I'm a male with Asperger's I used to mask all the time at school and it would drain me physically and mentally when I got home I would just go boom. I Basically had daily borderline meltdowns I swear school caused so much stress and hate for me I swear it probably took 10 or 20 years off my life
Your presentation style is superb and will just get better as you produce more content. As I get older (and a little wiser) I’d say it’s far better to have 2 or 3 really good friends with whom you can truly be yourself than to try to have many friends with whom you have to mask. You are lucky to be so self-aware - I’m sure with much effort - not just luck! I was diagnosed as autistic at an old age and I’m only just learning about the way I’m wired. I’m so full of admiration for your insights. Despite a huge age gap - and being male - I can still learn from your content. Keep up the good work!!
one thing about me is that I am good at socialising right now with other people but I struggle with maintaining friendships. I haven't met up with my friend in 2 years because I get anxious when I'm around people and it's exhausting trying to force conversations out when i'm tired and theres nothing to say
Thanks again Hollie! Keep them coming! Its our Sunday night viewing! and don't worry about rambling! If you can keep talking about it, we'll keep listening and learning!! x
Enjoying your posts. Especially the first one where u explained such a lot. I could.identify so much to my own daughter however never knew there was an issue so never did anything. She was awkward always wanting her own way caused chaos is a loner even today certainly doesn't mix or like mixing.
My personal hypothesis on masking in boys vs girls is that we do it, but we don't have to mask as severely or as often. Basically, the heavier social standards placed on girls from a young age force them to work harder and spend more energy to effectively "hide" their autistic traits. This, in turn, creates the situation we have where autistic girls especially are more known for masking, and it is widely accepted that they are also usually better at it than boys for the same reason
I wish I could mask. It's so frustrating for me because I feel like I'm the only autistic girl who can't mask. I fit more of the boy profile than the girl profile (outgoing, expressive of interests, assertive) but I'm a girly girl who likes girly things. I wish I could mask and seem normal. I used to think people liked hearing me talk about stuff I'm interested in (video games, science, weather statistics, history, cartoons, etc), I found out people aren't always interested in that, I thought if they were listening they were interested. I still can't tell and it makes me sad. I can somewhat online because I have time to prepare what I'm saying but unfortunately everything can take quite a long time to perfect, meaning if I take enough time to properly elucidate what I'm saying I can somewhat appear "normal" online as the conversation is not in real time, but any real time conversation I am not able to appear normal at all.
Hi i m from Pakistan..please tell me my daughter is now 7 years old so how i can teach her how to behave in park in hospital in my friends house at road ,basically outside , so that people donot talk bad about her...ur conversation is at very good level...my daughter is having speech therapy and cannot under stand even WH questions, she cannot make correct sentences which i am teaching her gradually ..she gets upset and angry very soon..starts screaming and crying ..wat to do at that point? She repeats things ,she stairs at splits routers, By watching you i wish my daughter improves like u ❤
I take it back when I said best keep it at 10 minutes. Don't put the stress on you to shorten them artificially. Your videos are all nice and I enjoy seeing them alot! For me masking is the worst at social groups, when you have somehow to fit in. I just can't, it doesn't work. In school I was the sarcastic commentator all the time but it's not so cool and not likeable either. I think ONE of the reasons we mask is because we actually LIVE in those TV shows etc. We want the world to be those shows . They are nice and adventurous, and welcome escape. I often did it more abstract though. When I was about 13 or so I for example tried to be a big philosopher now, then soccer player etc. etc. Of course it never worked out the slightest. To find your personality can be a long way for an autist. And it's difficult to show a bit of your true face.
i think you are absolutely right. that is 100% another reason why i masked, and still do! glad you enjoy the videos, there's another one coming out at 6pm tomorrow
I know this video is based on masking in autistic girls but this is my son completely everything yij have said he could if brrn saying he is 11 and has spent years watching fellow boys and children around him how thry behave speak and react then copying and mimicking there personalities to the point I could usually could guess what child he had been around during the school day by the behaviour he came home with. He hate the idea if standing out or people sering he is different so pretends to blend in and go undetected this worked during primary school he started secondary school in Sept and is finding it so hard to adapt and work out what is expected of him in this large strange school with different staff and children he isnt use to and he has been off school so much since Sept with sheer exhaustion fatigue and anxiety I've been saying it's coming from constantly having to perform in public put on an act and play apart and its destroying him mentally as its just not realistic but I understand why he feels he has to do it and I think like you it's just second nature and he doesn't realise he is doing it
I'm a male with Asperger's I used to mask all the time at school and it would drain me physically and mentally when I got home I would just go boom. I Basically had daily borderline meltdowns I swear school caused so much stress and hate for me I swear it probably took 10 or 20 years off my life
Your presentation style is superb and will just get better as you produce more content. As I get older (and a little wiser) I’d say it’s far better to have 2 or 3 really good friends with whom you can truly be yourself than to try to have many friends with whom you have to mask. You are lucky to be so self-aware - I’m sure with much effort - not just luck! I was diagnosed as autistic at an old age and I’m only just learning about the way I’m wired. I’m so full of admiration for your insights. Despite a huge age gap - and being male - I can still learn from your content. Keep up the good work!!
Awh that’s nice to hear you’re enjoying the videos it truly is! Hope you enjoy the future vids just as much. Thanks again for this comment x
one thing about me is that I am good at socialising right now with other people but I struggle with maintaining friendships. I haven't met up with my friend in 2 years because I get anxious when I'm around people and it's exhausting trying to force conversations out when i'm tired and theres nothing to say
Thanks again Hollie! Keep them coming! Its our Sunday night viewing! and don't worry about rambling! If you can keep talking about it, we'll keep listening and learning!! x
awh thankyou! so happy you enjoy the videos x
Loved this, thank you, you've got such a great way of explaining things. I'm going to link to it in my new blog post, hope that's OK!
Yes that would be great Thankyou!
Brilliant Hollie you are my little star xx
thankyou grandma! xx
This is very enlightening, thank you for this!!
0:40 There is no link to that video down below.
Love ur videos cause I’m autistic but I haven’t been diagnosed yet so ur vids help me so much
Awh glad they help you! That’s great
@@holliemabbott949 I actually have been diagnosed with ASD in December
@@holliemabbott949 in 2020, last year
Nice work again Hollie. You’ve a great way in which you explain things. Xx
Thankyou very much! Xx
Omg Hollie, we have just tried to have this conversation with Izzy tonight. Really good insight from you
no worries, glad you enjoyed the video!
Enjoying your posts. Especially the first one where u explained such a lot. I could.identify so much to my own daughter however never knew there was an issue so never did anything. She was awkward always wanting her own way caused chaos is a loner even today certainly doesn't mix or like mixing.
Really glad you like the posts! Thankyou for the comment!
You are soooo good at explaining stuff! I acted like tracey beeker in school for years and now i know why🤣🤣
ahah, thankyou!
Great video, has helped my understanding enormously
awe im so glad, thankyou for the comment!
So relevant to my daughter, thank you!
No worries!
Omg this makes total sense I completely resonate
Completely understand, as a male, I've been doing this for over 30 years.
glad you can relate, especially as a male as it is more common in females than males however it shows males also mask too
Thank you. 🥰💐❤️💙👏🏻
My personal hypothesis on masking in boys vs girls is that we do it, but we don't have to mask as severely or as often. Basically, the heavier social standards placed on girls from a young age force them to work harder and spend more energy to effectively "hide" their autistic traits. This, in turn, creates the situation we have where autistic girls especially are more known for masking, and it is widely accepted that they are also usually better at it than boys for the same reason
I wish I could mask. It's so frustrating for me because I feel like I'm the only autistic girl who can't mask. I fit more of the boy profile than the girl profile (outgoing, expressive of interests, assertive) but I'm a girly girl who likes girly things. I wish I could mask and seem normal. I used to think people liked hearing me talk about stuff I'm interested in (video games, science, weather statistics, history, cartoons, etc), I found out people aren't always interested in that, I thought if they were listening they were interested. I still can't tell and it makes me sad. I can somewhat online because I have time to prepare what I'm saying but unfortunately everything can take quite a long time to perfect, meaning if I take enough time to properly elucidate what I'm saying I can somewhat appear "normal" online as the conversation is not in real time, but any real time conversation I am not able to appear normal at all.
i did listen to you for 20 minute straight why wouldnt i ?
awe thankyou
Hi i m from Pakistan..please tell me my daughter is now 7 years old so how i can teach her how to behave in park in hospital in my friends house at road ,basically outside , so that people donot talk bad about her...ur conversation is at very good level...my daughter is having speech therapy and cannot under stand even WH questions, she cannot make correct sentences which i am teaching her gradually ..she gets upset and angry very soon..starts screaming and crying ..wat to do at that point?
She repeats things ,she stairs at splits routers,
By watching you i wish my daughter improves like u ❤
I take it back when I said best keep it at 10 minutes. Don't put the stress on you to shorten them artificially. Your videos are all nice and I enjoy seeing them alot!
For me masking is the worst at social groups, when you have somehow to fit in. I just can't, it doesn't work. In school I was the sarcastic commentator all the time but it's not so cool and not likeable either.
I think ONE of the reasons we mask is because we actually LIVE in those TV shows etc. We want the world to be those shows . They are nice and adventurous, and welcome escape.
I often did it more abstract though. When I was about 13 or so I for example tried to be a big philosopher now, then soccer player etc. etc. Of course it never worked out the slightest. To find your personality can be a long way for an autist. And it's difficult to show a bit of your true face.
i think you are absolutely right. that is 100% another reason why i masked, and still do! glad you enjoy the videos, there's another one coming out at 6pm tomorrow
Wow!! Thank you!
no worries!
I met another autistic before and we clickedvon every level only they masked so much that they left me behind ...that hurt.
Aww she seems so nice bet it would be great to be friends with her
I know this video is based on masking in autistic girls but this is my son completely everything yij have said he could if brrn saying he is 11 and has spent years watching fellow boys and children around him how thry behave speak and react then copying and mimicking there personalities to the point I could usually could guess what child he had been around during the school day by the behaviour he came home with. He hate the idea if standing out or people sering he is different so pretends to blend in and go undetected this worked during primary school he started secondary school in Sept and is finding it so hard to adapt and work out what is expected of him in this large strange school with different staff and children he isnt use to and he has been off school so much since Sept with sheer exhaustion fatigue and anxiety I've been saying it's coming from constantly having to perform in public put on an act and play apart and its destroying him mentally as its just not realistic but I understand why he feels he has to do it and I think like you it's just second nature and he doesn't realise he is doing it
2-3 year olds are not "masking"
No shit Sherlock
Omg this makes total sense I completely resonate