How Immigrant Parents Train their Children to be Poor & Hardworking for Others' Benefit.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- In order to break the cycle of poverty, lack, low-self esteem, exploitative humility, and limitations we must learn from the source of shame and transform them to our benefit through creativity, courage, and new perspectives.
You deserve to have all the beautiful things in the world and be handsomely paid for exactly what you are passionate and skilled at-not to just labor away for some higher up or organization because you saw that as your only example.
Article Mentioned by David Lu: open.substack....
EVERY RULE HAS EXCEPTIONS; BE EXCEPTIONAL.
IG: @la_princesse_des_beauxarts
I wish you a beautiful life! Much love xoxo
#immigrant #hardwork #blocks #spirituality #mindset #manifestation #magic
Chinese-Canadian child (artist and art student) of immigrant parents here and OMG do we have the same parents or what? I used to paint and draw when I lived in China as a little girl, but that all went to shit when we immigrated and I was led to believe I could no longer do that because it was useless in their eyes.
My biggest tension is also with my father, who is raised on fear and raised me on the sole principle of FEAR. I so wish I could see it with as much clarity as you when I was younger and put up that spiritual shield to fend off the negativity. It took physical distancing to actually see how fk'd up that all was. The longer I stay away from my parents, the more that I come to sudden realizations throughout the days that wow, I have internalized so much of their fear-driven risk-averse toxicity. And it is so painful initially.
Do you have an art page? I’d love to see your work. 😯
I can relate since I grew up butting heads with my mom when it came to my future. I also pursued an education in the arts. She didn’t see it as very stable or practical like becoming a doctor or lawyer, but I still went with what I could see myself doing. Now that I’m older & I secured a design job, all of that went away. But I’m sure that she still worries. Parents at the end of the day want what they THINK is best for you. But it may not be the best thing FOR you. Keep marching to the beat of your own drum.
I haven't even watched the video, and I agree. they precondition us
🤣I was going to comment the same thing as I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Then you get the blame, resentment and shame when you’re unable to attain their definition of success. Meanwhile you’re essentially trying to figure out how to operate in western society on your own.
Don’t take advice from people whose lives you don’t admire or wish to emulate - it’s so true! Likewise, don’t be swayed by their criticism; their opinions hold no weight in your life, especially when you have no desire to be like them.
Thank you, my parents are the same, I didn't notice this until I started working, my dad wanted me to get into a dead end career where I don't make an awful lot of money so I will come back home and help them out when they get older. Asian parents are extremely narcissistic and thinking that their children owe them for their existence.
It's a big cultural difference too! Both sides are both correct in ways and deeply flawed--community/humility vs. independence/individuality 🩵
This is so true. My working class immigrant parent literally worked to death. How do I break the cycle? The only way they say is to study hard and get a better job. Thank you for explaining what many go through but are unable to verbalise.
From a Haitian American …. All of this is so similar! I swear we are all learning.
They teach us to be good subordinates
We teach what we learn unless we choose to challenge an un beneficial system :)
A lot of white people also had boomer parents who told them to go to the best universities and do law, civil engineering and medicine. I agree with everything you said, but remember a lot of people are poor nowdays, not just immigrants. A lot of people are working mundane shitty jobs while recruiters, landlords, mortgage brokers and bankers do almost nothing.
A lot of white people are also immigrants.
I'm not even an immigrant, but I was adopted from Russia (found on the streets at age 3) and I can say I hold these beliefs. I have boomer parents so it has always been about having a job that pays well and if your credit score is good than if you're actually happy and living a satisfying life. working hard to get a promotion doesn't work anymore and i don't have the social skills to manipulate to the top. (which i realize is my own limiting beliefs) i found out recently that my dad thought i was gen z, which i was like "that doesn't even make sense" (my dad bought me britney spears cds when she was in her prime and i remember sneaking downstairs early in the morning to watch mtv music videos on the tv)
Also don't forget the crappy guilt trip that immigrant try to put you on that if you don't do this I'm going to die and it's going to be your fault LOL
What really helped me overcome resentment was perspective -- understanding if we knew better, we would be better. 🩵
@@la_princesse_des_beauxarts well then your a better person then me, me and my parents just resent each other, and over what???? Over propoganda that they can't bring themselves to admit they fell for. And now I'm having to pay for their mistakes.
yupp and the "fine do what you want, go be poor and sorry and ruin your life for all I care" just for daring to have a single unique thought or idea that isn't parent-approved.
Thank you for this
This video is INSANE, and I mean this in the best way. I've felt these things my whole life as a child of immigrant parents but could never put them into words the way that you do so well. I'm working on reframing my mindset these days and planning to move (hopefully to another country) soon. I'll definitely check out your other videos soon, but if you have any more thoughts on how to overcome limiting mindsets and pushing to the next level of life, I would so love to hear more dialogue like this from you! Sending much love and abundance!
Thank you for this beautiful message ; feedback like this is my best motivation. Once I realized other people are just operating the best they can with what they know, I released a lot of shame and resentment holding me back. I understand that the more I liberate and empower myself, the more I can do so for others ❤️
Also, if you don’t already know, you’re an INFP 🤭
I disagree with you. I’m an immigrant myself and I trained my children to do the best they possibly could. And they all 3 of my sons become very successful doctors and I am very proud of them all. I am 63 now and I’m retired and have been doing well financially. Thank God for my journey..❤life is short and make the best decision possible for happiness in your own way.
Excellent advice. Love your top and excitement of your stella mccartney lol.
This is so true my parents sucks.
They don't know better! You do :)
In a way , it’s true . Basically your parents sacrificed for you to have a mind set to think out side of the box . If you can use the creativity and achieve success that’s great. But there will be a big portion of people even with the creativity they have . They still can’t make ends meet or have a comfortable life. When you have a family, as your parents they are faced with uncertainty and hurdles non immigrants don’t need to face. They don’t have generational wealth accumulated in the new country. When the economy is not good, it will be hard for them to find a job . That’s why they don’t waste money. You as the second generation, you are shielded from the reality of the life , so it’s natural for you to have the version of your opinion as you witness from your other rich friends how they live. What will be interesting is to see every 10 years of opinion changes. As the timing of the immigration also makes a difference in opinions. The new immigrants from China will less likely behave the same pattern as your parents’s generation because they come out when China is rich. So the social economic class and of the country will impact how people behave . When the economy is good and jobs are secure . People will be more opportunistic when the economy is bad, jobs are hard to find then people will try to save and spend less . It’s not just because they are immigrates. It happen to people who are non immigrants and in different countries.
Not sure your message had a point. The “reality of life” is more than making ends meet and to have rainy day funds. This is the exact kind of fear-driven notion generations pass down. It does not fuel creativity nor “achieve success”, it makes one trade free spirit for the illusion of stability, and it is not to say that it’s wrong, it’s a different value system. But the world is not just black or white, give people the grace that you can be practical but also try to fulfill your own purpose in life. Only then can we create future healthy generations. To claim that children of immigrants are modeling their mindset after “rich friends” is truly questionable on your part.
i appreciate your ability to communicate
Thank you for making this video 👍🏼 my dad is Mexican and grew up on the farm until Him and my mom moved to the U.S, and they both didn’t finished school but they’re the most hardworking individuals I grew up around. But it’s really hard to talk to my dad about why I spend so much time on my laptop. He doesn’t see the benefit of technology just yet but I hope for the better in the future.
It's not your duty to make sense to everyone else 🩵
Rich people are in debt that’s true, but at the same time they have lots of assets they can sell.
So if you go into debt for something it needs to be something valuable.
I think the hard thing sometimes is to recognize what’s it really valuable.
Not every luxury thing will make a return….
If you can afford something always try to for the best you afford or little bit higher if possible.
Sorry for going off topic ~
Thank You!!! I keep saying, "Price and Value are two different things" 🩵
While Dave Lu's work is great, but he has his horses the wrong way around.
Racehorses that do not have enough success by three are discarded, many slaughtered, as there are plenty more being bred. Even for victors, their entire active lives are regimented and it's not uncommon to drug them to maintain them being productive plaything for the wealthy. Entire industries have grown around trying to make rehoming and retraining racehorses more profitable than slaughter. They are not exploring their creativity.
Many people invest in and greatly care for workhorses. Not only are there are obvious benefits - a well cared for animal can work more efficiently and for longer and a good workhorse is very difficult to replace - many care for their animals. Some pamper them to the point advice is going around about how to prevent conditions related to obesity as people give more and higher quality feed is developed, even as feed prices continue to rise with inflation. Farmers and others who use horses for work care and consider the needs of the animals as individuals more than those playing games with them.
This video spoke to me a lot! Thank you! Subscribed.
can you please do a chinese translation of this so I can show this to my parents and get ur message out there. this is gold
My Chinese is not yet at the level to do so, but if you go check out David Lu's Substack articles "How the Immigrant Scarcity Mindset Holds Us Back", etc. (They're all EXCELLENT) you can probably put them through a translator and have a good result !
(I linked one of his artcles I referenced in the description) 🩵
Omg 😭
aren't immigrants the richest
It really depends on how you use your circumstances !
You can be rich in status and money, but still poor in energy/vitality and free time. She mentions this in the video, too. E.g. people who really pushed themselves to become doctors, neglecting their own desires/talents, simply out of survival fear and in order to satisfy their parents, who are also driven by fear (workhorse mindset)
lol no
There are working class immigrants too!
I disagree with you. Never looked down on anyone…Everyone should be different and I am Chinese so I’m immigrant myself and I trained my children to do the best they possibly could. And they all 3 of my sons become very successful doctors and I am very proud of them all. I am 63 now and I’m retired and have been doing well financially. Thank God for my journey..❤
Everyone has their own mind and thinking’s… So if I can Give anyone an advice and make your life’s easier do the best you can and live your dream in the moment and be happy with yourself and the people around especially those who love you and love your children, don’t let money define you or anyone in your life’s, paid off your house your car before you are 50 years old. Try to retire when you’re 55 Years old. Then you can go travel and enjoy your retirement’s
Uh, lack of self-awareness much?! Of course you disagree, since you are precisely the type of parents she is criticizing here. Hopeless. I also know Chinese children of parents like yourself who are "successful doctors" because they were "trained" to, like you aptly put. They can also be horribly depressed and suffer in their souls for this path imposed on them: imposed simply because they happen to have good grades, but they may also happen to love art, poetry, and music. This kind of suffering imposed by parents on children is something you and countless Chinese parents your age do not have the emotional maturity to comprehend.
Why should anyone wait til they are 55 to travel and live their life?! Do you not see how narrow your world view is. Retire that view. You may have given birth to your children, yet, your children do not BELONG to you. Children belong to themselves. You and the future generation are from different worlds.
Still need to finish watching but after the first few minutes it seems as if you don’t realize that your parents chose the safe route to make sure you could sit around and make videos complaining about them being scared of failure. It’s next to impossible to make a living as a creative and the idea of “being an artist” in western society is just a social construct created so some people could make themselves seem superior. Most things we call “art” now were actually items that served some sort of purpose beyond mere aesthetics, usually spiritual or religious so in the west where most people are atheist or have no religious or spiritual practices, the “art” has no real purpose BUT marketing products to be sold. So I’m sure your parents did not want to stop pursuing their creativity but until you have a house and a family and a job, as well as the knowledge and lived experience of non-western culture, you won’t understand what would make an artist stop practicing their art. So my unsolicited advice which is also my own personal mission is to: understand the true role of creativity in our human lives beyond financial gain and integrate it in order to enrich your life and in turn the people around you such as your family, friends and community.
Interesting that you presume I don't do that already, but thank you :)
@@la_princesse_des_beauxartslol that’s all you have to say🤣🤣I’m not trying to be negative but it’s just that you and others making observations like this remind me of myself when I was younger and hadn’t experienced and learned enough about life to have the full picture. It’s clear that you’re trying to figure it out though and I made my comment so others watching this and reading can get another perspective. You’re using a lot of magical buzz words but ultimately you’re doing the same exact thing as the big corporations which is using your creative output to sell people things they don’t need. Like the bullshit ads on your videos that you’re gaining revenue from. Keep thinking on it though 👍🏾
But person on the internet who never gave her even the watch time of this video, not to mention all these presumptions: she did not only sit around to complain about them. She refused her parents' scarcity mentality, studied French, forged her own path and left the USA, studied in a top arts school in Paris of all places in the world, and is currently an artist. That's not nothing. This is more you projecting than anything. And what is with the hostile personal attacks on this young artist whose personal experience clearly resonated with a lot of children of immigrants.
Found the Boomer that’s triggered by this video.
exactly i have a successful freelance career and parents will still be like go get real job work min wage an hour
Power to You 🩵 also the fish emoji is PRECIOUS