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The Complete Implosion of Riverdale

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @malna6220
    @malna6220 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +6519

    Every plot description of Riverdale after Season 2 is equivalent to your mate calling you at 3am, telling you about his nightmare

    • @starmaker75
      @starmaker75 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +175

      I would not be surprised if the writer got their ideas from their dream journal. That will make too munch sense

    • @poisonheart2317
      @poisonheart2317 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +71

      Or that one unemployed friend at 4pm

    • @davidkonevky7372
      @davidkonevky7372 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +58

      @@starmaker75 YOU RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL

    • @DAsrada
      @DAsrada 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +22

      It's like Old World of Darkness lore.

    • @martaiswatchingyoutube5063
      @martaiswatchingyoutube5063 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

      watching the first seasons...I was struggling with a heavy drug addiction - I always thought well - mam was high af thats why that all seemed like a fever dream ...but I guess that wasn't my addiction this time lol

  • @isaacthered
    @isaacthered 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +4922

    Fun fact: When you take your ADHD meds, they don't actually get rid of any ADHD symptoms. The ADHD is instead concentrated and dumped into a random segment of Riverdale's plot.

    • @vladimirlestrad3120
      @vladimirlestrad3120 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +175

      As someone with ADHD, I can attest to this.

    • @EdSigma
      @EdSigma 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +113

      That.. is oddly plausible and would explain a lot.

    • @GoodGirlLuna3
      @GoodGirlLuna3 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +49

      I have a lot of it, can I just ship my ADHD off to them instead?

    • @VultureSkins
      @VultureSkins 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +25

      @@EdSigma please don’t say it’s “oddly plausible”, science is real.

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

      @@GoodGirlLuna3 yeah but you'll have to pay for shipping yourself

  • @Lysander45
    @Lysander45 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +1825

    "Oh, Archie, you haven't even been skewered by the Lance of Longinus and forced to begin the Third Impact yet."

    • @DAsrada
      @DAsrada 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +88

      @Lysander45 Ramiel: (transforms into a pink geometric depiction of a cartoon heart)
      Archie: what...what is it saying?
      Jughead: I think it likes you.

    • @Future_Vantas
      @Future_Vantas 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      32:00

    • @Fuecoco_83
      @Fuecoco_83 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

      Did bro predict seasons 8 6th episode?

    • @RRed19
      @RRed19 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

      @@DAsrada Ramiel (Screams Geometrically out of Love)

    • @MR-zt1hh
      @MR-zt1hh 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      EVANGELION MENTIONED 🗣🗣

  • @shinyninja8107
    @shinyninja8107 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +537

    Riverdale is a show that jumps the shark so often that they’re practically kick flipping over it

    • @Birbface
      @Birbface 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +29

      the shark now has writing credits

  • @Kaltagstar96
    @Kaltagstar96 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +4480

    I do love the idea that Archie got so pissed off about someone calling Riverdale a bad town, I mean, it's small town America and seemingly half the population are serial killers. Maybe Pickens had a point, Archie??

    • @ThatRandomEncounterGuy
      @ThatRandomEncounterGuy 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +387

      And don’t forget the other half is just random long-lost “secret” family members who only exist for about 5-10 episodes. Yeah, the town of Shadyside doesn’t have this many serial killers and lunatics. You’ve got at least 5 gangs running around, the mafia, actual literal witches…Archie, do YOU not know the kinda town Riverdale is or do you just have whatever the opposite of city blinders are?

    • @MrSkerpentine
      @MrSkerpentine 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +246

      Like at least it’s POSSIBLE to live in Gotham City without being a supervillain

    • @MarcusFigueras
      @MarcusFigueras 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +188

      Literally no aspect of the town could be considered good. There were at least 5 cults, some running parallel at the same time, various serial killers, and also ARCHIES DAD DIED IN A ROBBERY?

    • @nerdwarp112
      @nerdwarp112 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +92

      @@MarcusFiguerasActually he survived getting shot by the robber, but he later died in a car accident.

    • @RecRoomPlays
      @RecRoomPlays 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +73

      one thing about small town America, if WE call the town dogshit it's all good, but if someone from out of town has the audacity to say it they're gonna catch hands lol

  • @blablablaa14
    @blablablaa14 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +3242

    Every time the second teacher jumps off the window I die laughing. Not because its funny they scripted two people to jump off a window, but because when he ran the second time the other characters reacted fast enough to try to stop him they must have thought "oh shit not another one"

    • @spheromancer_
      @spheromancer_ 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +450

      Not just a window, THE EXACT SAME WINDOW

    • @mageoflight1637
      @mageoflight1637 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +142

      And the exact same music sting (I don't know if that's edited or not, actually, but, if it isn't: That's hilarious.)

    • @mollymcdade4031
      @mollymcdade4031 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +116

      I love that he shouts “Mr Shipman!” in the tone of watching someone cross the road without looking both ways, rather than ‘has just jumped through a window to their death’

    • @VicStrange9
      @VicStrange9 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +26

      You know its fucked up when Darth Maul doesnt wanna be there

    • @kereymckenna4611
      @kereymckenna4611 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +58

      "If I had a nickel for every time a Riverdale teacher jumped out a window. Well I'd have two nickels but still weird that it happened twice"

  • @Wendigoon
    @Wendigoon 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +6864

    A couple years ago my friend told me that Riverdale is his favorite show and he never misses an episode but when I asked if I should watch it he said “absolutely not” and only now do both of those things make sense.

    • @endersteph
      @endersteph 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +278

      the wendigooner is here

    • @ConnorEduard
      @ConnorEduard 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +141

      Gooner moment

    • @IvanAlexandrovi4
      @IvanAlexandrovi4 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +61

      ​@@ConnorEduardthat's not very Christian

    • @DAsrada
      @DAsrada 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +113

      @IvanAlexandrovi4 it is if you go into confessional and immediately spank the monkey then apologize to your presumably mortified priest.

    • @boqk
      @boqk 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

      Yeah, sounds about right

  • @hellishrain1835
    @hellishrain1835 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +255

    As a lifelong wrestling fan who’s currently 16 minutes into the video, the WCW comparison is so real. Setting up angles to go nowhere and not knowing what to do after. If you told me Vince Russo was a writer for Riverdale, I’d believe you

    • @eliasmg9144
      @eliasmg9144 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I will damn the finger poke of doom as the death of modern wrestling and I wasn't even born yet by that point

  • @0uttaS1TE
    @0uttaS1TE 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +9762

    Eyepatch Wolf returning to Riverdale feels like the TH-cam version of James going to Silent Hill.

    • @KingMonkeyMon
      @KingMonkeyMon 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +128

      He shouldve returned to Lakedale.

    • @claytonrios1
      @claytonrios1 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +82

      Speaking of which, is the Eyepatch Wolf going to go back to Silent Hill one more time for the remake of 2?

    • @redundantfridge9764
      @redundantfridge9764 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +150

      I'm pretty sure James Sunderland would be the most normal individual in Riverdale if he went there.

    • @rotomfan63
      @rotomfan63 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +31

      Me and the boys when it gets foggy

    • @claytonrios1
      @claytonrios1 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +42

      @@redundantfridge9764 I think Eddie would fit right into Riverdale.

  • @amy_grace
    @amy_grace 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +763

    Riverdale is what happens when a writer's room is a little too good at "Yes, and…"

  • @wurtknurte7283
    @wurtknurte7283 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +4071

    Riverdale happens when you ask, "How many plots can we put in a show?" and nobody tries to stop you.

    • @bizarroman69
      @bizarroman69 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +68

      Yes, the answer is "yes"

    • @zero1188
      @zero1188 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +23

      Would of been better if show started from sesson 4. Crazy plots is good if it started off like this

    • @Temudhun
      @Temudhun 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +55

      @@zero1188 But then we wouldn't have had the absolute madness of season 3 moonwalking over the shark's corpse out of a nuclear explosion in space!

    • @BeersAndBeatsPDX
      @BeersAndBeatsPDX 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      It seems like Twin Peaks for teens

    • @frankieseward8667
      @frankieseward8667 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      ​@@BeersAndBeatsPDXminus any meaningful introspection and subtly

  • @ianr7014
    @ianr7014 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +833

    Watching this video made me realize that Riverdale should’ve just been a series where every season is a retelling of how Archie ends up choosing either Betty or Veronica- only explored across different genres and alternate universes.
    You could’ve had all those great character actors get rotated around to play different roles while avoiding the constant need to outdo the last insane stunt you did in a previous season.
    You could even give each character a chance at being the “Archie” of a season.

    • @namemycactus
      @namemycactus 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +54

      That is a genius idea! I'm genuinely sad they didn't think of that and I didn't even watch this show 😂

    • @yuri_cobaia
      @yuri_cobaia 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      Wow amazing idea, imagine if Riverdale was somekind of Silent Hill or Kurouzu-cho where every year (season for us) they reset their stories or shit like that

  • @jor4114
    @jor4114 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +3340

    The way you talk about this show, Frieza's spaceship landing on Riverdale in season 7 sounds like a completely plausible thing to happen.

    • @Nope-bl3ig
      @Nope-bl3ig 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +225

      Archie 100% solos Frieza

    • @AgentHeroic
      @AgentHeroic 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +93

      Too tame, if Superman and Goku had a battle for the multiverse, it would just be a Tuesday night

    • @sarafontanini7051
      @sarafontanini7051 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +74

      also frieza is hiram lodge

    • @JG-pt3xe
      @JG-pt3xe 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +73

      Archie challenges Frieza to a bare knuckled boxing match

    • @JG-pt3xe
      @JG-pt3xe 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +106

      @@sarafontanini7051 Frieza wants to destroy Riverdale. Not the planet, just Riverdale.

  • @kingsleycy3450
    @kingsleycy3450 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1866

    Riverdale heard people would watch anything with attractive people in it and saw it as a challenge

    • @vitoc8454
      @vitoc8454 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +100

      "Story in a video game is like story in a porn movie. It's expected to be there, but it's not that important."
      -John Carmack (one of the developers of Doom)

    • @Nikkibuh
      @Nikkibuh 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +95

      @@vitoc8454 maybe one of the silliest things he's ever said

    • @nahometesfay1112
      @nahometesfay1112 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +43

      ​@@NikkibuhDepends on the game

    • @hariman7727
      @hariman7727 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +73

      @@Nikkibuh It works perfectly for Doom. That game is "Open fire, kill demons, dodge and explore too, don't die."
      >.> Now a game WITH story like Undertale, Skies of Arcadia, Radiant Historia, Sands of Destruction, and Tales of Symphonia? They're great too.

    • @ekki1993
      @ekki1993 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

      ​@@nahometesfay1112But that's the thing. It doesn't work for a lot of other games.

  • @Moperandi-k3x
    @Moperandi-k3x 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1181

    Telling Archie that he's in the most idyllic form of reality possible while including the Emmett Till murder in that reality is certainly something.

    • @oogaboogabe3464
      @oogaboogabe3464 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +147

      "Best of all possible worlds" my ass

    • @ohok45624
      @ohok45624 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +48

      My jaw dropped although I'm not sure you could convince anyone of a perfect reality where the divergence is so small...maybe a perfect reality for the main character(s) though then that still means perfect reality for them includes bigotry so doesn't really matter.

    • @rancorious7785
      @rancorious7785 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +22

      @@ohok45624Riverdale’s world is just that cursed.

    • @orteney.
      @orteney. 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      to be fair, the actual context is that before tabitha wiped his memories she gave him a task to “bend the world towards justice” so that the future will be one where they don’t constantly die, and when she gives his memory back - she’s saying that the things they helped accomplish have done that - and will make the future a better place.

    • @exzyyd392
      @exzyyd392 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      That just means every other version of reality possible is that much worse. A jail cell with a bed is better than an empty one but it still sucks

  • @GambitRaps
    @GambitRaps 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +27

    This is the only channel that could make me watch two separate hour long videos about a television series I’ve never watched.

  • @cthellis
    @cthellis 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1748

    “…that stripper who asked ‘Are you SuperEyepatchWolf?’”
    WAT

    • @roryschussler
      @roryschussler 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +254

      Look up his podcast, Versus Wolves. it's in the beginning of the second episode, "Complete Failure v Fear and Hunger" about 20 minutes in.

    • @FaelumbreProject
      @FaelumbreProject 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +137

      emphasizing what roryschussler said, the entire situation is even funnier than just that quote alone

    • @arubinojr5670
      @arubinojr5670 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +52

      Wat wat. A stripper asked him if he was SuperEyepatchWolf. As it turned out, he was.

    • @cthellis
      @cthellis 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      @ Shocking if true.

    • @BeepSmile
      @BeepSmile 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +73

      @@cthellis It's true, SuperEyepatchWolf is SuperEyepatchWolf.
      Source: I was the stripper.

  • @anaclara-kh2di
    @anaclara-kh2di 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2709

    you know what...back in my tumblr days, people used to toss around the idea of a show where every episode/season would be a different alternative universe with the same characters but only the protagonist retains the memories and travels between dimensions while trying to come back to the "original" one, this is kinda that...but without fully commiting to the bit. TO WHICH I SAY: COWARDS

    • @canonicallykayfabe
      @canonicallykayfabe 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +88

      I remember prompts like this !!! That's so true tho actually

    • @lizardqueen273
      @lizardqueen273 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +63

      I had an idea for a book a lot like that in middle school actually, except no one remembered it was just a bunch of short stories of characters in a bunch of alternate universes. I actually wrote a little bit of it I think. There was a short "introduction" chapter that was like normal "slice of life" stuff, and a longer medieval fantasy one I maybe got 1/3 of the way through. I'm randomly also recalling another story I'd started writing but I can't recall if that was related.

    • @gasterblaster9817
      @gasterblaster9817 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +96

      Isn't that just Higurashi tho?

    • @TwiGav
      @TwiGav 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +24

      @@gasterblaster9817 thought the exact same thing upon reading this comment

    • @dragocrafterr8286
      @dragocrafterr8286 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

      you gotta send your tumblr friends higurashi or muv luv

  • @perrisavallon5170
    @perrisavallon5170 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +856

    Of all the insane shit I've heard about this show, I legit did not expect it to suddenly turn back into a normal teen drama in its final season. The craziest twist of all - becoming normal again. Truly a masterpiece of television.

    • @vitoc8454
      @vitoc8454 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +123

      Rebuild of Riverdalion 6.0 + 1.0: You Can (Not) Keep Making New Seasons

    • @KaiInMotion
      @KaiInMotion 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +41

      I mean normal for Riverdale still includes secret siblings, murders, fraud, Russian spies, magical televisions, angels weaving universes together, a teen girl owning and running a movie theater.

    • @idrewagiraffe
      @idrewagiraffe 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +24

      I mean, I'm surprised he didn't talk about the actual ending of the show because the final episode is pretty crazy, and sort of impactful? Like, it's insane, but the ending is kind of good and there's a lot to talk about there. Pretty bummed he gave up before he - NEVERMIND IVE SPOKEN TOO SOON HHES JUST STARTED TALKING ABOUT IT IGNORE ME

    • @cahleytheoneandonly5988
      @cahleytheoneandonly5988 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      The last episode of that season is Betty's dying dream in which she is guided through things she forgot by ghost Jughead. The most absurd being the polyamorous relationship she was in with all of the other main characters, except Archie and Jughead don't kiss because that would be gay.

    • @KaiInMotion
      @KaiInMotion 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      @cahleytheoneandonly5988 but it IS implied Archie and Reggie had a gay encounter after their threesome with an older woman because why not it's Riverdale

  • @hrmnzdmatryoshka
    @hrmnzdmatryoshka 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +62

    This video is absolutely amazing. The narration sounding like a person on the cusp of a break down. The constant cuts to more information. The falling boards. The FD cameo. Amazing video

  • @TheThomasCW
    @TheThomasCW 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1267

    "-where he does what all irritating men threaten to do- he writes a book." My ass was not ready for how fucking excellent Super Eye Patch Wolf's deadpan delivery of that killer line was.

    • @CassandraY
      @CassandraY 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +27

      His deadpan delivery gives me life. It's not often I find someone as sarcastic as I am, but I am HERE FOR IT!

    • @nidhishshivashankar4885
      @nidhishshivashankar4885 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thanks for spoiling : - )

    • @Gender_Ascender
      @Gender_Ascender 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +35

      ​@@nidhishshivashankar4885why are you in the comments expecting no spoilers?

    • @MrLego3160
      @MrLego3160 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +31

      @@nidhishshivashankar4885 turns out a place for discussing the video has discussion of the video.

    • @dracocrusher
      @dracocrusher 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

      I can never get over Jughead's recurring character arc of being an author that DESPISES writing and needs all the drugs and excuses in the world to get through the hobby that actively makes him miserable. He's not even that good at it, he loses the college mystery story contest, but he's determined to do it no matter what!
      Which is why it's so hilarious to me when the Devil gives him an out and Jughead is able to trade this thing he sucks at that he hates doing for all the money and fame in the world. And, instead of sticking with that, he just goes "But- My words mean things-!" and gets right back into it JUST to make shitty comic books anyways, lol!
      Jughead UNTRADED HIS SOUL to be a Novelist just to NOT BE A NOVELIST in the same season!

  • @patricknguyen7530
    @patricknguyen7530 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1086

    At this point, Riverdale could have had the cast become Stand users or turn into Kamen Rider and nobody would have batted an eye by this point

    • @PlaylistGeneral
      @PlaylistGeneral 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +79

      DUDE this made me think of Stone Ocean and how the the last third of that had me absolutely spinning as it completely descended into madness. Jojo has the courtesy to edge you into the madness at least.

    • @MitoNova583
      @MitoNova583 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +85

      now I'm reminded of a quiz I took where you had to identify whether a plot point was from JoJo or from Riverdale

    • @jorntumrongwit9056
      @jorntumrongwit9056 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +49

      And so Riverdale became a tokusatsu series
      Would watch

    • @QuartzRoolz
      @QuartzRoolz 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +61

      Tbh the mechanical ant people did look like a kamen rider monster of the week, its not even that far off

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      If only.

  • @dracocrusher
    @dracocrusher 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +893

    My favorite Season 6 moment has to be where Jughead gives up his ability to write to the Devil in exchange for fame and fortune. We then establish everything he tries to write becomes a nonsense scramble of letters before he TAKES BACK THE DEAL by getting a new contract that he SIGNS AND AGREES TO.
    The Devil cursed Jughead with super Dyslexia and he fixes is by WRITING HIS NAME.
    FUCKING GENIUS.

    • @LBAW
      @LBAW 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +102

      I have no idea if this is real or not, and I think I may want to keep it that way.

    • @vitoc8454
      @vitoc8454 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +137

      "Everything he writes is nonsensical" and him being able to write his name perfectly is such a roast from The Devil

    • @OpticalJesu5
      @OpticalJesu5 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +52

      I'm still dealing with the whiplash of the first sentence and you wrote more after that.

    • @tyclips4155
      @tyclips4155 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +25

      I had to read that 3 or 4 times to comprehend it...the first time I thought you meant he gave up his ability to be penpals with the devil.

    • @VultureSkins
      @VultureSkins 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      @@tyclips4155 I did, too!! I was thinking “yeah, I guess if I had the ability to write letters to the devil I’d rather keep it than not, but what is he giving it up in exchange for?” It’s been a long day

  • @samflynn4707
    @samflynn4707 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +65

    "This was never a story, it was a moment" is an unnecessarily hard phrase

  • @ThomasUfnalCrowlake
    @ThomasUfnalCrowlake 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +623

    "Oh, that's right! The mechanical ant-people" is an insane statement

  • @FDSignifire
    @FDSignifire 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +3947

    Ive jobbed John out twice now, i gotta put him over big next encounter

    • @Choco-Rune
      @Choco-Rune 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +166

      The people's jobber 💕

    • @jameer7565
      @jameer7565 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +93

      So cool seeing you here

    • @000Zevuel
      @000Zevuel 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +104

      Been loving seeing you in each other's videos.

    • @ate_my_wheaties
      @ate_my_wheaties 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +90

      I busted up at that one single line

    • @kazooka12
      @kazooka12 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +61

      Perfect line reading there

  • @ParaR0tting
    @ParaR0tting 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2528

    23:55 "That time a stripper asked me if I was Super Eyepatch Wolf" I'M SORRY I NEED YOU TO ELABORATE ON THAT

    • @Hy93Ri0n
      @Hy93Ri0n 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      his friends paid the stripper to say that to him as a prank

    • @roryschussler
      @roryschussler 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +495

      Look up the podcast "Versus Wolves". It's in the beginning of the second episode, "Complete Failure v Fear and Hunger"

    • @CrackedDota
      @CrackedDota 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +211

      V.S. Wolves podcast. Fear and hunger episode, about 20 minutes in, but watch the whole thing. (Hell watch all th3 episodes)

    • @JohnDoe-uf3lj
      @JohnDoe-uf3lj 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +111

      There’s even an animation of it on TH-cam!

    • @ParaR0tting
      @ParaR0tting 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +34

      @@roryschussler Oh nice! thanks for telling me :D

  • @-grey
    @-grey 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +170

    I am starting to believe that Riverdale is being made by Abed. He somehow escaped the fictional claws of community and run amok.

    • @chibiktsn3
      @chibiktsn3 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Abed started writing the script, the Britta accidentally destroyed it and tried to recreate it from memory

    • @eviemelie3014
      @eviemelie3014 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      It’s like he began making an incredibly detailed, masterpiece of fiction for a class and halfway through Jeff decided that they needed to complete it as soon as possible because of a deadline

  • @KalCounty
    @KalCounty 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +381

    This show plays out like the writers wanted to get fired so they continually made the show stupider and stupider, thinking it would obviously discredit them and get them sacked, but through a series of baffling and extremely unlikely events, the show just kept getting greenlit for another season.

    • @saramoreira9847
      @saramoreira9847 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +46

      I call it the Buggy effect, where for some reason, a thing or person keeps reaching new heights despite their aparent attemps at doing just the opposite. Makes for great comedy for the sheer absurdity of it.

    • @Spacetimefungi
      @Spacetimefungi 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +20

      That's basically the plot of the hilarious french series Serie Noire. A pair of writers writing the most horrible show and feeling terrible about it celebrate the end of season 1 and hopefully the end of having to write this show only to get a devastating call about it's renewal.

    • @draochvar9646
      @draochvar9646 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      ​@@saramoreira9847Ah yes, alternately also known as the Caiaphas Caine paradigm, where, despite the protagonists best effort, the get dragged into unhinged hijinks that somehow result in them stumbling further and further into fame and notoriety ...

    • @iamnibee
      @iamnibee 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      sounds like that one episode of Rocko's Modern Life

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Isn't this the plot of The Producers?

  • @MrDgf97
    @MrDgf97 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1365

    John pronouncing "La Llorona" as "La Lorena" will never stop being funny to me

    • @estebanacostaolivera3232
      @estebanacostaolivera3232 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +102

      Estaba buscando este comentario XD

    • @IV-an
      @IV-an 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +120

      Ngl, I was thinking just the same. Like, "yeah sure Lorena sounds like a nice name for an urban legend why not Riverdale would" without thinking if it was la Llorona

    • @carctct6435
      @carctct6435 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +74

      In personal experience Lorenas are scarier than Llorona

    • @jahipalmer8782
      @jahipalmer8782 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +64

      The first time I thought he just mispoke but the second time I was like "okay he's definitlely doing that on purpose."

    • @spedrun
      @spedrun 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +31

      Actual eternal agony. He says it twice

  • @Zero-mn8bt
    @Zero-mn8bt 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1265

    Insane that the show started as a simple murder mystery, and then many seasons later the main characters get superpowers and ended up creating multiple timelines

    • @shawnheatherly
      @shawnheatherly 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +87

      So it's JoJo.

    • @pz_not_ez
      @pz_not_ez 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +24

      Its own style of The Fast and the Furious

    • @breadeater1194
      @breadeater1194 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Twin Peaks

    • @henryapplebottom7231
      @henryapplebottom7231 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

      Did we ever...
      Did we ever solve that murder mystery?
      I feel like we didn't.

    • @starmaker75
      @starmaker75 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      Undertale fanworks and jojo be like

  • @NaybOrkana
    @NaybOrkana 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +33

    goddamn man, I would love to have more friends who are this passionate about random pieces of media and what they mean, but also I wish I was able to put myself out there in this way, insecurities and all. I love you, man. You're so cool

  • @ruutti90
    @ruutti90 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +409

    "Riverdale is like early 2000 WCW"
    As a wrestling fan, there could not be a worse insult that could be said about this show. Nothing made sense and nothing mattered. Shit happened that was never explained, because more crazy stupid shit needed to happen.

    • @OtakuUnitedStudio
      @OtakuUnitedStudio 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      That also happened in Riverdale but to a lesser degree. It's similar, not identical.

    • @everforward5561
      @everforward5561 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +46

      It was an awful time if you were a fan of wrestling, but a great time if you were a fan of chaos.

    • @Champiness
      @Champiness 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +25

      at last the Vince Russo Teen Drama

    • @hariman7727
      @hariman7727 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      EXACTLY.

  • @kalanielibrenoklinke9440
    @kalanielibrenoklinke9440 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1399

    It says a lot about the shows creators that queer people can have an idealized homophobia-free-50's but black people have to witness the pain of that era. Like, even if you're not going to do it justice, at least commit to being semi realistic with all social issues, or just embrace the escapism

    • @leviticusprime4904
      @leviticusprime4904 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +64

      Insert joke of progressives here.

    • @AzraelNewtype0079
      @AzraelNewtype0079 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +115

      A thing he sort of chose not to mention in the video is that the explicit point of Angel Tabitha dumping the team in this spot in the timeline was so that they could make a better future where racist wizard Percival Pickens cannot rise to power and cast Meteor, because Cheryl actually failed to stop it. This fact doesn't make it any less jarring, but fighting injustice with Riverdale levels of subtlety is the point.
      Also it's by no means homophobia free. Yes that scene with the cheerleaders happens, but it was brought on by Past Evelyn (who is no longer an adult luring victims into her husband's cult, presumably) basically forcing the issue as she caught them and is not on board. There's also a huge running plot about a blatant expy of Frederic Wertham researching for and then writing Seduction of the Innocent, fighting against the depravity of teenage sexuality brought on by comic books. It pointedly chooses to ignore that Archie Comics falling in line and going hardcore into sanitized Americana made them one of the chief benefactors of the Comics Code Authority era, while Jughead is working for a blatant expy of EC Comics whose comics production essentially ceased under the strain.

    • @emexdizzy
      @emexdizzy 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +88

      Delving into this even more, I think this disparity between the depiction of Black History and Queer History is fascinating simply because it does compare and contrast the state of both representation and of knowledge of both groups. On one hand, a 50s experience free of the homophobia of the age feels like rapturous escapism, but is often born from ignorance. We all know the rough beats of the Black Civil Rights movement, but the knowledge of the Gay Civil Rights movement is a lot more obscured. Depiction of Black struggle, though, if it's a sloppy depiction that reinforces misinformed tropes about racism, isn't necessarily better. We know the major beats of Black History, but not well enough to see their legacy into the present day. We have two different inaccurate retellings of the lives of marginalized Americans, and I don't think there is an easy answer to the simplistic question of if it's better to be accepted and have your history of struggle denied, or is it better to have that painful struggle be presented sloppily in escapist media.

    • @lman318
      @lman318 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +48

      @@emexdizzy I don't think either is better, because both storylines SUCK. Dying on a social justice hill doesn't really matter if the end product isn't a good story at its foundation, as all it does is make people go "what the hell" and give ammo to the "forced diversity" crackpots.

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      ​@@AzraelNewtype0079 I have no clue how to feel about everything you just wrote

  • @KingOfDarknessAndEvil
    @KingOfDarknessAndEvil 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1463

    Hunter x Hunter: "Why you should watch Hunter x Hunter"
    Shenmue 3: "Why you shouldn't play Shenmue 3"
    Riverdale: "Why"

    • @lordofhnajuty
      @lordofhnajuty 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +43

      No, I think you mean
      Riverdale: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! >: O

    • @70Lu07
      @70Lu07 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +23

      More like
      Riverdale: What?

    • @TextualDeviant
      @TextualDeviant 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      More like
      Riverdale: "Wh-"

    • @Masterge77
      @Masterge77 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      Riverdale: "Why is Riverdale a thing in the first place"

    • @jabrondestoroyah
      @jabrondestoroyah 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Generating "why"s is the purpose. It is so dumb that is the only reason for its existence.

  • @Caldkay
    @Caldkay 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +45

    Wild that if they had actually made Jughead ace, then by season 6 we would have apparently had a show with five separate ace characters.
    Who are all just Jughead.

  • @samwatson-tayler2805
    @samwatson-tayler2805 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +289

    22 serial killers in this one middle of nowhere town. I remember reading somewhere that there is a maximum of 12 active serial killers in the entire United States at any given time. How is there anyone still alive in Riverdale?

    • @starmaker75
      @starmaker75 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +58

      Seriously more then 12 serial killers in the USA would make the country go into a moral panic. I'm surprised that goverment at this point wouldn't contain it. Gravity falls, Or and twins peak is more safe then Riverdale

    • @DeMonOfRainingDay
      @DeMonOfRainingDay 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

      Well, it's not like they are all active at the same time. Plus when serial killers show up Archie and gang end up resolving the problem. Permanently in most cases.

    • @behxdm
      @behxdm 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

      I guess low housing prices

    • @lyndonwesthaven6623
      @lyndonwesthaven6623 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +22

      I gotta say, it knocks Morioh's paltry two in one summer right out of the water

    • @goatskin4487
      @goatskin4487 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      The maximum is like 50 not 12

  • @unironicallylikesranger7122
    @unironicallylikesranger7122 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +479

    When given the options of A, B, and C, both times I genuinely answered “all of the above” both times, because frankly that seemed like the direction things were headed. Kinda surprised it wasn’t if I’m being real.

    • @Kaltagstar96
      @Kaltagstar96 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +51

      I mean, Precival being revealed as Hiram Lodge's secret lover wouldn't have been the worst idea in the world, by Riverdale standards it'd be pretty tame.

    • @veggiedragon1000
      @veggiedragon1000 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      Me too.

    • @mitkitty
      @mitkitty 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I mean both of them were all of thr above, im guessing, because the non-Percival one was actually one i'd learned from osmosis

    • @awp4444
      @awp4444 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      For the second one I thought it was "none of the above" but the real answer was crazier

  • @RBNinja
    @RBNinja 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +290

    Dude, i went on such an emotional roller coaster. My jaw hit the floor when you said that Riverdale had the audacity into include Emmett Till as a plot point and I laughed so hard at the FD cameo that i lost my breath for a second. This is probably the best sequel video essay on youtube.

    • @hariman7727
      @hariman7727 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      My ability to watch this review broke about 30 minutes in. The show is just not my thing, because it wouldn't have gotten to season 7 without wearing the Riverdale skinsuit the same way Disneywars wears the Star Wars skinsuit.

    • @flux_casey
      @flux_casey 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

      @@hariman7727 I think you might be vastly overestimating the brand power Archie comics have nowadays. But then I'm not American so I don't know.

    • @hariman7727
      @hariman7727 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@flux_casey it's not even about the Brand power of Archie.
      It's about taking one of the most wholesome franchises ever and turning it into some twisted Insanity that gets more and more messed up every week.
      It's like seeing the Muppets on sesame Street championing social justice causes and ignoring morality... OH WAIT, that's actually happened too.

    • @flux_casey
      @flux_casey 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +36

      ​@@hariman7727 ... Huh. Well, the merits or perceived insult of taking something that was one way and recreating it in a way the original author never intended is an interesting discussion. But that last paragraph makes it clear it's not a discussion I want to have with *you* specifically. Still, have a nice day.

    • @hariman7727
      @hariman7727 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@flux_casey you do realize that the sesame Street crew had a drag queen on, right?
      I don't say what I say lightly.

  • @ChoyaBird
    @ChoyaBird 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +88

    10:00 : "In a show that is so reliant on escalation, how do you possibly escalate from here?"
    Uh, hi, Supernatural is calling. They beat Lucifer in season 5 and then ran for 10 more.

    • @GoodWitchKirby
      @GoodWitchKirby 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      Who do they fight next? Super satan? Elder gods?

    • @__dj__7608
      @__dj__7608 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      @@GoodWitchKirbyYeah pretty much. God is the final boss.

    • @GoodWitchKirby
      @GoodWitchKirby 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @ Thanks!

    • @ChoyaBird
      @ChoyaBird 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      ​@@GoodWitchKirby At one point God's revealed to have an older sister and she becomes a villain.

    • @xwexarexbulletsx
      @xwexarexbulletsx 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      I mean, John basically says "after all that you have done, what could possibly still keep the show good". Which Supernatural shows, the show started to decline and should have not lasted that much.

  • @alicethemad1613
    @alicethemad1613 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +468

    32:00 Alright I have to point it out. These outfits are literally the school uniforms from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Riverdale is a masterpiece.

    • @borjaslamic
      @borjaslamic 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +35

      Yeah it was bothering me from the second he showed us a snippet in the beginning

    • @katfujioka212
      @katfujioka212 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +50

      A lot of the crazier elements of this show make sense if you assume the creator watches anime/is a massive weeb…

    • @johnt.190
      @johnt.190 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

      Apparently Cheryl has contacts at NERV.

    • @petrfedor1851
      @petrfedor1851 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +24

      This show sounds like they have gainax screenwriters locked in basement on cocain

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      ​@@petrfedor1851 oh so that's why they went bankrupt

  • @Louie303
    @Louie303 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +350

    The line delivery of "lives in her walls" at 28:20 is so self-aware of how John recognizes how batshit crazy the show is that I'm not certain he even needed to make two videos about it... But I'm so very happy he did. Loved this one so much!

    • @frodomax277
      @frodomax277 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      or the fact that it is a twist blatantly stolen from a horror movie

    • @MrPokination
      @MrPokination 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      He just sounds so defeated at that point

  • @jl5574
    @jl5574 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +104

    There are so many funny lines in this one but “Betty is the Biblical figure the Whore of Babylon” literally made laugh a horrible wheezing laugh out loud, that was my breaking point.

  • @cindyjemutai9812
    @cindyjemutai9812 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

    I discovered this channel while looking for riverdale reviews that captured the absolute bowl of crazy that the show had turned into. This feels like a full circle moment for me. Thank you Mr eyepatch wolf

  • @punkitt
    @punkitt 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +203

    I think your dedication to meeting this show on its own level is extremely admirable and has changed my view on a lot of media completely

  • @parul7117
    @parul7117 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +471

    for some reason the phrase "narrator Jughead, having been murdered by shadow Archie Andrews" reminded me so strongly of FNAF that I just burst out into uncontrollable laughter (46:36)

    • @JoeChianelli
      @JoeChianelli 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +56

      Definitely FNAF or Kingdom Hearts levels of labyrinthine plot contrivances.

    • @hariman7727
      @hariman7727 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +34

      @@JoeChianelli Please don't insult FNAF or Kingdom Hearts. One of those is trying, and the other at least doesn't wear a classic comic's name and face like a skinsuit.

    • @BriarPatchNyra
      @BriarPatchNyra 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      You’re not wrong

    • @BriarPatchNyra
      @BriarPatchNyra 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@hariman7727preach

    • @senor-achopijo3841
      @senor-achopijo3841 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

      Honestly, even those two franchises start to sound tame by comparison

  • @whitegemgames
    @whitegemgames 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +113

    I’ll probably never watch this show, but I was SO invested hearing you describe the deranged plots and was genuinely leaning in to hear you describe how season six ended.

  • @johnt.190
    @johnt.190 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +115

    38:54 You mean she can sense killing intent. That’s literally the killing intent thing from many an anime.
    Also Veronica basically became a _viṣakanyā,_ a literary figure that appears in Sanskrit literature as a type of assassin used by kings to destroy enemies, gaining their toxic blood and touch via mithridatism.
    39:50 Lou Cypher. I am a Shin Megami Tensei fan. I know the alias of the King of Chaos when I see it. So that guy is Demifiend’s boss.

    • @Rise65487
      @Rise65487 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      aaaaaah that's where i heard the "Lou Cypher" name first, thank you.
      i knew i remembered it from Persona/SMT game but wasn't sure which one, it was Nocturne you're right.
      Completely forgot his name was "Lou Cypher" until he reveal his actual (obvious) identity.

    • @Samm815
      @Samm815 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Louis Cyphre.

  • @CloTheVA
    @CloTheVA 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +193

    Warching this felt like watching an evangelion video essay, weirdly surreal, introspective, and leaving you completely confused by the end of it

  • @scoopzillion
    @scoopzillion 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +399

    ahhh Riverdale… The wonderful Nexus Point where every thought you had in the shower is given a full budget

    • @Champiness
      @Champiness 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

      Oftentimes including “hey remember that one movie”

  • @LookHearMeOut
    @LookHearMeOut 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +809

    Oh Archie…
    Frieza's ship hasn't even landed yet.

    • @kotorandcorvid4968
      @kotorandcorvid4968 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +65

      You haven't even been mauled by a bear yet

    • @LookHearMeOut
      @LookHearMeOut 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +22

      @@kotorandcorvid4968
      😂😂 LOL! I’m so glad it carried over to this video 🥹

    • @ItJokeDaYo
      @ItJokeDaYo 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +38

      If the show returns with an Android saga I’m here for it lol

    • @maxpotiontcg
      @maxpotiontcg 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +20

      @@ItJokeDaYoevery good show needs an android arc

    • @vitoc8454
      @vitoc8454 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

      [Archie goes Super Saiyan]

  • @pasarasaki9007
    @pasarasaki9007 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +42

    Man, "It's not that the writers dropped the ball, it's that the ball was made of petrol and dynamite." GODS do I love your writing, Patches, never change.

  • @AidanOAArch
    @AidanOAArch 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +157

    "I'm not joking, or am I?" feels like it would be a drinking game: is this a real Riverdale plot-line or the fever dream of a madman?

    • @guybrush20X6
      @guybrush20X6 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

  • @bloodlessdemons
    @bloodlessdemons 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +444

    Sometimes when I rewatch Too Many Cooks I laugh and think about what that show would look like if it was real and continued on past just an intro.
    Riverdale.
    It's Riverdale.

    • @gracegrrl007
      @gracegrrl007 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      this is the best explanation of this show according to this video i have seen

  • @hoshikoginga
    @hoshikoginga 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1072

    1:31 WHY are they wearing the Evangelion school uniform

    • @Bighomie39
      @Bighomie39 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +176

      Yeah wait why are they all dressed like Rei

    • @zoe_astra
      @zoe_astra 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +34

      RIGHT?!

    • @shoxy-the-pinecone6113
      @shoxy-the-pinecone6113 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +185

      I think I heard someone say it was because it was the first/cheapest result on Amazon, it was probably just a joke, maybe it was a purposeful homage, maybe the costume designer wanted to see how much they could get away with

    • @0uttaS1TE
      @0uttaS1TE 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +115

      @@shoxy-the-pinecone6113 I'd like to imagine the latter, mostly because of how much Eva has permeated pop culture, even silently. That, and they did 23 serial killer plotlines. Let us have the Eva reference as a treat.

    • @Darrkerkg
      @Darrkerkg 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +39

      ​@@0uttaS1TE​ so the writers will add more serial killers until the number 26 and then pull a time traveling situation that will rewind the show to the 24th serial killer?

  • @atreidhd
    @atreidhd 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

    45:50 -- I don't know why, but I laughed so damn hard when I heard that "dog" bark, and that's probably the least weird thing mentioned in this entire video.

  • @Multicherry28
    @Multicherry28 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +123

    The town being a weird mismash of time periods is one of the few things they got right. It's how I always imagined the town in the comics, since it's so distinctly 50s but also not

    • @consoleking9670
      @consoleking9670 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      the vibes and aesthetics of the show in general are on point. might honestly be why it’s a guilty pleasure for me, it just feels cozy

  • @KhezuOnYourScreen
    @KhezuOnYourScreen 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +286

    So like, is the Emmet Till case a canon event?

  • @Tenchigumi
    @Tenchigumi 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +269

    The way season 7 treats racial issues (where the mainline cast has an unnaturally immaculate racial track record for the era) reminds me of Red Dead Redemption 2, where Dutch's Gang is (for the most part) remarkably inclusive, tolerant, and diverse despite existing in an America only a few decades removed from the Civil War.
    But RDR2 gets away with it because Dutch's Gang are outlaws, and their opposition to racism fits that rebellious context during a time when bigotry was an accepted social norm.
    I wonder if Riverdale could have swung this issue in a similar fashion.

    • @sunainahussain
      @sunainahussain 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +57

      Also it's shown in RDR2 that not only are they very much an exception to the norm due to being outlaws but that even the gang members' inclusive attitudes are often imperfect (esp. when it comes to how Dutch treats women or lets Micah stay in the gang) and often don't prevent them from taking advantage of marginalised folks as, well...criminals (such as the loan sharking that Arthur acts as an enforcer for and literally everything regarding Dutch and the Wapiti in Chapter 6)
      And I do agree that it would've made for a better written show if Riverdale swing in that direction and made the kids' inclusive attitudes imperfect in ways that reflected their upbringing and personalities, like maybe they can see how _obviously_ bad segregation is but don't realise how much their race and upbringing has influenced their assumptions about things (like the police or paying rent)

    • @Tenchigumi
      @Tenchigumi 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +28

      @@sunainahussain That's a great point. Those nuanced imperfections definitely lend more credibility and depth to modernized period pieces, having characters who are ahead of their time but still products of their time.

  • @Nadia1989
    @Nadia1989 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

    Watching this video gave me Sherlock flashbacks. Especially the big cliffhangers that get you nowhere.
    I'm surprised the audience stayed for that long.

    • @smergthedargon8974
      @smergthedargon8974 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Riverdale at least seems far more tolerable than the insulting dreck of Sherlock.

  • @bushbear7074
    @bushbear7074 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +70

    The sincerity with which you try to explain this show's plot is incredibly entertaining. Even more so for someone who has not and will probably never see the show.

  • @conan2650
    @conan2650 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +64

    The delivery of and comedic timing of "anyway thats episode one" was SO good. That really got me

  • @Sky-bx9mn
    @Sky-bx9mn 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +428

    41:20 the wildest part of that sentence is her believing the FBI at that time would help *save* Dr. King.

    • @BriarPatchNyra
      @BriarPatchNyra 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

      Clearly she hadn’t heard of Jean Seberg

    • @uchihabomber1296
      @uchihabomber1296 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

      I laughed way too hard at the idea of it

    • @TheDrMike25
      @TheDrMike25 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

      I know right?!?!

  • @fmkalross8296
    @fmkalross8296 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    42:39 is when I start loving this vid so much that I panic that it's going to end too soon and go looking for your other vids on Riverdale. You are gold, love this vid!

  • @canonicallykayfabe
    @canonicallykayfabe 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +744

    Literally cheered out loud when I got this notification oh my god I've been begging for you to follow up on my favourite ever show

    • @caylesx
      @caylesx 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      WAKE UP BABE, NEW............

    • @Mireneye
      @Mireneye 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      It's absolutely insane that this can be anyone's favorite show and still I totally get why!

    • @canonicallykayfabe
      @canonicallykayfabe 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      @@Mireneye not to be all super eyepatch wolf coded about it but it probably has something to do with being a pro wrestling fan LMAO

    • @Mireneye
      @Mireneye 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@canonicallykayfabe Ahahah I love that

  • @JaxBlade
    @JaxBlade 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +385

    I’ve never done hallucinogenics before but apparently Marathoning this show will give that same effect 😭I thought the Archie vs Predator comic was a wild what if but I have learned how foolishly naive I was.

    • @dotapark
      @dotapark 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      I’m sorry, WHAT? 😂

    • @gregvs.theworld451
      @gregvs.theworld451 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      It is foretold on an ancient stone slab that if you boof LSD while marathoning seasons 3-7 of Riverdale, you gain superpowers.

    • @DrewDesign
      @DrewDesign 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      @@dotapark oh you HAVE to seek it out - it's an Archie comics IP bloodbath

    • @helenfotopoulou5125
      @helenfotopoulou5125 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      @@dotapark There's also an Archie and Punisher one but at least the premise of that makes sense (Castle looking for a criminal who happens to be an Archie lookalike).

    • @RRed19
      @RRed19 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@helenfotopoulou5125That crossover was GLORIOUS.

  • @wyatt8315
    @wyatt8315 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +120

    You gotta respect how they just doubled down instead of having things make sense

  • @dfdedsdcd
    @dfdedsdcd 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

    What the show Riverdale was about:
    Almost saying or doing something profound or interesting, but then going "Look at these hot teenagers!" instead.

  • @DG-gx8pn
    @DG-gx8pn 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +104

    45:24 Ok that’s actually so stupidly brilliant that ALMOST makes me want to watch the show.

    • @JoshxDarnxIt
      @JoshxDarnxIt 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +20

      As someone who watched the entire show, we were crying laughing when we watched this episode. Oh my god, I love this show 🤣

    • @silasbiggin7036
      @silasbiggin7036 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Me and my friend are currently planning to watch recordings together.
      This is beautiful

  • @boomkruncher325zzshred5
    @boomkruncher325zzshred5 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +732

    If you read the original Archie comics… both the idyllic, illusionary Riverdale of Season 7 and the traumatic craziness of Seasons 1 through 6 seem not only plausible, but like something that would literally fit right in to the OG comics. Seriously, some of those comics are INSANITY PERSONIFIED, from what little I read of them as a kid.
    So SuperEyepatchWolf: READ THE OG ARCHIE COMICS AND THEN MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT THEM AAAAAAAGGGGGGJHHHHHHHH
    JUST COME ON MY DUDE

    • @Samm815
      @Samm815 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +103

      the punisher once visited riverdale.

    • @aidenp6001
      @aidenp6001 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +29

      Bump, Wolf needs to see this, hopefully this could give him some closure (of something close to it).

    • @CanterlotCrusader
      @CanterlotCrusader 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +61

      You need to bait him by saying Garfield shows up in the Archie comics but don't tell him when.

    • @GeneralUile
      @GeneralUile 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +28

      That's the thing with Archie: they have done essentially everything with it at this point (there's even a zombie miniseries IIRC) to the point where Riverdale feels like it matches that insanity

    • @Duothimir
      @Duothimir 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      ​@@Samm815Punisher is not even the weirdest thing.

  • @marlom7882
    @marlom7882 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +74

    The recollection of storylines between seasons 1 & 3 gave me so much whiplash it’s a wonder why my neck hadn’t snapped

    • @CeribriReborn
      @CeribriReborn 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Only four minutes into the video and I had to stop to catch my breath from laughter.

  • @HouseFullaFrogs
    @HouseFullaFrogs 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    I'm only further convinced that Riverdale is a commentary on comic book IP. How else can you explain the absurdity of Archie being a high schooler, a cop, a soldier, a superhero, and then a high schooler again? Peter Parker is a teen in the 50s, and a kid in the 90s, and an adult in the early 2000s, and a high school kid getting ready to go to college in the 2010s. He's a vigilante, a cop, a multiverse-travelling sci-fi protagonist, and everything in between. The only difference is that as what Archie is to the audience changes, Archie the character still remembers. It's still him.

    • @ambarcastaneda4763
      @ambarcastaneda4763 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      This is such an interesting and insightful take!

  • @fable23
    @fable23 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +71

    Remember when you were a kid and you didn't have that many toys but you really, REALLY wanted to play Space Marines vs Aliens so you just took your sister's Barbie and Ken dolls and made THEM fight the aliens?
    This show feels like that. Like the absolute buckwildest of childhood imaginary games, spanning all manner of decades and genres, all played out with the same toys.

  • @EdgAre11ano
    @EdgAre11ano 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +76

    Hey EyepatchWolf, longtime watcher first time commenter. Big fan. One note. There is not one situation in the Spanish language where the letter "O" sounds like the letter "E".
    La Llorona (your-own-uh) rhymes with corona. Lorena is just the name of a girl who's quincenera ceremony I danced in.

    • @hariman7727
      @hariman7727 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      Apparently Eyepatch Wolf's mastery of Spanish is as good as his mastery of the "Japanize" language.

  • @aaronkelly1762
    @aaronkelly1762 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +148

    You didn't mention Devil worshipper, Clifford Blossom being a Russian Spy trying to make a P bomb in season 7.

  • @SomasAcademy
    @SomasAcademy 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    ~45:50 The delivery on this line after 45 minutes of significantly more unhinged stuff got me so hard, when I heard the dog bark I actually had to pause the video because I was laughing so hard. I unironically started slapping my knee like a cartoon character.

  • @Iaminsideofyourwalls
    @Iaminsideofyourwalls 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +417

    4:28 just imagine this man’s horror when in a few years, he wakes up in a cold sweat and realizes that in this paragraph, he used the wrong “you’re”

    • @cyrus2395
      @cyrus2395 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      You really had to go there, huh? 😂

    • @p3r3n5
      @p3r3n5 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

    • @p3r3n5
      @p3r3n5 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Jk but my theory is he did it on purpose knowing we would point it out

  • @ThornheartCat
    @ThornheartCat 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +120

    Can't believe some of the stuff you left out, like how the timeskip also wasn't a timeskip: they were the Riverdale High Class of 2020, and then we timeskip 7 years to... 2021.
    You're so right about the last season being a chore though, just a giant history lesson about how the 50s were bad, when, yeah, I knew that, I took history class, this show literally did not teach me a single thing about 1950s America that I did not already know... what a show. Even if the teen drama comes back as it was, there really will never be one like Riverdale ever again.

  • @matthewsmith2237
    @matthewsmith2237 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +42

    I love that johns being more open about the stripper story. It’s the third funniest thing that’s happened on the vs. Wolves podcast. Only behind when he engaged in an eternal rivalry with an npc, resulting in his community unanimously declaring they’re love for said NPC. Or when he described how he recently got choked out by a 7 year old girl.

  • @IDKLOL-qj7sl
    @IDKLOL-qj7sl 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    I know this comment will probably be swallowed up, but I love your second person narration style. every time the narration says I did some shit I'm like, holy fuck... I probably did. or will. or something, anyway, so true. tbh, you saying "episodes" instead of "seasons" made me feel deeply connected to this video, because until the text came up, I didn't even notice. I think the text was a good call, because everybody is not me, and somebody would notice, but it couldn't have been me, I literally would've made this mistake and not caught it.

  • @RagnorokKing
    @RagnorokKing 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +38

    Is it weird the thing that upsets me the most is that the comics Jughead finds aren't drawn in the classic Archie style.
    Like...it was right there.

  • @ZComiX
    @ZComiX 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +325

    What’s crazy about this show is that it’s literally whatever fanfiction tropes were popular at the time, especially the last arc which many fics have the characters watching and reacting to canon or alt universes. It really was the end of an era, where you could publish Archie fan fiction to tv, which is kinda what Star Trek TNG was like when they accept fan scripts or even brought on fans as writers to the team. An era where any idea a fan could come up with could potentially be in a magazine, tv or land them a job. Reminds me of a video by Tale Foundry where he talks about Pulp Fantasy and how there really aren’t those creative spaces for fans and professionals to communicate and create narratives together in their niche community.

    • @fruitygarlic3601
      @fruitygarlic3601 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +30

      Now writers in the genres typically covered by pulp fiction (high romance, horror, fantasy, etc.) have to abstain from social media so they can refute fans' claims of artistic theft from fanfic. I remember Neil Gaiman mentioning this during the lead up to Good Omens 2.

    • @northstarjakobs
      @northstarjakobs 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +23

      @@fruitygarlic3601 Yeah there's a scifi writer I followed on Tumblr back when I still used social media who stated that she couldn't interact with any fanworks for her books because of that possibility of even subconscious appropriation. It sucks, but I do think it's better than the alternative of big companies trolling AO3 looking at the most popular fics for their properties and then using those stories without giving any credit to the fanfic writers because "you used our intellectual property so it already belongs to us".

    • @vitoc8454
      @vitoc8454 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      @@fruitygarlic3601 The opposite of this is the (somewhat joke) theory that FNAF's plot is now so insane because the creator has to keep rewriting around the fan theories

    • @unblorbosyourshows9635
      @unblorbosyourshows9635 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@fruitygarlic3601 god i despise copyright and people who believe in it

    • @smergthedargon8974
      @smergthedargon8974 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@unblorbosyourshows9635 It's poorly-implemented, but do you believe people should have no control over what they've made?

  • @CrossTrash
    @CrossTrash 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +166

    This is the most exhausting video essay I have ever watched.
    I loved every second of it.

  • @KeroKaminaX
    @KeroKaminaX 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +16

    John. Please, PLEASE look into the old 90s cartoon Archie's Weird Mysteries. it's nowhere near as batshit as riverdale but it still is worth looking into

    • @kaylahouvenagle3866
      @kaylahouvenagle3866 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Huh, I must of seen a rerun of it

    • @kyoyameganebereznoff
      @kyoyameganebereznoff 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I ADORE that show. The animation is bad, the plots are pretty out there, and the sound effects can be really funny. That show is a running joke/beloved favorite between my partner and I.

  • @pleasedont.5613
    @pleasedont.5613 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +64

    Watching John trying to pronounce La Llorona (Lah Your-oh-na) brought me a primal Mexican glee; good evening my silver prince

  • @matthewpelletier6900
    @matthewpelletier6900 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +98

    So basically, they spent two seasons stalling while they searched for a way to escalate past the insanity of season 3 and somehow actually found it. Then they got told they needed to do one more season and they ran out of gas, but rallied in the end for a truly bizarre finish.

    • @QuintessentialWalrus
      @QuintessentialWalrus 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      This video doesn't even mention that in the series finale, the four main characters all hook up and become a four-way polycule because the writers couldn't decide which couples should become canon. It's the ultimate compromise for the shippers in the show's fanbase -- who needs couples when you have quadrouples?

  • @CereyaMaxylis
    @CereyaMaxylis 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +451

    I feel like at some point, some very very distant point, John's masochism isnt going to be able to keep up with the media he consumes. Garfield comics, Fear and Hunger, that time he was virtually bullied by two lesbians - and of course Riverdale. Just what will it take for him to finally go "You know what? Enough, I'm tapping out".

    • @victoriacecilia3926
      @victoriacecilia3926 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +80

      when was he virtually bullied by two leasbians? I want to see that

    • @BocookGaming
      @BocookGaming 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

      Wait, what? lmao

    • @operation_turtle
      @operation_turtle 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Lesbians?

    • @FalseHerald
      @FalseHerald 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +62

      @victoriacecilia3926 they mean Dokapon

    • @MCArt25
      @MCArt25 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

      Joke's on us, he's never going to tap out.

  • @confirmedbachelor4650
    @confirmedbachelor4650 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    For the first time ever, I think I've watched a youtube documentary that has a creator truly embracing the "unreliable narrator" trope.

  • @ericdewell1905
    @ericdewell1905 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +113

    What you call “Mechanical Ant People” I call “Junkyard Kamen Rider.”

  • @grant9637
    @grant9637 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +97

    There is a surprising amount of overlap between riverdale & homestuck

    • @repulser93
      @repulser93 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +23

      Speaking as a Homestuck fan… ow.
      This Riverdale shit does seem like it’d fit right at home in Beyond Canon, though.

    • @novameowww
      @novameowww 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

      riverdale makes homestuck look relatively straightforward in comparison and that's a webcomic where you have to accept a universe somehow existing in 3 places at once at one point

  • @orangeblaster500
    @orangeblaster500 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +39

    I think one of my favorite parts of SEW is that he’s a surprisingly compelling voice actor. I can truly feel his sanity being pulled like a bear to the bark of a tree.

  • @VaryaTheVillain
    @VaryaTheVillain 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    Rivervale having Neon Genesis Evagnelion school uniforms not mentioned, video cancelled
    /j
    anwyay. your last video and this one are the sole reason I know what happens in Riverdale. except for that one tweet my friends on a server shared to say "so is SuperEyepatchWolf gonna cover that?" lol
    the video's great and I'm super mad Riverdale ended like it did, without bringing it together neatly like your plot ideas were trying to. I am very glad i dont have to watch Riverdale for that and can just enjoy the chaos from the sidelines.

  • @Tenchigumi
    @Tenchigumi 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +107

    So what you're saying is that the White Materia is powered by gay lesbian sex lasers. Cool.

    • @carebear1470
      @carebear1470 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

      Does that mean Tifa/Aerith confirmed for FF7-3? I'm holding Eyepatch Wolf to this.

  • @pipedream2556
    @pipedream2556 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +69

    5:43 ive read a single Riverdale fanfic ever and its a horror oneshot about this exact concept, with an outsider lost and stumbling across what seems like a normal town except things are off in all the ways you bring up...and then gets insane from there until this person is fleeing in terror from some sort of eldritch abomination in the form of a faulty impression of a town, like the show was the only source of inromation something had to lure people in with
    It worked shockingly well 😅

    • @repulser93
      @repulser93 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Someone give me the link

    • @Multicherry28
      @Multicherry28 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Where's the link?

    • @cosmicdust2668
      @cosmicdust2668 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I would also like the link

    • @schoo9256
      @schoo9256 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Title?

  • @joeyjosephson5524
    @joeyjosephson5524 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +73

    After your last Riverdale video I thought I should check out the show, I never got around to it, now I'm pretty sure your two videos are all I need of the Riverdale universe in my life.

  • @ImJustJaime
    @ImJustJaime 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    There were so many explanations in this video that almost made me lose it (and I love your manic way of explaining them in a way that somehow almost makes sense of the nonsensical) but that F.D. cameo was truly unexpected and _that's_ what did it for me. 🤣

  • @Delzethin
    @Delzethin 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +85

    Won't lie, with the way you were describing Season 7, I thought it was going to turn out they were all stuck in a pocket dimension outside the flow of time crafted from the remnants of the townfolk's memories, because the meteor had wrecked both parallel worlds but the angel characters wanted to give them somewhere they could still exist.
    Like a more idealistic version of...actually, I can't even say what game without spoiling a major plot point.

    • @aidenp6001
      @aidenp6001 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Cod Zombies?

    • @steveqi9309
      @steveqi9309 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Come on which game is it?
      If I had to take a guess it’s probably XC3. Could also be 13 sentinels.

    • @StrawbrryVampire
      @StrawbrryVampire 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      If you just fucking spoiled Outer Wilds for me...

    • @Delzethin
      @Delzethin 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@StrawbrryVampire That was not the game I was thinking of.

    • @invaderZX
      @invaderZX 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@steveqi9309Pretty sure they're referencing a specific From Software gane

  • @BezimiennyMarcel
    @BezimiennyMarcel 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +239

    Sooo season 7 is set in the 1950s, tries to talk about racism and sexual orientation yet absolutely everyone there is accepting of both gay people and black people? Okaaaaayyy sure

    • @nickmf22
      @nickmf22 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      For the love of God just stop, it's riverdale not a documentary and it's not set in the 1950s you idiot they have cellphones, explain that then????

    • @johanaforever965
      @johanaforever965 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +18

      And the black characters personality is just being Black, nothing else, like there’s no substance or depth in those characters. I know it takes place in the 50s but c’mon, the writers really think we’re that dumb ? The way they taking social issues is so surface level and shallow, it’s just there for the sake of pandering !

    • @paultapping9510
      @paultapping9510 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      ​@@johanaforever965pandering to whom?

    • @Ekohera
      @Ekohera 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      ​@@paultapping9510 who even knows

    • @sovietcanuckistanian
      @sovietcanuckistanian 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      Small American towns in the 1950s, famously accepting of both same-sex and interracial couples, especially when they're both at the same time.

  • @thanatoast
    @thanatoast 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +196

    I feel like if someone took that Loud House fanfic that is longer than any work of literature to date and made it a show, it would only asymptotically approach the black hole of madness of Riverdale.

    • @worthythaneofross3925
      @worthythaneofross3925 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Asymptotically?

    • @thanatoast
      @thanatoast 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      ​@@worthythaneofross3925Yes, sorry, I wasn’t quite sure how to write it in english. I'll correct it.

    • @crediblesalamander8056
      @crediblesalamander8056 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      wow. for the longest time i really thought the wandering inn, which is awesome btw, was the longest work of english fiction, but this fanfic is somehow more than twice as long?? i did not think it was physically possible to write faster than pirateba. guess i was wrong.

    • @KittyKatty999
      @KittyKatty999 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      It would be called "The Loud House Beside The River"

    • @Champiness
      @Champiness 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@crediblesalamander8056From what I’ve gathered large chunks of the text will oftentimes be copypasted from the scripts of whatever media franchise the Loud House cast + Self-Insert OC are crossing over with that week so there’s perhaps-unsurprisingly an asterisk on that. Still the longest work of fiction that our species has earned with its thoughts and deeds, though

  • @WrestlingWithGaming
    @WrestlingWithGaming 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    This was incredible. I kind of feel like some of the Rivervale plot and the multiple versions of characters may have been ripped from, I mean, inspired by the show Dark. Except done way worse but in a hilarious way. Btw, I suspect you would love the Netflix show Dark.