Well done, i just had to walk away from someone i cared deeply for… not reciprocated… 🤷♀️ oh well, it sucks, but i feel better now, I’m not doing all the giving.
"Your journey together is done" really gave me peace about the doorslams i have done in the past. I feel i have closed my door but opened one for them in my absence.
I would add that once I've done a door slam, there's no way I'm letting that person back in my life. I already know they're toxic and untrustworthy. Ain't putting up with that again.
Best thing I did was walk away from my marriage of 25 years, betrayed too many times, then 2 years later cut out my alcoholic, dominating, aggressive sister. So much peace. Only just realised I'm INFJ-T, explains a lot. Still healing from it all and quite burnt out having to work full time after years of raising children.
Yep, accurate. I have 3 messages from 3 friends, 3,000 words and 16 minutes of audio. Not a single question, not a single show of interest in me. And these people claim to be INFJ. Told them I was feeling down atm and not one brought it up. I asked tonnes of questions and tried to care for them. I'm out, it feels too bad. Thank you for the video, good luck with the channel!!
@@UnexpectedAmy gosh, what a crappy feeling! We are just so good at comforting people and being the strong ones, they forget that we need that too ☹️. Thanks for supporting my new endeavor 😊
And you TOLD them you're feeling DOWN? That isn't anything you should ever mention. This is spreading negativity. An INFJ would never dwell on a low feeling but try to get off that vibe on any cost, showing you other much more interesting things, than your little misery-hole. Things that get them out of misery holes every time. Especially if they're Sigma-INFJ's, they will give you advices like: 'Go, try to catch a look at that comet, you won't be around the next time it swings by, even if you manage to turn into the oldest human alive.' - 'Discipline your mind, dreary, master your emotions, read Seneca's Letters to Lucilius.' 'Better go out and search some of this year's autumn leaves to press and glue into your diary, and write some poems on this years low end and the utter disasters that struck you. I know it's the best thing to do, when one is down.' If you find a honest one, there might come the advice: 'I for once wouldn't want to talk with anyone, when I'm really down, because it's a no-go spreading your negativity and sapping life-force out of others, acting out the drama-queen on things noone can change. People and pets get old, sick and die, that is in their nature. Disasters and accidents strike everybody at random, one is glad, if they're not dead, themselves. As long as there is enough strength and enough air left for another breath, there is a reason for hope. Straighten up, brace the cold - or rather hot - winds of time. And STOP WHIMPERING!'
@@INFJCHESSSERIES I know, was born to be a daughter to a Sigma INFJ, and a granddaughter to a Sigma INFJ, raised to be a Sigma INFJ herself. (Was originally an INFP, myself, as the majority of INF are, but yes, one can unlearn those messy quirks by example. Once you realize, you're undisciplined, you can learn to discipline yourself. Start by reading members of the Stoa, and read them, until their mindset is your own.)
So very accurate! I’m an INFJ and had a falling out with my overbearing cousin who likes control over everything but doesn’t recognize that in herself. It’s been there since we were children and she and I never had a close relationship back then (I was closer to her brother). Fast forward to present; we moved back to Phoenix in 2012 and I tried to maintain a relationship with her that was mutually pleasant and respectful now that we’re adults. She is very much an extrovert and she tried many times to press me to “entertain” with her guests at her parties, fill in as a server, etc, etc. I tried to explain my preferences to remain “behind the scenes” and that never registered to her. There were many instances over 10 years of disrespect for me and my family that I finally came to a stopping point. It takes a LONG time for me to get that upset with someone! But it was like a light switch; I just walked away. I stopped communication completely and I had no feelings attached to it. I was just done. I didn’t feel hurt, angry, upset…I just opened a door, walked through and shut it. To this day we are cordial but have no real relationship. It’s sad in a way because we’re family, but respect is important and should be mutual.
Those are things that I think in my mind... before I run. It is difficult for others to understand why INFJs do this. For me, it's the overload of scary energies that I not used to. I say scary because that's what my body feels physically, emotionally and so on. It clouds your brain and we feel the pain of the closing the door.
You are very accurate! My most recent was a roommate that turned out to be a #5 (ungrateful). Nothing was ever good enough! Had to get the landlord involved to evict him.
I’m an infp but this feels very relatable. I can walk away from groups of people because of issues like this but it makes me feel like something is wrong with ME.
I can tell you i walk away because they aren't worth the time & i don't want to unleash on them unless they keep pushing then i show them my dark side.
As an ENTJ exploring the INFJ mindset, I've noticed some intriguing dynamics. Anyone here who'd like to share some light on a few ideas I built, please join and I'll appreciate immensely. But, please, no politeness, just go with raw truth. I need to save time :)) So...INFJs are naturally inclined to see the good in others, driven by kindness and idealism. They may find themselves drawn to individuals who align with their ideals e.g., well-mannered, polished, and with a pleasant demeanor. While this optimism is genuine, it can occasionally create a “sweet trap,” where the INFJ overlooks potentially concerning signals in an effort to uphold their belief in others' goodness. This isn’t due to a lack of care but rather a need to validate their personal values, sometimes at the expense of clear red flags. At this point, an INFJ may become hyper-focused to remain as pleasant as possible to someone, completely disregarding this person's history, behaviour, or actions in general. From my ENTJ perspective - delving deeper into it is a major waste of time (like most things are, hey!), however I do appreciate the INFJs effort put behind it in trying to solve the situation and potentially help the troubled individual. There's another thing, for instance - INFJs often approach people with a mix of analytical curiosity and formal conversation, seeking clarity and depth. Might be curiosity too, I am not entirely sure, or just a need to self-validate a bit. However, they may quickly decide on someone's worth with a snap of fingers, often based on initial impressions, which can sometimes be unfair, especially if that person simply had an off day. The inclination to “shut off” or distance from others stems from self-protection and an effort to uphold personal values. INFJs cam be all about these values, and will find themselves having to choose between their values, self-preservation, and genuine help given to others who actually might be needing it from them. This can become a labyrinth for an INFJ, especially if they had bad experiences throughout the life and are trying to avoid getting hurt. Another thing I've found out is that INFJs also derive a sense of purpose from navigating their own struggles, using pain as a means of growth. So it's not like there's no gain whatsoever. But there is one major issue that I think should be one of the first things for any INFJ to sort our and fix, as it can genuinely lead them to become a better person - INFJs can unintentionally misunderstand genuine pleas for help, sometimes mistaking them for criticism and even an attack. This may lead them to rely more on intuition than on clear communication, which can create misinterpretations and unnecessary distance or the so called "Door slam". It can be a very misguided occurrence and this will lead to both sides having to experience emotional pain out of a simple misunderstanding. So, in essence, INFJs have less patience when it comes down to emotional portrayals of rage or anger, which can be the way a lot of people deal with inner pain. I believe that one of the most important things for an INFJ to learn is that not everything is about them, or directed at them, or made in order to hurt them, even when it might appear like that's the case. I, as an ENTJ, for instance, can't deal with emotions always. I prefer to simply turn them off, it is super easy for me to control them, which doesn't necessarily mean that I don't feel deeply and complexly, same like any other type. ENTJs are insanely complex when it comes to the emotions, we just choose not to let them drive us forward as our guiding light and principles. INFJs' compassionate hearts are at their core, but recognizing that true healing requires patience and sustained attention can enrich this approach. So, my thoughts are that INFJs can be there for others, without actually being present for them. Big difference. As an ENTJ, I do not want the politeness, I seek the core and the essence. I believe that INFJs should allow themselves to be actually present with others who might need them fully and honestly, as this will help the INFJ to build healthy empathy.
@@nentj Gosh this was an interesting read! I am sitting here shocked that someone actually took the time to try and figure us out. And applause to you because you definitely understand us quite a bit. Now, let's cut to the chase: I don't judge a book by it's cover. The cover shows me who they think they are. Perhaps how they feel in the moment, who they want others to think they are, but not who they actually are. So when I meet someone who's polished for example, I don't deduce that there are no red flags. In fact it makes me look harder for them because I know that everyone has them. I do love emotions. I feel things. Intuition plays a big role. But that's reality, we are living a human experience, we aren't robots. And there is a power that comes with understanding emotions because everyone has emotions, regardless of how much they tread lightly. So to understand emotions is to understand people. But you are right. The balance is the logic. The INFJ needs the logic or else they can get lost in the sauce. And where you're really correct, is we give too much for too long. We want to fix people. We see the good in them and we want to expand that. But if we see that there is no hope for that we jump ship. And the good news is it is extremely rare that we regret our decision because we went as far and long as we did. But the most important thing to realize is that infj's are paradoxes at their core. So although all of your statements are true, somehow the opposite is also true. They really do bounce back and forth, playing devil's advocate with themselves. So while it looks like we made a snap decision we didn't. I really do love to hear a different personality type explain us, because in general, we have no idea how others truly see us. So if there is anything else you wish to add go for it, I would love to read it. The good, bad, and ugly, uncensored, raw truth. 🤍
@@INFJCHESSSERIES Thank you, you flatter me. I am merely a passenger. I appreciate it, nonetheless. Well, you've opened an interesting request. The topic has a lot of layers to dive into, and I am unsure how far I may deep-dive through my notes. So, I will leave with two more things I noticed - from my experience, the INFJ dislikes when there are a lot of questions as it sends a signal/warns them how someone might be trying to control them. Not necessarily the truth, as INFJs tend to be something of a closed book. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, either. Mystery is also an important trait of an INFJ, and they will do everything to keep some privacy to them. This is also what shrouds them in sheer allure, like a late night fragrance. It is another one of the things that might be interesting to uncover, however maybe for some other time. I do thank you for your time, and the videos. I will be sure to drop by every now and then. Thank you.
@@nentj "Like a late night fragrance"!!!!!!!!! Holy smokes, those words.... Okay, okay, my mind really wants to hear more but I will accept that I must wait.
I'm an Enfj and have had a infj do a door slam on me. But I'm happy for her to choose what resonates with her. I am in gratitude for life and I know what is meant to be will be 🥰💗💗🌈
@INFJCHESSSERIES Yes, even though it may not seem like it at first but then you realise it is for everyone's highest good. Thank you for your video it has been really helpful 🥰🙏🏻☀️🌈
We teach people how to treat us so we can ‘t be too upset when we allow some people to be parasitic and draining. We do a dance for as long as it takes to see that we are no longer in sync. It can be difficult even devastating to leave a son, daughter, parent or partner because we often have grown to believe they need us ( we needed to feel needed Ugg) and liked seeing ourselves as kind saviors. However, we will realize eventually that we don’t feel good about the relationship. We may talk ourselves into continuing it for one reason or another but then something happens, it could be very big or very small, and we finally see that the way things are is NOT GOOD for anyone. When we let them find their way, no matter how lost they seem and we are no longer there to be the light in the darkness, it means we are helping them to find out who they are and what their capabilities are. What a beautiful gift. It’s not up to us to decide what degree of shifts they need to make. It is up to us to stop this silly hoping they will come around and make it.. On the other side of hope is fear. Being with whatever is -is just right.
Daaym, that’s why I have no friends lol. I do have friends but I’ve been experincing something with a friend for a long time. He’s extroverted, no idea what kind of mbti he has. But every time I hang around I feel drained even though we do have fun moments with eachother. We don’t really share the same values and I feel disconnected to him. He has alot of friends but I always feel sooo distant from every friend he has. Though he cares for me and is such a great man and friend and has good values I noticed that that aspect is not everything, the other half is chemistry. My other friendgroup from highschool was the opposite, with them I have never felt more happiness and laughter in my life but somehow I put up a barrier to them because it feels like we have changed, though I enjoy haning out every once in a blue moon. With this Extroverted friend I remember that ”have I really laughed out loud when I have hung out with him for the past like 3 years?” And no I haven’t really, that’s a hard pill to swallow. I can’t imagine having a close friend without sharing some inherent great chemistry between eachother.
You may have forgoten the self sacrifice part, but it’s understandable since its not a common action And since we are bad at confrontation in some matters, we chose to do our deeds and disappear Which isn’t always the right thing to do i come to realize that as time goes on but it was at the given moment duo to pressure and other factors like being stupid for example I thrown away a precious treasure, a 1 in a million, that is my first love (not really first but it’s complicated to explain) because I thought she deserved better, and knowing the path and risk that i have taken I didn’t want to drag her to the depth of hell with me if i were to fall, and i didn’t know what to do or say because i know she will object and rebel i am somewhat thankful for making that decision since i am currently in a bad place, but i still deeply regret it non the less or atleast i regret the methodology of it because of what it did to her, and ended up being a the biggest fool in the world The fascinating part when i checked hoping she somehow moved on, i can somewhat feel she is still scarred but she did not hold any grudge against me or anything like that at all, she still respects me to this day and its been and its been 15 years later Knowing that helps a little to deal with the guilt and shame i hold, helped to forgive myself in someways All i am saying the “door slam” can often be us and not them which is a point not often many talk about
@@wolfelmeira Yes you are right. I actually covered some of this in other videos. ("Misconceptions of the door slam" and "infj's sacrifice themselves for you") The door slam really isn't as prevalent as it is hyped to be. And I also agree that sometimes it is just the INFJ not knowing how to deal with a situation.
@@INFJCHESSSERIES not sure anymore... which perspective, the them or the us? it's a hard question. I can't get everybody in my head..., but I can't get everybody out either... lol.
@@Proximitydetector Actually sad for both. Sad for the INFJ because they can see what could have been. Sad for the other person because they have no idea what could have been and will miss it.
4. "You took us for granted"
Not just took us for granted, exploited our kindness as well.
Oh man this is resonating so much regarding why I am distancing myself from someone I really care about. (All of them, really)
If you choose to bring chaos to our inner peace you leave us no choice but to slam the door on you. Brilliant video.
Well said.
Well done, i just had to walk away from someone i cared deeply for… not reciprocated… 🤷♀️ oh well, it sucks, but i feel better now, I’m not doing all the giving.
#6) When you are so clingy that spending time with you feels like an obligation
@@christinebaker7311 Ooooh! Yah, that tough.
@@christinebaker7311 I feel this one as an Enfj, I find it difficult to be around clingy people ❤️
Once we realize they were a narcissist taking advantage of our friendship...
Especially if I gave them SOOO many chances and even made excuses for them. The door is slammed and SEALED SHUT.
All so true for me. Takes me sometimes way too long. Many regrets are around not letting go sooner. This was interesting.
@@rmeadowbird2722 But at least you never have to wonder if you gave it enough effort.
If an infj walks away from you; as hard as it is for you to self reflect; you should make an attempt to self reflect.
@@chrislim7976 Very true.
"Your journey together is done" really gave me peace about the doorslams i have done in the past. I feel i have closed my door but opened one for them in my absence.
soo true , taking us for granted
I would add that once I've done a door slam, there's no way I'm letting that person back in my life. I already know they're toxic and untrustworthy. Ain't putting up with that again.
Best thing I did was walk away from my marriage of 25 years, betrayed too many times, then 2 years later cut out my alcoholic, dominating, aggressive sister. So much peace. Only just realised I'm INFJ-T, explains a lot. Still healing from it all and quite burnt out having to work full time after years of raising children.
Yep, accurate.
I have 3 messages from 3 friends, 3,000 words and 16 minutes of audio.
Not a single question, not a single show of interest in me. And these people claim to be INFJ.
Told them I was feeling down atm and not one brought it up. I asked tonnes of questions and tried to care for them.
I'm out, it feels too bad.
Thank you for the video, good luck with the channel!!
@@UnexpectedAmy gosh, what a crappy feeling! We are just so good at comforting people and being the strong ones, they forget that we need that too ☹️.
Thanks for supporting my new endeavor 😊
And you TOLD them you're feeling DOWN?
That isn't anything you should ever mention. This is spreading negativity. An INFJ would never dwell on a low feeling but try to get off that vibe on any cost, showing you other much more interesting things, than your little misery-hole. Things that get them out of misery holes every time. Especially if they're Sigma-INFJ's, they will give you advices like:
'Go, try to catch a look at that comet, you won't be around the next time it swings by, even if you manage to turn into the oldest human alive.' -
'Discipline your mind, dreary, master your emotions, read Seneca's Letters to Lucilius.'
'Better go out and search some of this year's autumn leaves to press and glue into your diary, and write some poems on this years low end and the utter disasters that struck you. I know it's the best thing to do, when one is down.'
If you find a honest one, there might come the advice: 'I for once wouldn't want to talk with anyone, when I'm really down, because it's a no-go spreading your negativity and sapping life-force out of others, acting out the drama-queen on things noone can change. People and pets get old, sick and die, that is in their nature. Disasters and accidents strike everybody at random, one is glad, if they're not dead, themselves. As long as there is enough strength and enough air left for another breath, there is a reason for hope. Straighten up, brace the cold - or rather hot - winds of time. And STOP WHIMPERING!'
@@MagnaMater2 Oh mannnnn, I felt that in my spirit!! Yes, yes, yes.
@@INFJCHESSSERIES I know, was born to be a daughter to a Sigma INFJ, and a granddaughter to a Sigma INFJ, raised to be a Sigma INFJ herself. (Was originally an INFP, myself, as the majority of INF are, but yes, one can unlearn those messy quirks by example. Once you realize, you're undisciplined, you can learn to discipline yourself. Start by reading members of the Stoa, and read them, until their mindset is your own.)
Yep, 💯% correct 👍🏻👌🏻
So very accurate! I’m an INFJ and had a falling out with my overbearing cousin who likes control over everything but doesn’t recognize that in herself. It’s been there since we were children and she and I never had a close relationship back then (I was closer to her brother). Fast forward to present; we moved back to Phoenix in 2012 and I tried to maintain a relationship with her that was mutually pleasant and respectful now that we’re adults. She is very much an extrovert and she tried many times to press me to “entertain” with her guests at her parties, fill in as a server, etc, etc. I tried to explain my preferences to remain “behind the scenes” and that never registered to her. There were many instances over 10 years of disrespect for me and my family that I finally came to a stopping point. It takes a LONG time for me to get that upset with someone! But it was like a light switch; I just walked away. I stopped communication completely and I had no feelings attached to it. I was just done. I didn’t feel hurt, angry, upset…I just opened a door, walked through and shut it. To this day we are cordial but have no real relationship. It’s sad in a way because we’re family, but respect is important and should be mutual.
@@lisasuhr6433 Reading this I am reminded that people never change. And yes, it takes a long time, most especially with family.
Am I the only one having trouble concentrating on the message, because the queen is in jeopardy?
@@tomforsythe7024 haha, keep watching the videos to see the outcome 😁🫣
Those are things that I think in my mind... before I run. It is difficult for others to understand why INFJs do this. For me, it's the overload of scary energies that I not used to. I say scary because that's what my body feels physically, emotionally and so on. It clouds your brain and we feel the pain of the closing the door.
You are very accurate! My most recent was a roommate that turned out to be a #5 (ungrateful). Nothing was ever good enough! Had to get the landlord involved to evict him.
Once we gone…we gone 🤷♀️
I’m an infp but this feels very relatable. I can walk away from groups of people because of issues like this but it makes me feel like something is wrong with ME.
@@duyubu nothing is wrong with you. The very fact that you question if something is wrong with you tells me that there Isn't.
I can tell you i walk away because they aren't worth the time & i don't want to unleash on them unless they keep pushing then i show them my dark side.
@@supersleekalpha Ah yes, the unleashing when it is so well deserved.
@@INFJCHESSSERIES It's like they are dead to us is exactly right.
As an ENTJ exploring the INFJ mindset, I've noticed some intriguing dynamics. Anyone here who'd like to share some light on a few ideas I built, please join and I'll appreciate immensely. But, please, no politeness, just go with raw truth. I need to save time :))
So...INFJs are naturally inclined to see the good in others, driven by kindness and idealism. They may find themselves drawn to individuals who align with their ideals e.g., well-mannered, polished, and with a pleasant demeanor. While this optimism is genuine, it can occasionally create a “sweet trap,” where the INFJ overlooks potentially concerning signals in an effort to uphold their belief in others' goodness. This isn’t due to a lack of care but rather a need to validate their personal values, sometimes at the expense of clear red flags. At this point, an INFJ may become hyper-focused to remain as pleasant as possible to someone, completely disregarding this person's history, behaviour, or actions in general. From my ENTJ perspective - delving deeper into it is a major waste of time (like most things are, hey!), however I do appreciate the INFJs effort put behind it in trying to solve the situation and potentially help the troubled individual.
There's another thing, for instance - INFJs often approach people with a mix of analytical curiosity and formal conversation, seeking clarity and depth. Might be curiosity too, I am not entirely sure, or just a need to self-validate a bit. However, they may quickly decide on someone's worth with a snap of fingers, often based on initial impressions, which can sometimes be unfair, especially if that person simply had an off day. The inclination to “shut off” or distance from others stems from self-protection and an effort to uphold personal values.
INFJs cam be all about these values, and will find themselves having to choose between their values, self-preservation, and genuine help given to others who actually might be needing it from them. This can become a labyrinth for an INFJ, especially if they had bad experiences throughout the life and are trying to avoid getting hurt.
Another thing I've found out is that INFJs also derive a sense of purpose from navigating their own struggles, using pain as a means of growth. So it's not like there's no gain whatsoever. But there is one major issue that I think should be one of the first things for any INFJ to sort our and fix, as it can genuinely lead them to become a better person - INFJs can unintentionally misunderstand genuine pleas for help, sometimes mistaking them for criticism and even an attack. This may lead them to rely more on intuition than on clear communication, which can create misinterpretations and unnecessary distance or the so called "Door slam". It can be a very misguided occurrence and this will lead to both sides having to experience emotional pain out of a simple misunderstanding.
So, in essence, INFJs have less patience when it comes down to emotional portrayals of rage or anger, which can be the way a lot of people deal with inner pain.
I believe that one of the most important things for an INFJ to learn is that not everything is about them, or directed at them, or made in order to hurt them, even when it might appear like that's the case. I, as an ENTJ, for instance, can't deal with emotions always. I prefer to simply turn them off, it is super easy for me to control them, which doesn't necessarily mean that I don't feel deeply and complexly, same like any other type. ENTJs are insanely complex when it comes to the emotions, we just choose not to let them drive us forward as our guiding light and principles.
INFJs' compassionate hearts are at their core, but recognizing that true healing requires patience and sustained attention can enrich this approach. So, my thoughts are that INFJs can be there for others, without actually being present for them. Big difference. As an ENTJ, I do not want the politeness, I seek the core and the essence. I believe that INFJs should allow themselves to be actually present with others who might need them fully and honestly, as this will help the INFJ to build healthy empathy.
@@nentj Gosh this was an interesting read! I am sitting here shocked that someone actually took the time to try and figure us out. And applause to you because you definitely understand us quite a bit.
Now, let's cut to the chase:
I don't judge a book by it's cover. The cover shows me who they think they are. Perhaps how they feel in the moment, who they want others to think they are, but not who they actually are. So when I meet someone who's polished for example, I don't deduce that there are no red flags. In fact it makes me look harder for them because I know that everyone has them.
I do love emotions. I feel things. Intuition plays a big role. But that's reality, we are living a human experience, we aren't robots. And there is a power that comes with understanding emotions because everyone has emotions, regardless of how much they tread lightly. So to understand emotions is to understand people.
But you are right. The balance is the logic. The INFJ needs the logic or else they can get lost in the sauce. And where you're really correct, is we give too much for too long. We want to fix people. We see the good in them and we want to expand that. But if we see that there is no hope for that we jump ship. And the good news is it is extremely rare that we regret our decision because we went as far and long as we did.
But the most important thing to realize is that infj's are paradoxes at their core. So although all of your statements are true, somehow the opposite is also true. They really do bounce back and forth, playing devil's advocate with themselves. So while it looks like we made a snap decision we didn't.
I really do love to hear a different personality type explain us, because in general, we have no idea how others truly see us. So if there is anything else you wish to add go for it, I would love to read it. The good, bad, and ugly, uncensored, raw truth. 🤍
@@INFJCHESSSERIES Thank you, you flatter me. I am merely a passenger. I appreciate it, nonetheless.
Well, you've opened an interesting request. The topic has a lot of layers to dive into, and I am unsure how far I may deep-dive through my notes.
So, I will leave with two more things I noticed - from my experience, the INFJ dislikes when there are a lot of questions as it sends a signal/warns them how someone might be trying to control them. Not necessarily the truth, as INFJs tend to be something of a closed book. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, either.
Mystery is also an important trait of an INFJ, and they will do everything to keep some privacy to them. This is also what shrouds them in sheer allure, like a late night fragrance.
It is another one of the things that might be interesting to uncover, however maybe for some other time.
I do thank you for your time, and the videos. I will be sure to drop by every now and then.
Thank you.
@@nentj "Like a late night fragrance"!!!!!!!!! Holy smokes, those words....
Okay, okay, my mind really wants to hear more but I will accept that I must wait.
I'm an Enfj and have had a infj do a door slam on me. But I'm happy for her to choose what resonates with her. I am in gratitude for life and I know what is meant to be will be 🥰💗💗🌈
@@Laura_fruity_magic most of the time the door-slam benefits both. Especially in the long run.
@INFJCHESSSERIES Yes, even though it may not seem like it at first but then you realise it is for everyone's highest good. Thank you for your video it has been really helpful 🥰🙏🏻☀️🌈
We teach people how to treat us so we can ‘t be too upset when we allow some people to be parasitic and draining. We do a dance for as long as it takes to see that we are no longer in sync. It can be difficult even devastating to leave a son, daughter, parent or partner because we often have grown to believe they need us ( we needed to feel needed Ugg) and liked seeing ourselves as kind saviors. However, we will realize eventually that we don’t feel good about the relationship. We may talk ourselves into continuing it for one reason or another but then something happens, it could be very big or very small, and we finally see that the way things are is NOT GOOD for anyone. When we let them find their way, no matter how lost they seem and we are no longer there to be the light in the darkness, it means we are helping them to find out who they are and what their capabilities are. What a beautiful gift. It’s not up to us to decide what degree of shifts they need to make. It is up to us to stop this silly hoping they will come around and make it.. On the other side of hope is fear. Being with whatever is -is just right.
@@maryrosemitchell9682 Thank you so much for your detailed insight, I really appreciate it 🙏🏻🥰🌸💖.
@@maryrosemitchell9682 Oh man, that was a therapy session right there! This is all so true. It is hard to accept sometimes, but it is true.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ✅️ 🎯
Holy crap, please get out of my head😂😂😂😊
@@ingridn222 🤣
Very accurate, I hope others understand this is true ❤
“Check mate”
@@kbaoluu5905 Haha, pun intended?
They all think we're playing checkers with them until the last minute.😂
I like how Tom Petty puts it,ther so far away..i have my whole inner world to meditate on ,let alone this outer one i choose the inny
Just realized i meant you dont know how it feels to be real lol i was smoking a joimt amd dire straights was your so far away
So on target thanks !
Daaym, that’s why I have no friends lol. I do have friends but I’ve been experincing something with a friend for a long time. He’s extroverted, no idea what kind of mbti he has. But every time I hang around I feel drained even though we do have fun moments with eachother. We don’t really share the same values and I feel disconnected to him. He has alot of friends but I always feel sooo distant from every friend he has. Though he cares for me and is such a great man and friend and has good values I noticed that that aspect is not everything, the other half is chemistry. My other friendgroup from highschool was the opposite, with them I have never felt more happiness and laughter in my life but somehow I put up a barrier to them because it feels like we have changed, though I enjoy haning out every once in a blue moon.
With this Extroverted friend I remember that ”have I really laughed out loud when I have hung out with him for the past like 3 years?” And no I haven’t really, that’s a hard pill to swallow. I can’t imagine having a close friend without sharing some inherent great chemistry between eachother.
@@rickardolofsson6937 Maybe ask yourself why you ARE friends with him. Must be a reason, right?
😢. True
Accurate! Thanks!
No contact 😠
@@stevenjohns-savage7024 Why so mad?
Thank you. It was accurate :)
@@emmad4152 Glad you liked it!
Very accurate, but thatt background music is too (passive/?) aggressive for a sensitive, thought topic like this.
@@NorthStarPNW 🤔 I'm curious, which song would you have put in the background?
Pretty accurate. Reasons 2 and 4 were things I have definitely done very recently
NEGATIVETY IS THE END OF YHE ROAD ‼️ 5:30
Well Done. Appreciate your analysis. By the way, love your musical choice.
@@lancelotdufrane thanks!!
Yeah well it should be getting really getting out of hand before we do Thad ok ‼️ 1:36
You may have forgoten the self sacrifice part, but it’s understandable since its not a common action And since we are bad at confrontation in some matters, we chose to do our deeds and disappear
Which isn’t always the right thing to do i come to realize that as time goes on but it was at the given moment duo to pressure and other factors like being stupid for example
I thrown away a precious treasure, a 1 in a million, that is my first love (not really first but it’s complicated to explain) because I thought she deserved better, and knowing the path and risk that i have taken I didn’t want to drag her to the depth of hell with me if i were to fall, and i didn’t know what to do or say because i know she will object and rebel
i am somewhat thankful for making that decision since i am currently in a bad place, but i still deeply regret it non the less or atleast i regret the methodology of it because of what it did to her, and ended up being a the biggest fool in the world
The fascinating part when i checked hoping she somehow moved on, i can somewhat feel she is still scarred but she did not hold any grudge against me or anything like that at all, she still respects me to this day and its been and its been 15 years later
Knowing that helps a little to deal with the guilt and shame i hold, helped to forgive myself in someways
All i am saying the “door slam” can often be us and not them which is a point not often many talk about
@@wolfelmeira Yes you are right. I actually covered some of this in other videos. ("Misconceptions of the door slam" and "infj's sacrifice themselves for you")
The door slam really isn't as prevalent as it is hyped to be.
And I also agree that sometimes it is just the INFJ not knowing how to deal with a situation.
We are not weak ok ‼️ 3:50
I think you could easily add a sixth: they talk too much. Literally drains us.
@@robertc801 maybe depends what they're talking about, lol.
Yes. The chatty type that talk for hours without really saying anything. I can't do it.
And loudly
I definitely agree with the chatty draining me.
Perhaps the INFJ can never be closest to one, because they are closest of all. .
@@Proximitydetector Ooooh, that's profound. Isn't that the saddest story ever told?
@@INFJCHESSSERIES not sure anymore... which perspective, the them or the us? it's a hard question. I can't get everybody in my head..., but I can't get everybody out either... lol.
@@Proximitydetector Actually sad for both. Sad for the INFJ because they can see what could have been. Sad for the other person because they have no idea what could have been and will miss it.
Being incongruent
5:14 absolutely agree - the negative attitude will not fly…
🙌🏾💯 🎯
good vid.
@@waykiwayki thanks!
U said adios on us too 😢😢😅😅😆😄😁
@@LEONLOVESMUSIC hahaha!!! I was wondering if anyone would notice that 😂😉
👀🇲🇽
@@carlosavila2488 🤔
@@INFJCHESSSERIES Watching INFJ content 😉
@@carlosavila2488 Aha....💡....🍿......😂😂😂
@@INFJCHESSSERIESInteresting Channel 🧐