How to deal with being estranged from your mother on Mother’s Day

Dealing with being disconnected from your mom on Mother’s Day is tough. There are tons of reminders of this “holiday” that can cause more distress than comfort for some. Maybe you are fully disconnected, are low contact, or maybe just going through a rough patch with your mom at the time, but no matter what it can be tough to handle. Let’s get together and chat about the challenges and see if we can come up with some solutions

[@jw844]

Thank you so much for candidly sharing. I know so many people who struggle with this day. There really need to be more spaces to acknowledge that every person has a unique relationship with their given family. Thanks for helping to grow this space!

[@jw844]

And I very much agree on the commercialisation increasing over time.

[@mavmagick]

@@jw844 thanks for watching! Just wanted to share my heart ❤️

[@Reed5016]

I really relate to the part where you mentioned your dad stifling your mother’s religious insights and ideas during their conversations. What’s sad is how so many young boys in the church see things like that, and believe that it’s okay and right, and treat afab people like that. It negatively impacts families and the self esteem of afab people.

[@mavmagick]

Exactly!! We have to model better behavior!

[@Reed5016]

I also have two brothers that are entrenched in the patriarchal things from Christianity, even though only one of the two are still Christian. It’s rough.

[@kaymcdonald1709]

Thanks Mav, its getting close to that time of year again🫂

[@initiativeplaytherapy88]

Your comment about being attracted to things like tattoos that would repel your mom reminds me of a quote by Dolly Parton.
"I make jokes about it, but it's the truth that I kind of patterned my look after the town tramp. I didn't know what she was, just this woman who was blond and piled her hair up, wore high heels and tight skirts, and, boy, she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. Momma used to say, "Aw, she's just trash," and I thought, That's what I want to be when I grow up. Trash."

[@mavmagick]

Omg that speak to a deep part of my soul 🥰😭

[@GreensVibe]

Heyyy! 1st Gen Haitian American Trans Non-Binary person who has 2 children, and is also Estranged from bio Haitian Fam, and recovered from religious oppression over here!
I've been Estranged/Cordial Contact with my mom since about 2008 and Estranged/ Zero Contact around 2010 (?). Estrangement in general is complex--relief for having distance from the harm and grief for what we wish we could have. Oh, and the misplaced guilt, that one is the worst.
Thanks for making this video and creating a space for folks to talk about Estrangement on Mother's Day.
Self care: I comfort myself by talking specifically with other Estranged folks who are able to hold space for the estrangement and who can also celebrate with me about my own compassionate parenting style with kids. People who can show up for the complexities of life are important to me.
Nice connecting with you on here. 🇭🇹

[@mavmagick]

Yay!!! I’m so glad to hear your perspective! I’m so grateful to know you!

[@GreensVibe]

@@mavmagick 😃 !!