How to Enjoy Motherhood More (8 Tips for Parents!)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ค. 2024
- Parenthood is not easy. Being a mom or dad, especially with babies or young children, is very challenging. Motherhood is not hard because you are bad at it, it’s hard because it’s hard. Here are my tips for parents to be able to settle into motherhood more easily and actually enjoy being a mom or dad. This video is from my heart and my experience as a mother of three young children. If you have tips for moms and dads to help them through this stage of parenthood please leave them in the comments so this can be a resource for other families!
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Motherhood is a gift but it comes with a whole slew of challenges. In this video I talk about some of the hard stuff we face when we have a baby and how to work through things like postpartum marital struggles, postpartum depression and anxiety, making friends as a new parent, and finding a new sense of identity as mom and dad. If you have more to add to what I shared please leave your own parenting advice in the comment section below. Thank you and congratulations on growing your family!
![How to balance motherhood - [& work, marriage and everything else.]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/2nqSbYgi4Tw/mqdefault.jpg)
![เกิดใหม่ทั้งทีก็เป็นสไลม์ไปซะแล้ว ซีซั่น 3 - ตอนที่ 64 [ซับไทย]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Pmsta0byEpk/mqdefault.jpg)
Now that my son is 14 months, life is so much happier and easier. I now have no problem saying that I do not like babies. I’m so excited to have another child but I know I will definitely give myself more grace for not enjoying the baby stage. Crazy toddler life has been the best so far for sure!
My 6 month old decided to wake up at 3am today, husband is working a 15 hr day and it’s just me taking care of my teething little one. I never get a break. I’m also a young mom(20) and it’s hard! But also wonderful! One of the things that has been helping me is to get off any mommy forums because it just builds anxiety. Just go with the flow and ride the waves!
You got this momma!
My husband works a lot of hours per day too and I'm the only one taking care of our newborn baby all day and night. I can't make him sleep from 10pm to 2am and he screams like crazy unless I hold him and walk around. As soon as I try to sit down the screaming begins.
Lilian (no judgement) have u tried swaddling? This helped us out.
I also love tubby time. We play Raffi on utube ,have some simple tubby toys and have a good time. Change of scenery is helpful. Naps are usually longer, especially if I give her a massage.
Omg I know it’s been a couple weeks but you did it! You got through that day! Proud of you! I’m a young mom too and it can feel so overwhelming especially when teething and overtime are added to the mix, I feel like the kids start going nuts when daddy is supposed to be home, I know what it feels like to never get a break lol I’m 20 with a 1 and 2 year old.
@@MyLillyLove my baby was like this. It's not forever. For us it was just a matter of her adjusting to life outside the womb and she was okay within a month or so. If you are still dealing with this, check with your pediatrician to make sure there's not something else going on.
I try to remember that motherhood is one of the biggest things that brings me fundamental joy in giving myself to another, in giving my life. Nobody is forcing me to give myself, to do this incredibly hard and beautiful thing. I choose to. Every day I choose to. And that is everything to me.
Aside from leaning on Christ and His peace and grace, this one perspective shift really helped me, especially going from 1-2 kids… I was stuck in “waiting” mindset - waiting for the moments, days, nights, etc. to become easier. Then I realized my perspective needed to change to this: every day will have very sweet moments and very challenging moments, so I put effort in to fully enjoying the sweet moments and leaning on Christ to get through the challenging moments with grace and love and gentleness and kindness.
On top of that, my husband helped me to remember that I need time to myself and that’s ok! I needed to take 1 hr to get a pedicure or my hair done or workout. And it should be a win-win… mama gets time to herself and dad gets time with the kids❤️
Praying for all the parents!
Also, instead of thinking having a child will challenge your relationship with your partner, think of it as an opportunity for you and your partner to work together, get to know each other on a new level, be more intentional with time together… it can be a huge positive and blessing to a relationship if you put effort in to it. Not saying there won’t even be conflict or tough seasons but just another way of seeing it. 🥰
I can’t say how much I needed to hear this even though I know it but resist it..thanks for writing this comment
Thank you for your insight. We don't have children yet since we're getting married in 3 months, but seeing the birth of babies as a new challenge to live together is a very positive perspective. I was a bit worried about the conflicts that would arise. Thank you !
I love her honesty. It’s how a lot of moms feel
When I was pregnant I turned my nose up at going to a mum's group because that was so far from what my life was. I ended up going to a mum's group at a local church when I was struggling and it helped so much! I've met a new best friend which I didn't think could happen this late in life.
Being a new mom in a pandemic , getting sick with COVID with a new born , losing 2 people in my family, and watching my country fall apart has definitely been the hardest challenge I've ever tackled. However, you're stronger than you think, better times will come...
I’m right there with you!! Sick Newborn, sick toddler, grumpy teenager and Covid, the loss my dog and my Grandma all since Dec 12th. Happy Holidays
❤️
Wow, this is me as well. Had my baby two weeks ago and my husband and I got Covid in the hospital while I was giving birth. My baby has been sick as well and my husband just lost his grandfather to Covid a few days ago and now his grandmother is in the hospital with Covid as well. It truly is hard to believe in the midst of it but each day gets a little better.
I just had my first baby 5 days ago. The timing of this video couldn’t have been more perfect 🥺❤️
"Your mind is not always on your team" Jess, I needed this video more than I can explain today. Thank you, friend
Having help is such a blessing and makes all the difference. My husband and I left the US to have our children in Central Europe where we could afford to have a nanny and even someone to help clean twice a month. I could not imagine just doing all home and baby care alone, it’s not healthy and not we have evolved. Mom needs her tribe and also a social life - ideally part of the social life needs to be with other moms. I have that here is as well with a group of expat moms and it’s been very helpful. While not everyone has the option to hire out (we didn’t have the option of family help), it’s important to find some way to get help and not feel alone.
I am new mom too my little one is 6 months. My husband work at night and a day he sleep to take rest. And I am the one who care her day night. He helps me when he is awake but depression has attacked me I was feeling alone, anxiety, fear, sad for no reason I really try harder to enjoy with her a lot but my mind just go to think for nothing. I really needed this video ☺️☺️☺️ thank you
I think finding a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group at a local church is the BEST way to find mom friends. My mops group has totally saved me. ❤️
My husband and I have a group of couple friends who are all pregnant within a month. There are 5 of us ladies who are pregnant! I’m excited that I’m already going to have built in mom friends. Such a blessing!
My son is 4 and a half months old and I was severely struggling the whole first 4 months. 3 main things that helped me
1. Go for a drive. There were days I did not feel safe doing this due to sleep deprivation but the days I felt well enough I would pour myself a water, pack myself a snack, and bring a book/work/or make-up and drive until my baby fell asleep. Then i would stop at a park and get stuff done or just have a moment to enjoy the quiet or a cup of coffee.
2. Do WHATEVER you need to do, within your means, to make life easier. Buy the gadget, eat out, change your routine to accommodate.
3. Reaching out for professional help. Doesn’t have to be for depression or anxiety specifically. I saw an EAP councilor who was previously a social worker and also a mom of twins. She provided me great resources and our conversation was very validating.
Absolutely ! Moms are human beings. You cannot be available 24/7, you need breaks too. It's OK to prioritise yourself regularly.
This is the most accurate video of motherhood I’ve ever watched. I just happened to stumble upon this video and I’m so happy I did! Even the marriage and relationship part is just spot on.
I NEEDED this video today. Currently, hiding in the car for 20 minutes cause 🤯🤯🤯
Also, I had my baby at 32. I've lived on my own since 17. So the life shift has been much, much harder than I imagined.
Does it get better?
You can do it !!!! Like Jess said just get over this hump, commit and make it to the other side!!
This video was so needed today. I am 20 years old and experienced a totally unplanned pregnancy last year. Actually I found out I was pregnant a year ago today. I had my son on September 25th, 2021, and even though he is the absolute best thing that’s ever happened to me, motherhood also simultaneously feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. It has been SO much harder than I ever could’ve anticipated, especially those first 6 weeks. I have felt like I’m drowning at times but seeing your videos has truly made me feel less alone. So thank you, Jess. Thank you for sharing your story and giving your words of wisdom. They are truly appreciated and make me feel more sane as I navigate this new journey of motherhood. ❤️
This was so needed for me today. I'm a first time mom with a one month old and there truly is no guidebook. Thank you
Aw congratulations! You’re so welcome. Happy to be here with you in this.
SAME WITH ME! I feel like such a bad mom!
First time mom of a two month old-I feel like I turned a corner after 6 weeks, but up until that point both my husband and I really really struggled. It helps so much to watch videos like this and to see other moms in the comments and know I’m not alone. We got this!
@@kirstynboyd1982 Coming back now that baby is 3 months old and we truly feel like we've hit our stride. It really does get better, so thankful for this community
@@XxMinixNinjaxX we are in the same boat here ☺️ …doing MUCH better at 3 months. For any new moms watching this video, wondering if you’ll ever adjust to motherhood-you will ❤️. It just takes time; don’t be too hard on yourself.
I honestly can't thank you enough for this video. Everything you mentioned is something I've felt in the past 13 months of being a mom... Everything. The past couple weeks I've literally been losing sleep (moreso anyway) wondering whether i made a huge mistake, whether there are other moms out there who genuinely hate some parts of motherhood, whether this will ever get better.
THANK YOU for reminding me that THIS IS HARD. And it's temporary. And I love my kid more than life itself. And I have a partner that is on my team for life. And it's ok that this isn't always a great time right now because it'll pass.
Thank you for being you 🖤 you're keeping mamas sane!
This video is such a blessing, thank you for making it, I am married and a mom to a wonderful 4 month old, however a few weeks after he arrived my husband and I started talking about separating, the sleep deprivation and stress have really emotionally distanced us, your words put into perspective everything in regards to working together and understanding that we are both just having a hard time but haven't stopped loving each other
I loved hearing Becca say don't judge them the first time you hang out!! I try to give 3 chances before I say they're not for me.
This video is so important! Nothing makes you feel more alone than new motherhood and wondering what you're doing wrong and why you feel so awful. It does get better and you have great advice!
Lack of support is the biggest thing. We can get through all the hardships in life if you don’t feel alone.
People keep telling me it won't get easier just different and it's do discouraging. Glad to hear you think it gets easier
I definitely had a rough day today and did not enjoy being a mom. several melt downs and lack of sleep for both of us. Thank you for this video! I always enjoy how honest you are about your motherhood journey.
Thanks for always being so real and raw about motherhood. We need to normalize it more bc it’s really hard! But also very rewarding.
I’m so glad I watched this video today. I just got home from a 10 hour shift and I’m so exhausted mentally and physically but I still missed my 11 month old and wanted to spend my last energy playing with him and feeding him before he went to bed. But my partner hasn’t done the dishes or cleaned much all day and I literally just spent all my last drops of energy on our baby. When he works and I’m home I always make sure to have the dishes and laundry done and food cooked, and everything for the most part cleaned. So it’s frustrating sometimes that as a mom I not only have to work some days at an actual job, but also work every second of my life when I’m home and with my little one. I rarely get any form of a break. So hearing this video and feeling supported really helped me a lot. I know things can’t ever be perfect but it’s so important to look at the positive side- like the love we feel for our little ones, and realize that we’re strong and make it through the hard moments.
Thanks Jess ♥️♥️
I see a comment here saying this is a negative perspective but that’s not it at all. This helps because it’s validation- life isn’t rose colored and beautiful all the time and motherhood has been romanticized for way too long. Why? To secure the “first comes love second comes marriage and a baby carriage” mindset. This give me a sense of being seen and heard, not an anomaly with a hard time being a mother, but a realist, along with other moms, who admit that this stuff is HARD. Thank you ♥️
What an amazing message!
I think that we can get caught up on all the talk about how babies are so adorable (which they are) and what a blessing it is to have one ( which it absolutely is) but people don’t tell you about motherhood and how hard it is. Maybe because we don’t want to be judge if we aren’t 100% on top of everything.
Anyway, thank you for your uplifting message and genuine kindness 😊
I have been watching your videos since I was 3 weeks postpartum with my daughter in 2020 and binge your videos constantly and this video has been the most helpful for me so far. I love the "riding the wave" of motherhood analogy and the ending affirmations made me tear up and get emotional. Thank you for sharing Jess
Aw wow Amelia thank you so much. It helps me to know what helps when I share it! So grateful for you being here and watching my content ❤️
I think what your videos really made me realize, is that having help is a great thing, something that should be celebrated and of course also something that you should be grateful for. I am pregnant with my first and I thought that my partner and I would have to handle everything by ourselves and that this would be the norm. But I truly believe now that I will take all the help that I want to have, I am so lucky to have my sister and my parents nearby, even though they are working, but I know that they are very willing to help during their free time and how great is that?! If it wasn't for your channel, I might have super high expectations for myself and then think I am a failure if I didn't live up to them.
Obviously I don't know yet. But I think you save a lot of moms their sanity!
I appreciate you on so many levels. I found you a few months ago when I was pregnant with my 2nd baby I also have an almost 3 year old & I'm a single mom not like that matter it's hard for all of us no matter our situation & I'm not liking being a mom lately during the transition 1 to 2 & it's so hard to make friends, meet moms you vibe with and all your videos I can just relate to so much. You're so raw and real and i can tell u actually give a s*** about all of us on here. Thankyou ❤ I definitely can also say deleting facebook was the best thing for mr to feel good.
Oh it matters. I thank god every freaking day I’m not a single mom. I don’t know how you guys do it! Kudos!!!
Much needed word of encouragement. Thank you!
You spoke about every single thing I’m struggling with right now & helped me so much. Thank you!
I feel like crying... My 2yr old is in daycare because I'm a single mom and he's literally sick every other week if not weekly. I have to take off work to watch him and then I end up getting it and have to work through it because all my PTO is used on him. I'm drained and feel like death. This is so freaking hard.
Thank you for this video. Your videos like this really helped me with my first who is now 18 months old. Today my second baby is 3 weeks old and it’s a whole new season we’re learning to get through.
I needed this video when I first became a mom a few months before COVID happened. I can relate on every level, thank you for making me feel seen!
All good reminders at our current stage now as we prepare for #2 - arriving in March 🥰
Jess, this is such a great video. I watched a lot of your videos when my baby was weeks old and I was exhausted, terrified and depressed. You helped me so much. Now she’s almost 1yo and things are much easier. Still hard but somehow I am more resilient and hopeful. Love from the UK ❤️
Thank you so much! Im honored to have helped you!! What a gift! So much love to you!
This is so what I need to hear. Thank you so much ❤
Thankyou so much for this vid!!! I love these kind of encouraging videos. Its very simple but a reminder is very beneficial for all of us
Thanks again!!!
You’re so amazing. This made me feel so much better.
Thank you so much!! I can definitely relay to all that you said. Thank you so much!!
Thank-you. Bc this is how I feel and all of this hit home(the dark side etc.)..and it's hard as most do not sympathize or can't even begin to comprehend this "foreign" un-normalized norm when you reach out. I did the same "googling" and found your other video( I don't like being a mom) awhile back and it hit just the same and then this. I don't watch often but when I do. This content is why. Relief-sense of being not the only one bc I know I can't be.
Thanks for the video. I needed this today.
Thank you for this video! I'm a first time mother to a 10 week old and it's so hard at times. I love my daughter so much, but there are many aspects of parenthood that I really resent. I heard it gets more rewarding once the child learns to communicate. Just trying to survive until then...
As soon as you say "Hello" it brings a smile to my face. Thank you for your videos!!
Aw thank you so much Lauren.
This!!! Thanks for sharing this wonderful video! 🥰
So so needed! The Lord used you to bless me so much through this ❤️
Thank you for the tips! 🤗 What a lovely personality you have 🥰.
This video was so helpful. I’m a mama to a three year old and 8month old and the sleep deprivation is so hard on top of dealing with tantrums and toddler energy lol 😝
I have listened to Mandy Arioto’s book, “Have More Fun” several times on Audible because I am super goal oriented & hard on myself. Currently 22 weeks pregnant & I already know motherhood is going to be a trip to say the least 😅 Mandy’s book has already proved helpful for me but she talks about how to have more fun in parenting too so I would highly recommend mamas! ❤
Thank you for posting thiss ! Very relateable and yess 💯 on meeting with other parent friends and all about stages. I use to think it was only my struggle to make friends ( my awkwardness perhaps) but the whole thing about being yourself is soo freeing and that’s when it happens 🙌🏼 ❤️
Of course! Thank you for watching!! Making friends is always awkward you aren’t alone :) thankful to have you here.
Jess reads minds! At least mine 😂 this is exactly how I was and how I felt as a new mom almost 2 years ago and I'm about to do it all again in a few months! Im excited about the person who my baby will be, but I'm not excited about being a new mom again. But, I've done it before so I know I can do it again!
Would love a VGMC hat in black with white lettering.... Or any other pretty colors, green, blue, neutrals 💙
I cannot thank you enough, you have such a beautiful soul 😭❤️
Thank you for posting this content. I really needed someone to tell me all of this...
Of course Im so happy to know it helps!
Omg thank you for this , needed some truth n real ness about motherhood
Thanks!
Thank you thank you thank you Jess for your wonderful videos!!!! That is all I have to say... Thank you
Thank YOU for watching and commenting!! ❤️
I love your content ♥️ you helped me to get out of the house with my baby, i was terrified
Aw that makes me so happy thank you for telling me!
I think taking "you time" is SO important too x
I totally agree with you ❤️
Thankyou you’re amazing 🥰
Hey mamas , one thing that has helped me is dancing to Fitness Marshall dance routines in the morn (on TH-cam ), feel much more fit and my bub loves watching me dance hehe
I'm still struggling so much with getting out of the house and spending time with other parents because all I've ever known is pandemic parenthood. We spent so long alone with our little that I'm still so hesitant to take her out places and she's already 19 months old.
I know something has to give eventually, but there's so much emotion wrapped up in it. D=
Feel you completely. We are 9.5 months in, and my husband’s new job took us across the country to a town of 600. Slim pickings for new friends and all of my old friends ghosting has made an already hard situation into an even harder one. All we can do is try and take it a day at a time. You’re doing great!
Relate so much! I am on the same boat, baby is 6 months, the first three months we were in lockdown, and even though lockdown has finished, I am very anxious about taking her to public places or going to visit friends. As much as I love my baby, it just started to become very mind numbing, just me and him at home every day, I am running out of ideas of how to entertain him and I feel tired all the time, not so much just from parenting itself but mostly because lack of mental stimulation
Same. 14 months in and I'm not willing to do inside activities lol. My poor son gets so excited seeing kids in the store .... I wish I could get him around them more. And yeah, I feel like I may not vibe with a lot of parents.
This is great. I just wanted to say - the challenges of motherhood have really helped me grow as a person. For instance I used to never be on time for anything, but now that I have a baby who has more of a nap schedule, I'm HIGHLY motivated to be timely because I care about my kid. I also think this is the most self-sacrificing Jesus like activity I've ever engaged in. So that's good if I can become more Christlike.
I love this so much! Thank you Lauren! Great perspective!
Can I just say I love your videos! I am a soon-to-be mom in Singapore, juggling 2 jobs day and night but your videos just keeps me going, motivating me to do even more for my newborn! It gives me a realistic view on how can I expect in the coming days and I really appreciate all your contents! ☺️
This means so much to me! Thank you!!
Also congratulations and you’re amazing for working so hard. ❤️
Everyone talk about finding friends I’m in Alexandria and struggling to find friends for 4 years now before without kids and now with 1 baby is especially hard.
i needed this badly
my baby is 8 months old. my husband works from home most of the time. we also have a helper. ı am not working. I am supposed to be okay but ı am struggling so much! I am trying to be kind to myself but it's hard. I am ashamed most of the time. Thank you so much for this video!
I needed this today. Aside from my own little boy, I have two bonus sons. I love them dearly, but we don't get to raise them full-time and so they bring behaviours and values to our home from their mother's house that really don't align with what we accept or like. And it can be so draining. Today is one of those days - I am so tired of the constant moping and bickering and lack of consideration. They are much older than the children you speak about, but this still really helped because sometimes I just need to hear other mothers say: It's not all hunky dory, it is not always fun, but these kids are still worth it and we just need to go with the flow. So thank you.
Gracias, Gracias, Gracias! muchas muchas gracias
Gracias a ti!!
Fun thing I like to do to enjoy motherhood is take my kiddos (2 y.o. and 5 m.o.) outside or into the garage and just kind of mill around out there! I love watching my 2 year olds curious mind at work (though it can be frustrating to restrain at times!) I cant help but share in her joy over small discoveries (just like I cant help but share in her meltdowns 😅😅😅)
Praise Jesus for new life!
Just had a baby he’s 4 months old I’m exhausted but I’m still mourning my birth I want a so over I really want another baby but I’m also so tired I’m seeing spots I need rest and food
Being a parent and especially a mother is exhausting at times, actually most of the time. I’d like to point out one major thing though: there are women who conceive because they are tied to religious beliefs. They think that they HAVE to be a mother because they decided to marry and therefore that is their duty, to “serve”.
I find it disgusting and not human to think this way. The moment you bring a kid into the world you’re responsible for them, you can’t just say that it was dropped on you to “be” a mother.
Do it once, twice, three times, after a while others may get a little sick of hearing terrible experiences while it was your choice all along. Birth control is a gift and an option for many women.
Wow what a negative outlook on precious new life. Much of the best things in life *are not easy* -that doesn't mean it would be better to not experience it at all, in order to avoid the difficult aspects. This life is not perfect or always easy for anybody and it's a lie that we can somehow achieve 100% contentment by trying to avoid hardship and sacrifices.
@@mbwilson8592 This video is in itself a negative outlook on new life, so I don’t understand your comment. Perhaps you should read more carefully both comments before you advocate
I agree with you, not every woman is meant to be a mother and that’s okay. I wish church/religious groups recognized and celebrated the fact that women are so much more than caregivers. Having children is a choice and should be brought into the world because of external pressure or something you’re just supposed to do.
Having said that, I’m a first time mother myself and this video has been so helpful and practical for me. Thank you so much 🙏🏽
You say if I can do it, so can you! As much as my love my children. I don’t want to do it
Not going to go into alot of detail because then it will be essays but j do have mental health issues prior and during motherhood. My son just turned one and he has delays and he's small and I blame myself because I hate myself so much. I'm in therapy and medication. Question is: how do I stay in the present and stop unbonding and treating him older because I see him as a adult? Living more in future and feel like a bad mom or not a mom. My marriage is struggling too since I'm losing all kinds of intimacy from stress about life and what's the point
Thanks for this video Jessica. The more Mamas that talk about this the better. I am so thankful that I watched this and also that I found my way through it and love being a Mama and motherhood now. Finally and thankfully 😍
I have a 6 year old and Im 8 months pregnant. Its been a hard season of parenting these last few months. Some nights Im alone with my 6 year old when my fiancé is at work. It can hard to enjoy it when we have to be on top of him all day 😓 i feel bad but I also get happy when its his bedtime for a much needed break 🤞🏻
can i get your outfit details? haha i love it!
Yea... having a 2 year old and a newborn...what was I thinking?😵💫😵💫
I really like your videos! ❤️ All of them are great but How to Overcome Discouragement as a New Mom (or anyone) is my favorite and has been so encouraging to me. It came at the just the right time in my life. Also, I'm not a mom yet, and I want to have kids, but am also very scared of having children because I'm afraid I won't like being a mom (that's a great video of yours too. . .). I love how your videos show how much you love your kids, but also the reality that it can be really hard and not fun sometimes. To me that's encouraging to hear that those feelings are normal and valid as I look ahead to hopefully becoming a mother one day. Thank you for the thoughtfulness and effort you put into your content, Jess!
Thank you so much for this! It means a lot to me that you would share and that you watch my content :) you’re the reason i make videos and Im so grateful.
Hard is really and truly contextual. Sure, early motherhood is physically demanding and asks a lot of us, but folks, nothing is harder than a teenager engaging in self-harm, parenting through an eating disorder, bullying, your kid being a bully, guarding against the beginnings of addiction, teaching skills and habits around porn, preparing for independent young adulthood, navigating social media, teaching how to have safe sex etc.. A whining toddler or a colicy baby can be hard, but lets be honest about the degrees of hard and what depths of selflessness, skill, patience and internal sturdiness that the latter years of our children's lives will surely demand.