What To Do When Your Family Doesn't Approve Of Your Relationship
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 มี.ค. 2020
- Welcome Back To Our Channel!
Please let us know your thoughts by commenting below and don't forget to subscribe!
Dre's IG: @itsdresmith
Bre's IG: @breannaaponte
Couples IG: @worththeewait
music by bensound.com - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
![[페이스캠4K] 베이비몬스터 치키타 'FOREVER' (BABYMONSTER CHIQUITA FaceCam) @SBS Inkigayo 240707](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/x9VRNTV4VDI/mqdefault.jpg)
To all the parents who are gonna harass there daughter or son about there relationship just so u know u can lose them they won't talk to u ever again. Respect ur son or daughters relationships.
that can be a good thing for the parents especially if there is alot of drama involved in that elationship!! ❤
Sometimes family can stop what God has for you because they are not ready to let go. It really hurts.
Facts
Wow I think this is what is happening to me currently
This is happening to me right now
Thats stupid
happening to me too
1. Search for the truth
2. Evaluate who you are hearing these things from
bonus: don't be mad at what people say based on the info that you gave them.
3. Don't fight fire with water. You re long term happiness and health is much more important than peoples opinions and thoughts of you.
before taking advice from someone, look at their track record.
Materialistic people may disapprove of someone simply because partner doesn't make much money and be close-minded when it comes to meeting and getting to know the person. Who cares about the person? All they care about is the money. That's the culture we live in these days.
Yes sad
Very true. I'm glad you say this upfront. A lot of people decry only some types of discrimination (i.e racial), but discrimination can run in any number of directions (i.e social class, profession, socioeconomic status, gender, age, nationality, religion, disability, etc).
Truth. I'm dealing with the fact that many of my family members don't approve of my wife given there's an age difference between us. In fact, they had a problem with her in the beginning and throughout for that reason and my wife even went as far as reaching out to my Mom and other family members and they pushed her away even though they were polite to her to her face. I even tried talking to them about it in defense of my wife to let them all know that we have nothing but the very best of intentions for a relationship with all of them and even that did no good. However, it hasn't been anything like that at all with my wife's family (now in-laws) and they've treated me with love and respect from the beginning and I'm very grateful for them all and the great relationship that I share with them all. The way I see it is that the family members on my side who treat me and my wife like dirt should be ashamed of themselves for being the closed-minded, malicious, spiteful, ignorant, stupid, and prejudiced assholes they all are and they're a bunch of losers for missing out on a great relationship with my wife and I. No matter what, my wife and I love each other with all our hearts and put God first in our lives and will fight to the death for each other and the amazing relationship that we share. You can't let anyone tell you what to do, how to think, or who to love and you have to stand your ground and prove to your spouse and the world where your loyalty is and that you'll fight them all to the death if they dare to make any troubles and/or do harm to you and your spouse because your spouse is your best friend in the world next to God.
I’m so glad you said this. I’m actually really going through this now.
At the end of the day you won’t be living with them forever so it’s all on u too pick the right person for your life and make the right choices
Family most of the time just don’t want you to be happy beyond them. What they need to do is mind their business and stay out of it! Our concerns should not lead to them becoming hateful and spiteful. We tell them to help find solice and solutions that can be effective to help and I’ve learned to never tell my family ever again about my relationship. They don’t want to help you they are usually waiting for a reason to be mean and corrupt regarding who you love . Even my friends have a more understandable perspective then adults 5 to 6 times their age.
I agree with you! Parents who are in bad situations but have so much to say about your relationship. I’m going through the same but my man has to man up and speak up. Your significant other has to have your back at all times.
100% agree! 🙌 How supportive and confident your partner is makes all the difference! 🙌
I agree with what you both said, but I feel like I would always feel like something is missing or have huge regret if I broke up with my boyfriend just bc my family(parents and sibling) told me to, we love and support each other very much. They have their lives and it's like I'm not allowed to have my own it's exhausting.😔
I can’t with his family anymore. I have spent three years trying to get his family to like me, trying to build a relationship with each individual person (there’s 13 immediate family members) and they really liked me until last week when me and my boyfriend got in a fight and they heard about it. Now they HATE me cuz I yelled at their son (btw we were both yelling) and I doesn’t matter that I apologized. I feel so defeated. At this point I’m like forget trying to have a relationship with them, now I’m just trying to deal with them.
Great move! Just relax knowing that they would be that way with anyone it’s not just you.
Hiw is it going with you now after so long?
Trust me I understand. I've realized over the years being with my man for the last 8 years now that what you both go through you need to keep it private, especially if you have a judgemental family like I do. I use to trust my mother and tell her literally everything thinking I could confide in her, I didn't expect nothing more than someone I could vent too to find out she would gossip all my relationship problems with my family and they all equally hated my boyfriend, let alone she's never even met him just didn't like the things she heard. There was a time me and my man weren't healthy as a couple we were young and both had our toxic moments, but we grew up and realized how much we really wanted to be together and to grow and evolve and have been great these last 4 years, but the only problem is now is that my family is already set with how they feel about him, and don't want no part of him, he isn't allowed to come to the house if I visit and I can't talk about him with them bc they don't wanna hear it unless it's talking shit about him which I'm past that point. Now I'm pregnant and we're about to have our first child, and my mother is still very disrespectful towards him and thinks I made horrible decisions in my life by staying with him and mentioned that if me and him moved closer to her that there could be conflict between her and I. Well that was it for me I had enough of her holding stupid grudges so I cut her off. I tried patiently for her to come around and realized that'll never happen. She likes to hold grudges. It's also my fault for over sharing with her. My relationship, not hers. Not like she raised me anyways lol.. and instead of seeing where she went wrong she just thinks I'm going through a pregnancy meltdown lmao
my girlfriend parents fucking horrible they judge me for no reasons and her dad constatly doing that crap after church judging me and teacher my 26 yrs okd girlfriend not to like me... If i ever proposed i aint going to ask her parents perssions especially her dad ass
@@Faery_Witch422 Girl it’s crazy how similar our situation is. My mom does not like my man, neither of my parents do. My mom used to be the person I would tell everything to, literally everything. But ever since I brought my man around, who is so great to me and we have had our ups and downs and we are growing together and everything but, my mom only sees the worst in she is pretty certain of how she feels and doesn’t seem like she will change her mind times soon. So I understand how you feel, my family is already sad with how they feel about him as well and they don’t want him to come over at the house or have anything involving him be associated with him.. it hurts and breaks my heart. i’m so happy that you continued on with the relationship that you’re in and it seems that you were happy with him so, at the end of the day that’s all that matters because our happiness matters and we shouldn’t let anyone else control it, even around family members. If we know it was good for us that we should continue on with it, it just sucks that we might have to cut someone off that’s holding us back from it. Holding us back for me happy. I will always love my mom and I love her to death, and I hope that nothing will get that bad between her and I but I see the path already starting that way, and I hate to see it. I love my man and I know that I’m happy with him, I just wish things were different so honey, you are not alone and I feel you 100%.
I think the problem is caring what others think. Good or bad. You may agree that what they mention is true. But for you (the person in the actual relationship ) that truth isn't a dealbreaker. Just had a conversation with a relative who's child doesn't like their new GF.
I think parents sometimes give their kids a hard time about their kids partners if they see some red flags and their child doesnt. Parents tend to see thing that their children arent always willing to see because they really want the relationship. And if you live with your parents, and want to entertain your partner at their house, then an opinion will be expected! But if you have your own place then parents dont have a right to an opinion. Granted times have changed, but respect, integrity and responsibility will always be a must in any relationship!
That goes with everything in life your family can’t choose who u wanna be with or your moves in your life that all comes down too u if u really love someone deep down they can’t say you be with that person it all comes down too u
I would listen out of respect but do my own thing at the end of the day. Because if you pass up a hood person there’s no guarantee someone better is coming around Espen this day in time
how do i do that without creating a total rift in my relationship with my parents? i don't want conflict and despise
That's tough one I wouldn't tell them nothing or tell them you're friends keep your relationship private private life happy life
Funny because I tell my boyfriend to not listen to his mom or take it with a grain of salt because she’s on her 3rd divorce. She is also bias and does not have the BOTH of us in mind since she makes it apparent that she’s protective of her son and she’s possessive of him like it’s her boyfriend. But he will swear that her opinion is everything because she’s his mom and lived longer…
I come from a Latino background, and my parents have been super involved in my life since birth. I've been with my now fiance for almost a year now. Unfortunately, they don't approve mainly because of the age difference. She is 9 years older than me (she's 44, and I'm 35). My parents are big into their children having babies (remember I'm from a Latino background).
They prefer me to be with a woman who is around my age or younger to have a better chance of having babies. I love my parents, and it's disheartening that they don't approve of my relationship. I know they feel the way they feel out of love for me. But I really wish they could see that we are both happy together and be a little bit more open-minded. She's a really good woman and makes me happy.
He is the one u are spending the rest of your life with . Just do what makes you happy.
lovely couple, love is strong. like your topic
Love the maturity guys... Stay blessed 🙏
My parents dont approve of my partner because hes black. That's it. He recently proposed and I havnt told my parents. I'm torn because I love my parents, and I want to honor them and respect them. They feel I will struggle a lot with black man because of the troubles they bring. Although there are some things I dont like, my fiance is a loving caring man and great leader (take charge alfa with beta heart). :(
we are in the same situation
I can relate, I'm living through it right now.
Omg how are things going? Same exact here. My bf is black. A family member and I were talking and she was totally against it. Said they don't want to work, are lazy. An African woman married a black man and he ended up being a complete loser, so they now use that as an example. I'm so torn because i love my family but I also want to be happy. Of course I don't want what they say to be true or anything like that.
@@Bthe1only so my fiance black man, is still even more amazing! He does NOT have lazy qualities, in fact he is a confident pharmaceutical leader. But the concern is hes black. That's it. Hes also very tall, kind of like a football player. But hes a big teddy bear! Kind loving smart, funny, and loves me so so so so much! The dilemma is, do I lose what's only left of my family, (my parents) who have always been great to me! Other than this situation.
I have to make a decision FAST ! And I'm weeping as I write this... because I know some things got to give and I can just imagine breaking his heart.... 😭😭😭😭
If I stay with him, I will be so happy, but torn inside because I will lose my father and it can affect his already frail health. Hes not doing too good.... also they're living in TX, which I absolutely love living in TX.
My man is in NJ, which I so dont like NJ, but my job is there too...
I did just get job offer in TX.... this is just such a mess... !!!
Enough of me.... how are you handling your end??!!!
I’m living through this right now
I'm glad I came across this video. Thank you two for making this video for having a quality video.
I think I needed to hear this. Thank you both for this video. The truth is someplace in the middle.
I been in a long distance relationship since covid 19 lockdown. He came down to my city to meet my parents and they liked him. My older sister was upset that she didn’t get to meet him on that visit and has been negative and passive aggressive about us since. (We had plans to keep visiting each other back n forth so there was gonna be more opportunities for her to meet him). His plan was to move to my city but the plan changed and now I’m moving to his city and moving in with him bc we are tired of being apart. I will also be starting a new job. My parents are worried but supportive and hope we work out. My sister was worried and clearly didn’t approve but also didn’t have anything positive to say..about my relationship or my job. And it’s so crazy to me. I get that we have an unusual situation but it’s our situation. Sometimes you gotta just follow your heart and start your own life. At the end of the day, my family all have their own spouse. It’s time to have one of my own.
I have been on and off with my boyfriend for 6 years. No one in my family has been supportive of my relationship since day one. They didn't like our 10 year age gap and never cared to meet him. We have been through hell and back and they will never understand the bond that we have. I'm in the position where my family is making choose between them or him. I hate this feeling. I'm to the point where I feel forced to keep my relationship a secret. I hate the feeling but I can't bare losing either of them.
I know exactly how you feel. I’m going through the same thing, if you want to talk let me know we could help each other
I'm literally going through the same thing currently! its the worst feeling.
@@asiahabdoullahi6862 I am truly sorry to hear your going through something similar. Family can be so unfair sometimes. Just hang in there. I know it's hard.
@@MmmBien it truly is the worst feeling!! I hope you make the right decision for yourself. At the end of the day, it's your life not theirs.
@@jojobarrera2357 your absolutely right! I’m leaning towards being with him and praying my family comes around to my choice. Thanks for responding!
Real talk💯 what you guys talked about is exactly what I've been going through! I can't blame her family, because she tells them things when she's upset. Her family didn't like me from day one, and it hasn't gotten any better. I actually shared this with my wife, just to see how she feels about what you guys had to say. Thanks 👍 to you both.
How do y’all deal with the pressure from her family? Or have y’all just let it go?
I had to walk away.. the relationship was way to toxic, too messy. My life has been Soo much better since I chose to move on.
@@demetriusrobertson5423I respect your honesty 🙏
my man told me his family doesn’t approve of our marriage, so he told me that he can’t disobey his family because of what we had, and he told me that his tired of everything and he left and ever since then I have been praying to God to bring him back because i have come to love him so much and i don’t see myself moving on
Great advice. Thank you! Yr a lovely couple btw. All the best 🙏🙏
A lot has happened but I’m 17 rn and my parents, mostly my mom doesn’t like my bf. My dad didn’t show concern for it until my mom was raging and telling him about it when she tried to kick me out and if he wasn’t there I still wouldn’t be in this house. All over a boy. And I think my dads just putting a front so that my mom doesn’t go back and forth with him not agreeing with her. My bf really wants me to tell my mom next year cause I’ll be 18 and he wants to do it before I graduate but I’m still gonna be living under the roof so it’s really nerve racking. My bf and I have been dating for over a year but the first time we dated he was really nervous to the point where he temporarily broke up with me cause he didn’t want me to get in trouble. I’ve met a tonnnn of his family mostly over the phone and everyone likes me and even his little brother and all of his cousins call me bestie. But my mom doesn’t even wanna get the chance to met him and gets mad cause I told him all the bad and messed up stuff she would say to me and said I was trying to set her up cause I asked if my mom could meet him and his mom after I told them what my mom had said to me. I feel like she’s tryna push what she experienced onto me because my mom and dad don’t have the best relationship and haven’t slept in the same bed since I was in really young. They’re always screaming and fighting even tho she doesn’t wanna admit that to me and just saying they’re having a disagreement. My boyfriend and I have a good relationship and know how to communicate with eachother even if we disagree on stuff we just take a few hours to cool off from eachother and come back and talk about it. Ik she wants the best for me but she’s being messy about the whole thing and even says messed up stuff to him too he’s just a kid and she’s grown. Idk what to do does can anyone give me advice???
Had my son, who is a black male, read all the comments. We learned a lot!
What did you learn?
Yeah, guys, I'm glad I'm not into that only in high school.
I had medication that kicked. My dad was so mad about that. I bet that was not the good choice to do that back in COVID-19.
I am going through the challenge now.
I’m currently going through the same challenge I hope to come out successfully. Great video ❤️
How did it go? My parents dont approve of my fiance because hes black....
jan joy damn how is everything now?
@@NBaa2123 great you asked 🤣🤣 I found out later that we were not meant for each other, so we broke up
Muddy Water damn my bad u will find the one.May I ask was it ur parents doing?Are they the cause of the break?
@@NBaa2123 they were not. Things didn't work out, Although I love her very much, but I've to let her go maybe someone else will make her more happier 😄
I'm not dating him yet but he used to be a really bad kid and he's been to jail he's gotten stabbed but that's because of where he was brought up as soon as his grandmother removed him from the situation he became the happy kid that he used to be but my mother is very one-sided and as soon as she finds all these things out she won't let me be with him but as of right now she likes him I'm just preparing for the worst
Parents are gonna pass soon anyways so remind everyone that. Cold truth. Then what? Everybody’s standards met but yours to be alone after they are dead without your own family? I guess just try to find someone new…
I'm in a long-distance relationship and I told my family about my boyfriend I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years and my mom judged my boyfriend on his appearance but I and my boyfriend are so in love and we are planning to get engaged but the only problem here is my family because they don't support me about it my relationship but my boyfriends family support us about our relationship.
How did you deal with it , need your advice ? How are things now
This is my situation dear, it's confusing
My situation is similar to yours. I had to pray about it because I really love her and she loves me. I want to marry her because she’s the only person that has shown me what love looks and feels like. She’s from a foreign country and they think that she’s using me, but I know she is not because she never once asked me for anything materialistic. I got them to agree to talk to her to get to know her. I hope things go well.
This is great advice.
Listen to your family ad they are right.
Hi I'm dealing with a situation where I truly love my guy best friend but his mom doesn't approve of us mostly due to age differences. I'm 40 and he's 25 and he truly makes me happy. I've known him and his mom for 4 years but she's always gave me issues about getting too close to him. Before she knew, we were seeing each other, now we live together and still she's been pushing us to stay friends and it's very painful because she's judging me and pushing her beliefs of relationships never last also because she's alone which is not our fault. I'm not sure how to address this to him. There has been a few times that she's caused past conflicts between us and it seems like I'm having to put my happiness on hold and it's very unhealthy for both of us to be honest. I will never give up on him. I truly love him. I'm hearing the step 2 but it doesn't reasonate with us because I have ask his mom what is it that she doesn't approve of? She said age differences and her beliefs on relationships due to her past experiences but I let her know from a place of confidence and honesty that he is a great person and I have always been there for him through the 4 years even when others hurt and used him, I never left his side and I'm still here for him and he is a mature adult and he deserves to be happy and I would like to be the one to continue to genuinely show him. She has even gone off on me for no b reason and I've had enough. Usually when he's not around and I let him know and she changes. Unfortunately that is very unhealthy for both of us. I don't know what to do and I will never give up on him. She has formed her own opinions about me when I've only said good things about him. She says that I'm family but I don't feel treated that way by her and she only wants us as friends and nothing more which is unfair to him and me and so is forcing her beliefs on us. True you also don't want to follow anyone's advice who is trying to maliciously force you to do something that you know hurts or can jeopardize your connection or if your family is doing it to one if your siblings in their relationship
🙏 good topic you guys
Hello Bre and Dre. I have so enjoyed y'alls journey. So many youth hear about ways they should pattern their life/relationships but rarely have an example or someone to look up to. Thanks for putting yourselves out there. I have a question. You mentioned something about 'the way they have lived their life isn't something you'd like to mirror your life off of and about people not being a good example.' I was married for 22 years and now divorced because my husband walked in one day, said he was in love with someone else, and wanted a divorce. There was no way that I could save the marriage; he left me for her. When you reference people not being a good example or people that you do not want to mirror your life off of, are you also referring to divorced people who fought hard for the marriage but unfortunately have to live with the 'divorce' label?
I hope I get a response to my question. I am dating my boyfriend, but his sister doesn't want him to date anymore after having a divorce with his ex wife. Everytime he hangs out with his family, he can't talk to me or introduce me to them coz his elder sister doesn't want him to date. It bothers me a lot and I do not know what to do. Please advise me
You can’t pick someone else relationship ..make no sense
I met my boyfriend through the Internet my father and older brother don't approve of that I'm 22 and currently staying with my parents while doing college we aren't able to go on a date until my parents meet him we been dating for almost 9 months but funny thing is my parents moved in together when they were 3 months of dating I see that as my father being a little bit of a hypocrite So I'm wondering is my father just trying to make sure I don't make the mistake of moving too fast like he did?
Im here because this is whats happening to right now
I'm dating an Italian I'm half Australian half Maori and they say they do approve of me but I don't feel like they do like they don't cause most times they have an argument with there son there are like oh you shouldn't date her she isn't Italian now I've dated him for the passed year and a half and everyone else in his family does like me but the issue I have are his mum and dad They either don't like me cause of my cultures or don't like me cause of what my family are involved in or don't like me cause I'm not exactly rich and cause I don't feel like I can say how I feel to his parents I end up snapping and going off at my bf cause I feel like his parents have put a drift between me and him
I'm in this exact situation right now and it's sad to see a Hispanic woman with a black man and her family or one of their families don't like each .. that's never a good thing that's why I'm about to call it quits with my relationship today because her family just absolutely does not like me for some reason ... 😢b
I’m dating a guy I’m in middle school and we’ve been together for 7 months now and I have one more class to end middle school and go highschool and my mom doesn’t want me to still have this relationship to highschool bc she thinks that I won’t find a better guy but he’s the besT and I love him sm and I don’t wanna break him up what to do????Thanks
I come across this channel. Because am going through this now, she said her parents won’t like me because am black. I feel so low because I can’t understand that in 2022. they said am a good person but am black. Crazy innit
This helping a lot i maybe a while to forgive my parents what they did to me and my boyfriend but thank u 😊😊😊
I couldn't deal with my boyfriend parents they made me do alot of things in the house while im still pregnant i couldn't stand living their my boyfriend and i we known each other since babies my mom and his mom were close friend until my mom relize when she was young she was a bad woman and his dad always get this attitude from his father but me and him we think is best i stay in my mom house until we move out
My mother and father were highschool sweetheart and their relationship was very bad and involved abuse and cheating and all that so now I’m in a highschool relationship we’re putting God inside our relationship meaning we’re waiting for marriage and pray a lot about it but my mom keeps on saying that he’ll treat me just like how my father treated her and I have been doing all in my power to make sure that my relationship doesn’t get that way but she insists that it’s gonna end that way and it bugs me bc it’s not true like my relationship and my parents is so different even tho we met in highschool just like how my parents met can someone give me advice Please I’m starting to lose hope but my heart is telling me not to yk
@@dalidacm140 no offense but I’m glad you aren’t talking to your mom instead of brushing it off and still being associated with her. That’ll let her know that you’re not just someone to be pushed around and that you have boundaries
@@dalidacm140 This is all the Answer you need. If you have seen that your values are aligned with the guy and he is compatible please dont let go. Above all if You have an inner peace giving you the signal of going ahead, then do. Just don't be rude to you parent but let them understand it's your choice no theirs.
If your spirit and heart is telling you not to….don’t! Have faith and as long as you keep God FIRST in your relationships….that’s all that matters. Always have your significant other’s back! Speaking from experience….God Bless you sweetheart 💖✨
Race is in mine and what’s crazy is a few weeks ago we were talking one night that morning I wake up he changed his number he blocked me everywhere so I had a dream revelation and it was his sister who made everyone dislike me I also was told by my healer and a complete stranger that’s she is so proud of what she did idk what to do his Mexican and mixed but was adopted by white folks and I’m Mexican so I’m so devastated and confused…
Thanks to you both
Thanks For Watching!
I struggle with this because my parents have a very successful marriage but at the same time they were big school sweet hearts and have no idea what it’s like on my end trying to date at my age when they have always had someone for much of their life
Great advice
She's fine
I just have the fear that my parents won’t like her. My parents are extremely anti drug/vaping but she does that stuff(not a ton, maybe just something like 1/2 times a week). My mom has told me multiple times how I will never see the light of day if I vape. They also have extremely high expectations for me(90 percent average yields a meh from them) and I’m afraid it will carry over to her. She has a partial plan for her future while mine is almost completely planned. Am I worrying over nothing or what should I do. I really want this to work but I also don’t want to disappoint my parents. Thanks for reading, please help
talk with your partner, you need a good communication with her and tell all stuff that bothers u especially about her vices
Vaping, really? Lol. Sounds like the typical random micro focus of any family. Vaping or the lack thereof is not what life is about. Also it's usually just a phase. Focus on the important stuff: do you have similar values and vision for the future, how is your communication and are your characteristics compatable? Are they trying to point to any of these actual worries, for example suggesting your partner is not equally ambitious; and evaluate whether there's truth in that.
In accordance to the word of God
Is it good for the lady to get married to a man of her choice without the acceptance of any of the family member
Lucky ion have to deal with this
I made a mistake, i came home drunk one night from being out with my girlfriend. My grandma got mad as she should it’s understandable but i’m also 18 and i make mistakes. She blamed it all on my girlfriend when it was my choice to drink. And now i’m not allowed to see her or even talk to her at school(she told the principal to keep us apart) reason for that is because she’s almost 16 and we sent stuff to each other and now i can’t even talk to her anymore. It’s so painful because my grandma had this terrible image of my girlfriend. I just wish i went back and did stuff different.
What is you’re wife ethnic background? Thought she was Indian
From 3:05 to 5:45 🎯
What if..like my parents don't want to meet the guy I like and have been telling them about him, I haven't said anything bad but they refuse to meet him and don't want to know him. But they continue to tell me they don't know him, but they don't want to know him. So I think it is confusing to me? I just don't understand this is the first relationship that I had ever told my parents about and they refuse to meet him and get to know him. And I was upset with the fact that I said "you guys should meet him". How do I deal with that?
Depends how old you are. It depends WHY they dont want you to meet this guy. Is it hes another race, another "class", another level of education...etc...
It all depends on where you are in life.... are you young? Pre college, graduate? Adult in workforce? Or 30 or 40...etc...
I am 23 years old, middle child, always was responsible and had good grades and amazing behaviour. But somehow during my childhood, I used to feel left aside, maybe middle child effects... but my father also was very strict. I am from Portugal and after graduating Economics, I started working immediately in Siemens, and I already have an effective contract. He is my first real boyfriend and the first I want to introduce to my family, but he is angolan, and they say I will suffer from racism and they don't cooperate with our relationship. He is smart, humble and sweet and also has a job and he's taking a master degree (we met in Portugal when he came to do Erasmus of Economics degree also), We'll be 5 years of relationship this december and this is still an issue which breaks my heart. When you don't want to meet, it is because you already are being racist, but they say they aren't. Also, they put my siblings against me and they have already met him some years ago and liked him. It's just being really hard to deal with this. I can count only with his support, he is always there for me and gives me advices on what or not do. We plan to save money and buy a home together. With the pandemic, I ended leaving a rent house in the city I work and came back to my parents house and I do homeoffice, which was good for saving but bad for the bad environment cause I go visit him once and in a while (3 hours away by car/train) - he left his country 1 year ago to be with me, he is in Portugal also studying and working, he doesn't see his family for 1 year and it kills me inside cause I wanted to provide him a family :( We are willing to fight until the end.
@@whatlifeisabout girl I do not ever comment on TH-cam but we should be friends because the same thing is happening to me right now, I’m sure we could give each other advice ❤️
@@natty3938 hello, sure, thanks for that.
@@natty3938 hello, sure, thanks for that.
What do you do when you’ve been married for some years and your family loves your spouse but your spouses family doesn’t like you and even after so many years it’s still the same way.... is it wrong to be tired of it and question whether I should leave or not? It’s been 6 years that we’ve been married and it’s tough. I wanna stay married to my Husband but should I stay dealing with this forever?
Here’s my advice you didn’t date to marry his family those are there demons not yours. If you keep worrying about how family feel your going to be a lonely person. True we want our family to like our mates but its not going always work In our favor.
You married him .not his family . Alot of the time .His family could be jealous of him . And could be trying to break y'all up... Family isn't always positive either.
It’s not wrong to be tired of feeling like that. You’re a human and have needs that need to be met. On the other hand you’re not married his family, you’re married to him. So that all that matters. Don’t let anybody, and I mean anybody come between your relationship, even if it’s family because at the end of the day they’re just normal people to anybody else and should be treated like as such in certain situations
Am dating a guy and my family doesn't want him. They're like " after paying school fees for you, going to good school didn't you find a guy of your class?" So my mom is not at peace with me, my siblings because the guy does not have the same education level as i am. I have been praying to God telling him that if he himself does not approve it, then let him part our ways but if he approves, let him show me a sign. Am not happy
I am in a similar situation with my significant other to break it down briefly, I’m trying to figure out someway for her to stay here in the US permanently and trying to find whatever form of assistance. That way she can be here with me and my family, and everyone keeps saying that she’s using me manipulating me applying pressure on me but actuality, I do see this as a possibility, I want to do things correctly the right way instead of taking shortcuts and the thing is she’s been living with me at my family’s house for a while now and has a whole bunch of drama and bullshit between everybody and I think it’s best that I find my own space with her honest to God I need help someone please help me in this TH-cam algorithm I just want everyone to get along and be in peace. I’ve been trying to compromise so both sides can be happy my girlfriend and my family and it’s really hard. ☹️😕
Me and my wife being going through this for 7 year old we ever have a daughter and they still giving her hell, no wat what we do they don’t care.😢
Well, I just lost the love of my life to his parents wishes! 💔 Hurts like hell.
He didn't love u than I'm sorry :(
Am also going into the same situation I was rejected by my boy friend's family because am Hiv positive yet am treatment.
Question: I'm in a situation where my partner went to his family with our relationship issues. He was not honest about the details as it was a sensitive subject, and now his family has generated the opinion that he should leave me, they will not stay in our home we have built together when they come for a visit and so on. We have been trying to work on our relationship by communicating which has been going well, but I tried my best to build a relationship with his family and am heartbroken knowing that their answer to the information he told them was to leave me (although not surprising as the info was one-sided), and I am having a hard time letting go of the fact that they want their son to leave me. I am not sure I am comfortable with them anyone. I don't want to cook for them or have them in my home anymore since my partner told me that they don't want to be here and think he should leave me (He has started inviting them over for dinner and they have agreed for now). Should I let go of my feelings towards his family and create space for them and extend the "Olive branch"? Am I being petty or irrational in my thought process? My relationship is with him, not his family, but we plan on having children and if his parents go to is for him to leave me, I am not sure building a family is a wise choice.
Advice?
I feel you on this. My partner told me he wanted to postpone the wedding because of financial incapabilities, and I completely understood and didn't shut him down immediately. But I was thinking of my side of the situation where my family and I've been planning the wedding every day for the last 10 months. That took time, energy and a lot of money, and we've prepared everything from A-Z except the wedding documents that need to be settled. I'm the eldest in my family and will be the 1st grandchild to get married. So, with this information I've received from him, I felt confused and scared to disappoint my family as they were really supportive and excited to be planning it to perfection. He mentioned he needed more time to explain both families. Still, I was responsible for telling my parents as I didn't want to pressure myself since we were still discussing preparations. We had talks here and there. Still, it was limited to either texting or calling since he was working and I had classes. Until he became unresponsive, I felt confused and alone for days. But I discovered he had discussed this with his sister before, so I wasn't the first to know. None of them reached out to me and perhaps even thought of holding a discussion so we could talk and decide on a mutual agreement. Then, I decided to give back the things he had given me and the engagement rings (without really saying I wanted to break off the engagement, my intention was to see how he would react or at least talk to me because, at this point, we hadn't seen each other in almost a week and he hadn't replied to my texts. Basically, I was talking to a wall. I felt it was valid for me to feel rage since I thought I was picking up the pieces on my own when I didn't start anything). Only then he told his family what had happened, and they got triggered enough to be saying things about me solely based on the texts I'd sent privately to him. Imagine 24/7 for about a week just texting and texting and not getting any responses at all... I was furious! I'm aware that I might have said the wrong things or things I didn't mean to. Knowing his family is very opinionated and doesn't really see his best interests in im feels discouraging. I've been with him for 4 years, and until last week, I felt like I wasn't being loved by him and that his entire family probably hates me now. In my texts, I mentioned that I couldn't respect his mom if she didn't respect him and that I disagreed with how his family supported this without regard for my family or me. One thing about my partner is that he doesn't really receive love from his own. He is there only for convenience and gets shut down compared to his other siblings (he's basically like a black sheep, and this is not my opinion, as other friends and relatives can vouch for this. I've seen it first-hand, and it saddens me that he gets mistreated by his own kind, so everything I've said was in full regard to him only. I didn't name-call or bitched about his family at all). I understand we're both really messy on this, but I feel I've been wholly disregarded and unfair. I know I had the right to be angry and sad, but I also agree that I didn't handle this professionally on my end. He's completely silent and not reassuring or taking accountability for his actions. From a 4 year relationship, seeing the good and the bad of his family by suppressing it all, swallowed it whole, and in just one week, it came crashing down. For his family to say it's unfair to them for my actions is understandable, but I felt unfair even way before that, and it didn't get justified :( I love him so much, and I'm willing to do anything for him to live a more comfortable life filled with nothing but love. It's just now I'm dealing with the family when I least expected it to happen just because I might've hurt their feelings. Are my feelings being noticed as well, or is it wholly thrown off of the narrative in the first place? The bottom line, I've yet to wait to find out whether he still has feelings for me and whether he loves me or not.
Don’t entertain them at all if they make you feel that way. Let him do that since he wanted to invite them following what happened.
I hope this reaches someone who can help me and this girl worked together and became friends down the line we started liking each other and ended up going on dates , later on I found out she is my friends sister so i build up the confidence to ask him for permissions and when I asked he said no. I don't want to cross the line and secondly we want to date but she won't date me unless her brother says yes, they are Indian and I am hispanic ,he said that there parents are very religious and they also hated his hispanic girl friend at the time it got to him and they broke up im stuck and dont know what to do.
For me this is hard situation but I made my mind
I'm 21 he is 22 and his parents love me like her own daughter but my parents wants the reputation like good school studies and money
But I don't want money he was very understanding we had 2yr relationship secretly . Now I'm choosing him. Because for my parents I'm like a burdner they always telling me to marry what we choose to u but I can't do that
I want someone to truly tell me, does it get better?
I ask lord for acceptance in my love relationship with my love Josue Antonio Chavez and that my kids Antonio and Rosaura to stop negative thoughts and hate for my love relationship with my love Josue Antonio Chavez that they ask for forgiveness with him my man to jus stop being negative and accept my love and my life with my love lord touch my kids heart that they stop controlling me and let go amen
Shit my girl parents don’t like me cuz I’m not a black guy and they known me sense I was 16 before we went out and I’m 23 now
I been with my girl for 7yrs and her family didn't like me from day not even giving me a chance for them to get to know me . they spreading lies about me risking my freedom and i tells her to stop being around them but she doesn't listen to me its like they right and im wrong and sometimes i feel like im loseing my mind and i don't know what to do they got her 3kids against me for no reason
That’s very hard to deal with I’m sorry you’re going through that. You need to have a talk with her tho because if you feel like she’s choosing her family over you then that needs to be voice. It shouldn’t be one over the other. It should be right from wrong.
My brothers never approve of my partners and always scare them away it sucks and it hurts
👋
Ihave an older boyfriend and none of my family never even met him and assume hes a predator when he isn't! I don't know what to do!
I am in a tough situation rn
Am in a situation where his parents rejected me cause of my family
This video 🔥
I really need some help with my situation. My Indian parents told me to break things off with my Nigerian girlfriend. We've been together for only 4 months but we're very much in love. I don't want to lose her. Im not breaking up with her no matter what. But I still live with my family. What should I do?🥺
Be a man and stand strong . You can’t marry your family. But your girlfriend can become your wife and can help give you a family of your own.
ur dating him not ur family
Sometimes I'm sad because his family not accept me n my relationship n I'm scare evertime but how I cant do that 💔😞😥
Hard when you have kids
You ain’t got to like me 😘
I can’t with my girlfriends mom anymore ngl, as much as I try to respect her mom- her mom has never respected me or my girl. It hurts badly, the only reason why her mom doesn’t like me is because she doesn’t want a girl dating her daughter. If I was a dude It’ll be more different..Her mom is the reason why I can’t be there with my girlfriend though it is possibly that I can take a plane to come see her but that’s when the mom gets in the way. My girlfriend and I been together for 4 years now (we’re in a long distance relationship) and every time her mom catches her talking to me- her mom would take away her phone for at least a month or more and it hurt us both badly because everyday I missed her here with me..Yet I’m so happy my girlfriend always comes back because that shows how much she loves me. The real messed up part is that my girlfriend knows I’m real, she knows my age too, and her mom tried to lie saying “oh no she’s this age, has a relationship with someone else,” and so on. (Ofc my girlfriend never believed that because she knows me damn well) and my girlfriend’s dad was going to accept us but her mom lied about me to him and now they both hate me. This one time I was messaging my girl, her mom saw over her shoulder, and her mom took it and started messaging me saying”I’ll put you in jail, I’ll call the cops on you” (the cops were never called + idk why she would even call the cops because I didn’t do nothing- and her mom tried to switch up my girlfriend’s name with a different name..) It sucked ngl yet my girlfriend and I still love each other deeply. And on that honey moon phase- oo I got so use to my girlfriend always being there with me, texting me daily, calling me all day (almost daily) and then one day wake up and she barley is doing that anymore, she seemed more distant and I gave her time and space yk and then she’ll come back as if nothing ever happened..She would respond less, respond later on, not be as loving and affectionate and just idk- she seemed more different than what she use to be, though now she’s told me she was dealing with family issues, trauma, and just busy with school and told me that she felt weight on her because she feels like everyone expects her to do everything and it hurt. I missed her old self yet I want her to be okay most of all and understand her better. (Sorry this is long, I had a lot to say)
Hey, im going through the exact same situation right now and its breaking me. Would you want to talk about it?
My baby daddy and I got into a real bad fight months ago. His family hates me now. I don’t give a damn.
I'm hoping, you guys Reply to my question here we go , I met a guy on facebook , he's a Nigerian, first ever one I told that I'm interested in this guy is telling me about the reputation about Nigerians eg: (catfish).We have been talking for 3 months now , he has never ask me for money.the real problem is my Aunt whom I love and respect. One day I let him greet her, (which she said he roll his eyes at her in a disrespectful way while talking to her) so I said I don't know him to be a rude person and I will call him to find out why would he do something like that....... So my aunt said , I shouldn't look for clarity I suppose to believe what she said, since I only met they resently and I know her all my life. She said I choosing him over her.he have been a nice guy so far, my auntie said she's very hurt because he disrespect her and I'm still talking to him. Please 🥺 I need your advice. Btw I'm from the Caribbean.
You should try to explain that perhaps it was a miscommunication and physical cues can sometimes be misinterpreted. You should talk to the Nigerian man and ask him to re introduce with maybe a apology saying it was completely intentional which would clear the air a little bit. If ur Aunty still does not like him or approve of him...I can’t help but think she has some personal reasons as to why she’s being so un-accepting, at the end of the day you are the one who communicates with him daily not your aunt and it is your call because your happiness comes above everything. Carry on talking to him and overtime judge his character based on your own personal observations on him :)
Good luck x
@@anaravirani2493 thanks I really appreciate your response,my Auntie keep coming up with more reasons as to why I shouldn't give this guy a try. I don't want to lose him nor my Auntie in the process. She said she doesn't like him for me.
my current boyfriend is an addict
and my parents know about it
and they believe that it isnt right for me to date him because i could get "wrapped up in it"
but i know i wont
and my parents think he's just like my abuser which hurts me so fucking much
zie's different, i know it
he knows not to pressure me and checks if what zie's saying is triggering
and i love him so much for that
my abuser never did any of that
in fact he told me he was going to end his life if i didnt agree with the shit he said
my boyfriend is nothing like that
sure his coping mechanisms may be harmful, but he cant control it
and im not in this relationship to be his savior either
im in this relationship because i love him
besides, i dont have any interest in drugs or whatever
and it hurts that my family cant see that
i saw my dad cry for the first time in a long time too because of it
it hurts me that im hurting them for simply loving someone
If he treats you good and you both love each other then that all that matters. But I do think that he needs some help if he’s an addict. You never know what could happen so I suggest talking to him and trying to get the help that he needs. He has to want that for himself tho to truly get better. And if at any point it’s starting to effect you and you know it then you should reevaluate and do better for yourself. I hope I didn’t offend you
@@h20aquarius Rubbish, people forget that having a stable mind is more important than love or how attractive a person is. What if one day that fella overdoes it and never wakes up, love doesn't cure addiction.
@@myballsitchsomethingfierce6319 The problem is that can be literally any of us. If they get help that’s what shows they are dedicated if they aren’t willing then it may be time to step away.
My ex broke up with me because his parents can't get over the fact that I have a child and we want to be together..
I’m going through this right now, how did it go for you? This is so hurtful
Hi Queen Bee, we actually got back together and we still together I just helped him realize that it's his life and it's his decision and he should make his own choices in life, and he stood up to his parents and told them what he wants in a respectful manner of course and they respected his decision. I know how hurtful it is, I really don't get why it has to go that you know, but you should help him know that it's his life that he has to live and make decisions on and for, I really hope that things will work out for you, but it is really his responsibility to make life decisions for himself not his parents. Good luck honey, keep me posted 🤞
Oh wow thanks for replying and I’m so happy for you 😍🙏🏽, you know I tried making him see the fact that it’s his life and his decision to make, but at the same time I don’t want to look desperate, persuading him to take a stand.
However, I’ve left everything in the hands of God, I’m just tired 😪. I’ll keep you posted C V.
Best of wishes to you and yours❤️❤️❤️
Same. coz i have a child and im older than him. His mom doenst approve of.. so ya, myabe it is fate... :(
Runnn
SK❤️
If you are committing fornication you can expect the relationship not to last.
My ex girlfriend family been talking bad about me and they shouldnt be interfere with our relationship so mess up..
They backed off so im happy now 😊 no more problems amen.
@Larry Turner I just told who ever 😆
@@quentinbohannon4089 how did you do it?
My partner of two years broke up with me because his parents disapproves me
I'm so sorry. A person who truly loves u won't give up on u even though there parents disapproved u
OOnce you are leagally an adult, I believe that parents should not get a vote.
Probably because you spell “doesn’t” wrong in your thumbnails…
Is bre Indian?
Sounds like her family just didn't want him for you. I suspect it boils down to race.
It also boils down because some parents don't want there kids to be happy. They see it as u taking there daughter or son away from them.