The 3 Unfortunate Reasons Why People Misunderstand You | Say It Stronger with Mike Foster
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ต.ค. 2024
- Strong communication requires observations about the barriers that often stand in the way. When you’re misunderstood, it’s not necessarily about you, but about how people hear you. There’s going to be distortion and filters over everything you say in terms of what people hear. Mike shares with us 3 distortion filters to be aware of to help us Say It Stronger.
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#SayItStronger #MikeFoster #Communication
Thankyou for this video, really helpful.
Sometimes out of jealousy and envy people twist your words and change it into something you never said or intended to say that way. Happened to me.
Narcissists do that a lot. It's intentional. They're purposefully misunderstanding you to make you the bad guy to justify whatever bs they're pulling.
Yess man it happens to me all the time in my family and in my relatives and guess what my own mom projects me in a wrong way in front of relatives and now they all think am bad and laugh about how my mom just insults me in front of everyone I really don't know what to do. Everyone thinks that I am arrogant and say I will never get married to good person or I will have a divorce soon. When marriage is not even a topic of my worries for now.
I was misunderstood and attacked by someone online (a pioneer TH-camr and researcher) who I idolised and it was as simple as them misreading my comment. The way they defended themselves was passive aggressive, disrespectful and she was obviously triggered. I’m trying to not take it personally. She was an idol of mine but the bubble has burst now. 😢
Maybe see her as human, who also has pain…if you idolize someone, it blocks you from allowing them to be human and fail too. Never idolize other humans
Distortion Filters:
1. Survival
2. Protection
3. Our Past
People misunderstand In my family and in my relatives and guess what my own mom projects me in a wrong way in front of relatives and now they all think am bad and laugh about how my mom just insults me in front of everyone I really don't know what to do. Everyone thinks that I am arrogant because my mom just provokes me to say arrogant things to her when she insults me so everyone in my relatives think and say to eachother that I will never get married to a good person or I will have a divorce soon. When marriage is not even a topic of my worries for now. Even some jealous cousin twist my words all the time.
I feel you bhaiya, my elder sister also twists my words & preferences in wrong way. Idk knowingly or unknowingly she mocks me alot in front of my parents, as if how bad of a person I am. The way she says even my simple eating habits, feels like just how ungrateful I am?
I feel isolated in my family, I can't talk to mother about anything, she would always interrupt, at the end it feels like my mummy also believes I'm a bad useless person.
I've long stopped talking to her but she still provokes me in pretext of worry. She takes revenge of each insult when we argue, btw majority of the time, it's she who provokes me.
When I do her complain to mummy she starts acting knowingly or unknowingly, how bad of a person she is , how mummy always scolds her , she just worries about everyone. Inshort it's feels she is victimizing herself in front of mummy.
She repeats my mistakes all the time using different different sentences. I feel I have nobody, now I don't even want to talk to my mummy anymore, bcoz of my resentment .
But My mummy silence hurts me the most. If I stay among the family members I'm not studying just wasting time, if I'm staying in my room I'm hiding something, not studying, only sleeping etc
Now I talk to noone, nobody tells me anything about anything, when something happens "oh u live in this house, you don't even know simple thing?"
@@Diti_Kusha I am a girl this is my father's phone, but I feel you, Even I have stopped talking to my family I am always in my room and whenever I go out of my room my mom picks up a fight it's irritating. I too feel alone, but don't worry one day we will find our dear one's.🤞
@@Diti_Kushayou just expressed my condition. I relate to you so much
@@Diti_Kusha don't worry dear I have been and going through same. Hey don't worry girl. I am going through same. And you know the reality that people who misunderstand you and insult you in front of others even if it is not your fault -- those people are very selfish and narsistics people. People who misunderstand us they just do that purposely because they want to put us down. It's not that they misunderstand us, it's just that they don't want to understand us. Actually they don't try to understand anyone else's situation or feelings. It's nothing wrong with us. It's just that those people are sick. They are rotten from inside. They have no feelings. They want to be in limelight always. By insulting you they want to control you. We should never take the rotten people seriously. Just ignore them. They are just triggers and noises in our life. They also come in our life to remind us that we should only focus on our main priorities. 😊❤❤❤ May Allah protect us from narsistics people and guide us to correct path always. May Allah bless us with happiness and prosperity and peace and good health. Aameen.
@@ashokpatil4964 Hey don't worry girl. I am going through same. And you know the reality that people who misunderstand you and insult you in front of others even if it is not your fault -- those people are very selfish and narsistics people. People who misunderstand us they just do that purposely because they want to put us down. It's not that they misunderstand us, it's just that they don't want to understand us. Actually they don't try to understand anyone else's situation or feelings. It's nothing wrong with us. It's just that those people are sick. They are rotten from inside. They have no feelings. They want to be in limelight always. By insulting you they want to control you. We should never take the rotten people seriously. Just ignore them. They are just triggers and noises in our life. They also come in our life to remind us that we should only focus on our main priorities. 😊❤❤❤ May Allah protect us from narsistics people and guide us to correct path always. May Allah bless us with happiness and prosperity and peace and good health. Aameen.
Hey don't worry girl. I am going through same. And you know the reality that people who misunderstand you and insult you in front of others even if it is not your fault -- those people are very selfish and narsistics people. People who misunderstand us they just do that purposely because they want to put us down. It's not that they misunderstand us, it's just that they don't want to understand us. Actually they don't try to understand anyone else's situation or feelings. It's nothing wrong with us. It's just that those people are sick. They are rotten from inside. They have no feelings. They want to be in limelight always. By insulting you they want to control you. We should never take the rotten people seriously. Just ignore them. They are just triggers and noises in our life. They also come in our life to remind us that we should only focus on our main priorities. 😊❤❤❤ May Allah protect us from narsistics people and guide us to correct path always. May Allah bless us with happiness and prosperity and peace and good health. Aameen.
Mr Foster, God used this to remind me and encourage me toward truth. Thank you for sharing.
This is a brilliantly blessed message in communication and perspective.
So true❤
Valid points ❗️🎯
My spiritual leader misunderstood me and the problem with that is I can’t explain that I didn’t mean what I said the way she understood it.
But now each time she speaks is still being talked about and I’m gonna “go through “ testing and chastisement by God! I can’t say it again to her that I didn’t mean it like that but she won’t let it go!
I even feel like I can’t even talk to God about what I feel because I don’t wanna be disciplined or chastised because she’s His Leader.
I’m sure there’s a lesson in it for me. But I don’t want to shut down and not talk to her or anyone in our Christian family but there’s no one to share with that I didn’t mean all that’s being said to everybody!
What do I do?
Just learn to be quiet no need to explain because there will be countless times when we’re all misunderstood!!
Oh honey. I hope you were finally able to talk to the Lord first. I hope you were able to move past this, but if not, Jesus has been in your shoes and mine.
I came to TH-cam seeking some encouragement after being misunderstood by another sister in Christ. So grateful God brought me here.
I have been a Christian since I was 11 and I’m 48 now. I have been in several situations or conversations where way something I said or something I did was misinterpreted.
Sometimes I can see how after they respond and I’m like “oh my goodness. What I just said sounded really terrible? Didn’t it?! Wow. It was the opposite of my intention and reality. “
Now here is the hard fact: not everyone is going to try and understand you or me. They didn’t understand Christ. They hurled insults at him, wrongly accused him and interpreted why he was on earth. Even so, Jesus looked on them with compassion. “Father, they know not what they do.” He cried on the cross.
Instead of hurling back insults or begging and pleading for them to change their minds, he was quiet, or he prayed and at times he spoke, but not all who heard received what was said the way He intended.
It hurts to be misunderstood, but God knows the truth. Times like this can make us bitter or we can turn to God, give our hurt to Him and pray for the ones who misunderstood. We must forgive with God’s help.
As this video reminded people who respond in a way that’s harsh or take it personally or wrong-are often speaking from their own trauma and experience.
When it’s been Christians, sometimes the Lord has shown me that He has a different place and path for me.
In the Bible we see Paul and Barnabas in the NT split ways. They couldn’t agree on some things, so they decided to part ways.
If you’re still dealing with this, pray for God’s direction on if He is moving you on to a different group/people/church.
Overall I pray you would know God’s grace and mercy and understanding beyond fathom. He knows your heart and your true intentions. He loves you and relates and wants to help you.
Know a sister is lifting you up to Him this evening.
Praying for you 🙏🏽. I know what this feels like. God loves you
God's love does not condemn. Just because they're from the church doesn't mean theyre operating through God's love. If they put you down, stay away from them. And be hobest with them ifyou had to. I recently had to do something similar myself and they asked me why im not attending their sermons. I told them they discouraged me and i felt led by Holy spirit to stay away. God does not condemn or bring up wrongs over and over..NO! Learn to know God's character, His fruit. If anyone doesn't exhibit these fruits of his heart.... You know its not Him. The devil uses the church to discourage us as well
I feel so misunderstood to the point I don’t want to live 😢
Same it kills me from inside
Oh my 😢 …That hurt my heart to read. For you to confess this, I imagine you must feel really devastated by your experience with the people in your life. I really hope and pray there will be someone that takes the time and effort to understand you, to accept you.
You are worthy and you have value. ❤ You deserve to be seen and acknowledged by those you love.
That’s exactly why we cannot outsource our value.
Your worth is not dependent on any other person validating your experience.
You need to see your value and then find your tribe.
Do not let people who have their own pain blocking them from seeing you…determine your being on earth or not.
If I show you a piece of paper with Arabic (or a language you can’t read, understand) and you don’t “get” it…should I take that personally? Does it make my words less valuable? No.
I just tried to show someone who doesn’t have the skill to read/understand it….If I made a choice, about my life, based on that…that shows I have a very poor sense of self.
That’s where the work is. Heal your inner core wounds…it will change your life💛
Let's get married 💀💀💀
Hey don't worry girl. I am going through same. And you know the reality that people who misunderstand you and insult you in front of others even if it is not your fault -- those people are very selfish and narsistics people. People who misunderstand us they just do that purposely because they want to put us down. It's not that they misunderstand us, it's just that they don't want to understand us. Actually they don't try to understand anyone else's situation or feelings. It's nothing wrong with us. It's just that those people are sick. They are rotten from inside. They have no feelings. They want to be in limelight always. By insulting you they want to control you. We should never take the rotten people seriously. Just ignore them. They are just triggers and noises in our life. They also come in our life to remind us that we should only focus on our main priorities. 😊❤❤❤ May Allah protect us from narsistics people and guide us to correct path always. May Allah bless us with happiness and prosperity and peace and good health. Aameen.
Tell me about it❤