floor of her bathroom throw in the garbage and then flush the toilet from all the hair she leaves in it before I pee. It is ocd distressing for me lol.
@@leslier7350 Well obviously there is much worse behaviour on the show than anyones level of cleanliness. Your comparison goes beyond comparing apples to oranges and more along the lines of comparing apples to the constellation. These are different categories unrelated to one another. There is no comparison.
It’s refreshing that other people see what I have throughout this whole thing. I relate to Cole personality wise and she was just this insecure, nitpicky, rude, rigid, boring, complaining wet blanket the whole time. I hate the whole gender aspect that always comes with this, like the way so many women side with the chick no matter how much they suck. They even have brought race into this to make it seem like Cole was racist since he felt more attracted to Colleen. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Colleen also was more fun and didn’t care about her hair getting wet and all that nonsense. I feel so bad for young and/or naive people who get sucked into these toxic shows and then the Internet chooses them as a scapegoat and turns them into these cartoon villains. Anyway, glad to listen to a woman who doesn’t fall for the fake feminist propaganda.
You’re so right! I rewatched this season of Love is Blind and yes, he was bad. I thought that it was just him at first. However, SHE was not the greatest to him too! It was toxic for both of them. The way she did him at the altar was really terrible and everyone ran to her defense in the Reunion. I like your input on things. No one seems to call HER out on the show/after show except for him.
Phycology major here, abuse victims are more likely to stay the longer they’ve been in the relationship from a physiological stand point. That being said not all cases are the same. From watching the show cole seemed to be the victim of abuse.
I think that zanab took the “cutie” comment completely out of context… I think he meant not to eat too much before dinner so she wouldnt get full, not questioning her for other reasons…She possibly took the salad comment incorrectly as well, based off her own insecurities!?
I think she's so insecure she takes everything as a personal insult. I took it as save your appetite we are going to have large meal later AND he mentioned he offered her a poke bowl and she didn't want jt because they had it the night before. So i was confused when she explained it before and completely flipped the story to make him out to be abusive.
Zanab reminds me of a friend that I had who was extremely manipulative and narcissistic. It seems like zanab is trying to perceive herself as so mature and clean in front of the cameras.
I figured Zenab out at the same time you did. It was very clear from that conversation she would not take responsibility. It became a clear pattern moving forward. The only thing I was surprised by was the way she read him at the wedding. I thought he would go first and say no.
Thank you for this video!! It really made me sick to my stomach to see how she did Cole. Now they both brought out the worst in each other they very obviously were not a good fit. But Cole was Cole-his personality is goofy and fun and she hated that from the beginning and by the end snuffed it out in him. She very obviously let her own insecurities get to her and because she was thinking things assumed Cole was too. That orange scene is so sad he’s all excited to meet her family and travel with her and even that she’s talking to him like he’s dumb saying all her family isn’t in the same area or whatever…like she is just miserable and took him down with her. I really hope everyone that attacked him feels bad and that he can find someone who embraces his personality.
This is the first time I've ever searched for something after watching a show. But her lies pissed me off, here I am. 🤣 & I'm thankful everyone feels like I do. I believe Cole. & And am disgusted at what this woman has accused Cole of on national television. Unexcusable!
Omgggg thank you ! I don’t understand how people were still defending her after the reunion ! She’s beyond insecure and projected that onto everything Cole said and did
Yes she was gaslighting him the whole time. He was put out to be a villain when he is just an immature person but he didn't do all those things like she said. Especially with that "cuite" story.
Deepti cast a long shadow on this season. The reunion confirmed it beyond all doubt. Zanab saw her success as a victim and wanted it for herself. Once the cracks appeared with Cole, she decided to exploit it rather than try to fix things (like Cole did) Cole dodged a bullet. Can you imagine coming home to Zanab after a long day at work? You just want a kind and supportive wife. Not her.
According to Zanab's IG post their weddings was a week apart so she had no clue about Deepti's experience. Butttt my question is this, wasnt the reunions months apart. Wouldn't Zanab have time to rehearse for her reunion?!
Nobody gonna talk about how she put dollar bills in the strippers underwear knowing, and even going as far as to say (OUT LOUD) that Cole didn’t want you to do that, but then did it anyway… Cole may have said what he said about Colleen, but she straight up disrespected his wishes and touched all up on that stripper that night. So 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I watched the cuties scene and Cole was genuinely interested in traveling to meet Zanabs family wherever they were. In England or the Middle East or wherever. He was excitedly telling her that he was interested in knowing more about her and SHE TOLD HIM that SHE DOESNT LISTEN TO HIM and that he talks a lot of cole! WTF?? And then he’s genuinely concerned when she tells him that she only ate a banana and asks her why? And then reminds her that he had offered her a poke bowl…. Zanab has issues that she’s fighting. She’s unhappy and she directs all of her anger at Cole and even blames him for everything that she hates about herself. And the worst part is that she turns the whole cast against him with her lies. She is also always right and he is always wrong. She doesn’t care about destroying him. And I was tearing up as I saw Cole cry who was really confused with all of her accusations.
Thank you for making this video. I thought I was crazy maybe, being the only one noticing this stuff during the season. Also, I firmly believe Cole wasn't asking her if she was Bi-Polar as a joke or insult, I think he asked out of real concern, and just couldn't find a better time to address it and just had to. I'm SURE her behavior (what we saw and didn't) added up to something seriously being WRONG and he really did care for her.
I thought the nurf gun was funny someone more compatible would of thought the same thing. People love in different ways, serious, playfully, structurally, mentally in this case opposite attract for growth and so they both can see their blindsides and become better. Unfortunately I think Zanab might be to embedded in her toxic trauma.
Calling him out on their wedding day was 100% inappropriate...she gave him 0 chance to defend himself. She knew exactly what she was doing. Cole is immature and yes he has issues himself...not making excuses for him. She complained....and complained....and complained the whole time. This girl has issues and is going to have a hard time finding anyone wanting to be with her if she doesn't learn to stop picking people apart and quit acting like she is the innocent one. No respect for her on what she did to him.
I knew she was lying when it flew out of her mouth. I felt like her speech at the wedding came out of nowhere and she had been plotting that speech since the incident with Colleen happened as revenge. Her friends were aware that's why they clapped and walked out. She got those girls riled up for an attack an it was unfair. I feel that if those things had happened as she said they certainly would have aired because at the end of the day the producers job is to create a product that will get people talking and engaged in the show. They love controversial elements. Hence the seen with Andrew adding eye drops for dramatic effect. She just wasn't counting on them airing the actual seen. She wants to hurt this kid and she continues to do so. No he isn't perfect he did things as well but she was awful. She knew his age when she said yes so to then act superior because she is older is ridiculous as well. She humiliated him at the alter and then doubled down at the reunion and I just hope that he can heal and move on and that she can learn to take some accountability. She projected her insecure thoughts and emotions onto him and that wasn't right at all.
Baby that was crazy the way she was holding all that anger in and humiliated cole infront of everyone she been had that planned from the first argument
Also when cole asked if she was bipolar she smiled like something just made sense in her soul then she tried to act mad to make it into a story for everyone else
Yes, I caught that too. Narcs hate when you see through the delicate facade they created. She probably punished him more because of it. Hopefully, Cole is seeing all these claims of NPD and read and understand what just happened to him. Only those who have experienced it can understand.
I think the smirk was hmm I will be able to add this to the list. Everyone uses him calling her bipolar as an example of being awful to her. But when you’re genuinely trying to figure out why they are saying they love but constantly belittling you with contempt, you start to wonder what’s causing this. But people just labeled it stigmatizing.
She didn’t play me I swear! I saw what she was doing sensé the first day of their honeymoon. I told everyone nobody believed me. I have had people like her in my life.
I was very surprised to see I was the only one who could see Zanab as a manipulative narcissist from the get-go. But I kinda understand, these people really know how to fool most people and drag ANYONE who they view as an enemy. An enemy to a narcissist is anyone who dares to show them they are not perfect. To me it was all very obvious (because I have narcissistic people in my family), but to other people they may only seem as a bit insecure or a complicated person. She is a covert narcissist and dragging her down will do nothing but make her even more malicious.
I actually noticed these things too earlier on, it’s subtle but if you pay attention it’s noticeable. She was like someone who was emotionally abusive to me and did the things they did especially towards the end so I spotted it despite the shows attention to coles faults and the editing. For me when I say narcissist I don’t mean oh abuser and evil, narcissism is just a disorder and doesn’t necessarily have to mean that, I just mean that objectively. I think she likely has ptsd and deep insecurities. Her view is very distorted and that is why I think she must have something in the cluster b bc they all have distortions and black and white thinking. What makes me theorize she might be a covert narcissist or a larger sign was her reaction to coles 9/10 when she essentially said I’m a gorgeous queen and your lucky to be with me, she didn’t say that specifically. But most people would not respond that way, I’m not saying she didn’t have a right to be offended or that cole was in the right there he wasn’t it was pretty stupid to say. It’s just more that when her insecurities where touched on her first reaction to that feeling was defense and needing to say what she doesn’t actually feel about herself. It felt misplaced almost.
Thank you for the PSA! We needed a in depth video of why Zanab is toxic. Her insecurities got the best of her and she was projecting onto him her misery.
Cuties scene ..He was also so excited to go out for a big meal with her. She was so focused on being miserable that she couldn’t care less what he was saying.
I’m so glad you brought up this topic because I can’t get over how toxic Zanab was. The way Cole handled the Coleen situation wasn’t the right way, however I think a part of him sensed that she would’ve been a better match for him. Cole is naturally playful and goofy. Zanab is entitled, calculated, judgmental, hateful and extremely insecure. It really seemed like he was trying but she was just shutting him out and projecting all of her insecurities. On top of all that, the way she manipulated then humiliated him at the altar made me sick to my stomach. It was immature. When he asked if she had bipolar, I asked myself the same thing because of how delusional she was. The finale only proved how terrible of a person she is. After seeing the scene in the kitchen, she completely lied about Cole. That was it for me. She’s extremely manipulative and toxic and I hope Cole recovers from everything she put him through.
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Cole was so happy and bubbly and by the end he looked like he aged 10 years, awful what she did to him. That's what toxicity does to someone
The girls said something similar about Zanab - that by the end, Zanab became a shell of the person she started as. It seems it was toxic to both of them
@@raddish5570 Zenab was a manipulator. She just let her ugly show, he was hurt.
Team Cole all the way. The fact she gets off on crushing him and making him look bad. I'm so glad everyone found out how horrible she is.
She is a typical narcissist with a very fragile ego and twisting reality is one of the sure signs she is waaay down on the narcissistic spectrum. NPD is not treatable.
THIS 💯👏👏👏
Also, Colleen would tell everyone that Cole said she was “shallow”, when he never said that, SHE called herself SHALLOW, then preceded to tell everyone that Cole was the one who said that. These girls project their insecurities and create false narratives.
For real.. Idk how she expected someone who’s never seen her to propose to her after she admitted to them that she cannot/is not willing to have deep conversations 😅
Colleen really did that. And people are giving Cole shit for it. Like he was such an easy target. That says soo much about his innocense. But people like Matt, Zanab and Bartisse are good?
I remember that, I was shocked how she just made up sh*t completely. Cole just wanted to be able to have deep conversations with her and she said she couldn't do it... My mouth dropped when she went back to the room with the other girls and she was crying, and she just blatantly lied about what he said.
Yessssssss I remember this!!!! She made it up in her head!!!!!
100%
I was touched at how Cole's friends surrounded him to comfort him at the wedding.
When they said “you are surrounded by people who know who you are” i teared up
@@LeesaLilHop I def teared up when his friends surrounded him like that. It was so beautiful.
Did you noticed a couple of his friends smirking after she did her shpell? One also said under his breath...:"he deserved that" and "their on the same page".
@@SunShine-lq7yt I just rewatched that part of their wedding and saw that Her friends smirked none of his friends did. His friend said I thought they were on the same page. When his friends came to hug him one of his friends said to him "you didnt deserve that".
@@SunShine-lq7yt it's funny how people pick their narratives. That defs didn't happen
She manipulated everyone and I believe the entire cast should apologize to Cole for the way they treated him during the reunion. He did not deserve all that hate. Yes, he was immature and did and said some things that were questionable, but the entire show all she did was belittle him. That kitchen scene definitely was an eye opener for me as far as seeing the kind of person Zanab is. I think she already knew she was going to humiliate him at the wedding and was just going along with the show to further hurt him.
Yeah! I agree. She's saying oh imagine what he said off camera. WHAT DID YOU SAY OFF CAMERA ?!?! 🤣 ugh. I'm so conflicted. I feel bad for her and I am annoyed at her lack of self awareness
ABSOLUTELY!!! She gets off on humiliating him and it's gross!
@@Rasheedaxo You know the sad thing is I do understand why she has a victim mentally, but it’s like.. At some point, she has to take responsibility for her actions. She isn’t the only person who’s ever lost her parents, or endured pain in her life. Not everyone goes around hurting others for the fun of it. That type of behavior is extremely dangerous because she will tear down those around her without any remorse.
@@Metztli0 agreed. Things can happen to us but it's our choice on how we heal and grow from it. Excellent takeaway 👌
Agree 100%. I was shocked that everyone was defending her.
Something else you forgot to mention is how Cole reacted when they tried to make Zanab look bad at the reunion, with all the nagging clips. He actually stood up for her and played it down. It would have been a perfect opportunity to get back at her but he didn't, instead teying to protect her. Which in my opinion, further shows that deep down he has a good heart.
I watched the reunion and I hated how the whole cast ganged up on him. It didn't feel completely earned to me.
Same. Meanwhile Matt got to skate by????
@@GraceReport It seems like every season you have only one villain. I guess it had to be Cole.
They know/heard/saw way more than the viewers of an edited show.
I honestly want to know how the girls feel after they see that scene like I’ve had a friend like this before. I would be on her side until I started to recognize how she was negative towards everything and eventually even me.
I definitely didn't agree with how they ganged up on him especially Alexa she need mind her business she just kept coming for him like girl worry about your man!
I saw who she really was the minute she came out of the pods and started to be her true self. The major passive aggressive action was the day of the wedding, when she prayed for him and then proceeded to literally destroy his character in front of his friends. That was total EVIL….
Yes , very hot and cold like 2 different people?.
And even before coming out of the pods
From the get go I didn’t like her, she just seemed to fake to me, (also I find her voice very annoying) and then as soon as they interacted outside of the pods she was bitchy to Cole, and I’m like what the heck bro?
@@beajack4990 I totally agree with your comment. Just a shame Cole didnt get ALL the red flags. Zanab was just the worst match for him! I think Cole has some emotional imbalance like ADHD or maybe even bipolar without knowing it.
@@beajack4990 same
She certainly did not fool me 😂 When I saw her make a big deal out of whether he said good versus great. My alarm 🚨 went off and knew she would be a lot!!
Yes right from the very beginning 😂 I caught that too and yelled at the tv Cole run!
Right!! Every tiny stab I noticed 😞
This this this!
Yep. When she was ironing her clothes and ignoring him.
Exactly. I didn't believe her.
I find it weird that Zanab had all those things to say about Cole but then tells him she loves him and would do it all over again, but he killed her self esteem, BUT he’s a good man, and she could have dragged him. It’s giving narcissist and gaslighter
When on a deeper NPD spectrum, ability to perceive info and integrate it logically gets lost. If the person doesn't make sense to you, it's one of the red flags that they most likely having a personality disorder
Zanab was a toxic narcissist. He dodged a bullet.
Zanab is literally a psycho. After I watched the cuties thing, I couldn't figure out what he said that was wrong. I had to re-watch it because I thought I missed something. I feel so bad for Cole.
Me too! I kept wondering did I miss something? I’m glad he asked for that scene to be played. The entire cast needs to apologize to him.
Omg yesss. I watched that and was waiting forever to hear where he said something wrong.
So disappointing
He literally asked her in the scene why she wasn’t eating.
Not only did he ask her why she wasn't eating, but also mentioned that he offered her a poke bowl that day which she had turned down. Which show the opposite narrative of what Zaneb is trying to get us to believe. Feel so sorry for this guy, definitely got hit a lot harder than he deserved, that woman is a nut job
She gives me the unpopular girl in high school that saw an opportunity to date a popular guy later in life. She wanted to destroy him for her own purposes.
In the pods, Zanab seemed like she was fun and adventurous and told Cole they will fly out to different countries and try new experiences together. During their trip to Malibu, she made a 180 and complained about everything from not getting into the pool or getting her hair and makeup wet. She did not sound like that fun and adventurous person anymore afterwards.
I didn’t connect it before but you’re completely right. In the pods I already disliked her because of the tone she has while speaking, as she was smelling something bad. Anyway, in the pods she made Cole believe that she was playful and loved travelling. I’m sorry but what is the sens in going on holidays if you don’t even go into the sea or the pool? I mean, is he allowed to have fun at all?
I noticed this too. I love adventure and novelty, and if someone bait and switched me like this, I would be livid. Maybe that's why I actually liked Andrew at the beginning lmao. Yes take me on safari 🤣
I knew she was lying because Cole was so devastated by her statements . This woman sabotages !!
I realized this after the series. As women, we want to believe women we want to stand up for women. Understandably so. HOWEVER, we need to acknowledge women can play a part in toxic relationships. Do you think this guy is not unscathed either ? Omgggggg I have so much to say about this !
I feel that this guy was very misunderstood . Our world can be so unempathetic to both sides. Imagine - imagine being called horrible things like a narcissist because you act like your 12. Acting immature yes can be hurtful or annoying but not to the cost of the world hating you.
Absolutely!!! I was so team Zay until I re-watched. She is awful.
She Amber hearded cole
We need to believe men
I also was on her side all through the show. She did seemed very cold, well her true floors came out at the end.
I did not like Zanab from the beginning, she came across as rude. And she made excuses for her rude behavior. Cole had issues too. I'm glad they did not get married.
Yup! She had an excuse for EVERYTHING. That condescending 'apology' she posted on Instagram was disgusting!
@@GraceReport I agree!
Yeah I think everyone is aware Cole isn’t perfect and has a lot of room to grow. But Z is just cruel.
@@samanthicks Right! Cole looked genuinely shocked by her accusations. I felt bad for him.
Agree there was something about her that I didn't like... also when he asked if she was bipolar I immediately was like wait maybe thats what has been off with her... not saying that she is at all but im with Cole whats causing you to act the way you do yet Cole is a bad guy but wait she also said he is a great guy... which is it?.
Zanab checked out immediately after Cole said she's a 9/10 but Colleen and Raven are 10/10. In the pods she was telling Cole that she loves to travel and will take him around the world, but when Cole brought up visiting her family in England, she couldn't even pretend to care because she knew she's going to say no at the altar. Cole dodged a bullet with Zanab though, bet he won't be out looking for someone who's deep and serious anymore haha
OMG you are sooo right, she did say they would travel the world. She knew what she was doing, that's why she had already told her friends of the "shitty" things he had done and they applauded after she DESTROYED him at the altar. What a liar. I cant.
I agree. She shut down immediately after the 9 comment. Probably started writing her phony prayer and dumping speech that very night
@@reyesy25 I mean Cole said a lot of dumb things because he's immature, but a lot of times Zanab pushed him to react negatively because she was constantly picking on him and criticizing every little thing he does. So what if the chicken is white and he's clueless about cooking and seasoning the food, it was her who asked him to cook for her so don't go expecting him to cook up a Michelin star meal, poor guy was trying so hard to make her happy.
You are so right and I noticed it too. She was very evasive when he was so sweet talking about visiting her family. She was skirting the issue, then insulted him with the “ you speak Cole” comment.
He should have said you’re a 10 but your personality makes you a literal 0.
Even on their wedding day after Zanab got on the dais with Cole, he kept complimenting how stunning she looked and then stroked her arm affectionately. She looked to check if something was wrong with her arm and in the next shot had it covered with her veil. Probably thinks that Cole gestured for her to cover herself because her arm is too fat or something.
Her inner narrative is painful and she puts that pain on Cole
Yes! I noticed that too and thought the same. She is hypersensitive about her appearance from before him.
Omg really? Now I want to rewatch that scene!
Wow spot on!
That part was despicable because she was all smiles and pumping Cole up to be excited just to crush him in the cruelest fashion. By the way, I didn't appreciate the montage where Cole was expecting her at the altar all doom and gloom when in reality that happened AFTER Zanep did her number.
The way she presented the cuties seen was wild. She made it seem like he knew she had nothing to eat all day when he was shocked to hear all she had was a banana. In addition to him having offered the poke bowl
Like what the EFF??
He was also so excited to go out for a big meal with her. She was so focused on being miserable that she couldn’t care less what he was saying.
There was a reviewer who did explain the scene a bit better in that, they both could have taken the situation the wrong way. Like they both don’t know how to talk to one another
@@BabyGirlTiny In this case we can see time after time it was Zanab the entire season. I noticed this from the first few episodes. She repeatedly lied on camera and she is toxic and abusive to Cole. That is more than just a communication misunderstanding.
She literally said she doesn’t listen to him. She is a classic case of projection. She accused him of everything SHE did to HIM. Belittled, criticized, was passive-aggressive, withholding, etc….
I literally cried at the end of the reunion when Cole was crying. To me he seemed genuine in his apology there, you could see that he really felt bad about the thought that he made her feel that way. It was clear from the beginning she already didn't have self confidence so in my opinion, there was nothing he could do to make her feel worse about herself than she already did. I was so glad when they actually played the footage from the tangerine scene becuase you could tell he was actually concerned wondering why she wasn't eating... then instead of using that moment to tell him how she was feeling she made a passive aggressive comment and waited until the alter to cause him embarrassment. He was immature I will say that but so was she and I really don't believe he is as bad as Zae is making him out to be.
I agree with all this. His crying made me cry. He really wanted to marry her. But thank God they didn't.
Yup and hated how everyone gave him more heat than Bart. Cole was apologetic and sincere Bart could care less had had lame excuses for everything
Zanab only ate a banana with peanut butter for that entire day b/c she rejected Cole’s offer to buy her poke bowl (since they ate that the previous night). I think at that point, Cole should’ve responded with “Okay, then what else would you prefer to eat?”. Instead, he joked that she was trying to loose weight for her wedding dress (probably as an attempt to lighten the mood). But even if that was the case, he should’ve told her that he doesn’t want her to compromise her health b/c her body is beautiful the way that it is 💗. And at the very least, he should’ve let her eat her tangerines 🍊 in peace without implying that she needs to “save her appetite”. lol! Don’t get me wrong, there are times when Cole intentionally negged Zanab. But in certain circumstances like these, he might’ve been genuinely clueless about reading & responding to Zanab’s emotions 😅
@@linann96 I do think he was clueless. They really had just met each other and he seems genuinely confused when she said that was all she had eaten. In this situation I did not get the impression he was at all concerned about her weight but was only asking because they had a dinner reservation... but I do agree he should have just let her eat without asking. She's a grown woman and if she had been spoiling her dinner she should be allowed lol.
@@linann96 When I watch the video, the saving the appetite comment was made because he was excited about the dinner. He was implying that it was going to be a lot of food and he wanted her to enjoy everything in the meal. It sounded like he was excited to eat a big meal with his fiance and wanted her to enjoy the entire full course. I think she may suffer from body image issues. He also asked her why she only ate a banana and peanut butter. He seemed concerned.
I noticed Zanib's toxicity as soon as they left thr pods. Her getting mad when Cole said they had a good night instead of a great night and even the comments about Colleen. She egged that out of Cole. She asked him to rate her and he gave her a 9/10 and instead of taking the compliment she continues to dig and get Cole to say he thought Colleen was hotter. Zanib thinks she's perfect and knows it all. She seems the type that will run a man away with her nagging
I caught that right away too. I didn’t like her from the get go
I mean he was not delicate at all. That can really hurt. But if she didn't like it she needed to leave!! Especially if he was as bad as she said...
@@io100x100 but that is the kind of question you don't ask if you can't handle honesty
@@cheesehead91182 Exactly. What's more, you don't even know this person. If you know your worth and value as she has stated, how can she be so crushed and hurt by someone she's known a few days? Makes no sense to me.
@@cheesehead91182 agreeed. if you know that you cant handle it, why ask ????
She actually said a prayer before doing Cole dirty. She did him a favor by saying no and I’m so glad that he did not try to reach out to Zanab because she’s horrible!
She took him for a complete whirlwind! This was so abusive!
@@alismoran777 yes, very!
Omg she did do that! That’s so creepy that she would pray and then give such a hateful speech my goodness
How can you pray and then lambaste the person you say you love, in front of the altar.
Case in point where Christians think they are good people just because they are Christian. That was soooo cringe
One thing that Cole mentioned was that when they were in the pods and he was picturing him and Zanab having their conversations, he pictured her making remarks jokingly with a smile on his face. Once they started their little honeymoon period, he said he realized that she was very serious about everything. That may be what caused that disassociation from the person in the pods to the person she was in real life.
Agreed. I also think that if she would have been more pleasant from the beginning, he would have been more attracted to her initially.
Ooh definitely great observation
@@vickietriplett6613 right and the fact that Colleen actually have that playful personality he was looking for didnt help.
@@noracharef6901 No it didn't. And she was not playful in any way, at the pool, during the games outside. She was just a buzzkill.
I noticed the same thing and felt that insecure Zanab was intentionally changing her behaviour in the pods. She sensed what Cole was about and modified her behaviour so much that the person she was in the pod became a lie. I think most people do these sort of things in a lot smaller scale when they meet someone interesting. e.g. taking on the same interest as your crush.
Watching cole cry at the reunion was so hard to watch, I cant believe they let that happen. I do not want to see more seasons honestly. And you are 100% right, zanab only listens to fight back! Cole's eyes were so sad and tired in a lot of their scenes toward the end
The fact that he always wanted to pray with her and she prays with him before reading him to filth! That was so gross
So many of my friends that watched the show agree with you about Zanab! It’s obvious she is a narcissist or has narcissistic traits with the gaslighting, not taking any accountability, arrogance and needs admiration. Cole was definitely immature and should watch what he says at times but he was not cruel or overly critical. And what is even more surprising is the other women on the show completely support her and laugh at the way she treated Cole. Just very strange to us………….
I started the season hating Cole and now feel so bad for him! Now I think the hurtful things he said were out of immaturity and a lack of awareness of how he came off. The hurtful things Zanab said were out of pure malice. Cole really seemed broken and reflective at the reunion. I got the impression he’s learned and can grow. Zanab? Not so much. (Insert gif of Tyra screaming, “We were all rooting for you!”).
I told my husband after a few episodes that I was really starting to like Cole and he was surprised but then grew to like him too. I am silly and playful and random in the same way he is. I still cringed at some of the stuff he said, but gradually I noticed that those things that made me go "ooof, he shouldn't have said that" always came after zanab had poked and picked and tormented him. He had his uncomfortable moments, but he really was trying and he looked at her with so much affection and love. She never seemed to look at him that way.
Yes, "pool gate" wasn't pleasant. But it was, what? Their second day of actually meeting each other. The pods were still so fresh in their minds and it was before his feelings realllly developed for zanab
As a devoted Christian the whole praying right before berating him on the altar really left a bad taste in my mouth
I like to watch shows like these with my kids (they particularly don't enjoy them), I make them watch these shows for educational purposes; so they learn about red flags and other behavioral & relationship things. The first red flag we saw was their fight when Cole used "so good, so so good" to describe their night and she used "great", but she decided to make a full on argument/ fight over it. Also, her lack of communication towards him was alright, but his lack of communication towards her was not. I also caught him saying that she punched him in the face, and she said that she didn't, and he replied "it sure felt like it" or something along those lines; but right after she gave the weirdest looking face that was so off to me.
💯% agree!
I knew from the moment she accused him of giving her the silent treatment that Zanab was going to be extremely problematic. I actually started thinking it when she used her story about losing her parents early on in life as a way to connect emotionally with Cole. It triggered me because I was married to someone just like her and once you see their tricks, you can't unsee them.
Yea the bring up a sad story first to try and make u emotionally connected.I notice a lot of guys do this too.
Because soon after they will not be a good person and they use their trauma stories to soften the blow or make people feel bad for them ? ( I’m asking not arguing , because that’s how I personally have witnessed some people .. )
@@TwiVideos yep they use their trauma story to make you feel sorry for them, as an excuse for bad behavior, as a way to make you feel protective of them, a way to engage your nurturing side. It works for a lot of things. When anyone starts telling me a sob story soon after I've met them, I know they are trying to manipulate me. I think healthy people save those stories for people they know well and trust.
Right! Just because you have trauma doesn’t mean you can be a b*tch 🙄 it makes people that have trauma or girls that have ACTUALLY been abused seem like they’re trying to victimize themselves due to people like her representing them
Yesss! I was looking for a comment like this! I knew she was off when she said Cole "switched on her" after they woke up. She basically did everything she accused him of. I, too, experienced people like her in my life. It's true, their tactics are almost identical across the board. It's weirdly fascinating - not that hurting people is fascinating, but the fact that these people operate so dysfunctionally. They all have this hollow coldness to them once their masks come off.
Zanab had me fooled too initially but gradually you could see it. She even admitted that she didn't listen to him when he spoke to her. But she methodically beat him down and told us it was the other way around. She deliberately picked a young immature guy because he would tolerate it better. She's evil and I say that sadly as she was my favorite
Absolutely! I can't believe I didn't remember Cole confiding in the guys about feeling beaten down so early on! If that was him after 2 days, I can't imagine how much he dealt with in 7 weeks.
Agreed. It was emotional abuse. She was draining him of positivity. I hope she will get better and get a good therapist. If she would be doing this to some 42 yo man, he would got rid of her quickly. She used Cole's youth, naivetee, immaturity to twilight him, manipulate him and even confuse him that at the reunion poor guy actually thought his a monster. While she and the other candidates were getting off on Cole's abuse. It was terrible to watch.
@@GraceReport I hope he's ok after that shocking and painful experience. Imagine going on a dating show and it turns out to be the worst thing you've ever gone through. The bullying and heckling from the other women was over the top too. Sometimes people are fragile and get in to self destructive behaviors after a traumatic event
I instantly noticed she was off after their first night at the honeymoon. She created an entire scenario in her head and made it reality to bash Cole.
She’s not evil 🙄 she’s just very annoying and insecure and has no self-esteem nor self-awareness
I could see faults from both ends during the season. However I couldn't help but notice times where Cole looked randomly broken and felt there were things happening off camera. His faults seemed more foot in mouth/immature and her faults seemed more deliberate and intentionally mean spirited. I could see her say nice things to him with a flat face and tone and was able to understand him asking her if she even liked him, because it was not translating. The oranges scene solidified for me that nothing she said could be trusted, along with his stunned reactions at the wedding and reunion that he was being gaslit. She started off the wedding ceremony saying beautiful things even opening with a prayer and then let him say beautiful romantic things before she said no and shredded him apart before God and everyone. It was the epitome of Narcissistic abuse with the love bombing followed by the takedown. It was calculated and planned and coordinated with her friends applause and staged walkout behind her for the final mic drop. Disgusting. The one good/bittersweet moment was to see his guy friends rally around him and circle around him for support.
Yes!!
Yes!!! You know I wondered if the clapping was staged. But now that you mentioned everyone collectively getting up to leave, dude 100% staged…wtf
It was totally narcissistic abuse and her supporters are her flying monkeys.
I agree! She is totally calculating and had the whole scene rehearsed and staged 😢
Zanab was trying to be the deepti of the season so bad. She thought that speech at the wedding was going to be her “empowering moment”. She even tried to make Cole the shake of the reunion. Cole wasn’t perfect but in no way was he a shake. And no way she could be deepti. Zanab was rude. She lied multiple times. And I think she low key wanted Matt to be more mad at Colleen than he was. And it worked because he started a whole thing about it again at that dinner. She’s very calculating.
And Nancy should of stayed out of that. Mad at the wrong person. I would much rather cole over bartise. So idk why she was arguing with cole 🙄
@@francheskaramos3012 yes! She had so much energy for cole but wasn’t that aggressive to Bartise, girl bye!
@@thetoriguide9713 everything bartise did was okay in her eyes. But going off Zenabs fake stories to sit there and attack Cole, like if Bartise hadn’t just embarrassed her 😒 they didn’t stop until cole was literally in tears.
@@francheskaramos3012 I know I was tearing up ! It was so difficult to watch
That's so true!
If you really pay attention to the reunion, Zanab is not the first person to bring up the Cuties or the girl at the bachelor party. The other girls are. In my opinion, she exaggerated and lied to make Cole look bad, and didn't think it would be brought up at the reunion. And when it was, she had to double down on her lies.
That's exactly the vibe I got. She lied to them behind closed doors and didn't think it would come up.... Lying through her teeth.
✅
This video needed to be made. Reflecting on her behavior now has been so eye-opening. Nobody mentions the episode where they’re trying on the dresses and then Z goes on and on about how her parents not being there. Despite everybody trying to reassure her. Did you notice Colleen‘s friend‘s reaction? I was her 😬 That was cringe AF
Actually at the time I felt like she kept going on and on because everyone was just so awkward and dismissing her feelings with the “they are here” it was making me so upset like NOBODY stood up to give her a hug, unless they edited out. It gave me a odd feeling!
@@paulak9871 I actually thought it was sweet of them to say that her parents are looking down on her from heaven ☺️. But it would’ve been even sweeter if they followed it up with a group hug. I feel like she was needing that physical affection from her friends 🫂
@@linann96
I think they said “they are here” so many times though, it didn’t seem to be comforting her even though SHE is religious herself, so I think it came off dismissive to me. To the point Z had to be prefacing her feelings with “I know they are here” but…
Just to be clear, it was pretty gut wrenching- I lost a parent young too, but she kept going negative every time they were trying to reassure her. I feel bad , but the family members of the other ladies were strangers. Like, know your audience 🤷🏼♀️. IMO
@@kittykatFL23
I’m so sorry you lost a parent young. People process deep grief differently, I don’t think expressing deep grief while you are trying on a wedding dress for the first time can be controlled because you have the “wrong audience “. The other girls were supposedly her friends. I think instead this situation could be revealing the other girls didn’t feel that close to her and maybe had gotten in a habit of dismissing her feelings because she was often negative.
I'm so glad you made this video!!! I was fooled by her the whole season and mostly focused on Bartise toxic behavior, until she belittled Cole in the kitchen when he was trying to make dinner. She then went to the girls upset saying he asked if she was bipolar. Not telling them what happened leading up to that. She is extremely toxic and did subtle things over time!!! And what she pulled at the altar really said, I'm going to humiliate him and get people to focus on what he "did" instead of the fact that I am walking away. I'm so glad the orange scene was shown at the end. Zanab is manipulative. She flew under the radar because she is a woman and she is pretty.( I'm going to the watch the video now and comment again...I needed to get that off my chest before hand.... 😂)
I remember zanab telling cole she didn’t know he’s “the male version of Megan fox.” It could be that she feels insecure next to him, so she makes him feel miserable by constantly putting him down.
They both were putting each other down.Her nagging and irritation along with his immaturity made for a bad combo.
I would say so. He’s a very attractive guy and her insecure behaviour begun immediately after meeting him.
@@Mistical1982 exactly!
@@Partycitybaex
Yes she was trying to neg and gaslight him
Thank you for making this video! More people need to realize what kind of person Zenab is. I feel so heartbroken for Cole. She is a horrible narcissist. Cole might be immature but he does NOT have bad intentions. I really wish Cole and Colleen got together because Matt also seems toxic 🤦🏻♀️
So glad some can see what a narcissist she is
Yeah, I started off hating Cole and Colleen together, but I ended up thinking they would be a really cute couple. Zanab and Matt are destructive.
Matt is definitely toxic he got anger issues and wanna be chased. did you catch the scene when bartiste* was telling him how lucky and he says “hey man ik you’re jealous…” it’s like wtf he said nothing to give that impression at least not in that scene
How do you know he does not have bad intentions ?
Is it just me or did anyone else think Colleen looked scared at the reunion?
Honestly Zay and the cast owes Cole an apology. They should do a follow up which im sure they will. Zay was hot and cold the ENTIRE time even up to the wedding. She was Smilling, crying, praying, and saying how much she loves him. Then turns into another person and humiliates him. He had every reason to ask her if she was bipolar.
Crying with no visible tears. Lol. Prior to that they had a discussion off camera and he said this is just too soon, we need to work on things. He said they agreed to say no but continue to date! They also had a couples counseling session! Per interview with Cole. And his sister face timed with Zay to meet her. My theory is that she was externally agreeing but internally fuming and told all her friends crap and planned that big scene at the altar.
Zanab belittled Cole. Everything he did wasn't right or good enough for her. She snapped at him so many times. Cole wasn't perfect, but nobody deserves to be talked to like they're in a battle.
Sorry most grown women dont think picking up after their husband is normal
@@not_botheredd9893 She messy too, throwing towels in the tub and her hair in the toilet. No need to be talking down to someone else you supposedly love
@@not_botheredd9893 It Is normal though. As a stay at home mom to 2 boys and a husband for the last decade I pick up after my boys and husband. If you really think a wife doesn't ever pick up after her husband you're wrong. My husband picks up after himself sometimes but he doesn't always and that's fine because we're a team and we both do our part for the family. I still love him regardless if he always cleans up after himself or not.
Also when Zanab was talking to the other girls during the honeymoon stage she was complaining about Cole giving her the silent treatment (in reference to their first morning together where she ended up being super cold to him.) I knew from that moment on that she was not a reliable narrator. And from every moment forward she proceeded to be everything Grace mentioned. Passive aggressive, nitpicky, negative, a victim. I was horrified at what she said/did at the altar, and I did not for a moment believe her accusations during the reunion. But so glad they aired the tangerine scene. Cole could have had his life ruined.
Also I was under the impression that Cole DID season the chicken. She was complaining about the chicken needing seasoning but as he went to season it she said that side had enough. So I think he just hadn't seasoned the other side, which makes sense because he had JUST flipped the chicken when she was complaining about it being unseasoned. Also he had seasoning on the counter right beside where he was cooking. Who has seasoning right there, with the other cooking supplies they're using, unless they're using it? Also I can't believe I'm arguing about seasoned/unseasoned chicken like it's important. But people are acting like what he did is horrible.
I think if someone is making you dinner for the first time, hold any and all critiques for some other time. You can even season the food how you like once it's been served. Otherwise say thank you, shut up, and eat it.
I agree with all of this but I have been waiting for someone to comment on the chicken seasoning. So many people going on and on about this. As you stated, someone is doing something nice for you just eat it and be grateful. When they ask how it was, you can gently mention the seasoning if it means so much to you or wait. There are ways of communicating without being hurtful and condescending.
Lol I feel ya! But it had to be said 😆.. I would appreciate it ☺💜
That scene really bothered me. She walked in upset and literally anything he did or say was bad in her ears!!!
Yes, that whole scene was horrible to watch. the critisism of EVERY.LITTLE.THING.HE.DID! while he is trying to do a nice thing and cook for her, she takes over and belittles him for everythign and in the end says "huh, it's so nice making food while you were the one who was supposed to cook for me".. then fing let him. Him just simply existing annoyed her. Ugh.
I think she has BPD. I have it and went to therapy for a long ass time to get myself under control and it’s still hard. I see it in her. She’s been through trauma with her family situation. Him making it clear she’s not his type physically, destroyed her. From that point on, everything he did, she saw it in the worst way possible. I think a lot of things Cole did as a joke like the orange situation, now she’s seeing it as he’s attacking her. I truly think she believes what she’s saying, like that it was really hurtful to her. I feel bad for Cole because I don’t think he was trying to hurt her. The Colleen thing was wrong but everything happened so fast that I can see how you can get caught up. He is a good guy and I think she’s a good woman but they’re a bad match.
Yes I think they both need therapy. However, Zenab unlike Cole doesn't seem to have any insight. It can make therapy difficult.
I agree. I am BPD too and I’ve had to work hard to get my reactions and passive aggressiveness in check and it’s still hard. She has major attachment problems and low self esteem. When he asked her if she is bipolar, I thought to myself no but she’s definitely BPD
@@angiem1704 agree but coming from someone with BPD, she sees it as HE started it when he did the Colleen thing and now she’s just reacting to what he did. Not saying she’s right about that but she sees her issues as reactions to his actions.
imo she is neutral at best. i have sympathy for mental health problems but once those problems start causing you to try and falsely ruin someone else's reputation, i start to look at them a different way
Def NPD or BPD. I thought the same thing. Either she genuinely felt like a victim in the moment (BPD) or its a manipulatory tool (NPD), in either case, she seems personality disordered to me. Even Cole, recognized she had a mental health issue but misdiagnosed as bipolar, which is understandable.
The more I think about it, the more I see the classic Narcissistic traits. They are master manipulators. The hot and cold, the stone walling, the I am perfect and I act this way because of what you did to me. The punishing of Cole when he did something wrong. Cole was confused. Cole was alienated by everyone in the cast, he was painted the villain, no one believed him, the classic victim of a Narcissist. I finally understood why he said she was bipolar too. He said they had a lot of fun and laughs but we never saw that. Can you imagine living with someone you love so much, you had fun and laughs with and suddenly she stone walls you and give you that negative attitude that says "boy you did something that made Mommy angry"?
100%
Z was gloating in the reunion. She showed no sympathy. Like Cole said, she said he was great but he broke her. She made no sense and every one in the reunion supporting her was disgusting. They crucified him without even talking to him. She was disgusting at the wedding yet expected him to reach out after that speech! Cole did not deserve all these.
Why did she owe cole sympathy? 🤔
Not sympathy but dignity, which she did not extend.
@@jennaharris6053 She flat out told him repeatedly that she 1000 percent wanted to marry him. Then "she would let him know"! Then 100 percent. Then if he was good! All in the same conversation. No wonder he's confused.
Zanab, lost her mother at 8 (this happened to a people that I know) and has had an amazing stepmother. Although her mother will never be replaced, she has had ample time to cope with this fact. She did not acknowledge her stepmother’s presence not once. Because she wanted everyone’s empath/sympathy instead.
The stepmom feels sooo sorry for her, even transmitted the same feelings to COLE. You can see how cole took it upon him to make this woman feel happy, he failed. Not because he didn’t try. But because she is stuck in her please feel sorry for me narrative. She’s a bit of a sadistic human, And vindictive at the same time.
I suffered a loss myself not tht long ago. But I had found the help necessary to understand that life is not forever.
she lost her dad at 13 and her mom at 18. But I agree mostly with what you said. I think it would have been nice if she acknowledged her step mothers presence and maybe she did but it wasn't shown. But Im not sure if I want to give her the benefit of the doubt after seeing how calculated she is lol.
@@suras8984 calculated- yes! Even the wedding. Her physical posturing when the pastor brought up those not there, her dramatic look to the empty seats, then her over dramatic speech playing the victim and making Cole a villain in front of their friends and family and getting the cheers she wanted- I was like- okay, I see you Zenab. But honestly it took me till then to realize she was playing a part.
Yes she completely disregarded the step mom that basically raised her cuz boo hoo my parents died 10 years ago. Like GIRL you’re not the only one with dead parents but you have to stop being so rude to those around you who actually care. I just hope any guy that dates her sees this show and never wants to marry her until she’s gotten EXTENSIVE therapy, because how much you wanna bet that she hasn’t even started 😩
Cole had his life force completely swallowed up through this experience. He will undoubtedly need therapy. While she was sitting on that reunion stage refreshed, glamorous and empowered, he was broken and anxious.
I do think however that Cole probably went his whole life getting away with annoying and immature behaviors. I didn’t like how he was unable to accept any form of criticism without calling her mean. It was childish.
But that cutie scene spoke volumes. She was there to set him up and have a Deepti moment.
Her and that cutie situation was a major reach she’s completely wrong. i honestly think she made up the story about the girls # too. And him calling her mean was kind of valid. she had a nasty attitude the whole season especially with him
Lol Deepti!!! I need she reminded me of someone, I just couldn’t figure out who it was.
I truly felt like Cole was telling the truth. How sad.
😂 “She never had self esteem to destroy” - Spot On!
Also very interesting you pointing out how Cole might’ve been just attracted to Colleen’s personality the whole time and not realizing, because the whole show I was flabbergasted that he thought Colleen was physically more attractive, so your theory gives me closure 😂
Fr though lmao 🤣 She's cute but to each their own
Nah, they make it a point to say that Zanab isn’t the type of person Cole gets with. It was very much because of her outward appearance only.
IM SO THANKFUL YOU SAID THIS !!!! Me and my husband were like that’s honestly what she was referring to ?!
Now I feel like she has been manipulating Cole this entire time .
This is what I’ve been saying since they met in Malibu 😩😩😩 we gotta stop tolerating these, antisocial, emotionally abusive behaviors and stop blowing them off because we feel like Zanab is justified in one moment but not the other. The behavior itself was never okay.
You did an excellent job with this video 👏
❤️❤️❤️
We need to keep standing up for Cole
Yesssss 👏👏👏
I agree. Her prayer & speech at the wedding was premeditated. She wanted a moment and got it. I don't think anymore thinks Cole is 100% innocent. He's immature, but he did not deserve what Zanab did to him. They need to do a psychological test for contestants on these shows.
Considering all the issues anyone, therapist/psychologist or not, can see from a mile away in almost all of the featured couples, I have a feeling they already do have them mentally evaluated beforehand and exploit their findings.
Zanab DOES NOT LOVE HERSELF! People cannot accept love from others when they don't feel it about themselves. She constantly belittled herself, her appearance, compared herself to Colleen. It is not Cole. Any man she is with will not work because she is actively looking for the negative.
Exactly I know this as someone who has played this part before
I knew it. I said in a live chat that she was to insecure and way to passive aggressive. No way she was Innocent. The little game she played at the very beginning on the trip and constantly putting Cole down. I knew he just didn't know better with the way he speaks. She's evil!
I was actually watching Dr. Honda do a review of their interactions and he said he doesn't think she's passive aggressive. He said she is actually openly hostile towards him she just does it in a measured voice, she doesn't yell. 🤯
Whether you liked Cole or not, I at least commend him for trying to be honest with her. Like she was so passive aggressive and I felt like he was trying to be direct from the beginning. Feel bad for the dude and I hope Zanab can work on herself and heal from whatever is going on.
no cure for narcissism unfortunately
She kept pushing him to answer questions
Omg I’m so glad you addressed this! She really pissed me off with her passive aggressive bullshit & I really didn’t think the cuties scene wasn’t that bad I feel like she really twisted that.
I thought she was wicked from the beginning and Cole, while immature, was honest and never anything but himself.
I thought this as well. I read between the lines on her real quick 👀 It was the pool scene for me…
@@AnaAcuraErica same! The very first one where she didn't want to get her hair wet. She seemed like a mega wet blanket and then the meanness started seeping through.
Very well said
I think Cole was immature but now seeing the “orange-gate”, I think a lot of what he said (that seemed rude or immature) was in response to something she said, and he honestly didn’t know how to respond. She def cut him down. He was crying and pleading to show the tapes, show the full conversations. No reason for him to beg for that unless there’s truth in it!!
I think kind of too but i think also he was already saying ‘little’ insensitive/uncensored comments like that about food and in general though too
He was so excited about the huge supper they were going to eat, it was actually precious. Like a kid at Christmas 💜
When she kept saying she forgave him while he was crying… She was trying to confuse him and make him feel grateful that she would accept his apologies. Also trying to make herself appear like the bigger person.
Thank God Zanab said "No" because poor Cole would of lived in a miserable marriage. Cole you deserve better. Praying for Cole. Zanab you need help and lots of prayer. Also I agree the entire cast should apologize to Cole.
Great analysis. Zanab orchestrated every conflict in their relationship. Yes, Cole shouldn't have been so brutally honest about his "typical type", but she was the one that wanted to be rated vs. the other girls. She was the one who remarked about trying to "fatten him up" and then set it up to make it look like he was weight shaming her. She flat out lied about the Cuties story. She seems to have lied about the bachelor party story, and Cole confirmed that they had talked about not getting married prior to the wedding day (so yes, she planned her little speech). The producers couldn't capture a single interaction between the two of them, where she didn't criticize him or make a negative comment about where they were or what they were doing. She is a deeply troubled person that needs a therapist and should never have been allowed to be on the show.
Yes you are so right! Zanab constantly projects her insecurities, mis-interprets what people say, plays a victim, behaves passive aggressively, makes overly-dramatic statements, does not take responsibility for her own short-comings, and acts externally like princess perfect…. I think the other thing she does is spreads stories to rally support & turn people against Cole (eg all the girls had heard Zanab’s version of the tangerine story (even though it never went to air prior), which was completely Zanab projecting her insecurities against an innocent comment). If anybody’s self confidence is destroyed by this process it’s Cole’s not Zanab’s!
She is a covert narcissist. I know, I've lived with a mother who did this to my dad. Cringe worthy, and then to get her flying monkeys to support her without really knowing what happened. Narcissists use other people like this all the time to get what they want, and a covert narc is always the victim, never apologizes, and won't address their own issues.
is it just me after seeing how things played out, that would have lowkey loved to see Cole and Colleen together because they would have brought each others positive energies out and they were probably more compatible if only they got to know each other a bit longer
Absolutely. In fact, I think Matt suppresses Colleen’s energy. Cole and Colleen had immediate chemistry. They would have been right to pursue that.
She really played us! She did give me a Debby Downer vibe, but I really thought he was the bad guy. I’m so glad they played that Cutie scene. I wondered why the guys didn’t clarify the bachelor party situation when she was attacking him. The other ladies really owe him an apology. He did fall out of love and gravitated towards Coleens before Matt energy. Because now, she seems miserable.
I went back and looked at their scenes as well & what I got from them is that Cole is super immature, but he was more mature in communicating when there is a problem. You start to see how Zenab’s perception of everything is skewed . For ex: the good vs . great scene. The difference between them is I don’t think cole is intentionally being malicious, but Zenab seems like her actions are intentionally calculating. Like she knows what to say to insult him, and then pretend like what she said was not hurtful. I think Cole’s actions come from his age, and Zenab’s actions come from moreso trauma. So it’s like she’s trying to stay steps ahead of him and she kind of puts herself in situations where he can confirm her fears. So then she justifies her complaining and nagging , placing everything on him. And her lack of emotion was also concerning
Right, they both said hurtful things but Zanab was the only one that seemed to have malicious intent.
I can’t even blame her friends for that standing ovation, who knows what she told those girls.
Cole is definitely more emotionally mature
I honestly don't know about Cole being super immature. I don't think he's all that immature, sure he has a couple of things to work on but it's not nearly as bad as Zanab. And I think he IS ready for a serious relationship while Zanab is not.
FINALLY!!! Someone said it!! I was watching and I noticed that she was always rude, always with an attitude, I even though in the after dancing lessons scene “He’s is truly in love and she is being so cold”
Zanab was hardly sweet or affectionate to him, he was more into her than her, even though he said some horrid things, she was worst because she was always putting him down.
I still am not fond of Cole's personality, but I will definitely admit that Zanab was manipulative and her insecurities caused her perspective of things that were happening to be skewed and exaggerated. Honestly, Colleen probably WOULD have been better for him. She acts like a disappointed mother and not a woman who loves him. He acted like a kid who was trying to get approval, but she constantly shut him down.
Omg!!!! I just watched the reunion and the ending😳😳 her selective memory when she’s story telling- I’m shocked! And his reaction seemed very genuine, sorry Cole, I too was wrong about you.
I have just watched The Renunion and I am gobsmacked, word Sociopath comes to mind. She twisted words and manipulated everyone and broke Cole. For no other reasons than what a sociopath does best and that is get the thrill of watching someone else suffer. Everyone is the cast best open their eyes or they could be on her target list, best thing to do in this situation is to walk away and not engage with someone like that. But I am so glad that the truth has come out and the chameleon has now been revealed.
Honestly it’s a blessing in disguise that she said no - She was really off from day one. He was definitely not perfect but she was all wrong from the beginning and I’m glad they are not together. Cole does not deserve a lifetime of her. I know he was gutted and I cried along with him but I know he will heal and find someone right for him in the future
My hair falls out like crazy, I collect it in toilet paper and I throw it out. I'd never dream of putting it in the toilet and I'd certainly never leave it for the next person to flush. That's when I knew Zanab was off.
I wouldn’t even throw hair in the toilet because hair floats, so it’ll be significantly harder to make sure all of the pieces flush down the toilet. That’s literally the stupidest thing I’ve heard.
@@bookbag6432 My friend does this and when I visit her house it drives me insane. I literally clean all her hair off the floor of her bathroom throw in the garbage and then flush the toilet from all the hair she leaves in it before I pee. It is ocd distressing for me lol.
In general i dont think thats as bad as Alexa describing how they speak when they cuss to the kids and that they cuss to the kids..
@@leslier7350 Well obviously there is much worse behaviour on the show than anyones level of cleanliness. Your comparison goes beyond comparing apples to oranges and more along the lines of comparing apples to the constellation. These are different categories unrelated to one another. There is no comparison.
It’s refreshing that other people see what I have throughout this whole thing. I relate to Cole personality wise and she was just this insecure, nitpicky, rude, rigid, boring, complaining wet blanket the whole time. I hate the whole gender aspect that always comes with this, like the way so many women side with the chick no matter how much they suck. They even have brought race into this to make it seem like Cole was racist since he felt more attracted to Colleen. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Colleen also was more fun and didn’t care about her hair getting wet and all that nonsense. I feel so bad for young and/or naive people who get sucked into these toxic shows and then the Internet chooses them as a scapegoat and turns them into these cartoon villains.
Anyway, glad to listen to a woman who doesn’t fall for the fake feminist propaganda.
I never liked her to be honest. I always thought she was mean so I was shocked people loved her.
You’re so right! I rewatched this season of Love is Blind and yes, he was bad. I thought that it was just him at first. However, SHE was not the greatest to him too! It was toxic for both of them. The way she did him at the altar was really terrible and everyone ran to her defense in the Reunion. I like your input on things. No one seems to call HER out on the show/after show except for him.
Phycology major here, abuse victims are more likely to stay the longer they’ve been in the relationship from a physiological stand point. That being said not all cases are the same. From watching the show cole seemed to be the victim of abuse.
Psychology* but yes I’d agree to this !
I think that zanab took the “cutie” comment completely out of context… I think he meant not to eat too much before dinner so she wouldnt get full, not questioning her for other reasons…She possibly took the salad comment incorrectly as well, based off her own insecurities!?
I think she's so insecure she takes everything as a personal insult. I took it as save your appetite we are going to have large meal later AND he mentioned he offered her a poke bowl and she didn't want jt because they had it the night before. So i was confused when she explained it before and completely flipped the story to make him out to be abusive.
Zanab reminds me of a friend that I had who was extremely manipulative and narcissistic. It seems like zanab is trying to perceive herself as so mature and clean in front of the cameras.
I figured Zenab out at the same time you did. It was very clear from that conversation she would not take responsibility. It became a clear pattern moving forward. The only thing I was surprised by was the way she read him at the wedding. I thought he would go first and say no.
Thank you for this video!!
It really made me sick to my stomach to see how she did Cole.
Now they both brought out the worst in each other they very obviously were not a good fit. But Cole was Cole-his personality is goofy and fun and she hated that from the beginning and by the end snuffed it out in him.
She very obviously let her own insecurities get to her and because she was thinking things assumed Cole was too.
That orange scene is so sad he’s all excited to meet her family and travel with her and even that she’s talking to him like he’s dumb saying all her family isn’t in the same area or whatever…like she is just miserable and took him down with her.
I really hope everyone that attacked him feels bad and that he can find someone who embraces his personality.
This is the first time I've ever searched for something after watching a show. But her lies pissed me off, here I am. 🤣 & I'm thankful everyone feels like I do. I believe Cole. & And am disgusted at what this woman has accused Cole of on national television. Unexcusable!
Omgggg thank you ! I don’t understand how people were still defending her after the reunion ! She’s beyond insecure and projected that onto everything Cole said and did
Yes she was gaslighting him the whole time. He was put out to be a villain when he is just an immature person but he didn't do all those things like she said. Especially with that "cuite" story.
Deepti cast a long shadow on this season. The reunion confirmed it beyond all doubt. Zanab saw her success as a victim and wanted it for herself. Once the cracks appeared with Cole, she decided to exploit it rather than try to fix things (like Cole did)
Cole dodged a bullet. Can you imagine coming home to Zanab after a long day at work? You just want a kind and supportive wife. Not her.
According to Zanab's IG post their weddings was a week apart so she had no clue about Deepti's experience. Butttt my question is this, wasnt the reunions months apart. Wouldn't Zanab have time to rehearse for her reunion?!
Yes! I agree with you completely. Power from playing the victim, spreading stories and rallying support feels powerful to these type of people
Well said 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
This!!! i thought the exact same thing
Nobody gonna talk about how she put dollar bills in the strippers underwear knowing, and even going as far as to say (OUT LOUD) that Cole didn’t want you to do that, but then did it anyway… Cole may have said what he said about Colleen, but she straight up disrespected his wishes and touched all up on that stripper that night. So 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I have been saying this from the beginning!! She has been putting her insecurities off on him.
She's a horrible person and Cole is lucky he's away from her. Hopefully no man has to endure her ever again.
I watched the cuties scene and Cole was genuinely interested in traveling to meet Zanabs family wherever they were. In England or the Middle East or wherever. He was excitedly telling her that he was interested in knowing more about her and SHE TOLD HIM that SHE DOESNT LISTEN TO HIM and that he talks a lot of cole! WTF?? And then he’s genuinely concerned when she tells him that she only ate a banana and asks her why? And then reminds her that he had offered her a poke bowl….
Zanab has issues that she’s fighting. She’s unhappy and she directs all of her anger at Cole and even blames him for everything that she hates about herself. And the worst part is that she turns the whole cast against him with her lies. She is also always right and he is always wrong. She doesn’t care about destroying him. And I was tearing up as I saw Cole cry who was really confused with all of her accusations.
Thank you for making this video. I thought I was crazy maybe, being the only one noticing this stuff during the season. Also, I firmly believe Cole wasn't asking her if she was Bi-Polar as a joke or insult, I think he asked out of real concern, and just couldn't find a better time to address it and just had to. I'm SURE her behavior (what we saw and didn't) added up to something seriously being WRONG and he really did care for her.
I thought the nurf gun was funny someone more compatible would of thought the same thing. People love in different ways, serious, playfully, structurally, mentally in this case opposite attract for growth and so they both can see their blindsides and become better. Unfortunately I think Zanab might be to embedded in her toxic trauma.
i knew it was bad when i genuinely felt bad for cole crying not once but twice
Calling him out on their wedding day was 100% inappropriate...she gave him 0 chance to defend himself. She knew exactly what she was doing. Cole is immature and yes he has issues himself...not making excuses for him. She complained....and complained....and complained the whole time. This girl has issues and is going to have a hard time finding anyone wanting to be with her if she doesn't learn to stop picking people apart and quit acting like she is the innocent one. No respect for her on what she did to him.
Love your level of commitment that you actually went back and rewatched the entire season of this mess 👏
I knew she was lying when it flew out of her mouth. I felt like her speech at the wedding came out of nowhere and she had been plotting that speech since the incident with Colleen happened as revenge. Her friends were aware that's why they clapped and walked out. She got those girls riled up for an attack an it was unfair. I feel that if those things had happened as she said they certainly would have aired because at the end of the day the producers job is to create a product that will get people talking and engaged in the show. They love controversial elements. Hence the seen with Andrew adding eye drops for dramatic effect. She just wasn't counting on them airing the actual seen. She wants to hurt this kid and she continues to do so. No he isn't perfect he did things as well but she was awful. She knew his age when she said yes so to then act superior because she is older is ridiculous as well. She humiliated him at the alter and then doubled down at the reunion and I just hope that he can heal and move on and that she can learn to take some accountability. She projected her insecure thoughts and emotions onto him and that wasn't right at all.
Baby that was crazy the way she was holding all that anger in and humiliated cole infront of everyone she been had that planned from the first argument
Cole isn't perfect but she seemed like a nightmare. They were not a good match.
From the beginning I've been saying that something is wrong with that woman and people attacked me, calling me a pickme. She's insecure and cruel.
Also when cole asked if she was bipolar she smiled like something just made sense in her soul then she tried to act mad to make it into a story for everyone else
Yes, I caught that too. Narcs hate when you see through the delicate facade they created. She probably punished him more because of it. Hopefully, Cole is seeing all these claims of NPD and read and understand what just happened to him. Only those who have experienced it can understand.
I think the smirk was hmm I will be able to add this to the list. Everyone uses him calling her bipolar as an example of being awful to her. But when you’re genuinely trying to figure out why they are saying they love but constantly belittling you with contempt, you start to wonder what’s causing this. But people just labeled it stigmatizing.
She didn’t play me I swear! I saw what she was doing sensé the first day of their honeymoon. I told everyone nobody believed me. I have had people like her in my life.
I was very surprised to see I was the only one who could see Zanab as a manipulative narcissist from the get-go. But I kinda understand, these people really know how to fool most people and drag ANYONE who they view as an enemy. An enemy to a narcissist is anyone who dares to show them they are not perfect.
To me it was all very obvious (because I have narcissistic people in my family), but to other people they may only seem as a bit insecure or a complicated person. She is a covert narcissist and dragging her down will do nothing but make her even more malicious.
I actually noticed these things too earlier on, it’s subtle but if you pay attention it’s noticeable. She was like someone who was emotionally abusive to me and did the things they did especially towards the end so I spotted it despite the shows attention to coles faults and the editing. For me when I say narcissist I don’t mean oh abuser and evil, narcissism is just a disorder and doesn’t necessarily have to mean that, I just mean that objectively.
I think she likely has ptsd and deep insecurities. Her view is very distorted and that is why I think she must have something in the cluster b bc they all have distortions and black and white thinking.
What makes me theorize she might be a covert narcissist or a larger sign was her reaction to coles 9/10 when she essentially said I’m a gorgeous queen and your lucky to be with me, she didn’t say that specifically. But most people would not respond that way, I’m not saying she didn’t have a right to be offended or that cole was in the right there he wasn’t it was pretty stupid to say. It’s just more that when her insecurities where touched on her first reaction to that feeling was defense and needing to say what she doesn’t actually feel about herself. It felt misplaced almost.
Thank you for the PSA! We needed a in depth video of why Zanab is toxic. Her insecurities got the best of her and she was projecting onto him her misery.
Cuties scene ..He was also so excited to go out for a big meal with her. She was so focused on being miserable that she couldn’t care less what he was saying.
I’m so glad you brought up this topic because I can’t get over how toxic Zanab was. The way Cole handled the Coleen situation wasn’t the right way, however I think a part of him sensed that she would’ve been a better match for him. Cole is naturally playful and goofy. Zanab is entitled, calculated, judgmental, hateful and extremely insecure. It really seemed like he was trying but she was just shutting him out and projecting all of her insecurities. On top of all that, the way she manipulated then humiliated him at the altar made me sick to my stomach. It was immature. When he asked if she had bipolar, I asked myself the same thing because of how delusional she was. The finale only proved how terrible of a person she is. After seeing the scene in the kitchen, she completely lied about Cole. That was it for me. She’s extremely manipulative and toxic and I hope Cole recovers from everything she put him through.