Director Notes And Script/Dialogue copy and pasted from my notepad. Part 1: *"Walk" Video Plays* "One very grey and dismal day on a secluded mountain top, a bizarre and reclusive hermit by the name of Arthur decided to walk his dog. However, it was on this very grey and dismal day that the estranged man would hear an incredibly natural and analog sounding synthesizer like no other." - Narrator. *"WOW!" Video Plays* "Wow! I sure enjoy the sound of sine waveform oscillators chirping along in the morning. OH, WAIT A MINUTE. I believe that I'm referring to the sound of chirping birds! Which brings me to a good point, as the narrator already said; Birds are just nature's synthesizers! Let's explore this more in depth, shall we?" - Arthur. *Record Scratch Sample Plays* * "Looking Upwards" Video Plays* "Dearest Arthur, now you can do just that!" - Narrator. "WHO SAID THAT?" - Arthur. "Hello, Arthur, it is I, the narrator of this ludicrous and maniacal TH-cam content. I am very pleased just to know you." - Narrator. * "Oh, Really Cool!" Video Plays* "Oh, really cool!" - Arthur. * "Wait a minute!" Video Plays* "Wait a minute! How do you seem to know so much about me and who I am and I know very little or, ya know, nothing at all about you? Also, where are you coming from? Are you coming from up above? Are you coming from down below? Are you coming from right in front of my face?" - Arthur. "Who or what I am matters not, Arthur. It only matters that I know who you are!" - Narrator. "Well, uhhhh, I'm really interested in Birds being Nature's Synthesizers and all- Wow, I've fallen over." - Arthur. "CUT! TRY THAT AGAIN! FOURTH WALL BREAK OF PERCEPTION!" - Narrator. * "If I Were Curious" Video Plays* "If I were curious to know a little bit more about how birds are nature's synthesizers and how that applies to real life, would you be so KEIYIND as to enlighten me?" - Arthur.
"I can connect you with an incredibly wise and ancient teacher who can discuss a lengthy lecture on Birds being Nature's Synthesizers!" - Narrator. "Now, THAT WOULD BE STUPENDOUS!" - Arthur. "I thought you might say that, Arthur! Before we get started, we need a theme song opening though because it was written in as part of the contract and there really is just no way to dismantle the fine print. I've tried." - Narrator. *THEME SONG PLAYS* * "Theme Song" Video Plays* *1 minute long, with incredibly cheesy and terrible lyrics and singing and lots of use of the Green Screen.* *Blank Screen* "WOW, I AM FLATTERED TO TEACH, UNSEEN NARRATOR VOICE FROM BEYOND! I AM ALSO AN UNSEEN TEACHER VOICE FROM BEYOND" - Teacher. *"SchoolTime" Video Plays* "THANKS FOR GETTING ME IN CONTACT WITH ARTHUR! HE SEEMS LIKE A GREAT ADDITION TO THE CLASS OF OTHERS WHO LOOK.......Well, a lot like him, actually. I haven't figured that part out yet. Now, right before we get started with our expedition of education here, we should really have a word with Arthur's Twin brother, Cornelious, just to see what his thoughts on this matter are. TAKE IT AWAY, CORN!" - Teacher. *"Twin Brother Speaks" Video Plays* "Why yes, I do believe that it does stand to reason that birds are nature's synthesizers or the equivalent in some way, shape, or form, for they produce something eerily similar to the tone of a sine waveform oscillator coming from a synthesis engine. Where is this synthesis engine sourced though? I have no idea. And now, back to my twin brother." - Cornelious. *"SchoolTime" Video Plays* "Thank you for taking the time out of your very busy agenda to speak with us for a moment, Cornelious! Wow, that was some incredibly enlightening information you have given to us today! I doubt that my perspective on anything will ever be the same as it was just 20 seconds ago! Alright, Arthur, it sounds to me like we have our work cut out for us if we're going to determine why exactly a bird is just Nature's natural Synthesizer!" - Teacher. "Oh, Great Teacher Voice coming from no discernable area in space that surrounds me, thank you VERY MUCH for your endeavor to instruct a scatter-minded oaf like myself! I will heed all of the coming information and be sure to study hard for the exam!" - Arthur.
Director Notes And Script/Dialogue copy and pasted from my notepad. Part 2: "HO HO HO HO HOOOOOOOO!!!! Wow, what a hardy chuckle that implies delight at the sight of such a poor- I MEAN, splendid attempt at comedy or humor! I don't recall the last time I chuckled that deeply! Okie dokie, anchovies and balogna, withdraw your writing utensil and/or device for literacy and pay very close attention to what I'm about to say." - Teacher. "With all due respect to you, Great Voice, what if I need the information to be repeated?" - Arthur. "NO NO NO NO!!!!! THAT WILL NOT DO. YOU MUST UNDER-" *Coughs violently* "Uhhhmmmm, Ahem, I mean, yes, no, see, uh, we are very tight on time here today and have a lot to cover in our lesson-plan, but I'm sure I could repeat what I say just.... once, yes." - Teacher. "What if I need it repeated twice?" - Arthur. "HOW WOULD THAT EVEN BE POSSIBLE UNLESS YOU JUST ARE NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION, YOU FILTHY AND ABOMINABLE PIECE OF- I mean, uh, okay wow. WOW. Well, then, I suppose that would be alright as well. Yes! I shall repeat this information for you twice if need be! Just try VERY HARD to pay attention and comprehend. Okie dokie, anchovies and balogna?" - Teacher. "I don't know what that means, but okay. Okie dokie, anchovies and balogna!" - Arthur. "..........Ahhh........Yes......I see, well, I have a feeling that you are going to be a very bright student of mine. Let's get started!" - Teacher. *"FL Studio Sine Waveform Osc" Video Plays* "Now, pay very close attention to this screen, my boy. As you can clearly see here on my screen, I have what is known to be a synthesizer generator VST Plugin that is capable of oscillating frequencies of various shapes and waveforms, but right now we're going to focus on-" - Teacher. *"Arthur's Lost Interest" Video Plays* "BORRRRINGGGGGG. LAMEEEEEEE. DULLLLLLLLL. I already knew all of that! I know what a Synthesizer is and I know about oscillators and-" - Arthur. *"FL Studio Sine Waveform Osc" Video Plays* "SILENCE. You would do well to listen to my instruction, young man. Now, continuing where I left off before I was so RUDELY INTERRUPTED by one of those know-it-all smart- I MEAN, before my wonderful student had a very important thought to point out! We are going to focus on a SINE WAVEFORM Oscillator, which, as you might already be aware, just produces a fundamental tone or frequency without any additional harmonics happening in the higher end of the frequency spectrum, like what you might see with a Sawtooth or Square waveform, for example. This is because most birds I have come across in my very arcane and ancient timelessness and spacelessness here on your bizarre planet just so happen to produce or recreate a Sine waveform when they chirp or tweet! Isn't that just PHENOMENAL???? DOESN'T THAT JUST GET YA EXCITED ABOUT LEARNING???" - Teacher. *"Arthur's Lost Interest" Video Plays* "Yeah....Um, that's great. You sound insane, but please, just keep going. I'm listening. Well, I'm trying my best to listen, anyway." - Arthur. *"SchoolTime" Video Plays* "Yes, yes, yes....Insanity is the new sanity these days, after all. Didn't ya know it was trending? Anyway, now where was I? OH YES, let me just get back to page number 48 here.....Uhhh....Let's see, Dogs being Digtal Audio Workstations. Nope, not that one. Cats being Hardware or Software and System Bios updates. No, I already went over that lesson with Cornelious, though. You should really ask him about it some time. AHHHHHHHH, THERE IT IS. Birds Are Nature's Synthesizers! Page 48. Now, we still have a lot of information to cover and I do have a tendency to ramble, so be sure you're writing every bit of this down." - Teacher. "What was the entire first section again? I already forgot." - Arthur. *"Sinewave Bird" Video Plays* "YOU, YOUUUUU, YOU WHAT?!?!?!? HOW?!?!?!? Ahem, I mean, um, yes, that does seem to happen to all of us from time to time, uhhhhh, I do believe that I could just briefly summarize a lot of it though. All you need to know is that a synth plugin in your DAW can produce tones and frequencies from a Sine waveform oscillator that can be FURTHER modulated in ways that sound like a bird or group of birds are all chirping! It just depends on the number of Oscillators you have. Do you have one or two oscillators?" - Teacher. "I don't have any oscillators. I have a pencil though, sir." - Arthur. "THAT WAS RHETORICAL. YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER. I KNOW YOU HAVE A PENCIL AND I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE AN OSCILLATOR RIGHT NOW, BUT.....Say.....Could you do me a favor and whistle real quickly?" - Teacher. "Whistle? Like with my mouth?" - Arthur. "Yes, that would be the most effective way to produce the sine waveform oscillator that I'm looking to hear. Go on. Do it. Give us a good ole' whistle." - Teacher.
Director Notes And Script/Dialogue copy and pasted from my notepad. Part 3: "Well, if you insist, I will make sure to do just that, sir. This isn't for a grade, is it? I don't perform very well under systematically structured and curriculum- induced pressure." - Arthur. "No, no, no, this is not for a grade. This is simply just to help with demonstration purposes only. Lead the rest of the class, Arthur. Go on. Give us all your best whistle!" - Teacher. *"The Rest Of The Class" Video Plays* "Yessssssssssss, Arthur!!!! Lead USSSSSSSS!!!!!" - A Bunch of random accumulations of costumes, photoshop, etc. *"SchoolTime" Video Plays* "Well, okie dokie, anchovies and balogna then! You all are just far too kind! Alright, here I go!" - Arthur. *"Arthur Emits Static Noise" Video Plays* *Record Scratch Sample* "STOP. ENOUGH. I HAVE HEARD ENOUGH! OKAY WOW, UM, WE HAVE A LOT OF PROGRESS WE NEED TO MAKE. I mean, uhhhhhhhh, it really wasn't TOO terrible for a beginner, truly.....Uhhhhh, I think you might have gotten the tone just a little bit.... Dare I say, sounding like Television static? I don't intend to criticise you here, but wow, that was not at all what I was expecting to hear come out of your mouth just then." - Teacher. "Oh.....Sorry....." - Arthur. "It's alright! Just....Here.....Listen to mine." - Teacher. *Teacher whistles a sweet song with a very easy-listening and classical music, orchestral sounding instrumental playing in the background.* "Did ya hear that, class? That is pretty close to a real-life, humanistic and organic Sine waveform oscillator. Now, try it out for yourselves! All together now!" - Teacher. "We've only just started, sir! Are you sure?" - Class in unison. "As guaranteed as bird seed, I am! Now, go on and give it your best shot!" - Teacher. "Well, alright. Here we go." - Class in unison. * "Entire Dubstep Track Plays For 4 Seconds" Video Plays* *Entire Dubstep track plays but for 4 seconds* *Record Scratch Sample* "NO. NO. NOPE. NOT THAT. STOP IT. WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING, YOU GROUP OF UTTER BAFOO- I mean, um.....Wow, that sounded a bit like the year 2011. Have you heard of that year, by any chance? The music changed forever. How did you all actually manage to pull that off so quickly? What? It makes no sense to me. We're still on........ Sine Waveforms.......Ughhhhhhhh, well done. All of you. At least you can MAKE the SUB BASS, but none of you have figured out how to ONLY HAVE THE SUB BASS ITSELF. Now, take a sub bass and transpose it up several octaves, please. You'll be much closer to a whistling sound once we add in some vibrato or pitch modulation of some sort, especially if we route the pitch to a Low Frequency Oscillator, or 'LFO' as it is often abbreviated. We could even throw in an envelope generator, for good measure!" - Teacher. "We don't have a sub bass, sir. We only have pencils. It's all that you gave us." - Arthur. "WOULD YOU JUST.....AGHHHHH, FINE. YES. YOU ARE CORRECT. I DID NOT GIVE ANY OF YOU A DIGITAL AUDIO WORKSTATION FOR THIS BEFORE WE BEGAN." - Teacher. "We don't have any computers either." - Arthur. "YES, RIGHT. I REALIZE THAT NOW. Okay wow, um, let's see here. Maybe this would just be easier if I pulled up some pictures of some birds for a demonstration instead." - Teacher. *"Pictures Of Birds" Video Plays* "Okie dokie, anchovies and balogna!" - Class in Unison. "WAIT. STOP THAT. WHY ARE ALL OF YOU SAYING THAT NOW??? ONLY I COULD-" - Teacher. "Sir, you encouraged us to start saying it too." - Arthur. ".........Right......Well, um, moving on with our lecture now. Let's just skip from page 48 to page 65. It's a very long segment to cover and you all seem to be much brighter than I initially realized." - Teacher. "Oh, many sincere thanks and words of appreciation for that comment, Great Voice!" - Class in unison. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, don't let it get to your heads now, okay? Wait a minute, how come the entire class just looks like a bunch of you, but dressed up in different clothing, Arthur? I thought that only your brother, Cornelious, could do that." - Teacher. "Cornelious is all around us at all times, oh Great Voice Teacher. We do not know how he manages it." - Arthur.
Director Notes And Script/Dialogue copy and pasted from my notepad. Part 4: "...........You've reminded me why I just shouldn't have even asked you that question, okay wow. Um, okay so, now moving right along and skipping to page 65 here, we can clearly see that many Blue And Red Jays are birds which whistle a clean, clear, pure sounding fundamental tone or frequency that is a sine waveform without any additional harmonic frequency content happening in the higher end of the spectrum. If you heard a bird out in nature that made a Sawtooth or Square waveform, you would be able to tell, but it would just....be very much out of the ordinary. A Bird with a square oscillator waveform, for example, would just sound like its call or chirping tone has been pushed through distortion or saturation in order to achieve that sound instead of its pure fundamental Sine wave tone." - Teacher. "SIR! HI SIR! I'M RAISING MY HAND! PLEASE ASK ME WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY! PLEASE!" - Arthur. ".......Yes.....Ahhh, you again, Arthur. Yes, please, do feel free to go ahead and ask your question which you seem so EAGERLY PREPARED TO INTERRUPT THE- I MEAN enlighten us with! Yes, please do enlighten the rest of the class with your incredibly important question that you have so dilligently raised your hand in order to ask!" - Teacher. "Oh, many thanks to you, sir. Many thanks, indeed. Yes, I was just going to ask what the probability of a bird sounding like a Square, Pulse, Noise, Triangle, Sawtooth, Frequency Modulated, Ring Modulated, or Wavetable Oscillated waveform might be? What is the likelyhood that I might encounter such a sound in nature?" - Arthur. "Why, UM, WELL, YOU SEE.....THAT..... Wow, Arthur, now why did you have to go and ask me a question like that one? Way to really stump the teacher here. I MEAN, there are no stupid questions, after all! I just hope I don't give you a stupid answer!" - Teacher. *"Arthur Beaming Brightly" Video Plays* "Oh, Great Voice Teacher, there are no stupid answers!" - Arthur. *"Pictures Of Birds" Video Plays*
"HO HO HO HO HOOOOO!!!!! MY BOY, I DO BELIEVE I HAVE CHUCKLED ONCE AGAIN." - Teacher. "I do believe you have as well, sir. I do believe you have as well, indeed!" - Arthur. "Right, right, right, don't ruin the moment though. Okay, now to attempt to answer your question, I believe that......could very well be a possibility within the numerous realms of possibilities here." - Teacher. "I think so too, Great Teacher Voice, sir! After all, have you heard a crow or a finch? They do not sound like pure sine waveform oscillators when they chirp! They tend to sound closer to FM, RM, or Wavetable synthesis!" - Arthur. "WELL, OKIE DOKIE, ANCHOVIES AND BALOGNA, MR. I KNOW WAY MORE THAN THE TEACHER VOICE KNOWS HERE. PLEASE, GO AHEAD. TEACH THE WHOLE CLASS, WHY DON'T YOU?" - Teacher. "Ohhhhhhh, thank you so very much for this fantastic opportunity, sir, but I will sadly have to decline your offer. You see, I have to go and have lunch with Cornelious at 4:00 PM. It's a brotherly tradition that we eat lunch every single day at 4:00 PM. I simply would not miss it. Even for this." - Arthur. "WAIT. ARTHUR. WHY ARE YOU EATING LUNCH AT 4:00 PM? WHAT IS......WHAT ARE..... Alright, well, uhhhhhhh, I suppose I would not want to intervene with such a religious ritual that you two seem to share. By all means, leave the classroom, but I cannot guarantee that you will pass the exam." - Teacher. "With all due respect again, Great Teacher Voice, sir, I thought that you said previously that we wouldn't be graded for this?" - Arthur. "I SAID YOU WOULD NOT BE GRADED FOR THE ATTEMPT AT A BIRD WHISTLE. YOU STILL HAVE AN EXAMINATION COMING UP." - Teacher. "Sir, I spoke with the rest of my peers here who all happen to just look a whole lot like me and Cornelious, and we all happen to agree that 1. This course and the criteria required to graduate have been made incredibly unclear to us and we just don't know how to know what we need in order to graduate and what we don't need. Also, 2, apparently everyone else in the class has a 4:00 PM lunch appointment with their brother, Cornelious, as well! I wouldn't want any of us to miss this!" - Arthur. *Blank Screen* "And so, Arthur and his new peers from the Bird classroom decided to go meet their brother, Cornelious, for the 4:00 PM Lunch Appointment that was simply far too imperative to miss. The Great and nameless teacher voice felt a little bit sad, but all was well and then the credits song played. The end." - Narrator. * "Credits" Video plays* *Credits song plays for about a minute. Camera is on all of the class eating together at the resturant while the Teacher is singing in Brinz Tooth's voice. He is singing about how he only wants to teach people about birds being synthesizers and making sine waveforms but how everyone just wants to go eat lunch with Cornelious instead.*
Thank you. He's the kind of man that if you had met him, he would have stayed with you for the rest of your life. Very cool guy. He was always a leader and a bit of a comic by heart. Best camp director we could have ever had, by far. He was also our lifeguard as well. He was the one who first allowed me to pass the swimming test so I could finally swim in the 9 ft. part of the pool lol. Again, I just really wish I had gotten this video finished while he was still here. I wanted him to see it. I think it would have made him laugh and probably also shake his head at the same time.
Time-Stamps: 00:00 - In Memory Of Rob Blanchard 00:15 - Disclaimer 00:20 - A Ludicrous And Ridiculous Walk In The Morning 2:51 - Opening Theme Song 3:58 - Classroom Lecture (Part 1) 12:09 - Intermission And Commercial Break 13:32 - Classroom Lecture (Part 2) 21:53 - Credits Theme Song
I've pinned the Script/Dialogue and the direction notes as a pinned comment and it is in 4 separate parts/comments. It was A REALLY LONG script. If you wish to follow along through the script, It's pinned here in the comments! Just look for the replies to the pinned comment and you will find the other 3 parts of the script.
iPhone camera and poor lighting for green screen = big budget box office hit! No, but seriously, the ideas were all there, for sure lol. I hope you enjoyed it and that it was also informative at the same time! I feel like I went on a lot of tangents anyway.
It absolutely is a testament to just how much brain rot I have endured in the nearly 30 or so years of existing as a person. I'm somehow managing on half a brain cell now at this point lol.
Director Notes And Script/Dialogue copy and pasted from my notepad. Part 1:
*"Walk" Video Plays*
"One very grey and dismal day on a secluded mountain top, a bizarre and reclusive hermit by
the name of Arthur decided to walk his dog. However, it was on this very grey and dismal day
that the estranged man would hear an incredibly natural and analog sounding synthesizer like
no other." - Narrator.
*"WOW!" Video Plays*
"Wow! I sure enjoy the sound of sine waveform oscillators chirping along in the morning.
OH, WAIT A MINUTE. I believe that I'm referring to the sound of chirping birds!
Which brings me to a good point, as the narrator already said;
Birds are just nature's synthesizers! Let's explore this more
in depth, shall we?" - Arthur.
*Record Scratch Sample Plays*
* "Looking Upwards" Video Plays*
"Dearest Arthur, now you can do just that!" - Narrator.
"WHO SAID THAT?" - Arthur.
"Hello, Arthur, it is I, the narrator of this ludicrous and maniacal TH-cam content.
I am very pleased just to know you." - Narrator.
* "Oh, Really Cool!" Video Plays*
"Oh, really cool!" - Arthur.
* "Wait a minute!" Video Plays*
"Wait a minute! How do you seem to know so much about me and who I am and I know very
little or, ya know, nothing at all about you? Also, where are you coming from? Are
you coming from up above? Are you coming from down below? Are you coming from right
in front of my face?" - Arthur.
"Who or what I am matters not, Arthur. It only matters that I know who you are!"
- Narrator.
"Well, uhhhh, I'm really interested in Birds being Nature's Synthesizers and all-
Wow, I've fallen over."
- Arthur.
"CUT! TRY THAT AGAIN! FOURTH WALL BREAK OF PERCEPTION!"
- Narrator.
* "If I Were Curious" Video Plays*
"If I were curious to know a little bit more about how birds are nature's
synthesizers and how that applies to real life, would you be so KEIYIND
as to enlighten me?" - Arthur.
"I can connect you with an incredibly wise and ancient teacher who can discuss
a lengthy lecture on Birds being Nature's Synthesizers!" - Narrator.
"Now, THAT WOULD BE STUPENDOUS!" - Arthur.
"I thought you might say that, Arthur! Before we get started, we need a theme
song opening though because it was written in as part of the contract and there
really is just no way to dismantle the fine print. I've tried." - Narrator.
*THEME SONG PLAYS*
* "Theme Song" Video Plays*
*1 minute long, with incredibly cheesy and terrible lyrics and singing and
lots of use of the Green Screen.*
*Blank Screen*
"WOW, I AM FLATTERED TO TEACH, UNSEEN NARRATOR VOICE FROM BEYOND!
I AM ALSO AN UNSEEN TEACHER VOICE FROM BEYOND" - Teacher.
*"SchoolTime" Video Plays*
"THANKS FOR GETTING ME IN CONTACT WITH ARTHUR! HE SEEMS LIKE A GREAT ADDITION TO THE
CLASS OF OTHERS WHO LOOK.......Well, a lot like him, actually. I haven't figured
that part out yet. Now, right before we get started with our expedition of education
here, we should really have a word with Arthur's Twin brother, Cornelious, just to
see what his thoughts on this matter are. TAKE IT AWAY, CORN!" - Teacher.
*"Twin Brother Speaks" Video Plays*
"Why yes, I do believe that it does stand to reason that birds are nature's synthesizers
or the equivalent in some way, shape, or form, for they produce something eerily similar
to the tone of a sine waveform oscillator coming from a synthesis engine. Where is this
synthesis engine sourced though? I have no idea. And now, back to my twin brother."
- Cornelious.
*"SchoolTime" Video Plays*
"Thank you for taking the time out of your very busy agenda to speak with us for a
moment, Cornelious! Wow, that was some incredibly enlightening information you have
given to us today! I doubt that my perspective on anything will ever be the same
as it was just 20 seconds ago! Alright, Arthur, it sounds to me like we have our
work cut out for us if we're going to determine why exactly a bird is just Nature's
natural Synthesizer!" - Teacher.
"Oh, Great Teacher Voice coming from no discernable area in space that surrounds me,
thank you VERY MUCH for your endeavor to instruct a scatter-minded oaf like myself!
I will heed all of the coming information and be sure to study hard for the exam!"
- Arthur.
Director Notes And Script/Dialogue copy and pasted from my notepad. Part 2:
"HO HO HO HO HOOOOOOOO!!!! Wow, what a hardy chuckle that implies delight at the
sight of such a poor- I MEAN, splendid attempt at comedy or humor! I don't recall
the last time I chuckled that deeply! Okie dokie, anchovies and balogna, withdraw
your writing utensil and/or device for literacy and pay very close attention to
what I'm about to say." - Teacher.
"With all due respect to you, Great Voice, what if I need the information to be
repeated?" - Arthur.
"NO NO NO NO!!!!! THAT WILL NOT DO. YOU MUST UNDER-" *Coughs violently* "Uhhhmmmm,
Ahem, I mean, yes, no, see, uh, we are very tight on time here today and have a
lot to cover in our lesson-plan, but I'm sure I could repeat what I say just....
once, yes." - Teacher.
"What if I need it repeated twice?" - Arthur.
"HOW WOULD THAT EVEN BE POSSIBLE UNLESS YOU JUST ARE NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION,
YOU FILTHY AND ABOMINABLE PIECE OF- I mean, uh, okay wow. WOW. Well, then, I
suppose that would be alright as well. Yes! I shall repeat this information
for you twice if need be! Just try VERY HARD to pay attention and comprehend.
Okie dokie, anchovies and balogna?" - Teacher.
"I don't know what that means, but okay. Okie dokie, anchovies and balogna!"
- Arthur.
"..........Ahhh........Yes......I see, well, I have a feeling that you are
going to be a very bright student of mine. Let's get started!"
- Teacher.
*"FL Studio Sine Waveform Osc" Video Plays*
"Now, pay very close attention to this screen, my boy. As you can clearly
see here on my screen, I have what is known to be a synthesizer generator
VST Plugin that is capable of oscillating frequencies of various shapes
and waveforms, but right now we're going to focus on-" - Teacher.
*"Arthur's Lost Interest" Video Plays*
"BORRRRINGGGGGG. LAMEEEEEEE. DULLLLLLLLL. I already knew all of that!
I know what a Synthesizer is and I know about oscillators and-" - Arthur.
*"FL Studio Sine Waveform Osc" Video Plays*
"SILENCE. You would do well to listen to my instruction, young man.
Now, continuing where I left off before I was so RUDELY INTERRUPTED
by one of those know-it-all smart- I MEAN, before my wonderful student
had a very important thought to point out! We are going to focus on a
SINE WAVEFORM Oscillator, which, as you might already be aware, just
produces a fundamental tone or frequency without any additional harmonics
happening in the higher end of the frequency spectrum, like what you might
see with a Sawtooth or Square waveform, for example. This is because most
birds I have come across in my very arcane and ancient timelessness and
spacelessness here on your bizarre planet just so happen to produce or
recreate a Sine waveform when they chirp or tweet! Isn't that just
PHENOMENAL???? DOESN'T THAT JUST GET YA EXCITED ABOUT LEARNING???"
- Teacher.
*"Arthur's Lost Interest" Video Plays*
"Yeah....Um, that's great. You sound insane, but please, just keep
going. I'm listening. Well, I'm trying my best to listen, anyway."
- Arthur.
*"SchoolTime" Video Plays*
"Yes, yes, yes....Insanity is the new sanity these days, after all.
Didn't ya know it was trending? Anyway, now where was I? OH YES,
let me just get back to page number 48 here.....Uhhh....Let's see,
Dogs being Digtal Audio Workstations. Nope, not that one. Cats
being Hardware or Software and System Bios updates. No, I already
went over that lesson with Cornelious, though. You should really
ask him about it some time. AHHHHHHHH, THERE IT IS. Birds Are
Nature's Synthesizers! Page 48. Now, we still have a lot of
information to cover and I do have a tendency to ramble, so be
sure you're writing every bit of this down." - Teacher.
"What was the entire first section again? I already forgot."
- Arthur.
*"Sinewave Bird" Video Plays*
"YOU, YOUUUUU, YOU WHAT?!?!?!? HOW?!?!?!? Ahem, I mean, um,
yes, that does seem to happen to all of us from time to time,
uhhhhh, I do believe that I could just briefly summarize a
lot of it though. All you need to know is that a synth plugin
in your DAW can produce tones and frequencies from a Sine
waveform oscillator that can be FURTHER modulated in ways that
sound like a bird or group of birds are all chirping! It just
depends on the number of Oscillators you have. Do you have
one or two oscillators?" - Teacher.
"I don't have any oscillators. I have a pencil though, sir."
- Arthur.
"THAT WAS RHETORICAL. YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER. I KNOW YOU
HAVE A PENCIL AND I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE AN OSCILLATOR RIGHT
NOW, BUT.....Say.....Could you do me a favor and whistle
real quickly?" - Teacher.
"Whistle? Like with my mouth?"
- Arthur.
"Yes, that would be the most effective way to produce the
sine waveform oscillator that I'm looking to hear. Go on.
Do it. Give us a good ole' whistle." - Teacher.
Director Notes And Script/Dialogue copy and pasted from my notepad. Part 3:
"Well, if you insist, I will make sure to do just that,
sir. This isn't for a grade, is it? I don't perform
very well under systematically structured and curriculum-
induced pressure." - Arthur.
"No, no, no, this is not for a grade. This is simply just
to help with demonstration purposes only. Lead the rest
of the class, Arthur. Go on. Give us all your best whistle!"
- Teacher.
*"The Rest Of The Class" Video Plays*
"Yessssssssssss, Arthur!!!! Lead USSSSSSSS!!!!!"
- A Bunch of random accumulations of costumes,
photoshop, etc.
*"SchoolTime" Video Plays*
"Well, okie dokie, anchovies and balogna then!
You all are just far too kind! Alright, here I
go!" - Arthur.
*"Arthur Emits Static Noise" Video Plays*
*Record Scratch Sample*
"STOP. ENOUGH. I HAVE HEARD ENOUGH! OKAY WOW,
UM, WE HAVE A LOT OF PROGRESS WE NEED TO MAKE.
I mean, uhhhhhhhh, it really wasn't TOO terrible
for a beginner, truly.....Uhhhhh, I think you
might have gotten the tone just a little bit....
Dare I say, sounding like Television static?
I don't intend to criticise you here, but wow,
that was not at all what I was expecting to
hear come out of your mouth just then." - Teacher.
"Oh.....Sorry....." - Arthur.
"It's alright! Just....Here.....Listen to mine."
- Teacher.
*Teacher whistles a sweet song with a very
easy-listening and classical music, orchestral
sounding instrumental playing in the background.*
"Did ya hear that, class? That is pretty close to
a real-life, humanistic and organic Sine waveform
oscillator. Now, try it out for yourselves! All
together now!" - Teacher.
"We've only just started, sir! Are you sure?"
- Class in unison.
"As guaranteed as bird seed, I am! Now, go on and
give it your best shot!" - Teacher.
"Well, alright. Here we go." - Class in unison.
* "Entire Dubstep Track Plays For 4 Seconds" Video Plays*
*Entire Dubstep track plays but for 4 seconds*
*Record Scratch Sample*
"NO. NO. NOPE. NOT THAT. STOP IT. WHAT WAS THAT?
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING, YOU GROUP OF UTTER
BAFOO- I mean, um.....Wow, that sounded a bit like
the year 2011. Have you heard of that year, by any
chance? The music changed forever. How did you all
actually manage to pull that off so quickly? What?
It makes no sense to me. We're still on........
Sine Waveforms.......Ughhhhhhhh, well done. All
of you. At least you can MAKE the SUB BASS,
but none of you have figured out how to ONLY
HAVE THE SUB BASS ITSELF. Now, take a sub
bass and transpose it up several octaves,
please. You'll be much closer to a whistling sound
once we add in some vibrato or pitch modulation
of some sort, especially if we route the pitch to
a Low Frequency Oscillator, or 'LFO' as it is often
abbreviated. We could even throw in an envelope
generator, for good measure!" - Teacher.
"We don't have a sub bass, sir. We only have
pencils. It's all that you gave us." - Arthur.
"WOULD YOU JUST.....AGHHHHH, FINE. YES. YOU
ARE CORRECT. I DID NOT GIVE ANY OF YOU A
DIGITAL AUDIO WORKSTATION FOR THIS BEFORE
WE BEGAN." - Teacher.
"We don't have any computers either." - Arthur.
"YES, RIGHT. I REALIZE THAT NOW. Okay wow,
um, let's see here. Maybe this would just
be easier if I pulled up some pictures
of some birds for a demonstration instead."
- Teacher.
*"Pictures Of Birds" Video Plays*
"Okie dokie, anchovies and balogna!" - Class
in Unison.
"WAIT. STOP THAT. WHY ARE ALL OF YOU SAYING
THAT NOW??? ONLY I COULD-" - Teacher.
"Sir, you encouraged us to start saying it
too." - Arthur.
".........Right......Well, um, moving on
with our lecture now. Let's just skip
from page 48 to page 65. It's a very long
segment to cover and you all seem to be
much brighter than I initially realized." - Teacher.
"Oh, many sincere thanks and words of appreciation
for that comment, Great Voice!" - Class in unison.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, don't let it get to your
heads now, okay? Wait a minute, how come the
entire class just looks like a bunch of you,
but dressed up in different clothing, Arthur?
I thought that only your brother, Cornelious,
could do that." - Teacher.
"Cornelious is all around us at all times,
oh Great Voice Teacher. We do not know how
he manages it." - Arthur.
Director Notes And Script/Dialogue copy and pasted from my notepad. Part 4:
"...........You've reminded me why I just
shouldn't have even asked you that question,
okay wow. Um, okay so, now moving right along
and skipping to page 65 here, we can clearly
see that many Blue And Red Jays are birds which
whistle a clean, clear, pure sounding fundamental
tone or frequency that is a sine waveform without
any additional harmonic frequency content
happening in the higher end of the spectrum.
If you heard a bird out in nature that made
a Sawtooth or Square waveform, you would be
able to tell, but it would just....be very
much out of the ordinary. A Bird with a
square oscillator waveform, for example,
would just sound like its call or chirping
tone has been pushed through distortion
or saturation in order to achieve that
sound instead of its pure fundamental
Sine wave tone." - Teacher.
"SIR! HI SIR! I'M RAISING MY HAND! PLEASE
ASK ME WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY! PLEASE!"
- Arthur.
".......Yes.....Ahhh, you again, Arthur.
Yes, please, do feel free to go ahead
and ask your question which you seem so
EAGERLY PREPARED TO INTERRUPT THE-
I MEAN enlighten us with! Yes, please do
enlighten the rest of the class with
your incredibly important question that
you have so dilligently raised your hand
in order to ask!" - Teacher.
"Oh, many thanks to you, sir. Many thanks,
indeed. Yes, I was just going to ask what
the probability of a bird sounding like a
Square, Pulse, Noise, Triangle, Sawtooth,
Frequency Modulated, Ring Modulated, or
Wavetable Oscillated waveform might be?
What is the likelyhood that I might
encounter such a sound in nature?"
- Arthur.
"Why, UM, WELL, YOU SEE.....THAT.....
Wow, Arthur, now why did you have to
go and ask me a question like that
one? Way to really stump the teacher
here. I MEAN, there are no stupid
questions, after all! I just hope I
don't give you a stupid answer!"
- Teacher.
*"Arthur Beaming Brightly" Video Plays*
"Oh, Great Voice Teacher, there are
no stupid answers!" - Arthur.
*"Pictures Of Birds" Video Plays*
"HO HO HO HO HOOOOO!!!!! MY BOY, I DO
BELIEVE I HAVE CHUCKLED ONCE AGAIN."
- Teacher.
"I do believe you have as well, sir.
I do believe you have as well, indeed!"
- Arthur.
"Right, right, right, don't ruin the
moment though. Okay, now to attempt
to answer your question, I believe
that......could very well be a
possibility within the numerous
realms of possibilities here."
- Teacher.
"I think so too, Great Teacher
Voice, sir! After all, have
you heard a crow or a finch?
They do not sound like pure
sine waveform oscillators
when they chirp! They tend
to sound closer to FM,
RM, or Wavetable synthesis!"
- Arthur.
"WELL, OKIE DOKIE, ANCHOVIES
AND BALOGNA, MR. I KNOW WAY
MORE THAN THE TEACHER VOICE
KNOWS HERE. PLEASE, GO AHEAD.
TEACH THE WHOLE CLASS, WHY
DON'T YOU?" - Teacher.
"Ohhhhhhh, thank you so very
much for this fantastic
opportunity, sir, but I will
sadly have to decline your
offer. You see, I have to
go and have lunch with
Cornelious at 4:00 PM.
It's a brotherly tradition
that we eat lunch every single
day at 4:00 PM. I simply would
not miss it. Even for this."
- Arthur.
"WAIT. ARTHUR. WHY ARE YOU
EATING LUNCH AT 4:00 PM?
WHAT IS......WHAT ARE.....
Alright, well, uhhhhhhh,
I suppose I would not want
to intervene with such a
religious ritual that you
two seem to share. By all
means, leave the classroom,
but I cannot guarantee that
you will pass the exam."
- Teacher.
"With all due respect again,
Great Teacher Voice, sir, I
thought that you said previously
that we wouldn't be graded for
this?" - Arthur.
"I SAID YOU WOULD NOT BE GRADED
FOR THE ATTEMPT AT A BIRD WHISTLE.
YOU STILL HAVE AN EXAMINATION
COMING UP." - Teacher.
"Sir, I spoke with the rest of
my peers here who all happen to
just look a whole lot like me
and Cornelious, and we all
happen to agree that 1.
This course and the criteria
required to graduate have been
made incredibly unclear to
us and we just don't know how
to know what we need in order
to graduate and what we don't
need. Also, 2, apparently everyone
else in the class has a 4:00 PM
lunch appointment with their
brother, Cornelious, as well!
I wouldn't want any of us to
miss this!" - Arthur.
*Blank Screen*
"And so, Arthur and his new peers from the Bird
classroom decided to go meet their brother, Cornelious,
for the 4:00 PM Lunch Appointment that was simply far
too imperative to miss. The Great and nameless teacher
voice felt a little bit sad, but all was well and then the
credits song played. The end." - Narrator.
* "Credits" Video plays*
*Credits song plays for about a minute.
Camera is on all of the class eating together
at the resturant while the Teacher is singing
in Brinz Tooth's voice. He is singing about
how he only wants to teach people about birds
being synthesizers and making sine waveforms
but how everyone just wants to go eat lunch
with Cornelious instead.*
Soundtrack/OST mix will be uploaded later today!
RiP Robert, I didn't really understand alot of it but good job!
Thank you. He's the kind of man that if you had met him, he would have stayed with you for the rest of your life. Very cool guy. He was always a leader and a bit of a comic by heart. Best camp director we could have ever had, by far. He was also our lifeguard as well. He was the one who first allowed me to pass the swimming test so I could finally swim in the 9 ft. part of the pool lol. Again, I just really wish I had gotten this video finished while he was still here. I wanted him to see it. I think it would have made him laugh and probably also shake his head at the same time.
Time-Stamps:
00:00 - In Memory Of Rob Blanchard
00:15 - Disclaimer
00:20 - A Ludicrous And Ridiculous Walk In The Morning
2:51 - Opening Theme Song
3:58 - Classroom Lecture (Part 1)
12:09 - Intermission And Commercial Break
13:32 - Classroom Lecture (Part 2)
21:53 - Credits Theme Song
I've pinned the Script/Dialogue and the direction notes as a pinned comment and it is in 4 separate parts/comments. It was A REALLY LONG script. If you wish to follow along through the script, It's pinned here in the comments! Just look for the replies to the pinned comment and you will find the other 3 parts of the script.
Cinema
iPhone camera and poor lighting for green screen = big budget box office hit! No, but seriously, the ideas were all there, for sure lol. I hope you enjoyed it and that it was also informative at the same time! I feel like I went on a lot of tangents anyway.
Brain rot
It absolutely is a testament to just how much brain rot I have endured in the nearly 30 or so years of existing as a person. I'm somehow managing on half a brain cell now at this point lol.