Good stuff. Thanks. Also good for me is vagal stimulation, mindful breathing, a walk, making good food I know how to make already, nature, self care, essential oils, light exercise, intense exercise, stretching, music. Rosetta Tharpe. Nina Simone (here comes the sun), Aretha Franklin (Bridge over troubled water), Taj Mahal (Corrina), Barr Brothers (beggar in the morning). All that good soul and rich blues, the warm sounds put me in a good place. Listening to Ingrid, Ramani, and Les Carter are affirming and assuring and helpful. Reading about finance and behavioral economics. Building a compounding machine. Planning my revenge. A hot shower.
I have used EMDR for 12 years now after witnessing a murder. And, unbeknownst to me I have done the others as I frequently just go outside, look around making note mentally of what I see then closing my eyes to concentrate on hearing and always put my hand on my heart. Thank you for letting me know that all those are what keep me going.
I read your book. You told my story. You are an amazing lady. Sadly my story is a stepfather high ranking police officer who became a predator to myself and my two sisters as soon as he came into our lives, I was 9. We lost our mother to him. It all came back to me when I turned 55 and found out he was a sexual predator to our daughters. He’s still alive and my siblings and I have walked away from him. We are hoping when he’s gone, we’ll get our mother back. I saw myself through your whole book. Thank you for helping people like me who lost their voice 46 years ago and still m proud that I’m much more of a stronger mother than my own. My daughter and I are on the road for healing but also waiting for closure. I will feel the same as you did with Randy when he’s gone. Wendy
Suddenly I understand why I love drumming. I constantly find myself tapping on the table even on my laps and other parts of my body. It felt like a little harbour in the tempest for my mind. At this moment I am having a deep breath before saying thank you, thank you Dr. Clayton.
1. Take a deep breath 2. Keep proper aroma therapy bottle in your pocket 3. Pick a four self love sentence mantra 4. Jump and or exercise… sit ups. 5. Breath work 6. Tapping 7. Rife Frequencies
When I’m overwhelmed, close my eyes, crawl into God’s lap (like little children with grandparents) and feel His comforting arms of protection around me.
Love the first two. If I may chip in - I was showed two other methods. First one depends on sitting straight, feet fully supported, hands resting in a preferred position. Make sure to move your shoulders slightly back to open up your chest for easier breathing. Then you scan your body from bottom to top. You put your awareness into each part of the body for a brief moment and if you feel like there is something not quite right - you adjust. After scanning your whole body, you begin to breath. But the way you do it is this: on breathing in, you begin to move your head up, like you wanted to see a ceiling. On breathing out, you do the opposite - lowering your head, like you wanted to see a floor. Do it slowly for few minutes. The other method blew my mind completely but requires two people. You stand straight with your legs moved apart a bit for a better support. Then another person stands right behind you and starts gently pushing you on sides of the back (from shoulders to waist - randomly) so you begin to swing from left two right - very gently. You need to let the other person fully move your body - do not start swinging on your own. Do it in silence for few minutes - my mind literally stops working - a truly wonderful feeling! And lastly - let's not forget about Ben Leinbach - The Spirit of Yoga. Good luck everyone!
Thanks for these! I also like to find things with colors of the rainbow. So, I'll find something red. Then something blue, purple, green, yellow, orange. 🌈
One other tip I would share that is really something I learned as a grounding mechanism for when people feel upset or anxious. Take the palm of one of your hands and place it on your forehead center between/above your eyebrows. While your hand is resting there, take one or more long, deep breaths. This is instantly calming. That's why people will often pop their hand to their forehead when they're shocked or surprised like. Oh , my god! , and then instinctively smack their forehead, or even the silly older TV ad: "Wow, I coulda had a V-8!" and they pop their hand to their forehead. It closes an energetic circuit when you connect your hand to basically your third eye region and is calming and grounding plus added calm from deep breaths. Hope this helps someone -try it if you feel wound-up and need instant calming. ❤ And, thank you Dr. Clayton for this video and your tips.
It’s 6:11am - I had an unexpected trigger in an email from the past while I was researching a present opportunity. I had seen last night you had posted this video and I went straight to it. I’ve learned to go to tools to help myself heal. Wow. I followed along and then listened to one song by Brian Courtney Tracy -“Worth Fighting For” at the Dove Awards. Spoiler alert: total tear flood at the end of the song. Yes, I’m worth fighting for and now I have the tools to do so. And yes I’m ready to go on with my day lightly pondering the email chain with respect and relief and without reliving but knowing I am being restored after a hideous narcissistic relationship I didn’t even know I was in because I also grew up with it. You have added abundantly to my tool kit and I am SO glad you are here. I’m gifting your book to my two sisters for Christmas. Thank you ❤️🌱❤️
Thank you for remind me that rhythm is so comforting, my song is high hopes by Bruce Springsteen, it makes me dance. I am a visual person too, so I use the orientation method, by naming things by color.
Doing these things, especially the last two, really helped me calm down my nervous system just now. I can get strong food cravings where I NEED to eat so much in so little time. For the first time ever, those feelings passed!
This is so helpful. I was just thinking this morning that l would really like to be in my body again as it seems to me that l am survival mode all the time. This video is just what l need to help me do that. Many thanks. 🙏🙏
Excellent advice to help calm me when I am triggered. I went to a therapist and did EMDR and it helped greatly. The other suggestions you mentioned I am going to try. Thank you!
Just subscribed, I listened to you and and Dr ramani on spotify, I am a male n my 50's with a completely different narcissists experience(older narc brother), it is amazing how your story spoke to me and how it was so similar yet different, many thanks!
OK just needed to share. The song you recommended Dear is not Welcome is wonderful. Headphones on. Standing and swaying I felt tingles all over! Thank you so much 😊❤️
Oh.. I remember reading about orienting just few weeks before my first panic attack - it helped and I choked it out quickly. Paying any attention to my heart does not help me - I just become more and more anxious, because my heart beat quite disregulated
Hi Dr. Ingrid, I’m wondering if you’ve ever heard or come across Dr. Ian McGilcrist’s work regarding the hemispheres of the brain, for the EMDR process. I find his work compelling and paradigm shifting for further awareness with trauma healing. Thank you for your daily shorts. Everyday is getting better. ❤
Love these tips! Square breathing has been my go-to lately. Since you gifted us with a great song, I'll reciprocate: Walk With Me by GoldFord! It's a great one to walk and sing along to ❤️ thank you for sharing your work!
Maybe im doing it wrong but, this triggers me instead. This method is actually what I accidentally did when I was a CSA victim during the occurence. I was small and I used to just stare at things in the room and really focused on them or closed my eyes and tried to listen for birds or other sounds. All this to sort of "cancel" what was actually happening by super focusing on other things and sounds present, even counting my breath. So when i try to do these excercises it just suddenly makes me feel a sense of doom? Dont know how to explain. But i know that this is actually a really good excercise. I just cant though. It does the opposite to me now. Before it used to "cancel" the perp while it was happening. Now if i do it, it makes the perp "reappear" when its not happening? Weird. I can only do distraction to help myself. I will play my violin for hours.
It doesn't sound like you're doing it wrong at all. It ust sounds like, unfortunately , one of these exercises that helps other people now instead triggers you and takes you back to a place that you needed to escape as a child. First I want to say i'm very sorry for the child made you suffered as a child. Second, don't keep driving to do this method and think you're doing something wrong. It's just not a comforting choice for you - it's a trigger to a prior trauma/survival mechanism. Try one of her other suggestions or find something else entirely that works for you. ❤
So sorry to hear how controlling he is. I have an NPD mom. You likely need to try a completely internal method like looking around the room. And navy things were closing your eyes and listening to sounds. He never needs to know and then there's nothing. He can control when it's all in your own mind and senses. Best wishes. ❤
I want to let you know how God is real. Everything is not a coincidence. I've been through trauma almost constantly since the age of 6, until the end of October of last year. I just thought you should know why what you're saying has any reliance to me. For some odd reason, your video was in my subscriptions section. Not the regular part of TH-cam, where you find new content. This makes absolutely no sense, because I only subscribed to you just now while watching this video about some tools I'd never heard of in my life, and finding out that I naturally started doing ALL THREE throughout last year February, ongoing to now. Even the random deep breaths!!!!!! I noticed that I'd started doing that deep breath randomly in the summer and still do! Do you understand how much this is all freaking me out? I found out that God was real last year as well. I find out sometimes months later why something happened and what I was doing something without knowing why I was doing it. All freaks me out! If I told you how many other things have happened like this, you wouldn't believe it! And what it does it is it makes me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you God!
Good stuff. Thanks. Also good for me is vagal stimulation, mindful breathing, a walk, making good food I know how to make already, nature, self care, essential oils, light exercise, intense exercise, stretching, music. Rosetta Tharpe. Nina Simone (here comes the sun), Aretha Franklin (Bridge over troubled water), Taj Mahal (Corrina), Barr Brothers (beggar in the morning). All that good soul and rich blues, the warm sounds put me in a good place. Listening to Ingrid, Ramani, and Les Carter are affirming and assuring and helpful. Reading about finance and behavioral economics. Building a compounding machine. Planning my revenge. A hot shower.
This LIST 🙌
I have used EMDR for 12 years now after witnessing a murder. And, unbeknownst to me I have done the others as I frequently just go outside, look around making note mentally of what I see then closing my eyes to concentrate on hearing and always put my hand on my heart. Thank you for letting me know that all those are what keep me going.
💜 placing my hand on my heart is so comforting ☀️
I read your book. You told my story. You are an amazing lady. Sadly my story is a stepfather high ranking police officer who became a predator to myself and my two sisters as soon as he came into our lives, I was 9. We lost our mother to him. It all came back to me when I turned 55 and found out he was a sexual predator to our daughters. He’s still alive and my siblings and I have walked away from him. We are hoping when he’s gone, we’ll get our mother back. I saw myself through your whole book. Thank you for helping people like me who lost their voice 46 years ago and still m proud that I’m much more of a stronger mother than my own. My daughter and I are on the road for healing but also waiting for closure. I will feel the same as you did with Randy when he’s gone. Wendy
Suddenly I understand why I love drumming. I constantly find myself tapping on the table even on my laps and other parts of my body. It felt like a little harbour in the tempest for my mind. At this moment I am having a deep breath before saying thank you, thank you Dr. Clayton.
1. Take a deep breath
2. Keep proper aroma therapy bottle in your pocket
3. Pick a four self love sentence mantra
4. Jump and or exercise… sit ups.
5. Breath work
6. Tapping
7. Rife Frequencies
Ingrid, I love you! Thanks to all of you other wonderful people who left messages. ❤
When I’m overwhelmed, close my eyes, crawl into God’s lap (like little children with grandparents) and feel His comforting arms of protection around me.
This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
Love the first two. If I may chip in - I was showed two other methods. First one depends on sitting straight, feet fully supported, hands resting in a preferred position. Make sure to move your shoulders slightly back to open up your chest for easier breathing. Then you scan your body from bottom to top. You put your awareness into each part of the body for a brief moment and if you feel like there is something not quite right - you adjust. After scanning your whole body, you begin to breath. But the way you do it is this: on breathing in, you begin to move your head up, like you wanted to see a ceiling. On breathing out, you do the opposite - lowering your head, like you wanted to see a floor. Do it slowly for few minutes.
The other method blew my mind completely but requires two people. You stand straight with your legs moved apart a bit for a better support. Then another person stands right behind you and starts gently pushing you on sides of the back (from shoulders to waist - randomly) so you begin to swing from left two right - very gently. You need to let the other person fully move your body - do not start swinging on your own. Do it in silence for few minutes - my mind literally stops working - a truly wonderful feeling!
And lastly - let's not forget about Ben Leinbach - The Spirit of Yoga.
Good luck everyone!
Thanks for these! I also like to find things with colors of the rainbow. So, I'll find something red. Then something blue, purple, green, yellow, orange. 🌈
Love this!!
Okay, now I understand why I rock when I'm in crisis. Thanks for the tools!
One other tip I would share that is really something I learned as a grounding mechanism for when people feel upset or anxious.
Take the palm of one of your hands and place it on your forehead center between/above your eyebrows. While your hand is resting there, take one or more long, deep breaths.
This is instantly calming. That's why people will often pop their hand to their forehead when they're shocked or surprised like. Oh , my god! , and then instinctively smack their forehead, or even the silly older TV ad: "Wow, I coulda had a V-8!" and they pop their hand to their forehead.
It closes an energetic circuit when you connect your hand to basically your third eye region and is calming and grounding plus added calm from deep breaths.
Hope this helps someone -try it if you feel wound-up and need instant calming. ❤ And, thank you Dr. Clayton for this video and your tips.
It sounded weird to me, but I tried and you are right. Thank you!
I love nature and using all five senses to take God's love in to me..I feel like a kid..the kid I was that knew love in this way in hard times then
Thank you Dr❤️
It’s 6:11am - I had an unexpected trigger in an email from the past while I was researching a present opportunity. I had seen last night you had posted this video and I went straight to it. I’ve learned to go to tools to help myself heal. Wow. I followed along and then listened to one song by Brian Courtney Tracy -“Worth Fighting For” at the Dove Awards. Spoiler alert: total tear flood at the end of the song. Yes, I’m worth fighting for and now I have the tools to do so. And yes I’m ready to go on with my day lightly pondering the email chain with respect and relief and without reliving but knowing I am being restored after a hideous narcissistic relationship I didn’t even know I was in because I also grew up with it. You have added abundantly to my tool kit and I am SO glad you are here. I’m gifting your book to my two sisters for Christmas. Thank you ❤️🌱❤️
Thank you for remind me that rhythm is so comforting, my song is high hopes by Bruce Springsteen, it makes me dance. I am a visual person too, so I use the orientation method, by naming things by color.
Doing these things, especially the last two, really helped me calm down my nervous system just now. I can get strong food cravings where I NEED to eat so much in so little time. For the first time ever, those feelings passed!
Listening to you slowed my breathing down & relaxed me. I enjoyed them all. Thank you.
You are such a lovely person and am so grateful that you published your book. It gives so much hope ❤
Thank you! I find all three helpful!
This is so helpful. I was just thinking this morning that l would really like to be in my body again as it seems to me that l am survival mode all the time. This video is just what l need to help me do that. Many thanks. 🙏🙏
Excellent advice to help calm me when I am triggered. I went to a therapist and did EMDR and it helped greatly. The other suggestions you mentioned I am going to try. Thank you!
Yes!! Fear is not welcome in my house anymore!
Amazing content! Thank you!❤
Thank you so much for making these videos ❤
Thank you so much 😊🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Just subscribed, I listened to you and and Dr ramani on spotify, I am a male n my 50's with a completely different narcissists experience(older narc brother), it is amazing how your story spoke to me and how it was so similar yet different, many thanks!
OK just needed to share. The song you recommended Dear is not Welcome is wonderful. Headphones on. Standing and swaying I felt tingles all over! Thank you so much 😊❤️
❤️❤️❤️
Oh.. I remember reading about orienting just few weeks before my first panic attack - it helped and I choked it out quickly. Paying any attention to my heart does not help me - I just become more and more anxious, because my heart beat quite disregulated
Hi Dr. Ingrid, I’m wondering if you’ve ever heard or come across Dr. Ian McGilcrist’s work regarding the hemispheres of the brain, for the EMDR process. I find his work compelling and paradigm shifting for further awareness with trauma healing. Thank you for your daily shorts. Everyday is getting better. ❤
Love these tips! Square breathing has been my go-to lately. Since you gifted us with a great song, I'll reciprocate: Walk With Me by GoldFord! It's a great one to walk and sing along to ❤️ thank you for sharing your work!
Square breathing has been a big one for me in the last month or so. The other technique that helps me get the heart rate back down is tapping
Can u use a metronome for bilateral stimulation?
Try it out! See how it feels to your body.
Maybe im doing it wrong but, this triggers me instead. This method is actually what I accidentally did when I was a CSA victim during the occurence. I was small and I used to just stare at things in the room and really focused on them or closed my eyes and tried to listen for birds or other sounds. All this to sort of "cancel" what was actually happening by super focusing on other things and sounds present, even counting my breath. So when i try to do these excercises it just suddenly makes me feel a sense of doom? Dont know how to explain. But i know that this is actually a really good excercise. I just cant though. It does the opposite to me now. Before it used to "cancel" the perp while it was happening. Now if i do it, it makes the perp "reappear" when its not happening? Weird. I can only do distraction to help myself. I will play my violin for hours.
♥
It doesn't sound like you're doing it wrong at all. It ust sounds like, unfortunately , one of these exercises that helps other people now instead triggers you and takes you back to a place that you needed to escape as a child.
First I want to say i'm very sorry for the child made you suffered as a child. Second, don't keep driving to do this method and think you're doing something wrong. It's just not a comforting choice for you - it's a trigger to a prior trauma/survival mechanism. Try one of her other suggestions or find something else entirely that works for you. ❤
My narcissistic husband yells at me when I fidget my hands. Even breathing near him gets him angry.
So sorry to hear how controlling he is. I have an NPD mom. You likely need to try a completely internal method like looking around the room. And navy things were closing your eyes and listening to sounds. He never needs to know and then there's nothing. He can control when it's all in your own mind and senses. Best wishes. ❤
💗🎶🤲🙏😊
Putting my hand on my heart makes me teary or sometimes full out boohoo. 😢
I want to let you know how God is real. Everything is not a coincidence.
I've been through trauma almost constantly since the age of 6, until the end of October of last year.
I just thought you should know why what you're saying has any reliance to me. For some odd reason, your video was in my subscriptions section. Not the regular part of TH-cam, where you find new content. This makes absolutely no sense, because I only subscribed to you just now while watching this video about some tools I'd never heard of in my life, and finding out that I naturally started doing ALL THREE throughout last year February, ongoing to now. Even the random deep breaths!!!!!! I noticed that I'd started doing that deep breath randomly in the summer and still do!
Do you understand how much this is all freaking me out? I found out that God was real last year as well. I find out sometimes months later why something happened and what I was doing something without knowing why I was doing it. All freaks me out! If I told you how many other things have happened like this, you wouldn't believe it! And what it does it is it makes me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you God!
God is real, God is good.