Insomnia insight
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 มิ.ย. 2020
- If you want to understand how insomnia happens and how to get back to a place of sleeping well in under 10 minutes, watch this video!
Do you have trouble sleeping? Can’t sleep? Have questions about insomnia or sleep? Please leave a comment or send an email:
questions@thesleepcoachschool.com
I will be happy to share my thoughts as a video reply in an Ask Daniel episode.
If you want to connect elsewhere I’m on Twitter @ErichsenDaniel, Instagram @Erichsen.Daniel, Facebook as Daniel Erichsen.
Would you like to work with me? Awesome! I would love a chance to help you sleep fantastic. There are two ways we can work together:
- The Self Coaching Master Program www.thesleepcoachschool.com
- BedTyme, a sleep coaching app for iOS and Android.
The self coaching program is perfect if you like learning through video and also if have mental wellness goals besides such has being less anxious.
BedTyme is ideal if you like to learn via text and have a sleep coach in your pocket.
Not sure where to start? Check out these playlists!
Core curriculum - a collection of the most important insights, a great place to start.
• Playlist
Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you.
• Success stories
Insomnia insight - a list of every single episode.
• Playlist
Talking insomnia - guests with trouble sleeping or experts share their stories / tips.
• Talking insomnia
Hypnic jerks, sudden awareness of falling asleep and other common issues.
• Hypnic jerks and more.
Fatal insomnia - for those concerned about ffi and sfi.
• Familial and sporadic ...
The self coaching model
• The model
Best!
This content does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or other qualified healthcare providers. - บันเทิง
When you decrease your desire for sleep your troubles go away, when I was reading Dr. Matthew’s book Why We Sleep and with all of the fearmongering there he really did made me feel weak that if you don’t sleep you’re gonna get cancer, Alzheimer’s that I still need to recover from the damage of reading his book, it wasn’t until I watched your channel that you teach the EXACT opposite and your channel is the truth for sleep. I would love everyone to know that you don’t have to force sleep, it is unrealistic to want to sleep and then end up sleeping without taking away the pressure cuz this is what I learned from his channel. I love all the work that you do Daniel!!😘🤟🏻💞
YOU ABSOLUTE GENIUS! I've been following your chanel for a couple of months now, my sleep improved after a couple of videos. Thank you, Daniel! You're a blessing to this community.
🤗🙏
I am really glad I found this channel. I am currently in this cycle. I desire to sleep so much. But I am unable to make myself sleep. Thanks for the advice. When the desire goes away I WILL sleep again 🙏
This teaching is simple yet genius.
😊
This feels like a really fundamental teaching, Daniel. Recognising the DESIRE to sleep as the (problematic) aspect of the loop we can actually work with... For me, this makes it much more easy to welcome the nights of "low" sleep. I can see these as the a wonderful occasion to prove that we don't need X hours of sleep to have a good day, and thus reduce the desire :) In this way, I can actually get excited on those days - they are my chance to make real progress. Far more "progress" than anxiously catching a little while longer in semi-sleep, because I'm deconstructing the fundamental supports to insomnia. Thanks :)
Yes!! Mike, I have nothing to add. I think this is the first comment from you I’ve seen, and such clarity. This is it, 100%. Well said 👍 and yes, you’re on the path to freedom.
Wow what a great model! so simple to understand thank you again Daniel!
Thanks Don! So happy with this one 🤗 Have a great one!!
You are like an angel, thanks for doing this
😊
My sleep cycle just got disrupted a month ago after having a very intense Ayahuasca ceremony, I thought it was ptsd from the ceremony but after watching some of your videos and reading articles I simply became too obsessed with my sleep pattern that it created this viscous cycle. Starting today I'm applying Natto :) Thank you for bringing much needed clarity and hope 🙌
Santiago, I definitely thing you're on a good path towards sleeping well again! I haven't heard about this ceremony but just looked it up. I can see how this could be triggering! Be well and be in touch!
Brilliant insights, thank you so much Daniel
Anytime! Thanks for being here 😊
New to this channel and this makes so much sense to me! I struggled with GAD and have really bad sleep anxiety that makes it hard for me to get good sleep. I'm excited to learn more from you!!
So glad you found us Stefania, and I hope you’ll find everything you need to leave the struggles and find peace of mind and peaceful sleep 😊
Thanks for directing me here I’ll make sure to try this to see if it helps my insomnia
Sounds wonderful!
Thanks,Daniel! Your channel deserves to have millions subscribers)
One day! But then again, I wouldn’t have time to answer every wonderful comment like this, and I’d miss it very much 😊
There!! another one great model that graphically explains how an on going insomnia is made. Thank you for an amazing work on making models like this sir Daniel,
I'm sure this will help more and more people that have insomnia.
Lydel Gabucan- agreed. 👌
Thank YOU Lydel for all the support! I'm so excited about this one, just feels so simple yet so practical. Will work more on this and start using it!!
i barely slept a week and after watching your videos i finally sleep better so thank you
Sylvana! So so glad reading this! Thanks for sharing, this is what keeps the tank alwasy full!!
Amazing insight....once I started to not care, that’s when my recovery really began! It’s such a process!
Thanks TSA! It’s so tricky when you’re struggling… but it’s the way for sure!!
This model makes so much sense. Very straight forward and easy to self reflect. I've only been able to make improvements to my sleep by being okay with the fact that it's okay not to sleep much one night or not at all. We get more by being okay with getting less sleep. Crazy how the mind works!
I had a question for you coach Daniel: now that we are slowly going to go back to work, how to you advise people to sleep earlier? I find it difficult to sleep earlier because I got used to sleeping late during quarantine. Melatonin sometimes helps but I don't want to depend on it :/
Laura L Thanks for the feedback Laura! Your experience is evidence that, it is they way, when you start being ok with not sleeping much you paradoxically sleep better!
Good question. This is similar to a common one I get from parents when they ask how to get kids ready for school starting!
Ok so the thing is, it’s all about the rise time. You can’t really do anything at night, you just have to adjust the time you wake up. When you’ve gotten into the habit of waking up a certain time, you’ll start feeling ready for sleep earlier.
The most important thing is actually to avoid the common behavior of starting with going to bed earlier and then just laying there!
Happy you’re going back to work, I think that in itself will help a lot.
Hope this made sense and thanks for all the support!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thanks Coach Daniel for taking the time to respond to our questions! Really appreciate it :)
Anytime!!
Watching this first thing this morning as I had some great sleep success as of late and suddenly slept for 0 -1 hours last 4 days. Thank you Daniel ❤️😊
Thanks Pilar for being so supportive even after sleeping so little. Treat yourself today, you deserve it!!
The Sleep Coach School -🤗 so kind of you ☺️
Anytime!!
😴😴 it’s hard to decrease my desire for sleep, when my insomnia and sleep deprivation always ruins my ability to function, the fatigue and depression is severe from no sleep.
100% Scarlett... this is exactly the paradox that makes insomnia so difficult... how can you become more ok with something when you feel terrible!
I can’t remember if you already saw this but one episode that may help a lot is Insomnia insight 346. It talks about how you feel, the battle scars, prove that there’s a battle but not an enemy. This can really help.. hang in there and stay in touch!!
Gives me hope I’ll get sleep again (once I can lower my desire)😴
It is the way Pilar and, you'll get there!
Hello Daniel!
I would like to thank you for featuring my comments on your previous videos, I really appreciate it.
I wanted to ask you a question that has been weighing on my mind -
After watching your video, I feel like I have a lot more knowledge regarding the nature of sleep and associated factors, but I still wanted to get your advice regarding this situation.
I'm dealing with nights where I experience sleep misperception (going to bed at 12-1 AM and getting out of bed in the morning with confusion around if I had slept at all) and I was wondering what you would advise I could do to continue to alleviate this problem? Some occasional nights of 'good sleep' (sleep where I feel a confident sensation of having fallen asleep the night before) continue to prove to me that I am undoubtedly sleeping, but I would like your advice on working to fix this issue as it's rather confusing to determine when exactly I fall asleep at night even if I know I have slept because I'm functional during the day and do not feel the effects of sleep deprivation. (Is it possible that I'm only getting light sleep even though I'm sleeping a solid amount of hours? I'm thinking this because in my experience, I'll close my eyes at night and when I open them again it's the morning, but I have no memory of the hours in-between, which I use as an affirmation that I slept.)
I look forward to your response.
Hello Karan!
Anytime! That was a really nice comment so I’m grateful on my end to have had the opportunity to share it!
Your question is a really good one. It is one that comes up here and there, not too often but definitely comes up. I point that out only for the reason that knowing others have the same one can be really reassuring!
I will reply at length tomorrow with Coach Michael. Briefly here, I believe when this happens it is always because of hyper arousal. Instead of going into a deep sleep that you definitely identify a sleep, you have a more superficial sleep that you were not entirely aware of even having had.
Paradoxically, the hyper arousal that leads to not even feeling like you’re sleeping kinda helps you daytime. It gives you some extra energy that keeps you alert and functioning even if you have superficial sleep.
As for what to do, it’s almost always the same thing when it comes to sleep, as little as possible!
I believe that understanding is the key. When you understand and don’t question it, it’s self resolves.
Ok more though tomorrow on this great topic! Look out for Ask Daniel 59!
This makes all the sense in the world to me - and it wasn't until having two sleepless nights of my own followed by good days that I realized that sleep and the quality of my next day aren't inextricably tied to one another....a recent revelation to me after battling insomnia for 18 months (birth of daughter kicked off this very cycle you describe). This decreased my desire of sleep and I've been more relaxed about it. To be honest, my anxiety around sleep has diminished to a point to where I think CBTi and sleep restriction therapy will really work for me, which is exactly what I plan on doing starting next week.
James! Thanks so much for this comment and welcome to the channel. I'm finding that having a kid is such a common reason for insomnia. Interestingly, I almost never see this in clinic and I realize why - parents of small kids rarely have time to come in!!
You've had some really important insights and, I'm almost tempted to say - if you're seeing improvement, it might be better to just keep on doing what you're doing...
This said, whatever you do, let me know if you have any questions and stay in touch!!
😊
Hello, Daniel. I found you when I was desperate and extremely sleep deprived. You broke the cycle for me by suggesting that I distract myself from my sleep efforts. It quickly cured my sleep latency problem. I now have great confidence that I will fall asleep every night watching an enjoyable video. If I were to not fall asleep, at least I would be entertained instead of frustrated. I haven’t taken any sleep meds in over four weeks. 👍
I developed a new problem, though. I wake up after 4-5 hours. I put the same videos on, but I feel myself try to fall back asleep. I try to not try. I can’t help it. This morning when I woke up, I could feel that anticipatory anxiety start to build so I started a video. I got drowsy a few times watching the video and immediately tried to sleep. Of course, that woke me up every time. I feel so close to completely solving all of my sleep issues, but there is this one remaining issue. I try to remind myself how happy I am that I am no longer spending any time in bed frustrated. I really used to dread going to bed because of that. Now, I look forward to bed time.
Speaking of BedTyme, I downloaded the app, but I see that it doesn’t support Apple Signin yet. Is that coming soon?
Neil Pollack Neil! So happy you found the channel and well done 👍 I know you’ve put in a lot of thought work.
As for the waking up after 4-5 hours, there are basically two things that come to mind. Option A is complete acceptance. Just looking at this as a bit of residual hyperarousal and just not change anything - oftentimes the best thing to do when things have been getting better is the hardest: nothing!
Option B would be to ponder why this happens a bit more to understand it. Understanding is always very helpful. Briefly, as me and Pilar were coincidentally talking about in the comments of another video, insomnia is always for the same reason - hyperarousal (sometimes with a component of insufficient sleep drive). When you wake up, to some degree, but much much less than in the past thanks to all your work, you’re a bit preoccupied. You’re happy you’re sleeping so much better, but there’s a little bit resistance, you would like to sleep a bit longer and not have this early awakening. Completely expected! You’ve done fantastic! But, this resistance is why you’re not taking that final step!
I think what does make things a bit tricky here is that you kinda repeat the same thing you do at bedtime but that your desire to sleep is higher + you’ve slept some hours already whereby you don’t sleep much more after 4-5 hours.
So what to do? Again, not doing much at all and just knowing that this is nothing strange or unusual but just a normal part of the journey is probably best. So after coming up with option A and B, I just realize that a combination is best 😂
If you have another thing prepared like a good book, that could remove the thought of “I’m doing the same thing as when I first go to bed so why isn’t it working”.
Hope this made sense Neil!
About BedTyme, just now as you asked about Apple login, it became a priority! It will still take many weeks at least but at some point we will have it!
Thanks Neil!!
Hi can I ask how you distract yourself from sleep efforts? Do you just watch a video or read whenever you wake at night?
Hi! To me this can be answered by yes, but keeping in mind that if some idea is sticky, then the opposite actual helps more.
Here’s an expansion on this that applies beyond sleep efforts:
There are two principally very different ways to meet thoughts that give rise to discomfort or emotions that are not comfortable.
And these two ways are in a way the opposite of each other so things can sort of get confusing when you ponder certain teaching points here and then compare them with others.
On one hand you have the analogy of the toddler who’s trying to get your attention by unwanted activity. You realize that the unwanted activity is maintained by you giving the toddler attention, even screaming at them to stop (!) is a way to give them attention, and you see that ignoring them is the best next step. When you start ignoring the toddler they may initially try even harder with that unwanted activity to try to get your attention, but if you just keep ignoring them, they eventually give up and start playing with their toys instead.
This is an analogy of basically dismissing thoughts and emotions that are uncomfortable.
A practical example would be when you feel somewhat anxious and you decide to go for a bike ride. You’re basically dismissing anxiety and sometimes this is the right thing to do! Sometimes you enjoy the bike ride and forget all about anxiety.
But sometimes, if the thoughts or emotions are more deeply rooted, then trying to ignore them actually isn’t helpful at all.
Let’s imagine that the toddler actually had something very important to tell you. And they knew this. Let’s say they were trying to tell you that there was a leak in the bathroom.
In this case, the more you try to ignore the toddler, the more persistently they would try to tell you something important. The more you try not to give them attention, the more they would annoy you and scream at you and really try to make you see that there’s a real problem.
In this case, the best thing to do is to listen. The best is to not try to escape or distract yourself but the present for all the thoughts and emotions even if they cause discomfort.
Coming back to the analogy, if you listen to the toddler in this case and they see this, well then they no longer have a need to warn you!
So in summary, there are two ways to meet discomfort.
One is to dismiss and one is to listen.
Dismissal works when the thoughts or emotions are not very persistent or deeply seated. On the other hand when the brain is really concerned about something, the best thing to do is to actually listen and to imagine the things that the brain is trying to warn you about. Be present and allow yourself to feel even the discomfort.
And when the brain sees that you’re listening, it will no longer feel a need to warn you.
my insomnia started ~2 years ago after reading that matthew walker book lol this makes so much sense! and it spikes whenever I have new obligations that make me feel like sleep is more “necessary”
You’re not the only one, so many have gotten sleep anxiety and insomnia because of this book… check out Alexey Guzey and his essay on the book, quite incredible. Glad you’re here!
This video makes great sense theoretically, but I am such a concrete thinking! What specifically can one do to decrease the desire? Is it like self talk? Do you have a video with more concrete suggestions on detaching from sleep? Thank you!
Hi Kerry,
I’m glad it does! And yes, this question comes up a lot.
I think the most tangible thing we can do is learn from the question. When we wonder what to do, there’s a built in assumption that it is possible to do something… which is the assumption that keeps us struggling
Thank you, I appreciate the response, but I think I'm still missing something. So then do I just do nothing and let the thoughts be?
Anytime Kerry, and I know this can all sound like riddles but I believe this to be true: often what we miss is that there’s nothing to miss. We don’t see that the puzzle is complete because we look for a lost piece. When we just let thoughts be, there’s no struggle.
So how do I control this desire after nights of sleeplessness? How can I decrease this desire that has been conditioned into me?
Hello! A neighbor just sent me to your channel and I’m happy to find you here. I’ve watched your intro and I’m wondering if you could have videos about the estrogen and progesterone drop a week before ministration, a classic time to experience insomnia. Do you have any video addressing that? After 35 years of this happening, I really have released the desire and anticipation to sleep during that time, but it hasn’t changed because of the biological influence. I’m curious if you address anything that might help change it
Thanks for your comment!! Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.
The biggest reason I can't sleep is the thought of what insomnia is doing to my body. I have read that sleep deprivation can lead to heart disease (partly because the heart doesn't get to rest) and also permanent brain damage. The permanent brain damage part is really scary. It's been weeks since I've gotten a full 7-9 hours. My question is how long does it take for sleep deprivation to lead to permanant damage to the heart and brain? Is a few days to a few weeks enough?
Hi Max! I think this will make you sleep better:
Short sleep or insomnia (struggling with sleep) has never been shown to damage your health or brain!
I’ve written a book on this called “Why we don’t sleep”.
There’s not a single study showing that sleeping little or struggling with sleep causes any health issue. If you find any that you’d like me to review - let me know!
Please check out Insomnia insight #147 for more on this topic.
Best!
OMG don’t get me started - my blood starts boiling when I think of that book!
Anyways please check this out - guzey.com/books/why-we-sleep/
This is a really great essay that shows how this book is riddled with errors and is totally misleading.
To me, it’s a story of someone using their academic position to scare people and thereby inflate their own influence.
I actually wrote a book myself called Why we don’t sleep to refute what Walker says. There is 0 evidence whatsoever that insomnia causes health issues. Life expectancy for someone with or without insomnia is the same.
I can go on about this but let me just say - I’m very sorry about your anxiety and it was completely unnecessary.
Is it possible to use wake promoting medicine like modafinil to help a person cope during the initial phase of cbti to help a person mask the overwhelming desire for sleep?
Hi Robert, it surely is possible take such a medication with this intent, but how we will feel… that’s difficult to predict. There are many who have an overwhelming desire for sleep while not feeling the slightest sleepiness or fatigue, rather feeling like they were taking modafinil. I think at the root of all inner struggles it’s about fear and being willing to be scared and educating ourselves
How do you not care or have a strong desire when you have no choice but to be somewhere early in the morning and ‘on form’ all day and for multiple days in front of people that may judge you and you fear how awful you will feel on 1hr sleep and their judgement
Wow just wow , tried traditional therapy(sleeping pills) and everything else but this is just wow, also one more thing , I just cant sleep before an important day as if I am not able to sleep I won't be able to perform at my best level the next day and this is what keeps me awake , how do I deal with that?
So glad you’re here 😊 check episodes 286 and 276!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thanks a lot this has helped me way more than going to literally many of the best psychiatrists in my country or CBT ever did and gotta say you have truly changed my life for the better, thank you so much for showing me how easy it is to solve this problem that I have had for as long as I can remember and had practically given up on with it impacting my career, my physical health, my mental health my relationships and everything I truly cared about in such an extremely bad way and now, thanks to you I feel more in control of all of them...
So so glad to read these lines 😊 thanks so much for letting me know 🙏
I'm so sleep deprived I can't focus on what your saying 😢
Hang in there, sometimes we don’t know, but we learn subconsciously
Hi i'm New with you ,i did not sleep for two months please what i Can Do please that's ruin my life.
Dear Khawla, sorry to read these lines but glad you found the channel.
You know, insomnia is a form of fear of the unknown. And we can make the unknown known simply by learning!
I think this playlist here is a great place to start.
This is natto - the perfect place to start learning!
th-cam.com/play/PL6RQ1GS7B1cik8Xr8iVdxmKB9FYieevYj.html
Hang in there and let us know how things go!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you so much i will watch your videos .
@@khawlaboukherissa4075 How are you?
@@superoli5308 i' m good thank .
I fight insomia now i'm doing well thanks for asking.
@@khawlaboukherissa4075 How did you fight it? Any tips? Im struggling too and I am more than a month now sleep deprived.
Does anyone know if the presenter here struggled with insomnia himself? Has he shared his story?
Hi, I never did, but I’ve had other internal struggles that I recognize so much similar things with