I am dealing with this right now. My son wants to know about his "father". I got pregnant by a sperm donor while dating a woman. The woman is nowhere to be found. She doesn't understand what being a parent is. Its more than just finances. She is looking at it from a cold overly logical stance. I wish, that I had done it another way. Today I have to deal with the men I date and hoping that it will somehow add up. As a mother of 15 years, I don't want to take having my son back, but I wish I had done it differently. I am sure he does to. He asks me about it sometimes. Single parents are fine. Yea we survive. But having that other parent is crucial. Having a male and female influence is crucial even in same sex relationships. Anyone trying to ignore that is selfish.
What I say may sound cliche but here it goes. Women shield their children from the world. Men (good men) prepare children for the world. The outside. How to deal with the real. Broad generalisation. There are exceptions. Fathers learn children to deal with the real world. While women want to keep the children as long as possible away from the worlds challenges. It is a pattern. Some women can do the father role. But most cant do that.
In this day in age the terms are father and mother, maybe in the future they change, but the truth is there, 1 person cant raise a kid... we as humans have evolved so even more people other than the parents in tribes take action in the raising of the kids... hell even monkeys do this... infants need to be raised by these different personalities to do well in life, even if is a lesbian couple, one has to be more nurturing while the other need to be more blunt, one needs to be more assertive and the other more submissive... thats why there is the saying of "opposites attract each other". You may be more comfortable by raising a kid alone because your ideas won't clash nobody, but that leaves no room to evolution... Take raising a kid as a tunnel with 2 walls, left (motherly) and right (fatherly), the kid is trying to go in a straight line, but it goes on a weird angle and clashes to one, seeks guidance and try to go on a straight line, but what if that wall has a bump, well the kid bounces again and goes to the other wall... guess what happens if there is not another wall...
So many women have the kid for the sake of it ,it's vwry obvious, especially if their friends all have families etc and they have gotten old and doing ivf ...they had so long to find a partner
She's obviously dealing with some issues that stem from a lack of a relationship with her father. So in her mind she's going to save her child from the same experience.
A lot modern women like this have babies and don’t make great parents. Yet the man would make a great father. The women think they matter more then the father just because the baby came out her vagina. Men don’t have donor kids because he wants a FAMILY and gives up his personal life, works hard to provide. Women can work hard but they still get supplemented by the father or government. The man does it on his own.
I grew up in foster care, 24 different homes with my brother and sister. I can still remember laying down in bed wishing I had parents. I have 4 kids now and they will never experience that loneliness.
Right? My mom always has made more money than my Dad, and my Mom may have been the more dominant presence in my life as a kid...but my Dad was still there and I learned a lot from him, I learned how I should be treated by men and how I deserve to be respected by men(my Dad never spoiled me and I was never a daddy's girl). Having a male presence in any kid's life is sooo important.
@James Smith If they listen to the wrong Women/people, Yes. It's the Mentality of it, They could easily think they are better because they earn more, Just gotta be concious of the consequences.
I grew up in a two parent home. It’s my dads voice I hear the most when I have to make hard decisions. When I’m going through anything, I call my dad first. I stayed a state away and anytime I was in emotional duress, my dad would call and say “IDK why but I just felt like you’re not ok today. Are you ok?” Man that STILL baffles me as to how he could do that! My dad can read me better than my mom can. ANYTIME something is wrong and I’m putting on a fake smile for the world, my dad looks at me long and hard and asks “are you happy?” And can tell when I lie and say yes. I always say if there’s a such thing as having a twin heart, it would be my daddy. He’s getting older and I already mourn the day he leaves this Earth. I really don’t know what I’d do without my daddy. He really is my heart.
This whole conversation happened because she didn’t have a father figure. Had she had that experience, she would realize the invaluable gift of a father’s presence.
Not sure why here father wasn’t financially providing. Not sure why her mother would make the choice of creating a child with a man who couldn’t provide.
My father was very hands on, taught me values, skills, and emphasized family. In hindsight, he probably saved my life...he put me in football when I was 6 and kept me in it until I graduated and was off to college. He told me as an adult that he wasn't bout to have me running the streets with nothing to do. I was always in the gym, at practice, in school, or in game. Most of my friends I grew up with are dead and I'm only 25. Thanks dad for your foresight.
@@botondnemesnagy5354 drugs, gangs, a few of them killed eachother then they'd get killed in retaliation. To the point where my childhood friend group is basically dead or in jail, but we went our separate ways as kids. I was in sorts so much I couldn't hang out with them anymore and I just gradually separated from the group
Nah bro, your dad had hindsight. He saw the shit that happened around him and used the past to create a better future. His actions instilled foresight in you. Keep that foresight and wisdom strong homie
"I was raised by a single mom and she did her best but she still didn't do a good job". I felt that 100% . Fathers play an incredibly important role to sons and daughters alike.
And yet you see society and women undermine and vilify them at every opportunity. When are women going to wake up and realize that at some point, which appears to be happening today, that men are not engaging women anymore....let alone marrying them. What are YOU doing to change this? Until the courts change, until women start appreciating men for more than the WAP they desire...our society is screwed.
Im genuinely confused tho which issue are people having a problem with. Is it her mindset/ reasons for not wanting her child to have a father or just not having a father overall. Cuz in my opinion, I dont see the problem with getting a sperm donor and then raising the child. I mean its kinda up to the mom to find a partner, its not like you will just introduce a father into your child’s life just randomly. And then coming to her mindset, I agree what she is saying is definitely disrespectful and a bad way of thinking about men’s role in society and in a child-father/ family dynamic. But I just think she may have a reason for thinking this way, its not like one day she was gonna think of her father as a bank, and then hate other men. There is problem a reason she thinks that, which is contorting the way she thinks about her father’s significance in her life. And thats not up to us to decide on, I guess we can make all the assumptions we want, but we cant judge her until she explains her reasoning further. I just think ppl are upset because its not the way they think, and she’s generalizing it to all men. When I just like to think of it as her own opinion. Many women have gone through a similar experiencing of raising the child on their own at first because they just want to. So I dont see the issue in that. But I also understand ppl’s sentiments on the importance of a father, and how its very undervalued in todays time and treated unfairly even under the law. So I agree its quite a toxic mindset to have when raising a child, and teaching the child about the relationships in their life. But for whatever this women was saying, I guess we can agree to disagree.
No matter what her "reason" for thinking this way may be. It is wrong, and she needs to go to therapy to resolve her issues. Before bringing another life in this world and passing over her issues to them.
My son is 15 months old and I am literally invisible when my husband is around. He is my husband's shadow, they are best friends and have an amazing bond. It's lovely to see. Children need both parents ideally.
I am a father of a 2 year old and a 4 month old daughter. When I'm at home my son does exactly what you said and I'm pretty sure my daughter will follow even stronger. My wife says that he misses me because I am naturally away for work during the day but I believe she is partly wrong because when I'm at home for many days he doesn't change his pattern. I believe that my son is all on me because of my masculinity, he is learning from me, he feels the genetic connection. Sometimes I feel bad for my wife, I would totally understand if she got jealous but fortunately she is not. Our priority is always the best for our kids not ourselves.
@@Giokosmik and let's face it, dads are a lot more fun than moms. One thing you may find out though is little girls play different than little boys. I tried to play with my girls same as my boys, they wanted more role playing and less rough housing. It's all fun though.
My parents divorced when I was 3. When I reached my teens, I was heavily influenced by thug/street culture and my mom could no longer control me. Even though I didn't live with my Dad, he would pick us up and take us to his house, send us birthday gifts and kept in touch with us. I feared disappointing him. He never put his hands on me once in my life. He just spoke to me with wisdom and a masculine voice and that had more influence on me than 100,000 punishments and whoppings from my mom. When nothing she did worked, she would call my Dad
@@bribro23 you are missing the whole point, people who grow up with a dad that’s shit affects the there is a reason why 80% of prisoners in jail come from a single mom household, 70% of youth suicide come from single mother homes, 90% of the people on the street come from single mother homes, that doesn’t mean they all didn’t respect or love their moms, or that their mom didn’t try their best, but whether you like the thought of it or not, a child needs both parents, trust me I was on of those, and there is millions of others, the numbers are scary and disturbing but they don’t lie
@@bribro23 A kid without a father figure at home will find a father figure in the streets,- Denzel Washington, it’s true, a kid from single parent household is the biggest detriment to the black community, and most communities in general, there a 1000s of books, psychology studies that go in depth about this and it’s not good. Good luck to you and your child if you have this mindset. I wish all the best to you and your future or current children
It sounds like she still hasn’t dealt with the trauma of growing up without her father, to the point that she denies being hurt because she didnt “miss out or anything”. Sister, it doesn’t make you weak or bad to be hurt as a child for dealing with neglect. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want that to happen to her and her child so she’s just skipping the man from the beginning. Basically self sabotage. I wish healing and love to all 💕
Ye 100% agree , it's the only reason why she would think this way. Like all the other shit beside, TWO IS BETTER THEN ONE. That's how basic this arguement needs to be honestly.
I can think of lots: 1. Discipline 2. Tough love 3. A male perspective 4. A role model for a son 5. A guardian for a daughter And most importantly 6. Dad jokes 🥰
@@quanzy121 i dont play more with my kids :/ not yet, im busy af to get a job that pays decently. I would say that part depends, but i also think its important that kids are required to know how to entertain themself without the dependency of having a clown around them. Honestly. Balance is important.. A single entity in the household can barely bring balance to the table... unless he stands in the middle of it no matter what, im aware of that
From just a psychological perspective good self esteem in girls comes from the father figure in early development . Not to mention learning relationship skills just by observing the parents interacting with each other .
As a man raised by a single mom who was amazing and worked her ass off to provide and did everything she could and always went above and beyond to be there for me, there were things that as a young man I need a father for. Even though my mom and I had a very open relationship and I felt relatively comfortable telling or talking with her about almost anything there were things about becoming a man that would have been much better being taught to me by a dad. It’s easier for a woman who was raised by a single woman because she has gone through the same things at one point her life and understands what the daughter is going through. A young man trying to be taught or have things explained to them by someone who really doesn’t know what it’s like does them a huge disservice. Just like when my daughter starts dealing with boys and her period or sex mom is the one she will turn to and rightfully so I have no idea what having a period feels like or any of the changes she is going through. This is true for young boys and the best way for young men to learn to take responsibility for their own children is by having a father who took care of them and showed them the right way. With both parents working together the child and society both become so much better off.
My dad died before I was born. My daughters love their dad so much. I’m so glad they have him in the home every day. DadS do a lot more than just provide income.
A loving parent is a wonderful thing. it's like some people don't understand that dads are loving parents too. And if the parents are together, and they're loving to both themselves and their child, then that's a damn good template for that child for a future relationship and a future child that they might have.
As a kid who had two parents in the home and a majority of my friends did not, the idea that someone would WILLING CHOSE to be a single parent, mother or father, is just completely insane.
I can tell you straight, the only reason I'm ok right now and not on the streets like 95% of my friends in school was my dad told me don't go out, stay in class. She has no idea what she'll do to her kids.
I want to be a mother but if I never marry I wouldn’t have kids. I grew up with an amazing father and I wouldn’t want my kids to grow up without that. People need to realize that the child’s well being is more important than their longing to be a parent.
@@mysticstrikeforce5957 also knowing that my kids are safe when we are all together.the bogeyman wouldnt try coming into my house,hed be leaving in carrier bags
I can’t believe she actually believes that she would bring a child with a friend Sperm rather than a donor .. having a child for her is more like playing house. She is not realistic. She had the audacity to say then that a father is not essential cuz her mom did it. She is having major daddy issues. This is why her priorities are f***up. Fill in a need. #Fosterachild. So many children need parent figure.
Absolutely!!!!! People arent really thinking that their raising little people....and what that means. Kids know nothing and literally every single think you do matters and you never know what will imprint on them.
Too many people think that parenting is about having a happy and healthy relationship and being financially stable. Lots of these people NEVER consider that the child is a person with emotions that never asked to be born and raised. You have to acknowledge that when you are having a child, you are raising a person with emotions, feelings, thoughts, ideas, they are not a copy paste slate of one or both of you.
I became a single father because my wife passed when my daughter was 2. I would never wish single parenthood on anyone. My daughter is 4 now and she tries to attach herself to almost every woman she comes into contact with. She's looking for a mother figure, looking for someone to imitate, to relate too. And the fact that I can only do so much in that regard is stressful and saddening by itself. Let alone the financial, and day to day obligations of just being a parent; it's not something to be taken lightly AT ALL. Because what if something happens to me as well? How will that effect her? Who will she have to lean on? When gets older, who will be the person to help guide her through womanhood? I can and will do my best, but there always be those gaps in her development that daddy can't fill...
It's so hard, the stress of wondering that someday you might not be enough for her, how will you teach her lady things, the fear of failing to provide a home and food. Don't worry, you will be amazing because you will never stop caring for her!
Sorry for your loss, i wish both you and your daughter the best. People are just ignorant and think they can fit into everyone's shoes that's the society we live in today
I am glad you are doing the best you can and REALLY trying for your daughter. The fact that you are paying attention to her needs on this level is amazing. Good luck to you both!
She’s trying to play this whole strong, hero, brave single mother trope, when in reality she’s self-righteous and unnecessarily putting her future children at a disadvantage to stroke her own ego.
Exactly, her selfish ignorant venture is all on the child's tab, basically at that child's expense.... If this situation was a meal, dinner would be on the child
my neighbours, its a 4 girl house hold, mom and 4 daughters. dad booked it. and they got it all down pat. operationally the household works. for heavy things, they hire. but she said in confidence that, she struggles. male attention, how to interact in a mixed environment, dating. when i asked why she thinks she struggles so much ( i thought a hardcore feminist answer would come about oppressive and harassing patriarchy (not saying shed be wrong depending on he experiences) she said. "you know, it seems he didnt want me". she is 33. she wanted for nothing in her life, on a technical level, except for male presence in her life. i didnt think it a irl truth (dont believe everything you see on tv), but she accepted pretty rough treatment from men, thinking "hurt and leave you", is what men do. and it had left scares and pain. i think she wont be at peace till she finds A wholesome male presence.
Having a father present is very important as long as he's a good role model and sets a good example. Having bad role models of either gender is an enormous problem.
She doesn't know what a father brings because she doesn't have a relationship with hers. Anyone who grew up with an involved father...they know. Fathers are important
Nah, my dad was never with me since I was born, and I know for a fact fathers are important because I never had one in my life, people just grow up deciding to be dumb
One of the many things my old man thought me before he passed away is that the world will always throw shit at you, so stand your ground and focus on yourself.
@@elysian179 I dont think thats necessarily true. Some kids grow up to be dumb because their parents are dumb, kids are like sponges, they pick up on parents mannerisms like nothing, be it negative or positive mannerisms. But yeah both parents need to be involved and loving in a kids life for the kid to have the highest chance of being the best possible him or herself.
My dad was present but inactive either way I know active fathers are important. My friend's Dad gave amazing advice and was so supportive of their kids. I knew immediately that I was missing out on a lot. My dad had a terrible childhood that he still hasn't received therapy for so he gave the best he could wish was money. I wish more people would handle their demons before procreating to prevent passing down the trauma.
I'm 61 years old and I am so grateful that my father was in my life. My dad set the spiritual and emotional tone of the household. He provided wisdom and guidance. I am not knocking anyone who did not have their dad in their life but when you have a dad that is invested in the child's development it is certainly beneficial.
Women think emotionally, men think logically. When you have too many single moms raising kids, we end up with narcissistic behavior due to these kids being taught their feelings matter above all else rather than learning the hard truths and parts of life that shape and mold is into who we are.
@James Smith or at least the fault of government policy which, given feminisms push for EQUITY in recent years, is no surprise. It’s gotten to the point I’m tempted to bring lawsuits against the government for those clearly sexist misandrist policies they love to push down our throats.
@Silver & Cold men raised by single moms are more emotional than men raised by both parents, men raised by single dads are even less emotional. There IS a balance.
1st Take: "My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier." Yours sincerely, Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook 2nd Take: “My music is always going to make a woman feel like a bad bitch. When you make a woman feel like she’s the baddest bitch in the room, to me, that’s female empowerment.” Decently yours, Cardi B. My Humble Take: What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way. *The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar *The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell *The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis *Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe *Men on Strike* by Helen Smith *Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous .
She asked what else a father brings besides money because she genuinely is clueless to what a father could bring to the table. She hasn't had that loving experience. My dad died when I was in 1st grade and I still greatly cherish my time spent with him. People don't know because they haven't had the chance to know.
Absolutely, how do you explain the connection of a daughter to a father of you never had one? I know my relationship to my father is different to my mothers and the things he provides me is different to my mother and I don’t think I could quite articulate that to someone outside my family
You guys are so right: fathers are just as important as mothers. I couldn't imagine growing up without my dad. He has shown me more affection than my mom. My dad was my hero when I was growing up. Even my husband has a lot of values and beliefs very similar to my dad's. He's a lot like my dad and they also get along very well, and that is a huge blessing.
My respects to Aba and Preach on this one. As a married dad, I can tell you that I see the effects on my daughter and my special needs son when I'm home and when I'm not home due to work requirements. I can say that I'm happily married but it's no cakewalk. My wife and I bump heads more than we have "lovely times". But in the end, we both understand that those kids of ours need us in our primary roles: Mother and Father. Each role having its particular strengths and weaknesses. We complement those roles as best as we can for the benefit of our kids. Bringing a child into this world is not some cool trick that you can just do and forget about it when you get tired of it. Aba your hot take is spot on. Don't worry about who gets butthurt over it. These women are out of their ever-loving minds if they are WILLINGLY okay with putting a child in a fatherless situation. Glad I got lucky and punched out of the game when I did. I could not see myself taking any of these women seriously if I was single. This needs to get out to every single man out there. Do not put yourself in a situation where you have to deal with this nonsense.
No one takes them seriously. They are seen as merely pump and dumps by most men. Good men wouldn't touch her with a stick. Bad men will never want to stay with her to begin with.
@@dirtydead4144 Many people in western society are only concerned with getting their check marks done and eating their cake as well. It's the culture. It's not a bad thing for women to have kids young (health reasons for the child) but it is if they're not mature yet and at the rate we've been going with neo-women empowerment crap, finding young AND poised women is akin to finding needles in haystacks. You're always better off going after women who grew up in two parents households were both parents love AND respect each other. Because even two family homes were parents are emotionally or physically abusive to each other are worse than single parent homes with a poised parent.
@@Foatizenknechtl definitely better to stay together even when they’re fighting. My parents used to fight all the time and came quite close to getting a divorce, but they stayed together for my sisters and I. Watching them argue endlessly and yet deciding to stay together has been a more powerful lesson in setting differences aside for the greater good than anything else I can think of
My mom left when I was 5 and I've always struggled with a deep sense of worthlessness and left wondering if it was something I did or didn't do. A child needs their parents. BOTH of them.
That being said, The research suggests not-having a father is actually far more damaging than the other way around. Western Society has it bass-ackwards.
I feel you .... people don't talk about the psychological damage of being abandoned as a child.... I guess often they think because they were abandoned in young years that there isn't a big impact on the psyche. My parents moved to Europe 2 years ahead of us. Some months ago my aunt told me how I (as a 6 year old) blamed myself, asking if my parents left me because I was a bad child... that I was so sad that I spent weeks at my cousin's house to deal with the sadness. Even today when I loose contact with anyone, I blame myself thinking it's something that I have done. A lot of children in my family/old neighborhood had to deal with one or both parents going overseas and leaving them behind. Even though most of them have a normal relationship with their parents.....there is still a lot of recentment...even if the parents did it with good intentions
@@redpilljesus I concur, when my mother left my sister and myself with my father and ran off with her new man, we struggled at first, but were able to quickly regain our composure in life due to the stability and guidance provided by my father. No, he is not father of the year, yes is a drunk who argues a lot, but his presence is extremely important, and the proof is in the pudding, my 25 year old sister is a traditionally good girl, doesn't party or go out or get drunk or do basic 2021 girl things, has a stable job and a stable relationship with one man. I've started 3 businesses so far, one of which is self sufficient and the other two are almost there as well, we're doing pretty alright. I have a lot of friends who were in the same situation, but the mother ended up with custody, and I hate to talk badly about my friends, but they aren't doing as well as we are, some of them have far stronger educational backgrounds, much better familial connections, their families are much wealthier, and are still unable to put it all together. There is something to be said for the emotional stability a father provides, well that and him going to the ends of the earth to make us happy, my sister is 25 and still doesn't have a license because my dad is her personal chauffeur lol
@@redpilljesus I've heard that the most important relationship is the same sex one: so if you're a girl, then your mum's the most integral, and if you're a boy then your dad is.
My son is 7 years old. So far Ive taught him how to defend himself against bullies, I taught him how to read , I taught him how to brush his teeth, I taught him how to have confidence in himself and I am currently working on instilling within him the proper characteristics that he will need to overcome the obstacles he will face in life. This is sad .....
Facts, i taught both my girls to read, to write, to swim etc their momma taught them alot of ither stuff but a dads role is absolutely key. I wish my dad had been there for me. I had to use his absence as an example of how NOT to be.
“I’ve already done my own research” Translation: I’m only googling certain topics that I approve of. I really do hope that Aba talked some sense to her after this interview and that she rethinks her entire situation.
"How much does it cost to raise a child in USA"" "Yahoo questions: Can I raise a child as a single mother? Random answer: Yes, totally :)!" "How much does a diaper cost?" "How often should I breastfeed?"
I resent my mother for the way she raised me to believe that my father was a terrible person. I only really began to know him after I graduated high school, and he's the greatest person in my life now. Feels like I was robbed of a childhood
From a father that has an ex that does the same thing, your dad missed the joy of being a dad to a little kid. That is the best part about being a dad.
@@majorchungus you’re not wrong brother I’m about to have a son and the mother to my daughter is currently doing this and I can’t help but picture her resenting her mother when she grows up
Look at the numbers and available research on how bad girls suffer under growing up without a dad, the outcome is staggering and it is all just ignored.
Golden nuggests right here. Loved this. It's not just that a child needs both parents but the child needs them to be happy and content with their lives. I grew up in a family where my parents fought all thet time. Talked down to each other all the time. I grew up very mentally unstable because of that. They were ao lost in their own drama that they didn't pay attention to what I needed. I was unstable till my 30s began and I actually started focusing on calming myself down and focus on what I need. I am still figuring it out and I am hoping to find a life partner who is right for me and I hope I am right for him too. Pray for me. Love from India.
My father died when my mom was pregnant with me, I would never wish anyone to grow up without a father. This affects kids so much more than we think. If you can help it please give your children a chance to have both parents around!
Wow, so sorry for ur loss at such an early (pre any age in ur life).😔😔 I agree, Fathers are so important in a child's life. Both parents. I lost my Mom in Valentines Day when I was 1. I'm in my 30's now and to this day, I miss my Mother. Both Fathers and Mothers are ingrained in our hearts and regardless if we werent around them growing up to get to know them, we yearn for the connection and big hole their absence leaves in our lives.
That's YOU. Just Like her. I never felt like I was missing anything. You can only speak for yourself as every child without a father doesn't feel that way.
@@SourStrawberrys Theres a reason why this is mostly a fact. I understand youre looking into the exceptions right now, and not the rule. I grew up without a father too, and i dont really feel like I missed anything either. But MOST people will not process this the way we do My dad was a bit of a selfish sociopath, maybe he passed that down to me. Gee thanks father😁
I know I'm a little late on this one, however i still want to give my input on this topic. I started studying psychology and I'm going through therapy. Funny thing is that mother is a caregiver, while a father is the most important figure in terms of your social development and development of your values. I had to become my own man, actually still not fully one. Sounds great. In reality it's a real pain. Especially if you don't find other father figure, you're going to have to go through a lot of experiences just to learn things and get perspectives on life in a time, where your peers got those thing many years prior to you. I know that even when I finally mature, I'm STILL going to lack on many crucial things. Let's call it stagnation of development due to absence of father figure. So PLEASE, let's aknowledge that fathers play a REALLY important role in child's development.
@@janekserafin7292 so I did a lot of just research here and there, I won't say intensive because it's not like I was nose deep in scientific articles, though I did read bits and pieces of articles. Having two parents is ideal, why? It's because that's just how society is. People forget that it's not always about mental health or those things, but often times it's a very simple reason; most people have this but I do not. That's really all it can take sometimes to make someone go crazy. I don't like to go to deep into "Father figure" and "mother figure" because let's be real in China (where I lived for years), many people have two parents but their fathers are almost non-existent. That's starting to change these days however people went through that are still going through that by the thousands and many are doing just fine even though their father is barely there to instil teachings into them. So the idea of needing the father to teach certain things, that is not always necessary for everyone, however it is ideal to have. Since obviously people that have two parents even if one of them are barely there, still feel often better compared to those with only one parent in the house. That's because they "feel" normal. Again its not so much because of we need father figures or mother figures to make sure the child grows up well. However, we need to recognize that in this world people like to feel normal and not the odd ones out. Having two parents (mother and father ) will definitely be the ideal starting condition you can give a child. So what I say to people that want to raise a child alone... Make sure you understand what is reality and what is fantasy; that's number 1. Next is realize you will have play both mother and father, which will be extremely mentally and physically exhausting since you will have to set an example depending on whether you have a daughter or son. Another thing, if you in the long run decide to introduce a mother or father to the child, do realize it's not as simple as adding the last piece of the puzzle. You have to really make sure the person is right for your child which will already have certain understandings or behaviors probably by that point. Lastly, you will 100% need to have 99% of your attention on your child and be aware of everything that goes at school, because fatherless or motherless parents are often bullied because kids are mean!!!
My 8 year old boy lost his mom last year, and I constantly think about him not having motherly love and the feminine influence in his life. My sister fills a little of that void, his grandmother his nieces, but still I can't stop thinking about that. He's doing great by the way. Thanks Abba and preach, this one really hit home.
my condolance on your lose but my respect on your views! the advice i can give you as the fourth and youngest boy from a sigle parent family. be his dad and only his dad because thats what you are his only father dont let him lose that to. because you cant be both. my mom tried to full the void but eveantualy she couldnt be both so she became neither. keep the the woman of the family close and let them be the women they are for him.
Μy condolance I'm a 22 year old female that lost her mother at a young age. It was hard at times, but ultimately me and my dad made it and so will you!!
Dude I'm in the same boat your in its so hard as a single father to try to fill that role keep your head up brother that kid will appreciate what you do love is love happiness is happiness
I'm a fatherless daughter (he abandoned our family). My Mama struggled. I also have 2 adult children from 2 different men as a result of countless irresponsible and fantastical decisions. I still feel the effects to this day. She's delusional af imo.🤦🏾♀️🤯🥺
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I honestly think she's hurting and hasn't processed that. She sees relationships with men as merely transactional
When I was young I went over to a sleep over at my friends house, and I saw the father son relationship my friend had. I was so mad, jealous and felt like I had been cheated out of something. I would hold that feeling of something is missing till this day, no one can answer my questions about manhood, and what to do when this happens to you as a man. Ask a woman they don’t get it because they have never experienced it and never will. Deatbeat mothers wanting accessories not the life long commitment that requires sacrifice. Children are not something stunt on people with.
I don’t know about y’all but I basically heard, “I’m going to irresponsibly take on a new responsibility that will severely impact the people that I bring into this world. I am also prepared to brag to everyone how I did it by myself even though there could’ve been a better way of doing it if I was more open minded”
This is why I'm 32 and don't have children. It's not because I don't want any but I realize who you have a child with really matters short and long term.
@@kieraholmes3828 I'd be lying if I say I don't think about it. However I realized there in has to be alignment. It's one thing is you're a little uneven it's another when it's dead weight.
@@brandonf.8360 The world needs more people with this mindset. People just have kids just to have them, not taking into consideration the long term effects. Very well said.
She’s 27 and thinks she knows everything a father could’ve brought he to the table. I’m in my mid 30s and am STILL realizing the things I missed out on by not growing up with a father. She thinks she knows, but she still has a lot to learn.
@@TomikaKelly The problem is, how can she know what she missed to even miss it? She doesn’t even know the things she missed out on, and now she’s robbing her potential children of it too. That’s hella selfish.
It's not just two incomes that make children of two-parent households better off, statistically on average. It's having two reliable, nurturing people around. Life is hard, and no man is an island, as they say.
Don’t get discouraged, there’s a lot of us that still crave a traditional household, who understands the critical roles moms and dads bring to the table. Men are not disposable we need more men to stand up and be intentional and take responsibility.
Yea it's pretty common. I'm a single dad of 2 and I noticed this attitude in their mom as well before I started seeing it all over the place. There's this mentality of "I want to feel like a good mom" that seems to prevail over loving and prioritizing your children's needs. For example, I try everything I can to keep her included (after trying everything to keep the marriage stable) but she was ok with moving across the country, living next to a trap house and being financially destitute with the kids. I had to fight tooth and nail for custody despite all of the evidence of being raised very negligently. It seems like there is this desperate need for self-importance that trumps the sanctity of life.
Did she just ask what the importance of a father is other than financial??? A father is just as important as a mother. Guidance, discipline, love, how to be treated well by a man, respect, strength, etc... I wished father was in my life to teach me these things. Fathers are so important! ❤️
They also teach you how to have compassion, respect and understanding of men. Not just how to be treated well by one. You gotta treat them well, and if they are a real one they treat you well too.
I think it’s because there are many dads who don’t show how to be compassionate or kind or caring or loving. A lot of times these kind of dads only positive contribution is money. I grew up with both parents and many times I felt so alone and sad and unloved because they didn’t have time for us emotionally and financially my dad only wanted to do the bare minimum for us even though he had more than enough money to do more. I have forgiven them but I remember wishing he travelled more so he would be around less. The type of dad you have really matters, not just having a dad. A lot of men are not good dads, and it is so heartbreaking.
@@gazellehelene5380 but that’s missing the point. With out a doubt, there are bad parents out there. 100% not every dad is gonna be great, some may even do more harm than good. But that’s not the point, and not what this comment or video is about.
I lost my mother at a young age and had it not been for my father who had to raise 2 teenage girls my sister and I would have been for the streets.My dad is my world and males need to be respected and loved too. Love from SA🇿🇦.
Men are necessary for the creation of life, the Creator didn't make a mistake in the grand design. Modern woman have been told a lie and hopefully they will realize that it takes 2 to tango. Love and light🌺
Yo Aba is spitting right now! I have had this experience growing up without my father and how them talking negatively about each other has an affect on the child.
The older I get the more I realize just how fucking fortunate I was to not only have a father around, but have a father who took an interest in my life, encouraged me, loved me unconditionally & did his absolute best to provide a life that was better than his financially, mentally, & spiritually. He passed at 59 from kidney cancer on October 1st 2019 & I miss him more than words can describe. I see all these people who didn’t have a great father like I had and I feel an immense sense of gratitude for the role he played in my life, selfishly I still wish he was here, as I still have times where I need him. I wish I was able to give him the experience of being a grandfather, he would’ve been an even better grandfather than father if that’s at all possible. It would’ve made him so happy. I miss him so much somedays it literally hurts to breathe, and I have to remind myself how fortunate I was to have 34yrs with him. It’s hard to keep that perspective sometimes though. R.I.P. Dad, I love & miss you & will look out for mom to the best of my abilities.
Sorry for your lose Matthew, your father sounds like he was a top bloke, not only were you blessed to have him, he was blessed to have a son who knew and appreciated just how lucky he is, may he rest in peace! BTW- FUCK CANCER!!!
This is the most absurd shit I've seen all week. She is living, breathing proof that fathers are 100% necessary. Her very existence, how she thinks and views the world is all the proof she needs. She is literally oozing daddy issues and in need of serious therapy ASAP. Lord help this poor damaged soul.
I understand where she is coming from. she is a BLACK WOMAN. black women know they have limited options in men, and with the high amount of black men dating other races black women have less decent men to choose from. Black women want a family but they know its unlikely they are going find a good man, so they atleast want children, so they won't be alone and without kids. This phenomena is going to happen more because if black women don't have options, a man to marry and love them, WHAT should they do. Stay single and no kids? It so easy for outsiders to judge and talk about black women dating habits, but its not always about purposely choosing bad men, its about not having enough good men to choose from. She can want a good man but is she going to find one and meet one who actually dates black women.
R. I. P the child she is going raise He/she is going to grow up same like her with daddy issues and their mental health declining as soon as the kid hit puberty
Completely agree and here's another take on the position for wanting children without a partner. Which is some people have a distorted idea that by having children it will help substitute and mend the void of not being loved by their partner.
@@TardMania lol.. it's my position of perspective so anyone that disagrees is welcome to dialogue me amicably and possibly correct any bias I might have put fort. As for the fear of being lynched online I doubt anybodies condemnation can hold weight over me. (Nobody can make you feel inferior without your own consent)
@@jaybandanacabana I don't disagree with you, just pointing out that only one gender can talk about it. Also, one shouldn't underrestemate the lack of privacy in the future, everything you say online now will (if not already) be permanently attached to your identity. I persume that you know very well how they punish people for "problematic" jokes written 10 years ago, now imagine that same cenario in a China-esk survalance state with citizen points and the like. China is the new world power, and they will influence both USA and EU to move into the same direction they've done.
“Because now we’ve become such an individualistic society that the individual is more important than the collective, the family unit.” Do I really need to say anything? That is the most accurate description of modern day society I’ve ever fucking heard.
I'm sure part of it is because he's being pushy. As much as she needs a slap upside the head by the hand of truth, it rarely works that anyone listens to that. And the rest of it is probably that she's a strong wimman.
I am a single mother, I have a son and daughter. I can not be their father and I can't replace him nor do I try all I can do is be the best Mum I can be. He made the choice to not be a part of their lives, the door is open, it has been 8 years. My father was a wonderful man and he stepped in for my kids until he passed, my brother now makes the time to mentor my son. Fathers/ male role models are vital xx
bruh that's why you gotta have marriage between families like he ain't or the women not gone leave because well ur both tied to the families. some ppl just need that structre thats why we have been doing it for thousands of years
You situation is extremely important because while you are not trying to "replace" the father, you do have male role models in their lives, there will still be a dinamic of how to treat men and women, I find it messy that someone will use your situation and ignore all the work the male members of your family is doing to help you, just to enforce the propoganda that men aren't worth it. As much as I use to beef with my kid's mom, I could never tell her that her mom sucks, between the 2 of us we point out habits we have that we don't want her to learn and go from there but never completely dismiss the other
I thought like her for about a month. One conversation with my father changed that. She’s bitter. She doesn’t realize she’s hurting. Dads are necessary.
She is hurting that's the root of the problem it's possible she has many failed relationships as well other than the one she mentioned at the beginning of the video and decided what's the point.
And what’s sad is that the hurt these women feel will never be their fault because of their decisions (usually) but they will blame everyone but themselves. Very I unhealthy.
Oh man, yeah. I've got done strong feelings about this. My amazing mom threw my bio dad out when his until then unknown addictions put our lives in danger literally. Even though it was just the two of us until she married my wonderful step-dad (who was my dad from the get go), she surrounded me with not just her love and support, but a found family that included my grandpa. He was my father figure and a rock in my life. He loved me but was also the one that kept me in line even more so than my mom. I miss him so much! As a little kid, I literally prayed every night for a father and brothers and sisters. I craved family! Mom kept our home life stable when it was just the two of us. Our life was simple and she worked hard to keep a roof over our heads as a housekeeper. She never said anything negative about my bio dad and answered any questions I had. Now I have married to a kind, wonderful man for almost 8 years. We have one 2 year old and I'm 4 months pregnant with our second. He is a loving father and husband. The men in my life as a young girl taught me what a man should be and I knew I found a good thing when I met him. I know he'll continue to teach our little boy to be a good man in a way that I couldn't on my own, because I couldn't teach him by example. I can only imagine how difficult it would be as a boy and young man to be given these ideals of what a man should be, how that would be overwhelming without a daily example.
Fun fact: when I was sixteen I considered being a single mom when I was older. I really did. I was wholeheartedly into it. Then I remembered when I was 14, and I was home alone, and armed intruders entered the house to rob us. It was terrifying. Guess who I relied on nightly, who I NEEDED to hear snoring to feel even a little bit safe after that? Not my mom, my DAD. And I know this for a fact because my dad would sometimes go away on work trips and I'd barricade my door, even though we moved somewhere safer after the robbery. Shit's all fine and fanciful until you factor in what could happen in a worst case scenario! 👍
Damn, and you actually have a dad! Imagine you didn't, you wouldn't even have that memory to go by and bring you back to reality. Just goes to show how important dads are.
Growing up with a single mother I resented her so much for pushing my dad away and strait up lying about to make me feel some type of way. Now as an adult she is cut out of my life and my dad and I are so close.
Yea, but that's different from her situation. She's not pushing anyone away or lying. It sounds like you resented her not because she was a single mother, but rather because of her actions of pushing your father away. You resented her action, not her status. Know what I mean?
@LGMSPECIALIST bro if your dad was around, you'd have a much much higher chance of being that alpha male you talk about. It's a sad truth that boys raised by women tend to have much more feminine traits. I don't say this to insult you. I can def commiserate to a certain degree. I was raised by my mother until I forced her to let me live with my dad. but it's really fucked up that boys are forced to live with their mothers when the cost is so high to those boys. edit- I was not trying to insinuate that you have feminine traits. I don't know anything about you. No personal insult intended.
@@PoopScooper10000 yea there is a pretty big difference, but I don’t think as a child I would love the fact my mother purposely decided to make my life harder.
100% agree with you add mama never talk bad about him she does really let him show us how he was a so he abandoned us twice and kicked us out on Christmas so you know not father a year a not father at all really kids his terrible he doesn't even care to get to know his own creations which is just weird now being father to I can't wait to hear my kids voice to see what they want to see what their interested in I don't know how anyone could abandon their children
If you wanna raise a good man, or a daughter who grows up to be able to identify what a good man IS. Which is even important in terms of picking a donor....he/she needs a dad, period.
@James Smith okay you get married and your husband died..... she’s still a victim right even though she did all the right things? So HOW IS THAT A CRIME?
@@SamIAmB Lmaooo, you just referred to an entire gender as a Donor....The male hate is already ingrained in the society...But it's all good. Whatever gives anyone peace of mind
@@alienz1156 no I didnt....the woman in this video discusses a donor and even though she states she wants the dad to be involved on some level....a man she chooses in this manner is still a donor 🙄🤦🏼♀️ My father was very much involved with me, and continues to be with his grandchildren. My children's father....I drive a 9 hr round trip to assure that he is a major presence in their lives. Assume much??????
This discussion alone proves that men are vital to our society. Listening to these beautiful men trying to pour sense into this deluded woman gives me hope! I was fortunate enough to be raised by both parents and my Dad was my hero, I adored him. He was a safe haven from my Mom’s bad temper. I always felt safe because I knew that he could do things that Mom couldn’t. I cannot imagine how stressful life would have been to be raised by my Mom on her own. I love men! They continually amaze me and any woman who thinks the world would be better off without them should try building a bridge, fixing hydro power outages and clearing snow! Give your fuzzy head a shake! Having a child is not all about being able to afford one. A child needs their Dad’s love and energy just as much as Mom’s. My little granddaughters absolutely adore their Dad, and he would die for them. Life with both parents is as it should be, natural and balanced.
My question was "What if the kid she gave birth to turn out to be male... Will she be happy to see him go through that kind of life where he's told " you're not important". "
She wont, there are biological mechanisms to make her protect her son and care for him. (hopefully they work in her) What she cant do is make sure he developes right. She will think that her son wont need a father. And stupidly she thinks that her daughter doesnt need one either. Its unbelievably important to understand the opposite gender as a kid growing up.
@James Smith What are you talking about dude? Is this your interesting way of saying "ware=bad"? In sweden youll jump ranks if youre a good looking woman with half a brain cell. Cause theyll waste money on a female officer to look woke.
I was raised by a single mom. I remember the first time I realized I was different. It was in kindergarten when the teacher had us put a ring around a wooden pole. The bottom there was pieces of tape one said “have a father”, and the other said “don’t have a father”. I was the only one who picked the second. I was confused when some other kids ask “how come?” and I honestly had no clue a guy was even needed to create a baby at the time so when my teacher said that “I did have a dad” I was even more confused so I asked my mom the next day. She sounded uncomfortable so I left it. It’s sad that I still remember this day in detail for all the wrong reasons. Children need their parents.
I know something close, a guy who was raised by a single mother is living with one. The first thing little boy asked him: You are my father? -No i am not your father. This leaded to a small debate in my place, while i do standy by his honesty in saying truth, another person say he acted badly denying something the child desperately crave.
That is so horrible they ( teacher/school) did that to any kid, but kindergarden.....?!...what the hell kind of curriculum do they have? Sorry, you experienced that...BTW, also raised by single mom ,with my father always involved to his best through the years
@@pbonfanti I feel bad for the kid🥺 The mom's boyfriend at least should tell the boy that he's the stepfather, if a man lives with a single mom he's the stepfather for her kids and if he's doesn't want to get involved with her kids she shouldn't be him in the first place.
I had a friend who was raised by a single mom. He was a great guy, made friends wherever he went. He knew nothing of his father and it ate him up mentally and he was very overweight. He was the most cheerful guy ever but I remember one day he broke down crying saying “ My mom won’t even tell me dad’s name. I’ve asked for years.” I didn’t know what to say. Long story short, he later died from a rare form of cancer but I can still remember him telling me to me to always stay in my kid’s lives. At the time I thought it was weird because I was still a virgin when he said it but now that I have a family of my own, I remember those words clearly and will always do so.
Thats sad. Honor his memory with being the best dad, added fuel to the fire. That's foul of the mother to do that(any parent for that matter), he died not knowing him
@@QuietSnake-xs5vx it's probably not that. Most likely ignorance. Most people IMO are dumb so for me this is normal. Just because the information is widely available does not mean folks know how to find it or even think to seek it.
@@leftclot This should get you started: U.S. Department of Education (2001). National Center for Education Statistics. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. Washington DC. Hofferth, S. L. (2006). “Residential father family type and child well-being: investment versus selection”, Demography, 43: 53-78. Chau, K., Kabuth, B., & Chau, N. (2014). “Gender and family disparities in suicide attempt and role of socioeconomic, school, and health-related difficulties in early adolescence”, BioMed research international (2014): 314521. Osborne, C. & McLanahan, S. (2007). “Partnership instability and child well-being”, Journal of Marriage and Family, 69: 1065-1083. Tillman, K. H. (2007). “Family structure pathways and academic disadvantage among adolescents in stepfamilies”, Journal of Marriage and Family. Teachman, J. D. (2004). “The childhood living arrangements of children and the characteristics of their marriages”, Journal of Family Issues, 25(1), 86-111. Williamson, J. N. (2008). Being Fathered for a Divine Purpose. Xulon Press. Or if you just want to browse the tube, here's this: th-cam.com/video/sgAu1i6aChs/w-d-xo.html
This is so sad. I come from a broken home and I made the conscious decision/promise to make a good home for my children. The stability I never had. My son is 1 and his first word was 'dada/daddy'. He's obsessed with his father and I can't imagine purposely taking that from him. My husband puts his son on his shoulders and takes him to the store, that alone makes our sons whole day. Fathers are crucial and irreplaceable.
@@rrouges1 He also lights up when he hears his dads voice. He runs to the door when he hears the lock turning and can't contain his excitement. He Falls asleep on his father's chest often and shares his food with him by feeding him off his little chubby fingers. Fathers are irreplaceable.
I'm a mother of 3 and I will tell you, even with my husband and i being vigilant and catering to our children, we are still learning how to care for them. And the fact that she was laughing at most of your serious questions/statements, shows she hasn't thought this through enough.
@ Yes. Her mindset is very dangerous and damaging. All I heard was, "I want a baby because I want one." What would be refreshing to hear is, "I want a baby to love, to hold, to care for and show the meaning of life and how to grow into a responsible human being." Once you have that baby, there is no going back.
People want kids just because, most don't think deep about it. My friend says she wants to have kids and I don't yet I know more about pregnancies and babies than her, she never stoped to think not even once of what it's to have a child and what it demands beyond having financial stability
I have a sister who was an oops baby. It’s widely known across the family, and she doesn’t get the attention she deserves because nobody was prepared. My older sister is in college, I’m ab to go to college, my mom works almost all the time, and her dad is dead. I remember periods where my sister would literally only see my mom for maybe an hour or 2 a day, and I’d have to watch her wait for her mother to come home, only for her to go to sleep alone. I love them both to death, but sometimes I wonder why my mom even brought her into this world, if she knew she wasn’t prepared. I resent her for it sometimes
Not that you're obligated to saddle yourself with that kind of responsibility, but I hope when you're able that you are able to do what you can in your mom's stead. It's not fair to either you or your sister, but I do hope you're able to pick up your mom's slack sometimes. Something people with a lot of siblings find is that when their actual parents weren't 100% able to give them their undivided attention at all times that their older siblings played an important and valuable role in their lives, even if it obviously isn't quite the same.
...she didn’t think this one through. Not even a little. She’s self serving and inconsiderate to her potential child’s life and emotional well-being. Great job ma’am.
@Wonderland t And who do you think came up with the idea you don't need a father, who pushed the idea of the "proud independent woman who don't need n o man", that "women need a man like fish need a bicycle"? Who pushed for government welfare for single mothers?
I don't think that she is intentionally being self serving. She did not have a father figure when she was a little girl and she turned out just fine. So she figures that her child will also be fine without a father figure.
@@djwards472 In all honesty, it really is not about having just a mother and father in the household; rather, it is more about raising a child in a safe, stable, and compassionate environment. For example: a single father can raise his daughters to be successful, caring women- he just needs a little help from other women in the family. This also works vice versa. If you look deeper into the stats, they are all based on families from very poor socio economic backgrounds, which a lot of people like to ignore.
My papa was injured by a forklift while I was still an infant so aside from some workman’s compensation, he wasn’t the breadwinner for very long. So he was the stay at home dad, and I have so many amazing memories with him. I’m so grateful that my mom didn’t push him away because she was suddenly “dating down”. I needed both parents and they were both there for me, in non-traditional ways but still there.
It’s one thing to celebrate a single parent, like a single mom, that put hard effort in to raising her child on her own, but it’s totally different when someone intentionally puts themself in that position.
I don't agree, I don't think it should be celebrated either way. Instead of celebrating the parent who does the minimum requirement, we should scold the parent who decided to leave.
@@eightRedHerrings So a woman who gets left by the baby's father and a woman who intentionally raises a baby without a father should get the same applause? Are you nuts? How are those comparable?
@@derekketcher9154 I think they were replying to the other person, saying shame people for doing a bad job at parenting. So they were saying shame bad parents but also praise great parents. Which k agree with.
Don't celebrate anyone for being a parent. It's the expectation if you have a child. Maybe we should go back to "shaming" people for ruining children's lives. Married men that leave their family to start a new one with a younger woman, men that sleep with dozens of women, women that let guys they aren't married to go raw dog, women that choose single motherhood. Maybe it's time to wake up and realize bad decisions affect more than just one's self. And before you try this isn't saying a mom who was married whose husband up and left after she got pregnant, that kept the baby, and raised it the best she could is not a hero. This is saying women that let multiple guys have unprotected sex then had a baby without knowing the father should not also be considered a hero no matter if it was hard as well. One case, is making the best of a bad situation, the other is making the worst of a good situation.
@@derekketcher9154 but what should she do? it isn't that she doesn't wish for her child to have a father. it is just that she didn't find a partner to have a child with. so her clock is ticking and isn't waiting for anyone. so if she doesn't find the perfect partner but does have a wish for children should she let that wish unanswered just because the child won't have a father?
My mom raised me and my dad didn’t do much for me. I had to learn how to be a man and what good men looked like so heck yes I wish I had a dad who was actually involved. The women that were featured on here are entitled and of course it’s not all women but this level of idiocy is shocking.
Same. Man here 27 raised by a single mother. While true my dad was a deadbeat I think a step dad would've helped. It's hard to navigate life without the guidance a father provides.
I will never forget..I was a social worker and working with a woman who kept badmouthing her child’s father (her ex). Then i talked to him and had a shock- he was 100x more intelligent, well spoken, caring, aware and sensitive than the Mother. He understood his ex well and handled her slandering with grace, only focusing on his child’s welfare. It was a big wake up call.
People have a weird sense of entitlement about almost everything generally. There are also a lot of people who have gone the opposite way and only expect the bare minimum.
My mam had postnatal depression at my birth and hated me throughout my life. My Father did everything he could too make me feel wanted. I did not tell him the physical and mental abuse she did too me because I didn't want too put him in a bad situation
As a father I teach my son how to work through frustrations, emotions, being ok with failing and learning from it. I give him love, support, and validation. As a father I can relate to my son in a way that only a father can.
@@izzojunior mothers have to discipline too. Obviously, as father is not always there when behaviour happens and fathers also need to nurture and teach and be loving/nurturing.
When she said she was "researching and preparing" for being a single mother, what she meant was "I've been prowling the internet for forums and blog posts that trash on men and support the idea that women don't need men to raise a child. I sought confirmation and validation for my own selfishness."
Yup exactly cause when Aba asked is she’s seen the stars on children that grow up in singe parent households she goes “um no, but...” holy fuck I hope she never has kids
Well said. The stats are not difficult to find, and they clearly show the potential disadvantages and problems of being raised in a single-parent household.
Lol. Ig thay would fit too but from another stand point(and not because im obviously a female) is that she wanted to see if it was possible(which is as many single mothers have done so in the past) and the best ways to go by. For not only herself but her child as well. From the oustide looking in it may seem selfish but i dont think being selfish were her intentions.
As someone who had my parents split from the age of 6. When I got a girl I hooked up with pregnant and she wanted to keep it. I made sure we worked out our issues so that I can be there for my child. 16 years later we are still together and have 3 beautiful children. #BeResponsibleForTheLifeYouCreate
@James Smith You alright there buddy. I feel like you were making an anecdote but it didn't relate to the topic. Maybe there are deleted comments, maybe you need help. Either way have a good day.
Logic can’t be accessed when the pain is so abundant. This is so sad. A father is the first man a young girl will ever experience in her life. Having a strong, protective and loving dad, and seeing how he interacts as a husband to your mom is honestly the ideal and helps set a good precedent for future relationships/marriage.
I’m 24 and I’ve had a single mother my whole life . she doesn’t understand when I tell her that I’m still growing as a man, and looking towards male role models for help. Thankfully I liked soccer as a kid so I had many coaches to look up to unconsciously.
Same here bro and also soccer lol. I'm 26 now and only a year ago did my mom get married again. I don't feel like there's a father figure effect anymore since i'm a grown up man.
Missing a father is actually a huge issue, especially in black households and I only understood how it really affected me when I got older. The approval and validation of a male figure, role model, confidant, guidance, protector, just some of the things a father provides.
@Captain McDog My dad tried his best to be available for me when I was younger, but his job as a doctor really sucked his time away from me. How he tried to counter this was by having male father figures be there for me when he couldn’t. It wasn’t perfect, but it was definitely a sign that he cared, and he’s been trying to make his work take less of his time away little by little.
I was raised by just my mom. And even though I heard horrible things about him I still wish I knew who he was.. I always wanted to be daddys little girl... Mama did a great job raising my brother and I, but I know things would have been easier on all of us if my parents would have worked out. Had to come back to this video cause I'm a recent mother and even though I have hard times with my partner I want things to work so bad cause I don't want my son to miss out on what I had to.. He should have the love of both of us even if it doesn't work out I would never want that for him.. Breaks my heart some people think like this.. man and women are both very important no matter what..
The pain in her eyes when she says she didn’t have a dad and gives Hollywood movie examples and she’s willing to put a child through that. She doesn’t want a child she wants a dog.
I was raised by a single mother. I luckily had strong father figures who stepped in and filled that role the best they could. But every child deserves a father and mother.
Raised by a widowed mother, dad died of skin cancer when I was a year old. Never had any father figures or role models as a young boy, uncles/cousins/grandparents, nothing. Was definitely tough since I had(still having) to learn what a real man is, sometimes it still is. It’s rough being a child with no dad. Gotta learn things by trial and error, the hard way.
Man... not having my father damaged my ability to be a man - to be a dad - to survive in a world that requires certain values to be as successful or being in a position to fully reach my potential. Don't get me wrong - I love my mother. Despite me being a high earner - making it out of the projects - obtaining 3 degrees - not having my father teach me has put me at a huge disadvantage. It really sucks... what hurts even more is that we live in the same city and he was a teacher and a mentor at one of the top high schools in our state... man it hurts to know he was an influence in other kids lives except his own.
I appreciate Aba and Preach addressing this problem in this video. As a person that had to deal with their parents divorcing at a young age, this video really resonated with me. My mom drove the idea that my dad was a terrible person and he wouldn't be fit to be a father in general. I love my mom and I always will no matter what, but I can't forget or forgive her for the many lies that she said in the past about my father. I feel bad for anybody else that had to go through the same type of situation that I want through. I hope that people realize that a child needs both parents in their life or at the very least a mother figure and father figure. And if anybody's reading this, I'm sorry I made it so long.😂
I grew up with a single father. My mother passed from leukemia before I was even old enough to have memories of her. My father did an amazing job, but you still miss what you never had. Maybe if I was never exposed to the idea of mother/daughter relationships then I wouldn’t miss it. Her child will see children with their fathers and it will hurt. It will hurt every time, but they will usually learn to cope (healthy/unhealthy coping). I don’t understand willingly making this choice. I couldn’t imagine a world without my father. He molded so much of my life and the way I believe and think. This makes me sad.
My mom taught me to clean my room, Try love myself and my family. My dad taught me responsibilities and how to have courage in life. If I didn't have one or the other I'd be half the man I am today. Every family dynamic is different in teaching world views but we are only human, we are not perfect, two perspectives are better then one
My mother taught me all that both your parents taught you. My father taught me what a terrible human being is and how NOT to parent. I held those issues for years. Needed therapy. Talked to my dad about my issues and his part in it..I was grown. He told me to, "get over it". He said he did the best he knew how and I should feel lucky not to have his father. My grand parents were married until his dad died before I was born. Generational damage.
I just dont understand how you can say that you want to be a single mother when you grew up that way. I grew up without my father the biggest part of my life. and if i am honest, i missed out on a lot. I had to be mature on a realy early age, so i could help my mother taking care of everything, also babysitting my little sister when she was working almost 12 hours a day, just to provide us the basics. I saw how hard it was for her to put in 100% of herself everyday. I can say that i had everything that i needed, my mom provided for me and my sister in the best way possible. But still, i think i would have had an easier life if there was a father figure, not only for me, but also to support my mother, emotionally and financialy. Greetings from Belgium, keep up the good work guys!
This comment is so dumb. Raising kids and having a committed relationship require different skills. Also, some people are not interested in love, marriage or sex.
@@alayhaferron1972 That is a stupid comment. If you don't want your child to have a father or a second parent you are setting them.up for failure. Also raising kids and being committed don't take different skills. There is no skill involved. Also to say some people are not interested in love is absurd.
I am dealing with this right now. My son wants to know about his "father". I got pregnant by a sperm donor while dating a woman. The woman is nowhere to be found. She doesn't understand what being a parent is. Its more than just finances. She is looking at it from a cold overly logical stance. I wish, that I had done it another way. Today I have to deal with the men I date and hoping that it will somehow add up. As a mother of 15 years, I don't want to take having my son back, but I wish I had done it differently. I am sure he does to. He asks me about it sometimes.
Single parents are fine. Yea we survive. But having that other parent is crucial. Having a male and female influence is crucial even in same sex relationships. Anyone trying to ignore that is selfish.
How does a pinned comment have no replies yet? Guess I'm too early to read the "good" replies lol
What I say may sound cliche but here it goes.
Women shield their children from the world. Men (good men) prepare children for the world. The outside. How to deal with the real.
Broad generalisation.
There are exceptions. Fathers learn children to deal with the real world. While women want to keep the children as long as possible away from the worlds challenges.
It is a pattern. Some women can do the father role. But most cant do that.
How does this beautiful pinned comment barely got any comments more people need to see this
Thank you for speaking some truth... lots of selfish people out here lying to themselves...
In this day in age the terms are father and mother, maybe in the future they change, but the truth is there, 1 person cant raise a kid... we as humans have evolved so even more people other than the parents in tribes take action in the raising of the kids... hell even monkeys do this... infants need to be raised by these different personalities to do well in life, even if is a lesbian couple, one has to be more nurturing while the other need to be more blunt, one needs to be more assertive and the other more submissive... thats why there is the saying of "opposites attract each other". You may be more comfortable by raising a kid alone because your ideas won't clash nobody, but that leaves no room to evolution...
Take raising a kid as a tunnel with 2 walls, left (motherly) and right (fatherly), the kid is trying to go in a straight line, but it goes on a weird angle and clashes to one, seeks guidance and try to go on a straight line, but what if that wall has a bump, well the kid bounces again and goes to the other wall... guess what happens if there is not another wall...
“If a boy doesn’t have a father in the home, then he’ll find one in the streets.”
- Denzel Washington
💯
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👆
Brilliant quote and very true
It's true for girls too
“A child is NOT an accessory” Say this more please.
Agreed
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So many women have the kid for the sake of it ,it's vwry obvious, especially if their friends all have families etc and they have gotten old and doing ivf ...they had so long to find a partner
When they can be aborted on a whim and you don't need a father for them, of course, they're an accessory.
*Did her Lil ass REALLY Ask WHAT DOES A FATHER BRING TO THE TABLE OTHER THAN FINANCES!?!? Nah Slim! What!?*
She did 😳😳
All of this bullshit came from her mother. Bet that
Van is here!!! Man, I'm a huge fan of yours, and I didn't expect you to be a fan of Aba and Preach! ❤️
This is why men didn’t leave women to their own faculty back in the old times. I’m. Or saying it’s right but now I understand it
@@yankeeswin9531 let her mother out of this shit ! She can think by herself and make her choice which is stupid choice by the way
Also.... How can a person who says a man isn't important raise a boy that has self esteem?
Excellent point. This is saddening.
He doesn't need self esteem, he's not important. 😂
She's obviously dealing with some issues that stem from a lack of a relationship with her father. So in her mind she's going to save her child from the same experience.
They can't ppl raised by single parents aren't men they are all women.
Excellent point
“There’s a difference between Having a baby and being a Parent”
That’s such a strong message
facts
Straight fax
A lot modern women like this have babies and don’t make great parents. Yet the man would make a great father. The women think they matter more then the father just because the baby came out her vagina. Men don’t have donor kids because he wants a FAMILY and gives up his personal life, works hard to provide. Women can work hard but they still get supplemented by the father or government. The man does it on his own.
Not really, it’s pretty simple
Papaoutai
I grew up in foster care, 24 different homes with my brother and sister. I can still remember laying down in bed wishing I had parents. I have 4 kids now and they will never experience that loneliness.
I happy for you ☺
I know how you feel I had the same childhood in foster care
Single parent households are not the same as being in a foster home
God bless you
You're a champion!
Bruh, when she said "my mother made way more money than my father" 🤯 Children don't give a damn about that.
Right? My mom always has made more money than my Dad, and my Mom may have been the more dominant presence in my life as a kid...but my Dad was still there and I learned a lot from him, I learned how I should be treated by men and how I deserve to be respected by men(my Dad never spoiled me and I was never a daddy's girl). Having a male presence in any kid's life is sooo important.
Right
Comments like these give me hope.
@James Smith If they listen to the wrong Women/people, Yes. It's the Mentality of it, They could easily think they are better because they earn more, Just gotta be concious of the consequences.
My mother gave me everything but a father and I was one of the worst kids in my neighborhood. Money couldn't replace that.
I grew up in a two parent home. It’s my dads voice I hear the most when I have to make hard decisions. When I’m going through anything, I call my dad first. I stayed a state away and anytime I was in emotional duress, my dad would call and say “IDK why but I just felt like you’re not ok today. Are you ok?” Man that STILL baffles me as to how he could do that! My dad can read me better than my mom can. ANYTIME something is wrong and I’m putting on a fake smile for the world, my dad looks at me long and hard and asks “are you happy?” And can tell when I lie and say yes. I always say if there’s a such thing as having a twin heart, it would be my daddy. He’s getting older and I already mourn the day he leaves this Earth. I really don’t know what I’d do without my daddy. He really is my heart.
The role of a father is so incredibly important in children’s lives. It is a lie that kids don’t need a father. 🤦🏻
Its not a lie. Im raised with Only a single mother and its fine.
@@TastyQueen not the norm though.
@@TastyQueen probably got some daddy issues
@@TastyQueen I was raised by my single mom. But, saying that fathers are disposable is bullshit.
Thank you for your kind words. Your comment should be pinned
This whole conversation happened because she didn’t have a father figure. Had she had that experience, she would realize the invaluable gift of a father’s presence.
Exactly. It really is that simple
even without it, you understand the importance of it.
It started with her own mother, sadly
Not sure why here father wasn’t financially providing. Not sure why her mother would make the choice of creating a child with a man who couldn’t provide.
@@melrwill or her own a abscent father
The way she reduces the role of a father to money says so much about today’s society.
Says a lot about her tbh. She needs to heal from her trauma before even thinking about having children
And her as a parent...
That’s all a lot of people see us as it’s depressing
Its a result of her not having a father. She has a messed up view of relationships and probably will forever.
No it just says much about her Mother.
My father was very hands on, taught me values, skills, and emphasized family. In hindsight, he probably saved my life...he put me in football when I was 6 and kept me in it until I graduated and was off to college. He told me as an adult that he wasn't bout to have me running the streets with nothing to do. I was always in the gym, at practice, in school, or in game. Most of my friends I grew up with are dead and I'm only 25. Thanks dad for your foresight.
what happend to your friends?
@@botondnemesnagy5354 drugs, gangs, a few of them killed eachother then they'd get killed in retaliation. To the point where my childhood friend group is basically dead or in jail, but we went our separate ways as kids. I was in sorts so much I couldn't hang out with them anymore and I just gradually separated from the group
@@RyanMonkeyFace
Damn bro... that's rough...
Nah bro, your dad had hindsight. He saw the shit that happened around him and used the past to create a better future. His actions instilled foresight in you. Keep that foresight and wisdom strong homie
Bless your pops, give him a call and check up on him. That’s a beautiful story ❤
"I was raised by a single mom and she did her best but she still didn't do a good job".
I felt that 100% . Fathers play an incredibly important role to sons and daughters alike.
And yet you see society and women undermine and vilify them at every opportunity. When are women going to wake up and realize that at some point, which appears to be happening today, that men are not engaging women anymore....let alone marrying them. What are YOU doing to change this? Until the courts change, until women start appreciating men for more than the WAP they desire...our society is screwed.
More common than I imagined.
Im genuinely confused tho which issue are people having a problem with. Is it her mindset/ reasons for not wanting her child to have a father or just not having a father overall. Cuz in my opinion, I dont see the problem with getting a sperm donor and then raising the child. I mean its kinda up to the mom to find a partner, its not like you will just introduce a father into your child’s life just randomly. And then coming to her mindset, I agree what she is saying is definitely disrespectful and a bad way of thinking about men’s role in society and in a child-father/ family dynamic. But I just think she may have a reason for thinking this way, its not like one day she was gonna think of her father as a bank, and then hate other men. There is problem a reason she thinks that, which is contorting the way she thinks about her father’s significance in her life. And thats not up to us to decide on, I guess we can make all the assumptions we want, but we cant judge her until she explains her reasoning further. I just think ppl are upset because its not the way they think, and she’s generalizing it to all men. When I just like to think of it as her own opinion. Many women have gone through a similar experiencing of raising the child on their own at first because they just want to. So I dont see the issue in that. But I also understand ppl’s sentiments on the importance of a father, and how its very undervalued in todays time and treated unfairly even under the law. So I agree its quite a toxic mindset to have when raising a child, and teaching the child about the relationships in their life. But for whatever this women was saying, I guess we can agree to disagree.
No matter what her "reason" for thinking this way may be. It is wrong, and she needs to go to therapy to resolve her issues. Before bringing another life in this world and passing over her issues to them.
The single mothers that are good parents also never willingly single mothers.
My son is 15 months old and I am literally invisible when my husband is around. He is my husband's shadow, they are best friends and have an amazing bond. It's lovely to see. Children need both parents ideally.
I am a father of a 2 year old and a 4 month old daughter. When I'm at home my son does exactly what you said and I'm pretty sure my daughter will follow even stronger. My wife says that he misses me because I am naturally away for work during the day but I believe she is partly wrong because when I'm at home for many days he doesn't change his pattern. I believe that my son is all on me because of my masculinity, he is learning from me, he feels the genetic connection. Sometimes I feel bad for my wife, I would totally understand if she got jealous but fortunately she is not. Our priority is always the best for our kids not ourselves.
@@Giokosmik and let's face it, dads are a lot more fun than moms.
One thing you may find out though is little girls play different than little boys. I tried to play with my girls same as my boys, they wanted more role playing and less rough housing. It's all fun though.
Truth
♡
I come from a broken home, and I am glad too see you post this
My parents divorced when I was 3. When I reached my teens, I was heavily influenced by thug/street culture and my mom could no longer control me. Even though I didn't live with my Dad, he would pick us up and take us to his house, send us birthday gifts and kept in touch with us. I feared disappointing him. He never put his hands on me once in my life. He just spoke to me with wisdom and a masculine voice and that had more influence on me than 100,000 punishments and whoppings from my mom. When nothing she did worked, she would call my Dad
Salute to all the fathers out there ✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿
Absolutely. It's almost like "traditional gender roles" weren't completely baseless or something...
Sounds like you didn’t respect your mother’s authority even tho she was primary parent
@@bribro23 you are missing the whole point, people who grow up with a dad that’s shit affects the there is a reason why 80% of prisoners in jail come from a single mom household, 70% of youth suicide come from single mother homes, 90% of the people on the street come from single mother homes, that doesn’t mean they all didn’t respect or love their moms, or that their mom didn’t try their best, but whether you like the thought of it or not, a child needs both parents, trust me I was on of those, and there is millions of others, the numbers are scary and disturbing but they don’t lie
@@bribro23 A kid without a father figure at home will find a father figure in the streets,- Denzel Washington, it’s true, a kid from single parent household is the biggest detriment to the black community, and most communities in general, there a 1000s of books, psychology studies that go in depth about this and it’s not good. Good luck to you and your child if you have this mindset. I wish all the best to you and your future or current children
"Transparency is not a blanket forgiveness check." That was a dope quote Aba.
These guys are so intellectual and have such great points while being hilarious at the same time!
💯💯
It sounds like she still hasn’t dealt with the trauma of growing up without her father, to the point that she denies being hurt because she didnt “miss out or anything”. Sister, it doesn’t make you weak or bad to be hurt as a child for dealing with neglect. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want that to happen to her and her child so she’s just skipping the man from the beginning. Basically self sabotage. I wish healing and love to all 💕
Whole heartedly agree with this, and I hear it too. I feel for her.
Perfectly put
Preach
Ye 100% agree , it's the only reason why she would think this way. Like all the other shit beside, TWO IS BETTER THEN ONE. That's how basic this arguement needs to be honestly.
Amen!
I can think of lots:
1. Discipline
2. Tough love
3. A male perspective
4. A role model for a son
5. A guardian for a daughter
And most importantly
6. Dad jokes 🥰
Dad jokes 💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿
They also play more with the kids 🤣🤣
And that's only the stereotypical things. One thing i would add is logical thinking, what i would focus on a lot myself.
@@quanzy121 i dont play more with my kids :/ not yet, im busy af to get a job that pays decently. I would say that part depends, but i also think its important that kids are required to know how to entertain themself without the dependency of having a clown around them. Honestly. Balance is important.. A single entity in the household can barely bring balance to the table... unless he stands in the middle of it no matter what, im aware of that
@@laurisaarinen1126 words
From just a psychological perspective good self esteem in girls comes from the father figure in early development . Not to mention learning relationship skills just by observing the parents interacting with each other .
As a man raised by a single mom who was amazing and worked her ass off to provide and did everything she could and always went above and beyond to be there for me, there were things that as a young man I need a father for. Even though my mom and I had a very open relationship and I felt relatively comfortable telling or talking with her about almost anything there were things about becoming a man that would have been much better being taught to me by a dad. It’s easier for a woman who was raised by a single woman because she has gone through the same things at one point her life and understands what the daughter is going through. A young man trying to be taught or have things explained to them by someone who really doesn’t know what it’s like does them a huge disservice. Just like when my daughter starts dealing with boys and her period or sex mom is the one she will turn to and rightfully so I have no idea what having a period feels like or any of the changes she is going through. This is true for young boys and the best way for young men to learn to take responsibility for their own children is by having a father who took care of them and showed them the right way. With both parents working together the child and society both become so much better off.
My dad died before I was born. My daughters love their dad so much. I’m so glad they have him in the home every day. DadS do a lot more than just provide income.
Exactly
emotional support and guidance from dads are so undervalued these days
A loving parent is a wonderful thing.
it's like some people don't understand that dads are loving parents too.
And if the parents are together, and they're loving to both themselves and their child, then that's a damn good template for that child for a future relationship and a future child that they might have.
As a kid who had two parents in the home and a majority of my friends did not, the idea that someone would WILLING CHOSE to be a single parent, mother or father, is just completely insane.
So many females like this out here
Agreed!
I can tell you straight, the only reason I'm ok right now and not on the streets like 95% of my friends in school was my dad told me don't go out, stay in class. She has no idea what she'll do to her kids.
_Child abuse_ is more like it.
@@blueshanks1 I doubt it, I think the majority of people are sane enough to not think like this
I want to be a mother but if I never marry I wouldn’t have kids. I grew up with an amazing father and I wouldn’t want my kids to grow up without that. People need to realize that the child’s well being is more important than their longing to be a parent.
Plus being a family means team work not work alone.
@@mysticstrikeforce5957 also knowing that my kids are safe when we are all together.the bogeyman wouldnt try coming into my house,hed be leaving in carrier bags
Yes
I can’t believe she actually believes that she would bring a child with a friend Sperm rather than a donor .. having a child for her is more like playing house. She is not realistic. She had the audacity to say then that a father is not essential cuz her mom did it. She is having major daddy issues. This is why her priorities are f***up. Fill in a need. #Fosterachild. So many children need parent figure.
Absolutely!!!!! People arent really thinking that their raising little people....and what that means. Kids know nothing and literally every single think you do matters and you never know what will imprint on them.
Too many people think that parenting is about having a happy and healthy relationship and being financially stable. Lots of these people NEVER consider that the child is a person with emotions that never asked to be born and raised. You have to acknowledge that when you are having a child, you are raising a person with emotions, feelings, thoughts, ideas, they are not a copy paste slate of one or both of you.
I became a single father because my wife passed when my daughter was 2. I would never wish single parenthood on anyone. My daughter is 4 now and she tries to attach herself to almost every woman she comes into contact with. She's looking for a mother figure, looking for someone to imitate, to relate too. And the fact that I can only do so much in that regard is stressful and saddening by itself. Let alone the financial, and day to day obligations of just being a parent; it's not something to be taken lightly AT ALL. Because what if something happens to me as well? How will that effect her? Who will she have to lean on? When gets older, who will be the person to help guide her through womanhood? I can and will do my best, but there always be those gaps in her development that daddy can't fill...
It's so hard, the stress of wondering that someday you might not be enough for her, how will you teach her lady things, the fear of failing to provide a home and food.
Don't worry, you will be amazing because you will never stop caring for her!
Sorry for your loss, i wish both you and your daughter the best. People are just ignorant and think they can fit into everyone's shoes that's the society we live in today
I am glad you are doing the best you can and REALLY trying for your daughter. The fact that you are paying attention to her needs on this level is amazing. Good luck to you both!
You're very right I feel you
You're doing a great job! Dont ever doubt yourself. Everything will work out for the both of you. Sending you lots of love and strenght!!
She’s trying to play this whole strong, hero, brave single mother trope, when in reality she’s self-righteous and unnecessarily putting her future children at a disadvantage to stroke her own ego.
PREACH
dude spitting 🗣
Dead on.
Exactly, her selfish ignorant venture is all on the child's tab, basically at that child's expense.... If this situation was a meal, dinner would be on the child
Not all, but a lot of women think this way
My father passed away when I was 8 years old. He was my best friend and my hero. I miss him every day. I’m 38...
my neighbours, its a 4 girl house hold, mom and 4 daughters. dad booked it. and they got it all down pat. operationally the household works. for heavy things, they hire.
but she said in confidence that, she struggles. male attention, how to interact in a mixed environment, dating. when i asked why she thinks she struggles so much ( i thought a hardcore feminist answer would come about oppressive and harassing patriarchy (not saying shed be wrong depending on he experiences) she said. "you know, it seems he didnt want me".
she is 33. she wanted for nothing in her life, on a technical level, except for male presence in her life. i didnt think it a irl truth (dont believe everything you see on tv), but she accepted pretty rough treatment from men, thinking "hurt and leave you", is what men do. and it had left scares and pain. i think she wont be at peace till she finds A wholesome male presence.
Sorry for that loss of your father at such a young age 💗
@Ben O. Verbich Amen
Rest in peace ❤️
My dad passed when I was 9....
Having a father present is very important as long as he's a good role model and sets a good example. Having bad role models of either gender is an enormous problem.
She doesn't know what a father brings because she doesn't have a relationship with hers. Anyone who grew up with an involved father...they know. Fathers are important
Nah, my dad was never with me since I was born, and I know for a fact fathers are important because I never had one in my life, people just grow up deciding to be dumb
Agreed
One of the many things my old man thought me before he passed away is that the world will always throw shit at you, so stand your ground and focus on yourself.
@@elysian179 I dont think thats necessarily true. Some kids grow up to be dumb because their parents are dumb, kids are like sponges, they pick up on parents mannerisms like nothing, be it negative or positive mannerisms.
But yeah both parents need to be involved and loving in a kids life for the kid to have the highest chance of being the best possible him or herself.
My dad was present but inactive either way I know active fathers are important. My friend's Dad gave amazing advice and was so supportive of their kids. I knew immediately that I was missing out on a lot. My dad had a terrible childhood that he still hasn't received therapy for so he gave the best he could wish was money. I wish more people would handle their demons before procreating to prevent passing down the trauma.
I'm 61 years old and I am so grateful that my father was in my life. My dad set the spiritual and emotional tone of the household. He provided wisdom and guidance. I am not knocking anyone who did not have their dad in their life but when you have a dad that is invested in the child's development it is certainly beneficial.
Women think emotionally, men think logically. When you have too many single moms raising kids, we end up with narcissistic behavior due to these kids being taught their feelings matter above all else rather than learning the hard truths and parts of life that shape and mold is into who we are.
@James Smith or at least the fault of government policy which, given feminisms push for EQUITY in recent years, is no surprise. It’s gotten to the point I’m tempted to bring lawsuits against the government for those clearly sexist misandrist policies they love to push down our throats.
@James Smith interesting take... Any articles or sources I can read more on this?
@Silver & Cold men raised by single moms are more emotional than men raised by both parents, men raised by single dads are even less emotional. There IS a balance.
1st Take:
"My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."
Yours sincerely,
Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook
2nd Take:
“My music is always going to make a woman feel like a bad bitch. When you make a woman feel like she’s the baddest bitch in the room, to me, that’s female empowerment.”
Decently yours,
Cardi B.
My Humble Take:
What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way.
*The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi
*The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar
*The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell
*The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis
*Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe
*Men on Strike* by Helen Smith
*Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous
.
She asked what else a father brings besides money because she genuinely is clueless to what a father could bring to the table. She hasn't had that loving experience. My dad died when I was in 1st grade and I still greatly cherish my time spent with him. People don't know because they haven't had the chance to know.
Absolutely, how do you explain the connection of a daughter to a father of you never had one? I know my relationship to my father is different to my mothers and the things he provides me is different to my mother and I don’t think I could quite articulate that to someone outside my family
or they’re trying to push an agenda because they’re mad they’re broke/dirt poor
James Smith wtf are you going on about??
I don’t think that’s an excuse to deny that to your child though
It's hard to know what you don't know.
You guys are so right: fathers are just as important as mothers. I couldn't imagine growing up without my dad. He has shown me more affection than my mom. My dad was my hero when I was growing up. Even my husband has a lot of values and beliefs very similar to my dad's. He's a lot like my dad and they also get along very well, and that is a huge blessing.
My respects to Aba and Preach on this one. As a married dad, I can tell you that I see the effects on my daughter and my special needs son when I'm home and when I'm not home due to work requirements. I can say that I'm happily married but it's no cakewalk. My wife and I bump heads more than we have "lovely times". But in the end, we both understand that those kids of ours need us in our primary roles: Mother and Father. Each role having its particular strengths and weaknesses. We complement those roles as best as we can for the benefit of our kids. Bringing a child into this world is not some cool trick that you can just do and forget about it when you get tired of it.
Aba your hot take is spot on. Don't worry about who gets butthurt over it. These women are out of their ever-loving minds if they are WILLINGLY okay with putting a child in a fatherless situation. Glad I got lucky and punched out of the game when I did. I could not see myself taking any of these women seriously if I was single. This needs to get out to every single man out there. Do not put yourself in a situation where you have to deal with this nonsense.
My question these days is why people want kids so early... Maybe it's because of the country I'm in but I see alot of teen moms
No one takes them seriously. They are seen as merely pump and dumps by most men. Good men wouldn't touch her with a stick. Bad men will never want to stay with her to begin with.
Still gotta say...when u fight that much u should maybe better split bc the kids feels when u can’t stand each other
@@dirtydead4144 Many people in western society are only concerned with getting their check marks done and eating their cake as well. It's the culture. It's not a bad thing for women to have kids young (health reasons for the child) but it is if they're not mature yet and at the rate we've been going with neo-women empowerment crap, finding young AND poised women is akin to finding needles in haystacks. You're always better off going after women who grew up in two parents households were both parents love AND respect each other. Because even two family homes were parents are emotionally or physically abusive to each other are worse than single parent homes with a poised parent.
@@Foatizenknechtl definitely better to stay together even when they’re fighting. My parents used to fight all the time and came quite close to getting a divorce, but they stayed together for my sisters and I. Watching them argue endlessly and yet deciding to stay together has been a more powerful lesson in setting differences aside for the greater good than anything else I can think of
My mom left when I was 5 and I've always struggled with a deep sense of worthlessness and left wondering if it was something I did or didn't do. A child needs their parents. BOTH of them.
That being said,
The research suggests not-having a father is actually far more damaging than the other way around.
Western Society has it bass-ackwards.
I feel you .... people don't talk about the psychological damage of being abandoned as a child....
I guess often they think because they were abandoned in young years that there isn't a big impact on the psyche.
My parents moved to Europe 2 years ahead of us.
Some months ago my aunt told me how I (as a 6 year old) blamed myself, asking if my parents left me because I was a bad child... that I was so sad that I spent weeks at my cousin's house to deal with the sadness. Even today when I loose contact with anyone, I blame myself thinking it's something that I have done.
A lot of children in my family/old neighborhood had to deal with one or both parents going overseas and leaving them behind. Even though most of them have a normal relationship with their parents.....there is still a lot of recentment...even if the parents did it with good intentions
@@redpilljesus I concur, when my mother left my sister and myself with my father and ran off with her new man, we struggled at first, but were able to quickly regain our composure in life due to the stability and guidance provided by my father. No, he is not father of the year, yes is a drunk who argues a lot, but his presence is extremely important, and the proof is in the pudding, my 25 year old sister is a traditionally good girl, doesn't party or go out or get drunk or do basic 2021 girl things, has a stable job and a stable relationship with one man. I've started 3 businesses so far, one of which is self sufficient and the other two are almost there as well, we're doing pretty alright.
I have a lot of friends who were in the same situation, but the mother ended up with custody, and I hate to talk badly about my friends, but they aren't doing as well as we are, some of them have far stronger educational backgrounds, much better familial connections, their families are much wealthier, and are still unable to put it all together. There is something to be said for the emotional stability a father provides, well that and him going to the ends of the earth to make us happy, my sister is 25 and still doesn't have a license because my dad is her personal chauffeur lol
@@chickenpotpie4045 have you had any contact with your mother recently and if so, how’s your relationship with her?
@@redpilljesus I've heard that the most important relationship is the same sex one: so if you're a girl, then your mum's the most integral, and if you're a boy then your dad is.
My son is 7 years old. So far Ive taught him how to defend himself against bullies, I taught him how to read , I taught him how to brush his teeth, I taught him how to have confidence in himself and I am currently working on instilling within him the proper characteristics that he will need to overcome the obstacles he will face in life. This is sad .....
Deep down she is suppressing her hurt and so is her mom i try to ignore people like this they
Thanks for doing you’re part, and dedication like this is how we prepare the youth to take on society
Facts, i taught both my girls to read, to write, to swim etc their momma taught them alot of ither stuff but a dads role is absolutely key. I wish my dad had been there for me. I had to use his absence as an example of how NOT to be.
...because you're the expert.
@@kreekevol3739 neither gender is perfect, far from it. However there is an unsettlingly large movement intent on completely devaluing men as parents.
“I’ve already done my own research”
Translation: I’m only googling certain topics that I approve of.
I really do hope that Aba talked some sense to her after this interview and that she rethinks her entire situation.
"How much does it cost to raise a child in USA""
"Yahoo questions: Can I raise a child as a single mother? Random answer: Yes, totally :)!"
"How much does a diaper cost?"
"How often should I breastfeed?"
@@Relhio I've seen some dumb Yahoo answers, or Quora. Not really a reliable source of information.
My husband plays such a HUGE role in raising our children. I couldn't imagine their lives without a father.
I wish I had my father in my life like your child has his/hers
I only have a father, and he had to raise 5 kids alone
So true. My husband gives our children so much more than money all though he provides that for us too.
I was your 69th like
That’s what he should do lol
I resent my mother for the way she raised me to believe that my father was a terrible person. I only really began to know him after I graduated high school, and he's the greatest person in my life now. Feels like I was robbed of a childhood
From a father that has an ex that does the same thing, your dad missed the joy of being a dad to a little kid. That is the best part about being a dad.
@@majorchungus you’re not wrong brother I’m about to have a son and the mother to my daughter is currently doing this and I can’t help but picture her resenting her mother when she grows up
💯
Happens alot man smh
th-cam.com/video/Mc7ED1tMdLM/w-d-xo.html
I feel sorry if she has a son. They especially need a father role in their life. She’s naive to think a boy doesn’t need a father...
I feel for any child she may have. 🤦🏾♀️
Girls will have it worse. The daughters of single moms are prey for men who want to use them for sex.
Not true, children (son or daughter) need two parents, regardless of their gender. Look it up, it’s very well researched.
Look at the numbers and available research on how bad girls suffer under growing up without a dad, the outcome is staggering and it is all just ignored.
@@NotoriousN_I_G_
Imagine making a men’s issues women's🤦🤦♂️🤦♀️
Golden nuggests right here. Loved this. It's not just that a child needs both parents but the child needs them to be happy and content with their lives. I grew up in a family where my parents fought all thet time. Talked down to each other all the time. I grew up very mentally unstable because of that. They were ao lost in their own drama that they didn't pay attention to what I needed. I was unstable till my 30s began and I actually started focusing on calming myself down and focus on what I need. I am still figuring it out and I am hoping to find a life partner who is right for me and I hope I am right for him too. Pray for me. Love from India.
Sending love 💕
@@Napptrully_Beautiful 💕
My father died when my mom was pregnant with me, I would never wish anyone to grow up without a father. This affects kids so much more than we think. If you can help it please give your children a chance to have both parents around!
Wow, so sorry for ur loss at such an early (pre any age in ur life).😔😔 I agree, Fathers are so important in a child's life. Both parents. I lost my Mom in Valentines Day when I was 1. I'm in my 30's now and to this day, I miss my Mother. Both Fathers and Mothers are ingrained in our hearts and regardless if we werent around them growing up to get to know them, we yearn for the connection and big hole their absence leaves in our lives.
That's YOU. Just Like her. I never felt like I was missing anything. You can only speak for yourself as every child without a father doesn't feel that way.
@@SourStrawberrys so isn't it better to have both parents to prevent that , rather than hoping that the child is okay ?
I grew up fatherless and never missed him. It probably affected me, but whatever man. anything can affect a kid
@@SourStrawberrys Theres a reason why this is mostly a fact. I understand youre looking into the exceptions right now, and not the rule. I grew up without a father too, and i dont really feel like I missed anything either. But MOST people will not process this the way we do
My dad was a bit of a selfish sociopath, maybe he passed that down to me. Gee thanks father😁
Seems like she was masking her selfishness with idealism. "I can do it by myself. I'm different."
Yeah, aight.
She wants an accessory. Not a life long responsibility of being a mentor to a human you created.
I think she might be looking for applause for being a "strong black single mother"
th-cam.com/video/Mc7ED1tMdLM/w-d-xo.html
👆👆
leftism/woke bro this just the start. the begining of a whole new chapter. yes for me but not for thee
“Transparency is not a blanket for forgiveness”
YUP. Love that quote
Bless this quote
Transparency is not a a substitute for responsibility.
I know I'm a little late on this one, however i still want to give my input on this topic. I started studying psychology and I'm going through therapy. Funny thing is that mother is a caregiver, while a father is the most important figure in terms of your social development and development of your values. I had to become my own man, actually still not fully one. Sounds great. In reality it's a real pain. Especially if you don't find other father figure, you're going to have to go through a lot of experiences just to learn things and get perspectives on life in a time, where your peers got those thing many years prior to you. I know that even when I finally mature, I'm STILL going to lack on many crucial things. Let's call it stagnation of development due to absence of father figure.
So PLEASE, let's aknowledge that fathers play a REALLY important role in child's development.
Mothers just take care of ppl? They dont instill values or nothing?
@@bribro23 they still do, it's just that they play a different role in the child's early mental development
@@janekserafin7292 so I did a lot of just research here and there, I won't say intensive because it's not like I was nose deep in scientific articles, though I did read bits and pieces of articles. Having two parents is ideal, why? It's because that's just how society is. People forget that it's not always about mental health or those things, but often times it's a very simple reason; most people have this but I do not. That's really all it can take sometimes to make someone go crazy.
I don't like to go to deep into "Father figure" and "mother figure" because let's be real in China (where I lived for years), many people have two parents but their fathers are almost non-existent. That's starting to change these days however people went through that are still going through that by the thousands and many are doing just fine even though their father is barely there to instil teachings into them. So the idea of needing the father to teach certain things, that is not always necessary for everyone, however it is ideal to have. Since obviously people that have two parents even if one of them are barely there, still feel often better compared to those with only one parent in the house. That's because they "feel" normal.
Again its not so much because of we need father figures or mother figures to make sure the child grows up well. However, we need to recognize that in this world people like to feel normal and not the odd ones out. Having two parents (mother and father ) will definitely be the ideal starting condition you can give a child.
So what I say to people that want to raise a child alone... Make sure you understand what is reality and what is fantasy; that's number 1. Next is realize you will have play both mother and father, which will be extremely mentally and physically exhausting since you will have to set an example depending on whether you have a daughter or son. Another thing, if you in the long run decide to introduce a mother or father to the child, do realize it's not as simple as adding the last piece of the puzzle. You have to really make sure the person is right for your child which will already have certain understandings or behaviors probably by that point.
Lastly, you will 100% need to have 99% of your attention on your child and be aware of everything that goes at school, because fatherless or motherless parents are often bullied because kids are mean!!!
My 8 year old boy lost his mom last year, and I constantly think about him not having motherly love and the feminine influence in his life. My sister fills a little of that void, his grandmother his nieces, but still I can't stop thinking about that. He's doing great by the way. Thanks Abba and preach, this one really hit home.
my condolance on your lose
but my respect on your views!
the advice i can give you as the fourth and youngest boy from a sigle parent family.
be his dad and only his dad because thats what you are his only father dont let him lose that to.
because you cant be both. my mom tried to full the void but eveantualy she couldnt be both so she became neither.
keep the the woman of the family close and let them be the women they are for him.
Sorry for your loss and I’m glad your son has multiple feminine figures
Μy condolance
I'm a 22 year old female that lost her mother at a young age. It was hard at times, but ultimately me and my dad made it and so will you!!
Keep you head up
Dude I'm in the same boat your in its so hard as a single father to try to fill that role keep your head up brother that kid will appreciate what you do love is love happiness is happiness
"A CHILD IS NOT AN ACCESSORY." I could not have said it better!
Or a toy.
I'm a fatherless daughter (he abandoned our family). My Mama struggled. I also have 2 adult children from 2 different men as a result of countless irresponsible and fantastical decisions. I still feel the effects to this day. She's delusional af imo.🤦🏾♀️🤯🥺
I honestly think she's hurting and hasn't processed that. She sees relationships with men as merely transactional
Sorry that happens to u
When I was young I went over to a sleep over at my friends house, and I saw the father son relationship my friend had. I was so mad, jealous and felt like I had been cheated out of something. I would hold that feeling of something is missing till this day, no one can answer my questions about manhood, and what to do when this happens to you as a man. Ask a woman they don’t get it because they have never experienced it and never will.
Deatbeat mothers wanting accessories not the life long commitment that requires sacrifice. Children are not something stunt on people with.
th-cam.com/video/Mc7ED1tMdLM/w-d-xo.html
@@houseofhas9355 facts. This is a whole human life
I don’t know about y’all but I basically heard, “I’m going to irresponsibly take on a new responsibility that will severely impact the people that I bring into this world. I am also prepared to brag to everyone how I did it by myself even though there could’ve been a better way of doing it if I was more open minded”
This is why I'm 32 and don't have children. It's not because I don't want any but I realize who you have a child with really matters short and long term.
I second that; hence why I'm 30 with none and don't regret it.
Most Foreign poor women make better wives and mothers .
@@kieraholmes3828 I'd be lying if I say I don't think about it. However I realized there in has to be alignment. It's one thing is you're a little uneven it's another when it's dead weight.
35 here and I'm on the same boat
@@brandonf.8360 The world needs more people with this mindset. People just have kids just to have them, not taking into consideration the long term effects. Very well said.
She’s 27 and thinks she knows everything a father could’ve brought he to the table. I’m in my mid 30s and am STILL realizing the things I missed out on by not growing up with a father. She thinks she knows, but she still has a lot to learn.
That's YOU though. No everyone shares your experience. She clearly doesnt miss what she never had.
@@TomikaKelly The problem is, how can she know what she missed to even miss it? She doesn’t even know the things she missed out on, and now she’s robbing her potential children of it too. That’s hella selfish.
@@TomikaKelly ???
@@TomikaKelly It's also the reason she's a complete narcissist.
Same! I used to think a man wasn't needed and I realized I was so wrong
It's not just two incomes that make children of two-parent households better off, statistically on average. It's having two reliable, nurturing people around.
Life is hard, and no man is an island, as they say.
I tell people children need money but they also need s lot of time. If it's two of you, all else being equal, you have twice the amount of time.
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Indeed all the work on the child like getting up at night changing diapers and all the other stuff.
Yeah but it doesn’t have to be a dad. It can be a grandmother or a teacher.
when was a father a nurturer
Don’t get discouraged, there’s a lot of us that still crave a traditional household, who understands the critical roles moms and dads bring to the table. Men are not disposable we need more men to stand up and be intentional and take responsibility.
Yo the fact that she's like I'm prepared to make child's life difficult from the offset because of my own selfishness is wild.
Yea it's pretty common. I'm a single dad of 2 and I noticed this attitude in their mom as well before I started seeing it all over the place. There's this mentality of "I want to feel like a good mom" that seems to prevail over loving and prioritizing your children's needs. For example, I try everything I can to keep her included (after trying everything to keep the marriage stable) but she was ok with moving across the country, living next to a trap house and being financially destitute with the kids. I had to fight tooth and nail for custody despite all of the evidence of being raised very negligently. It seems like there is this desperate need for self-importance that trumps the sanctity of life.
this
@@b00g3rs21 hahaha ive won my case too. Congrats you are a hero
Psychopathic
So crazy? I cant believe there are women like this
Did she just ask what the importance of a father is other than financial??? A father is just as important as a mother. Guidance, discipline, love, how to be treated well by a man, respect, strength, etc... I wished father was in my life to teach me these things. Fathers are so important! ❤️
They also teach you how to have compassion, respect and understanding of men. Not just how to be treated well by one. You gotta treat them well, and if they are a real one they treat you well too.
The father is the leader the provider the guy that inspires you to be your best and knows many struggles and protect you
@@analysis9479 Exactly right!
I think it’s because there are many dads who don’t show how to be compassionate or kind or caring or loving. A lot of times these kind of dads only positive contribution is money. I grew up with both parents and many times I felt so alone and sad and unloved because they didn’t have time for us emotionally and financially my dad only wanted to do the bare minimum for us even though he had more than enough money to do more. I have forgiven them but I remember wishing he travelled more so he would be around less. The type of dad you have really matters, not just having a dad. A lot of men are not good dads, and it is so heartbreaking.
@@gazellehelene5380 but that’s missing the point. With out a doubt, there are bad parents out there. 100% not every dad is gonna be great, some may even do more harm than good. But that’s not the point, and not what this comment or video is about.
I lost my mother at a young age and had it not been for my father who had to raise 2 teenage girls my sister and I would have been for the streets.My dad is my world and males need to be respected and loved too. Love from SA🇿🇦.
🙏🏽🙏🏽❤
We need sisters like you spreading the word 🇿🇦
Men are necessary for the creation of life, the Creator didn't make a mistake in the grand design. Modern woman have been told a lie and hopefully they will realize that it takes 2 to tango. Love and light🌺
Thank you my sister ❤️
Yesssss thank you
Yo Aba is spitting right now! I have had this experience growing up without my father and how them talking negatively about each other has an affect on the child.
The older I get the more I realize just how fucking fortunate I was to not only have a father around, but have a father who took an interest in my life, encouraged me, loved me unconditionally & did his absolute best to provide a life that was better than his financially, mentally, & spiritually.
He passed at 59 from kidney cancer on October 1st 2019 & I miss him more than words can describe.
I see all these people who didn’t have a great father like I had and I feel an immense sense of gratitude for the role he played in my life, selfishly I still wish he was here, as I still have times where I need him. I wish I was able to give him the experience of being a grandfather, he would’ve been an even better grandfather than father if that’s at all possible.
It would’ve made him so happy.
I miss him so much somedays it literally hurts to breathe, and I have to remind myself how fortunate I was to have 34yrs with him.
It’s hard to keep that perspective sometimes though.
R.I.P. Dad, I love & miss you & will look out for mom to the best of my abilities.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved father in January 2014.
Sorry for your lose Matthew, your father sounds like he was a top bloke, not only were you blessed to have him, he was blessed to have a son who knew and appreciated just how lucky he is, may he rest in peace!
BTW- FUCK CANCER!!!
Your father raised a good son 💯
Thanks for sharing, it's encouraging that it's possible to be a great Dad.
This is the most absurd shit I've seen all week.
She is living, breathing proof that fathers are 100% necessary. Her very existence, how she thinks and views the world is all the proof she needs. She is literally oozing daddy issues and in need of serious therapy ASAP.
Lord help this poor damaged soul.
I couldn't have said it better!!!!🎯🎯🎯
Hey, Martial!
@Grace Kayvee your father being deceased is entirely different, and I think you know that.
I understand where she is coming from. she is a BLACK WOMAN. black women know they have limited options in men, and with the high amount of black men dating other races black women have less decent men to choose from. Black women want a family but they know its unlikely they are going find a good man, so they atleast want children, so they won't be alone and without kids. This phenomena is going to happen more because if black women don't have options, a man to marry and love them, WHAT should they do. Stay single and no kids? It so easy for outsiders to judge and talk about black women dating habits, but its not always about purposely choosing bad men, its about not having enough good men to choose from. She can want a good man but is she going to find one and meet one who actually dates black women.
R. I. P the child she is going raise
He/she is going to grow up same like her with daddy issues and their mental health declining as soon as the kid hit puberty
“A child is not a accessory”
Thank you, Aba. Been telling ppl for a long time if you don’t really really wanna have kids, don’t
Completely agree and here's another take on the position for wanting children without a partner. Which is some people have a distorted idea that by having children it will help substitute and mend the void of not being loved by their partner.
I hope you're not a male saying that, cus you might get lynched for it :/
It all comes back to priority. If they aren't one, selfishness is. They also aren't just something to satisfy your emotions or give you a boost.
@@TardMania lol.. it's my position of perspective so anyone that disagrees is welcome to dialogue me amicably and possibly correct any bias I might have put fort.
As for the fear of being lynched online I doubt anybodies condemnation can hold weight over me. (Nobody can make you feel inferior without your own consent)
@@jaybandanacabana I don't disagree with you, just pointing out that only one gender can talk about it. Also, one shouldn't underrestemate the lack of privacy in the future, everything you say online now will (if not already) be permanently attached to your identity. I persume that you know very well how they punish people for "problematic" jokes written 10 years ago, now imagine that same cenario in a China-esk survalance state with citizen points and the like. China is the new world power, and they will influence both USA and EU to move into the same direction they've done.
“Because now we’ve become such an individualistic society that the individual is more important than the collective, the family unit.” Do I really need to say anything? That is the most accurate description of modern day society I’ve ever fucking heard.
She’s rolling her eyes because she just wanted to hear “you go girl, your a strong wamen”
You're *
Nice King crimson
I'm sure part of it is because he's being pushy. As much as she needs a slap upside the head by the hand of truth, it rarely works that anyone listens to that. And the rest of it is probably that she's a strong wimman.
That was kinda mean, but 😂
They want their ears tickled.
I am a single mother, I have a son and daughter. I can not be their father and I can't replace him nor do I try all I can do is be the best Mum I can be. He made the choice to not be a part of their lives, the door is open, it has been 8 years. My father was a wonderful man and he stepped in for my kids until he passed, my brother now makes the time to mentor my son. Fathers/ male role models are vital xx
bruh that's why you gotta have marriage between families like he ain't or the women not gone leave because well ur both tied to the families. some ppl just need that structre thats why we have been doing it for thousands of years
@@goer3148 He didn't want the child in the first place or he leaved later for other reasons?
@@Stef3m In my situation he chose alcohol - he was no longer safe in the house
You situation is extremely important because while you are not trying to "replace" the father, you do have male role models in their lives, there will still be a dinamic of how to treat men and women,
I find it messy that someone will use your situation and ignore all the work the male members of your family is doing to help you, just to enforce the propoganda that men aren't worth it.
As much as I use to beef with my kid's mom, I could never tell her that her mom sucks, between the 2 of us we point out habits we have that we don't want her to learn and go from there but never completely dismiss the other
You failed your children.
I thought like her for about a month. One conversation with my father changed that. She’s bitter. She doesn’t realize she’s hurting. Dads are necessary.
She is hurting that's the root of the problem it's possible she has many failed relationships as well other than the one she mentioned at the beginning of the video and decided what's the point.
And society is making being a single parent look glamorous too...
EXACTLY. She’s lashing out and being selfish to prove a point to herself but it will negatively impact her child.
Thank you for bringing that up. I wish I could like your comment more than once
And what’s sad is that the hurt these women feel will never be their fault because of their decisions (usually) but they will blame everyone but themselves. Very I unhealthy.
Oh man, yeah. I've got done strong feelings about this. My amazing mom threw my bio dad out when his until then unknown addictions put our lives in danger literally. Even though it was just the two of us until she married my wonderful step-dad (who was my dad from the get go), she surrounded me with not just her love and support, but a found family that included my grandpa. He was my father figure and a rock in my life. He loved me but was also the one that kept me in line even more so than my mom. I miss him so much! As a little kid, I literally prayed every night for a father and brothers and sisters. I craved family! Mom kept our home life stable when it was just the two of us. Our life was simple and she worked hard to keep a roof over our heads as a housekeeper. She never said anything negative about my bio dad and answered any questions I had. Now I have married to a kind, wonderful man for almost 8 years. We have one 2 year old and I'm 4 months pregnant with our second. He is a loving father and husband. The men in my life as a young girl taught me what a man should be and I knew I found a good thing when I met him. I know he'll continue to teach our little boy to be a good man in a way that I couldn't on my own, because I couldn't teach him by example. I can only imagine how difficult it would be as a boy and young man to be given these ideals of what a man should be, how that would be overwhelming without a daily example.
Fun fact: when I was sixteen I considered being a single mom when I was older. I really did. I was wholeheartedly into it.
Then I remembered when I was 14, and I was home alone, and armed intruders entered the house to rob us. It was terrifying. Guess who I relied on nightly, who I NEEDED to hear snoring to feel even a little bit safe after that? Not my mom, my DAD. And I know this for a fact because my dad would sometimes go away on work trips and I'd barricade my door, even though we moved somewhere safer after the robbery.
Shit's all fine and fanciful until you factor in what could happen in a worst case scenario! 👍
Society is safer than its ever been so people don’t see the danger
Damn, and you actually have a dad! Imagine you didn't, you wouldn't even have that memory to go by and bring you back to reality. Just goes to show how important dads are.
Growing up with a single mother I resented her so much for pushing my dad away and strait up lying about to make me feel some type of way. Now as an adult she is cut out of my life and my dad and I are so close.
Yea, but that's different from her situation. She's not pushing anyone away or lying.
It sounds like you resented her not because she was a single mother, but rather because of her actions of pushing your father away. You resented her action, not her status. Know what I mean?
She definitely wanted you to hate your own dad.
@LGMSPECIALIST bro if your dad was around, you'd have a much much higher chance of being that alpha male you talk about. It's a sad truth that boys raised by women tend to have much more feminine traits. I don't say this to insult you. I can def commiserate to a certain degree. I was raised by my mother until I forced her to let me live with my dad. but it's really fucked up that boys are forced to live with their mothers when the cost is so high to those boys.
edit- I was not trying to insinuate that you have feminine traits. I don't know anything about you. No personal insult intended.
@@PoopScooper10000 yea there is a pretty big difference, but I don’t think as a child I would love the fact my mother purposely decided to make my life harder.
Toxic Femininity but people don’t like talking about that.. glad to hear you and your father can finally have a relationship 🙏🏼
Most important episode ever. The world needs dads-good dads.
100% agree with you add mama never talk bad about him she does really let him show us how he was a so he abandoned us twice and kicked us out on Christmas so you know not father a year a not father at all really kids his terrible he doesn't even care to get to know his own creations which is just weird now being father to I can't wait to hear my kids voice to see what they want to see what their interested in I don't know how anyone could abandon their children
If you wanna raise a good man, or a daughter who grows up to be able to identify what a good man IS. Which is even important in terms of picking a donor....he/she needs a dad, period.
@James Smith okay you get married and your husband died..... she’s still a victim right even though she did all the right things?
So HOW IS THAT A CRIME?
@@SamIAmB Lmaooo, you just referred to an entire gender as a Donor....The male hate is already ingrained in the society...But it's all good. Whatever gives anyone peace of mind
@@alienz1156 no I didnt....the woman in this video discusses a donor and even though she states she wants the dad to be involved on some level....a man she chooses in this manner is still a donor 🙄🤦🏼♀️
My father was very much involved with me, and continues to be with his grandchildren. My children's father....I drive a 9 hr round trip to assure that he is a major presence in their lives.
Assume much??????
This discussion alone proves that men are vital to our society. Listening to these beautiful men trying to pour sense into this deluded woman gives me hope! I was fortunate enough to be raised by both parents and my Dad was my hero, I adored him. He was a safe haven from my Mom’s bad temper. I always felt safe because I knew that he could do things that Mom couldn’t. I cannot imagine how stressful life would have been to be raised by my Mom on her own. I love men! They continually amaze me and any woman who thinks the world would be better off without them should try building a bridge, fixing hydro power outages and clearing snow! Give your fuzzy head a shake!
Having a child is not all about being able to afford one. A child needs their Dad’s love and energy just as much as Mom’s. My little granddaughters absolutely adore their Dad, and he would die for them. Life with both parents is as it should be, natural and balanced.
My question was "What if the kid she gave birth to turn out to be male... Will she be happy to see him go through that kind of life where he's told " you're not important". "
She wont, there are biological mechanisms to make her protect her son and care for him. (hopefully they work in her)
What she cant do is make sure he developes right. She will think that her son wont need a father. And stupidly she thinks that her daughter doesnt need one either. Its unbelievably important to understand the opposite gender as a kid growing up.
All her son can possibly amount to is a source of finances
Because she will teach him that without even knowing.
@James Smith What are you talking about dude? Is this your interesting way of saying "ware=bad"?
In sweden youll jump ranks if youre a good looking woman with half a brain cell. Cause theyll waste money on a female officer to look woke.
I was raised by a single mom. I remember the first time I realized I was different. It was in kindergarten when the teacher had us put a ring around a wooden pole. The bottom there was pieces of tape one said “have a father”, and the other said “don’t have a father”. I was the only one who picked the second. I was confused when some other kids ask “how come?” and I honestly had no clue a guy was even needed to create a baby at the time so when my teacher said that “I did have a dad” I was even more confused so I asked my mom the next day. She sounded uncomfortable so I left it. It’s sad that I still remember this day in detail for all the wrong reasons.
Children need their parents.
I know something close, a guy who was raised by a single mother is living with one. The first thing little boy asked him: You are my father?
-No i am not your father.
This leaded to a small debate in my place, while i do standy by his honesty in saying truth, another person say he acted badly denying something the child desperately crave.
That is so horrible they ( teacher/school) did that to any kid, but kindergarden.....?!...what the hell kind of curriculum do they have? Sorry, you experienced that...BTW, also raised by single mom ,with my father always involved to his best through the years
@@pbonfanti I feel bad for the kid🥺 The mom's boyfriend at least should tell the boy that he's the stepfather, if a man lives with a single mom he's the stepfather for her kids and if he's doesn't want to get involved with her kids she shouldn't be him in the first place.
I had a friend who was raised by a single mom. He was a great guy, made friends wherever he went. He knew nothing of his father and it ate him up mentally and he was very overweight. He was the most cheerful guy ever but I remember one day he broke down crying saying “ My mom won’t even tell me dad’s name. I’ve asked for years.” I didn’t know what to say. Long story short, he later died from a rare form of cancer but I can still remember him telling me to me to always stay in my kid’s lives. At the time I thought it was weird because I was still a virgin when he said it but now that I have a family of my own, I remember those words clearly and will always do so.
Thats sad. Honor his memory with being the best dad, added fuel to the fire. That's foul of the mother to do that(any parent for that matter), he died not knowing him
Awwee! That's so sad!!
That powerful bro thanks for sharing
Mommas baby daddy’s maybe
R.i.p your boy man.I hope he is at peace finally wherever is after this.
Alot of women don't get it.
I can't watch your content often. The topics hit me pretty hard but I love the effort and honesty you out into your work. Thanks for it all guys.
Man, the amount of literature available about single parents and fatherlessness is so abundant and she has no idea. It just breaks my heart.
She just chooses to ignore it
@@QuietSnake-xs5vx it's probably not that. Most likely ignorance. Most people IMO are dumb so for me this is normal. Just because the information is widely available does not mean folks know how to find it or even think to seek it.
Any good titles or links to some? I'm curious
@@leftclot This should get you started:
U.S. Department of Education (2001). National Center for Education Statistics. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. Washington DC.
Hofferth, S. L. (2006). “Residential father family type and child well-being: investment versus selection”, Demography, 43: 53-78.
Chau, K., Kabuth, B., & Chau, N. (2014). “Gender and family disparities in suicide attempt and role of socioeconomic, school, and health-related difficulties in early adolescence”, BioMed research international (2014): 314521.
Osborne, C. & McLanahan, S. (2007). “Partnership instability and child well-being”, Journal of Marriage and Family, 69: 1065-1083.
Tillman, K. H. (2007). “Family structure pathways and academic disadvantage among adolescents in stepfamilies”, Journal of Marriage and Family.
Teachman, J. D. (2004). “The childhood living arrangements of children and the characteristics of their marriages”, Journal of Family Issues, 25(1), 86-111.
Williamson, J. N. (2008). Being Fathered for a Divine Purpose. Xulon Press.
Or if you just want to browse the tube, here's this: th-cam.com/video/sgAu1i6aChs/w-d-xo.html
@@thelionprince4530 ignorance can and is bliss. ie: see The Matrix
This is so sad. I come from a broken home and I made the conscious decision/promise to make a good home for my children. The stability I never had. My son is 1 and his first word was 'dada/daddy'. He's obsessed with his father and I can't imagine purposely taking that from him. My husband puts his son on his shoulders and takes him to the store, that alone makes our sons whole day. Fathers are crucial and irreplaceable.
dada/daddy was his first word cause it's easiest to pronounce
@@rrouges1 He also lights up when he hears his dads voice. He runs to the door when he hears the lock turning and can't contain his excitement. He Falls asleep on his father's chest often and shares his food with him by feeding him off his little chubby fingers. Fathers are irreplaceable.
@@rrouges1 And yet mine was "icesh" because I had heard others talking about ice cream and wanted some as well. At least that is what my parent's say.
Your a great person I hope your life is full and happy.
@@fenrir6002 no it wasn't, your first word was in the line of dada, tata, kaka, baba, papa
it's dictated by biomechanics
I'm a mother of 3 and I will tell you, even with my husband and i being vigilant and catering to our children, we are still learning how to care for them. And the fact that she was laughing at most of your serious questions/statements, shows she hasn't thought this through enough.
She sounds like a narcissist
@ Yes. Her mindset is very dangerous and damaging. All I heard was, "I want a baby because I want one." What would be refreshing to hear is, "I want a baby to love, to hold, to care for and show the meaning of life and how to grow into a responsible human being." Once you have that baby, there is no going back.
@@Blackbimbx as well as robbing them of a fulfilling childhood. I’m so triggered by this...
@@Blackbimbx her mindsett or is it the woke/leftism mindsett ?
People want kids just because, most don't think deep about it.
My friend says she wants to have kids and I don't yet I know more about pregnancies and babies than her, she never stoped to think not even once of what it's to have a child and what it demands beyond having financial stability
I have a sister who was an oops baby. It’s widely known across the family, and she doesn’t get the attention she deserves because nobody was prepared. My older sister is in college, I’m ab to go to college, my mom works almost all the time, and her dad is dead. I remember periods where my sister would literally only see my mom for maybe an hour or 2 a day, and I’d have to watch her wait for her mother to come home, only for her to go to sleep alone. I love them both to death, but sometimes I wonder why my mom even brought her into this world, if she knew she wasn’t prepared. I resent her for it sometimes
Not that you're obligated to saddle yourself with that kind of responsibility, but I hope when you're able that you are able to do what you can in your mom's stead. It's not fair to either you or your sister, but I do hope you're able to pick up your mom's slack sometimes. Something people with a lot of siblings find is that when their actual parents weren't 100% able to give them their undivided attention at all times that their older siblings played an important and valuable role in their lives, even if it obviously isn't quite the same.
...she didn’t think this one through. Not even a little. She’s self serving and inconsiderate to her potential child’s life and emotional well-being. Great job ma’am.
Welcome to what feminism made.
@Wonderland t And who do you think came up with the idea you don't need a father, who pushed the idea of the "proud independent woman who don't need n o man", that "women need a man like fish need a bicycle"? Who pushed for government welfare for single mothers?
I don't think that she is intentionally being self serving. She did not have a father figure when she was a little girl and she turned out just fine. So she figures that her child will also be fine without a father figure.
@@yakzivz1104 “turned out just fine” so she says and also has an unhealthy way of looking at a child’s future
@@djwards472 In all honesty, it really is not about having just a mother and father in the household; rather, it is more about raising a child in a safe, stable, and compassionate environment. For example: a single father can raise his daughters to be successful, caring women- he just needs a little help from other women in the family. This also works vice versa. If you look deeper into the stats, they are all based on families from very poor socio economic backgrounds, which a lot of people like to ignore.
My papa was injured by a forklift while I was still an infant so aside from some workman’s compensation, he wasn’t the breadwinner for very long. So he was the stay at home dad, and I have so many amazing memories with him. I’m so grateful that my mom didn’t push him away because she was suddenly “dating down”. I needed both parents and they were both there for me, in non-traditional ways but still there.
I'm like your dad, thank you for sharing this story. I'm grateful I get to spend time with my son.
Papa Bless 🙏
Shout out to your mom for not losing respect for your dad & pushing him away. Sounds like he was a great dad to you.
It’s one thing to celebrate a single parent, like a single mom, that put hard effort in to raising her child on her own, but it’s totally different when someone intentionally puts themself in that position.
I don't agree, I don't think it should be celebrated either way. Instead of celebrating the parent who does the minimum requirement, we should scold the parent who decided to leave.
@@eightRedHerrings So a woman who gets left by the baby's father and a woman who intentionally raises a baby without a father should get the same applause? Are you nuts? How are those comparable?
@@derekketcher9154 I think they were replying to the other person, saying shame people for doing a bad job at parenting. So they were saying shame bad parents but also praise great parents. Which k agree with.
Don't celebrate anyone for being a parent. It's the expectation if you have a child. Maybe we should go back to "shaming" people for ruining children's lives. Married men that leave their family to start a new one with a younger woman, men that sleep with dozens of women, women that let guys they aren't married to go raw dog, women that choose single motherhood. Maybe it's time to wake up and realize bad decisions affect more than just one's self. And before you try this isn't saying a mom who was married whose husband up and left after she got pregnant, that kept the baby, and raised it the best she could is not a hero. This is saying women that let multiple guys have unprotected sex then had a baby without knowing the father should not also be considered a hero no matter if it was hard as well. One case, is making the best of a bad situation, the other is making the worst of a good situation.
@@derekketcher9154 but what should she do?
it isn't that she doesn't wish for her child to have a father. it is just that she didn't find a partner to have a child with.
so her clock is ticking and isn't waiting for anyone. so if she doesn't find the perfect partner but does have a wish for children should she let that wish unanswered just because the child won't have a father?
"transparency isn't a blanket forgiveness check" fucking BARS 🔥🔥
Man, this woman’s child is going to drop a whole EP about she messed up its life from the beginning
either that or end of the 6 oclock news for getting shot by a cop for robbin the local liqour store
Hmm reminds me of someone *cough* Eminem *cough*. You should listen to "The Apple" by Eminem, it was an unreleased song.
This comment
@@SeanKula Bro, this man whooped his mom on that track 🤣
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Resentful child of a single-parent checking in. Not having a father cast a long shadow over probably 30 years of my life.
My mom raised me and my dad didn’t do much for me. I had to learn how to be a man and what good men looked like so heck yes I wish I had a dad who was actually involved. The women that were featured on here are entitled and of course it’s not all women but this level of idiocy is shocking.
Facts. I was so mentally messed up that I just noticed it about 6 year ago, smh
Same. Man here 27 raised by a single mother. While true my dad was a deadbeat I think a step dad would've helped. It's hard to navigate life without the guidance a father provides.
Are you male?
@@SoulTouchMusic93 ur weak
I will never forget..I was a social worker and working with a woman who kept badmouthing her child’s father (her ex). Then i talked to him and had a shock- he was 100x more intelligent, well spoken, caring, aware and sensitive than the Mother. He understood his ex well and handled her slandering with grace, only focusing on his child’s welfare. It was a big wake up call.
People have a weird sense of entitlement about almost everything generally. There are also a lot of people who have gone the opposite way and only expect the bare minimum.
I think that situation is more common than people realize.
My mam had postnatal depression at my birth and hated me throughout my life.
My Father did everything he could too make me feel wanted.
I did not tell him the physical and mental abuse she did too me because I didn't want too put him in a bad situation
As a father I teach my son how to work through frustrations, emotions, being ok with failing and learning from it. I give him love, support, and validation. As a father I can relate to my son in a way that only a father can.
Boom 💥 , father discipline - mom nurture and both have their role
And it needs NEEDS to come from a father because women don't process things the same way we do.
Mass Effect - Shepard's Story: Do you teach these things to your daughters? Because these are all skills that females need and have as mothers too.
@@izzojunior mothers have to discipline too. Obviously, as father is not always there when behaviour happens and fathers also need to nurture and teach and be loving/nurturing.
You are a model father bro, God Bless you and your son 💪🏼💯
When she said she was "researching and preparing" for being a single mother, what she meant was "I've been prowling the internet for forums and blog posts that trash on men and support the idea that women don't need men to raise a child. I sought confirmation and validation for my own selfishness."
A.MEN.
PREACH!
Yup exactly cause when Aba asked is she’s seen the stars on children that grow up in singe parent households she goes “um no, but...” holy fuck I hope she never has kids
Well said. The stats are not difficult to find, and they clearly show the potential disadvantages and problems of being raised in a single-parent household.
Lol. Ig thay would fit too but from another stand point(and not because im obviously a female) is that she wanted to see if it was possible(which is as many single mothers have done so in the past) and the best ways to go by. For not only herself but her child as well. From the oustide looking in it may seem selfish but i dont think being selfish were her intentions.
As someone who had my parents split from the age of 6. When I got a girl I hooked up with pregnant and she wanted to keep it. I made sure we worked out our issues so that I can be there for my child. 16 years later we are still together and have 3 beautiful children. #BeResponsibleForTheLifeYouCreate
Are you married? Thats the best way
@@Kameraspie Just common law man and wife (Relationship of 10+ years). Not officially married.
@James Smith I think you are in the wrong place for that kind of joke
@James Smith that’s not even funny what you tryna say
@James Smith You alright there buddy. I feel like you were making an anecdote but it didn't relate to the topic. Maybe there are deleted comments, maybe you need help. Either way have a good day.
Logic can’t be accessed when the pain is so abundant. This is so sad. A father is the first man a young girl will ever experience in her life. Having a strong, protective and loving dad, and seeing how he interacts as a husband to your mom is honestly the ideal and helps set a good precedent for future relationships/marriage.
I’m 24 and I’ve had a single mother my whole life . she doesn’t understand when I tell her that I’m still growing as a man, and looking towards male role models for help. Thankfully I liked soccer as a kid so I had many coaches to look up to unconsciously.
Same here bro and also soccer lol. I'm 26 now and only a year ago did my mom get married again. I don't feel like there's a father figure effect anymore since i'm a grown up man.
This is the comment that the women need to read! Thank you for sharing
It's hard to learn from the opposite sex how to be a proper man/woman.
Bro I'm 23.
And I feel fcked up because I want to tell my family I'm still learning how to be a boy BUT IM 23.
Missing a father is actually a huge issue, especially in black households and I only understood how it really affected me when I got older. The approval and validation of a male figure, role model, confidant, guidance, protector, just some of the things a father provides.
@Captain McDog
My dad tried his best to be available for me when I was younger, but his job as a doctor really sucked his time away from me. How he tried to counter this was by having male father figures be there for me when he couldn’t. It wasn’t perfect, but it was definitely a sign that he cared, and he’s been trying to make his work take less of his time away little by little.
@wert vbn
That’s just racist, dude. Not even the funny kind that everyone laughs about.
@wert vbn my dad didn't. Don't project your experiences on everyone else.
African American households* not black households
@@giddwhy the distinction?
I leaned back I was not expecting to see aba and preach in two different screens
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Goodbye for now, floors
Wow technology its absolutely mindblowing huh...
@@angellt2264 stop spamming, you inconsiderate numbnut.
@@Pugtail I'm not amazed of it I was just surprised since I'm used to the usual set up so this was different
I was raised by just my mom. And even though I heard horrible things about him I still wish I knew who he was.. I always wanted to be daddys little girl...
Mama did a great job raising my brother and I, but I know things would have been easier on all of us if my parents would have worked out.
Had to come back to this video cause I'm a recent mother and even though I have hard times with my partner I want things to work so bad cause I don't want my son to miss out on what I had to..
He should have the love of both of us even if it doesn't work out I would never want that for him..
Breaks my heart some people think like this.. man and women are both very important no matter what..
The pain in her eyes when she says she didn’t have a dad and gives Hollywood movie examples and she’s willing to put a child through that. She doesn’t want a child she wants a dog.
Get her a puppy. Save everyone alot of pain and suffering.
@@houseofhas9355 her ass doesnt even need a dog she needs help
I was raised by a single mother. I luckily had strong father figures who stepped in and filled that role the best they could. But every child deserves a father and mother.
I was raised by a single Mother too and I couldn't agree more! 💯
To rob a child of an important thing based on something so superficial is beyond selfish
Raised by a widowed mother, dad died of skin cancer when I was a year old. Never had any father figures or role models as a young boy, uncles/cousins/grandparents, nothing. Was definitely tough since I had(still having) to learn what a real man is, sometimes it still is. It’s rough being a child with no dad. Gotta learn things by trial and error, the hard way.
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I didn’t realize how much I really needed a father growing up, until I became one.
Man... not having my father damaged my ability to be a man - to be a dad - to survive in a world that requires certain values to be as successful or being in a position to fully reach my potential.
Don't get me wrong - I love my mother. Despite me being a high earner - making it out of the projects - obtaining 3 degrees - not having my father teach me has put me at a huge disadvantage.
It really sucks... what hurts even more is that we live in the same city and he was a teacher and a mentor at one of the top high schools in our state... man it hurts to know he was an influence in other kids lives except his own.
and blessing to you and hopefully we can both be the fathers we didn't have.
I appreciate Aba and Preach addressing this problem in this video. As a person that had to deal with their parents divorcing at a young age, this video really resonated with me. My mom drove the idea that my dad was a terrible person and he wouldn't be fit to be a father in general. I love my mom and I always will no matter what, but I can't forget or forgive her for the many lies that she said in the past about my father. I feel bad for anybody else that had to go through the same type of situation that I want through. I hope that people realize that a child needs both parents in their life or at the very least a mother figure and father figure.
And if anybody's reading this, I'm sorry I made it so long.😂
I grew up with a single father. My mother passed from leukemia before I was even old enough to have memories of her. My father did an amazing job, but you still miss what you never had. Maybe if I was never exposed to the idea of mother/daughter relationships then I wouldn’t miss it.
Her child will see children with their fathers and it will hurt. It will hurt every time, but they will usually learn to cope (healthy/unhealthy coping). I don’t understand willingly making this choice. I couldn’t imagine a world without my father. He molded so much of my life and the way I believe and think.
This makes me sad.
My mom taught me to clean my room, Try love myself and my family. My dad taught me responsibilities and how to have courage in life. If I didn't have one or the other I'd be half the man I am today. Every family dynamic is different in teaching world views but we are only human, we are not perfect, two perspectives are better then one
My mother taught me all that both your parents taught you. My father taught me what a terrible human being is and how NOT to parent. I held those issues for years. Needed therapy. Talked to my dad about my issues and his part in it..I was grown. He told me to, "get over it". He said he did the best he knew how and I should feel lucky not to have his father. My grand parents were married until his dad died before I was born. Generational damage.
I just dont understand how you can say that you want to be a single mother when you grew up that way. I grew up without my father the biggest part of my life. and if i am honest, i missed out on a lot. I had to be mature on a realy early age, so i could help my mother taking care of everything, also babysitting my little sister when she was working almost 12 hours a day, just to provide us the basics. I saw how hard it was for her to put in 100% of herself everyday. I can say that i had everything that i needed, my mom provided for me and my sister in the best way possible. But still, i think i would have had an easier life if there was a father figure, not only for me, but also to support my mother, emotionally and financialy.
Greetings from Belgium, keep up the good work guys!
If you are not mature enough to be in a committed loving relationship, you are not mature enough to have a child.
Yes, yes YES!
I can 100% agree to that statement, but I feel that mature is a bit too vague of a statement
Period!!!
This comment is so dumb. Raising kids and having a committed relationship require different skills. Also, some people are not interested in love, marriage or sex.
@@alayhaferron1972 That is a stupid comment. If you don't want your child to have a father or a second parent you are setting them.up for failure. Also raising kids and being committed don't take different skills. There is no skill involved. Also to say some people are not interested in love is absurd.