What I Learned From My Public Freakout Cameo
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.พ. 2025
- Public Freakout on Reddit collects videos of strangers behaving badly. One scary afternoon and a sleepless decision to share a clip led me to a very strange few days of being discussed on the internet. I learned something from my brief moments of being a minor meme about how to process frightening experiences and how to begin to spark empathy on the internet.
Please note that everyone - other than me - in this video is anonymous.
P.S.: Because people ask: "What were you wearing?" The dress I'm wearing in this video is the same one I wore in my PublicFreakout cameo. I have washed the leftover noodles off, of course.
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Twitter: / xandrakane
Tiktok: / alexandra.kane
OTHER VIDEOS:
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MUSIC:
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Music by Artegon
/ artegon
Wow, powerful. Glad you are ok, I hope the other woman is ok, too. Selfie as a self-defense tool is an astonishing concept but one that makes perfect sense when considered in your context.
I hope that she's okay, too. I didn't want to contact the other woman to ask her to relive a scary moment -- telling my own story seemed like the most ethical thing to do. Hopefully other people will realize that this tool can help because it really, really helped me feel better.
The idea of the selfie camera giving agency back - never thought of it that way. A reminder that public freakouts usually embolden the offenders on camera (that guy would have gotten his social media fame after all!). Things like this happen *to* people - A lot to think about here. Thanks for sharing.
It really only fully clicked in my head when I saw the video that the young woman in a tech class posted. When I saw someone else make the same decision, and I saw how much other people empathized with her then, I realized that maybe this is not just a way to stealthily record but a small way to feel agency again.
Thanks so much for making and sharing this video. I'm going to share this with my students in a social media video unit, which will no doubt not only inspire a productive conversation, but might well also empower people in ways you'll never know about - as I'm sure it already has. Sorry to hear of your experience, but also glad you found value to give others through it...
It's cool to hear that students now are learning about social media & videos in class! I think that's very valuable. When I was in school our teachers wanted to cover more material on computer science, internet literacy and media. Parents and the school board thought that it wouldn't be important enough to spend time on class. The teachers were right and I think it would have been very helpful to talk about all of this in a classroom.
@@maevemonroe Very true! Best thing I got out of school relating to computers was how to touch type! 😄
Thank you for your incredible courage in the face of that man's amorality. People who think they are "Christian" when they terrorize others are actually the worst kind of bullies. Christ would have nothing to do with them.
Gotta love the devil's advocates of the internet. As if there's some kind of context that would actually make this unhinged yelling rant acceptable.
Glad you are okay. This man needs to get cancelled again and go to therapy, if not a mental hospital.
There were not a lot of clear thoughts running through my head in that moment, but one of the ones I remember was "I want people to know I was just sitting there." A lifetime of news coverage, commentary and also internet comments have taught me that people ask what a woman was wearing in my position and what she was doing to prompt all of this.
Thanks, I'm okay and it helps me feel more okay to share what I feel like I learned. I'm sharing this whole experience on the hope that talking about selfies as a self-defense tactic may one day help someone else feel better after a scary moment.
**hug**
Our first impulse is to laugh it off when we retell it because if you tell someone and really show them how much it upset you it's doubly painful if they start asking questions like what you did to set him off, like they need to verify your right to be upset before they're willing to sympathize with you. "Hey, a crazy thing happened," is a story that doesn't risk someone you know or someone you care about demonstrating that they're more concerned about the particulars of the situation them your well-being.
I wish women weren't socialized to pass off dangerous men and funny stories, but we can't feel safe sharing until we can trust that people will take it seriously. I'm glad the internet can be there for you on this. It warms my heart to see things like this.
Very interesting. Of course I'm sorry you had to go through this. I do think you have a point about the selfie camera making a difference. Most of the time when we see videos of people freaking out and behaving badly, it's focused on them. But it really changes things when we focus on the victim of their ire. I don't think this is unrelated to the fact that people often change their views only based on their own relationships. For example, studies have shown that people who are critical of homosexuality or don't support gay marriage often change their views when someone they know comes out as gay. Suddenly, it's personal for them, and their empathy finally kicks in. It's sad that it takes that kind of personal connection for people to feel empathy, but I guess better late than never? Anyway, this was a really nice summary and analysis of the situation. Thank you.
Thank you. I agree, people are more inclined to change their views when things feel personal. Perhaps it's because our minds are still adapting to living in large communities. Our brains may struggle to compute the scale and complexity of other lives, now that we're no longer in villages. Knowing someone who comes out of the closet, or seeing the face of a person on the receiving end of aggression, narrows the scope down to a human level.
Thank you so much. Living through fear and probably many more negative emotions alone on a train, still having the awareness to film it in selfie mode and then reliving the moment again and again to process it to the point to be able to make this crystal clear video about it…
I hope this inspires many women to act similar but most importantly it hopefully inspires men to step in when they see misogynistic behavior - regardless if women are around our not.
In these situations it should not be on the women to defend them selves or get out of harms way. It should be men (like me) reigning in other men instead of encouraging this sort of behavior by silence that will be misinterpreted as agreement.
I applaud you, and I am sorry you had to endure and I promise I will even more speak up against misogyny.
Thank you so much for this comment. It makes the time spent putting this video together feel worthwhile. I never feel sure when making something if an idea is worth sharing on the internet, but reading this gave me some hope about things getting better. So, thank you again.
That was very powerful. Thank you for sharing and I too am sad these events happened!
Thank you for listening!
@@maevemonroe you are very welcome! I watched the video and couldn't help imagining that this could easily have been my wife or daughter. I'm so glad you are okay! Take Care!
thanks for sharing and also nice edits. it's a shame you had to go through that. people can be so horrible at times, at no fault of your own
Thank you! I appreciate the thought and it's always nice to hear that someone notices the editing. It's been fun but challenging to learn how to edit videos so I'm glad the effort shows up! :)
Found a link to this on Digg. You were brave throughout his ranting and braver to post this online. Hope you are okay and healing from the incident.
Thanks, I'm doing a lot better. I'm sharing because I've heard/read so many people say that they don't know what to do in a scary moment like this. Selfie recordings are not of course a magical cure for every frightening experience but I wanted to share something that helped me.
Thank you for posting. Like so many others - I am sorry that this happened and applaud you for sharing along with this commentary.
Thank you for listening. I shared my experience hoping to help other people learn from it so it's really encouraging to hear that the commentary was helpful.
I was horrified watching the video, I am glad you are ok.
I am okay, thank you. I'm sharing because I hope that adding this small bit to the conversation around social media/recording/technology may one day help someone else.
Thank you for sharing and explicitly pointing out the advantages of the selfie cam approach.
Thanks. I hope more people realize that it's an option, because it helped me a lot. I've been reading Reddit/message boards for years and I very often come across posts by people who aren't sure what to do in situations like this.
This lady was ASSAULTED. I hope they find this dude.
Incredibly interesting point of view. It never occurred to me that people wouldn't have been as shocked and appalled in real life.
Thank you. I think that they were appalled. I can't read minds, so I'm only guessing what other people on the train thought. I imagine that other people were also frightened and didn't want to endanger themselves. I believe that people would have intervened if the stranger had gotten more aggressive than he did.
This was incredibly disturbing to watch and, of course, incredibly frightening to go thru.
As someone who has been in a similar situation and avoided further harassment by getting off the train, I have to ask if it was not an option in this particular case?
I usually move away in situations like this: unfortunately, not this time. There was a long stretch of train ride between stops going over a bridge, so exiting the train wasn't an option. The stranger was so close, and waving his arms around, that I was afraid if I got up he'd hit me.
So, all of that to say, normally I'd get away if at all possible.
@@maevemonroe: Again, so sorry you had to endure this and I'm happy to see you're weaving something positive out of such a negative experience that, sadly, could've been worse. I wish safer travels for you from here on out. Regards.
Someone should market a right-angled prism to attach to the rear camera so you can film these clowns while pointing the phone away from them.
That would be a very useful invention. My situation was scary for me, but I mainly made this video in hopes that this self-defense tactic might reach people who found themselves in more dangerous situations. What you're describing would be incredibly helpful in a public display of rage that got physical and in many other potentially violent moments.
Great stuff. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story.
Thank you! I was nervous about posting this particular video. Wasn't sure if it was oversharing or if giving this perspective would be helpful. Thanks for checking it out :)
It's truly a shame that the asshat who abused you probably feels like the victim in this situation, and it's even more of a shame that there are probably people forming a queue online to stoke his hatred and reinforce his beliefs that he was somehow justified in his actions.
I don't think I'll be able to fully understand that person's reasoning no matter what I do. His worldview shows up in more polite doses elsewhere -- I've read more than a few respectable columnists suggesting women's rights have gone too far in the US.
My worry isn't so much that someone else like him will shout at me again - not my favorite city moment, but I'll survive. I worry a lot more about people who share his beliefs but have more restraint than to yell at strangers.
What a wonderful way to convey your experience. This video was so gripping and your testimony so concerning. I'm glad this coward didn't try to touch you. I am so disappointed no one intervened. What city is this? As a guy it's distressing to see how often men make the world frightening for women. From the cradle to the classroom to our adult lives at home, women have been there for us; we need to return the favor. Listen. Intervene when we witness abuse. Offer support or protection. SAY something! Raise our boys to be better men.
Thank you, I really appreciate the thought.
This was in NYC. The city does not have a reputation as the safest place on earth, but I've experienced things like this everywhere I've ever lived. First time I was catcalled in a way that really really scared me was when I was 10 years old, and some of the most frightening moments of my life took place in a quiet suburb. This is just the first time I choose to record what happened. I'm not sure if it's the city teaching me to stand up for myself or just getting to a point in my adult life where I feel compelled to speak out.
@@maevemonroe I wish we could know who this dangerous man was. The thought of him having an online flock is frightening. That rant didn't sound like religious zealotry. It sounded like someone off their meds. Someone paranoid and dangerous.
Again, I am glad you are safe and so inspired by your bravery and how you chose to take back your power.
wow that must be terrifying, dealing with unpredictable, rude, and potentially dangerous behavior of that lunatic, all by yourself. wise of you to just record yourself, and not risking your safety by recording the mf. even tho its not what i would do, but i do understand your reasons
well, im just a stanger from the internet, but im glad you are okay (tho i know you are not)
Thank you. I'm working on being okay-er, which as far as I understand it is just the human condition. Strangers on the internet wanting me to be okay gave me enough perspective to even want to talk about this in the first place so I appreciate the thought.
My sister just shed this video with me. I know this video was from a long time ago but I'm not surprised. I was friends with him up until before I moved to the Midwest. So I haven't spoke to him since 2014. But I knew him since I was in high school. I didn't notice until I moved to the Midwest how much worse he was getting.
I'm going to be 38 this year, I met him when I was 14
When I first met him he was always very loud but it was more like in a funny way He didn't do things like this. He would actually make jokes and make people laugh on the train It was more opposite. He would only get offended if somebody was making fun of him or calling him names or something. I had to stop being friends with him
I used to ride Boston's T, and there was a point where they started releasing a bunch of people from mental institutions because they weren't considered dangerous and weren't worth the funding. We ended up with all kinds of disturbed people wandering the streets, often homeless. ~~~ That one definitely sounds like a mental health problem. The question is: is there funding to address the problems of people with that level of dysfunction? BTW, I used to know someone running half-way houses in Montgomery County, MD for the emotionally disturbed. This guy may simply need a social worker to make sure he's getting the right meds.
Society seems to be breaking down. You were a victim, that man thinks he is a victim... we are living in crazy times to be sure. But your video and the video you referenced about that other woman is a very sad commentary on what is going on in the world. Thanks for the perspective. Be well.
I am saddened that you had to endure this. FWIW, I am also saddened to see so many frustrated men pretending they're on right-wing talk radio/Fox News. I see it in campus classrooms from professors, too. It is delusional and awful. Yet they still seem to be striving to be as absurd and harsh and mean-spirited as possible, as though that will make their "ratings" go up. The celebration of broadcaster's Cluster A and B personality disorders has led to things like this, and it's just everywhere now.
Thanks for sharing! And I am sorry you and women like you are subjected to this kind of ugliness. I think you are quite right that showing the subject of the abuse can be oddly more powerful than showing the perpetrator.
Thank you, I appreciate the thought.
I hope that recording in selfie mode becomes a more widely known self-defense tactic. (Maybe "self-defense" isn't quite the correct term, but it's the best I've come up with so far.) It's useful to have a recording if a bad situation escalates. For me it was also helpful to be able to see that memory afterwards, to process something scary once I was away from it.
As a Christian, I'm so sorry you went through this. It's infuriating seeing the difference between how Jesus and how people who claim to follow him acted. There's no excuse for his behavior.
We need to all remind ourselves that we have to stand up to people like this. An entire car full of people had an opportunity to be brave and make a difference. Too often, it seems people don't stand up or just go with the crowd.
Sending much love your way. Heal well and I hope this leaves you stronger than before.
Thank you, I appreciate the thought. I decided to post this because I've read and heard about other people who felt helpless in scary situations. There's not a perfect fix for frightening moments but I thought I would share what helped me feel better.
The Taliban won in Afghanistan. So, I guess the white Taliban feel emboldened to start screaming at women, practically yelling at them to wear burqas. 😀
I had no idea that riding the train while female was such a bold activist statement. Next time I'll try to find an extra-infuriating outfit. Maybe a bright pink tuxedo or a t-shirt that says "I am a human being, lol bye"
Wait. This happened at the Rosslyn metro? Oof. Did WMATA officials intervene or help?
This happened in NYC but the Rosslyn metro makes a cameo in the video because good free stock video is hard to find! I used stock footage from different cities as B-roll because I felt a little hesitant to take my own camera out into the wilds of my local train stations. I'd have been worried about being in peoples' way the whole time if I'd been filming.
@@maevemonroe totally understandable. Thank you for the added context and the transparency. I appreciate it, immensely.
Your presentation is very good, confident and professional. Keep up the good work and you will gain more subscribers soon ❤️
Good day to you Alexandra 👍
#subscribed 😇✌️
Yes it *is* quite frightening feeling trapped in an enclosed environment with a crazy person. I live in London and I've had encounters with people exhibiting erratic behaviour. I suggest if it happens again, perhaps you should change carriage when when it's safe to do so or get off the train if you feel explicitly threatened.
Yes it sucks having to make concessions or compromises for the sake of other people behaving badly, but to feel safe / avoid confrontation this is a part of life living in big cities, unfortunately. There are a lot of crazies out there.
I thought this was obvious to be honest.
Alexandra, I am so sorry you had to endure the rantings of an embittered, misogynistic troglodyte. Thank you for sharing your experience with such eloquence and poise. I wish the very best for you!
Gotta disagree that empathy is rare on freakout videos. The same video from someone else's perspective would've elicited similar concerned comments, and plenty of criticism against bystanders who didn't say anything.
oh man. :( when I heard an angry man and the bible it resembled memories of angry men and the Quran. I'm just glad you're safe.
Sadly people use their beliefs to control and frighten others all around the world.
Thank you, I'm safe and I'm okay. I'm sharing this because I hope that there's a small chance that it'd be helpful for someone else who finds themselves in a similar situation, or is processing something they found scary.
nice.. thank for sharing
There is no hate like Christian love.
I'm not clear what was being argued in the video of the classroom, it needs context
This video has a very ASMR aspect to it and that is nails on a chalkboard for people who don't handle ASMR stuff.
Ah yes, we have rampant unchecked mental illness in NY as a result of insufficient care for the homeless. Very few of us have gone without being berated by them in public in recent years but women certainly end up getting the brunt of it. To put any stock into what he is saying at all is nonsense. He and thousands of others need help that they aren't getting, and people will continue being terrorized until they get it.
religion of peace, huh
A crazy guy screaming stuff in a NYC subway? That's like a weekly occurrence. Sometimes they scream stuff at you if you are unlucky, but that really is just NYC life. It's also part of the reason why I moved out of NY. The place is a hellhole. Everyone around is apathetic, no sense of community, homeless nutjobs everywhere, crime is out of control (again).
Also, that guy was clearly a NY'er. Probably not a tourist. I can't place your accent though.
Lol. Exactly what I thought.
Calling some crazy person who sounds like a local a tourist actually made me laugh.
My visits to NYC have given me plenty of these experiences.
These are normal unfortunately.
You ran into a crazy person on a NYC subway, and no one stopped him from yelling at you.
That’s it.
wow, a crazy person said some stuff to you and you act like youre such a huge 'victim'?? grow up...
So, what you're saying is that you would be ok if somebody treated your mother this way, RIGHT? To be shouted at for 7 minutes for no reason & to have food thrown at her.
Take your mother to me & I'd gladly do that to her for free. See what she says to you afterwards & THEN rethink your idiotic comment.
She was afraid of what he MIGHT do, even though he never did anything. She could have gotten up and moved, yet she stayed there and said she felt unsafe to move. She stopped recording herself because she was afraid he would notice. Literally EVERYTHING she's talking about, are her own actions based on what she was worried he might do, with no actual proof that he would have done anything. Her fears may have been understandable, but also made up in her own head at the same time. She imprinted them onto him. Yeah the guy was being loud and ranting, but if this is her idea of a horrific experience that kept her from sleeping that night, that's just being overly dramatic and sheltered. Most men have to deal with far worse than this on a daily basis, and men are in far more danger of being physically attacked for less.
I wouldn’t argue men vs women. I think everyone has to deal with this crap. Mental illness is rampant in the US unfortunately.