A coping mechanism as many people have a subconscious desire to be accepted and loved by their parents and others. Neglect sounds less than Abuse, as many associate Abuse with active violence or emotional manipulation.
They should've done the paternity test in the first place and the mother shouldn't cheat as well. I don't blame Op for going NC with her parents and her brother. 2nd: It's a good thing that Op called the wedding off. Anything that involves with a toxic MIL or whatever is a major red flag. However his friends threatening Op is a childish move. Honestly, I don't get what's so special about taking the spouse's last name? 3rd story: fat shaming a child, a literal child who is still growing, is a low blow. No matter if it's a joke or whatever. That person who says those things deserves not have to anyone around them. I know it's harsh but I hate it when people fat shame anyone.
I’d just tell the neglectful parents: “whatever I am is how you raised me, what you made me into. And why? Because your wife couldn’t keep her legs closed around your brother and you weren’t strong enough of a man to toss her into the streets where she belonged? (Laughing) and you STILL see your brother after he screwed your wife. (Said as a statement, not a question). So I got treated like trash because YOU TWO are? Hard pass on reconciliation. No thank you, I’m better off with complete strangers than my own family members. Strangers are the safer bet.” Because when I burn my bridges with people-I make it so they NEVER want to come back for any reason. When someone shows me who they really are, I believe them the first time. You don’t ever get a second chance to break my heart.
1st story. Sooo, it's okay to resent and mistreat an innocent kid, that did nothing wrong, but we can completely forgive and act normal with the cheating wife? Make it make sense.. M
0:28 I’m so tired of people who say that, “They didn’t abuse me, but I was pretty neglected” hate to break it to a lot of people, but neglect _is_ abuse and it’s sad people don’t think so; there are also many types of neglect, there’s medical neglect, nutritional neglect, emotional neglect, educational neglect, physical neglect, and lack of supervision and guidance. I think most parents, depending on the kind of neglect (like physical), can maybe get a pass if they’re broke, that’s up to the kid and the law tho, not me. However those who intentionally neglect children, and those who unintentionally neglect them because they’re “too busy,” “don’t have time,” or “forgot,” definitely have no reason or excuse. Much less these parents as it seems they did it intentionally for the mere reason that they didn’t like OP because they _thought_ she was an affair baby.
@@vaseline69 it’s sad, and also kind of funny in a twisted sense as some abuse can be considered torture, and anyone with a brain and knows anyone with severe anxiety, ptsd, anyone who has a few years of being in the military under their belt, or even just anyone who works out, should that psychological torture can be much more damaging and have much longer side effects than physical torture. That said people who face emotional and or psychological abuse, especially _children_ are anything but weak; and if anyone thinks someone, much less child without a fully developed brain, is weak for crumbling under pressure or hell, even just speaking on their past or current feelings, should have to know what it feels like to be broken down to nothing but a shell, or should learn what it’s like to depend on someone and that someone not caring and or just refusing to take care of them just because, before they can even speak on such topics, genuinely. I’d be angry about those kinds of people but I see them on the internet so often I’m just tired of it.
Story 2 - when the mom sent OP the evidence of her son cheating, my petty self would've texted her back thanking her & said "wow looks like the trash took itself out" 😂😂
I was coming on here to also say I would have texted back, "thank you (ex's mother) for confirming that I made the correct decision. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree".
Story 1: You reap what you sow. The parents don’t deserve forgiveness. The fact they demand forgiveness and get so angry when they don’t receive it says a lot about them.
story 2 when my mother remarried she never changed her surname because she didn't want me and her to have different surnames, guess what my stepfather never had a problem with it because he was a real man (his tears on his birthday when I was 18 and both me and my mother had changed our names is a great memory)
I'd text the MIL back and say: "Wow, I thought the bullet I dodged was having you for a MIL but you've shown me there was was another secret sniper in the grass. Thanks, I feel better now."
They have they audacity to say she's not understanding and won't forgive them for the way they treated her her whole life because of a MISUNDERSTANDING. Like do they really think they are intelligent if they can't see the blatant hypocrisy in that. I'd just respond, all those bad things you just said about me, that's the stuff I learnt from you. I learnt to not be forgiving, I learnt to be cruel from them, I learnt to be heartless from them 🤦♂️
2nd story, I'd message the ex and say "to think, I actually believed you and was thinking about taking you back, then your mother informs me you've been cheating in me all this time". Obvs never considered taking him back, but make him believe it so he gets in an argument with his mum for ruining his opportunity to win op back 😂
OP should screenshot the text of the cheating that was given by ex-fiancé's mom and send that picture to everyone that was on the guest list for the wedding saying. "I dodged a bullet. Thank you for letting me and everyone know what a freaking horrible cheating partner your son is."
@@HeoBaby24 don't even bother Teemo is of the mindset that a woman has no individual ownership of her name and that the name "belongs" to her male progenitors
OP should screenshot the text of the cheating that was given by ex-fiancé's mom and send that picture to everyone that was on the guest list for the wedding saying. "I dodged a bullet. Thank you for letting me and everyone know what a freaking horrible cheating partner your son is."
2nd story, OP save all communications with ex MIL and fiancé just in case you need to file a restraining order against them. Also, OP could sue the ex for part of the wedding costs as it was him and his mother's fault that there will not be a wedding. Sue ex for damages as he cheated.
They can't give you back the childhood that they stole from you. Ask them how they intend to make amends, which they MUST do before there is any chance of reconnecting.
Story 1: what has me so up the wall, is they didn’t do any test to see if Op is her fathers daughter, they just immediately treated Op like outsider because of her moms affair. Not once did they ask Op to do some DNA testing. And the audacity of them calling Op cruel and heartless for her not forgiving them, they have absolutely no right to demand Op anything after they’re the same people who treated Op so wrong all because they thought she was an affair baby.
Story 2 . Don't respond to the messages . Don't block. Gather the evidence and establish a paper trail. Quietly get a conceal/carry permit and train with your firearm.
The OP is story 3 needs to stop being so defensive and try to justify herself for strangers on the internet, because there's no need to. Only 10% of the post describes what actually happened, and the other 90% is her telling everyone what she has and hasn't been doing with regards to her son's weight gain. Lady, treat yourself with a little self-respect. You're under no obligation to justify yourself to internet strangers. None of us have walked a mile in your shoes, and have no right to judge you.
Wtf is story one mom was a goodamn cheater and dad was sure op was so mediocre Story two there’s a mistake I thought they were both men but anyways it’s woke for women to keep their last name now? that’s been going on for years hell early as the eighties and yeah pos fiancé was terrible worthless momma’s boy and mom was pretty much stupid showing her evidence that ex was cheating on op she is successful beautiful and she sounds very generous and his mom and friends are pretty stupid to threaten her unaware that she could record and screenshot any threats How come some child free friends think they can be jerks and the audacity to fat shame a child and particularly a traumatized child and she added she was traumatized by this same incident and it doesn’t sound like Adam is unhealthy and also saying he could be a better father than her
second story: they agreed on something then he changed his mind last minute cus of his mom. I dont agree with her beliefs but thats still wrong cus he decided to change his mind last minute...
a lot of woman don't change there names because of professional reasons, she is a model and might have worked at getting her name known, changing her name could impact her income
@@darronpattel "I don't agree with her beliefs" was simply pointing out a reason why someone would not change their name, its almost like you didn't read what you wrote
...anyone getting ster0id usage vibes off the last story? Chemically induced aggression has a strange way of showing itself. And diminishing the capacity to make good judgment calls vis a vis biting fingers.
Maybe it’s a result of doing this on my mobile phone instead of a regular computer, but the end of almost every sentence is cut off in this video. Even though I can probably guess what is meant it’s still annoying not to be able to read the entire post. And I read it instead of listen to it because I find the voice annoying, so I guess this channel just isn’t for me.
Story 3" commentor: "Dude is so into you" yeah, the best way to say you are interested is to insult and mock a 7yr old to his mother, while also calling said mother fat. Some people have no idea how to actually be pleasant.
S1: The child did nothing wrong. Treating her so poorly by both parents is extremely messed up. The mother insisting on no DNA test caused so much harm on top of the harm she already inflicted. Shame. S2: Why get married if your desire to keep your maiden name trumps building a future with the man you claimed to love? I would budge on the maiden name but insisting the children take your name over his (not buying your claim "the kids can choose". We all heard you loud and clear that you want your name over his.) is a bridge too far. Just stay single and get a dog. No father would demand their daughter keep her name either. Just another excuse. Mother-in-law is bang on that you have likely been acting like a "strong and independant feminist" which means the marriage is doomed to fail. It does not work in a marriage. The irony of blasting the mother-in-law yet praising your father of your soon-to-be-ex. So parents only matter when it suits your narritive? Yet another red flag. You can not make this sh!t up.
Honestly, I have seen mom's that offer food to have the kid attached to them. They compensate for their personal relationship. Kid ended up with heart issues and needed an air tank before he got to his first year in highschool.
The wife-to-be in the 2nd story sounds like a gigantic red flag. Any woman that wants to keep her father's last name instead of taking her husband's last name is not worth marrying IMO.
why tho? what makes a woman not worthy to marry for wanting to keep there last name? you sound like a giant red flag believing woman should just take your last name. i wouldn't give a shit imho because I'm still married to the woman i love. and she still married to me. so why is it an issue besides you being insecure
In both story 1 and story 2: TAKE. TO. SOCIAL. MEDIA. One post, one tiktok, one video. Story one will expose an affair, child abuse and how two idiotic people literally played themselves. The Second story will also expose an affair and probably cease the harassment by the ex's friend. Sometimes, pubiblicaly shaming entitled people Works.
"they didnt abuse me but I was pretty neglected" neglect IS abuse.
A coping mechanism as many people have a subconscious desire to be accepted and loved by their parents and others. Neglect sounds less than Abuse, as many associate Abuse with active violence or emotional manipulation.
“Long story short; my mom is a revolving door.”
I almost choked on my coffee. 🤣
They should've done the paternity test in the first place and the mother shouldn't cheat as well. I don't blame Op for going NC with her parents and her brother.
2nd: It's a good thing that Op called the wedding off. Anything that involves with a toxic MIL or whatever is a major red flag. However his friends threatening Op is a childish move. Honestly, I don't get what's so special about taking the spouse's last name?
3rd story: fat shaming a child, a literal child who is still growing, is a low blow. No matter if it's a joke or whatever. That person who says those things deserves not have to anyone around them. I know it's harsh but I hate it when people fat shame anyone.
Literally the dumbest parents ever
I’d just tell the neglectful parents: “whatever I am is how you raised me, what you made me into. And why? Because your wife couldn’t keep her legs closed around your brother and you weren’t strong enough of a man to toss her into the streets where she belonged? (Laughing) and you STILL see your brother after he screwed your wife. (Said as a statement, not a question). So I got treated like trash because YOU TWO are? Hard pass on reconciliation. No thank you, I’m better off with complete strangers than my own family members. Strangers are the safer bet.” Because when I burn my bridges with people-I make it so they NEVER want to come back for any reason. When someone shows me who they really are, I believe them the first time. You don’t ever get a second chance to break my heart.
1st story. Sooo, it's okay to resent and mistreat an innocent kid, that did nothing wrong, but we can completely forgive and act normal with the cheating wife? Make it make sense.. M
0:28 I’m so tired of people who say that, “They didn’t abuse me, but I was pretty neglected” hate to break it to a lot of people, but neglect _is_ abuse and it’s sad people don’t think so; there are also many types of neglect, there’s medical neglect, nutritional neglect, emotional neglect, educational neglect, physical neglect, and lack of supervision and guidance. I think most parents, depending on the kind of neglect (like physical), can maybe get a pass if they’re broke, that’s up to the kid and the law tho, not me.
However those who intentionally neglect children, and those who unintentionally neglect them because they’re “too busy,” “don’t have time,” or “forgot,” definitely have no reason or excuse. Much less these parents as it seems they did it intentionally for the mere reason that they didn’t like OP because they _thought_ she was an affair baby.
even today a lot of people see those who have suffered from emotional abuse and neglect as somehow weak
@@vaseline69 it’s sad, and also kind of funny in a twisted sense as some abuse can be considered torture, and anyone with a brain and knows anyone with severe anxiety, ptsd, anyone who has a few years of being in the military under their belt, or even just anyone who works out, should that psychological torture can be much more damaging and have much longer side effects than physical torture.
That said people who face emotional and or psychological abuse, especially _children_ are anything but weak; and if anyone thinks someone, much less child without a fully developed brain, is weak for crumbling under pressure or hell, even just speaking on their past or current feelings, should have to know what it feels like to be broken down to nothing but a shell, or should learn what it’s like to depend on someone and that someone not caring and or just refusing to take care of them just because, before they can even speak on such topics, genuinely. I’d be angry about those kinds of people but I see them on the internet so often I’m just tired of it.
If Mom's a tramp, how do they know Adam is his?
Story 2 - when the mom sent OP the evidence of her son cheating, my petty self would've texted her back thanking her & said "wow looks like the trash took itself out" 😂😂
I was coming on here to also say I would have texted back, "thank you (ex's mother) for confirming that I made the correct decision. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree".
Like she is proud of raising a cheater 😂😂
Story 1: this story is so dumb man lmao. "this kid just chills there, they must be an affair baby" 💀. what a joke.
Without even hearing story 3 yet, my vote is NTA. Body shaming repels me in general, but a child, especially MY child. No.
Story 1: You reap what you sow. The parents don’t deserve forgiveness. The fact they demand forgiveness and get so angry when they don’t receive it says a lot about them.
story 2 when my mother remarried she never changed her surname because she didn't want me and her to have different surnames, guess what my stepfather never had a problem with it because he was a real man (his tears on his birthday when I was 18 and both me and my mother had changed our names is a great memory)
That’s very sweet, looks like you’ve got a happy family. I’m happy for you (I know you’re a stranger, but still)
@@agirlwithglasses246 like most people, mostly happy but we have had our moments through the years
I like how you say he's a real man cuz that is a real man right there.
Run girl he is a mommy's boy & will never change!
I’d tell the parents they can have me back in their lives when they make up for an entire life of neglect and ruining your childhood
So they blame the child for the mom being the Town Bicycle what
Story 2: my reply to the cheating would be "well its your son im not surprised you teach him that"
I'd text the MIL back and say: "Wow, I thought the bullet I dodged was having you for a MIL but you've shown me there was was another secret sniper in the grass. Thanks, I feel better now."
I'd have asked if they'd tested Adam....
They have they audacity to say she's not understanding and won't forgive them for the way they treated her her whole life because of a MISUNDERSTANDING. Like do they really think they are intelligent if they can't see the blatant hypocrisy in that. I'd just respond, all those bad things you just said about me, that's the stuff I learnt from you. I learnt to not be forgiving, I learnt to be cruel from them, I learnt to be heartless from them 🤦♂️
2nd story, I'd message the ex and say "to think, I actually believed you and was thinking about taking you back, then your mother informs me you've been cheating in me all this time". Obvs never considered taking him back, but make him believe it so he gets in an argument with his mum for ruining his opportunity to win op back 😂
OP should screenshot the text of the cheating that was given by ex-fiancé's mom and send that picture to everyone that was on the guest list for the wedding saying.
"I dodged a bullet. Thank you for letting me and everyone know what a freaking horrible cheating partner your son is."
Story 2 - OP dodged a bullet. She doesn't have to deal with a lying cheating Mama's boy
The fiancé is an AH for cheating and the OP is a giant red flag as well.
@@TeemoTeemossonwhy is op a "giant red flag?" what did she do? besides still wanting her family name which it shouldn't be a fuckin issue
@@HeoBaby24 don't even bother Teemo is of the mindset that a woman has no individual ownership of her name and that the name "belongs" to her male progenitors
@@vaseline69 basically
OP should screenshot the text of the cheating that was given by ex-fiancé's mom and send that picture to everyone that was on the guest list for the wedding saying.
"I dodged a bullet. Thank you for letting me and everyone know what a freaking horrible cheating partner your son is."
2nd story: I would have sent MIL's texts about the cheating to all the ex's buddies. But I'm cruel.
They're friends. They more than likely already knew. Wouldn't be the first story where everyone knew OP wasn't the man's only partner.
@@southernflight5078 Proceed to send his infidelity to his work place. So even his friend might know his co-worker will look at him differently.
2nd story, OP save all communications with ex MIL and fiancé just in case you need to file a restraining order against them. Also, OP could sue the ex for part of the wedding costs as it was him and his mother's fault that there will not be a wedding. Sue ex for damages as he cheated.
I'd post screenshots of MIL's messages about ex-fiance cheating online and ask "why did I ever plan on marrying this guy?" 😂
They can't give you back the childhood that they stole from you. Ask them how they intend to make amends, which they MUST do before there is any chance of reconnecting.
Story 1: what has me so up the wall, is they didn’t do any test to see if Op is her fathers daughter, they just immediately treated Op like outsider because of her moms affair.
Not once did they ask Op to do some DNA testing. And the audacity of them calling Op cruel and heartless for her not forgiving them, they have absolutely no right to demand Op anything after they’re the same people who treated Op so wrong all because they thought she was an affair baby.
Story 2 . Don't respond to the messages . Don't block. Gather the evidence and establish a paper trail. Quietly get a conceal/carry permit and train with your firearm.
The OP is story 3 needs to stop being so defensive and try to justify herself for strangers on the internet, because there's no need to. Only 10% of the post describes what actually happened, and the other 90% is her telling everyone what she has and hasn't been doing with regards to her son's weight gain. Lady, treat yourself with a little self-respect. You're under no obligation to justify yourself to internet strangers. None of us have walked a mile in your shoes, and have no right to judge you.
Wtf is story one mom was a goodamn cheater and dad was sure op was so mediocre
Story two there’s a mistake I thought they were both men but anyways it’s woke for women to keep their last name now? that’s been going on for years hell early as the eighties and yeah pos fiancé was terrible worthless momma’s boy and mom was pretty much stupid showing her evidence that ex was cheating on op she is successful beautiful and she sounds very generous and his mom and friends are pretty stupid to threaten her unaware that she could record and screenshot any threats
How come some child free friends think they can be jerks and the audacity to fat shame a child and particularly a traumatized child and she added she was traumatized by this same incident and it doesn’t sound like Adam is unhealthy and also saying he could be a better father than her
second story: they agreed on something then he changed his mind last minute cus of his mom. I dont agree with her beliefs but thats still wrong cus he decided to change his mind last minute...
a lot of woman don't change there names because of professional reasons, she is a model and might have worked at getting her name known, changing her name could impact her income
@@vaseline69 its like you didnt even read what i wrote...lol
@@darronpattel "I don't agree with her beliefs" was simply pointing out a reason why someone would not change their name, its almost like you didn't read what you wrote
@@vaseline69 clearly youre commenting in bad faith though...
@@darronpattel wow you can see into my mind, really should take that show on the road
S2: in my country nobody changes surname and we're fine. What a crybaby.
...anyone getting ster0id usage vibes off the last story? Chemically induced aggression has a strange way of showing itself. And diminishing the capacity to make good judgment calls vis a vis biting fingers.
Maybe it’s a result of doing this on my mobile phone instead of a regular computer, but the end of almost every sentence is cut off in this video. Even though I can probably guess what is meant it’s still annoying not to be able to read the entire post. And I read it instead of listen to it because I find the voice annoying, so I guess this channel just isn’t for me.
Story 3" commentor: "Dude is so into you" yeah, the best way to say you are interested is to insult and mock a 7yr old to his mother, while also calling said mother fat. Some people have no idea how to actually be pleasant.
2nd story, I wouldn't want to marry a woke woman myself. Too much is a hassle to deal with the constant nagging!
Maybe Adam is not her father’s son
S1: The child did nothing wrong. Treating her so poorly by both parents is extremely messed up. The mother insisting on no DNA test caused so much harm on top of the harm she already inflicted. Shame.
S2: Why get married if your desire to keep your maiden name trumps building a future with the man you claimed to love? I would budge on the maiden name but insisting the children take your name over his (not buying your claim "the kids can choose". We all heard you loud and clear that you want your name over his.) is a bridge too far. Just stay single and get a dog. No father would demand their daughter keep her name either. Just another excuse. Mother-in-law is bang on that you have likely been acting like a "strong and independant feminist" which means the marriage is doomed to fail. It does not work in a marriage. The irony of blasting the mother-in-law yet praising your father of your soon-to-be-ex. So parents only matter when it suits your narritive? Yet another red flag. You can not make this sh!t up.
Yessir
Hi
Story 3 : Literally what did you expect from Jerry's Kind
Jerry's kind? What does that mean?
@@deadsouljaguar7041 You know THAT Kind
Honestly, I have seen mom's that offer food to have the kid attached to them. They compensate for their personal relationship. Kid ended up with heart issues and needed an air tank before he got to his first year in highschool.
@@MayankKumar-bl2dy Sorry, but I am not really familiar with Jerry's kind. It's something that I haven't really heard before
“We’re liberals”
Please Marty each other and save others from your liberal BS..
Don’t spread your misery…
The wife-to-be in the 2nd story sounds like a gigantic red flag. Any woman that wants to keep her father's last name instead of taking her husband's last name is not worth marrying IMO.
why tho? what makes a woman not worthy to marry for wanting to keep there last name? you sound like a giant red flag believing woman should just take your last name.
i wouldn't give a shit imho because I'm still married to the woman i love. and she still married to me.
so why is it an issue besides you being insecure
my friends mother kept her last name as she is a well known academic and changing her professional name would impact her career
@@vaseline69 I'm glad she kept her father's last name.
@@TeemoTeemosson her father was a piece of trash she hated, she kept the name she spent decades making well known
@@TeemoTeemosson her son has her surname and her 2 daughters have their fathers
In both story 1 and story 2: TAKE. TO. SOCIAL. MEDIA. One post, one tiktok, one video. Story one will expose an affair, child abuse and how two idiotic people literally played themselves. The Second story will also expose an affair and probably cease the harassment by the ex's friend. Sometimes, pubiblicaly shaming entitled people Works.