When Saboom said "Why do I have a gift in some stupid videogame", I kinda felt this. When the only thing you don't suck at in life is something that just won't help you in life, you just end up thinking you're a waste of talent since you can't use it for anything else.
It doesn't mean you ARE a waste of talent, but it does mean you are CURRENTLY not directing it to where you should be. It's a fallacy of permanence to think you can't use it for anything else. Seek balance. There's nothing wrong with having niche hobbies if they bring you joy, but if they give you existential dread because you're over-indulging, seek balance one step at a time. If you're a talented speedrunner, it's absurd to think you can't use it for anything else; the ability to hyperfixate and to acquire and utilize advanced domain knowledge in a specific area is one of the most powerful and ubiquitously useful traits you could ever be bestowed. Even the precise mechanical skill is useful in so many fields. In almost every technical field, it is helpful. Do your best to limit your time on whatever activity makes you feel that dread, and spend more time TRYING NEW THINGS. I guarantee there are tons of activities that can both catch your passion as well as provide you immense emotional fulfillment. It is a struggle because with such an ability, no matter what you do, you will be wasting your talent in some way. Fulfilling your maximum potential is absolutely impossible in one lifetime or even 100 lifetimes, that's just the way it is and that's okay. You don't have to reach your full potential. Even for a standard person, that's impossible. Stressing about opportunity cost of certain actions only leads to analysis paralysis. Focus on the basics of life first, then give yourself the opportunity to find something to use your gift on that brings you happiness rather than misery by trying new things, even things that you think there is no chance that you would care about or enjoy. Also read "Notes from Underground" and try to get as far away from the main character mentally as possible.
The skill is basically learning a pattern with fingers, and repeating it as efficiently as possible in response to visual and auditory stimuli, I wonder if a musical instrument would be a good way to transfer such skill.
@@ryngobrody1627 absolutely. Also mechanical design and PCB design I can tell you first-hand are some specific applications. It absolutely baffles any senior engineer to watch you work on designing something with the level of speed and precision of a speedrunner, they'd bend over backwards to keep you hired.
Saboom was my introduction to speedrunning. His fluid gameplay and precise control over Spyro was always in a league of his own. If you showed me 100 different people playing Spyro I could easily pick out which gameplay is his, it's so distinct. Can't wait to watch this :) EDIT: Video ended up being a bit more depressing than I’d wanted, but I suppose that’s because the image I have of Saboom in my head is a jovial, free spirit. When he’s spreading good energy it’s infectious, it’s something unique about him. So when he gets into these obsessive grinds that devolve into madness it’s very jarring because it’s the same coin, but a different side. I do wish he could enjoy turning on a stream and play games in a normal sense, but it seems like the cycle often repeats itself. I remember during one of his returns he was doing some casual Crash 3 runs and seemed to be having fun. But then maybe a few days later the mic might go away and then the next the cam goes away and before you know it this guy is grinding 120% and you know the rest. I’m glad I got to be around during the good times. I’m glad I got to meet Saboom at GDQ and hang out. I do remember asking him at 2 am at a ihop if he’d ever stop running 120 if he didn’t have world record. He pretty much said no, that he would always try to have world record, it was the only record he truly cared about. I guess that’s why I was so surprised when he broke his disc and deleted Twitch, but also equally unsurprised he was doing attempts as recent as a week ago. To me it doesn’t matter if he ever goes live again or ever touches another controller, he’ll always be a legend. I just want the dude to be happy.
Well made video retro, very boundary pushing for me at times, but it's undeniable that you put passion into the writing and execution. Sabooms story needed a video
It’s crazy to me to think about how I found saboom back in 2017 and not realize he was already in the middle of his spiral. I kind of breathe a sigh of relief every time he comes back to speedrunning just because I know he’s still alive. It’s always so strange to me how important ego is to him, but yet I’ve never seen him put anyone down other than himself while raising everyone else up around him. Truly a tortured soul, the cool kids always remember.
Excellent cautionary tale highlighing the extreme highs and lows only speedrunning can take you to. This story will definitely serve the speedrunning community as a whole well going forward. Great work as always 💛
18:46 when I saw "I'm gonna relax with Crash Bash" with the game in bold red letters slowly come onto the screen I laughed so hard I started tearing up
I like how Chibi is legendary in speedrunning. Not for speedrunning, but for annoying a speedrunner, cheating at Paper Mario speedrunning, and flashing his "chibi" at people on Discord.
Speedrunning has always been about sacrifices. Spending the amount of hours to achieve faster times in old games. It is a hobby that should be at the bottom of anyone’s priority list but Saboom is the tale of it being the other way around. Thanks for making this video retro
But fr tho sick vid. You really captured boom and i's personal relationship and im happy for that. Im a little surprised you didn't want my input on anything here, but i suppose there must have been some reason for that and that's OK. Overall, i think theres more happiness and positivity in this story than the video conveys. The speed depression is definetly real, and I'm glad you didn't sugar coat it. But also, I don't regret a second of it, and i think saboom would agree. We are immesly lucky to have gone on this journey. Not many people get to experience something as beautiful as this journey, even for all its hardships.
This whole vid reminds me of a giant shitpost on /srg/ back when that was a thing. There's not enough funny shit like that in speedrunning anymore. Still I hope saboom is mentally well enough to laugh at these jokes.
FINALLY this man gets a video. stephen aka saboom is one of the most interesting people i have ever met. he's a source of inspiration whilst simultaneously a cautionary tale in burnout. what i'm sure of however, spyro speedrunning would be nothing without him and his influence.
24:54 Crash Bash is the most underrated of insanely hard speedruns. It doesn't have the status of other games, but man... people get mentally ill playing it. I like to mention how LogicPQ, WR holder of I Wanna Be the Guy (both remastered and OG), which is quite literally the most famous rage game ever, plays Crash Bash too.
To me, Saboom is the greatest speedrunner of all time. Grateful for everything he did for the community and the games, grateful to have met him when he came to ESA, an absolutely unique and beautiful person who I will always remember. Incredible video as well, retro. Can't imagine the work you put into this.
56:20 "saboom if you're watching this I just wanted to let you know that at the end of the day speed running not all about records and and like the obsessive nature over like having records and having to stay competitive" @Tharixer, I know you mean well, but one thing you don't seem to understand is that for some people (I have ADHD, for instance, so I am neurodivergent), there is no middle setting. When I used to diet and try to lose weight, I could not just eat somewhat healthy and leave it at that. I went full bulemic, and would count all of my calories and nutrient intakes, and log every single packet of Splenda I consumed on a food chart. My brain is either off, or it's on. 0, or 60. My neurology makes it impossible for me to just somewhat be attached to something. And I think Saboom is the same. He literally cannot just play the games for fun. He either has to obsess over the records, or not play the game. But since he sunk so many thousands of hours into the game, he also feels he cannot just drop the game due to the Sunk Cost Fallacy. Personally, while he definitely overdid it with speedrunning, and as a result it hurt his mental health, his relationships, etc. I can at least have some solace that it was JUST speedrunning. I think if he instead got hooked on gambling, for instance, he could have caused himself so much more harm. I wish him well. This neurology sucks, but it has helped me a lot to just avoid things that cause me to have high levels of stress like that. I wish my brain wasn't like this, but since it is, it is what I have to contend with. And if Saboom has a similar neurology, it might be best for him as well. Anyways, that's my two cents. Do with it what you will.
This is all very true. I also showcase many excessively addictive traits when Speedrunning. It's difficult to quit when you have your mind set on a goal or a world record. I'm not sure if my words were just taken out of context a bit, but what I was trying to say was that the community helped me immensely and isolating myself never helped. I understand not everyone can do that
I know you mean well, but one thing you don't seem to understand is that Stephen is not you. There are a billion and one factors that could be driving his behaviours. Just because they seem similar, it doesn't mean they are. The worst thing we can do is make assumptions, especially when we are just getting a slice of who they are through a documentary or their online presence.
Very well said. I'm diagnosed Bi-Polar II and it's scary just how IDENTICAL some of my divergent behaviours are to Saboom's. I obviously can't diagnose anything over the internet but I am with you that I strongly suspect a neurological issue. I really hope he chooses to seek help. I learned the hard way it can't be done alone.
really well put together vid. i've got so much love for everyone mentioned/involved like ricky dayo chris etc and most of all saboom. he's one of the most interesting and inspiring people i've ever seen online. a great human and truly one of the good guys ❤
Fantastic documentary... really highlights the dangers of a sunk cost mindset. I think just about everyone can relate to being at a low point and thinking, "It's already so bad, why not make it a little worse?" (43:10) .. I'd watched some of his speedruns over the years but didn't follow closely enough to know how hard it was on him. I hope Saboom finds what he's looking for in life, even if it's not as 'Saboom' anymore.
4:02 It's been 10 years since that 5any% of Ape Escape... Kind of insane to hear my voice from that long ago Great video, man ^^ SSBMstuff was seriously on top of the playstation speedrunning scene back in 2012-2015
Hey great video overall this was a great story and you put it together very well! One bit of feedback I'd like to offer is that you do this thing in your video where you may assume people's feelings or mental states even. For example, when Chris got back the 120 star world record around the 32:32 mark you say "and it was one of the happiest days of his life." I mean, did he say that himself? It somewhat sounds like it was just included for dramatic effect with no evidence given that he said that.
42:32 I'm surprised that I somehow made it into this truly amazing vid by taking part in one random Crash Bash race in 2017. Saboom and all the others were in the Discord call at the time. Good Times...
Self aware, too smart for his own good type of guy. Self reflective, philosophical. I find it pleasant listening to him speak. This was a film, and even the overly dramatic bits have a legit reason for being in the script. Very well done, My 'Meister.
Why am I so invested, I've barely played Spyro lmao. Great video! Very interesting how far people can go on sheer willpower alone. I hope he learns to let go and enjoy gaming again
This popped up on my TH-cam frontpage and I'm glad, what a phenomenal video with great pacing and editing. Im about halfway through but one thing I dont get, Saboom is really looked up to by many people as evident by the comments, but his need to be first seems so dystopian and toxic to me. I run FF7 no slots any % and after about 100 hours im close to gaining a time to get onto the leaderboards (probably very low but to me its still a goal!). I follow a few fellow runners too though and we all just do it for the love of the game. Neon_Genesis_ is a good friend I watch regularly who holds 10th place and puts such dedication in, guy is literally in tears when he breaks a pb or when playing the remake but if someone passes him its nothing but love and appreciation. Theres alot of toxicity in any game I guess but those who chase the number one spot for too long always seem to end up unhappy. I still respect how much Saboom pushed the speedrunning scene and I have no doubt his community was top tier too by other comments. Amazing video anyway, such research, respect and dedication. Im looking forward to checking out your other videos!
I really appreciate this video, this sort of toxic nature of speedrunning as someone who was once a legend of a speedgame, i know too well. It's not talked about enough.
I love this video, and I haven't even kept up with any PS1 speedgames. The word "passion" is overused to the point it doesn't mean much anymore but it's palpable with Saboom and Dayo. It's inspiring and dangerous all the same. Saboom is like the embodiment of the double edged sword of speedrunning obsession. Presenting this as a case study is terrifying, if you obsess over speedrunning I feel like most these emotions and the warped sense of identity and self-worth come with it as a packaged deal. It's the logical conclusion of pushing yourself to the limit (which is another overused term, but it feels very applicable here). In some sense all these WR history videos feel whitewashed, like a celebration that ignores these darker aspects. This video feels so much more human. The mentality, the doubts, the much more genuine look into his psyche... The epilogue also really hit hard. Excellent work.
Saboom is and always was my favorite speedrunner. not because of his records or anything like that. just because his chats were fun and he was a cool person to be around. while i was going through a hard time in life, just watching him go for runs and be cheerful really helped me move on with my issues at that time. i hope one day someone can do the same for him. thank you Saboom, for helping me in one of my times of need 🕊️🕯️💕
same thing but it's a fun story to learn about. MGS2... I played on hard until i beat the chopper boss after 3 hour... then i went in and saw VAMP was next... I tried for half an hour then erased the game save I could never beat Vamp on hard mode in MGS2
Great video with a good mix of funny and serious. I remember watching saboom way back in the early speedrunning days and enjoyed him immensely. If he ever reads this, I just hope he knows that whether he holds the record or not, he is still THE Saboom, and people will always love and respect him for what he's done. I love his honesty and hope he can use his platform as a way to explore himself as a person, beyond just speedrunning. He has more of a gift than just playing some PS1 game made in the 90s really well. But it's up to him to find it. Just never feel afraid for reaching out for help.
Here's the issue: The type of person who gets world records is the kind of person that will not tolerate second place. This type of person also does not understand that no one can stay on top forever. You need to graciously bow out on top of forever be seen as the villain.
Never back down if you know you can do it. The people who know they can't should bow out. However, competing for the top spot over and over again must get boring and exhausting eventually, especially if it's the same players. 1 thing that I dislike about certain games, crash bash has way to much RNG. Alot of speedrunners must be insane because alot of games ran have more RNG than skill and who cares about records at that point. Like yeah good job the stars aligned for you. Fuck RNG from someone who's wasted 10,000s of hours in MMOs RNG isn't my friend, skill > luck anyday. You could get record first try or 1000s hours later, I'd rather do anything else that increases my skill rather than praying to God. Grinding your life away and getting frustrated or depressed isn't a healthy way to improve. People need to take breaks, even pros take breaks in any sport. I think alot of it is pure mentality and being able to keep composure with your feelings and heart rate in check. I'm not a record holder in speedruns but I've been around the highest ranks in alot of online games and you need strong mental if you want to improve and be at the top, so I'm assuming it's quite similar. I've hit high in leaderboards in some platform game ILs but I've never tried to grind for top spots. I wouldn't want to stay on top forever unless I seriously loved the game and would never burn out which is basically impossible. It's easier for me to grind online games due to the "randomness" of other humans. In team games especially, although I do love 1v1 games like tekken so you can't blame teammates for being dogshit ahaha. The main thing is you gotta accept how it is, if you suck if you fail, if you wasted 1000s of hours, it is what it is. It takes time for some people it will be way longer but thats life. Get back to it if you love it or do something else if you have no passion left! :D
Yes. Way back in the day, I had a TH-cam channel where I did Let's Plays (including Ape Escape) and Saboom was one of my subscribers, and he left a comment on my channel asking me to check out his Ape Escape runs and I was absolutely blown away by how good he was. It was actually the first time I'd seen what properly running a game looked like.
this is my first introduction to Saboom- he has an incredible story and I hope he can find peace in his lifetime. @51:44 I was close to someone who spoke similar to this when they were feeling under a lot of pressure, they were very very good at what they did but seemed doomed to be stuck in black & white thinking when in criticism mode- they were schizophrenic, though I hear a similar mania in Sabooms' voice here :-/ 🫂🫂🫂🫂 Excellent video thank you! I subscribed :-)
Very mixed feelings about this video. While you tell the small, public part of the story of a man whose life, issues and troubles we have no right to know about in order to explain how his extremes lead to pretty severe health conditions, you are also highlighting and in a way reinforcing or endorsing those toxic competitive dynamics: "He destroyed this and that record, this and that competitor", "He was no match for this and that", "He was afraid of him and what he """did""" to that other runner by just getting better PBs", "Putting this and that time or run or runner to shame". Agonism is a painful, often disgusting game where everybody loses if they play long and well enough. Every record will be beaten and having been there with more than one game I feel pain each time I hear about a run "getting obliterated". Nothing got obliterated, these narrative and wording are exacerbating the same toxicity and rivalries that are the subject of this very video. Even if I appreciate your obvious effort in documenting the story of a very influential and suffering person in his experience of the Internet, I found some depictions (i.e.: the freaking 3D render of Silent Hill 2 Saboom watching Dayo getting the WR or the cartoon version of Saboom breaking Spyro's disk) very untasteful, borderline offensive. Enlighting video, but it only reminds me of how shitty competition becomes at high levels and how many reasons there are to only run against your own times and stay happy.
It was somewhat of a deliberate choice to use the competitive language, to get the viewer into that mindset (the same type of mindset that Saboom had), so that it can then be contrasted against and critiqued. If the viewer gets into that mindset while watching, only to be confronted with the negative consequences of it later, then that is the effect I was going for. The 3D Silent Hill scene and the disc snap scene were meant to be dramatic, yet also light-hearted and funny.
@@retro-meister I understand the reasons behind the wording. It seems to be the common way of writing these pieces of speedrunning documentary, and I suppose the dramatic scenes were a bit too fuch only for my own personal taste.
hi mr m13, big fan, can you explain to the audience the reasoning behind your scripted portion of the video? is it because you talk like you've got a mouth full of boiled potatoes? thanks
I remember seeing the name "SSBMstuff" one time when I was searching up Spyro leaderboards, but I've never heard about Saboom's story until now. As someone who has also been consumed by the pursuit of video game accomplishments, I can deeply relate to him. It honestly felt like I was catching a glimpse of my future self that went down the path of video game grinds as his story was narrated throughout the video. Great video, but I'm left with a deeply unsettling feeling after watching this. Probably gonna contemplate quitting gaming altogether. Also I hope that Saboom is doing okay and has been able to find balance in his life.
I think the question of "was it all worth it" depends on if you enjoyed the time you spent doing something and the people you interacted with and maybe formed bonds with along the way. That's why ThaRixer's statement is potent. Speedrunning isn't just about chasing records. It's also about having fun and connecting with people over a shared interest. That goes with any hobby. You could chase a record until you die and there will always be someone there to one-up you. You'll go back and forth, but if you're not having fun doing that then... perhaps it's not actually worth it. It is much better to go do something that you're not as good at, but enjoy doing more, in my opinion.
Excellent video. To me I got into this hobby well after Saboom left his mark and was regarded as the best speedrunner playstation ever saw. However, his story being a cautionary tale to not let the allure of leaderboards and top times is something I believe is important to present about this hobby. I remember hearing about his disappearance in 2022 and just felt concerned for the man, not because of his significance to speedrunning, but just as a human being who clearly wasn't in the best headspace. The drive turned obsession and pride turned ego are things that can truly drive us to rash decisions and dark places. Even still, if nothing else I'll always appreciate the guy for beating to his own drum and helping to push these games to heights thought impossible. His play in S1 especially is something that can only be described as an artform and while he may never strive for or get record again, I'll always enjoy seeing him boot up for even a few runs when possible.
Wow. I've been watching Saboom on and off for years. Never knew his story was this dark. What I did notice is that when I tuned in on his stream one day he seemed like a totally different person. For a lack of a better word, he seemed insane. I figured he must've been using psychedelic drugs. But hearing all this now, loosing a relationship over videogames and your own ego, being unable to pursue anything else in life because you have an addiction this strong... damn. Insanely talented guy and everyone that's at the top of something HAS to be obsessed and a bit crazy. But I completely understand him when he says "I wish I was talented for something else". I would also be devastated if I woke up one day and realized that the 10k hours I put into some game I could've put into mastering an instrument, a language, drawing.. At the other hand, speedrunning is just starting to get the recognition it deserves and I believe his, and many others' legacies in this "hobby" will one day be greater and more impactful than they realize.
He’s not the same Stephen anymore. Speedrunning has completely overwhelmed his psyche. It’s interesting because speed running is more comparable to a pointless drug than an actual achievement. With the way time works, there will always be more time to be saved in a game. A speed runner will never be satisfied , even if they have world record. It’s like Sisyphus with the boulder. As they further engage with the hobby, their brains change and neural pathways form , they are psychologically addicted to it like a drug. Normally when people strive to accomplish things, there is a clear end goal. Example; writing a novel, making an album… with speed running it just seems like an endless chasing of the dragon for some people. I’m sure like with all things some are able to have a healthy relationship to it. But Stephen does not. Something you left out of this documentary is how for all his years streaming Stephen struggled to accept donations and subscribers. He has been doing this for free basically his whole career. Compare it to somebody like dayoman who has made a whole career out of Spyro speedrunning. Which is a respectable and admirable thing. Saboom is playing for the love (obsession) of the game and nothing else. And at this point he needs to just walk away from games in general like he so desperately wants to. But he has to be willing to overcome an addiction . We are witnessing a man struggling with addiction. Some people are criticizing this documentary as being too invasive and personal. I’d agree if this wasn’t the internet. Once you put something online, it’s fair use IMO. And to be honest the internet is kind of what has enabled Stephen for all these years to continue spiraling into his addiction. So let it be a lesson not to treat the internet as your therapist if you’re concerned with privacy. With that being said you did a terrible job showcasing the brightness saboom brings to the world. He is a special soul and it would have been nice if you had at least taken some time to talk about some of that. But I’m not a fool, I understand how media and marketing works. So I get it, don’t hate the player hate the game.
Thank you. I do agree it would've been nice to show the brighter side more. That's kinda hard to fit into the video though, obviously the only clips I have available are the ones that people have saved/archived, and those are usually the more negative things like rage moments. Most wholesome moments that would've happened on stream before 2016 are lost because the "clip" feature on Twitch only came in during 2016, around the time Saboom started the Crash Bash grind.
@@retro-meisterthis is one of the things that I thought about a lot while watching, unfortunately you only have access to so much history since he deleted so much, lots of highs and lots of lows that are just lost to the internet that probably made this video way harder than it might initially seem
It's funny to hear the guy at the end talk about being young as a key factor and not realizing that a huge piece of this is someone growing up while also seeing their financial life tied to the content mill where he feels beholden to grind a game he doesn't necessarily want to play. Life's hard, it gets harder when you have financial responsibility. I can't imagine the difficulty of streaming, on top of which people will go 'you play video games for a job how can that be hard', but you can see that here. I hope he either finds a balance or leaves it behind. It's not as easy as people can make it sound or there wouldn't be stories like this.
Me: haha yeah that's right, my younger bro is kinda famous in the speedrunning community This video: *drops* One of S's old friends: hey Toby you should look at this Me: ok, sure dude. *goes to look* wait... 11k views.......haha wtf 🙃😵 Anyway, gonna check this out. Thank you, OP, for putting in the time to create something in-depth about my bro! -Sibboom (Tobias)
Follow up comments incoming: oh he quit for the first time in Oct 2015? Kind of makes sense. We lost a parent 3 months prior. No one in our family was doing well
Kind of tragic to see all of these comments and statements that still talk about running as an important thing and hoping that Saboom would get the record when it is the opposite of what he would need to hear about. Introducing people to the game is not really an achievement if it could cause people to lose the value in their lives. More and more these days I feel that people need to focus on themselves and their value a lot more than some preconstructed product. But we also need to avoid being competitive in a naturally competitive culture where it just causes increasing misfortune for those who are really dedicated. Saboom is actually a very talented person. His skills in Spyro could probably be used somewhere else even. Once you have those kinds of reflexes and training skills it really is a special skill that few can match. It could be used for something like language learning even if it is a big leap into a different environment still. And I think the core problem in society today is nutrition and the suppression of health information that should have been obviously explored or that is explored but never recommended. I have spent half my life making big courageous changes in my nutrition and finally achieved a state where I can heal things I have had since birth or very young. And that is also a skill that can not be directly monetized as it seems so valuable but I have no degree and the jobs that would pay me for it probably would not pay me for the level of expertise I have. But I have learned this is a good thing as this skill canmake me into a millionaire just by applying it to myself and I could turn those around me into being equally productive as well. That is a bit of a lesson on how Saboom and people like him could branch their skills uut. I think it is only because of gaming that I could strive so hard to improve my health and not be afraid of risks like the unenlightened. It is only because of gaming that I could keep my mind sharp and active when no opportunities seemed to be there for me. And I think gaming was also a place to develop my desires and goals, ones that did not seem possible. But I guess I should also give credit to the mysterious girl who told me to follow my goals without fear even if she turned out to be a very misguided person. She helped me find out that I should not give up everything to please my parents because I could still keep trying for my goals and if I could somehow convince them to be on my side it would be easy. I realized that the worst possibilities of failure were a lot lower than the possibilities of what could happen with my success even when my primary goal was not clear. I have come close to perishing in my journey many times, but I hope that the darkest parts of the world do not destroy me now that I have basically solved all of my personal problems and just need toime to get everything in place. But even if you do not have it all figured out, try to do the best with wha tyou have. Just existing and being present in mind is all that a lot of people need these days. But you can also cast aside your hatred and help out your enemy if it is the only person you can help. Given them something divorced from their desires as well as yours. Just spend time with whoever you can and represent yourself. It is easy to prove that your life is worth preserving in the face of danger and if you do not try then you might question whether you were better than your enemy. Sorry for saying everything in the world. It's late.
I don't know anything about speed running but the PSTV portion has me wondering are speed runs not separated by platform? Kind of seems weird to not do if load times can lead to that much variance like having all race times whether it is a F1 or a rally car be put in the same category when they are different vehicles.
Generally what is considered legal hardware in a speedrunning context is any officially released hardware that can play the game in question. Leaderboards can get a little out of hand if we separate PS1, PS2, PS3, PSTV and whatever emulators that exist. The reason it was a gentlemen’s agreement to not use PSTV was because it adds a lot of input delay and nowadays I feel like you could even argue it should be banned due to accessibility reasons similar to a backwards compatible PS3 for PS2 games. But once that first record was taken it was grandfathered in and the game is now no longer fun to run for a lot of people that may want to chase for top times. Same issue with OOT and the iQue player. Technically an official release, technically faster, shit experience👍
PlayStation speedrunning had very much the mindset that as long as the game is the exact same between official releases, no separation should be performed. Loading times are not counted as a difference. You are correct that it is not fair, but these decisions are done by the communities of the games. There are many games that split every release into their own leaderboards as well.
will forever hold the Doctor Who: Legacy world records for damage in 1 atk by 1 caracter, 1 taqm, and the speed for the anniversary stage. I hold other records as presented on my youtube channel but most are my personnal records, to show the breadth of games i master. Final Fantasy to NHL to puss N boots, TMNT, MTG Arena (1.07 billion counters on a creature) and other stuff. I CHALLENGE MYSELF! No need to be best of the world just to show the world i master many many games in different types
28:03 yeah uhhhhh, yikes? Pretty shitty of him to read through her messages without permission, but even worse is her trying to cheat on him. Honestly, even if it wasn't for Crash Bash, they still woulda broken up.
@@the1whoplayz That's after the fact, if he hadn't found out we would've never known he read the messages. Him being paranoid is proof the relationship was already damaged by him obsessing over video games.
The idea of speedrunning addiction and the negative impact it has on the people who take it the most serious is definitely an interesting topic, and i'd probably have enjoyed a video that tackled it more generally or thoroughly. But this video just feels wrong. Delving so much into Saboom and his turbulent journey and personal life to make what point, that he is clearly suffering mentally? That much is obvious to most people who just know who he is, let alone his friends and fellow runners, and it just feels like you're grabbing a loudspeaker and broadcasting that fact to a wider audience to make some kinda example out of him... but does he deserve that? You're calling it "madness", which is a pretty medieval way to talk about mental illness. I would hope you at least talked to him before making this video, because this just feels like kicking a man while he's (very) down. And if not him, where is Dayo?? As little as I know about the inner relationships of the Spyro community, it's pretty weird to see nothing from Dayo in this video when he has been a huge part of Saboom's story especially over the last few years, and described by Saboom in this video (from a clip you found) as Saboom's "best friend". You make so many assumptions about how people feel, what they're thinking, where are the interviews with these people? I'm good friends with Ricky, and have nothing against Matt either, dont know Tiles or Goober at all, but why are these the only people you interviewed for this video...? Noone actually integral to this video had any say in it, besides clips you picked yourself from the past... Bringing these people in to speculate so that it's not just you just doesn't feel like you've done justice to Saboom at all, or the people around him. 29:03 You just finished talking about how much Saboom had personally lost at least partly due to his Crash Bash grind, and then you go on to say "there was one man who stood to benefit", and then introduce Chris. What the fuck even is that segway. You really think Chris or any other top runner would've been happy about what was happening to Saboom? Or considered it a "benefit"? 41:00 This animation is deplorable. Are you trying to tell his story, or write it yourself? The weird animations and graphics, that are almost making a mockery of him and his situation at times, is also a super weird angle to be taking in a video that is at it's core about one man's mental decline. This whole video gives the vibe that you don't actually care about this guy at all, and are just using his (admittedly fascinating) story as fuel for a TH-cam video, with little to no care about the person you're even talking about. Maybe he doesn't feel the same, but I think if I was suffering in the way he is I wouldn't want some guy posting a video showcasing all my low points to point out how bad it really is/was, and making a mockery out of it, masquerading as some kinda psychological study, when in reality it's just you assuming the mental state of everyone involved, to make some content. I hope that I'm wrong and that he infact did greenlight this video, and all this concern is for nothing. But I'd be surprised.
Firstly, I want to say that I started speedrunning Spyro back in late 2013. I followed Saboom's story for the last 11+ years, learned a lot from it and related to it personally. I knew that other TH-camrs would not make a video about it because they didn't want to touch on the dark/negative side of the story - most speedrun TH-camrs would rather just focus on positivity all the time, without ever addressing the negative side that most speedrunners can relate to. With all that said, I am a very amateur video creator. Amalgamating all the available information, countless clips over the years, then organising them into a logical flow that will make for an entertaining video is an extremely difficult task. Many of the problems you have can be chalked down to the fact that it is a very challenging video to make, and as an amateur solo video creator I cannot get everything perfect. In fact there will be many flaws, many things I look back on and think "that could've been framed better", but if I kept trying to go back and redo everything then it would never get done. At some point I just have to pick a direction and go with it. I would also suggest that perhaps you take the dramatised statements too literally/seriously (e.g. the "there was one man who stood to benefit"). I find it funny that you call the animation at 41:00 "deplorable". To me it was a funny moment that acted as a light-hearted segue into the more depressing parts of the video. Actually Dayoman left a comment saying he found that part of the video very funny (that was also the response I got from other people I showed the video to before I released it). But just goes to show that everyone interprets things differently, and I as the video creator cannot begin to predict all the different ways the viewers will interpret each scene. I did not interview Saboom or Dayo for a few reasons. But one of the main problems with interviewing subjects of the video, is that they can easily compromise the creative direction of the video. I don't want them starting to dictate the flow of the video, or asking to see it before it goes live so they can scrutinise it and approve it, or ask to remove parts they don't like. Especially when it is a video that covers some touchy subjects like this. The last thing I'll say is this: I trust the viewer to interpret the video in their own way. Some viewers will watch and think "wow, he is a super inspiring speedrunner, but he made a sacrifice to achieve greatness". Others may treat it as a "lolcow" type video and think "haha look at that loser speedrunner let's just laugh at his misery". I tried my best to give it a good balance overall, but ultimately I'm not going to police people's own interpretations. I can only hope I have given enough information and perspective for the viewer to come to their own conclusions about it.
@@retro-meister You can't control how everyone will interpret your work, but how it is interpreted is still going to be at least partly on you. I appreciate the level-headed response, but I feel like you didn't really address the main critique which is the serious lack of empathy in the video. You commented a fair bit about the creative direction of the video and what people will think of the video, but that's not what I was criticising primarily and I don't find it as important either. I don't think you gave a good reason for omitting interviews at all. A sensitive topic like this you can't just throw away the best resources at your disposal to better understand and explain this story, just because those people *might* be a little difficult to work with (if they try to make demands or creative decisions). You could've asked them for interviews, and then not used them if that became an issue. But you didn't, unless I'm misunderstanding what you said. Even then, if you had interviewed them and they'd been a bit imposing and trying to look over your shoulder, why shouldn't they? As much as this is your video, it is *their* story that you are telling, and it's only natural that they'd want to know and/or influence how it is told, and this is a serious topic, as much as you tried to make it light-hearted at times throughout. The fact that you view it as "compromising" the video is a bit odd, considering they didn't (i assume) ask you to tell their story, and would be perfectly reasonable to not want it told. If you wouldn't want to tell it how it is, because you think it'd make the video different in a way you didn't like, then that to me is you warping the story you're telling, more than they are "compromising" your video. You have to fit your video around their story, not the other way round, *especially* in this case I would've thought. The fact you're a Spyro speedrunner should if anything make you more invested in this being told right (I would've thought), instead of some random TH-camr who has little to no connection to the community figurehead they're documenting. Especially if you personally feel some connection to it, I find it quite strange that someone who that applies to would make such a video in the way you did. I can tell you put a lot of work into this, and I've been nothing but negative so far, but I think if you're going to try a video about a topic as serious or sensitive as this, you should rethink your approach on it. It's not like just any other video you might make, this is someone's mental decline being put on the big screen. More care would've gone a long way here I think. Not all stories should be told publicly, or if they are, with greater care. This is just my opinion though at the end of the day, and I could go on about a lot more but I don't think that'd be for the best. Take it or leave it.
It sounds cheesy, but speedrunning (like most things), isn't about the results. It's not the winning, it really is the taking part. To put it another way: It's not the records, it's the friends you made along the way.
i dont disagree with you, but to some people it is the competition itself that drives them to grind it out. its kinda like how gamblers are not after the winnings, they are after the high they get when they bet.
I hope he's okay, and that very recent live stream sounds positive. Being on the content grind is unrecognized as something that can wreck you. Hope's he's okay.
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When Saboom said "Why do I have a gift in some stupid videogame", I kinda felt this. When the only thing you don't suck at in life is something that just won't help you in life, you just end up thinking you're a waste of talent since you can't use it for anything else.
It doesn't mean you ARE a waste of talent, but it does mean you are CURRENTLY not directing it to where you should be. It's a fallacy of permanence to think you can't use it for anything else. Seek balance. There's nothing wrong with having niche hobbies if they bring you joy, but if they give you existential dread because you're over-indulging, seek balance one step at a time. If you're a talented speedrunner, it's absurd to think you can't use it for anything else; the ability to hyperfixate and to acquire and utilize advanced domain knowledge in a specific area is one of the most powerful and ubiquitously useful traits you could ever be bestowed. Even the precise mechanical skill is useful in so many fields. In almost every technical field, it is helpful. Do your best to limit your time on whatever activity makes you feel that dread, and spend more time TRYING NEW THINGS. I guarantee there are tons of activities that can both catch your passion as well as provide you immense emotional fulfillment.
It is a struggle because with such an ability, no matter what you do, you will be wasting your talent in some way. Fulfilling your maximum potential is absolutely impossible in one lifetime or even 100 lifetimes, that's just the way it is and that's okay. You don't have to reach your full potential. Even for a standard person, that's impossible. Stressing about opportunity cost of certain actions only leads to analysis paralysis.
Focus on the basics of life first, then give yourself the opportunity to find something to use your gift on that brings you happiness rather than misery by trying new things, even things that you think there is no chance that you would care about or enjoy. Also read "Notes from Underground" and try to get as far away from the main character mentally as possible.
The skill is basically learning a pattern with fingers, and repeating it as efficiently as possible in response to visual and auditory stimuli, I wonder if a musical instrument would be a good way to transfer such skill.
@@ryngobrody1627 absolutely. Also mechanical design and PCB design I can tell you first-hand are some specific applications. It absolutely baffles any senior engineer to watch you work on designing something with the level of speed and precision of a speedrunner, they'd bend over backwards to keep you hired.
Saboom was my introduction to speedrunning. His fluid gameplay and precise control over Spyro was always in a league of his own. If you showed me 100 different people playing Spyro I could easily pick out which gameplay is his, it's so distinct. Can't wait to watch this :)
EDIT: Video ended up being a bit more depressing than I’d wanted, but I suppose that’s because the image I have of Saboom in my head is a jovial, free spirit. When he’s spreading good energy it’s infectious, it’s something unique about him. So when he gets into these obsessive grinds that devolve into madness it’s very jarring because it’s the same coin, but a different side.
I do wish he could enjoy turning on a stream and play games in a normal sense, but it seems like the cycle often repeats itself. I remember during one of his returns he was doing some casual Crash 3 runs and seemed to be having fun. But then maybe a few days later the mic might go away and then the next the cam goes away and before you know it this guy is grinding 120% and you know the rest.
I’m glad I got to be around during the good times. I’m glad I got to meet Saboom at GDQ and hang out. I do remember asking him at 2 am at a ihop if he’d ever stop running 120 if he didn’t have world record. He pretty much said no, that he would always try to have world record, it was the only record he truly cared about. I guess that’s why I was so surprised when he broke his disc and deleted Twitch, but also equally unsurprised he was doing attempts as recent as a week ago.
To me it doesn’t matter if he ever goes live again or ever touches another controller, he’ll always be a legend. I just want the dude to be happy.
Didn't expect to see you here
@@devking13 On a video about speedrunning? Why wouldn't you expect a speedrun youtuber to be here?
You're just saying shit lmao
Speedrunners are just people waiting to transition and unalive themselves from their crippling autism.
Well made video retro, very boundary pushing for me at times, but it's undeniable that you put passion into the writing and execution. Sabooms story needed a video
Boundary pushing? How so?
It’s crazy to me to think about how I found saboom back in 2017 and not realize he was already in the middle of his spiral. I kind of breathe a sigh of relief every time he comes back to speedrunning just because I know he’s still alive. It’s always so strange to me how important ego is to him, but yet I’ve never seen him put anyone down other than himself while raising everyone else up around him. Truly a tortured soul, the cool kids always remember.
Excellent cautionary tale highlighing the extreme highs and lows only speedrunning can take you to. This story will definitely serve the speedrunning community as a whole well going forward. Great work as always 💛
18:46 when I saw "I'm gonna relax with Crash Bash" with the game in bold red letters slowly come onto the screen I laughed so hard I started tearing up
That was the worst thing you can do, knowing how hard it is, not in the case of speed running, but just casually playing the game
Using Crash Bash to relax is like trying to use cocaine to go to sleep
@@R0CKDRIG0 perfect analogy
@@Nostalgic_Gamer12 nah thats battletoads 😂
Life gets better once you learn how to lose and let go with grace.
Just like Christmas, it may come only once a year, but when retro drops a new video... It's guaranteed to be a banger.
You've never gotten socks for Christmas
I like how Chibi is legendary in speedrunning. Not for speedrunning, but for annoying a speedrunner, cheating at Paper Mario speedrunning, and flashing his "chibi" at people on Discord.
And Cosmos is there because he lost so bad at Smash he trooned out and changed his name to "Narcissa."
Don't forget his funeral antics.
I LOVE that jump.
@@1SpicyMeataballYou’re weird, dude.
@@isabellev9576 Its true tho
Speedrunning has always been about sacrifices. Spending the amount of hours to achieve faster times in old games. It is a hobby that should be at the bottom of anyone’s priority list but Saboom is the tale of it being the other way around. Thanks for making this video retro
Also fuck that animation at 49:30 is badass
Far for me to question the legendary Saboom, but if I wanted to have fun speedrunning, Crash Bash would be the LAST game I would play.
Monstrously epic drop
Best speed running documentary of 2024
41:26 LMAO
But fr tho sick vid. You really captured boom and i's personal relationship and im happy for that. Im a little surprised you didn't want my input on anything here, but i suppose there must have been some reason for that and that's OK.
Overall, i think theres more happiness and positivity in this story than the video conveys. The speed depression is definetly real, and I'm glad you didn't sugar coat it. But also, I don't regret a second of it, and i think saboom would agree. We are immesly lucky to have gone on this journey. Not many people get to experience something as beautiful as this journey, even for all its hardships.
This whole vid reminds me of a giant shitpost on /srg/ back when that was a thing. There's not enough funny shit like that in speedrunning anymore. Still I hope saboom is mentally well enough to laugh at these jokes.
Thank you for the comment it has been a pleasure to watch your whole journey along with Saboom
FINALLY this man gets a video. stephen aka saboom is one of the most interesting people i have ever met. he's a source of inspiration whilst simultaneously a cautionary tale in burnout. what i'm sure of however, spyro speedrunning would be nothing without him and his influence.
24:54 Crash Bash is the most underrated of insanely hard speedruns. It doesn't have the status of other games, but man... people get mentally ill playing it. I like to mention how LogicPQ, WR holder of I Wanna Be the Guy (both remastered and OG), which is quite literally the most famous rage game ever, plays Crash Bash too.
To me, Saboom is the greatest speedrunner of all time. Grateful for everything he did for the community and the games, grateful to have met him when he came to ESA, an absolutely unique and beautiful person who I will always remember.
Incredible video as well, retro. Can't imagine the work you put into this.
56:20 "saboom if you're watching this I just wanted to let you know that at the end of the day speed running not all about records and and like the obsessive nature over like having records and having to stay competitive"
@Tharixer, I know you mean well, but one thing you don't seem to understand is that for some people (I have ADHD, for instance, so I am neurodivergent), there is no middle setting. When I used to diet and try to lose weight, I could not just eat somewhat healthy and leave it at that. I went full bulemic, and would count all of my calories and nutrient intakes, and log every single packet of Splenda I consumed on a food chart.
My brain is either off, or it's on. 0, or 60. My neurology makes it impossible for me to just somewhat be attached to something. And I think Saboom is the same.
He literally cannot just play the games for fun. He either has to obsess over the records, or not play the game. But since he sunk so many thousands of hours into the game, he also feels he cannot just drop the game due to the Sunk Cost Fallacy.
Personally, while he definitely overdid it with speedrunning, and as a result it hurt his mental health, his relationships, etc. I can at least have some solace that it was JUST speedrunning. I think if he instead got hooked on gambling, for instance, he could have caused himself so much more harm.
I wish him well. This neurology sucks, but it has helped me a lot to just avoid things that cause me to have high levels of stress like that. I wish my brain wasn't like this, but since it is, it is what I have to contend with. And if Saboom has a similar neurology, it might be best for him as well.
Anyways, that's my two cents. Do with it what you will.
This is all very true. I also showcase many excessively addictive traits when Speedrunning. It's difficult to quit when you have your mind set on a goal or a world record. I'm not sure if my words were just taken out of context a bit, but what I was trying to say was that the community helped me immensely and isolating myself never helped. I understand not everyone can do that
I know you mean well, but one thing you don't seem to understand is that Stephen is not you. There are a billion and one factors that could be driving his behaviours. Just because they seem similar, it doesn't mean they are. The worst thing we can do is make assumptions, especially when we are just getting a slice of who they are through a documentary or their online presence.
Very well said. I'm diagnosed Bi-Polar II and it's scary just how IDENTICAL some of my divergent behaviours are to Saboom's. I obviously can't diagnose anything over the internet but I am with you that I strongly suspect a neurological issue. I really hope he chooses to seek help. I learned the hard way it can't be done alone.
Crash Bash is such a gauntlet of misery i swear lmao
great vid retro thanks for it
really well put together vid. i've got so much love for everyone mentioned/involved like ricky dayo chris etc and most of all saboom. he's one of the most interesting and inspiring people i've ever seen online. a great human and truly one of the good guys ❤
wtf this video needs more views. Amazing content. Thank you and keep going
Fantastic documentary... really highlights the dangers of a sunk cost mindset. I think just about everyone can relate to being at a low point and thinking, "It's already so bad, why not make it a little worse?" (43:10) .. I'd watched some of his speedruns over the years but didn't follow closely enough to know how hard it was on him. I hope Saboom finds what he's looking for in life, even if it's not as 'Saboom' anymore.
4:02 It's been 10 years since that 5any% of Ape Escape... Kind of insane to hear my voice from that long ago
Great video, man ^^
SSBMstuff was seriously on top of the playstation speedrunning scene back in 2012-2015
these vids just keep getting better!!
Really nice production!
The storytelling in this video is amazingly done. I was really glued to my screen here.
A momentous video on Playstation’s most important speedrunner. A toast to Retro! Your talents are unmatched.
Hey great video overall this was a great story and you put it together very well! One bit of feedback I'd like to offer is that you do this thing in your video where you may assume people's feelings or mental states even. For example, when Chris got back the 120 star world record around the 32:32 mark you say "and it was one of the happiest days of his life." I mean, did he say that himself? It somewhat sounds like it was just included for dramatic effect with no evidence given that he said that.
42:32 I'm surprised that I somehow made it into this truly amazing vid by taking part in one random Crash Bash race in 2017. Saboom and all the others were in the Discord call at the time. Good Times...
Self aware, too smart for his own good type of guy. Self reflective, philosophical. I find it pleasant listening to him speak.
This was a film, and even the overly dramatic bits have a legit reason for being in the script. Very well done, My 'Meister.
Why am I so invested, I've barely played Spyro lmao. Great video! Very interesting how far people can go on sheer willpower alone. I hope he learns to let go and enjoy gaming again
Incredible production
"I'm gunna relax with some Crash Bash" Famous last words
I've been mentioning saboom's counting of the jumping jacks for years, so I'm glad it's finally getting recognized lol
Finally a Christmas movie worth watching
So true, nice video.
I tried researching more about this saboom guy by googling his name - big mistake. Don't do it people.
lets go!!! great video
my greatest inspiration
this video feels like the best lithium ad i have ever watched.
This popped up on my TH-cam frontpage and I'm glad, what a phenomenal video with great pacing and editing. Im about halfway through but one thing I dont get, Saboom is really looked up to by many people as evident by the comments, but his need to be first seems so dystopian and toxic to me. I run FF7 no slots any % and after about 100 hours im close to gaining a time to get onto the leaderboards (probably very low but to me its still a goal!). I follow a few fellow runners too though and we all just do it for the love of the game. Neon_Genesis_ is a good friend I watch regularly who holds 10th place and puts such dedication in, guy is literally in tears when he breaks a pb or when playing the remake but if someone passes him its nothing but love and appreciation. Theres alot of toxicity in any game I guess but those who chase the number one spot for too long always seem to end up unhappy.
I still respect how much Saboom pushed the speedrunning scene and I have no doubt his community was top tier too by other comments.
Amazing video anyway, such research, respect and dedication. Im looking forward to checking out your other videos!
so proud to see high quality speedrunning content from up and comers like retro, 10/10 would show my whole family at christmas
I like how he sent the playstation to his competition so he could take record.
I really appreciate this video, this sort of toxic nature of speedrunning as someone who was once a legend of a speedgame, i know too well. It's not talked about enough.
The speedrun content goat delivering a christmas present 🙏
I love this video, and I haven't even kept up with any PS1 speedgames.
The word "passion" is overused to the point it doesn't mean much anymore but it's palpable with Saboom and Dayo. It's inspiring and dangerous all the same. Saboom is like the embodiment of the double edged sword of speedrunning obsession. Presenting this as a case study is terrifying, if you obsess over speedrunning I feel like most these emotions and the warped sense of identity and self-worth come with it as a packaged deal. It's the logical conclusion of pushing yourself to the limit (which is another overused term, but it feels very applicable here).
In some sense all these WR history videos feel whitewashed, like a celebration that ignores these darker aspects. This video feels so much more human. The mentality, the doubts, the much more genuine look into his psyche... The epilogue also really hit hard. Excellent work.
Saboom is and always was my favorite speedrunner. not because of his records or anything like that. just because his chats were fun and he was a cool person to be around. while i was going through a hard time in life, just watching him go for runs and be cheerful really helped me move on with my issues at that time. i hope one day someone can do the same for him. thank you Saboom, for helping me in one of my times of need 🕊️🕯️💕
6:46 why is it so easy to imagine Saboom chambering a round on a bolt action rifle with bloodshot eyes
im fucking choking my life away - saboom
Never heard of this guy, interesting to learn that he was on the couch and was the one that invited Chibi to it as well during that incident LOL.
same thing but it's a fun story to learn about.
MGS2... I played on hard until i beat the chopper boss after 3 hour... then i went in and saw VAMP was next... I tried for half an hour then erased the game save I could never beat Vamp on hard mode in MGS2
Amazing video. Saboom is a legend. To inspire others to reach their own true potential is an amazing thing to gift the world.
Great video with a good mix of funny and serious. I remember watching saboom way back in the early speedrunning days and enjoyed him immensely. If he ever reads this, I just hope he knows that whether he holds the record or not, he is still THE Saboom, and people will always love and respect him for what he's done. I love his honesty and hope he can use his platform as a way to explore himself as a person, beyond just speedrunning. He has more of a gift than just playing some PS1 game made in the 90s really well. But it's up to him to find it. Just never feel afraid for reaching out for help.
Awesome vid! Saboom is definitely one of my favourite runners. One of the all time greats.
Great video, the fist I've seen by you and definitely worth a sub. keep it up👍
Quality on the video is insane should have millions of views, subscribed :D
Here's the issue:
The type of person who gets world records is the kind of person that will not tolerate second place.
This type of person also does not understand that no one can stay on top forever. You need to graciously bow out on top of forever be seen as the villain.
Never back down if you know you can do it. The people who know they can't should bow out. However, competing for the top spot over and over again must get boring and exhausting eventually, especially if it's the same players. 1 thing that I dislike about certain games, crash bash has way to much RNG. Alot of speedrunners must be insane because alot of games ran have more RNG than skill and who cares about records at that point. Like yeah good job the stars aligned for you. Fuck RNG from someone who's wasted 10,000s of hours in MMOs RNG isn't my friend, skill > luck anyday. You could get record first try or 1000s hours later, I'd rather do anything else that increases my skill rather than praying to God.
Grinding your life away and getting frustrated or depressed isn't a healthy way to improve. People need to take breaks, even pros take breaks in any sport. I think alot of it is pure mentality and being able to keep composure with your feelings and heart rate in check.
I'm not a record holder in speedruns but I've been around the highest ranks in alot of online games and you need strong mental if you want to improve and be at the top, so I'm assuming it's quite similar. I've hit high in leaderboards in some platform game ILs but I've never tried to grind for top spots. I wouldn't want to stay on top forever unless I seriously loved the game and would never burn out which is basically impossible. It's easier for me to grind online games due to the "randomness" of other humans. In team games especially, although I do love 1v1 games like tekken so you can't blame teammates for being dogshit ahaha. The main thing is you gotta accept how it is, if you suck if you fail, if you wasted 1000s of hours, it is what it is. It takes time for some people it will be way longer but thats life. Get back to it if you love it or do something else if you have no passion left! :D
59:05 - 59:08 - Yes, whatever happened was worth because was useful for people to learn things from experience.
41:26 thats how legends are made myths in the future
Yo, he also played Ape Escape? This man has great taste.
I thought the same thing gotta love when speed runners have good taste
Yes. Way back in the day, I had a TH-cam channel where I did Let's Plays (including Ape Escape) and Saboom was one of my subscribers, and he left a comment on my channel asking me to check out his Ape Escape runs and I was absolutely blown away by how good he was. It was actually the first time I'd seen what properly running a game looked like.
Great video!
this is my first introduction to Saboom- he has an incredible story and I hope he can find peace in his lifetime. @51:44 I was close to someone who spoke similar to this when they were feeling under a lot of pressure, they were very very good at what they did but seemed doomed to be stuck in black & white thinking when in criticism mode- they were schizophrenic, though I hear a similar mania in Sabooms' voice here :-/ 🫂🫂🫂🫂
Excellent video thank you! I subscribed :-)
love this guy's music
Play the Silent Hill 2 Remake if you haven't. Those sad tracks are from it and it has a few other great tracks.
@saxoncook brother I meant saboom's
@@altnia lol true, that was a banger
Very mixed feelings about this video.
While you tell the small, public part of the story of a man whose life, issues and troubles we have no right to know about in order to explain how his extremes lead to pretty severe health conditions, you are also highlighting and in a way reinforcing or endorsing those toxic competitive dynamics: "He destroyed this and that record, this and that competitor", "He was no match for this and that", "He was afraid of him and what he """did""" to that other runner by just getting better PBs", "Putting this and that time or run or runner to shame".
Agonism is a painful, often disgusting game where everybody loses if they play long and well enough. Every record will be beaten and having been there with more than one game I feel pain each time I hear about a run "getting obliterated". Nothing got obliterated, these narrative and wording are exacerbating the same toxicity and rivalries that are the subject of this very video.
Even if I appreciate your obvious effort in documenting the story of a very influential and suffering person in his experience of the Internet, I found some depictions (i.e.: the freaking 3D render of Silent Hill 2 Saboom watching Dayo getting the WR or the cartoon version of Saboom breaking Spyro's disk) very untasteful, borderline offensive.
Enlighting video, but it only reminds me of how shitty competition becomes at high levels and how many reasons there are to only run against your own times and stay happy.
It was somewhat of a deliberate choice to use the competitive language, to get the viewer into that mindset (the same type of mindset that Saboom had), so that it can then be contrasted against and critiqued.
If the viewer gets into that mindset while watching, only to be confronted with the negative consequences of it later, then that is the effect I was going for.
The 3D Silent Hill scene and the disc snap scene were meant to be dramatic, yet also light-hearted and funny.
@@retro-meister I understand the reasons behind the wording. It seems to be the common way of writing these pieces of speedrunning documentary, and I suppose the dramatic scenes were a bit too fuch only for my own personal taste.
Great video! Really puts it all into perspective.
saboom will always be the playstation goat
Saboom superfan matt13
hi mr m13, big fan, can you explain to the audience the reasoning behind your scripted portion of the video? is it because you talk like you've got a mouth full of boiled potatoes? thanks
@@altnia you're still alive? yikes
@@altnia>seethes on stream to an audience of 3 for 6 months because he got dumped by a woman with fleas
wallahi i’m praying for you
Ohhh, blueglass, one of the OG of GDQ
I remember seeing the name "SSBMstuff" one time when I was searching up Spyro leaderboards, but I've never heard about Saboom's story until now. As someone who has also been consumed by the pursuit of video game accomplishments, I can deeply relate to him. It honestly felt like I was catching a glimpse of my future self that went down the path of video game grinds as his story was narrated throughout the video. Great video, but I'm left with a deeply unsettling feeling after watching this. Probably gonna contemplate quitting gaming altogether. Also I hope that Saboom is doing okay and has been able to find balance in his life.
I think the question of "was it all worth it" depends on if you enjoyed the time you spent doing something and the people you interacted with and maybe formed bonds with along the way. That's why ThaRixer's statement is potent. Speedrunning isn't just about chasing records. It's also about having fun and connecting with people over a shared interest. That goes with any hobby. You could chase a record until you die and there will always be someone there to one-up you. You'll go back and forth, but if you're not having fun doing that then... perhaps it's not actually worth it. It is much better to go do something that you're not as good at, but enjoy doing more, in my opinion.
He has all the symptoms of OCPD.
Excellent video. To me I got into this hobby well after Saboom left his mark and was regarded as the best speedrunner playstation ever saw. However, his story being a cautionary tale to not let the allure of leaderboards and top times is something I believe is important to present about this hobby. I remember hearing about his disappearance in 2022 and just felt concerned for the man, not because of his significance to speedrunning, but just as a human being who clearly wasn't in the best headspace.
The drive turned obsession and pride turned ego are things that can truly drive us to rash decisions and dark places. Even still, if nothing else I'll always appreciate the guy for beating to his own drum and helping to push these games to heights thought impossible. His play in S1 especially is something that can only be described as an artform and while he may never strive for or get record again, I'll always enjoy seeing him boot up for even a few runs when possible.
Wow. I've been watching Saboom on and off for years. Never knew his story was this dark. What I did notice is that when I tuned in on his stream one day he seemed like a totally different person. For a lack of a better word, he seemed insane. I figured he must've been using psychedelic drugs. But hearing all this now, loosing a relationship over videogames and your own ego, being unable to pursue anything else in life because you have an addiction this strong... damn. Insanely talented guy and everyone that's at the top of something HAS to be obsessed and a bit crazy. But I completely understand him when he says "I wish I was talented for something else". I would also be devastated if I woke up one day and realized that the 10k hours I put into some game I could've put into mastering an instrument, a language, drawing.. At the other hand, speedrunning is just starting to get the recognition it deserves and I believe his, and many others' legacies in this "hobby" will one day be greater and more impactful than they realize.
He’s not the same Stephen anymore. Speedrunning has completely overwhelmed his psyche. It’s interesting because speed running is more comparable to a pointless drug than an actual achievement. With the way time works, there will always be more time to be saved in a game. A speed runner will never be satisfied , even if they have world record. It’s like Sisyphus with the boulder. As they further engage with the hobby, their brains change and neural pathways form , they are psychologically addicted to it like a drug. Normally when people strive to accomplish things, there is a clear end goal. Example; writing a novel, making an album… with speed running it just seems like an endless chasing of the dragon for some people. I’m sure like with all things some are able to have a healthy relationship to it. But Stephen does not.
Something you left out of this documentary is how for all his years streaming Stephen struggled to accept donations and subscribers. He has been doing this for free basically his whole career. Compare it to somebody like dayoman who has made a whole career out of Spyro speedrunning. Which is a respectable and admirable thing. Saboom is playing for the love (obsession) of the game and nothing else. And at this point he needs to just walk away from games in general like he so desperately wants to. But he has to be willing to overcome an addiction . We are witnessing a man struggling with addiction.
Some people are criticizing this documentary as being too invasive and personal. I’d agree if this wasn’t the internet. Once you put something online, it’s fair use IMO. And to be honest the internet is kind of what has enabled Stephen for all these years to continue spiraling into his addiction. So let it be a lesson not to treat the internet as your therapist if you’re concerned with privacy.
With that being said you did a terrible job showcasing the brightness saboom brings to the world. He is a special soul and it would have been nice if you had at least taken some time to talk about some of that. But I’m not a fool, I understand how media and marketing works. So I get it, don’t hate the player hate the game.
Thank you. I do agree it would've been nice to show the brighter side more. That's kinda hard to fit into the video though, obviously the only clips I have available are the ones that people have saved/archived, and those are usually the more negative things like rage moments.
Most wholesome moments that would've happened on stream before 2016 are lost because the "clip" feature on Twitch only came in during 2016, around the time Saboom started the Crash Bash grind.
@@retro-meisterthis is one of the things that I thought about a lot while watching, unfortunately you only have access to so much history since he deleted so much, lots of highs and lots of lows that are just lost to the internet that probably made this video way harder than it might initially seem
I can't get over the ITV news anchor voice
the PS1 GOAT, you can’t hate saboom
RIP to a legend bro
Speedrunning is a helluva drug.
Moderation is key. that's how i do it
I thought saboom and dayo were gonna kill each other.
It's lonely at the top. 🏆
He is/was a great runner
39:00 I was really waiting for the "That runner... was me" xD
Incredible film, Saboom will always be a legend
This is why I play games for fun.
It's funny to hear the guy at the end talk about being young as a key factor and not realizing that a huge piece of this is someone growing up while also seeing their financial life tied to the content mill where he feels beholden to grind a game he doesn't necessarily want to play.
Life's hard, it gets harder when you have financial responsibility. I can't imagine the difficulty of streaming, on top of which people will go 'you play video games for a job how can that be hard', but you can see that here.
I hope he either finds a balance or leaves it behind. It's not as easy as people can make it sound or there wouldn't be stories like this.
Me: haha yeah that's right, my younger bro is kinda famous in the speedrunning community
This video: *drops*
One of S's old friends: hey Toby you should look at this
Me: ok, sure dude. *goes to look* wait... 11k views.......haha wtf 🙃😵
Anyway, gonna check this out. Thank you, OP, for putting in the time to create something in-depth about my bro! -Sibboom (Tobias)
Follow up comments incoming: oh he quit for the first time in Oct 2015? Kind of makes sense. We lost a parent 3 months prior. No one in our family was doing well
11:03 listening to X(JAPAN) I'll go ahead & take credit for that lol. Hey Stephen btw if you wind up reading these comments ily 💙
This dude is way too melodramatic
Some people love the style, but definitely not to everyone's taste. Might try something a bit different for the next vid.
@retro-meister I meant the saboom guy, but I guess you are too, to a lesser degree. Thank you
Kind of tragic to see all of these comments and statements that still talk about running as an important thing and hoping that Saboom would get the record when it is the opposite of what he would need to hear about. Introducing people to the game is not really an achievement if it could cause people to lose the value in their lives. More and more these days I feel that people need to focus on themselves and their value a lot more than some preconstructed product. But we also need to avoid being competitive in a naturally competitive culture where it just causes increasing misfortune for those who are really dedicated. Saboom is actually a very talented person. His skills in Spyro could probably be used somewhere else even. Once you have those kinds of reflexes and training skills it really is a special skill that few can match. It could be used for something like language learning even if it is a big leap into a different environment still. And I think the core problem in society today is nutrition and the suppression of health information that should have been obviously explored or that is explored but never recommended. I have spent half my life making big courageous changes in my nutrition and finally achieved a state where I can heal things I have had since birth or very young. And that is also a skill that can not be directly monetized as it seems so valuable but I have no degree and the jobs that would pay me for it probably would not pay me for the level of expertise I have. But I have learned this is a good thing as this skill canmake me into a millionaire just by applying it to myself and I could turn those around me into being equally productive as well.
That is a bit of a lesson on how Saboom and people like him could branch their skills uut. I think it is only because of gaming that I could strive so hard to improve my health and not be afraid of risks like the unenlightened. It is only because of gaming that I could keep my mind sharp and active when no opportunities seemed to be there for me. And I think gaming was also a place to develop my desires and goals, ones that did not seem possible. But I guess I should also give credit to the mysterious girl who told me to follow my goals without fear even if she turned out to be a very misguided person. She helped me find out that I should not give up everything to please my parents because I could still keep trying for my goals and if I could somehow convince them to be on my side it would be easy. I realized that the worst possibilities of failure were a lot lower than the possibilities of what could happen with my success even when my primary goal was not clear. I have come close to perishing in my journey many times, but I hope that the darkest parts of the world do not destroy me now that I have basically solved all of my personal problems and just need toime to get everything in place. But even if you do not have it all figured out, try to do the best with wha tyou have. Just existing and being present in mind is all that a lot of people need these days. But you can also cast aside your hatred and help out your enemy if it is the only person you can help. Given them something divorced from their desires as well as yours. Just spend time with whoever you can and represent yourself. It is easy to prove that your life is worth preserving in the face of danger and if you do not try then you might question whether you were better than your enemy.
Sorry for saying everything in the world. It's late.
I give this youtube video 5 BIG BOOMS!
SSBM is sad, but who remembers DODE? Easily one of the saddest retirement of speedrun...
Great video
A great man
Wow speedrunning sure looks fun
cool video, didn't know about this
I don't know anything about speed running but the PSTV portion has me wondering are speed runs not separated by platform? Kind of seems weird to not do if load times can lead to that much variance like having all race times whether it is a F1 or a rally car be put in the same category when they are different vehicles.
Generally what is considered legal hardware in a speedrunning context is any officially released hardware that can play the game in question. Leaderboards can get a little out of hand if we separate PS1, PS2, PS3, PSTV and whatever emulators that exist. The reason it was a gentlemen’s agreement to not use PSTV was because it adds a lot of input delay and nowadays I feel like you could even argue it should be banned due to accessibility reasons similar to a backwards compatible PS3 for PS2 games. But once that first record was taken it was grandfathered in and the game is now no longer fun to run for a lot of people that may want to chase for top times. Same issue with OOT and the iQue player. Technically an official release, technically faster, shit experience👍
PlayStation speedrunning had very much the mindset that as long as the game is the exact same between official releases, no separation should be performed. Loading times are not counted as a difference.
You are correct that it is not fair, but these decisions are done by the communities of the games. There are many games that split every release into their own leaderboards as well.
will forever hold the Doctor Who: Legacy world records for damage in 1 atk by 1 caracter, 1 taqm, and the speed for the anniversary stage. I hold other records as presented on my youtube channel but most are my personnal records, to show the breadth of games i master. Final Fantasy to NHL to puss N boots, TMNT, MTG Arena (1.07 billion counters on a creature) and other stuff. I CHALLENGE MYSELF! No need to be best of the world just to show the world i master many many games in different types
28:03 yeah uhhhhh, yikes?
Pretty shitty of him to read through her messages without permission, but even worse is her trying to cheat on him.
Honestly, even if it wasn't for Crash Bash, they still woulda broken up.
I think the cheating is quite a bit worse chief, he probably read through the messages because he suspected she was.
Dumb comment.
@@SockABusta the cheating is 100% worse. That's why I said "but even worse is her trying to cheat on him".
@@the1whoplayz That's after the fact, if he hadn't found out we would've never known he read the messages. Him being paranoid is proof the relationship was already damaged by him obsessing over video games.
i dont think we need to deconstruct this relationship that ended 8-10 years ago and has nothing to do with us really
Yeah I was pretty upset for him. Crazy that she admitted to cheating like that
I wonder what saboom things of this video.
The idea of speedrunning addiction and the negative impact it has on the people who take it the most serious is definitely an interesting topic, and i'd probably have enjoyed a video that tackled it more generally or thoroughly.
But this video just feels wrong. Delving so much into Saboom and his turbulent journey and personal life to make what point, that he is clearly suffering mentally? That much is obvious to most people who just know who he is, let alone his friends and fellow runners, and it just feels like you're grabbing a loudspeaker and broadcasting that fact to a wider audience to make some kinda example out of him... but does he deserve that? You're calling it "madness", which is a pretty medieval way to talk about mental illness. I would hope you at least talked to him before making this video, because this just feels like kicking a man while he's (very) down.
And if not him, where is Dayo?? As little as I know about the inner relationships of the Spyro community, it's pretty weird to see nothing from Dayo in this video when he has been a huge part of Saboom's story especially over the last few years, and described by Saboom in this video (from a clip you found) as Saboom's "best friend".
You make so many assumptions about how people feel, what they're thinking, where are the interviews with these people? I'm good friends with Ricky, and have nothing against Matt either, dont know Tiles or Goober at all, but why are these the only people you interviewed for this video...? Noone actually integral to this video had any say in it, besides clips you picked yourself from the past...
Bringing these people in to speculate so that it's not just you just doesn't feel like you've done justice to Saboom at all, or the people around him.
29:03 You just finished talking about how much Saboom had personally lost at least partly due to his Crash Bash grind, and then you go on to say "there was one man who stood to benefit", and then introduce Chris. What the fuck even is that segway. You really think Chris or any other top runner would've been happy about what was happening to Saboom? Or considered it a "benefit"?
41:00 This animation is deplorable. Are you trying to tell his story, or write it yourself? The weird animations and graphics, that are almost making a mockery of him and his situation at times, is also a super weird angle to be taking in a video that is at it's core about one man's mental decline.
This whole video gives the vibe that you don't actually care about this guy at all, and are just using his (admittedly fascinating) story as fuel for a TH-cam video, with little to no care about the person you're even talking about.
Maybe he doesn't feel the same, but I think if I was suffering in the way he is I wouldn't want some guy posting a video showcasing all my low points to point out how bad it really is/was, and making a mockery out of it, masquerading as some kinda psychological study, when in reality it's just you assuming the mental state of everyone involved, to make some content.
I hope that I'm wrong and that he infact did greenlight this video, and all this concern is for nothing. But I'd be surprised.
Firstly, I want to say that I started speedrunning Spyro back in late 2013. I followed Saboom's story for the last 11+ years, learned a lot from it and related to it personally. I knew that other TH-camrs would not make a video about it because they didn't want to touch on the dark/negative side of the story - most speedrun TH-camrs would rather just focus on positivity all the time, without ever addressing the negative side that most speedrunners can relate to.
With all that said, I am a very amateur video creator. Amalgamating all the available information, countless clips over the years, then organising them into a logical flow that will make for an entertaining video is an extremely difficult task. Many of the problems you have can be chalked down to the fact that it is a very challenging video to make, and as an amateur solo video creator I cannot get everything perfect. In fact there will be many flaws, many things I look back on and think "that could've been framed better", but if I kept trying to go back and redo everything then it would never get done. At some point I just have to pick a direction and go with it. I would also suggest that perhaps you take the dramatised statements too literally/seriously (e.g. the "there was one man who stood to benefit").
I find it funny that you call the animation at 41:00 "deplorable". To me it was a funny moment that acted as a light-hearted segue into the more depressing parts of the video. Actually Dayoman left a comment saying he found that part of the video very funny (that was also the response I got from other people I showed the video to before I released it). But just goes to show that everyone interprets things differently, and I as the video creator cannot begin to predict all the different ways the viewers will interpret each scene.
I did not interview Saboom or Dayo for a few reasons. But one of the main problems with interviewing subjects of the video, is that they can easily compromise the creative direction of the video. I don't want them starting to dictate the flow of the video, or asking to see it before it goes live so they can scrutinise it and approve it, or ask to remove parts they don't like. Especially when it is a video that covers some touchy subjects like this.
The last thing I'll say is this: I trust the viewer to interpret the video in their own way. Some viewers will watch and think "wow, he is a super inspiring speedrunner, but he made a sacrifice to achieve greatness". Others may treat it as a "lolcow" type video and think "haha look at that loser speedrunner let's just laugh at his misery". I tried my best to give it a good balance overall, but ultimately I'm not going to police people's own interpretations. I can only hope I have given enough information and perspective for the viewer to come to their own conclusions about it.
@@retro-meister You can't control how everyone will interpret your work, but how it is interpreted is still going to be at least partly on you.
I appreciate the level-headed response, but I feel like you didn't really address the main critique which is the serious lack of empathy in the video.
You commented a fair bit about the creative direction of the video and what people will think of the video, but that's not what I was criticising primarily and I don't find it as important either.
I don't think you gave a good reason for omitting interviews at all. A sensitive topic like this you can't just throw away the best resources at your disposal to better understand and explain this story, just because those people *might* be a little difficult to work with (if they try to make demands or creative decisions).
You could've asked them for interviews, and then not used them if that became an issue. But you didn't, unless I'm misunderstanding what you said.
Even then, if you had interviewed them and they'd been a bit imposing and trying to look over your shoulder, why shouldn't they?
As much as this is your video, it is *their* story that you are telling, and it's only natural that they'd want to know and/or influence how it is told, and this is a serious topic, as much as you tried to make it light-hearted at times throughout.
The fact that you view it as "compromising" the video is a bit odd, considering they didn't (i assume) ask you to tell their story, and would be perfectly reasonable to not want it told. If you wouldn't want to tell it how it is, because you think it'd make the video different in a way you didn't like, then that to me is you warping the story you're telling, more than they are "compromising" your video. You have to fit your video around their story, not the other way round, *especially* in this case I would've thought.
The fact you're a Spyro speedrunner should if anything make you more invested in this being told right (I would've thought), instead of some random TH-camr who has little to no connection to the community figurehead they're documenting. Especially if you personally feel some connection to it, I find it quite strange that someone who that applies to would make such a video in the way you did.
I can tell you put a lot of work into this, and I've been nothing but negative so far, but I think if you're going to try a video about a topic as serious or sensitive as this, you should rethink your approach on it. It's not like just any other video you might make, this is someone's mental decline being put on the big screen.
More care would've gone a long way here I think. Not all stories should be told publicly, or if they are, with greater care.
This is just my opinion though at the end of the day, and I could go on about a lot more but I don't think that'd be for the best.
Take it or leave it.
It sounds cheesy, but speedrunning (like most things), isn't about the results. It's not the winning, it really is the taking part. To put it another way: It's not the records, it's the friends you made along the way.
i dont disagree with you, but to some people it is the competition itself that drives them to grind it out. its kinda like how gamblers are not after the winnings, they are after the high they get when they bet.
I hope he's okay, and that very recent live stream sounds positive. Being on the content grind is unrecognized as something that can wreck you.
Hope's he's okay.