What's the Saddest "It's Okay, I'm Used to It." You've Heard? | People Stories #90
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
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"Sometimes I missed the abuse. At least someone wanted to spend time with me." This broke my heart.
Hurts because it's true.
UNfortunately, this is true. I was in the same position...
@@TailsGuy72 Sucks to be us I guess
It really is the only thing that gets me freinds though...
The nice kids just ignore me cause I'm not part of their friend group or whatever.
I'm mostly just ignored. My teachers and my best friend don't ignore me though
I say I'm ok
I'm not ok.
I share everything on the internet because my parents will care more.
I never want people to care more or less, I just want things to stay the same.
That's why I lie so much
@@-hollythekitsune-7086 I hope I don’t come off as mean or insensitive when I ask this, but do you like lying so much? Does it treat you well? Do you feel good about it?
I involuntarily say "sorry" constantly due to past trauma and a coworker once told me: "You know, you don't have to apologize for existing" and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I realized myself, during a meltdown, that I really do feel sorry for existing and bothering every living being in a ten mile radius. But, that's not true. It's "funny" what you can forget or overlook because it's the only way to function at all.
Same. Whenever I would upset one of my “friends” she would stop talking to me until I had apologized a ton and admitted repeatedly she was in the right. She was nasty man ;-;
same i just say sorry out of no where like even if nothing's wrong whenever i feel like i'm getting annoying i say sorry even tho the person i'm talking to never said anything abt me being annoying
Hah I feel this
I say sorry all the time because I’ve always had the blame put on me and I say it a lot to my gf since I always think I’m doing something wrong or I upset her somehow and it hurt her when I said I’m used to it and now she’s helping me
That "I'm so sorry, I'm just rambling." one just hits so close to home.
That's me, only it's "Sorry, I'm explaining again. "
Same here. It's either that or "Sorry, I shouldn't bother you"
Same
yup. adhd and autism, my mum always would tell me to stop rambling or to shush. gf loves to listen to me ramble nowadays
@@Slythegirl123 I am always told that. But I don't have anyone that likes me. :(
It's worse when the person saying it has that burned out look.
Yeah, all depressed looking like they just worked a full-time shift for a part-time wage
Fr
That's me...
Here for comments.
Yeah, feel that, but I feel like I say so often now that people don't have an emotional reaction to when I say it. It really freaking hurts when the people closest to you start to not care about your life. But, like this video, I'm used to it. I keep everything inside and don't tell anybody, partially because it's a big masculinity issue, partially because I feel everyone else matters more. I'm desperate for a gf just so I can feel okay and loved and wanted, cuz my last one didn't even care about me. 6 kids at home, and I usually have to watch over everything while the parents work. It's school and then chores and watching the family. Either that or, because my parents are really strict, I'm sitting alone in my room, wishing for someone to talk to. I'd blown my top a couple days ago and snuck around with my phone because I felt so incredibly alone. Got caught and I don't know when I'll be able to talk to my friends again (watching this from school laptop, can't talk to friends on here.) I got so upset and apologetic I ended up throwing up gagging on nothing. I was so depressed (have moderate anxiety and depression and severe ADHD) that I'd just not eaten anything that day besides a cheese sandwich. I was just gagging and sobbing, I hadn't cried for a year, and I was physically convulsing on the bathroom floor. My Dad finds me and asks why I'm doing this, and I tell him that I feel so sad and lonely. He apologizes, and I say I'm used to it. I could see the heartbreak in his gaze, and he sat there for a minute and tried to calm me down, though he had to take my sister to cheer (yeah, I get the short end of the stick in my family) I just feel like nothing will ever get better. If anybody has anything positive to say, please tell me. Every word counts.Thank you if you read this whole thing. I would type more but nobody asked for me to write in the first place.
I said this to a college professor once. I think it even came out subconsciously. See, ever since I was a kid, I get missed or forgotten on lists, rotations, schedules, even when teachers count papers to pass around, it's a weird joke the universe plays on me I'm just always skipped (honestly it's kind of funny to me now). Anyway, she had passed a few things out around the room and I ended up without them each time. She apologized sincerely and was like "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to forget you." and instinctually I was like "It's okay, I'm used to it." and there was a look of sadness on her face. The rest of the semester, when she handed out the papers she always started with me. I love you Edie. You're still my fave
From now on, i will randomly remember this comment, from time to time, so you don't have to feel like you're forgotten anymore :D
Something similar happened to me in the first grade, everyone that year got sung "happy birthday" on their birthdays's...except me my teacher forgot and I just felt really sad
@@shinysoda6
Hey, I know that feel. When‘s your birthday? Was it recently or is it going to be soon?
Anyway, I hope you have a great birthday, no matter if it‘s soon or if it has been recently. You‘re awesome!
@@theunicorn1167
Thanks :)
@@shinysoda6
No need to thank me fam 💕
"I'm not afraid to be sexually abused it's normal" a girl I used to work with told me this, I later found out why and it's horrifyingly heartbreaking
Ik it’s one of the most terrible things to happen to a person because it just scars them and all that shit it’s just terrible. I feel so sorry for her
That probably stems from people telling her 'It's not a big deal' when she finally told someone in charge. Seriously no-one should go through that
@@nightsky9939 yeah so do I, I lost contact with her but I hope she's doing better
@@sagorikaroy3505didn't help when her mum turned a blind eye to what the men in her family were doing to her
@@ummokay2611 whoa that's...i don't even have words to describe how much I hate people like these
The one about the 8 year old boy letting people beat him up to make friends made me cry. That is absolutely heartbreaking
And that’s why I don’t have friends. Lol
It's okay he is used to it. But seriously that's messed up.
I cried too... Broke my heart...
@nick andrew I wanna have you over at my house so we can play videogames.
@nick andrew I have a Nintendo Gamecube, Switch, and My brother's Xbox X.
Correction: Xbox One X.
That being interrupted one is so true. I’ve gone through several entire changes in my speech patterns due to me trying to correct myself so people would listen. As a kid, I was too loud. Then I was too quiet. Then I was too innocent. Then I was too blunt. Then I was too energetic. Now I’m too disinterested. People always give me shit for being on my phone but I have nothing else consistent.
Atleast you know how to not say the most retarded, cringyestt or offensive things.
Throughout my life my tongue has said stuff that are really strange for some reason, sometimes I was actually shouted at because apparently what I said was offensive or racist to the person I was talking to..
Emma C - Sadly, it sounds like you are "too"....used to it. And they are too judgmental. I hope you find a happy medium in there somewhere and people who will appreciate you for who you are. It took me a long time to just not really give much of a poo about what people thought about me. Be happy/comfortable with who you are. ; )
Jengsci
Thanks very much, it's really hard for me, I have been fired twice from my jobs because of what I say, I also lost friends because of what I say, even one time I almost got beaten by some guy in a greyhound station because of what I have said.
Jengsci
My tongue just takes me places that I don't want to go to...
My brother always tells me to think before I talk but that's a skill that I still need to learn.
@@manuelcalavera7272 Don't worry too much about that, I have holes in my "brain filter" too. 😁 Most of my friends appreciate what just seems to fall out. I have been fortunate to have found friends like that. They are out there for you too.
How to handle the "I'm sorry for rambling" crowd: keep them talking by saying "then what? What next? Explain. I don't understand.". This will make them feel not only okay with speaking further about their passion but obligated tp suck you in further. You'll have a friend for life.
It's taken me till quite literally this year, at age 29, to meet someone who shows at least a *little* interest in what I'm talking about... it's so new that I've cried more than once talking to her. So yeah, if you've got friends like this, please follow this guy's^ advice. Show some interest, ask questions, get interested in what they're doing. I'm pretty sure I'd throw hands for my friend now, and you may end up with a tight friend yourself that way.
The funny thing is that if someone did this, I'd probably relax and not feel the need to keep filling the silence so much. It'd be nice to have an actual conversation with people.
This exactly. Show them you are interested. Even if the subject might be a bit dull. People love talking about what they are excited for, what they have a passion for. Most people don't get to talk about their passions at length more like oh I really like this because of this and thats it because thats what most people pay attention to then after that its either ignoring or just nodding.
I have an autistic friend, and mostly everyone doesn't care about what he's saying, he loves trains and most of the time when he's speaking it's just facts about crashes and stuff, he used to give presentations but once a girl asked him something about the way he talked and that was the last presentation he did. We have conversations about trains a lot, and he's one of the people who will NEVER judge you for anything. He's really passionate whenever he talks and it's adorable. I'm now adopting him as my brother/j
This means a lot to me reading this. I grew up in a shity household where I could never have an opinion or speak about anything without it turning abusive because of my dad and became a people pleaser even as an adult. So now I always feel bad when I talk about one thing for a little bit longer. I would be so happy if someone talked to me like that because I would just feel accepted and like what I would say matters.🥺❤
You gotta love the people that go, “Why are you depressed? Just *be happy*.”
What an idea! Why didn’t I think of that!
Thank you, Becky. I never considered that mental illness equates to self-destruction. I'll just ✨stop✨
WOW! All my problems are solved now! YAY!
_Welp, we did it boys, suicide is no more_
ah, thanks for fixing all my problems man, appreciate it! why didn't i think of that sooner?
Depression: 📉📉📉
The girl who said “it’s okay, nobody picks me first” I felt that. I hope she’s doing better.
Im one of those guys who try build up relationships with girls, and then get rejectet. Sometimes the girls ask how i feel after they rejectet me and i love the loks i get when i say "i'm actually used to it"
@DJ TH-camr TMJ Idk why, i asked many girls and i even had friends ask for me. The typical responds are "its just you" and "how could someone like you"
Same everyone always picks you when you are the last choice :(
Yea, I always make the first move 🙄 so I think the reason why most girls don’t is because they don’t want to do it first so I guess I always have to do it then 😑 there’s men who have never made the first move in their life but say they do but the girl who always makes the first move dosent get that good job or whatever cuz people assume the guy did it so how about we start assuming the girl made the first move cuz she most likely did
guy i was talking to: Why are you single
me: because everyone goes for my friends
(for context they are both lightskin, mixed girls with curly hair, and i am more darker in skin tone by comparison.)
guy: don't say that. You 're beautiful.
Me: thanks.
honestly to this day i think he only went after me cause my friend was and still is taken otherwise i'm 100% sure he would've went for her.
When corona hits,
"Don't you miss to run outside and meet your friend?"
"It's okay, I used to it. I live like this everyday, corona or not."
Honestly, that's me; corona or not I almost never leave home unless it's to go to school (which I hate because most people there are loud, obnoxious and disrespectful, besides I'm not a morning person and I don't like crowds); and most of my friends moved away, the only one that didn't has a boyfriend so most of the time on school she's with him; and even if I wanted to visit my friends my mom wouldn't let me because either it's s dangerous area, it's too far, and/or she's too tired to drop me there, so it's not like I ever got out with my friends or anything anyways; at least since everyone's home they spend more time online, since school is online and all, so their parents are less strict and everyone's home most of the time, and I get to talk more with them; also now I'm getting to make more friends online because I'm improving my english as well; and I get to go out on my own accord, so I actually take the time to go outside sometimes because I'm not super tired and overestimulated from being in a super loud class trying to make my brain focus on a bunch of boring subjects when I can barely hear the teacher and I just want to take a nap for 4, almost 5, hours straight. The pandemic was actually quite nice excluding the fact that my brain doesn't work really well with online classes and stuff, I absorb the knowledge better either through text or actually having someone explaining this to me, like, presencially
i lived like this before cuz i liked it
My friends were actually the only reason I would socialize. Now I've reverted back to introverted beyond comprehension.
Corona changed nothing for me....
:)
As a person with chronic pain I said “it’s fine, I’m used to it” to everyone who asked if I was okay.
I’m *not* okay.
Same
Chronic pain sucks so much and most people won't understand
@@laurinmohr9810 I’ve had arthritis in my spine since 15, no doctor believed my back pain. I had undiagnosed arthritis until only last year and I’m now 26. It’s debilitating and no one sees you as having an issue of course it’s not visible pain or disability.
SAME. I'm not "okay", but I'm used to it.
@@wmdkitty I will say the same. Deep down I’m slightly terrified that I’ll not be able to handle the pain in another 11 years though.
Doctor: How do you manage your pain
Me: I don’t I simply live with it
Been there, I still do it
Facts
Which in itself is managing your pain
You just... Make room for it. Sometimes you can distract yourself enough to forget it's living with you but as soon as you're alone, as soon as your head hits your pillow to sleep... It reminds you of it's existence.
Been there. Live there. I’m used to some level of constant pain.
Damn. The ADHD one hit me hard. I have ADHD and was diagnosed when I was around 10 yrs old. I’m 17 now. Whenever someone asks me about what I like, I’ve always rambled about it. My mom constantly told me to look at the people around me and take social cues to see if they were listening. Eventually, I just stopped talking about my interests with people, or I’d give them one word answers when asked. This went on for about 6 years and finally, when I was 16 we had a friend come to live with us. She was attending Cal Poly and asked me what I wanted to study in college. I said, “I like music and the performing arts,” and left it at that. Then she started asking me more questions and I could see that she was genuinely interested in what I had to say. She was scrolling through her phone while talking to me but she constantly reassured me that she was listening (nodding, asking questions, giving advice, etc.). My mom came in and saw us having a conversation. She looked at our friend scrolling through her phone and then looked at me talking. She interrupted me and said, “This is what I’m talking about. Taking social cues. You can see she’s not listening. Don’t bore her,” or something along those lines. I immediately shut up and went back to eating my food. The girl had seen my mom do this on multiple occasions and told her that she was in fact listening. She said she noticed how whenever I was talking about something that interested me, my mom would interrupt me, and that she was the only one who ever did that. She had been staying with us for a few months now so she had seen this on a regular basis. I’m so thankful for her, because now my mom does let me speak. Occasionally she’ll interrupt, but that’s just the way she is and I can tell she’s making an effort to listen to what I have to say. Still though, I’m always a bit self conscious when talking to people and I constantly apologize for rambling.
This is great and it's amazing you have someone like this in your life (the girl, not people who aren't interested) I've always been told to take social cues cause I tend to ramble on for ages, it's horrible when you can see someone getting tired of you talking, my friends have a tendency to just walk off. Keep your head up
Can relate. My partner has ADHD too and I am autistic. We both can talk on forever about things that are interesting for us, which lead to problems in the past with other people but we both get excited seeing each other so excited about a subject and things the other enjoys, that we just listen and learn more about what the other likes so much about it or what we learned new about that subject.
Especially when it is about a hobby or interest we don't really share, so we always learn something new from that. And it's just a joy to see him excited and happy.
Same here, but im single. I actually give a damn about others, thats my weakness.
Hey veena, same here. I have some ADHD as well. Was diagnosed quite young. I often ramble to people/talk to myself, even in public. People think im crazy😂 but im just social.
Btw if ur single, hit me up! Id love someone to talk to
Can soo relate. ADHD and Asperger’s.I’ve given serious thought to doing the same. Just not talking about my interests and giving only short simple answers because I feel so crappy about getting excited and rambling about them to the people I talk to.
“oh my god! THEY KILLED KENNY!”
kenny: “it’s ok, i’m used to it”
Shut up and take my like 😂😂😂👌
You get everything for free.
Reson : You made a good Joke about a good show.
You bastards!
@@Victoria-uz2co 😂
@@YouHaveAnApeHead not being mean trynna help reason has a A inbetween the E and S シ︎
Just as heartbreaking as "I'm used to it" can be the opposite "no one's ever..." When I was in adult school there was a lot of weirdos there, cause thats who ends up at adult school, so one day I invited this guy I had gone to regular high school with into our friend group.
He had never NEVER been invited to sit with people.
he had never had anyone offer food to him
he was AFRAID to laugh or even smile.
Turned out he had a really rough home life and just never knew how to socialize, but he was so sweet and polite, it was so amazing watching him come out of his shell. After a while his confidence really grew and he moved on and found friends who had more in common with him. Turned out he was a huge DnD nerd and was able to find fellow fans at school!
That’s so sad, I’m glad that you and him became friends. It sucks so much that things like that happen to people. It’s great that you helped him open up. You’re a blessing.
Thank you so much for friending him.
Im glad it ended well for him...🥺
@@Chaotic_Observer me too
This kind of hits close to home ngl
I just recently told my friends that I‘m not used to people _wanting_ to talk to me, _worrying_ if I don‘t talk to them for a day and _wanting_ to keep a conversation going with me, and thanked them for that. (I always thank people for everything.)
Anyway, thank you for being such a nice human being. You‘re awesome, keep going, we need more people like you in this world 🙏
3:50 I really felt this one. A few years ago I started contributing to family conversations because everyone complained that I was too quiet. And since then, every time I speak or am in the middle of a story, someone interrupts me and starts a new topic. Even my favorite aunt do it, so I just stopped talking. It hurts, but I'm used to it.
Yea I don't bother talking anymore, i used to be pretty loud and kind of a dick when i was a young teen and people didn't interrupt me lol, now that I've grown empathetic and became a lot nicer as i matured people just ignore me and then ask why I'm quiet, it's fuckin maddening
Always thinking youre a part of a group of friends just to see photos of everyone hanging out without you and realising that you were never a part of the friend group to begin with
I kinda was in that situation. I was the kids that sometimes hung around other friend groups to feel like I had friends or at least feel I was in a crowd. But I know somewhere I wasnt apart of any friend group I would tag along with.
@@vaporean_boylove.0w083 literally same. I can't tell you enough how much I relate to this.
I was that guy in the friend group. it’s just the problem was that my overprotective parents never let me hang out so I could never pictures taken or not be included with them... it’s quite sad when I think about it
Felt this before
Wow there actually some people who feel like this including myself.. like... you think about whether you are really friends with them or just an extra.. and then it makes you think that you dont belong anywhere and will probably end up alone in life.
And for example a friend hangs out with you, you had a great time and then leaves you for a couple of weeks which made you feel alone. then another couple of weeks they remembered you and they felt bad for you that they made you feel alone. And your reply is "Its okay, Im used to it."
"It's okay, I'm used to being verbally abused."
Same. All I do now is stare into the distance while people scream at me wich makes people even angrier amd I've started to enjoy pissing off everyone
@@mase8832 Yeah, even though we surrounded ourselves with people we still feel alone in the world.
“The only thing worse then being alone is being around someone who makes you feel alone”
@@mase8832 lol I do the same thing my parents would lose their minds over stupid things example accidently spilling something I work at a grocery store I've had a women literally foaming at the mouth screaming and cussing at me with all her might didn't even phase me just stared at her until the Manger and several employees came to help as she was causing quite the scene issue was we were sold out of a item and she lost her mind at it for some reason I tried to explain it was popular item but to no avail
Okay but imagine that and being cyber bullied because of the content you make and your profile picture when you literally have done *nothing* wrong 😌👍🏻
Once while we were all eating during lunchtime in class, and we were all sharing stories. I almost never have stories to tell and just stay quiet, but a few times a month I want to speak up. Once one of my classmates' stories reminded me of my own, and so I waited until they were finished and tried to tell my own. I was quickly overshadowed by everyone else shouting over me, and so I sat there stuttering like an idiot. I didn't want to interrupt anyone else when they were trying to start their own story.
I started raising my hand to speak, because that always worked in class. It would always take them tens of minutes to notice my hand if they did at all. Once I had a big outburst, like, "I LET YOU TALK. YOU ALWAYS TALK. BUT SOMETIMES I WANT TO TALK. You say, 'But I didn't share a story yet today!' I HAVEN'T SHARED A STORY YET THIS WEEK. NOBODY EVER LISTENS TO ME AND I HATE IT."
After that, my teacher took notice and asked, "How long has this been going on?" By then I had gotten over it, so I sighed and without looking her in the eye, said, "It's okay. I'm used to it." I was on the verge of tears, and felt my face redden of humiliation.
She changed the seating and tried to sit me with my friends, but nobody would be able to hear me over the screams coming from the next table over. Plus, I don't really have anything good to share anyway. Others' stories are more entertaining than mine, so I guess from that I learned to listen instead of try to talk. Talking never gets me anywhere anyway.
You sound like eeyore
Ur amazing. Never firget that.
Maybe make up stories, that’s what I do.
As another quiet person, i can seriously relate to this but ive never gone through any confrontation
What you think isn't good is not necessarily the truth. A good story is different for everyone. Even if you think something in your day is mundane it might be interesting to someone. Like say you live kinda in the boonies of a town and you run across a deer or something. To you that might be boring but to one of your classmates maybe they like deer, or maybe they go hunting and want to see if they can figure out how big it was or maybe they like to take photos of wildlife and they want to know where you were when you found it to see if maybe they could take pictures. Good/interesting has variables to it. Most of it is on the listener. You may not feel that a story is worth telling but almost all of them are interesting to someone.
Non-verbal version: Having fun with a group of friends and someone throws a fake punch or slap (like guy friends tend to do in animated conversation), and someone flinches and covers their head in fear. Followed by uncomfortable silence because we all know what it means.
I'm that friend, even when my bf raises his hand but to do something totally different, but I just laugh it off and I try to make him forget that he saw me flinch
@@maylee5281 Yeh. I had a supervisor I had to do one-on-ones with at work. Sat right beside him while he critiqued one of my calls. Whenever I'd take my eyes off the screen & turn & look him in his eye, he'd raise his hand protectively. Just by looking at him! Made me think he was beaten as a child!
@@phlushphish793 Sometimes it's not even about being beaten, like for me personally it's more of a being scared of being hurt, like sure I did grow up in a household where I'm basically verbally and emotionally abused but I didn't get physically abused, just whenever I actually did something wrong, but I'm scared like all the time of it. Always paranoid when I'm around people and it sucks but it's ok I'll be better one day !!
@@maylee5281 Same, boyfriend and everything. He'll reach up to caress my face or something and I'll flinch and close my eyes but wasn't physically abused either rlly I just witnessed a lot of abuse in my household growing up and verbal abuse towards me happened as well
I flinch all the time, but people just laugh at me for it, so I laugh, too. It only feels naturally to laugh with others, even if it makes me cry afterwards. Me and my sister got into serious fights and she hits me a lot. If I so much as slap her on the shoulder (not a serious slap, but a shmedium slap), she bangs my head. I always tell her it’s not fair, she should hit me where I hit her, but she says “you shouldn’t have touched me in the first place, you’re stupid.”
But, maybe because I think everyone is angry at me all the time, I flinch. I always think I did something wrong. Today in class, some kids came in, telling them I gave them a link to the class. The teacher did not listen and yelled at me, saying I shouldn’t do that, but I emailed one of the kids earlier and he said that they blamed it on me so they didn’t get there friend in trouble. They are only seventh graders, so I didn’t say anything about it, but they made me second guess for a really long time if I had sent them the email. In my email talking about it, I apologized that it had even happened that I somehow gave them the link, and he said no, it was my friend. I still apologized after that for making a long ass email that no one wants to read, but I’m glad I got clearance.
I second guess myself easily. I can say “I have a blue pencil.” And someone can just say “are you sure?” Or “really?” And I’ll be dumbfounded. Like, idk, do I?
Is that a bad thing? I can’t tell.
Working in a pizza place, someone bumped into a cook and he burnt himself inside the oven. "It's okay, I'm used to it." He was Jewish and we all stared at him until he realized what he said and clarified, "The burn, not being pushed into ovens..."
It’s absolutely terrible but I laughed just because it must have been so awkward
lmao
Momento XD
i- 💀dead
Jesus christ, took me a few seconds to go from "oh shit" to "Oh, shit haha"
I had a friend that had autism and he kept talking and it did get on my nerves a lot but I didn't say anything about it because almost everyone told him to shut up, even the teachers said it, so I think he felt like I was the only friend he had because everytime we went on a field trip he would pair up with me.
I have a friend like this
Yeah, I don’t have autism as someone with ADHD who’s pretty much considered ‘the class clown’ or ‘the annoying one’ most of the time. It’s hard to make genuine friends because most of them just get really uncomfortable with the fact I talk constantly. I don’t really think of the fact I’m annoying them or not letting them speak, I’m just explaining what I’m thinking. Most of the times I don’t notice it’s annoying for people until they say it themselves and avoid me from there on out, so it’s nice you were able to tolerate it for his sake
"There's a time and place for everything" -Professor Oak
As you'd know: they're using you as an outlet for their ranting because no one else lets them. Sometimes it's important to let them know that you may have something to say as well so they get into the habit of not ranting *too* long, but also at times let them rant because it's a sign that someone values them and their thoughts.
Sometimes a long rant is understandable because it's filled with facts or opinions that can't be shortened any further, but some people who like ranting haven't compacted their essay enough that the majority is useless information, which is a waste of time compared to an ecstatic speech about their hobbies and why they like it. (They're too interested in their own voice or their thoughts that they forget their surroundings).
Being told by family not to talk about my suicidal thoughts or depression but being expected to somehow walk them through their emotional issues. It's okay, I'm (mostly) used to it. The worst moments are when I finally break down weeks later, not because my mental health is in tatters, but because I have to apologize and I feel guilty for breaking down.
OMG my family is the same. Whenever I talk about being depressed my family tells me to think positive or stop being so negative. But we can't even get through dinner without them bringing up grandma dying. It was two months ago. :/
Bruhhhh
I don’t really have a situation like that, but when I was like six I tried to ask my dad about bullying, I had been being ridiculed by people at school and/or I think we might’ve had a bullying presentation that day so it was on my mind?? idk and so I brought up people saying mean things (in general, I don’t think it was specific to me) and he responded, “have you ever heard the saying, ‘sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you’? That’s true”
Completely invalidated my feelings on the matter and the feelings of every kid who’s ever been verbally bullied
Completely invalidated the issue
Broke my trust completely and I’ve never opened up to my parents since
I don’t have much trust in adults now :/
I trust my mom more and I feel like I might tell her more if my dad didn’t exist and/or wasn’t the way he is, but I still keep everything to myself
@@BizarreAndrogynous bro that sucks 😔
But yeah people don’t understand depression (I don’t think I’ve ever been fully there, but I’ve felt super crappy before, like when I literally had no close friends for the entire first three years of elementary school and then when I had a best friend the years after that but then she would schedule her recesses during the week for different friend groups and I’d be left alone to wander around and read and dig in the dirt. I think loneliness and feeling like a complete and utter outcast is pretty similar, correct me if I’m wrong) and then they think it’s just that you’re wallowing in sadness of your own accord when really it’s your brain chemistry screwing with your emotions. You can’t just “be happy,” like you can’t just flip a switch in your brain and bring your brain chemistry back into balance.
I hate when people don’t take depression seriously :/
Aaaand there’s a lot I want to say but that little voice in my brain just said, “if this gets as long as it will if you keep going like this then it’s going to sound annoying and condescending like you’re being like the people you’re annoyed at and acting like you understand everything”
:’)
Idk I just don’t want to hurt or offend anyone or make any assumptions about people and sometimes I feel like I’ll ramble on and then end up seeming insensitive and ignorant and I don’t want to hurt people like that and shit there I go talking about myself again
Anyway I hope both of yours’ situations get better and that your families become more understanding of what depression is and more aware that they’ve been sidelining your emotions and mental health and that that’s not okay
Best of luck 😊
(And crap that emoji seems insincere. It isn’t I swear I’m just trying to express that I care :P)
This hits so close to home, but now I just never talk to my parents about my problems and ignore theirs. Please hang in there
Hey!!! This is really, really, important: Please read this!! (and anyone else who relates)
In case you didn't know, what your parents are doing is *not okay!* It's a type of emotional neglect (abuse), called emotional parentification (also called: covert incest, or sometimes an enmeshed relationship between parent and child). I went through the same thing with my parents, except I didn't have suicidal thoughts myself (though smth like it), but it still absolutely sucked. When later on traumatic things happened and I was in need of support, I was still on my own and developed severe burnout.
Please, please *please* know that what they're doing is *not* okay. They have an obligation to help lead you through how to handle problems like *_your_* emotional issues, not make you handle theirs. It's absolutely wrong, and it's a switch of the roles you should have as parent and child, completely inappropriate for someone who hasn't finished growing and is in need of support (young children cannot properly handle even their own feelings well. Making them handle their parents' as well is overburdening them which may lead to lots of negative effects for the child).
Depending on what country you live in, there may exist anonymous help-lines that you can call or message. I was in the exact situation as you before, and let me tell you getting professional help (for me under the guise of the burnout) is an ENORMOUS help, and absolutely worth it! I'm still a minor but it literally helped me survive. Wishing you all the best. If you see this and have any questions I'll try to answer as best as I can!
The interruption one hit too close to home. When I was in elementary school, and sometimes still now, I would unknowingly get louder when I was happy or talking about something I enjoyed. I can't count how many times my mother or my best friend at the time told me to either "be quiet", "stop talking", or "lower the volume you're too loud." That hurt so bad as a child because I felt like I was doing something wrong and I would apologize for being happy and for something I couldn't and can't control.
Same😢..I just has naturally loud voice but my parents are literally the quiet type of person..I still trying to lower my voice even im already 20..I dont even think my loud voice will disappear ever
I have ADHD too and I get that a lot. I'd meet new friends and when conversations become really fun I start talking too much again then stop voluntarily and apologize. They'd tell me they really find me interesting and wanted me to go on but I couldn't cause I already felt too insecure and thought they were just being nice.n
@@plsarguewithme2665 you had great friend...I love people who is really talkactive and im certain your friend love your personality too😊
Same. I'm easily excitable and tend to go on rants about things I'm passionate about. My parents either didn't have an interest in what I said or couldn't keep up with it, so they'd usually shut me down. I'd do the same thing to other kids but it just kinda chased them away because my interests didn't really match with kids my age. My grandma though, she'd let me ramble as long as I wanted. Even if she didn't understand or couldn't contribute to the conversation, she'd let me get it out of my system and never shut down my excitement. I rambled about the legend of zelda for upwards of 2 hours while I was swimming and she just sat there and listened! I'm sorry grandma, haha! Thank you for letting me be myself! You'll never know how much that meant to me ❤️
And that is the reason I stopped talking about things I enjoy
The one about all the people saying “wow I didn’t even know they had a sibling” after about 5 people saying it I would have bursted out crying screaming and made an announcement to everyone to get the hell out
Yeah because it's so mature to do that in the funeral of your own fucking younger sibling. Are you nuts? If you ever find yourself in that situation then that means you need to be more involved in family gatherings or get to know and interact with your family's friends. Being noticed doesn't come inherently with being just there, you need to make people remember you. If you can't get people to do so, and all of the people on the funeral don't know how she was, that tells me something about her and her social skills. Grow up. Take responsibility.
@@chaizan9733 i dont know whats up with you man but expecting a kid to be socially active around adults and blaming them because nobody knows them is something i couldnt even begin to describe how bad that is. Some kids might be more socially active than others, but a parent shouldnt expect their kids to go out into the adult world and start making a name for themselves because, well, they're a kid.
In other words, you shouldn't be a parent, and if you are and with a mindset like that, then you're probably a bad one.
Edit: if you want your kids to be known then you gotta introduce them, because who else would, not the kids that's for sure, because why would they.
I remember the amount of times I've told some classmates that I have siblings then they go "Oh I thought you were an only child"
Bruh
I've barely ever met my father's side of the family coz he died when I was a 9month old, so when my paternal grandfather died we attended the wake and _all of them_ called me by my two sisters's names. If I'm lucky they remember my name eventually, but most of them asked me "what's your name again?" to my face. And yeah it's sad that they don't know me, but it can't really be helped. Besides, I barely know them either.
Yeah that would probably be a breaking point.
"I would only strike a significant other if thats what they're into."
Almost spurted out my sparkling water at that one.
Good. Sparkling water is terrible.
@@classydays43 you sir have obviosly havent tried sparkling water and White wine
@@classydays43 ok buddy, we're gonna have a problem
@@classydays43 exactly.
@@classydays43 shut up luv❤️
When my favourite teacher asked; 'You haven't had a lot of compliments in your life, have you?' when i was 16
I was bullied for almost my entire childhood
Welcome to the world of bullying, I feel so sad that so many people still experience some of the stuff that I went through as a kid, I just hope that you are now in a good place and being loved and happy.
@@NoName-hv7xn
I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope the same for you, I wish you the best in life from here on out
@@simonedegroot905 Thank you 😊
You're not the only one i was bullied for 8 year in middle school and many people have the same problem stay strong.
Look, I was miserable sack of potatoes too, and what I remember from time I was bulied is that I was weak, self-centred a$$hole "know it all" , and only when I started changing for better (being more open, genuine, outgoing and overall put more effort into hobby and work) people started respecting me! You can be better than you are now, just put effort into it!
The interrupting one. I am used to it, so I usually just shut up a listen to the other person. It really sucks mostly because my memory sucks, so if someone was interested in what I was saying, and I didn’t get far enough for the idea to spark back into my head, the conversation will never happen.
However, once, my friend had me hanging with her other friends. I was going to tell a story, but her friends interrupted me. I stopped talking, and my friend piped up, “He what? You can’t just end a story like that, Sol.”
i am similar i grew up with 8 siblings so if i can hear myself i think im talking to loud and i was having a conversation with my sisters bf once telling jokes and bantering as we do, and she starts talking (very loudly) so i just shut up and wait, and then when we got to their apartment she complained that we always talk over her, and honestly i cant im so used to just being interrupted by people who talk louder than me i just dont talk anymore
I accidentally said "I am so ugly" Infront of my younger cousin and he replied back "Finally you said it, you're ugly" hahah lol
Awwww :((( they have an ugly attitude
Same, except it’s with my friends.
Better them be honest that bullshit you
@@cj-be6ow :(
Is your cousin above the age of 10? cause if so I personally believe you can bitch slap them.
This is making me remember how freaking sad my childhood actually was
Same bro
I hate to admit it but same.
I can’t lol, I’ve repressed most of it.
same mate, same
@@st-ew8337 fuck... hits hard af
6:40 as an autistic person I can relate. I know I come across as selfish and self centred but I just really like talking about my characters and interests. I also often ramble about the good stuff that’s happened to me or vent a lot. I know my infodumping gets on people’s nerves so I’m super scared to do it most of the time.
Same pal. I'm often told I'm "rambling" and people always accuse me of "having an attitude"
Speech therapy sucked as well, because i got mocked for certain things (my speech patterns, my interests, etc.)
You seem pretty great! Continue making those characters and have fun doing it!
-from a fellow autistic character creator
I’m the exact same way. I’m honestly so scared of making my co workers uncomfortable with my rambling that I just wear headphones so that I’m not tempted to talk to anyone at the office
Dude I relate to you so much. It’s like I know people are fine with me but I always feel like I’m being rude.
It's really sad how many people deal with the constant pain that comes with being interrupted, and feeling like no one cares about what you say! 😔
Society: you think talking to strangers is ok???
Me: we live in a society
There's this one guy in an organisation I volunteer with who seems to have noticed how often this happens to me, and that what I have to say is usually relevant and useful if people will hear me out. He will wait for the next gap in the conversation and then go "sorry Polly, what were you saying?". Basically forces the rest of the group to acknowledge I was talking and listen to what I have to say. I really appreciate that guy 😁
They don’t.
The easy way out is to be anti-social, but if you want to move up the company ladder you gotta learn how to control conversations.
@@pollyrg97 Another trick is to drop something in your hand to catch a lull in the conversation. Or you can use it to escape the conversation.
This happened a while ago. So, basically, the teacher was asking the class some questions. When it was my turn, the teacher won't stop scolding my classmate becuase he was talking/ interruption. Since she was yelling, I decided to say "Don't worry, I'm used to it" to calm her. The whole class looked at me with pity.
I throught it was normal-
Woah, yeah... Me too man. Your not alone! I was really active person in class on my favourite subject, but sometimes whenever i tried to answer or speaking up those typical tik-tok and mean girls group class always interrupting me. Shitty high school, and toxic classmates but hey at least i got experience with those people.
@Mason Curtis Apparently no
I was pretty active in school, bur gradually i became passive because of my chronic insecurities. I'm too scared to say anything because someone would always say something uncomfortable whenever i say something
me with anyone who isn't one of my three friends, I honestly feel lucky, truly lucky, to have that many friends.
I think is not normal, not even in my clases that sort of things happened
My girlfriend would always say “it’s fine. I’m used to it.” towards being sexually assaulted and abused by other people. Broke my heart to hear, and I always do whatever I can to stop it.
Got rejected when i asked a girl out, she was shocked when I said "it's ok. I'm used to it"
. I've been rejected ten thousand times. Literally. Some women like you some don't. Work on yourself and keep trying. By that I mean workout, do fun stuff, be yourself and be unapologetic about it. You will attract women for sure
@@samiamgreeneggaandham i don't have that problem anymore. Since I came back from Basic in 2017, I'm more confident then I was in high school. Been lifting heavy and looking good. So i shed the Incel/simp phase and went dom. Now I have more women in my life then I know what to do
@@justinnguyen2605 well, then I'm very glad to hear that you have found the light. Women want nothing more than a man who is going to be able to be a man and be himself and be confident and, if need be be the one who takes control and situations they can't handle. It's not a sexist thing it's just a fact. I am glad you have changed your ways and I hope you keep it up
At some point you will find someone. Everyone has that special someone out there.
@@samiamgreeneggaandham sucks when your friends go up well knows guys and tell them you like them as a "joke" then proceed to laugh when they call you ugly. Im used to it, and its just their opinion. It kinda sucks to be constantly reminded your ugly for years until you dont care anymore.
I went over to my friends house for a night; we barely get to, so it was really exciting. He has complained about his parents in the past, but always in a joking way, I never really took it serious. When we got to his house, which was really close to our school, so we walked there, as soon as he opened the door his grandmother said “Angel?!” (Angel was his name), in a really angry voice, as if he had done something bad. To be honest, she scared the life out of me. When she saw me, she immediately changed her tone and said “Oh, you must be Angels friend, what’s your name? How are you?”, which made Angel give her a really annoyed expression that practically screamed “Oh, whatever!”. After making me answer a ton of questions, his grandma let us off to go to his room and do whatever shit we wanted. He had a huge backyard, so we decided to go play something outside. We were playing music, because, well you know, music is cool. When his mom comes out and says “Why the hell are you blasting music?! Play something better or turn it off!!” Then she came to greet me. I told her we were sorry about the music, but she just said “No you’re fine, Angel just doesn’t know better.” that kind of made me a little angry, she didn’t know it was him yet she blamed him when I apologized? That’s real unfair. So I told her “It was my idea to play it, don’t blame him.” She ignored what I said and turned back to Angel which frustrated me so much. Like she was purposely trying to get him in trouble! She yelled at him saying “Hey turn off the damn music and go to your room!!” Turned back to me and said, “Okay honey, you guys are gonna go play in his room alright? If you want to play some music that’s fine just don’t turn the volume to loud, haha!”. By then I really wanted to yell at her, but knew I couldn’t. Angel was clearly angry as well, but was visibly trying his best to hold it in while we walked upstairs to his room. When we got to the room he said “I need to tidy up a bit, so stay here real quick.” I understood the cleaning thing, I always do it last minute when friends come over, so I didn’t think anything of it. He closed the door, a few seconds pass, and then I hear a muffled cry. I literally felt like crying too, after hearing that. There were soft thuds, like he was hitting a pillow or something, that honestly hurt me. He made an excuse to let out his frustration while I wasn’t facing it. He was there for a few minutes, then it was just silence. I stood in front of the door just looking down, knowing what was happening behind it. He opened the door, wiped his face and said “So what do you wanna do?”. I couldn’t let him deal with that by himself, so I asked him if he was okay. He looked surprised, like he really didn’t know I could hear him. He said “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have overreacted, don’t worry about it.”. I told him “No, you aren’t fine, so tell me what’s wrong. You shouldn’t let your mom treat you so unfairly!” Then he said “Really dude, it’s good! *I’m used to it anyway* “. After that, I frequently asked him to come over to my house instead of going to his, so he didn’t have to deal with that as often. We don’t talk much anymore, but I really hope he is doing better.
Dang that’s long-
I really do hope your friend is doing better!
@@bbludacious Yeah, we’ve been talking more often! He’s doing great, he actually started therapy. Thanks for the concern, and for reading that novel up there, haha!
Damn man that sucks at least he's good now I'm suffering from that as well when I need help for school my dad just say do it yourself or I'm busy but when my older sister does even if he's visually busy he still helps her and he said to other people he treat us equally but once they gone back to normal so he just likes my older sister more than me and when he saw my grades are low he was mad and when I said its he's fault for not helping me he still blamed me for not studying hard well then how tf could I study more if I can't even understand without your help
@@afightingcactus4617 Shit, man, that’s tough. I’d say try tutoring or speaking with your teachers after class for help, or even ask a classmate. My friend’s grandma passed away, which hit his family pretty hard and they became more soft-spoken people. That was the main reason he started therapy. I’m not fully informed with what place your in, but I recommend therapy. It really helped my bud out, so I trust it’ll do the same for you :)
@@trappozoiid man I don't even have face to face in the Philippines cause it's fucked so yeah I can't get help from teachers or friends and I just got raised like that so yeah I'm used to it most of my pictures is just fake smiles that I need to do to not get yelled at for not smiling so only one human being got me to show real happiness and it's my online crush that became my gf
one time i was talking about my hyperfixation to a friend (which usually, gets people to tell me to shut up or ignore me) and i was like "oh sorry ive been talking a lot", and my friend said "no its okay, i love hearing you talk about stuff you like!" and i was so stunned that a minute later i made an excuse to go to the bathroom and i cried, that was the first (and only) time in my life i cried from happiness
One time something on my body was hurting and my friend asked if I was okay and I accidentally told her that it was okay, I'm used to pain. I have a disease called fibromyalgia (harmless but hurts like hell) accompanied by hypersensitivity which came from fibromyalgia. Back then my mom not being there emotionally and just wanting me to stop complaining about pains made me feel really insecure about all of my pain. My brother made fun of me for always being in pain (his type of humor) and my dad was always working so it was hard to talk to him. My parents never told me but they ralked with the school nurse and they made a decision that everything I felt was either me faking it to get out of class or my emotions turning physical. One time after class during recess (elementary school) I asked to go to the nurse. She got angry or something and told me I can't keep faking it to get out of class. I was 7 or 8. I think. I just cried in front of her. I don't remember what happened but I think she let me go to the nurse. I thought it was normal and that everyone felt things like I did. A whole into middle school I finally tell my dad that I think I have fibromyalgia. This took me years of courage to say and he just didn't believe me. We went to the doctor and they tested my blood for lymes and tested for leukemia. I was neither. This doctor heard about this and I told her I self harmed but that was way back at that point. She did this little test thing asking me if I could wish for anything, what would it be. I answered with one wish then said I couldn't think of anything. Then she just said to my face that I was depressed. I was actually in a time where all my struggles of life were much much lighter and I had told her this. Now I am diagnosed with depression instead of my disease I have and it just hurts in every way. That doctor betrayed me. They wouldn't listen to me and there were so many signs I had this disease. My dad after I told him what It Houghton but before I ent to the doctor got angry at me when I complained about some of my pain. It made me hurt so bad inside and out. I tried telling one of my friends but they weren't listening to me. When I got into highschool I told dad that I've been having tics. I had tourettes and still do. He didn't believe me and actually thought I was having seizures by the way the tic was (depsite me saying it wasn't a seizure). My dad told me my emotions lined up with when I tell him about these things but of course I'd be angry or sad before telling him, it took so much courage to even think about it and it was a depressing thing to me. I'm scared I'll be disabled because of pain. My dad told me to go to a therapist so then I went. His wishes is that I become the sweet little angle I used to be after I go but I never changed, it was my dad who has been changing. He's went through a lot. He is often not happy. Now days I am often happy. My dad refuses to think i actually have a disease or tourettes. He is making me depressed. I talk to my mom still but I hate every moment of it. I'm hoping the therapist can help me get diagnosed with ADHD at least so I can focus more in school. ADHD is also a sign of Tourettes so it might help me. I can prove my dad and brothers wrong if I get diagnosed.
What is bad is that this is only half of my problems and I feel kind of miserable about it sometimes.
Sorry for ranting but I feel kinda desperate ot be heard.... sorry, again.
Many doctors don't believe Fibromyalgia is a real thing. Research it on your own and try self treating as much as you can. We are lucky to have the internet to help with issues like this nowadays! You know what hurts, don't let them say it's just your emotions.
Im so sorry what ur going through 😢 but its ok it *will* be okay.
Millica Nikolic is right u should talk to others about struggle if u dont its gonna hurt u inside.
There's so many people out there that u can talk about ur problems it maybe hard to talk to them face to face but trust me u will feel a bit better
After u talk to somebody ur empty heart will fill in a lil bit
Just talk to somebody about it or u can just keep update in this comment section we will help u! 😊
U had no idea how strong with pain ache on ur body and also becuz no one believes and thats very strong of u! 😊
If u wanna talk to somebody u can keep update in this comment if u want or talk to someone else!
The world is not always cruel! 😊
Stay strong Muffin!
Edit: I found ur playlist song that makes u feel (sorry if that made u uncomfortable i just wanted to know if u made any videos or something😂😂) and u kinda remind of my friend she has been deppression before becuz all of her bestfriend always move and she gets lonely plus i bet she watches a lot of the list songs u here like a lot of Creepy Pasta! 😊
Yeah i made uncomfortable didnt i.. *face palm*
(I'm assuming on this whole post that you're still in high school. Also, long comment warning.)
I have Tourette Syndrome and had depression from a previous medication I had for the former. Both are very hard, even when you have support. I didn't have support for my depression (I had plans to die if my last effort to fix things didn't work), but I've had support for tics and eventual Tourette Syndrome all of my life, and it still takes a toll on me. I honestly don't think I'd be around had I not had support and been generally accepted for this, as I have been plagued by paranoia and low self-confidence as long as I can remember. I feel for you.
I have several recommendations, all of which sing the same tune: get help. Help can come from many places. You could get it from a relative in your extended family, a trusted teacher, a school nurse (I assume you have a different one now), a counselor, a doctor, a therapist, even the principal or any other school professional you wouldn't normally interact with. Talking to a friend (a different one than you mentioned) can help in terms of emotional support, but the main thing you need is for someone to advocate for you, and a friend from school cannot do that for you. When you talk to your therapist, the first thing you should ask is what their mandatory reporting policy is. This is what obligated them to break confidentiality and report what you said in favor of your safety or the safety of others. If they don't mention it, make sure to also ask if anything you say will be shared with your parents - some therapists don't share anything outside of mandatory reporting because it works best, but others believe that, as your guardians, your parents have a right to anything you say. Knowing these two things will help you figure out how much you should trust your therapist, which I think is especially important given that you've trusted so many other people that have broken your trust. After knowing these things, tell as much of what you said in your comment that you are comfortable with sharing. As I said before, you need an advocate, and a therapist can be a good advocate. I don't remember if therapists can diagnose neurological disorders, but they can at least send a referral to a neurologist for your tics.
That's another thing I just thought of: don't go to a family physician for your tics. I had a good experience with my pediatrician because she knew what she was doing and my mother had experience with tics from my brother, but family physicians are not always qualified to diagnose or not diagnose a neurological disorder. The best thing you can do is see a neurologist yourself or get a referral to see one (in case that's what your parents need to take you). Make sure to also look at the reviews of neurologists in your area because neurologists have a tendency to get cocky and self-centered because of their field and will not listen to their patients in one way or another. Again, not my experience, but my brother had a neurologist that refused to talk to my mother because of her gender and the other just had terrible bedside manner in general, so I had to see traveling neurologists or neurologists 8 hours away because the other two were the only pediatric neurologists and my mother didn't want to put me through that.
I apologise for the long post. I know many people don't like long posts and I tend to write more in my comments than the average bear. However, your situation hurt me deeply and I wanted to help you in any way that I can. The last thing I can think of now is to not only find an advocate, but be your own advocate. You have clearly done a lot of research and you know what you need. Scream your needs if you must. Next time your parents try to say you're fine and you're taking it, use psychology against them. Straight up tell them they're gaslighting you (yes, they are - they're trying to convince you that your pain and your experiences are falsified, which is manipulation into accepting a false reality, which is gaslighting). Ask them why you would lie about pain for years for attention when you're not even getting any attention because no one believes you because they keep telling everyone you're lying. Tell them how much it wounds you (say words like "wound" instead of "hurt," too - opting for less-used synonyms of common feelings adds severity in your statement) that they, your parents, who are supposed to be there in your times of need, who are supposed to be the ones screaming your needs to skeptics, are the ones telling you, their child, and everyone else who might give a damn, that you're faking your pain, your depression, everything. Tell them exactly what you need, when you need it, and why. Try not to start a fight because that will make things worse. If they get angry, stay calm at all costs. If it were me and I want fighting a panic attack, I would then ask why their child asking for help in their struggles makes my parents angry just to guilt-trip then, but that would probably start a fight. I'm used to it and the emotional toll and I have become somewhat manipulative when it comes to telling someone (mostly my mother - funny how she is a hard advocate for my physical ailments, but not for anything emotional, especially when she's the cause) how they've failed me emotionally because of years of being failed, so I'd do it anyway, but you may not want to.
If you have any questions or just need to rant some more, I'm here. I can try to get figure out a way to chat somewhere other than a public comment chain. I'm particularly knowledgeable about TS, tics, and treatment for both, so I can provide info on that if you need it. I could probably think of more stuff to say, but it's 1:35 AM where I live and I really should have gone to bed an hour ago. I just had to respond to you with what I could think of immediately because you seemed like you needed some sort of help, even if it was just someone caring enough to try to help. I hope your parents acknowledge your pain soon, or that you won't have to rely on them for much longer. I wish you well.
hey, i know i may not be much help, but i wish you the best i and i hope that you can find support from the right people, get a proper diagnosis from a good doctor, get the proper treatment and life a more comfortable and less depressed life. I wish you well young soul
I am so sorry you have to go through stuff like that
one of my cousin has been diagnosed with torretes another one has SPD
(sensory processing disorder, I have it to but not as bad still sucks tho-) and Both me and my sister have
dislexa (as you can probably tell from my spelling) and she has ADHD and I have shown signs of ADHD (not diganosed though
I am hopping to be offically Diagnosed with SPD and be tested for ADHD and Autism which are often mistaken/common with SPD but I live in the UK and covid so it might be a while)
but yeah we are kinda of a fricked up family and luckily most people do believe that I have certain conditions
but some don't, and it really does suck!
I have this thing where when I run my throat feels like its being skinned it hurts to run and only
recently did my mom believe me and my dad still doesn't believe me and he thinks I am just trying to
get out of running when it actually does really Hurt and I don't like to run cause it hurts!!!
but he doesn't believe me which is really frustrating
so I can't imagine how you must feel!! I hope one day you're dad and everyone will find out the truth
and you will get diganosed!! I really really do I feel so bad that must be horrible!! But don't give up
your so strong going through all this without any help or medicine or anyone that even understands!!!
and One day soon it will get better!!!
Friend of mine described what a typical day of his looks like (basically just sleeping his life away in crippling depression), I suggested he did something about it and he gave me the "I'm used to it" answer. Fucking hurts to see a friend like that.
It may help to tell him that it would mean a lot to you if he did talk to a medical professional about it. There is unfortunately a huge amount of social bias against men (or those perceived as male) seeking help for health problems, but especially mental health problems.
It's definitely not your job nor responsibility to convince him to get help, but sometimes it can help to have someone that pushes them to get help.
@@alchemysaga3745 Indeed, I did try that some time ago and while he never actually seeked professional help, he at least opened up a little to us and I think it helped a little. That was some time ago though, and now he's back to this same lifestyle. I've been to both ends of depression (having depressed friends or family, and being depressed myself) so I know it's basically impossible to help someone if they're not open to being helped. Still, it's frustrating...
Have him learn to lucid dream then he could escape using the dreams whenever he sleeps
Lucid dreams - u know you’re dreaming (while dreaming) and u can pretty much manifest anything just by thought even deceased loved ones and being back in your childhood home that u moved out of
Only issue is he may become more depressed with dreams being better then reality
With me though I had a couple thefts of things that meant a lot to me it’s caused depression
Well in my lucid dreams I’m able to prevent the thefts yeah it doesn’t do a thing in reality but it’s a way for my mind to heal from the loss
"It's okay. I'm used to it. No one ever picks me first," really gave me a heartache. You're not alone.
Shit. Nobody picks me at all, she's doing better than me.
She isn't the first and won't be the last, its sad and overly common too. I am not most peoples first choice as a partner either.
. . . I rather have a broken Heart, then Break one, I am used to being miserable, but I get never used to hurting others, they deserves better, but pretending I am Not aroace and lie to them will Not Help them either
For me its verbal abuse, physical, being ignored, talked over, never listened to, and always left out. Being rejected, having everyone make fun of the scars on my face and my nose, being made fun of for being ugly, watching pets tragically pass way before their time, having my stuff taken/broken, being by myself and having "friends" badmouth me to others behind my back, being judged for being "Emo", being the "outcast" of my family, not being able to afford things I want, being belittled for Depression, losing things I like/love/are close to me. ..I'm definitely not "used to it." It still sucks bad and is very depressing and makes me lose Faith, Hope, and the will to smile.
Stay strong 💚💚 I can relate to you very much!
I hope it gets better! :):) To everyone else who's dealing with the same thing too, I hope the situation of things will be brighter!
I'm sending you lots of hugs, head pats, cookies and wishes that despite all of those bad things happening to you, you'll still grow out to be a very happy person in life and then you would tell your life, "Take that!"😊😊🍪🍪🍩🍫🍭🍮🍰🍦🍨🍧
i understand how bad this is for you as i went through the same things and i still am but please stay strong and don't give up
this is _exactly_ my issue
I'm used to getting yelled at for small mistakes thanks to my dad, so I have a feeling that someone is gonna do that, later apologize, and I'll just respond with "It's cool, I'm used to it."
My dad yells at me even if I don't do anything
@@owyemen9367 big mood bro
I don't say 'I'm used to it.' I just apologise preemptively everytime I do or say anything beyond sit quietly.
Better safe than sorry.
Thought its only me
I literally went through it a few minutes ago. Can’t wait to live on my own
I made my stoic boss cry. When I told her I was diagnosed with 2 terminal diseases, and cancer, all within 6 weeks, had to have emergency surgery, and would be out of work for 8 weeks in recovery. She looked worried, and I said "it's ok, I'm used to it." Then she cried and hugged me. It really hit me then that it's not ok. But I made it through the cancer and surgery. Now I have at best 18 years left. I just turned 30.
20:45 the one about the cat,, when they called the cat their "little buddy" I literally teared up. That shit is just so goddamn sad and wholesome I just-
Oh yeah. I've threatened someone with horrific violence for threatening to take my cat.
He wasn't expecting the situation to go 0-100 like that, and nearly fell over while backing away apologizing.
When I was a kid a friend of mine was telling me that a friend of hers kissed her and she rejected him as nicely as possible. She was crying because she hated herself for not reciprocating. She said to me "I know exactly what it's like because I've been there and I've done things like that. I hated feeling rejected when I put myself out there. I don't want to hurt my people I love." I hugged her and told her she was a good person and they'd understand.
I knew they'd understand because a year earlier she rejected me. She wasn't just talking to me. She was talking about me. She was giving me an explanation for her rejection which was something she didn't need to do. I felt very bad for hurting her because I didn't know I did.
It's ok. It isnt anyone's fault. Sometimes the feelings just arent there. Dont blame yourself
"How sad, how he tells my girl not to trust me. That's okay, I'm used to it."
My boyfriend, the human I trust the most on earth. That was sad.
For me, it was when a man said about a coworker, "Is it hard focusing on your job when she's working with you? I don't think I could focus with that beauty."
And, "It's too bad she's married or I would totally hit that." Both times, she was standing right there and heard all of it. She said it's okay because she's used to it since it's happened since high school. I went and asked my boss how I should respond when they say stuff like that because I want to tell them to fuck off, but I didn't know if I should just nod and pretend they aren't gross. He said the safety and comfort of his employees comes before the customers and we can tell them to go and if they do it again, say they aren't welcome back. It was a big deal because it made her feel very uncomfortable and with how creepy they were, made her feel unsafe which I understood. They also talked like that to a sixteen years old girl and asked if she'd be interested when she was of age. I wanted to jump over the counter and punch the shit out of them because, as you hopefully know, pedophilia is beyond disgusting and creepy and he tried to lure her away from the counter.
You are a good man. Most women are "used to it", but that doesn't make it okay. When you are alone, it can be downright scary too because you never know if it's just talk or if they'll try something.
Bro you have 10 times more control than I ever will. I have and never will tolerate that behavior towards my friends or people I care about.
If that was me I would pistol whip them
My “It’s okay, I’m used to it” is people forgetting I existed (purposefully or not) and leaving me out. And being lonely a lot, though I’m a little less lonely nowadays
I feel you i still have the same problem and people talk over me and cut me off alot but im used to it you Just got to stay strong so stay strong and dont let people BRING you down.
Same here. 😔
Same here and for me I guess it's purposefully all my life.
tbh people forget i exist a lot of the time in school lol
this one struck deep, i didn't have a lot f friends in primary school and had on and off bullying throughout those seven years so now that i'm naturally quiet i feel like i'm only ever invited to stuff if i was there when it was talked about haha
My online friend was being abused at home, and when someone asked about the abuse, she said "I'm used to it"
My last boyfriend was emotionally abusive and controlling. When this new guy I’ve been seeing does something simple like apologize for hurting my feelings instead of gaslighting me into thinking I’m wrong is a big deal to me because that’s not what I’m used to. It’s a weird feeling
Classic narcissist
Leaving your old boyfriend and making him realize he can’t control u anymore was the best choice and the best way to get back at him I bet he’s PISSED but he should move onto someone else so he can get narcissistic supply fix and forget about u
@@howtowithelizabeth7513 I'll tell you one thing, no one has to get used to, nor accept being emotionally, or verbally abused by their mates or spouses, period.
ADHD person who likes to talk about their interest, but stops talking after a while and apologizes. My daughter is autistic and does the same thing. You get her started talking about her interests and she can go on for hours, but after living a certain roommate for a few years, she also got to the "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm rambling." and shuts up, even though she is really enthusiastic, animated and very knowledgeable about all aspects of her favorite interests. Since she moved back home, I have been working on letting her know she can talk to me, but needs to pay attention to what I am doing. Talking about it in the car when we are going on one of our adventures is the PERFECT time to tell me all about some new thing she discovered or what improvements she found out would work for the home she is designing. Interrupting me at WORK, however, is NOT a good time to try and involve me in a conversation. :o) We are working it out.
oh my god. I literally thought that it was just me. i have the exact same problem, in regards to hobbies, so its nice to know that I'm not alone
I struggle with this 🙃 thanks for not shutting her down, and being clear on better ways to communicate
As an Aspie, I can relate because I used to love talking about my special interests even tough it annoyed people. But since my diagnosis I feel so cringy and embarrassed that when people even ask what my interests are I don't want to say anything anymore, even when they say it's okay. Maybe I don't really have any interests now. :(
I have ADHD too and it really hurts when people I love tell me to be quiet to any degree. Like, I'll admit I am being loud sometimes but it sucks.
And when it comes to talking about interests I have a whole story about both of my ex's
So I have this friend group in my 8th grade year (I'm a freshman)
And it was
Me
My best friend (E, but I won't mention them much)
Ex boyfriend 1 who I dated from 5/6-7(dumb ik) we can call A
And ex boyfriend 2 who I dated I 8th grade and broken up with in June who we can call B
So many cases of A and B trashing me for talking about things I love.
I love musicals and me and A both like Hamilton
(The whole friend group liked Anime)
And my favorite to talk about was Death Note, though I never talked about it because E was the only one who really liked it or even watched it.
One time I was talking about Hamilton and A said "Ya know. I think you like it so much or whatever, you don't actually talk time to enjoy it"
And another time
I was talking about death note (Keep in mind all of this is while me and B are dating)
And I don't really talk about it, as I said before
But I was
Just this one time
And both A AND B were just like
"That's the only things you talk about. You barely like anything else, it's like the only anime you've ever seen"
And it just sucks
1. I can't help how much I talk sometimes and I really hate the medication I take because it makes me numb but when I try to act like myself people I'm close to tell me to be quiet
But at this point I apologize to my friends all the time
For talking too much about things and the real ones are like "You're fine- don't apologize you're allowed to talk"
But I'm just so used to being told to stop talking
I’ve gotten stuck on certain topics and I LOVE mentioning strange dreams I have but my mom HATES hearing about my dream I had that night (sometimes they can be highly detailed and full of strange things) u have mild autism that’s why I can get fixated on certain topics
I rarely mention what I dream of even though I really wish I could especially since most are LUCID dreams where I know I’m dreaming and I dream of stuff that actually exists in reality (certain town I’ve never heard of i later look it up and YEP it’s real)
i once had a friend i knew who would go to the toilet specifically to cry and would keep her problems to herself. When i found out about it, i (obviously) comforted her about it and she responded with an "it's ok, i'm used to it. Let's keep this as a little secret between the two of us"
… a lot of these hit personal for me… because I’ve been there so often.
Im sorry. Its all too heartbreaking.
I'm constantly dealing with that so you're not alone friend.
Yeah, same
Same, sadly. Hang in there!
"Im that guy who's just sorta there"
Me too, my guy.
Well, depends in which friend group.
Im still young.
*Y same*
Edit: after watching this I mean it as in I'm kinda shy and don't really like to talk, not as in being ignored.
@August Tonthat THIS!
@August Tonthat surprisingly enough, me too! i mean, i don't have much to do or say
@August Tonthat Right, like they matter more, or you matter less. It sucks, and you think they'd care.
Yeah that's kinda my spot in almost every friend group. It's gotten to the point where I just assume immediately that I'm in that position.
My "Its ok, I'm used to it" story is: My sister and sometimes bullies hits me so whenever a someone hit me I dont flinch or show reaction it because it happens alot.
Emotions are not really a part of my life anymore because of alot of the emotional shit my mom and dad gives me and they put me down alot so I never show emotion anymore.
Same. When I was a kid, my sisters beat me a lot. Our parents work long, grueling hours and they have children simply because 'thats what everyone do' with next to zero skills about how to raise children aside from the very basic things like : a house, school, clothes, foods, a bit of toys.
And I happen to be the youngest sibling, born when my parents started to get financially stable and start to actually put a bit of effort into their children. My sisters are jealous, so they do everything to make me miserable, every single day, not once a day passed without them bullying me.
As I grow up, I went from affectionate, kind, leader of the group kid to just quiet, gloomy kid. But since I got hit a lot, I didnt even flinch when I got hit in school (the bullying in school also started i guess).
I remember putting up the abuse this girl have for me. Letting her hit me repeatedly and continue smiling and didnt flinch at all, because im so used to it.
Its very sad man.
@@jeanneann3545 Damn. hope you are ok.
@@jeanneann3545 I'm so sorry, you don't deserve that!
I'm so sorry, you don't deserve that! I hope you find a nice teacher or counselor you can talk to sometimes!
@@NiennaFan1 Thank you. It still happens and I've been really distancing myself from them but it still happens sometimes. I have found ways to make them stop though.
When people find out that you have or had a life threatening illness that can kill you and people tell you that they're so sorry to hear that and you brush it off of the fact of dying is like it's no big deal while saying in a nonchalant way, it's ok, I'm used to it.
The thing I hate more than dying from an illness is seeing those that I care about worry and seeing them sad. When I feel so calm and relaxed about it all. If my time comes it comes and if it doesn't it doesn't.
Live every day as if it was your last and appreciate what you have and the little things in life. Take a moment to stop and enjoy what the day has to offer. Be kind to those who you'll be passing by in your life. There are days that may be awful but find away to smile in all the awful because it's another day to be grateful for what you have even if it doesn't seem like the day has nothing good to offer. Because you are still here with us like all the rest of us. Which is what I'm doing, being and still exciting.
Don't worry, it's gonna be alright.
Awwww.... You seem like such a sweet and comforting person to be with.
I really hope it gets easier for you! Hope this day is especially great!
Had to stop for a bit at the one where the guy stop his stories and apologized for rambling...that hit a little too close to home for me.
Same... it just happened to me in another thread
I was rambling about hating how people are insensitive and ignorant about depression and then that little voice in my head was like “what if you come off like that annoying straight white girl who thinks she’s so understanding and knows everything about everyone’s problems and can help everyone but is really just ignorant and annoying and pisses people off and says insensitive and ignorant things about stuff just like the people you’re complaining about this sounds like it could come off like that it’ll probably come off like that” and I just don’t want to hurt anyone so I stop
I feel like I end up talking about myself and then I feel like I come off as self-centered on top of the insensitive and ignorant and I hate it
I just think to myself that it’s stupid and no one needs to hear about my problems because they have so many of their own and they seem to be in worse positions than me so I can’t say that I understand because I don’t know if I can and I don’t know if I’ve ever really felt pain, I don’t know if it’s possible to imagine that pain with what seems to me like much more minimal pain on my behalf
I just don’t want to come off as selfish and self-centered and insensitive about other people’s pain, y’know?
@@ahassett37 I take it that’s how you try relate to people and there feelings, I do the same,
Is what it is, I think most people understand that your trying to relate and help.
Made me cry
Been there mate. I assume I’m wasting everyone’s time. That’s why I can’t ask people things. Even something as simple as in math class, “Wait I’m confused.”
Same. I'm shy by nature and the ignorant people I interact with anywhere I go make me more shy
The one at 5:53 got me. As someone with the same disabilities I can definitely attest to that. You will often feel like you're being a burden by just sharing your interests/passions with people, even if they're close to you and you know they don't mind. I've been fortunate enough to have been able to take social skills classes in highschool and take control of my disability but I can still remember when I was the same way. People should be more understanding when it comes to this. If you're not interested then be gentle about it because you don't know how that'll affect someone.
The one with the girl who's brother was a favored child... I felt that... I LIVED that... It hurts...
I'm living that, but it's not just materialistic stuff
@@Fur4all, no, it's not... That's just part of it. 😞
Oh I exist in that sort of household. I'm the brother whom only gets spoiled at dad's (separate households) and at Mum's I never get anything expensive unless it's my birthday or Christmas.
Also I sorta get abused at Mum's from time to time.
@@achithefemboy 😞 I'm sorry...
@@Confession68 nah don't worry. As long as I make my Dad (who has a shit job) happy, I'm happy. Glad to see you care. 💚
It's okay I'm used to people judging me before they get to know me :'(
relatable, sorry you have to feel that way.
SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME
@@griseldamarrufo7779 it's okay :)
@@lm-ml THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME
Just yell at them to get out of your swamp
"Sometimes miss the abuse,someone needed me"
Abuse ,sometimes, becomes the only "affection" a person knows
Been used so much, even by family, "being used" has become some fetish for me now
The toxic mindset that girls have nowadays. While a lot of guys I know have this mindset which is, "I would rather have honest enemies than fake friends." You girls chose the guys who are toxic, THINKING they are the ones who love you when they really don't care about you, than IGNORE the ones who actually DO care about you and don't pay any attention to them. No sympathy for those girls whatsoever.
this reminds me of my class. i get so used to them talking over me, so i just stop talking. it breaks my heart that their conversation is more important than me reading a piece of information in a textbook.
I feel this. I hope things get better for you :(
i feel this, sometimes I do this too (speak over the person reading) now I feel guilty lol I'm sorry if I am one of those annoying kids
This is basically my wife with her family.
And that ladies and gentleman is one of the main issues with group projects.
Having to see your friend bury his dog with a shovel and saying “it’s ok, I’m used to it”
I subscribed just because of your name
@ABIGAYLE MYERS it’s terrible, how can he laugh about that? I’m so sorry for you. And what age is your sister to be given money by your dad but still pay for robux?
@ABIGAYLE MYERS ok so your dad literally pay a 7 year old girl and thinks it’s good idea? Oh my god
Whenever someone dies, someone near to me whom I love, I break a little bit and collapse into a mass on the floor, then about five minutes later I get up silently wishing for death to come to me so that I can stay with them so I don't have to lose them and be more alone, then (only with pets) I do what must be done, and say my final goodbyes. I'm used to it, the process, and the loss.
No, my friend is a female, or a Juxera to be more specific
when I'm hanging out with my friends and i "disappear" then they say oh wow i didn't know you were here or they just leave without me and ignore me but then apologize and i say its fine I'm used to it which is something I'm so used to saying when i get treated shitty by other people
Oh my God. The one about the cat. I'm actually crying. Lost my own lovely boy last year. Have never been loved so much by anyone and will miss him forever. So glad things worked out. God bless all cats and the people who love them.
Don’t worry things happen for a reason
I cried too I’m so sorry he’ll forever be with you bless you I’m sending you the most love 🥺
@@alcoholic_nun thank you so much. Keep safe.
Thank you everyone for liking this because someone just asked wtf is wrong with me for commenting this
@@marybethferguson4753 Well, that's so rude. I wonder what is wrong with them? Perhaps never had a friendship like that themselves, so just can't relate? Some people just have no empathy. Don't fret about it. You are a good person. XX
In grade school PE, you know how the “best” kids would be chosen by the teacher to be captains of the teams?
And the other kids would line up, and one by one they’d all be picked to be on each team? I was never the last one picked...
Me and one other boy would be on the bench, and then the captains would yell “ok let’s GOOOoooo!!” and leave us _sitting on the bench_ . After a few minutes we’d head over to the monkey bars and play until the teacher saw us there, and bring us to the field, where a sort of haggling took place...”Oh I don’t want Billy on my team!”
“Well I don’t either! Tell you what, I’ll take him, if you give me Steve and John!”
“OMG, that means I’ll have to choose Tom! Ok then, I’ll let you have Steve but you have to give Jerome!”
Formalities done, everyone runs out to play touch football...but within a few minutes, the two of us were not included in the huddles (everyone else would lock arms and keep us out) and of course we never got ball...
So after a few more minutes, when the play got close to the monkey bars...we ditched the Beautiful People™ for something more fun.
But like I said...we never got picked last! 🙂 It’s ok though...we were used to it.
I was always one of the last to be picked. To be fair, I was utterly lacking in both skill and motivation. PE became optional in my high school in what was then called 5th form (when you were 15, so the third of five years of high school education in my country), so I ditched it and never looked back. No idea where the sporty girls are now. I hope they're happy and continuing to enjoy sport as I have continued to enjoy life without it.
I was usually the one picking and would always pick at complete random and set the trend for the other person to pick like that or else they were the bitch for needing all the best players when i never cared lol that way no one felt left behind
Jeez, that’s horrible
I was always last to be picked (i don’t play sports, obviously, i’m an art kid) so i just kinda expected it to happen over time and now i just work alone on school projects because one, i’ll never be picked
Also when the gym teachers say to make groups of four or six or eight or whatever and then you don’t have enough friends and get stuck with whoever’s left and then just have a crappy experience because a bunch of the people put on your team don’t care and are kind of just whiny and lazy and annoying (which is exactly why people don’t want them on their team)
Man, this made me realize that me saying "It's okay, I'm used to it" when I'd get bullied or told to shut up when I was "rambling" isn't normal. It was so normal for me since I was emotionally and mentally abused by family members at the home my mom and I lived at. I was also one of the "lucky" students in my class that would be bullied, it was so bad I was put in a fun extra class I'd go to. It was only when I was older that I realized it was a therapy group called "Little Acorns." It did help quite a bit, but middle school really messed me up after the abuse at home got me a slap in the face when I stood up to the abusive family member. Still recovering from it.
I still catch myself saying "It's okay, I'm used to it." When people decide to talk over me, or change the subject or change the focus to them while I'm in the middle of talking. It KINDA SUCKS.
As a severe Hemophiliac, I'm completely used to having constant ER visits, enduring the pain and having internal bleeding. However, thanks to advance medicine I'm living well and content having not to visit the hospital whether in a major or minor incident that may involve me being admitted in the hospital again.
A what?
I'm so used to be interrupted when I'm talking that I don't even finish my sentences because the other person will do it. So when I get to actually finish it, I end up doing a long pause, then awkwardly saying the last word because I wasn't prepared for that.
15:02 my God, I've watched loads of these videos and this one got to me. Wherever you are now kid, I hope you're truly happy and free from the abuse with real friends and people who love you. Nobody deserves that start to life. You're a real one
Always trying to keep the friends I have and always noticing the slow shift into small answers and wandering attention
and then my mom has the audacity to tell me to "put myself out there" as if i haven't been left and betrayed by all my friends for the past 4 years straight LOL
The secret is to leave before they leave. (I'm kidding please don't take that advice)
Relatable
Friend: ignore her she just wants to make your life hëll. (She was talking about a toxic friend)
Me: it's okay, I'm used to it.
Ok feel sorry for yourself, or change. Your choice
@@samiamgreeneggaandham I think they meant they were used to toxic people in their life, maybe family. Can't really change that 🤷🏻♀️
@@hidinginthecommentsss in the parentheses in the comment, original poster stated that they were talking about toxic friends.my only point is that we are the ones who allow ourselves to suffer at the hands of people who are not even people we are forced to be with. We're talking about friends. I do not associate with people that are terrible to me. There are people who try s***, andI simply leave. If I work with them and they cause problems, I always bully them into submission. All I'm saying is, don't enable abuse. If we take this mentality that we won't take abuse from people, we will all be very happy. And, quite frankly, domestic violence, rape, abuse, etc will be much lower all over the world. - in Arab Nations wear that kind of stuff is systemic in the actual sense as opposed to supposedly
@@samiamgreeneggaandham I'm used to being bullied by my classmates and to he honest the only healthy friendship I've had was in kindergarten. I'm going into the 9th grade. In order to remove myself from toxic people I think the best way is ending all friendships because due to past issues with one I'm quite addicted to emotional pain. When ever I get a dose my brain does what ever it can to get more. It's actually pretty hard to explain but think of it as the more depressed I feel the more happy my brain is. That's the best I can explain it.
@@reptilelover2129 okay. Well, you can make a decision. You can change the Outlook of your life and your experience in school. You can go to the gym, you can stand up for yourself, etc and forgo the temporary satisfaction of emotional painor you can get worse until yourself by the age of 25. Those are your two choices. I'm just painting a realistic picture for your future. I don't think you want to die and I don't think you want to live a shity life.take the step forward and be the better person for yourself, your family, and you're deserving friends in the future.
2:57 there was a girl in my elementary who had the worst luck. Her mom died, her aunt died, and then her cousin died, before we were even in 4th grade. She didn’t have many friends because everyone hated her because her personality was really crappy, and I was her only friend. When her cousin died, I felt really bad, but she was like, “it’s ok, I’m used to it”
My “I’m used to it” is probably..
1. Learning how to be by myself for hours and not complain about it
2. Not showing that I’m mad/sad/having a slight tone in my voice
3. Being quite/not giving all the information that I have
4. Learning how to get out of a group of people without being noticed and causing confusion as to how I got behind them
5. Planning and taking into consideration all possible outcomes (mainly the bad ones a good example is when I planned to run away from home by of my parents arguing/my dad being an asshole)
6. Adjusting my conversation/tone of voice to make the people I talk to ether calmer or more panicked (calmer is easier for me to do since all you have to do is speak in a confident tone of voice and slowly transition into a lighthearted tone and smile though out the conversation)
I feel that, I became a master at masking my face and not letting any emotions go through, I became a master at not crying even though my eyes stung, I became a master at not blushing no matter how emotional or embarrassed I was
*my "it's ok, i'm used to it" it's literally everytime my mom shouts at me and directly verbally abuses me in front of other people*
yeah I don't mind her anymore
For me one of that saddest things is hearing someone say, "I SHOULD be used to it by now." rather than, "I AM used to it by now."
I remember in 2nd grade my teacher asked me something about my appearance, I told it was ok I’m use to it. 2 days later CPS showed up to my home . When I returned to school the next day, my appearance unchanged she asked me if the CPS came I told they did. She legit hugged me (that was my 4 hug in my entire life) and started crying I didn’t understand why she was crying, never figure it out till I was in my teens.
I now know it’s not ok have your back and but bruised black and your skin broken from being hit, or be under wight, or go weeks without change of clothes or a bath. To name a few
Oh my god...if you don’t mind me asking, how are you doing now?
@@purplediamond5867 facing homelessness still have no food or running water and now I’m legally stuck being a caregiver to my mother, who still try’s to hit me
They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine, but you are not really fine and you just can't get into it cause they will never understand...
Lol
Thanks for treating the subject matter with respect.
Dick
@@karlrudd8914 malding lmao
That saying has merit here though.
Jesus Christ...
6:44 wow that's exactly my experience, when I was a kid and was "a bit too happy" my parents would tell me to shut up or stop it, now everytime I'm happy I feel wrong, and I feel like I have to hide all my interests
3:50 I felt that. Literally every time I talk to any of my friends I get interrupted so in one on one conversations I rarely talk unless asked to, and in big conversations I just sit their until their is a chance to talk. Half of the time I just end up genuinely crying and wanting to straight up never talk again.
One on one conversations are a perfect opportunity to practice on standing up for yourself!
When they interrupt you, immediately interrupt them again, and let them know.
If they keep on interrupting you, just turn around and walk away in the middle of their sentence.
Why should you listen if they won't?
This one isn’t that bad but one time a friend was telling me how one girl didn’t like me. I asked if she knew why and she said “because she believes you to be stuck up” or something of that nature. I shrugged my shoulders and went back to eating. She was shocked at my inability to care. I just said I was used to people hating me and judging me because I am a blonde with a resting b face and yet am shy so people think I am stuck up.
People really be stupid sometimes.
I have a twin sister, we both are blonde girls, too, but totally different personalities!
My sister gets offended easily and is overall kind of sensitive, when I simply don’t care.
But, people are shocked when they meet me. They say my sister fits more a teenage girl personality in some ways, or just teenagers in general I guess, but I’m NOT. (When I was twelve, I took a mental age test with the rest of my class. Might not be accurate, but I got 42. That could be because of the way my parents and my sister and people at school and how I treated myself, though)
It hurts, though, sometimes. My sister brought one of her friends over with us today, and this is all that girl said to me;
“You have a sister! I forgot!”
“Ew, I don’t want to sit next to you.”
“Do you know what talking is?”
“Yeah, she’s weird. Why does she just follow you around?” (To my sister, about me)
I’m sure she’s said other things, by the way she leans into my sister and stares at me and whispers. I seriously don’t care anymore, though. I’ve told myself that for long, with the help of my parents, people like that girl, and my sister, but I guess that doesn’t really matter. My sister is not always rude, though. Just when she gets into arguments, she gets seriously angry way too easily.
But, I got way off track.
Since my sister is like this, she makes a lot of bad decisions with my parents. She doesn’t like our parents much, but I kinda force myself to love them. I don’t really know if I love them, though, I don’t really know what it’s like to love someone, as stupid as that sounds. Anyways, my parents and other people group me and my sister together a LOT. They always think I’m like her, and if my sister has done several things bad and I did one thing bad, they’ll take it out on both of us, even if what I did wasn’t as severe as the several things she did.
So, I’ve made it my life mission to be as different as her as possible. If I find myself even TALKING like her, I criticize myself and get disappointed. I’m not sure if that’s an unhealthy thing or not, but I’m trying to become a person I like. It’s just impossible to be me to the people I know now.
The more I wrote this out, the more I realized how messed up my relationships are with people. Maybe when I’m older I can talk to someone about it, if I make it that far without going insane.
@@loser-ish3898 thank you for sharing tho, getting that of your chest and how you feel about it kinda helps and I guess it was easier since we all are strangers on the internet
Woahhh, same! Blonde w resting b face. More socially anxious than shy, but along w my people pleasing it's just made me act even more friendly and positive to "prove it wrong" kind of and try to make sure no one disliked me.
Then an adult I and my whole family trusted who'd been encouraging me to act this way turned out to have been trying to groom me since I was 10, so it really made me reconsider who I listen and learn from.
Whew. Life, amirite?
6:23
Unfortunately I could relate. My dad always would tell me that I’m rambling or something along those lines (My head took it very negatively) so now whenever I do talk about certain things, I always stop myself, and would say that I’m talking too much because I feel like if I talk too much, the person “listening” would just ignore me but would make it seem like they were listening.
Fortunately, a few of my friends are good listeners, and a friend I got recently is a good listener, so I could ramble on and on without worrying that I’m annoying them, even if the “little voice in my head” says I would be. Also fortunately, I feel like they actually listen- and I’m grateful for that
For a long time I thought my parents couldn’t hear me because they were old but then I realized that they could hear me but they were just ignoring me
It’s honestly the worst feeling when the person who you see as your best friend is the one who helps in making you feel “used to it”.
2:28 hits me close to home. I'm 19 and I've lost my father, aunt and grandmother in the last 5 years. I live in constant fear that the rest of my family will follow.
My "Okay, I'm used to it" is:
Someone: Doesn't it bother you that your sister hit you and told you to commit suicide today?
Me: It's fine, I'm used to it.
Don't ever get used to that. How old is that bully sister? Emotionally not very old, is my guess.
Being the last resort for everything 🙃 Literally never the first choice.
Gods I felt that.
@@ashbradshaw6835 it sucks
@@indiashante1560 It really does. That feeling that you're just being used. You may be able to numb it, but you always will feel the pain.
I feel you...
Also when your considered ‘the happy friend’ so no one ever asks if your ok when your actually really upset 😢
The saddest thing I have ever said not realize it was bad. I was talking with my friends, they were talking about how there great aunts and grandpapas had it and all this stuff. My best friend turns to me and says “what about you, [Insert Name]?” Now my family hasn’t had the best luck with cancer and diseases in general. My Nana had Breast Cancer, Stage 3, then my Mom got Breast Cancer, Stage 4, then in the same month as my mom, my dad got Stage 4, Hodgkin Lymphoma, then my grandmother passed away October, 31st, 2021, from stage 2 Lung Cancer, in front of my eyes (This story takes place was a few days after it had happened) My friends were all super sympathetic and tell me how hard it was. I told them, “It’s alright, I’m used to it” There faces were so in totally shock and some almost started to cry just looking at me. That’s when I realized, this wasn’t ok and that this was trama I had to see help for
I know how it feels to always be on the edge of a friend group. I spent most of my 20s alone and when my mum asked why I said:
"I'm sorry, I can't be Pluto anymore. Sometimes recognized, sometimes not."
I got sick of friends forgetting I was in the room or asking me about something later and realizing: "Oh, were you not in the room when we discussed that?" Not to mention, the constant talking over me.
oh gosh i really hate this type of friends, i wish you can find someone better ♥️
I’m so use to being alone and no one caring that I couldn’t even have the opportunity to say this.
Alone a lot here too. I feel your pain.
Same, at work and college, ppl would form pairs or small groups and chat and hang around etc while nobody spoke to me for whatever reason
I know that feeling man
Growing up my mom was very neglectful towards me and my brother, because of this I had lice throughout my entire childhood. The last time I had it my dad was looking through my head and apologized that I had to deal with this and that was when I realized it wasn’t normal to have lice for months straight without any sort of treatment.
I remember as a kid, my parents would argue a lot and my step-dad would verbally abuse me when my mom is not home since he couldn't talk back to her (because she's right most of the time). I didn't want to tell my mom about it because I didn't want to stress her out after work so I would tell my friends instead. When my friends ask me if I'm okay, I usually say that "Yea I'm used to it" but deep down I was really hurt. To those kids out there who are being abused, you shouldn't be used to the pain and it is not your fault. You deserve better.
Yes! Or just the thinking the other parent already knows. Since they've seen some of the more milder stuff and didn't do anything for you (like stand up for you or tell the other parent off). I wish I hadn't assumed the other parent knew. It's only now 10 years later since some of the things happened that I've realized they had no idea, and we've talked about it.
3:50 My friend group had this problem all the time. We were really loud people, so we talked over each other constantly. After a lot of cases of noticing someone was unable to say what they wanted to say, we started to get into the habit of saying “Let the man speak, arrogant fools!”. It was our motto, I still remember it now, even though it was probably from grade school lol- I think I say it sometimes to this day, but not as often as my buds would probably like 😂
1:41 holy shit i relate to that on every level. i end up saying "it's okay" or "i'm used to it" to people because i don't have the mental or physical energy to explain it and after a while you just get so sick and tired of explaining it to people that you just instinctively lie about it saying your fine or you don't tell the person about the pain unless you have to
It hurts saying “I’m used to it” to everything
The adhd and ASD (aspergers is a nazi eugenics diagnosis named after a Nazi scientist named Hanz Aspergers and its no longer a diagnosis and is just part of Autism Spectrum Disorder now as of 2013) almost made me cry. That was a major target of my mothers emotional abuse. My ramblings.
Hi, Hans Asperger was a nazi at gunpoint. He lied to shield his children from the nazi party and many many more kids would have been murdured if he had done the easy thing and left when stuff started getting messed up.
That cat one got me good. There's something pure about animals and how they show affection. I could never bring myself to do such a thing to any of my buddies. They deserve so much more than I can ever give them.
It's okay, I'm used to being the one my parents don't like and fall back on me for everything. My siblings get all the stuff they want but and I never ask for anything. They also say that I start every fight but I never do, and they also haven't given me a birthday present in like 2 years so yeah
Almost same