UNREAL: Life With Depersonalisation Disorder (A Short Film by Joe Perkins)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- Depersonalisation Disorder - or DPD for short. One of the most under-recognised conditions that affects a significant number of people worldwide. I've had it for over a decade now - and it's had a colossal impact on my life.
The psychology behind DPD is somewhat complex, but one of the biggest issues for sufferers - aside from trying to overcome it - is trying to explain to other people what it feels like; how it affects us; how we can experience emotions and reality very differently from everybody else. This condition is often fairly invisible from the outside, but has a hugely detrimental & damaging effect on the people it affects.
This short film depicts the real-world ramifications of living with it from my point of view - somebody who experiences 24/7, chronic DPD which I never get any relief from. How has it impacted my life? How does it make me feel?
For more information, please search 'DPD Diaries' - my other channel where I upload videos explaining more about this condition and answering questions about it. Or, you can contact me directly at joe@dpddiaries.co.uk to ask me anything you want.
There is now a charity for Depersonalisation. Based in the UK but operating globally, Unreal aims to support people with lived experience of the condition, offer peer support events, lobby the UK government, raise awareness of the condition within both society & medical circles, etc. I'm a board member, along with notable figures within the world of DP such as Jane Charlton & Dr Elaine Hunter, and with Professor Anthony David & singer-songwriter Dodie as our ambassadors. Please find out more about the charity & what we offer here: www.unrealuk.org
If you are struggling with your mental health & feel that you are in crisis, I would urge you to seek immediate advice from a mental health team or other health professional - or speak to the Samaritans on 116 123 (within the UK)
© Copyright Joe Perkins 2018
All rights reserved.
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every day question... Am I gonna be like this forever? I look forward to dreams. Dreams feel more real than reality
sAme
No, not necessarily. I suffered from depersonalization + severe anxiety BAD in my 20's--I had to be hospitalized twice, etc. But I eventually snapped out of it.
profd65 how long you had it for
I know exactly what u mean when dreams are real and reality is a dream
I’ve been suffering with it for 24 years... some times it’s a bit better, sometimes it’s completely impairing. No medicine or diet or exercise or anything has cured me.
Emotional numbness is very difficult it’s like my mind is blank and empty of thought like I’ve lost my personality and who I am.
Same I feel detached and blank and am just living in the motions with no real purpose or meaning no real personality just living everyday the same and in pain in fear and I take comfort in sleep but I dislike the feeling when I wake up and am back and I ha e to repeat the same thing act normal but I know I'm not
Can someone please fucking help me fix this shit it’s controlled my life for years
blue how old are u
@@polo3583 why?
blue don’t question me just answer or I can’t help u..
This video is amazing. Anyone who doesn’t suffer really do not understand. From being told “it’s all in your head” or “just don’t think about it”... I’ve been suffering from dpd 4 months now. Constantly checking and hoping I feel real. My surroundings feel real. But they don’t. Having conversations then completely forgetting what it was about 10 minuets later. No longer being able to enjoy life like you use to. It’s all so so real and so so distressing. I hope more awareness is made so people realize it’s not in our heads. I’m 19.. my life shouldn’t be taken away from me at 19.
Update: 1 year later and I’m only seeing most of these replies. Thankfully with some good news. After suffering for what felt like forever my body slowly turned back to itself. I can happily say I am dpdr free! I have my bad days but I’ve thought myself to control over impulsive thoughts when it “heightens”. Thanks for all the lovely replies and I hope you all recover, have hope, it gets better 💕
Hey Ella, I just wanted to let you know that after my 4 months mark it was around the time where I had days without thinking about it. Now it's been one year and around 3 months. I wish someone out there told me it wasn't always gonna feel hopeless, you will gain control back, believe me. One day will go by without thinking about it and the next thing you know it will be weeks and so on. Everyone is different but one thing that helped me that may or may not help you: I stopped researching so much about it. The same way our brain put us in this situation, it will get out. I wish you and everyone here the best because I know how it feels when you're at the worst. Also, if anyone wants to ask about my experience feel free to do so.
Ella Leonard I know exactly how you feel. I’m 15 and I’ve had it for my whole life, but no one believes me because they just don’t understand :(
Text me on instagram @the.anoj i suffer from this it feels like your trapped in your mind
Hi Ella. I absolutely feel you. My mind is telling me even this isn’t real but I’m trying to just believe that I’m not alone. You’re right. This isn’t fair at such a young bright age that this is happening to us. But we have to stay strong. Meditate by repeating assuring words. I’m gonna pray for you and for everyone suffering from this. Just know I’m thinking about you and everyone else and you’re not alone. I just ask you do the same for me. Lots of love to you and everyone else, we could all use some❤️❤️.
Andre A Hey Andre, I’m Andres and I’d love to know how I can get into contact with you so maybe you can help me feel some relief and help me feel better.
For me is like being drunk 24/7, I can still feel everything from emotions to pain but it feels unreal
Jesus is the answer❤
It goes away. Good luck to everyone that still has this.
Scarface Beatz did it go away for u??
@@rajaalahmar4371
It went away for me, and I had it bad for six or seven years. Don't lose hope.
@@PHJ1441 Accept it, don't fight agaisnt it.
Stop checking in the mirror if you are "real" and stop checking your surroundings for being "real".
Distract yourself by doing what you love.
It goes away. Ask yourself. What is the thing that make you worried fundamentally? What is the core problem in your life?
Find it. Solve it day by day little by little. Don’t feel rushed.
If the problem is too big, break it into pieces. Solve it one after another.
I had it for 7 years and now Im almost free from it.
Yes, it goes away for people who have it as a symptom not as a diagnosis, DPD is commonly an anxiety and depression symptom so when you treat those you get rid of DPD, but as far as I can see you can have relapses and have DPD as a symptom again.
I’m 18 and I’ve had dpdr for as long as I can remember. That final sentence hit me hard cuz I realized I have absolutely no hope of ever “waking up”. Honestly I hardly even remember what a “normal” perception of reality is like.
I have no hope too, because i have it for 22y now (24/7)
It makes me feel so lonely, because for me it's like being trapped in my own mind, and i just see how everybody (family/ boyfriend/ friends..) are living their lives.. and i.. am just.. not in this world somehow..
and moreover, if i meet random people, or even friends, i can't tell them my problem.. that too makes me feel lonely..
depersonalization makes me suffer, every day, every moment.
i wish you all the best! i wish that you will feel the world! that you feel "normal"!
(if you want we could write each other..?)
Same
It does come back. Sometimes I’m walking on the sidewalk to/from class or work, and I take a moment to notice the grass in a way I hadn’t before. It feels like time pauses, and in that instance sometimes I can re-understand what reality feels like. In that state of mind the very concept of depersonalization feels so foreign and unrelatable, but inevitably it returns and reality becomes distant. Just know that your dpdp mindset is not permanent, and the glimpses of real ness are worth it.
I’m in the same exact boat. This disorder is costing me my relationship. It’s made even worse because my significant other will never understand how deep I am in this. I forget things more and more. I can’t sympathize with my significant other’s complaints. I grew up walking on egg shells and I still do. The few moments I did have free of this, I cried because it felt good. It has only ever gotten worse but then again my family rejects the idea that anything is wrong with me. I wish everyone luck with waking from this stale nightmare.
Same, I’m 13, and I remember it since forever (professionally diagnosed not self diagnosed). I thought it was normal for up to grade 3. It was never pleasant, but I assumed everyone had it. It only got worse, from lasting a couple hours at a time to 24/7. Idk what to do about it
I would probably wish death on someone before I ever wish this on them.
'sleep is the only time my mind is at peace'... That one hit hard
Hi have had this condition for a year now. It is a severe disability. My life has completely changed. But with the help of Allah I stay strong and continue with life as best as possible.
Did you figure out how to get out? If you didn't get a fix let me know I will share some things which I used each time.
@@DJxSGGxNeo I'm actually better now. It was a really slow process but Allah (God) cured me & gave me the strength to persevere. Honestly it was a really difficult few years but here I am today. Thank you for your offer of support and I pray that Allah keeps you safe and well Insha’Allah (God willing)
@@saberghafoor hi bro can we talk please Like WhatsApp
@@wildnight5396 Yeah sure no worries.
Please send me a temporary email address and I'll send you my contact details
20+ years 24/7 ive been suffering from this
that "wake up" part of the video hit so hard it made me cry
it's a beautiful video man. Hope we all get back to normal someday.
Someday I will wake up!
Ditto, next year makes my second decade.
I Fell into a world of unreality 8 years ago and have never came out it, this is like something you would see in a horror movie, I can't even remember what the real world feels like. The first few years I was obsessed with finding a cure it's been that long now that even if I did come out it I doubt it would be a easy transition back into the real world will I have another 8 years adapting back , will that be just as bad ? . I see this condition as a physical one , it affects my vision & hearing. This is such a unknown condition yet I believe its the most terrifying mental health condition there is. I wish there was assisted suicide in my country.
@@gillianmcatee5378 if you have no one to talk to about this we could have a conversation in private. Suicide is not a solution
@@gillianmcatee5378I posted a comment but idk what happened to it. Anyway, if you have no one to talk to about this stuff we can have a discussion in private. Suicide is not a solution
8 years for me. We all deserve a medal,a million dollars and a model girlfriend for the amount of suffering we've had to endure. Great video btw.
7 for me man, prayers it'll someday pass 🙌
Try to clear your and don't think too much
Jeremy Galloway great now i know its not getting better soon
I am too I suffered for 3 months then I took help from TH-camr Swami G.
S Pal is it gone?
I have DP for 1 year now and this video definitely nail it. Somehow, it's releasing To know that you're not alone. This trouble is terrible, it's like you're anchored and you have to watch everyone around you keep walking forward.
Thanks for that video it could make my surrounding understand my feeling, i hope that you'll heal. COURAGE
been dealing with this for 4 years now i fear ill never come back
I suffered from it for six or seven years, and I too thought I was stuck feeling that way forever. But I snapped out of it.
Try to clear your mind
@@profd65 tips?
@@rajaalahmar4371 just don't think of it so much and let the feeling sink in don't run away from it, relax, breathe in when u feel trapped, also focus on ur surroundings and think happy stuff , i have it very badly but when i get a panic attack i do those and it calms me
@@ghoste_girll I'm 13 and I have dp how old r u
This is beautifully made bro...pls hang in there. I know the unfathomable pain this disorder creates, but we will see the light one day!
How much days it takes to recover for you
@@hunteraxtell2791 the dp part of it i only had temporarily brought on by obsession, thats pretty much not an issue anymore.
My DR however ive had 24/7 for 20 years or so. But recently ive found ritalin which, out of all the countless meds ive tried, has made by far the biggest difference in my ability to feel present and enjoy reality. Its still a dream, but at least now i can focus and be much more present wich things instead of completely zoning out all the time.
Im in the process of getting a diagnosis for adhd rn. Wether i have it or not, dopaminergic stimulants are what my brain needs.
With them supporting me, i may be able to eventually get out, who knows.
SInce ritalin my quality of life has definitely improved dramatically. From life almost not being worth living to feeling kinda ok and actually good at times. I can only encourage people who are in as desperate situations as us long term sufferers, to do what they need to do try the meds they think may be a shot.
The healthcare system is trash when it comes to this.
Jesus is the answer
It FEELS SO STRANGE.. But.. i tell myself its ok bc ill make it through.. Ugh. Greyscale life. But I'LL BE STRONG!
Did u ever make it through?
Jesus is the answer
I’ve experienced this for over ten years. I can’t begin to explain how scared I was in the beginning, how crazy I felt and no matter what I did made it go away. Years of being confused and feelings alone no matter how many people in my life cared for me. They all saw someone that seemed so normal and would never even guess for a second that i was dealing with this internally. No matter how bad it was to me, everyone else only saw a person that functions the same as them. I’ve learned that this makes us more human and for same then any other that doesn’t suffer with this. Because the emotions they run away from and want to wish away we the sufferers of this chase more then anything else. We want to be what everyone else denies and doesn’t want to feel. The good and the bad because this has taught me how to see the positive in anything. I wouldn’t trade places with anyone for even a second because I know I was lucky to turn out this way. I help people deal with their problems and emotions because I understand them more then I should. But I ask myself everyday how I can understand something that I haven’t felt in over a decade. Depersonalization makes you understand all of people’s feelings because being detached from them makes it where it can’t hurt you no matter how close the danger seems. I want to help people so they can never even come close to feeling what this is like. Something that makes us feel as we aren’t real, we are watching our lives play out as if we are watching it inside our own heads in a movie theater, but at the same time feel as if we are floating above our own bodies, blurred vision and having an autopilot, time never seeming to take as long as it should and waking up to look in a mirror and see a human look back at you that you feel you don’t even know. Accepting all of that was harder then it should have but once I did I learned so much about myself and everything around me. There’s an end to this hallway of confusion, you may not see an end but it’s there. What you also don’t see is others in your life that also deal with this. I’ve met a number of people like us and it helps to know that you aren’t alone. Helping each other can show us the way out of this darkness because someone else might have a spare battery for that flashlight that died without you noticing. You aren’t alone and the more you realize that the better it gets, because the way out isn’t a door just for you but for the people you meet along the way that also deal with this. Just have to look for them, because they might be someone you care about. Hiding this isn’t going to help, it only makes it worse.
Dude i can tell uve been suffering for a decade the way u were able to describe it was unreal ive had it for i would say 5 to 6 years and i still cant describe how i feel i would say im in the confused state i try to describe wat i feel to myself every day but i gues i dont got enough understanding of wat i feel or enough wisdom but i loved the part where u talked about the blurred vision and watching from the theatre and autopilot and the understanding emotions even though uve been so detached thank u for typing this whole paragraph it rlly helps man but did u ever over come it ? This comment is 11 months old so i was wondering if ur still suffering
same here i went through this since at least sophmore year of high school didn't even know it was a condition i just thought i was crazy or living in a fantasy world because my real life sucks. Is this directly related to trauma?
@@leahflower9924 Since it’s been a longtime since you’ve wrote this question I’m sure you’ve already answered your question; but in case you haven’t I’ve noticed that it doesn’t always have to be from trauma but it can also be caused my anxiety, a bad weed trip and probably others.
Joe, I am fighting back tears right now because my 25 y/o Son suffered for eight (8) long years with DPD. As he battled the severe Depersonalization, he fell into extreme depression which was followed by drug use, three unsuccessful suicide attempts and then on June 15th, 2017 he wrote his Mom and me a "Good-Bye" letter and intentionally Over-dosed, which left him brain-dead and ultimately he donated his heart and liver to some more elderly men here in the NJ / NY area. Your Doc / Film here is simply the BEST thing I've seen or read to help describe the disorder to the people who do NOT understand it. I applaud you for your work. SOmeday I hope the Psychiatric community will research the disorder, because more and more people are getting it from strong weed, MDMA, drugs, trauma, etc. etc.....GREAT JOB MY FRIEND - SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO SUFFER WITH DPD......Please hang in there is all I can say !! May someone or something BLESS YOU!
JESUS IS THE ANSWER AND THE ONLY WAY
Dont forget guys... Its temporaily and u will recover, but u have to work on yourself
Thank you! Great job describing the day to day of it. 17+ years now. But mine started as severe PTSD...most of the PTSD symptoms are gone...my body is pretty relaxed and I don’t pay much attention to the DPDR...it’s just an annoyance that it’s still lingering because I’m ready for life. What helped there most with my ptsd symptoms has been Neurofeedback...I’ve recently started back up again focusing on left brain right brain stabilization. Random memories from my past keep popping in everyday which tells me my brain is beginning to connect again. Don’t know how long it will take to fully get there, in reality, but it’s soon enough.
Everyone is different and it takes people different therapies and amounts of time to heal. Good luck to all. 💗
How are you doing now?
How are you doing now ?
To all of you suffering from this condition, healing is possible without meds
I've had depersonalisation for more than half of my life and it's devastating to think of how much I've lost because of it. It's robbed me of my potential in terms of education and work ambition, it's impacted friendships, and I worry that it'll someday take my relationship too. I relate to this video so much, from the way that you experience depersonalisation to the way that others perceive you - people can never quite believe that I have this condition, I'm so bubbly, I'm so happy! But the closer they get, the more apparent my detachment is - I can come across as distant, rude, or like I'm not listening. It's a tremendously difficult condition to live with, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody...that said, there is something unifying in discovering that there are other people out there who, too, suffer with depersonalisation, and it does help me to feel less alone.
I've struggled with this condition for so long: I've fought to understand my own emotions (or lack thereof); I've fought for a diagnosis for years (and have been persistently misdiagnosed/told that I feel 'sad' or 'low' - I wish more doctors would listen when I say I simply feel nothing at all!); I've spent a fortune on private therapy because, for some reason, doctors don't want to let me try any medication other than Sertraline because, if that doesn't work, nothing will. I do feel as if a lack of discussion around depersonalisation is a huge part of the problem, though I am encouraged by other people's stories that they have been able to try various forms of medication or therapy (to varying levels of success). It encourages me to keep trying.
I disagree with a previous comment that somebody left about this being a 'self-pity' disorder - if one thing is for certain, it's that I am determined to beat this thing and I am hellbent on not letting it get in the way of my life. I'm 26 and I feel myself getting older every day; I'm aware of how much I've lost as a result of my depersonalisation, but over the last couple of years I've been trying my best to reignite that light inside of me. To engage in old hobbies. To see the world. To be more social, more connected, more present. It's an uphill battle, and it's certainly difficult to disregard that I have this disorder (how can I stand in the middle of Shibuya, Tokyo, under neon lights, but everything still feels muted..?), but I'm trying my best. I don't pity myself with this disorder; I'm increasingly determined to beat it. But as I said before, the conversation around it needs to improve - whether socially, or in the world of medicine and therapy (one therapist called me an 'anomaly' for feeling this way for so long - not exactly helpful!). This is a very valuable, clear video, Joe - I know I'm a couple of years late to the party, but thanks for sharing.
I'm truly moved by what you had to say. If you feel thats what you have keep checking with more professionals and see. I had this for 16 years and when I was a kid I knew there would be no point in telling my relatives because they would just tell me I didn't get enough sleep or didn't eat well etc so as a kid I was helpless and couldn't get prefessional help because I didn't bother trying to convince my relatives. I got out. How? During a period of depression, I was verbally attacked by someone who I held very dear to me and it opened up horrible memories to the past. I went into smth like PTSD and felt the dam of numbed emotions break down and start raining on me.
Then 2 years with PTSD ish symptoms later (I didnt get any of this diagnosed like you but I didnt get the oppertunity to, its not that the doctors rejected it), I did Melanie Tonia Evans inner child healing (on her website there is this healing method where for free, they make you go into a semi deep sleep and fix up problems in your subconscious). I did that and woke from the sleep free of these dpdr symptoms. I had a spiritual awakening as well and I started to know what it feels to be real again.
I hope and pray you get better too.
shadiya milhan i dont understand how though, i’ve had this for 5-6 years and honestly don’t see how this is any different than schizophrenia. i want this to be gone as well even when i don’t think about it i still feel stuffs wrong. i have the mental health disorder not from having been on weed for so long then having these side effects. i remember the first case back in second grade where i would pinch myself. also i’m not saying you’re not correct, but i just don’t see how you can simply forget about it.
Thank you for sharing this..
Wow, what a moving comment! I am very interested to know, how you are feeling now. What medications do you take? Have your life become more real in terms of emotions?
Jesus is the answer and the only way out
This made me cry. I’ve been feeling like this for a year and a half now and I didn’t know what it was until now.
Have you seen his other channel already th-cam.com/channels/LWBz3-L508RX3QtwI7BJZw.html
Excellent video, thank you. I've had DPDR since I was 7. I'm now 55. I do have brief periods of 'clarity' but always returns. This video is the closest to explaining depersonalisation although I still have extreme derealisation at times which is when I stay home. Little tip, if you feel like people can see there's something wrong with you (although they can't) I find that wearing sunglasses seems to help me with confidence to go outside. Thanks again I'll be showing this video to those who know of my condition to help them try to understand. Best wishes 💜
I watch this video every day just to know I’m not alone
God bless
to get better, stop watching these videos. don’t obsess over it. i know that is really hard when feeling emotionally numb, but trust me, doing the things you used to love and getting some physical activity will seriously help. I’m starting to recover after just 2 months. it gets better. i promise. you are not alone at all. god bless you.
@@patrickcampbell815 i rlly do hope it gets better ive been suffering for so long it good to know that im not alone
Which is a mistake because that way you are constantly reminding yourself that you have it. The key is to not pay attention to it.
@@pollynlyubenova8365 I suppose that's true yeah
This video describes really well dp/dr disorder...
I’ve suffered from dp and dr for almost 4 years now (and I still do). It’s really hard, I ask myself everyday, I wonder if I’m gonna feel real again one day, I wonder if everything I did during those 4 years are actually real, if all those people I met during this long period, are real... I wonder if im crazy, if I made up all of this... I feel less and less like an actual person, I feel so fvckin tired of this sensation. I don’t recognize myself anymore, I feel like I’m watching a movie, everyone is just so...weird. Everyone feels alien-like... when I look at my own hands, I don’t even know if they are mine?? Well, logically, they are mine, but it just doesn’t feel like it???
I don’t know how to explain that, you should experience dp/dr to understand...
Sometimes I just think about taking my own life, i think it would be easier like that.
This feeling is so so scary and I hope that someday, I’ll wake up from this nightmare. Not only me, but also you, you are not alone. Don’t ever forget that dp/dr is not your enemy, but only an overprotective friend. Don’t forget that you are not in danger, you are safe. You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. We’re all going through this. So please, don’t give up. I know you can do it. I love you. ❤️
i love you too! :(
has anyone tried detoxing metals out of our systems? They contribute to our bodies dysfunctions. There is TRX therapy and also BOO is another miracle. I am going to try these. They are supposed to get rid of parasites which have a merry field day with us if out of balance.
Survivor of CPTSD. Depersonalisation/derealisation/quite borderline/severe OCD and Avoidant personality disorder.
every day I dream in my sleep ..in days also(when I sleep in day time) ...they seem to be so real ... I hope one day i will beat this shitty situation ..and regularly taking medicines since 2015 ..hope for the better tomorrow....i know its curable ...so make yourself busy doing you like without thinking about dpdr..just make yourself busy..dont think too much about this definatly you will beat this ....
This video contains many words I've wanted to say for so long... So so long
Made me cry... Lived with this for 7 years now.. Every day. Every waking moment... And no one understands. so this really hit my heart. and made me FEEL.
Hang in there. This is exactly what I go through 24/7 as well. we can do it!
@@allysonstumpf5691 hey there I wanted to ask if I could talk to you and ddd I would like to see how others feels had it for 1 year now never was the same since I have to talk to someone
@@isaiahgarcia4815 of course! I would be willing to talk
I am too nervous to tell anybody I don't know what to do
No big story here. Nothing really to say. You know why I am here. There is nothing that can be said better than what you just watched. Maybe there can. I don't care.
Its hard to explain it to people who dont go through it. Most people of I told them would call me insane but I wouldnt wish this upon my worst enemy.
*DON'T LOSE HOPE* I suffered from depersonalization/derealization/horrible anxiety for several years when I was is in my '20s; every fucking day was like a bad dream for me. But I eventually pulled out of it. I'm not exactly mentally "well" now, but at least I'm no longer walking around in a nightmare.
How did you do it ?
Jesus is the answer ❤
Back to normal after 19 years.
God helps! Please pray to God!
My god my life...Dude if you see this please join my Discord server I want to talk to you and you join my dpdr community... thanks
this is absolutely amazing, i’m been suffering dpd for 7 months now, such a scary world i’m living in right now. forever wishing life goes back to normality. thank you for this video, it explains it so much
How are you doing now?
Ivsuffer since 3 month and i can't imagine how o should do it for more
do you ever feel normal like its real but at the same time you dont , its like youre questioning in your head if this is real , but at the same time you know it is and you keep doing example washing the dishes or sum?
Jesus is the answer
@@jennekab9124Jesus is the answer ❤
My derealization started around the beginning of the pandemic and has continued to this day :(
How's it going?
@@SomethingWet I'm actually doing a lot better now. I still deal with derealization but it's not that bad anymore! I appreciate you asking that. It made my day :)
Takes guts and braveness to put this out there, good on you...I suffer from some stuff myself, my days are a struggle in different ways. I feel for you and I think I can empathize...we all have our own crosses to bare, the only choice we have is to push forward and do our best, we can’t be so hard on ourselves. Watching the vid made me think of the Radiohead song How To Disappear Completely. This condition clearly needs more public awareness, you’ve definitely helped in that regard. And you’re a personable/well spoken and talented guy, take comfort in your strengths and the gifts that you possess. In the end, we’re all just trying to get through and do the best we can...kudos to you, you’re not alone.
i can feel ur pain,i have this for 3 years now and its really frustating when other say that its just in ur head and when they say its just a thought
This video is on point, thank you for doing it and opening the eyes for many many people. Hang in there 😀
I've had it ever since I remember myself and I'm only 15. I have started to deal with severe anxiety and panic disorder the past couple of months and I feel like I'm completely losing my mind. I have become very suicidal and I don't know what to do anymore. I have my mom's and sister's support. I have pills prescribed and go to therapy. But it's there. And I don't know what it's like for it to not be there.
I hate the fact that i relate to everything said in this video.
I don't really know where to get help.
I'm still only a minor, just a teen
I shouldn't have to be going through this at my age
You have to talk to your doctor for a referral to a physiatrist/psychologist. I left it till a few years ago after suffering over 40years and to scared to confide in anyone. There are grounding techniques, books and therapy that can help but having an actual diagnosis was a strange relief for me. The mistake I made was going through this my whole life alone. Before going to the doctor make a list of your symptoms and feelings and don't worry if you break down. I did and within 2weeks I was seen by a psychologist who then sent me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me on the spot. The hardest part is opening up. You're not alone🙏💜
I’ve never heard of this before. Thank you for sharing, Joe. I hope you’re able to stay vigilant and be strong. Your videos are great. Informative and helpful. Please keep making them
Very relatable. I only started experiencing dpd about 2 months ago, and it was very scary in the beginning. Such a crazy feeling that Is so hard to explain. I felt like I was crazy when I was trying to explain it to other people. Grounding techniques help somewhat, but I'm just ready to feel 'normal' again.
Same it sucks
Jesus, Joe. I had no idea. Your gear reviews are killer. I get overwhelmed when I think about what the other 8 billion people on earth are doing and what I'm missing out on, but from time to time I truly enjoy being in the wonders of nature or deeply connecting with my wife, my 2 year old son or my best friend. Most of the time I'm just going through the motions of the day to day daily grind, but nothing I'm enduring compares to your daily struggles. All I can say is thanks for your bravery in sharing this with us, and I truly hope things get better for you in the future. Cheers! :)
idk if this is just me but it puts my hearing into a scenic mode, like my brain flips a switch after i talk and it sends me into heavy dissociation, it’s hard to explain really, just imagine saying something and then detaching from yourself so bad that you feel like u didn’t say what u just said and someone else did
This video was really powerful. I’ve had depersonalization 24/7 for 6 years now. I woke up with it after having too much weed. It hasn’t gone anywhere since. I had depersonalization for a few years in middle/high school and I did recover somehow. However I don’t know if I’ll ever recover this time.
Going thru this right now cuz im stressed out yall pray for me that i sleep it off 🙏🫡
I've been through a very bad period because of anxiety and what I believe was depersonalization because of anxiety, I went to the Psychologist, they were very terrible thoughts that I believe that if God hadn't acted, I wouldn't be here today. I know it's hard when it feels like you're not you, or that you're like inside yourself. Or until nothing is real. (symptoms of such mental illnesses; Derealization, depersonalization…), I can only say that my salvation for this, was to know God. He is the only one who can heal us, only Jesus. I know it's a very common topic "Jesus heals" "Jesus knows everything", etc... but when I met Jesus (because I already knew, but I didn't really know who he was and stuff... I knew he was God and that he could forgive me..things that almost everyone knows), with 1 prayer people 1 simple prayer, he freed me from this intense suffering, I realized when I met him, that yes, Jesus heals, yes Jesus knows everything, and he also saves.
I've met God, and I just know that he loved me, that he cares for me, and I know that after I got to know him a little bit more, He saved me. I am still not a bishop, nor a missionary, I am nothing, simply someone whom Jesus healed, HE show me my purpose in this life, and show me the meaning of life. As he has saved me I want him to save you because I know how difficult it is to go through mental issues. I ask to you: Please , pray, pray even today, it can be hidden in your room, it can be in the kitchen, on the couch, at school, just pray: tell him what you feel, what you need, your dreams, and deliver everything in his hands, including yourself, please ask him for help you and ask him to get this problem out of your mind, and if you have more, you can ask too (anxiety, stress…etc) Go to some church, and don't get carried away by the prejudice, for there may be your cure, and salvation. I hope this message can reach you, and give you hope, just as God once gave me.
God bless you, and reminder: Jesus loves you, and so do I. (If you want to ask me any questions, or just need to talk to someone, it can be here, or on Instagram @jesuslovesyou7799)
ive been like this since i was small there are days when i dont know why to anything, days when i look at myself like a stranger, im an actor in a play that i dont recgonise. One day enough will be enough im glad finally there are other people that have this and maybe it will be a recognised disorder but for me it will all be too late
It is a recognized disorder in the DSM 5 p302. Please don't give up. There are treatments for it and CBT therapy you can do. There are research done on it that says that it is biological, related to brain signals technically neurological, another study talked about the ears playing a role in it so do not beat up yourself. It is not your fault if it happens. Get some mental health therapy. It had disappeared on some people. Look into holistic ways too but please don't give up
I feel u
I'm so happy I found this video! I didn't know what kind of problem I have until I found that word: Depersonalisation. It's terrible not being able to feel anything. I just feel numb and dream of becoming the old me. Back then, before I had this problem, I had emotions and saw the beauty everywhere, but not anymore. I don't have a simple depression, that's what my doctors have been telling me the whole past year.
Jesus is the answer
Sorry to hear you've had DPD for over a decade. I first began to experince chronic DPD 9.5 months ago and it made me suicidal for the first 4 months. It's a trip man, very wild stuff. Anyways thanks for making this video and sharing it.
Hello people, I think that it will soon be about 3 years with DPDR. The biggest problem for me is that I still can not find the cause of the condition. I have never tried any drugs, I do not remember ever experiencing big stressful experiences, traumas, etc. Some things i could say about myself are that by nature I am shy, I have a more excitable nervous system and a deep thinkerst brain with flying crazy and stupid thoughts.
Does anyone have an idea how to find the reason for the triggering, because by path of logic there must be some reason, why else does it still continuing ?
Is there someone like me out there with whom we could be mutually beneficial ?
DSBM in the background fits the film.. I've been dealing with depersonalization for 16 years.. It helps me in a way.
I can't remember much but the things I do remember are being seen in a birdseye view perspective like I'm witnessing it in someone else's eyes watching me do something and because I don't remember much I feel like the people that I've known my whole life are strangers. idrk but when he was describing how things pass by in an instant but very slow it's wild that I understand that completely.
I'm 25, and I remeber glimpses of reality until 5, I just accepted it and continued with my life.
Two years ago I found out the term DPDR and ever since tried to explained it to my friends and family, most of them wouldn't understand of course.
I recently was told there is a therapy called EMDR which can help with traumas and perhaps make me feel the world again.
When said people can't people you going to a mental hospital my heart jumped. Thats exactly me everyone thinks I'm fine cause I can smile and laugh. I manage bills heck I'm a asstinance manager for crying out loud but inside nothing. I even have trouble loving my kids. Like I'm not living my own life or I can't feel my own emotions. I just found out I have this. I know it must have been hard to film this but thank you so much really. To have a video to show myself and others what i go though is so much greater then any meds. Thank you and stay strong it will get better.
I’ve known I had severe disassociation since I briefly looked into the condition last year as I was looking into Borderline after being diagnosed with that (BPD) at the VA. This morning, while reading one of my books on the affects of parent(s) with narsisism, I ran across the different disassociation disorders and was surprised that I was never diagnosed. I’ve known I’m different for a long time now. Ive detailed to clinicians my recounts of staring at my self from above at an angle like I was in a movie. Also, not being in touch with feelings. I mean, I could check every box and not just occasionally. This is everyday. I don’t understand why more clinicians are not trained in detecting this disorder. Well, it’s good to know
Genius film mate.
Man thank you for this video. This really helps to explain to people what it is. Although even this video dosnt truly explain what it's like.
hello man, what pedal do you use for the electric guitar in the background sound? it's AMAZING! please I need to know
He Put into words something I've struggled to for a long time. And the ending really hit me hard don't skip to the end. Watch the video uninterrupted and feel the thing return that was taken from you. The read more gives the answer.
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Color.. the vibrance and the beauty.
Why did I know this kid would be a metalhead???
It's terrifying how much I relate to this, especially that he's a Metalhead called Joe...
Maybe the rock chic in me caused mine too 😁
I've had this on and off since taking ecstacy when i was 19 (36 now). It seems to rear its head whenever any life event occurs. Only thing I can get pleasure from is weed smoking which I'm pretty sure isn't helping. Its led me to spend my 20s hiding in my childhood bedroom, and losing all my friends and any hope of a relationship/family. It got better but was still there a few years ago when I stopped smoking weed and got into cycling and I managed to at least get myself into stable (relativley well paid) employment and my own place. Since I injured my knee and couldn't ride my bike in 2019 I started smoking again, then covid came and its been constant pretty much ever since. Going to attempt to stop smoking again, buts its the only bit of pleasure I have in my life at the moment, but even that doesn't make me feel better it just stops me caring that I've wasted my youth fighting my own head.
U same like me bro.. im very scare . .
I am 24 years old
2 years ago i was suffuring from this bad hunting scary gost
Just be patiance and believe in god and youself it will be so hard but don’t forgive up stay strong and let medicine and doctors help you
Good luck for all suffuring…❤
I look in the mirror and I have no clue who i am facing... I can't recognize myself, I am somewhere there, but lost .. May God help us all ! ❤️
I’m really sorry you are going through this I’m going through it right now and had a episode that lasted over 2 weeks I was literally about to kill myself because I couldn’t take it anymore I couldn’t imagine going through it everyday or 24/7 I do have episodes everyday but they usually only last a couple hours your a very strong person and I admire you and all the people in the comment section that is going through dpd love you all stay strong
I'm 14 , started 8 months ago.
It started when i was 10 now im 16
I’m 15 and it started 2 months ago because I had a bad experience the second time I took a weed edible. I only took weed edibles 2 times but I understand it can still cause this disorder. But I’m still in kind of denial.
5yrs and counting. Perfectly explained. Glad to know I'm not crazy
Brother Joe, I did not know you were suffering. I'm so sorry. I did not know such a problem existed. Thanks for sharing and educating me on this. Sending good vibes and prayers to you and all who suffer from this.
Please know that you are not disappearing in so many eyes. All the best.
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🙏
I’m just tired of it man.
For me, everything feels like one long day. When people do things I just feel as if I'm already in a delighted state, nothing else would make me want to feel fulfilled but that what's makes me more anxious and detached lol.
It's as if I hve come out of an ocean and just come into a different world that is like daydreaming and looking at the world from outside. Everything seems like one forever 2d experience.
I'm not sure if I have it or not but periodically I'll go into a state where I feel like I'm living a dream, or looking at my life through a book and I so badly just want to live it for myself. It keeps happening more frequently. I don't know what to do.
had this for 27 years. back in the early 90s no one knew what I had neither did the doctors. I wandered for a decade not knowing and lonely af. I wasn't properly diagnosed until over a decade ago. iv just made peace with it. nothing works or fixes it. I'd love to feel real again just for one hour. it's all I ask.
In my 19th year of this & I’ve just heard of it this week.
Hi Peter, It has been the same for me. I have literally had this not feeling real feeling 24/7 for 27 years as well. Still trying to strategize against this thing but we can't give up. It seems like very little helps but I am trying new strategies and will definitely let my newly found brothers in sisters know of any success. Thanks for sharing your comment.
Sometimes i feel like im in a cycle
I'm suffering from this, i need help
Once I suffer of that thank God that sensation is gone 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
l guess l have diffrent type of dpd cause all l can see is normal person in this video. how can you have dpd and a hobby at the same time? how can you be sure of that hobby is real or the emotions come from that hobby is real? me, and the other hand even typing this comment via screen keyboard on the same couch lm laying over since l wake up this morning cause keyboard waaay too far from me(just 2 metres away) and cannot find any power in me to grab it :)
I am constantly in my head, it just getting worse. It is a challenge every day just trying to stay present. Very difficult for me to function, especially when it comes to time management. It is as if i am rotting away alive as life passes me by.😢😢😢
Everyday feels like today. Like presence
من همیشه این سوال رو از خودم میپرسم که این وضعیت تا کی ادامه داره؟ تا اخر عمرم؟ و هیچ جوابی ندارم
اما وقتی به این فکر میکنم که اگر یروز بمیرم این بیماری هم از بین میره احساس بهتری بهم دست میده!
شاید تا آخرش من مشکل داشته باشم شایدم خوب شم، کی میدونه..
ولی امیدوارم هرکس که از این بیماری رنج میبره یک روز به آرامش برسه!
I'm a nurse and have experienced this for 4 months. I believe its stemed from chronic anxiety and panic disorder. Its horrible. Constant fatigue too. I keep feeling my blood sugar is low..but it isn't. And blood tests normal. But it happens to me at work too and my work is stressful.
Same here. I kept eating thinking I needed more food! Our jobs are very stressful so much pressure put on us. Hope you’re doing better.
My derealization first started one day smoking weed. I got super high and decided to eat a big juicy steak. as I was taking a bite, suddenly I thought to myself “is this juicy delicious steak going into my mouth right now even real?” And that was the beginning to a pretty bad next couple of months. The world seemed to lose its color, it all seemed gloomy and also in slowmotion. I didn’t see the point of anything. I kept going to work and going about my life but it all seemed like a movie being repeated over and over. I tried doing things that would bring me pleasure like eating good foods or doing fun things but I couldn’t find joy in anything. Even sex was pointless. My world was now darker and there was nothing I could do about it, and that terrified me. So that went on for a few months and then I began searching for meaning. I looked at near death experiences and that helped a lot, it gave me some sort of hope. Then I began looking into religion and spiritual ideas, and that helped some more. However, what made a real impact and helped me the most was one day opening the Bible to the book of Ecclesiastes. As I was reading it, it described how I was feeling about life perfectly, all a big blur that had no real meaning. I found it interesting how someone 3,000 years ago was feeling the same thing as me. Then I started thinking that many people before me must have felt this, and that led me into a path of searching. To finalize, today I don’t suffer from DR and it’s been about 2 years since my first experience. I do feel unsure about life once in a while but I quickly shake it off. What helped me? I think it’s the hope I now have. Currently I practice Christianity but I keep an open mind, I search and I search for truth and meaning. Also I believe every feeling we have has a purpose. You feel hungry so you can get up and eat and therefore not die. You feel sexual urges so you can go find a mate to pass on your genes. Well, I also believe your mind does the same. When you feel depressed is because you’re not actualizing your potential and it’s your bodies way of letting you know you need a challenge to overcome. And lastly, I believe jay when you feel unreal, that is your subconscious or soul letting you know that you need to search for meaning. Search all religions, all spiritual ideas, all philosophical thoughts because it might just be the case that God, nature, or the universe is calling you. I don’t believe in accidents, think about our relationship with trees, they give you food and you give them CO2, like that symbiotic relationship is so strange but so common across the whole earth. Truly amazing.
I am 42 years old, I have always been like this, but I have learned to enjoy this state.
I'm still suffering frm dp/dr since 2012. It take 7th yrs to recognise wht it is .it feel unreal my all relationship became unhealthy. Plz frnd tell me hw to beat it...
Me 2 i still dont know till now what is it and what caused it and what is the solution.
Confusion a lot and loneliness
Oh my god. “Can’t watch the video anyways so why film it?” Exactly!!
This video had me in tears, It put feelings that I've felt for years in actually words, and the imagery explained it beautifully. Thank you for saying what so many have trouble saying.
This disorder is the most scary thing I ever experienced
Jesus is the answer ❤
4 years for me.
Yesterday I got high and it felt more real than my usual self.
Anxiety and panic disorder especially bring it on, it's become my new norm after 20 years dissociative disorders seem to get stronger then weeker then stronger. And yes no one around you will ever understand. I'm about to start microdosing shrooms 🤞.
In year 7 of this nonsense I’m ready to be healed
How are you now
Does this disorder make you feel like you have worth thats taken fron you or like you have very low consciousness??
I feel sorry for everybody who suffering from this and i wish yall going to get better asap🙏🏼.
I had Depersonalization for 5 months i got it after getting high with marijuana and not being abled to smoke again for a long time😭, i was feeling like in a dream, and not pay attention, i became a boring person to most of the people. After a long time i started to feel a little better and promised myself that i won’t smoke marijuana ever again. After a long time someone gave me some and i couldn’t refuse it😭🤣. I got high again for a very long time and the next day i was feeling normal again. This made me confused, but it can also make it worse so don’t smoke to get out of it, time is the cure of it :)
I've had derealization since 2011. It's been an ass kicker but it has also forced me to grow and improve in ways I wouldn't have otherwise. It still sucks, but just have to keep hoping for relief one day. Thanks for this video, man. You're not alone!
don't worry guys it goes away without knowing it. i remember not even feeling the touch of someone to my hands. now i am quite better.
That joint fucked me up ! i swear.
i just started crying as soon as you started saying all the stuff you did, i go to the doctors and when i tell them about a constant fog over my eyes and i feel like im not here but i know i am they tell me nothings wrong with me or they dont know why and give me anxiety and depression medication to try 'help' me thats all i get and its destroying everything i know i love, i broke down acouple weeks ago to my girlfriend because i didnt know how i felt i kept telling her i want to end it because im not sure if i love her but i know i do i just physically cant feel that one thing that brought us so close in the first place, if someone who knows about the disorder or even you who made the video please reach out and text me back i think it would be good for me to talk to someone suffering from it, i just really dont know what to do with myself so please anyone just comment i would really appreciate it!!!!
It sucks man I know it.
The best thing you can do is actually stop thinking about and engage in other activities, but of course you will think about it because your experiencing it all the time. I advise you to eat healthy sleep well exercise and medetate on a regular basis. And detoxifie your body from any recreational drugs such as marijuana alcohol coffee (especially from marijuana)
@@tjgaming1616 thanks for replying man I'm trying to eat better foods as all I ate was frozen pizzas and instant foods for years so I'm trying to get myself healthier so I feel more confident to overcome all of this because I think my poor health is playing a big roll with the way I think and I'm going to wait until I've got my eating on track more before I go off the weed as I don't think I could do them both at once but seriously man thank you for commenting I'm trying it's just hard man so thanks alot
@@ttrmx4205 so...did u stop smoking pot?
i had this feeling but now I'm ok and back to reality. Prayers and reading the bible really help.
I am abused.
Wow, so different from my experience. It helps to hear someone else's experience.