My husband passed away and I cried over many things for a year. A loss of any kind is hard. You sharing is healthy. I adore your vlogs. BTW, my dog has chicken allergies too..lol
People sometimes talk about the grieving process like it's a straight line, but it really isn't. It comes in waves. You may wake up perfectly fine then something familiar will hit different...and you'll feel like you're back in the thick of it again. I think the best way to handle those times is to acknowledge them, allow yourself to feel what you need to feel in that moment, learn what you can from it, and let it go. There's no schedule on grief. Eventually, those little moments won't happen as often or sting as much. Believe that.
I’m loving that you are currently at the stage of even considering a “date night” shirt... even if it’s for some arbitrary date in the unknown future. Girl, that is progress.
Going out to eat, seeing a movie, visiting a museum or driving to a different town on my own is fabulous. I'm retired but my hubby isn't. Even before getting married I did a lot of things on my own. When I was in my early twenties I decided to visit all the capital cities here in Australia. I've been to all of them except Darwin. Far too hot for me up there! Having seen them on my own meant the time was mine. See what you like. Do what you like. History is facinating to me so being able to enjoy old gaols and convict sites was brilliant. Bored relatives or friends weren't an issue. And as you've found, when your alone other people are more comfortable talking with you because they aren't 'interrupting'. I've had facinating, funny and insightful conversations with people I've never met before. I think you are doing extremely well!
You are my new favorite comfort youtuber 😘. About the eating alone- I did that a couple times when I was single, and I started out with something not as intimidating like Panera. Then I worked up to a more casual sports grill type place, then I went to what people would consider a “fancier” restaurant. The waiter was so impressed with me when I told him I was there by myself, and he treated me like a queen the whole night. It was lovely! I hope you do that and vlog it!
I remember going to lunch by myself in college it always felt less intimidating if I was in between errands and I’d bring a book or sketchbook and I’d talk to the servers
After my divorce, every Friday I'd take a hot bath with bubbles. I'd light a candle, turn off big light, put on calming music and have a glass of wine. I loved Friday nights. PS: Keep talking about what you are feeling. It'll help you and possibly others.
I was so scared to eat alone until I just started doing it!! I know it's intimidating but honestly I wore my airpods and just people watched, took my time eating, tipped well and had a great time!
Oh my goodness I feel you with the prescriptions. We still use the same small town pharmacy and when the lady asked if I’d like to grab his prescription with mine and I choked up and shyly said “no”. I cried the whole way home. We can do hard things girl. God has us in his wonderful hands.
Bring a book when you get a table for one!! It gives you something to read if you're feeling awkward or bored, and when other people see it, they usually assume no one else is joining you :)
thank you for posting so regularly and talking about your feelings so candidly :) i'm in a very similiar situation to yours (same age, christian, 6 year relationship ended) and your videos are a highlight of my day 100%.
I can completely relate to your comment about your prescription and Pasadena. I lost my mom in November and random things like that make me sad. Things like I’ll never go to our favorite Greek restaurant again with my mom or the last time I came to BLANK was with my mom. I could go on and on. I am also separated from my husband. Divorce will be coming soon. Very hard couple of years. 😢. You are doing amazing. It will get better ❤️🩹 🙏🏼
Hi Michel! I had multiple miscarriages last year, and while our losses are different, I love seeing you do things for yourself and focus on you. It’s so inspiring and has helped me relate to you as I’m also walking through a life situation I wasn’t expecting and am having to seek out joy right now! Thanks for all you do 🤍
My dog is also allergic to chicken and always throws up. I feel badly because he loves it so much. In Chinese Medicine they believe feeding you dog neutral or cooling meats is best. If your dog has allergies, itchy skin, rashes, hot ears, pants a lot or sits in the shade, it could be a sign they are a more hot/warm dog and they may do better on cooling or neutral meats like Beef, Turkey or Pork so that’s what I do and it works with my little pupper :)
Sadness is sneaky. In hospice, I would explain the sneaky sadness as “grief bursts”. Unexpected, usually happens in the most random ways and the weirdest of places.
^^^^This for sure!! Love ya Michel. So the fancy dinner thing. I am very intimidated by it. My grandma used to do it. I am just not brave enough. I would order take out and go pick it up. You are doing so well, you got this. Hugs
@@simplygina7703 He probably did! We had his books at the hospice I worked at, and I went to one of his talks on grief. After ten years working in mental health you collect so much information you sometimes lose the source of it.
@@heathersmith9237 sorry didn’t mean it in like a know-it-all way lol that book just really helped me after my dad passed from cancer. My family benefitted tremendously from amazing mental health resources, so thank you for what you do!!
@@simplygina7703 oh no- I didn’t take it that way at all! It’s nice you brought up his name and reminded me. :) I’d been filling a cart with some books to read and have on hand (if I suggest a book to a client I always try to refresh/skim it over) and now I’ve added a few of his to the list. I’m so happy his stuff was helpful to you and that you have had good mental health support. ❤️
Don't worry about over sharing, we are all human and experiences the same emotions at some time in our lives! It is not only therapeutic for you to share but it is also therapeutic for us to help us process our own emotions and not feel alone!!! You have no idea how much your honesty during this time is helping so many of us get thru difficult times in our own lives. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are independent and most importantly you are kind and loving. This door closing has opened up so many other doors for you.... explore them, enjoy them. Use this opportunity to discover more about yourself, be happy and do all the things you have always wanted to do but could not as your ex was holding you back from so many amazing opportunities in life. Sorry that was so long winded, but I was in your EXACT situation and I have now found the love of my life, started a family and am extremely happy. You can do it too! Relax, don't be so hard on yourself, let go of all the worries about your video content and just be open and honest. Anyone who has a problem with that can X out if the video and leave their opinions to themselves!!!!
I regularly do meals out myself, cinema trips alone and even a few days away myself - love it. I'm married 31yrs this year, with 21 and 28 yr old girls but love the freedom of choosing to do things I love. So do your meals out and celebrate going to wherever you want xxx
I am two years past divorce and the first time I went into Lowe's without my husband I almost burst out crying. So yeah, the smallest things can set it off.
@@blueseptember2174 I absolutely think they do. Likely less outwardly emotional, but they still have feelings-even if they don’t share them. A common way for some men who are depressed is to act out with anger.
I use to feel awkward when I did things by myself. I have to say, I love it now. I go to movies alone, shopping, out to eat, I have even gone to dance classes alone, hoping to find a partner, which I did. Being along I think is a good thing, it means you enjoy being with you. I am also at an age where I really do not care what people think of me. So there is that. This time in my life has seriously been the best time of my life. I am almost 50, my daughter is grown, married and I have a grandson who is 6. I am single and have been for 9 years. I love that you push yourself to be uncomfortable, it is a true sign of growth. Good job Michel!! Keep stepping out of your comfort zone, you will be amazed how great life really is.
Heck yeah, go out to eat by yourself! I would always bring a book, just in case things got slow. Or eat at the bar!! Even though you don't drink, I had the most amazing conversations with strangers eating at the bar. Don't worry about what other people think, live your life!
You're never alone when you have a dog. I have been a widow for 15 years and I sometimes get hit by all sorts of emotions but, since I've got my Labradoodle, I always feel like I have a friend. My kids are 24 and 17 and doing their own thing but Coco always wants to be with me. She's allergic to all meats except fish (if you call that a meat.)
Most restaurants (even really nice ones) have a bar, we actually like sitting at the bar and chatting with the bartender. If I’m going out alone that’s where I’ll be 😊
I don't like the way some people act about going out on your own. I mean, it used to make me nervous but now..I absolutely love it. I tell anyone who will listen that single or not, you should do it. Sometimes it's nice to just be by yourself! 🥰
I used to travel for work 50% of my time. I ate alone at restaurants all the time. You will get used to it!! Eating alone doesn’t have to mean you are alone. Sadness waves always come with loss and change. This too will pass is a great thing to tell yourself.
I've eaten alone at nice restaurants more times than I can count (including Valentine's Day). Personally I LOVE it! It's great people watching, I tend to get better service, and I enjoy the food more because I'm focusing on it rather than conversation. I'm sorry you overheard an (unintentially) upsetting comment but trust me, 99% of people at the restaurant won't care or notice that you're alone. It's a really empowering feeling experience IMO so I hope you go through with it!
Girl I’m married and I still do lunch dates with table reservation by myself there’s something refreshing just sitting there enjoying yourself and silence and I like to people watch so I enjoy it lol
I can’t handle eating alone in a restaurant, I feel way too awkward. 😅 The last time I traveled I ordered nice Italian take out & ate in my hotel room. That being said, never hurts to try it out. If it’s terrible, you never have to do it again. ☺️
I hope you don't take this in the wrong way, because I only wish you happiness in life. But it has been amazing to see you find yourself over this season you are going through. I feel like you had lost your identity a bit, but you have come back as the strong and original woman that I engaged with a few year ago! I just left a long term relationship, and seeing you find yourself again has driven me to find myself again and I've never been happier. Thank you for sharing your journey, because it can't be easy. But you really see helping people.
I didnt have a divorce or breakup, but I moved out of the town I lived in for 22 years. I go to visit my parents and see businesses that have been painted differently, or one of my favorite restaurants that closed makes me SO sad, especially since I didn't know RIGHT away. This year I went to the street fair that I always went to until I was like 16 (always worked weekends) and it was so exciting but also a little sad. I ran into some good friends from high school and one kept saying "you're welcome to come over any time" and it broke my heart that I wasn't 5 minutes away and I didn't have the heart to tell her I probably couldn't.
One of the alternatives to getting for a table for one (especially if I'm doing errands or am on a lunch break for work) will be just to sit at the bar. I know that you avoid alcohol, but, to me, bar seating is much more flexible, and people are less judgy about if you're there alone. Just a tip! :)
I've always been single and I've always enjoyed it. It can be a lot of fun going alone to places. You don't have to compromise, do things for other people, you get to be completely selfish and do whatever you want!
I'm 38 and I eat by myself at cafe's and restaurants all the time. I've never had a partner though (I'm neurodiverse and just haven't found dating a priority/or the right person) so it could be different for me. And I just love eating out, if I want to ain't noone gonna stop me. I do get looked at, but I'm learning more and more over time to be unapologetic for other people's judgement, because sometimes my autistic ticks can be noticeable, and I can't change that, just like right here and now you can't change being single. Live your life and push that inner strength to the outside. You can do anything you set your mind to, especially in this time when you're free to make more choices on your own. *big heart hands*
Michel! I haven’t commented in awhile, but want you to know that whenever your videos pop up, I’m torn between saving them up to binge them or watching immediately 😂 love all the song recommendations - this one was super fun! ☀️
Our dog ) a pure breed border collie) was allergic to chicken. He presented with ear infections as a puppy. We changed him to a salmon and potato based dry dog food and he lived to be 14 years old we lost him 1 year ago. Our bet told us it's pretty common. Totally switching topics...I love your vlogs and just hanging out with you. I love how you always end your videos and I wanted to wish you the best rest of your day and I will be trying very hard to wait for your next vlog! I see an incredible change in you already, even with the hard days. You have been so strong and brave and so glad that you are surrounded with love and supoort. 🥰
I have always felt self conscious sitting in a restaurant by myself and I’m 70!!!!!! I really love your channel so much I do respect you stepping out of your comfort zone.❤️
I love doing lunches in a restaurant. I will do it alone no problem and then order a dinner for later. But I would have no problem doing a dinner alone as well, probably sitting at the bar to eat so I didn't take a table up for the waitress. 💕
I'm married, but my husband is gone for work travel often. I take myself out to dinner, table for 1 at least once a week while he's gone. I would not be embarrassed to do it at all! It's so nice to have a break from not doing dishes and to just treat yourself 😁 also you don't have to compromise on where to go for dinner bc it's just you!
Way to go Michel. You are going out of your comfort zone. Going to the gym, park or a thrift store is healing. Thank you for sharing. You are helping me of us who feel lonely and sad.
Uptown Cheapskate is amazing and has items that are so your style! You can also sell to them when you get tired of your clothing. They have several in DFW as well!
My husband was in Japan for work for a couple months and I would eat at restaurants alone. I would always bring a book with me so it looked a lot more intentional than just sitting there scrolling through my phone.
When I go to a restaurant or coffee shop by myself I either take a book along or a notebook/journal to write in. I enjoy both reading and writing in cafes, but it also makes it clear that I’m choosing to be there by myself. Sadness is sneaky. It waits until your defenses are down before sneaking up to wrap itself around you. Good for you sticking with feeling and processing your feelings as they come up!
I moved into my apartment living alone and my dad just left today. Super excited but super nervous for the journey ahead. Watching your vlogs of your solo dates gives me confidence to venture out. I think tomorrow I’ll take myself out and explore time :) I also really want to sign up for Pilates again bc like you xD my best motivator is to not waste money on the classes I pay for haha. Sending lots of love!!
I think it's a good idea to go to dinner by yourself all dolled up. Glad you are making new friends and being spontaneous. Share as much as you feel comfortable. We accept you in any amount. Love you.
Yes I have done lunch/dinner and even a movie solo a few times. I think it’s something good to experience, even if it’s a bit out of our comfort zone. Bring a book or notebook to set on the table seemed to help.
Where did you buy the beanie? I love it. Also, I enjoy eating alone. It's peaceful. I like to read, research things for home decorating on my phone, and just eat. I love how you are getting out and taking care of yourself. When I got a divorce I stayed home and didn't take care of myself. That was a lesson in what not to do. The best thing I did was to learn from my mistakes, and do better. 24 hours to enjoy in this day and I intend to do so 😊
Sadness is normal as long as it doesn't stick around for long. The older you get you experience sadness more because you've lived through more of life. I'm 66. Now I realize that I have much to be grateful for. Things could of been alot worse, compared to what others go through. Now I can help others that are going through perhaps what I have gone through. I've fallen in pretty deep holes. But my faith has helped me climb back out, many times.
I haven't done that much in 3 months. Lol. But, I am an introvert and prefer the company of no one. I get anxious when more than one person is around me. I am glad you are getting out and trying new things. Yes, go eat alone. Yes, go to a movie alone and yes it is ok too to feel lonely.
You are still going through the grieving process. The 7 stages of grief Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings. Pain and guilt. ... Anger and bargaining. ... Depression. ... The upward turn. ... Reconstruction and working through. ... Acceptance and hope. Until you go through each of these, they will creep up! You cant skip any because they need to happen. OXOX
Watch Hope Floats. There is a scene where he says it takes a brave person to go out and eat alone. That the key is to make it look like it is your choice. Whenever I do it I take my journal to write or bring something to read
I moved and never went back to my old places..I walk with my dogs there And also looked at photos and thought I will never walk there again…how sad..for 24 years I walked there and it’s all over 🥲
Yes, the sneaky sadness is definitely a thing! To me, it’s all an extension of mourning. Mourning last things, last times, even if it’s just something that seems small and insignificant. I guess it’s our brain’s way of putting things to rest so we can move forward and gain closure, which means we have to recognize the thing now “lost” or “dead” to us to do so. But it’s definitely weird when and how it can hit you, when least expected. You’re not alone. I see you, Michel. Praying for you! 🙏🏻
In college I remember HATING the idea of doing anything alone. But then I got my own place and lived alone for a while and found it relaxing. Now as a mom of a toddler, supper somewhere cute alone is MAGICAL.
New subscriber! Really appreciate you sharing even when it's hard and you're not sure. I've done table for 1 many times. Sometimes I felt okay about it and sometimes it feel awkward. A lot of times I would take my dog then I never felt alone but then he passed away. I definitely feels waves of sadness but try hard to push forward everyday. You are very relatable to many. You seem like a really sweet person and very pretty. Also loving your dog Max!! He makes me smile. 🙂🐾
Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with us 💕 I don't think it has been oversharing, but most importantly is how you feel about it. I think it would only be oversharing if it's something your're not ready or don't want to share, if there is something you want to do or feel like you need to share, do it ❤️ I also like this quote by Angel Kyodo Williams, "give yourself permission to be uncomfortable and to make others uncomfortable in your truth" Lots of love!
I love dining by myself. I can pick whatever I want from the menu. I can take my time, no need to rush. I don't have to share my food with my husband or toddler. I bring my kindle with me or read the newspaper. My advice, for anyone who is anxious about it, would be to start with Sunday brunch or lunch. Or even sitting down with a coffee. I always feel so much better after having some time to myself.
You are so lovely and beautiful. You seem so relaxed and alive despite the circumstances. Looks like the real wonderful you. Good for you. I know it's not all plain sailing but keep going x
Loving these vlogs Michel! I say it every time but I'm just so proud of you for showing up as you are and making the best of your life in this season. I'd love to see you take yourself on a fancy dinner in a future vlog. Also never feel like you're over sharing or not sharing enough. You don't owe us any personal information. But when you do share, we are here for you and will support you ❤️ Love you girl!
I love your vlogs so much, they are so inspirational. I really want to start my own channel and vlog and have no clue where to start but your sharing and car chats keep me going
It's OK to share your emotions and your thoughts and evaluation of what you've been through and you are so decent and graceful honey . You asked for opinion on going alone and dressing up, I say as long as you feel worried or intimidated by the idea , don't do it just yet . Wait until your inside rest for a while . You don't need any type of awkward situations with no need .
I just adore your personality. Even I don’t know most of the brands that your presenting, because i am from Germany, i am routing for you from distance. More woman need to do more content like yours. Seriously!
Absolutely love your vlogs and have been watching you for years; just want you you to know that you sharing your heart and feelings is so refreshing and not over-sharing at all! If anything, it makes it feel a more personal connection and makes me want to cheer for your success and happiness even more! All the love! ❤️
Enjoyed this blog so much! I went through a terrible season of grief and life challenges. I found my mind wandering throughout the day and my sad emotions would become overwhelming. I still had a job to do and needed to take care of myself, but I found it hard to manage everything. So what I did that worked well for me was to give myself 15 minutes in the morning to think about things related to my loss. I set a timer, and when the timer went off I would tell myself, okay that's enough thinking about this and I will think about it again tomorrow morning. Now I need to focus on the present. It helped me tremendously throughout the day because when thoughts and feelings would pop up I would just tell myself again oh okay I can feel those and think about those again tomorrow morning, so it gave me peace of mind knowing there was a set time to process the loss.
You should go to a glass shop and get “car window thickness safety glass” cut round for your old table. Probably only cost ya $100 or so saving you a lot of $!
I'd love to see you do a table for one in a vlog. I've never been brave enough to do that ever, and have always wanted to. I think seeing you do it, It would give me the courage to do so. I think it would be so liberating.
The table for 1 would intimidate me too. Maybe ease into it and get lunch by yourself, is what I would do. But also with covid I don't go out much anyway so not sure if I'm just in covid mode or intimidated by going by myself
I actually enjoy you vlogs now since you have been single crazy I know but I feel like I can totally relate to you more now...being single is tough but awesome too and I enjoy hearing your thoughts as I think alot of us single ppl feel similar Thanks for being so real and sharing real thoughts ❤️ Keep being you
I'm a mom of 5....youngest is 15 I LIVE FOR A TABEL OF 1!! I love my family but Mani pedi facial followed by a fancy dinner for 1 is what I ask for my bday every year it's my happy place My doodle is allergic to chicken and in researching kibble and dogfood in general they all have chicken....argh! so I make his
Hi Michel 😊. It's so nice to see you out & about instead of staying inside all by yourself. Keep exploring the areas around & I hope with each outing you find tons of joy filled moments 😁. Love the new sign that you've designed. Can't wait to see it in your home! Prayers & Wishes Lisa Hampton 😃
When I transferred states for my job, it was about a year and a half before my husband could join me. I was determined not to sit at home every night so I started dining out, going to movies, etc by myself. Really casual places were easy but I was nervous to do a nice restaurant. A good friend told me to try sitting at the restaurants bar to eat. A lot of people travel for their jobs and tend to sit at the bar so that seems to be where the single diners end up. Easy place to strike up conversation as well. You certainty don't have to be a drinker to dine at the bar. Maybe that could ease you into it. But you're doing great getting out there and keeping busy!
Just want to say that you are doing great with this hard time and I appreciate that you are feeling your feelings. I have a hard time with allowing myself to do that and it's encouraging to watch you. Your looking absolutely beautiful btw.
“I feel like the real MVP….” Girl we got this rocky season! I experience the sad destination memories as well, and I always assumed it was merely because I wasn’t planning for the expected sadness that would follow but I’m learning to enjoy the moments and that includes the bad. ❤️😘
That is such a normal thing! I remember walking through a thrift store and a random mens shirt would make me tear up. Or in a store and a song would come on that would just do me in...but I also remember months later in that same store a song coming on and I was doing a little dance to myself and a little old lady came around the corner and caught me and we both laughed! Just feel whatever you feel. 💜
If you can go out to dinner alone. The more you’ll feel comfortable doing other things alone, it gives yourself a better sense of independence. By the way I love your necklace with the emeralds, where did you get it?
I always have a sad time of the day. I'm a night owl, but sometimes at 11 or midnight I get sad. It's when I'm lying in pain in bed, and I just feel so sad and tired. I've learnt to keep my mind busy on the night, until I go to sleep.
I get sad at VERY random things too. I’m glad I am not the only one. When you mentioned that Max is allergic to chicken, I thought of our 10 year old cat who is allergic to fish. We found out when she was a baby and failed to thrive. It is next to impossible to find ANYTHING that does not contain either fish, fish meal or fish oil. She eats chicken with broth and brown rice. She also likes peas, carrots and sweet potatoes. 😺
It's so wonderful to watch you grow and blossom, stepping out of your comfort and into this situation that you were thrown into, don't ever worry about over sharing, we all know you are human and have nothing but sympathy/empathy for you and your situation. You are loved ❤️
My husband passed away and I cried over many things for a year. A loss of any kind is hard. You sharing is healthy. I adore your vlogs. BTW, my dog has chicken allergies too..lol
I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that loss 🤍 and thank you for helping me feel less alone in my emotions!🤍
So sorry...may his memory be eternal 🙏
💔😔😢 My deepest condolences to you! I am so deeply sorry for your heartbreaking loss.
My daughter's doxie, Hush Puppy has a chicken allergy.
I hope you are so happy now
People sometimes talk about the grieving process like it's a straight line, but it really isn't. It comes in waves. You may wake up perfectly fine then something familiar will hit different...and you'll feel like you're back in the thick of it again. I think the best way to handle those times is to acknowledge them, allow yourself to feel what you need to feel in that moment, learn what you can from it, and let it go. There's no schedule on grief. Eventually, those little moments won't happen as often or sting as much. Believe that.
Yes! Quoting Kacey Musgraves "Healing doesn't happen in a straight line"
I’m loving that you are currently at the stage of even considering a “date night” shirt... even if it’s for some arbitrary date in the unknown future. Girl, that is progress.
You’re right, that is progress!🥲🥰🤍 one day (maybe in the way future), I’m gonna go on some GREAT dates HAHAHAHHA.
Yes! Fully support eating out alone! Bring a book or something like that to do
I agree!
I love the book idea! I feel like that would make it feel more comfortable!
Yes, I brought a book when I ate out alone and it was so much more comfortable. Otherwise you're not sure what to do with yourself till food arrives!
Pro tip as someone who was never intimidated going out to eat alone when I was single: bring a book! It makes the whole experience more enjoyable too.
Going out to eat, seeing a movie, visiting a museum or driving to a different town on my own is fabulous. I'm retired but my hubby isn't. Even before getting married I did a lot of things on my own. When I was in my early twenties I decided to visit all the capital cities here in Australia. I've been to all of them except Darwin. Far too hot for me up there! Having seen them on my own meant the time was mine. See what you like. Do what you like. History is facinating to me so being able to enjoy old gaols and convict sites was brilliant. Bored relatives or friends weren't an issue. And as you've found, when your alone other people are more comfortable talking with you because they aren't 'interrupting'. I've had facinating, funny and insightful conversations with people I've never met before. I think you are doing extremely well!
What a beautiful comment!!! Thanks for sharing that with us 💗
@@Ali_E26 Well thank you! What a lovely thing to say.
You are my new favorite comfort youtuber 😘. About the eating alone- I did that a couple times when I was single, and I started out with something not as intimidating like Panera. Then I worked up to a more casual sports grill type place, then I went to what people would consider a “fancier” restaurant. The waiter was so impressed with me when I told him I was there by myself, and he treated me like a queen the whole night. It was lovely! I hope you do that and vlog it!
We need more humans like that server, what a sweet gesture and conversation!🥺🤍
I remember going to lunch by myself in college it always felt less intimidating if I was in between errands and I’d bring a book or sketchbook and I’d talk to the servers
After my divorce, every Friday I'd take a hot bath with bubbles. I'd light a candle, turn off big light, put on calming music and have a glass of wine. I loved Friday nights. PS: Keep talking about what you are feeling. It'll help you and possibly others.
I was so scared to eat alone until I just started doing it!! I know it's intimidating but honestly I wore my airpods and just people watched, took my time eating, tipped well and had a great time!
I love this!!! People watching is truly the best activity 😆
Oh my goodness I feel you with the prescriptions. We still use the same small town pharmacy and when the lady asked if I’d like to grab his prescription with mine and I choked up and shyly said “no”. I cried the whole way home. We can do hard things girl. God has us in his wonderful hands.
Oh friend, my heart feels for you. The questions by unsuspecting strangers are always hardest. 🥺 love you. 🤍
@@MichelJanse I love you too sweet lady. 🥰
Bring a book when you get a table for one!! It gives you something to read if you're feeling awkward or bored, and when other people see it, they usually assume no one else is joining you :)
thank you for posting so regularly and talking about your feelings so candidly :) i'm in a very similiar situation to yours (same age, christian, 6 year relationship ended) and your videos are a highlight of my day 100%.
Thank you for choosing the spend time w me here 🥰🤍 I’m glad to get to do life together
I can completely relate to your comment about your prescription and Pasadena. I lost my mom in November and random things like that make me sad. Things like I’ll never go to our favorite Greek restaurant again with my mom or the last time I came
to BLANK was with my mom. I could go on and on. I am also separated from my husband. Divorce will be coming soon. Very hard couple of years. 😢. You are doing amazing. It will get better ❤️🩹 🙏🏼
It will get better for Michel, As it will for you
Hi Michel! I had multiple miscarriages last year, and while our losses are different, I love seeing you do things for yourself and focus on you. It’s so inspiring and has helped me relate to you as I’m also walking through a life situation I wasn’t expecting and am having to seek out joy right now! Thanks for all you do 🤍
My dog is also allergic to chicken and always throws up. I feel badly because he loves it so much. In Chinese Medicine they believe feeding you dog neutral or cooling meats is best. If your dog has allergies, itchy skin, rashes, hot ears, pants a lot or sits in the shade, it could be a sign they are a more hot/warm dog and they may do better on cooling or neutral meats like Beef, Turkey or Pork so that’s what I do and it works with my little pupper :)
Sadness is sneaky. In hospice, I would explain the sneaky sadness as “grief bursts”. Unexpected, usually happens in the most random ways and the weirdest of places.
^^^^This for sure!! Love ya Michel. So the fancy dinner thing. I am very intimidated by it. My grandma used to do it. I am just not brave enough. I would order take out and go pick it up. You are doing so well, you got this. Hugs
Grief Bursts is actually a common phrase! Dr. Alan wolfelt wrote an amazing book about grief and I think he may have actually coined the term
@@simplygina7703 He probably did! We had his books at the hospice I worked at, and I went to one of his talks on grief. After ten years working in mental health you collect so much information you sometimes lose the source of it.
@@heathersmith9237 sorry didn’t mean it in like a know-it-all way lol that book just really helped me after my dad passed from cancer. My family benefitted tremendously from amazing mental health resources, so thank you for what you do!!
@@simplygina7703 oh no- I didn’t take it that way at all! It’s nice you brought up his name and reminded me. :) I’d been filling a cart with some books to read and have on hand (if I suggest a book to a client I always try to refresh/skim it over) and now I’ve added a few of his to the list. I’m so happy his stuff was helpful to you and that you have had good mental health support. ❤️
Don't worry about over sharing, we are all human and experiences the same emotions at some time in our lives! It is not only therapeutic for you to share but it is also therapeutic for us to help us process our own emotions and not feel alone!!! You have no idea how much your honesty during this time is helping so many of us get thru difficult times in our own lives. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are independent and most importantly you are kind and loving. This door closing has opened up so many other doors for you.... explore them, enjoy them. Use this opportunity to discover more about yourself, be happy and do all the things you have always wanted to do but could not as your ex was holding you back from so many amazing opportunities in life. Sorry that was so long winded, but I was in your EXACT situation and I have now found the love of my life, started a family and am extremely happy. You can do it too! Relax, don't be so hard on yourself, let go of all the worries about your video content and just be open and honest. Anyone who has a problem with that can X out if the video and leave their opinions to themselves!!!!
This comment made my heart swell🥰 thank you sweet friend. I hope I’m on a similar trajectory as your story!
@@MichelJanse ❤
Do you even recognize yourself?, you are getting out there and finding out who you want to be !! Congratulations girl
AWE! Thank you friend!🥰
I regularly do meals out myself, cinema trips alone and even a few days away myself - love it. I'm married 31yrs this year, with 21 and 28 yr old girls but love the freedom of choosing to do things I love. So do your meals out and celebrate going to wherever you want xxx
I love this!
I am two years past divorce and the first time I went into Lowe's without my husband I almost burst out crying. So yeah, the smallest things can set it off.
Do you think the husband side of things ever feels these sadness bursts that we feel?
@@blueseptember2174 I absolutely think they do. Likely less outwardly emotional, but they still have feelings-even if they don’t share them. A common way for some men who are depressed is to act out with anger.
@@CiTalMe I don't know why but that makes me feel better.
I’m so sorry you’ve felt similar things. It’s truly so difficult and unsuspecting sometimes. 🤍
I use to feel awkward when I did things by myself. I have to say, I love it now. I go to movies alone, shopping, out to eat, I have even gone to dance classes alone, hoping to find a partner, which I did. Being along I think is a good thing, it means you enjoy being with you. I am also at an age where I really do not care what people think of me. So there is that. This time in my life has seriously been the best time of my life. I am almost 50, my daughter is grown, married and I have a grandson who is 6. I am single and have been for 9 years. I love that you push yourself to be uncomfortable, it is a true sign of growth. Good job Michel!! Keep stepping out of your comfort zone, you will be amazed how great life really is.
Heck yeah, go out to eat by yourself! I would always bring a book, just in case things got slow. Or eat at the bar!! Even though you don't drink, I had the most amazing conversations with strangers eating at the bar. Don't worry about what other people think, live your life!
I looooove that! So empowering!
You're never alone when you have a dog. I have been a widow for 15 years and I sometimes get hit by all sorts of emotions but, since I've got my Labradoodle, I always feel like I have a friend. My kids are 24 and 17 and doing their own thing but Coco always wants to be with me. She's allergic to all meats except fish (if you call that a meat.)
I think you should do a week of doing things alone challenges, eating out, theaters, etc. Full week.
Most restaurants (even really nice ones) have a bar, we actually like sitting at the bar and chatting with the bartender. If I’m going out alone that’s where I’ll be 😊
I don't like the way some people act about going out on your own. I mean, it used to make me nervous but now..I absolutely love it. I tell anyone who will listen that single or not, you should do it. Sometimes it's nice to just be by yourself! 🥰
I used to travel for work 50% of my time. I ate alone at restaurants all the time. You will get used to it!! Eating alone doesn’t have to mean you are alone. Sadness waves always come with loss and change. This too will pass is a great thing to tell yourself.
I've eaten alone at nice restaurants more times than I can count (including Valentine's Day). Personally I LOVE it! It's great people watching, I tend to get better service, and I enjoy the food more because I'm focusing on it rather than conversation. I'm sorry you overheard an (unintentially) upsetting comment but trust me, 99% of people at the restaurant won't care or notice that you're alone. It's a really empowering feeling experience IMO so I hope you go through with it!
Would you ever set a meet a greet with your fans?
It's totally okay to think during shavasana!! I've cried during shavasana before and I'm not the only one. It's a reflective moment!
Girl I’m married and I still do lunch dates with table reservation by myself there’s something refreshing just sitting there enjoying yourself and silence and I like to people watch so I enjoy it lol
I can’t handle eating alone in a restaurant, I feel way too awkward. 😅 The last time I traveled I ordered nice Italian take out & ate in my hotel room. That being said, never hurts to try it out. If it’s terrible, you never have to do it again. ☺️
“If it’s terrible, you never have to do it again” that’s what I’m going to tell myself when I try eating alone. Thank you!
@@shannonleigh1597 No problem! It definitely helps me whenever trying intimidating things.
Go for it. Get a reservation for one. Try some new food that others wouldn’t want
I hope you don't take this in the wrong way, because I only wish you happiness in life. But it has been amazing to see you find yourself over this season you are going through. I feel like you had lost your identity a bit, but you have come back as the strong and original woman that I engaged with a few year ago! I just left a long term relationship, and seeing you find yourself again has driven me to find myself again and I've never been happier.
Thank you for sharing your journey, because it can't be easy. But you really see helping people.
*are helping people.... not see
I didnt have a divorce or breakup, but I moved out of the town I lived in for 22 years. I go to visit my parents and see businesses that have been painted differently, or one of my favorite restaurants that closed makes me SO sad, especially since I didn't know RIGHT away. This year I went to the street fair that I always went to until I was like 16 (always worked weekends) and it was so exciting but also a little sad. I ran into some good friends from high school and one kept saying "you're welcome to come over any time" and it broke my heart that I wasn't 5 minutes away and I didn't have the heart to tell her I probably couldn't.
One of the alternatives to getting for a table for one (especially if I'm doing errands or am on a lunch break for work) will be just to sit at the bar. I know that you avoid alcohol, but, to me, bar seating is much more flexible, and people are less judgy about if you're there alone. Just a tip! :)
I've always been single and I've always enjoyed it. It can be a lot of fun going alone to places. You don't have to compromise, do things for other people, you get to be completely selfish and do whatever you want!
I'm 38 and I eat by myself at cafe's and restaurants all the time. I've never had a partner though (I'm neurodiverse and just haven't found dating a priority/or the right person) so it could be different for me. And I just love eating out, if I want to ain't noone gonna stop me. I do get looked at, but I'm learning more and more over time to be unapologetic for other people's judgement, because sometimes my autistic ticks can be noticeable, and I can't change that, just like right here and now you can't change being single. Live your life and push that inner strength to the outside. You can do anything you set your mind to, especially in this time when you're free to make more choices on your own. *big heart hands*
Michel! I haven’t commented in awhile, but want you to know that whenever your videos pop up, I’m torn between saving them up to binge them or watching immediately 😂 love all the song recommendations - this one was super fun! ☀️
I lost my sister to Covid in June. I find so many things bring me to tears.
Our dog ) a pure breed border collie) was allergic to chicken. He presented with ear infections as a puppy. We changed him to a salmon and potato based dry dog food and he lived to be 14 years old we lost him 1 year ago. Our bet told us it's pretty common. Totally switching topics...I love your vlogs and just hanging out with you. I love how you always end your videos and I wanted to wish you the best rest of your day and I will be trying very hard to wait for your next vlog! I see an incredible change in you already, even with the hard days. You have been so strong and brave and so glad that you are surrounded with love and supoort. 🥰
I have always felt self conscious sitting in a restaurant by myself and I’m 70!!!!!! I really love your channel so much I do respect you stepping out of your comfort zone.❤️
Sadness is like that it creeps up on u out of no where and then I will be in tears. But that normal and it's ok to have a good cry every so often.
I love doing lunches in a restaurant. I will do it alone no problem and then order a dinner for later. But I would have no problem doing a dinner alone as well, probably sitting at the bar to eat so I didn't take a table up for the waitress. 💕
I'm married, but my husband is gone for work travel often. I take myself out to dinner, table for 1 at least once a week while he's gone. I would not be embarrassed to do it at all! It's so nice to have a break from not doing dishes and to just treat yourself 😁 also you don't have to compromise on where to go for dinner bc it's just you!
Way to go Michel. You are going out of your comfort zone. Going to the gym, park or a thrift store is healing. Thank you for sharing. You are helping me of us who feel lonely and sad.
Uptown Cheapskate is amazing and has items that are so your style! You can also sell to them when you get tired of your clothing. They have several in DFW as well!
My husband was in Japan for work for a couple months and I would eat at restaurants alone. I would always bring a book with me so it looked a lot more intentional than just sitting there scrolling through my phone.
When I go to a restaurant or coffee shop by myself I either take a book along or a notebook/journal to write in. I enjoy both reading and writing in cafes, but it also makes it clear that I’m choosing to be there by myself. Sadness is sneaky. It waits until your defenses are down before sneaking up to wrap itself around you. Good for you sticking with feeling and processing your feelings as they come up!
I moved into my apartment living alone and my dad just left today. Super excited but super nervous for the journey ahead. Watching your vlogs of your solo dates gives me confidence to venture out. I think tomorrow I’ll take myself out and explore time :) I also really want to sign up for Pilates again bc like you xD my best motivator is to not waste money on the classes I pay for haha. Sending lots of love!!
On day 2 of recovering from emergency abdominal surgery and that song “I’m just feeling myself” put a smile on my face. Thanks for the recommendation!
I am married but love taking myself out to eat. You are the most important to yourself.
I think it's a good idea to go to dinner by yourself all dolled up. Glad you are making new friends and being spontaneous. Share as much as you feel comfortable. We accept you in any amount. Love you.
Girl your amazing
Idea about going on a dinner for one:
Consider a sushi bar-less intimidating experience.
Perhaps a nice lunch for one downtown Austin.
I take a book with me xx
Sushi IS my favorite food group 😍😍😍😍 so I love this idea
Yes I have done lunch/dinner and even a movie solo a few times. I think it’s something good to experience, even if it’s a bit out of our comfort zone. Bring a book or notebook to set on the table seemed to help.
Where did you buy the beanie? I love it. Also, I enjoy eating alone. It's peaceful. I like to read, research things for home decorating on my phone, and just eat. I love how you are getting out and taking care of yourself. When I got a divorce I stayed home and didn't take care of myself. That was a lesson in what not to do. The best thing I did was to learn from my mistakes, and do better. 24 hours to enjoy in this day and I intend to do so 😊
Sadness is normal as long as it doesn't stick around for long. The older you get you experience sadness more because you've lived through more of life. I'm 66. Now I realize that I have much to be grateful for. Things could of been alot worse, compared to what others go through. Now I can help others that are going through perhaps what I have gone through. I've fallen in pretty deep holes. But my faith has helped me climb back out, many times.
I haven't done that much in 3 months. Lol. But, I am an introvert and prefer the company of no one. I get anxious when more than one person is around me. I am glad you are getting out and trying new things. Yes, go eat alone. Yes, go to a movie alone and yes it is ok too to feel lonely.
You are still going through the grieving process. The 7 stages of grief
Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.
Pain and guilt. ...
Anger and bargaining. ...
Depression. ...
The upward turn. ...
Reconstruction and working through. ...
Acceptance and hope.
Until you go through each of these, they will creep up! You cant skip any because they need to happen. OXOX
Sitting at the bar to have a meal with myself is always nice :)
Watch Hope Floats. There is a scene where he says it takes a brave person to go out and eat alone. That the key is to make it look like it is your choice.
Whenever I do it I take my journal to write or bring something to read
I moved and never went back to my old places..I walk with my dogs there
And also looked at photos and thought I will never walk there again…how sad..for 24 years I walked there and it’s all over 🥲
Yes, the sneaky sadness is definitely a thing! To me, it’s all an extension of mourning. Mourning last things, last times, even if it’s just something that seems small and insignificant. I guess it’s our brain’s way of putting things to rest so we can move forward and gain closure, which means we have to recognize the thing now “lost” or “dead” to us to do so. But it’s definitely weird when and how it can hit you, when least expected. You’re not alone. I see you, Michel. Praying for you! 🙏🏻
Just curious, have your health problems cooled down a bit since being in an emotionally safer and more peaceful environment?
They actually have been. My mom brought that up recently and I didn’t notice the correlation before, which is super interesting
@@MichelJanse Very interesting! I’m so glad to hear it!
#thebodykeepsthescore
Also the name of a book friends keep recommending...need to get on that 😜
@@Kaibigan39 That looks like a good book! I just ordered it to my library 📚 thanks for the recommendation!
Learning to dine alone is so liberating!! Try again, movies alone, drinks alone… it’s worth it!
In college I remember HATING the idea of doing anything alone. But then I got my own place and lived alone for a while and found it relaxing. Now as a mom of a toddler, supper somewhere cute alone is MAGICAL.
I can’t wait until it warms up here in KS and I can get to gardening.
New subscriber! Really appreciate you sharing even when it's hard and you're not sure. I've done table for 1 many times. Sometimes I felt okay about it and sometimes it feel awkward. A lot of times I would take my dog then I never felt alone but then he passed away. I definitely feels waves of sadness but try hard to push forward everyday. You are very relatable to many. You seem like a really sweet person and very pretty. Also loving your dog Max!! He makes me smile. 🙂🐾
Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with us 💕
I don't think it has been oversharing, but most importantly is how you feel about it. I think it would only be oversharing if it's something your're not ready or don't want to share, if there is something you want to do or feel like you need to share, do it ❤️
I also like this quote by Angel Kyodo Williams, "give yourself permission to be uncomfortable and to make others uncomfortable in your truth"
Lots of love!
I love dining by myself. I can pick whatever I want from the menu. I can take my time, no need to rush. I don't have to share my food with my husband or toddler. I bring my kindle with me or read the newspaper. My advice, for anyone who is anxious about it, would be to start with Sunday brunch or lunch. Or even sitting down with a coffee. I always feel so much better after having some time to myself.
You are so lovely and beautiful. You seem so relaxed and alive despite the circumstances. Looks like the real wonderful you. Good for you. I know it's not all plain sailing but keep going x
Loving these vlogs Michel! I say it every time but I'm just so proud of you for showing up as you are and making the best of your life in this season.
I'd love to see you take yourself on a fancy dinner in a future vlog.
Also never feel like you're over sharing or not sharing enough. You don't owe us any personal information. But when you do share, we are here for you and will support you ❤️
Love you girl!
Love YOU, friend! Thank you 🤍
I love your vlogs so much, they are so inspirational. I really want to start my own channel and vlog and have no clue where to start but your sharing and car chats keep me going
Yooo thanks so much for the love on the album! A few people told me that you sent them so I had to come check out your channel. much love ❤
It's OK to share your emotions and your thoughts and evaluation of what you've been through and you are so decent and graceful honey . You asked for opinion on going alone and dressing up, I say as long as you feel worried or intimidated by the idea , don't do it just yet . Wait until your inside rest for a while . You don't need any type of awkward situations with no need .
I just adore your personality. Even I don’t know most of the brands that your presenting, because i am from Germany, i am routing for you from distance. More woman need to do more content like yours.
Seriously!
🥺🤍 this means so much
Absolutely love your vlogs and have been watching you for years; just want you you to know that you sharing your heart and feelings is so refreshing and not over-sharing at all! If anything, it makes it feel a more personal connection and makes me want to cheer for your success and happiness even more! All the love! ❤️
The sharing is cool because it’s like a video diary
Just a thought about eating alone if it is really difficult you could try a nice lunch ...build up to the nice dinner alone. have a great day
When I was single I use to bring some nice books.
Enjoyed this blog so much! I went through a terrible season of grief and life challenges. I found my mind wandering throughout the day and my sad emotions would become overwhelming. I still had a job to do and needed to take care of myself, but I found it hard to manage everything. So what I did that worked well for me was to give myself 15 minutes in the morning to think about things related to my loss. I set a timer, and when the timer went off I would tell myself, okay that's enough thinking about this and I will think about it again tomorrow morning. Now I need to focus on the present. It helped me tremendously throughout the day because when thoughts and feelings would pop up I would just tell myself again oh okay I can feel those and think about those again tomorrow morning, so it gave me peace of mind knowing there was a set time to process the loss.
Please do another day to day makeup / skincare / shower routine video! I’d love to see how you’ve updated your beauty routine.
My favorite self care activity is bringing my book and getting brunch by myself. You should try it!
You should go to a glass shop and get “car window thickness safety glass” cut round for your old table. Probably only cost ya $100 or so saving you a lot of $!
I'd love to see you do a table for one in a vlog. I've never been brave enough to do that ever, and have always wanted to. I think seeing you do it, It would give me the courage to do so. I think it would be so liberating.
The table for 1 would intimidate me too. Maybe ease into it and get lunch by yourself, is what I would do. But also with covid I don't go out much anyway so not sure if I'm just in covid mode or intimidated by going by myself
Thank you for sharing. Your vlogs are really giving me hope to feel less lonely:)
I actually enjoy you vlogs now since you have been single crazy I know but I feel like I can totally relate to you more now...being single is tough but awesome too and I enjoy hearing your thoughts as I think alot of us single ppl feel similar
Thanks for being so real and sharing real thoughts ❤️
Keep being you
I'm a mom of 5....youngest is 15
I LIVE FOR A TABEL OF 1!! I love my family but Mani pedi facial followed by a fancy dinner for 1 is what I ask for my bday every year it's my happy place
My doodle is allergic to chicken and in researching kibble and dogfood in general they all have chicken....argh! so I make his
Hi Michel 😊. It's so nice to see you out & about instead of staying inside all by yourself. Keep exploring the areas around & I hope with each outing you find tons of joy filled moments 😁. Love the new sign that you've designed. Can't wait to see it in your home! Prayers & Wishes Lisa Hampton 😃
When I transferred states for my job, it was about a year and a half before my husband could join me. I was determined not to sit at home every night so I started dining out, going to movies, etc by myself. Really casual places were easy but I was nervous to do a nice restaurant. A good friend told me to try sitting at the restaurants bar to eat. A lot of people travel for their jobs and tend to sit at the bar so that seems to be where the single diners end up. Easy place to strike up conversation as well. You certainty don't have to be a drinker to dine at the bar. Maybe that could ease you into it. But you're doing great getting out there and keeping busy!
Just want to say that you are doing great with this hard time and I appreciate that you are feeling your feelings. I have a hard time with allowing myself to do that and it's encouraging to watch you. Your looking absolutely beautiful btw.
“I feel like the real MVP….”
Girl we got this rocky season! I experience the sad destination memories as well, and I always assumed it was merely because I wasn’t planning for the expected sadness that would follow but I’m learning to enjoy the moments and that includes the bad.
❤️😘
That is such a normal thing! I remember walking through a thrift store and a random mens shirt would make me tear up. Or in a store and a song would come on that would just do me in...but I also remember months later in that same store a song coming on and I was doing a little dance to myself and a little old lady came around the corner and caught me and we both laughed! Just feel whatever you feel. 💜
If you can go out to dinner alone. The more you’ll feel comfortable doing other things alone, it gives yourself a better sense of independence. By the way I love your necklace with the emeralds, where did you get it?
LOVE Thrifting VIDEOS .. Thanks for sharing
You’re so pretty. I would love to see how you do your makeup and what you use!!
I always have a sad time of the day. I'm a night owl, but sometimes at 11 or midnight I get sad. It's when I'm lying in pain in bed, and I just feel so sad and tired. I've learnt to keep my mind busy on the night, until I go to sleep.
I get sad at VERY random things too. I’m glad I am not the only one. When you mentioned that Max is allergic to chicken, I thought of our 10 year old cat who is allergic to fish. We found out when she was a baby and failed to thrive. It is next to impossible to find ANYTHING that does not contain either fish, fish meal or fish oil. She eats chicken with broth and brown rice. She also likes peas, carrots and sweet potatoes. 😺
It's so wonderful to watch you grow and blossom, stepping out of your comfort and into this situation that you were thrown into, don't ever worry about over sharing, we all know you are human and have nothing but sympathy/empathy for you and your situation.
You are loved ❤️