For me, most people are just okay when I look at them but the more I like someone as a person, the more attractive I find them. So yeah, perhaps you could call it a friend at first because that's what it is.
Love is blind makes me so mad because they act like the “experiment” hinges on the original dates in the pod not the fact that they have to marry someone they’ve known for like a month. It should be called love is fast.
3:58 Its does make sense. I'm like that. I call seeing a "person in movement" (sounds better in portuguese lol) but basically yap, a picture can't possible capture all the person's charms!
Maybe this is ignorant of me but I think it is genuinely very funny that Love is Blind ignores the fact that some people are *actually* blind and is like “what if you couldn’t SEE the person you are on a date with” like YA WHAT IF 🗣️🗣️🗣️ If only SOMEONE had some insight on this… soo la voo I guess.
I don't watch Love is Blind so I can't comment on the show specifically, but as a blind person myself let me chime in with a few points. Obviously I can't cover everything in one comment, as this debate has many moving parts (no pun intended.) First off, an individual who is blind is still an individual, and will still have their own preferences. The way someone looks may not be your first priority when you can't see them or spot them in a crowd, so sure, you will be judging them primarily on their personality when getting to know them. However, physical appearance is still part of the package, and will eventually play a role in how you perceive them. Whether it's the smell of the cologne or perfume they wear or the sound of their voice, those are still physical traits. And even if you don't care about physique, how they carry themselves and take care of themselves will sway you. If someone has a great personality but has bad hygiene (doesn't shower , has bad breath, doesn't wash their private parts etc.), you will notice. Plus, regardless of whether or not you've had sight before, you can still have your own type, and be as shallow or open-minded as anyone else. Height, weight, nationality, hair and eye colour, athletic or non-athletic, big breasts, big butt, long legs, anything. These things usually take a back seat for me and play a more secondary or supporting role, but for someone else they might be smash or pass. If I've missed anything let me know.
@@jeffreyrainey1015 this was helpful! It was pretty well along the lines of what I had figured since those are a lot of the factors involved outside of sight for people with sight too. Thank you for taking your time to provide some information on this! You certainly didn’t have to and I appreciate when it greatly. And good that you don’t watch- this show sucks please do not watch it lol.
@@foxfoxelliott No problem at all. The more this conversation gets into the mainstream the better off we'll be as a society. - Or something like that - lol. Plus, you learn new things about yourself the more you grow and the more your relationships develop. For example a woman's height isn't a big deal to me, but my girlfriend and I are around the same height and it's hot as hell. I love having her on my arm. I know some guys would write off the tall girl. Funnily enough, when I saw the title I thought it was going to be about having blinders on when you're in love. Haha.
the bachelor with masks you came up with is like the netflix dating show sexy beasts, where they got put in practical effects animal makeup for the dates lol. idk how that worked out in the long run but it's interesting concept
for me physical attraction is absolutely crucial. I'm gray ace so i have to be deeply sexually attracted to someone to actually _be_ attracted to someone. it's quite unfortunate because I've met people who were lovely and kind and we really meshed intelectually but i was just not physically attracted to them at all so I lost out on a potentially great match. on the flipside, if I'm physically attracted to someone I can ignore a lot of incompatibilities because my brain is like "awooga! 😍"
Guys, truly, your podcast helps me a lot with falling asleep. It allows me to distract from intrusive thoughts as I lay in bed. I recently started binging from the first episode, as I can't afford Patreon and I'm running out of happy, long form options. Just wanted to let you know - you're great.
@@EbyKat He does. Only because he didn't name the experience doesn't mean it wasn't acknowledged in other ways. He basically said the definition of demi without saying the name.I mean you could point that out but judging by your other comments you really didn't get the video's pov... Also, it's not obligatory to speak to all experiences every time in a context that they weren't outright rude to anyone else. Anyway, it's ok if you didn't vibe with this one but then projecting stuff onto JBU is another thing. Take a deep breath, fr.
@@EbyKatJfc... Have we watched the same video? Or even worse, have you watched the video at all? LISTEN to what Gabe said at 1:40. He freaking includes aro/ace in the discussion. It's another thing if you disagree with his and Alison's assessments, but stop with this "erasure" bs, has no place in this specific video. Pick your freaking battles ffs.
I feel like a major flaw with the love is blind experiment is that this format just lets people create these huge stories or pictures in their head of who their person is without ever seeing them in person, or seeing them in the real world. Looks aside, I feel like that alone is recipe for disaster.
I struggle with acne scars and textured skin (I've been getting treatment for them lately, like fillers and laser treatments because I live in Korea and it's a lot cheaper here) It's kind of caused me a complex and years of self-esteem issues. I can't remember any man ever calling me pretty (girls have, but out of obligation. guys have complimented what I'm wearing or my eyes). Lately, a few older guys who are married/not in the game have insisted that my look is fine and it's the real me and it suits me, etc. etc. etc. and it's like y'all can say that because you've no horse in the race. You're married/in a ltr with conventionally attractive women, so anything you say is what you know to be true in a human sense, but were you single and you had a choice, you would not ever, ever, EVER choose me. I have been the one not chosen soooooo many times. The worst feeling in the world is meeting someone from an app and seeing them be visibly disappointed meeting irl (even though I don't even use filters! I just know my angles). I also have a hard personality, but if I was attractive, people would work through my hard personality to get to know me. Being unattractive means that no one thinks I'm worth the effort. It's like, do I sacrifice my principles to fit in (i'm 35, not a high schooler) or do I just stay single for another 35 years and be ugly in peace?
anyway, i typed that as I'm sitting here holding an ice pack to my face because I just got fat dissolving injections and a laser treatment and my whole face feels like it's on fire.
I'm talking to a guy who lives quite far away from me. We've been talking for 3 weeks and we will meet in one month. So far he seems like the most compatible person to me I've ever met (it's not his "game", I can tell that just from his Instagram. He's also not love bombing me, no drama etc.). I'm very nervous that there won't be any physical attraction for me. His looks is very much on the edge for me. It might go both ways. Fingers crossed 🤞
I found that the more fond memories I make with such people, the more I am attracted to their physical appearance. Good luck and hope you enjoy each other. :)
That's how I feel about my new bf. We've been dating for about a month and he's BY FAR the healthiest relationship I've had. However, his looks are very meh. I'm trying to ignore that and look at the entire package, and I feel confident that the looks being important will eventually pass. We all get old and ugly eventually, the trick is finding someone who is truly compatible.
@@SaltySteff I don't know... Maybe that's too extreme of an approach. For me it's like this: I have definitely been attracted to less handsome men and I also had a boyfriend for a few months that all my girl friends thought was hot but he was not my type (also personality-wise) and I was ultimately not attracted to him, no matter how hard I tried, and I had to break up. And the guy I'm talking to right now is cute, but not very conventionally handsome. So his movements, behavior etc. will be the make it or break it factor.
I think that it’s a spectrum that intersects with personal perception. So each individual has their own level of how much looks matter and what they think may be visually attractive to them.
Cannot imagine trying to force myself to date someone I'm not attracted to like that. People can say it's shallow all they want but it's not lol. I don't feel it would be all that self loving of me to settle when I know the kind of person I'm attracted to, and that I've pulled that kind of person before. I will wait for the right person that I am attracted to, it's not a big deal
Agreed. I don't have a problem hearing Gabe, but Allison's voice is quite echo-y, which is a shame because I love hearing all Allison's wisdom. I can't figure it out though because they both look about the same distance from the mic.
I am so ridiculously demisexual lol while I definitely CAN be immediately physically attracted to someone, it will never be more than a FWB situation if there isn’t a deeper emotional connection. Meanwhile, if the deep emotional connection is there, partners BECOME physically attractive to me over time. This weirdly means my “type” is an emotional profile rather than a physical one.
That's pretty cool. How do you sus out if a person's personality is what you're looking for? Do you think it takes longer for than for others, or do you knock out all the things you're looking for super quickly so you don't waste time? I must say, if I was able to just consider personality, I definitely wouldn't have dated some peole or I would've broken things off with them wayy sooner than I did 😅
Im demisexual so people's physical attractiveness doesnt factor very highly into whether i want to date them. I have to feel emotionally connected to them first. Celebrity crushes always seemed very strange to me...like yes theyre conventionally attractive but you only see a PR version of them so how could you possibly want to sleep with them? I get it now, but as a teenager i did a lot of pretending to have crushes that i did not actually have 😅 Im also autistic so it could be that i was interpretting it all too literally.
I wanna promote my favourite podcast 'Aliens watching Reality TV" two neurodivergent people breaking down their thoughts on love is blind and other reality tv shows
i know that with me, that when i like someone romantically, then the physical attraction comes after. Don't get me wrong, I need the physical attraction. But i can think someone is hot af, then they turn out to be arseholes, so the physical attraction goes away. Like COMPLETELY. and i can think that someone looks fine, then i get to know them, and its like, holy hell, they are HOT
Y’all…. Demisexual people exist. I’ve dated plenty of non traditionally attractive people. Rejecting people’s lived experience is uncool and something I expect from people in their 20’s.
Whenever I see comments like this on ppls videos 9 times outta 10 the audio is totally fine. I would hate to be a TH-camr or podcaster. Y’all are so high maintenance sometimes
@@rioclemmons4094Normally I would agree with you, but jbu is a channel that seems to struggle audio-wise. I hope they can fix it because I wish to hear all the jokes and wisdom!
@@craigjenkins5434 maybe my hearing is just amazing. I could hear them no problem playing it on my iPhone speakers. Really don’t know what people are talking about
If there's someone you really like and want to spend time with but are not attracted to... isn't that a friend?
Depends! Some asexual relationships can look this way! Can’t really speak on it but Angela Chen explains it well.
For me, most people are just okay when I look at them but the more I like someone as a person, the more attractive I find them. So yeah, perhaps you could call it a friend at first because that's what it is.
The exact problem w my past relationship lol. Sometimes there’s no attraction and that means a friend should stay a friend.
Love is blind makes me so mad because they act like the “experiment” hinges on the original dates in the pod not the fact that they have to marry someone they’ve known for like a month. It should be called love is fast.
EXACTLYYY
For me, the physical attraction comes from the emotional/mental attraction. Who someone is drastically affects the way I visually perceive them.
+
this! by the time i’m attracted to them, i’m now attracted them physically even if i wasn’t initially
3:58 Its does make sense. I'm like that. I call seeing a "person in movement" (sounds better in portuguese lol) but basically yap, a picture can't possible capture all the person's charms!
Maybe this is ignorant of me but I think it is genuinely very funny that Love is Blind ignores the fact that some people are *actually* blind and is like “what if you couldn’t SEE the person you are on a date with” like YA WHAT IF 🗣️🗣️🗣️ If only SOMEONE had some insight on this… soo la voo I guess.
So true lol never thought of that
I don't watch Love is Blind so I can't comment on the show specifically, but as a blind person myself let me chime in with a few points. Obviously I can't cover everything in one comment, as this debate has many moving parts (no pun intended.)
First off, an individual who is blind is still an individual, and will still have their own preferences. The way someone looks may not be your first priority when you can't see them or spot them in a crowd, so sure, you will be judging them primarily on their personality when getting to know them. However, physical appearance is still part of the package, and will eventually play a role in how you perceive them. Whether it's the smell of the cologne or perfume they wear or the sound of their voice, those are still physical traits. And even if you don't care about physique, how they carry themselves and take care of themselves will sway you. If someone has a great personality but has bad hygiene (doesn't shower
, has bad breath, doesn't wash their private parts etc.), you will notice.
Plus, regardless of whether or not you've had sight before, you can still have your own type, and be as shallow or open-minded as anyone else. Height, weight, nationality, hair and eye colour, athletic or non-athletic, big breasts, big butt, long legs, anything. These things usually take a back seat for me and play a more secondary or supporting role, but for someone else they might be smash or pass. If I've missed anything let me know.
@@jeffreyrainey1015 this was helpful! It was pretty well along the lines of what I had figured since those are a lot of the factors involved outside of sight for people with sight too. Thank you for taking your time to provide some information on this! You certainly didn’t have to and I appreciate when it greatly. And good that you don’t watch- this show sucks please do not watch it lol.
@@foxfoxelliott No problem at all. The more this conversation gets into the mainstream the better off we'll be as a society. - Or something like that - lol. Plus, you learn new things about yourself the more you grow and the more your relationships develop. For example a woman's height isn't a big deal to me, but my girlfriend and I are around the same height and it's hot as hell. I love having her on my arm. I know some guys would write off the tall girl. Funnily enough, when I saw the title I thought it was going to be about having blinders on when you're in love. Haha.
"Did you shower?" c'mon... it's Allison
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the bachelor with masks you came up with is like the netflix dating show sexy beasts, where they got put in practical effects animal makeup for the dates lol. idk how that worked out in the long run but it's interesting concept
Was looking to see if someone commented this 😂
That sounds like heaven for furries.
I like the pink cozies y'all are wearing
for me physical attraction is absolutely crucial. I'm gray ace so i have to be deeply sexually attracted to someone to actually _be_ attracted to someone. it's quite unfortunate because I've met people who were lovely and kind and we really meshed intelectually but i was just not physically attracted to them at all so I lost out on a potentially great match. on the flipside, if I'm physically attracted to someone I can ignore a lot of incompatibilities because my brain is like "awooga! 😍"
Guys, truly, your podcast helps me a lot with falling asleep. It allows me to distract from intrusive thoughts as I lay in bed. I recently started binging from the first episode, as I can't afford Patreon and I'm running out of happy, long form options.
Just wanted to let you know - you're great.
1:05 What Gabe is saying here is sooo true! Many people say that but have never even h00ked up with someone who is not on the "beauty standard".
Gave apparently doesn’t know demisexual people exist
@@EbyKat He does. Only because he didn't name the experience doesn't mean it wasn't acknowledged in other ways. He basically said the definition of demi without saying the name.I mean you could point that out but judging by your other comments you really didn't get the video's pov...
Also, it's not obligatory to speak to all experiences every time in a context that they weren't outright rude to anyone else. Anyway, it's ok if you didn't vibe with this one but then projecting stuff onto JBU is another thing. Take a deep breath, fr.
@@grmgt supporting ace erasure isn't a vibe.
@@EbyKatJfc... Have we watched the same video? Or even worse, have you watched the video at all? LISTEN to what Gabe said at 1:40. He freaking includes aro/ace in the discussion. It's another thing if you disagree with his and Alison's assessments, but stop with this "erasure" bs, has no place in this specific video. Pick your freaking battles ffs.
A new video already? Incredible!
I feel like a major flaw with the love is blind experiment is that this format just lets people create these huge stories or pictures in their head of who their person is without ever seeing them in person, or seeing them in the real world. Looks aside, I feel like that alone is recipe for disaster.
Agreed. It's kind of self defeating in that sense, because it breeds more caricatures and tropes based on people's preconceived notions.
I struggle with acne scars and textured skin (I've been getting treatment for them lately, like fillers and laser treatments because I live in Korea and it's a lot cheaper here) It's kind of caused me a complex and years of self-esteem issues. I can't remember any man ever calling me pretty (girls have, but out of obligation. guys have complimented what I'm wearing or my eyes).
Lately, a few older guys who are married/not in the game have insisted that my look is fine and it's the real me and it suits me, etc. etc. etc. and it's like y'all can say that because you've no horse in the race. You're married/in a ltr with conventionally attractive women, so anything you say is what you know to be true in a human sense, but were you single and you had a choice, you would not ever, ever, EVER choose me. I have been the one not chosen soooooo many times. The worst feeling in the world is meeting someone from an app and seeing them be visibly disappointed meeting irl (even though I don't even use filters! I just know my angles).
I also have a hard personality, but if I was attractive, people would work through my hard personality to get to know me. Being unattractive means that no one thinks I'm worth the effort. It's like, do I sacrifice my principles to fit in (i'm 35, not a high schooler) or do I just stay single for another 35 years and be ugly in peace?
anyway, i typed that as I'm sitting here holding an ice pack to my face because I just got fat dissolving injections and a laser treatment and my whole face feels like it's on fire.
I'm talking to a guy who lives quite far away from me. We've been talking for 3 weeks and we will meet in one month. So far he seems like the most compatible person to me I've ever met (it's not his "game", I can tell that just from his Instagram. He's also not love bombing me, no drama etc.). I'm very nervous that there won't be any physical attraction for me. His looks is very much on the edge for me. It might go both ways. Fingers crossed 🤞
I found that the more fond memories I make with such people, the more I am attracted to their physical appearance.
Good luck and hope you enjoy each other. :)
That's how I feel about my new bf. We've been dating for about a month and he's BY FAR the healthiest relationship I've had. However, his looks are very meh. I'm trying to ignore that and look at the entire package, and I feel confident that the looks being important will eventually pass. We all get old and ugly eventually, the trick is finding someone who is truly compatible.
The physical attraction will come with everything else! Please update us on how it goes!!
@@SaltySteff I don't know... Maybe that's too extreme of an approach. For me it's like this: I have definitely been attracted to less handsome men and I also had a boyfriend for a few months that all my girl friends thought was hot but he was not my type (also personality-wise) and I was ultimately not attracted to him, no matter how hard I tried, and I had to break up.
And the guy I'm talking to right now is cute, but not very conventionally handsome. So his movements, behavior etc. will be the make it or break it factor.
@immoderately so fair! We're all different, and the looks/personality ratio we need to be with someone also varies. Hope it goes well🤞
I think that it’s a spectrum that intersects with personal perception. So each individual has their own level of how much looks matter and what they think may be visually attractive to them.
Cannot imagine trying to force myself to date someone I'm not attracted to like that. People can say it's shallow all they want but it's not lol. I don't feel it would be all that self loving of me to settle when I know the kind of person I'm attracted to, and that I've pulled that kind of person before. I will wait for the right person that I am attracted to, it's not a big deal
Maybe the most genuine content on the internet.
7:43 REAL. to all the stand-ups i’ve crushed on before…
this is a topic i think about a lot, thanks for sharing!
I'm happy for you that you got a new mic. It is a bit echo-y...
Agreed. I don't have a problem hearing Gabe, but Allison's voice is quite echo-y, which is a shame because I love hearing all Allison's wisdom. I can't figure it out though because they both look about the same distance from the mic.
The masked singer/bachelor crossover is a million dollar idea
They did that in 2001, it was called Mr. Personality.
I am so ridiculously demisexual lol while I definitely CAN be immediately physically attracted to someone, it will never be more than a FWB situation if there isn’t a deeper emotional connection.
Meanwhile, if the deep emotional connection is there, partners BECOME physically attractive to me over time. This weirdly means my “type” is an emotional profile rather than a physical one.
That's pretty cool. How do you sus out if a person's personality is what you're looking for? Do you think it takes longer for than for others, or do you knock out all the things you're looking for super quickly so you don't waste time?
I must say, if I was able to just consider personality, I definitely wouldn't have dated some peole or I would've broken things off with them wayy sooner than I did 😅
Im demisexual so people's physical attractiveness doesnt factor very highly into whether i want to date them. I have to feel emotionally connected to them first. Celebrity crushes always seemed very strange to me...like yes theyre conventionally attractive but you only see a PR version of them so how could you possibly want to sleep with them? I get it now, but as a teenager i did a lot of pretending to have crushes that i did not actually have 😅 Im also autistic so it could be that i was interpretting it all too literally.
I wanna promote my favourite podcast 'Aliens watching Reality TV" two neurodivergent people breaking down their thoughts on love is blind and other reality tv shows
I really want Allison's opinion for this season of the Bachelor!!!!!
why did i watch this? i'm already always depressed about being single and ugly
i know that with me, that when i like someone romantically, then the physical attraction comes after. Don't get me wrong, I need the physical attraction. But i can think someone is hot af, then they turn out to be arseholes, so the physical attraction goes away. Like COMPLETELY. and i can think that someone looks fine, then i get to know them, and its like, holy hell, they are HOT
Wait is amp no longer working
What happened to your dogs? They are more than gone
They are just sleepy lil creatures.
Love is blind as an expression means you over look or don’t see their flaws. But okay..
Hahahah yes, the things we do for love.
Y’all…. Demisexual people exist. I’ve dated plenty of non traditionally attractive people. Rejecting people’s lived experience is uncool and something I expect from people in their 20’s.
please fix the audio omfg
Whenever I see comments like this on ppls videos 9 times outta 10 the audio is totally fine. I would hate to be a TH-camr or podcaster. Y’all are so high maintenance sometimes
@@rioclemmons4094Normally I would agree with you, but jbu is a channel that seems to struggle audio-wise. I hope they can fix it because I wish to hear all the jokes and wisdom!
@@craigjenkins5434 maybe my hearing is just amazing. I could hear them no problem playing it on my iPhone speakers. Really don’t know what people are talking about