Kevin is 100% right about why his son didn't come to him. I've struggled many years with being suicidal off and on, and a big reason people don't reach out is they're afraid the option of suicide will be taken away from them. It's seen as an emergency relief lever in a way, a comfort or coping mechanism I guess, that thing that if gets bad enough you can get free of it.
I’ve lost my 20 year old son on my birthday, November 2nd...to suicide. This grief is unbearable and I can’t imagine a normal life again. It’s been two months and I’m still having grief attacks and have lost interest in all I used to love. I just don’t know how to live after such a tragic loss. It’s gripping every part of who I am.
@@xrv404 Jules, I was where you are when my 20 year old son took his life. My own life ended too for a long, long time. As the days and the nights continued foreword, I realized that my continued state of grief was not what he would want for me. I started living again for him...not w/o tears & longing but w/hope I’ll see him again.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can relate to feeling lost without my son and the grief is hard and extremely unpredictable. It's the worst thing that we will ever go through. I will pray strength over you.
I lost my son to suicide 3 years ago. I do know why per se. Some things I'll never know because you never know everything that goes on in someones head unless they tell you everything. When I got the call I went to the scene and the police officer told me what happened I just crumbled. He shot himself. The case is still open because the gun was not found at the scene. The first year took a physical toll on me. The second year still physical problems, but was able to get out more. But anything I did I tried to enjoy and I did at that moment but after it was done. It was like I didn't feel anything anymore. This year I'm still dealing with some physical things but hopefully doc will finally get that under control, the only thing is reality has kicked in and this year has been rough on me. I've always been the tough one. Strong for everyone else and it's tough having to rely on someone else to help. I go to therapy 2x a week and have been since 3 months after the death. My husband passed 20 years ago. So I wanted to watch this video to get a mans story of losing his child to suicide. Cause my boyfriend doesn't understand. He loved my son but can't feel what I feel and it's tough for him to try to understand my grief. So thank you Kevin for sharing. And also LeAnn also. ❤️❤️❤️
I lost my son to suicide on July 1, 2017. I know your pain. I cry everyday and what helps me the most is that I lean on Jesus to help me cope. It has been a hard journey. I listened to your video and I know exactly what you both are going through. God bless us on this journey
I’m so sorry about your son. I do believe that he’s watching over you. I have battled with suicide and depression and I still struggle today. I don’t know if this helps but you are not alone.
Our son killed himself a little over a month ago. I had a delayed reaction. It didn’t really register. Now I cry everyday. I thought I knew his thoughts. He would wake me up at night so that we could talk. So the whole thing blindsided me. I have just now started to enjoy some or all of a my day. I enjoy my husband and our daughter. BTW: We did everything right. We have no guilt. He suffered from schizo-affective disorder, and the meds quit working. But I feel so bad for him. He’s in the best of hands now. I am so thankful for the NDE stories I’ve listened to over the years. They give great comfort. I’m glad that I was familiar with them when Joel died. They gave me a foundation to build on.
Hi Esther I'm so sorry for your loss my son died June 2021 he was only 15 I pray God will continue to give us comfort and solace in the midst of our pain and the hope in knowing that one day when it's our time we will meet Jesus and after spending some time with him he will bring our son's and we will embrace again and get to spend time together and they say there are so many cool stuff to do in heaven
@@valeriemartinez3505 - Yesterday my hygienist told me about her personal NDE when she was a teenager. She went through the tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel she met her deceased aunt, who sent her back because she still had work to do. That was definitely a divine appointment in answer to a prayer. I’ve been praying for a sign, and God gave it to me. I’m overjoyed.
@@estherstone4860 God is good I'm so happy for your sign I got one too and I treasure it with all my heart God is good his word says he heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds amen God bless have days awesome
Thankyou for sharing I lost my 15 year old son to suicide and my faith in God has brought me alot of comfort but it is the saddest thing because you want to go back in time and fix it
I lost my son last month on May 20th. I knew that he was struggling but we had a code. He was supposed to tell me that he wasn't safe... that was the phrase but he didn't. The hardest part for me is not knowing what changed because we all thought that he was getting better. Thank you for sharing your story, I can relate to so much of it. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I lost my younger sister to suicide two years ago. I was the sole family member that she was connected to and felt like her caregiver to some extent. It was devastating. I haven’t stopped going through woulda coulda shoulda. She was beautiful, funny, smart and had so much to live for but depression was a battle. Sadly I have learned so much since her death. I wish I had known more before! This type of education is so needed. Thanks! ❤❤
Thanks for sharing your stories. I lost my son in Sept 2020. My life as I knew it is over. Nothing will ever be the same. I too wanted to die. I wanted to be with my son. Sometimes thinking I will live with this grief the rest of my life has made death not something I dread. I think of him every single day. I don't look forward to much anymore. I do try to get outside and enjoy the birds but it's just not as pleasant knowing my son can't enjoy it too. Nothing will ever be as good. I also dread the holidays, birthdays etc. They are really bad triggers for me. Thanks again for sharing. We do have to try and remove the stigma attached to mental health.
Bonnie, I lost my nephew, my sisters son, in 2015. My sister was exactly where you are now. She was absolutely destroyed, lost her interest in her patients business, holidays, and .daily her eyes had a haunted lost look. She has improved and no longer wants to die. The entire family was devastated. It does get easier with time. I hope you are getting support and love you need.
I am going threw the same my boy my son Matthew was 35 passed June 4th 2022 I still. Am so angry my heart hurts I don’t know how to look at my other kids and his children small break me 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I lost my daughter 1 year ago to suicide. It was a nightmare. A shocking news. When I heard my sister in the line saying please pray that Sam can survive. We taking her in the hospital. First I asked her who's Sam.? Then she said your daughter. She hang her self. I am shocked because I am thinking why she do that? I have so many questions in my head. Begging to the doctors do anything that can save live of my daughter. It's really painful coz she's only my girl. I have 2 kids but still it's painful😭 I don't know how to survive every day. It all happened when I was working in Taiwan. I'm a single mom.
I lost my 29 year old only son to suicide just 2 months ago. It was the day after my birthday. The grief is unbearable and the questions in my mind are unending. I know I will never be the same person again and a big part of my heart will always by sad and dark. I can't bear to imagine the pain he must have been going through to hide his feelings from my husband and me. We never had a clue about what he was going through and for how long. He was always a very gentle, thoughtful and caring person. I really don't know how I will ever be able to live a 'normal' life ..... this tragedy has changed the meaning of everything in our lives. Thank you so much to Kevin and LeeAnne for sharing as it has given me a tiny little ray of hope that maybe some day I will have a little bit of peace in my heart.
@@D3epFaik thank you for your kind words. These past few months have a terrible roller coaster of emotions... an emotional wringer. Nothing is the same and never will be but we (husband and I) are hopeful that eventually we will be okay. I spoke to him on a video call the night of my birthday but I think he was trying to distance himself emotionally so did not speak the way he normally would :(
So very sorry..my condolences to you and yr family. I lost my oldest son to suicide 2021..he was 32..it was devasting. I couldn't stop thinking of him that first year..i got grief counseling..for 9 months..and joined support groups. It helped..but I still have days that I break down and cry. It hurts so bad. Even still.
Some “friends” leave because they don’t want to hear about the victim anymore. No such thing as closure. You never get over it, you just get through it.
Very true what you have said @krackerjack57 .... no matter how much therapy one goes through ... there will never be complete closure for this. There is no one who can can fully understand this loss.
I relate to Kevin so much. I lost my son Feb 13 2021 the exact same way... was even in his truck. I even have the same personality as Kevin and coping skills as he has. Therapy has been so helpful..specifically EMDR therapy. From the start, I have always said I am having a bad minute or a good minute. Now I have some good days and I try not to toss a whole day to bad. This video has given me so much hope that maybe I can be used to help someone else. I thought I needed to have this figured out, but they seem to be able to share even though they don't know all the answers about their child. This video has been life changing for me. Thank you for sharing the hard story. Your child's life and death are not in vain.
@Danny Dolan Thank you for your sweet comment. I think of my son many times a day... it never goes away. However, I am now able to think of him beyond that last day and remember him for who he was rather than just how he died. That is a hard hurdle to get over. 2/12/21 Justin forever 26
I lost my 19 yo son to suicide just this August; there are no words to describe the anguish and pain we feel each day; my wife and I are truly broken and I wish no one else has to feel this
Thank You Very Much for your transparency! Our family lost a nephew this month to suicide. A wife & 3 month old son were left behind. Both sides of the family have rallied & gathered for Celebration of Life memorial services at churches. I agree that Suicide Prevention & Awareness are critical. 😢 Therese Pisarcik 🙏⛪️✝️
i have heard a lot of people speak about this subject, but these two wonderful people truly express how the pain of suicide truly effects. god bless you both
I lost my son in 2019. The grief is unbearable. I actually had a neighbor tell me if I had done more my son would be alive today. He had no idea what I did. I moved so I would never have to see them again!
Truly a comment from someone who has no idea!!I am so sorry for your loss. No one should ever say that to a parent that has lost a child. I’m glad you got away from such a toxic neighbour. ❤
I lost my son too, to suicide...I'm sorry that neighbor was so heartless. I've gotten careless comments also...I don't understand it...I just don't. It can happen to anybody. I live in a different realm of spirit since Michael's death...He was such a beautiful son, as I know all our children are beautiful!...I do have faith which helps, it doesn't take away the pain, but gives me hope I will one day see my son again, and in this process of faith I pray, and ask God to help me forgive those who can be insensitive...
Depression is so complex, enmeshed in so much biology, conscious and subconscious aspects of our being that its hard to know what to do. Ive had it all my life, hated almost every single second of existence to the point where it can feel like Im actually residing in a kind of hell realm. When I was 17 I remember a woman in my job tried to kill herself which I thought was nuts out of my own naivety but as time goes on you see more and more how her actions were a direct indicator of an emotion, which to her, was valid. In many ways I see why ppl try take their lives in that life for many is a series of finding out Santa doesnt exist - so much of life can unveil itself and for sensitive ppl who experience life directly, warts and all, it can become a terrifying horror show where it feels like your in some cult that keeps wanting you to get in line with norms and customs that make no sense - work a job you hate, be with a partner you dont like, get old and be someone you dont wanna be, lose ppl and behave as though its not important. All these evolutionary carry overs that helped us continue on are now to our detriment. Depressed ppl if you really listen to them, have a lot to teach. The trouble is ppl just keep drinking the OJ.
I still struggle with depression today and may here and there think of ideas of what I can do to end my life because I hate living with the pain from past events. The pain gets so heavy. Sometimes in life , I want to hang myself, jump in front of a vehicle, or train. I have my good days but sometimes I can have really bad days.
@@rayray5662 I know what you mean. This, coupled with the stigma of what you feel, the effects on what it has on you, yet we are still expected to carry on as though we must. And it often feels like its all ours which can be very hard. I really hope you have someone at least that has your back on this, if talking helps chat away here :-)
Suicide is not a joke. I was so confused,stressed and,scared bc my daughter was cutting on herself and talking about suicide when she was a teenager. It was just a cpl of yrs ago but I still keep her close bc I don’t want her to get back to that kind of thinking. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾I would literally lose my mind if anything happened to her. I mean LOSE it!!!!
I don’t like September any more…..September 7th, 1965 was a wonderful day……..then I lost my mom on September 18th from lung cancer at 58……then my son died on September 4th, 2019….since that day. OMG……I did not know that September was Suicide Awareness Month…….I just NEED my son!
Jules, I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved child. My sister’s 4 year old child drown in the care of a trusted relative. I was at an emergency appointment and he was with a new but trusted babysitter. There is a void in our family where the joy he brought to our lives was. My ex boyfriend commented suicide in front of me by a very violent method. I hope someday when you think of him you can do so with lessened pain and an internal knowing that you shall be reunited. I hope you have the support and love you need. ❤️
I lost my son August 13 th 2023 it's only been over a week he was always with me good or bad times he never had any friends his sister and he was close he was24 yrs old I feel like I failed him the pain is unbearable so many unanswered questions everywhere I go reminds me of him he hung himself about a block from my house someone found him early morning walking there dog I feel so lost barley able to go to wrk never thought I'd be dealing with this parents arnt supposed to put live there kids
I lost my little brother Darragh in 2012......there really is no such thing as closure...but somehow you learn to live again.... even when there are no answers......you learn to live again somehow because God wants that and wants you to know Darragh is at peace
My son Matthew Gordon Fort Myers Florida killed 4th June 2022 he left 2 small children and everything you are saying it so true my anger is still with me I am horrible to my other children 😢😢😢😢😢 so upset I can’t find a group or a person who lost a grown son
I lost my 29 year old son Cody to suicide Dec. 19th, 2023. I ache every minute of every day. I live in Venice , Florida. If you'd like to talk I am open to it. Marie
As someone who's actually on the brink I just wish I could face some understanding and recognition for my mental illness. I won't survive what's coming, so it's better to end it.
I wish I could know that God would not punish me for quitting because nobody cares about things I feel matter and that this society is so judgemental and believing the garbage they are told about the world beyond their own being evil and their country is the one that can never do wrong all the while doing wrong immensely, not only against other people beyond our borders, but their own.
@@istankimjong-unbutcantstan3398 its hard to do but it could help to stop worrying about what's going on in the world because we're not designed to comprehend so much information overload about the terrible things that happen amongst billions of humans. try to appreciate what's immediately in your own life-- nature, art, your friends, family and community and the compassion and good within people
Ive been where you're at many times honey. I know it seems like the only solution. Please please.. if you have nothing to lose.. all I ask is that you surrender (not kill yourself) and ask Jesus to come into your heart and to help you. I promise you won't regret it. Give em a chance and see what happens. You have a calling on your life and there is something evil that doesn't want you to make it there. Illness or not...All you need is a mustard seed size of faith. Just ask and you shall receive. I promise you. And I love you. Please stay 🫂
The only therapist I could find was about 35, had 3 young children and had only ever lost one grandparent and she had no idea what I was going through……then Covid happened. We still have not heard from the detective in Sherman about closing my son’s case.
I agree. I know my son was truly in a mental health crisis, and if he had another option, he would've took it -- I even brought him to the hospital that day, and they totally dismissed and released him, confirming (in his mind) that he was worthless and there were no options left. Anyone that says they made a "choice" -- is a complete ignoramus spouting hateful opinions on a subject they *blessedly* know nothing about.
@@doreen1289 I'm so sorry. There are never any words to make this better. I lost my beautiful son a year ago on 1/2/23, and my entire life is destroyed and my heart and soul are shattered. I still don't know if I will survive this, because my physical health totally dissolved from the stress of his death. I just try to take it day by day, and lean on Jesus. ((hugs)) for you -- it's a horrific journey of anguish. Mom to Anthony Thomas 1/2/23 forever 29
People who commit suicide, often show little signs of heavy depression , to their families. Families , r mostly surprised, when a luved one commits suicide. Its a complicated issue, as all humans r unique , in their own way. Sad when they die young, or have children. Some people, who suffer from depression, cant pull themselves up and out of that feeling of helplessness.They can't handle stressful situations , like relationship breakups, financial strain, death, and sickness. RIP! Blessings and prayers to the families.
When I loss my high school friend to suicide I felt broken. My question was why didn’t i see it coming? What could i have said that would of made a difference? I miss my friend. I still think of him often and his family. If only he would of called and talked to me we could of prayed or remind him of how much Jesus loved him. The signs were there but I was totally ignorant of his cry’s for help. I am so thankful that we got to spend time together before he passed away. It just isn’t easy knowing that he made up his mind that life wasn’t worth living. 😢 I am so sorry for you both of the passing of your sons. Grieve takes time. We’ll never have answers but God knows all our struggles. ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss 😢. I lost my 14 year old son albeit not to suicide. I don't judge your son, suicide must take IMMENSE courage and it's a mental illness. Like cancer for example. I am having REAL issues with my religion and I hope that will pass. Thank you for sharing your stories. Respect and condolences 🙏🏻❤️. That is true "he didn't want you to talk him out of it", that's true. He had decided. I lost a best friend to suicide. Not the same as losing a child but I was angry he never came to me. He had never mentioned it. Someone told me then, he didn't want to be spoken out of it. Life is especially cruel 😔
12:57 broke me. I struggle with this battle myself but I can’t even begin to fathom how he or any parent would feel hearing not just that their child is gone, but that they’re gone or their own hand. God bless these parents dealing with the Texas-sized hole in their hearts that a tragedy like suicide causes.
Hello, tomorrow is the third anniversary of my son's suicide 12/28/20. So far I've listened to this video and the one about what to say and not to say. I think that you should rename this video the first 3 years after the death of a child or something like that. I still go through a lot of everything that you said in this video I don't like to say this but the second year after, you seem to thaw out a little more from being so numb at various times and the physical and emotional pain comes back and is just as bad as when you got that knock on the door and were informed that your child was deceased. My son wrote music and songs and played various guitars and dabbled with other musical instruments. I did not watch TV or listen to any radio music for approximately the first year and a half. I only listened to talk radio and it was mainly political, but kept my brain busy and kept me alive. My heart has literally been broken I've been diagnosed with several major heart problems and was heart healthy prior to Ahrend's sucide. Thats all for now...Child Loss UK what is your first name? Thank you for expressing what as a writer i was unable to express so clearly as the hell I've been in since ny son's sucide. ❤
There is nobody to call or to call me around here….if you are not a Baptist, a Methodist, a Church of Christ or some other Protestant religion…no one wants to talk to you…I am a Catholic and will always be Catholic but for the last 40 years I have lived in the east Texas Bible Belt where there are not as many Catholics like where I grew up.….I have no one except my husband and I think he is tired of seeing me crying and basically depressed. I just don’t know.
I don't want to live but I don't want to leave my loved ones in this state. I wish I could make them forget me entirely. I wish I could just fade away. I just want my pain to stop. I don't want to transfer it to my friends and family
I lost my 36 year old son on November 1. My husband, his dad died from cancer 24 years ago. My son issues started before his dad died because of bullying done to him in school and he felt his dad and I did not have his back and protect him. So when his dad died the next year, that devastated all of us and especially him, he was only 11. So for 24 years I’ve been the only parent and it seemed he😊 hated me, he blamed me for some really unrealistic things. So with time he withdrew from me and his siblings, but he was angry and pushed us away. Now he is gone and I don’t really know why, I only can guess the issues because he did not share his thoughts and feelings. He did start some texting with his older brother four days before his suicide. My older son added me to their texting conversation and it got really ugly, he was ugly to us and gave unreasonable reasons for hating us. The night before his suicide I text him and told him I loved him, I wasn’t mad and I wanted to help him. He responded with two nasty words and those were the last two words he ever communicated to me. He was so angry and cruel. It’s so hard now cause I’m still the only parent left to walk this road and my other two children have rallied around to help me, but I’m devastated, I can’t think of anything else.
Wilma, I think your son was in extreme pain and sometimes (especially with men) they then STRIKE OUT before finally striking in and ending it all. All this does not excuse his behaviour, but at least it might explain a part of it. Sending you healing, Wilma 🤗!
'We were best friends-he was my first born'. That boy needed his own best friends..sometimes although they love their dads they want to grow in their own lives. Im sorry but I feel the father does not know how to include the wife in his grief..its all about him. For closure: some answers are looking at ourselves to.
Matthew 11:28-29 "28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." Jesus Christ from Nazareth ❤
Hope ur allgood ive been where U are. if you can't live for you then live for all the people that you would hurt, when I realised I hurt but I don't want others too I realised I'm not as bad or as hopeless a person as I perceived myself to be..
I hate the suffering I caused. But you have to be happy that my suffering in my brain is gone and I'm resting hopefully with Jesus. I know you don't like suicide but hopefully he'll forgive me I don't know I'll put in work
Kevin is 100% right about why his son didn't come to him. I've struggled many years with being suicidal off and on, and a big reason people don't reach out is they're afraid the option of suicide will be taken away from them. It's seen as an emergency relief lever in a way, a comfort or coping mechanism I guess, that thing that if gets bad enough you can get free of it.
I leave that option open when talking to a friend,if they try everything else to cope
It's hard to stay alive once you fully realize the true nature of humanity...
It’s a god damn nightmare
@Danielaagila267 that is really beautiful🕊
What language do you want to learn? Im learning to read Russian.
yep
Very true
I’ve lost my 20 year old son on my birthday, November 2nd...to suicide. This grief is unbearable and I can’t imagine a normal life again. It’s been two months and I’m still having grief attacks and have lost interest in all I used to love. I just don’t know how to live after such a tragic loss. It’s gripping every part of who I am.
❤️
Are you ok, Jules? 😔
@@xrv404
Jules, I was where you are when my 20 year old son took his life. My own life ended too
for a long, long time. As the days and the nights continued
foreword, I realized that my continued state of grief was not what he would want for me. I started living again for him...not w/o tears & longing
but w/hope I’ll see him again.
I lost my beloved 29 y.o. only son to suicide 5 months ago, and I am shattered...destroyed. 😢
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can relate to feeling lost without my son and the grief is hard and extremely unpredictable. It's the worst thing that we will ever go through. I will pray strength over you.
Hugs to all parents going through this
I lost my son to suicide 3 years ago. I do know why per se. Some things I'll never know because you never know everything that goes on in someones head unless they tell you everything. When I got the call I went to the scene and the police officer told me what happened I just crumbled. He shot himself. The case is still open because the gun was not found at the scene. The first year took a physical toll on me. The second year still physical problems, but was able to get out more. But anything I did I tried to enjoy and I did at that moment but after it was done. It was like I didn't feel anything anymore. This year I'm still dealing with some physical things but hopefully doc will finally get that under control, the only thing is reality has kicked in and this year has been rough on me. I've always been the tough one. Strong for everyone else and it's tough having to rely on someone else to help. I go to therapy 2x a week and have been since 3 months after the death. My husband passed 20 years ago. So I wanted to watch this video to get a mans story of losing his child to suicide. Cause my boyfriend doesn't understand. He loved my son but can't feel what I feel and it's tough for him to try to understand my grief. So thank you Kevin for sharing. And also LeAnn also. ❤️❤️❤️
I lost my son to suicide on July 1, 2017. I know your pain. I cry everyday and what helps me the most is that I lean on Jesus to help me cope. It has been a hard journey. I listened to your video and I know exactly what you both are going through. God bless us on this journey
I’m so sorry about your son. I do believe that he’s watching over you. I have battled with suicide and depression and I still struggle today. I don’t know if this helps but you are not alone.
@Danny Dolan thank you I’m leaning on the lord everyday
Thank the Lord that we know where our boys are... in the arms of Jesus!
@Dannydolan88 Amen!
Our son killed himself a little over a month ago. I had a delayed reaction. It didn’t really register. Now I cry everyday. I thought I knew his thoughts. He would wake me up at night so that we could talk. So the whole thing blindsided me. I have just now started to enjoy some or all of a my day. I enjoy my husband and our daughter. BTW: We did everything right. We have no guilt. He suffered from schizo-affective disorder, and the meds quit working. But I feel so bad for him. He’s in the best of hands now. I am so thankful for the NDE stories I’ve listened to over the years. They give great comfort. I’m glad that I was familiar with them when Joel died. They gave me a foundation to build on.
Hi Esther I'm so sorry for your loss my son died June 2021 he was only 15 I pray God will continue to give us comfort and solace in the midst of our pain and the hope in knowing that one day when it's our time we will meet Jesus and after spending some time with him he will bring our son's and we will embrace again and get to spend time together and they say there are so many cool stuff to do in heaven
@@valeriemartinez3505 - Yesterday my hygienist told me about her personal NDE when she was a teenager. She went through the tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel she met her deceased aunt, who sent her back because she still had work to do. That was definitely a divine appointment in answer to a prayer. I’ve been praying for a sign, and God gave it to me. I’m overjoyed.
@@estherstone4860 God is good I'm so happy for your sign I got one too and I treasure it with all my heart God is good his word says he heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds amen God bless have days awesome
Thankyou for sharing I lost my 15 year old son to suicide and my faith in God has brought me alot of comfort but it is the saddest thing because you want to go back in time and fix it
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So badly....
My heart breaks for both of you....all I can say is I understand...I do.....I miss my son so much❤
I lost my son last month on May 20th. I knew that he was struggling but we had a code. He was supposed to tell me that he wasn't safe... that was the phrase but he didn't. The hardest part for me is not knowing what changed because we all thought that he was getting better. Thank you for sharing your story, I can relate to so much of it. I'm so sorry for your loss.
😢💔😔. I’m so sorry for your terrible loss. I really am. x
@@patrickd9957 Thank you.... it's such a shame. I am grateful that I know that Chris is with the Lord.
I lost my younger sister to suicide two years ago. I was the sole family member that she was connected to and felt like her caregiver to some extent. It was devastating. I haven’t stopped going through woulda coulda shoulda. She was beautiful, funny, smart and had so much to live for but depression was a battle. Sadly I have learned so much since her death. I wish I had known more before! This type of education is so needed. Thanks! ❤❤
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Reach out to Eric’s house in phoenix, it’s free and life saving.
My beautiful boy. 2021
Thanks for sharing your stories. I lost my son in Sept 2020. My life as I knew it is over. Nothing will ever be the same. I too wanted to die. I wanted to be with my son. Sometimes thinking I will live with this grief the rest of my life has made death not something I dread. I think of him every single day. I don't look forward to much anymore. I do try to get outside and enjoy the birds but it's just not as pleasant knowing my son can't enjoy it too. Nothing will ever be as good. I also dread the holidays, birthdays etc. They are really bad triggers for me. Thanks again for sharing. We do have to try and remove the stigma attached to mental health.
Bonnie,
I lost my nephew, my sisters son, in 2015.
My sister was exactly where you are now.
She was absolutely destroyed, lost her interest in her patients business, holidays, and .daily her eyes had a haunted lost look.
She has improved and no longer wants to die.
The entire family was devastated.
It does get easier with time.
I hope you are getting support and love you need.
I am going threw the same my boy my son Matthew was 35 passed June 4th 2022 I still. Am so angry my heart hurts I don’t know how to look at my other kids and his children small break me 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
@@GM-yq5wkGH
I lost my daughter 1 year ago to suicide. It was a nightmare. A shocking news. When I heard my sister in the line saying please pray that Sam can survive. We taking her in the hospital. First I asked her who's Sam.? Then she said your daughter. She hang her self. I am shocked because I am thinking why she do that? I have so many questions in my head. Begging to the doctors do anything that can save live of my daughter. It's really painful coz she's only my girl. I have 2 kids but still it's painful😭 I don't know how to survive every day. It all happened when I was working in Taiwan. I'm a single mom.
I lost my 29 year old only son to suicide just 2 months ago. It was the day after my birthday. The grief is unbearable and the questions in my mind are unending. I know I will never be the same person again and a big part of my heart will always by sad and dark. I can't bear to imagine the pain he must have been going through to hide his feelings from my husband and me. We never had a clue about what he was going through and for how long. He was always a very gentle, thoughtful and caring person. I really don't know how I will ever be able to live a 'normal' life ..... this tragedy has changed the meaning of everything in our lives. Thank you so much to Kevin and LeeAnne for sharing as it has given me a tiny little ray of hope that maybe some day I will have a little bit of peace in my heart.
im so very sorry about what happened. how are you doing a couple months later? did you get to see him on your birthday if I may ask?
@@D3epFaik thank you for your kind words. These past few months have a terrible roller coaster of emotions... an emotional wringer. Nothing is the same and never will be but we (husband and I) are hopeful that eventually we will be okay. I spoke to him on a video call the night of my birthday but I think he was trying to distance himself emotionally so did not speak the way he normally would :(
Relate so much😢 same situation but mine is my daughter 😭
So very sorry..my condolences to you and yr family. I lost my oldest son to suicide 2021..he was 32..it was devasting. I couldn't stop thinking of him that first year..i got grief counseling..for 9 months..and joined support groups. It helped..but I still have days that I break down and cry. It hurts so bad. Even still.
I'm tired of this life.
@the.seagull.35How is it going?
Its a battle many ups and downs that I feel we all go through
Some “friends” leave because they don’t want to hear about the victim anymore.
No such thing as closure. You never get over it, you just get through it.
Very true what you have said @krackerjack57 .... no matter how much therapy one goes through ... there will never be complete closure for this. There is no one who can can fully understand this loss.
I relate to Kevin so much. I lost my son Feb 13 2021 the exact same way... was even in his truck. I even have the same personality as Kevin and coping skills as he has. Therapy has been so helpful..specifically EMDR therapy. From the start, I have always said I am having a bad minute or a good minute. Now I have some good days and I try not to toss a whole day to bad. This video has given me so much hope that maybe I can be used to help someone else. I thought I needed to have this figured out, but they seem to be able to share even though they don't know all the answers about their child. This video has been life changing for me. Thank you for sharing the hard story. Your child's life and death are not in vain.
@Danny Dolan Thank you for your sweet comment. I think of my son many times a day... it never goes away. However, I am now able to think of him beyond that last day and remember him for who he was rather than just how he died. That is a hard hurdle to get over. 2/12/21 Justin forever 26
I lost my 19 yo son to suicide just this August; there are no words to describe the anguish and pain we feel each day; my wife and I are truly broken and I wish no one else has to feel this
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How did he kill himself? So sorry for your loss ❤
@@suryawellness778 he hung himself in his room a day after my birthday
I have experienced this too, same age 19. It ripped me apart. It will get easier to deal with in time. Take care of each other
Thank You Very Much for your transparency! Our family lost a nephew this month to suicide. A wife & 3 month old son were left behind. Both sides of the family have rallied & gathered for Celebration of Life memorial services at churches. I agree that Suicide Prevention & Awareness are critical. 😢 Therese Pisarcik 🙏⛪️✝️
i have heard a lot of people speak about this subject, but these two wonderful people truly express how the pain of suicide truly effects. god bless you both
I lost my son in 2019. The grief is unbearable. I actually had a neighbor tell me if I had done more my son would be alive today. He had no idea what I did. I moved so I would never have to see them again!
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Truly a comment from someone who has no idea!!I am so sorry for your loss. No one should ever say that to a parent that has lost a child. I’m glad you got away from such a toxic neighbour. ❤
I lost my son too, to suicide...I'm sorry that neighbor was so heartless. I've gotten careless comments also...I don't understand it...I just don't. It can happen to anybody. I live in a different realm of spirit since Michael's death...He was such a beautiful son, as I know all our children are beautiful!...I do have faith which helps, it doesn't take away the pain, but gives me hope I will one day see my son again, and in this process of faith I pray, and ask God to help me forgive those who can be insensitive...
My son died 6 wks ago, from suicide. I cannot imagine how someone could be so cruel and unthinking.
@@kimmoore1738 my condolences. 🙏🏾❤️
Depression is so complex, enmeshed in so much biology, conscious and subconscious aspects of our being that its hard to know what to do. Ive had it all my life, hated almost every single second of existence to the point where it can feel like Im actually residing in a kind of hell realm. When I was 17 I remember a woman in my job tried to kill herself which I thought was nuts out of my own naivety but as time goes on you see more and more how her actions were a direct indicator of an emotion, which to her, was valid. In many ways I see why ppl try take their lives in that life for many is a series of finding out Santa doesnt exist - so much of life can unveil itself and for sensitive ppl who experience life directly, warts and all, it can become a terrifying horror show where it feels like your in some cult that keeps wanting you to get in line with norms and customs that make no sense - work a job you hate, be with a partner you dont like, get old and be someone you dont wanna be, lose ppl and behave as though its not important. All these evolutionary carry overs that helped us continue on are now to our detriment. Depressed ppl if you really listen to them, have a lot to teach. The trouble is ppl just keep drinking the OJ.
I still struggle with depression today and may here and there think of ideas of what I can do to end my life because I hate living with the pain from past events. The pain gets so heavy. Sometimes in life , I want to hang myself, jump in front of a vehicle, or train. I have my good days but sometimes I can have really bad days.
@@rayray5662 I know what you mean. This, coupled with the stigma of what you feel, the effects on what it has on you, yet we are still expected to carry on as though we must. And it often feels like its all ours which can be very hard. I really hope you have someone at least that has your back on this, if talking helps chat away here :-)
Deep, deep, amazing words, Michael. You should write.
You are both beautiful and so correct in explaining the arduous task of finding the right therapist.
I would like to offer my condolences to any parents who have lost their children to suicide I am sorry for your losses
Thank you for your message. I lost my son, also in September 3 years ago and a husband in the year 2000. Yes, it's hard to go on...
Thinking of you as I read your message. I'm struggling today but I'll keep fighting to stay.
You're making your son and husband so proud each day. Sending much love to you and your loved ones.
Suicide is not a joke. I was so confused,stressed and,scared bc my daughter was cutting on herself and talking about suicide when she was a teenager. It was just a cpl of yrs ago but I still keep her close bc I don’t want her to get back to that kind of thinking. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾I would literally lose my mind if anything happened to her. I mean LOSE it!!!!
I don’t like September any more…..September 7th, 1965 was a wonderful day……..then I lost my mom on September 18th from lung cancer at 58……then my son died on September 4th, 2019….since that day. OMG……I did not know that September was Suicide Awareness Month…….I just NEED my son!
I'm sorry to everyone in the comment that lost someone. ❤
Jules,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved child. My sister’s 4 year old child drown in the care of a trusted relative.
I was at an emergency appointment and he was with a new but trusted babysitter.
There is a void in our family where the joy he brought to our lives was.
My ex boyfriend commented suicide in front of me by a very violent method.
I hope someday when you think of him you can do so with lessened pain and an internal knowing that you shall be reunited.
I hope you have the support and love you need. ❤️
I lost my son August 13 th 2023 it's only been over a week he was always with me good or bad times he never had any friends his sister and he was close he was24 yrs old I feel like I failed him the pain is unbearable so many unanswered questions everywhere I go reminds me of him he hung himself about a block from my house someone found him early morning walking there dog I feel so lost barley able to go to wrk never thought I'd be dealing with this parents arnt supposed to put live there kids
I lost my son at 26 one and half years after using marihuana and ayahuasca for 8 years whit depression say no to drugs! Brasil
He probably was already depressed or anxious and pot helped it.
I lost my little brother Darragh in 2012......there really is no such thing as closure...but somehow you learn to live again.... even when there are no answers......you learn to live again somehow because God wants that and wants you to know Darragh is at peace
My son Matthew Gordon Fort Myers Florida killed 4th June 2022 he left 2 small children and everything you are saying it so true my anger is still with me I am horrible to my other children 😢😢😢😢😢 so upset I can’t find a group or a person who lost a grown son
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I lost my 29 year old son Cody to suicide Dec. 19th, 2023. I ache every minute of every day. I live in Venice , Florida. If you'd like to talk I am open to it.
Marie
As someone who's actually on the brink I just wish I could face some understanding and recognition for my mental illness. I won't survive what's coming, so it's better to end it.
please hold on
I wish I could know that God would not punish me for quitting because nobody cares about things I feel matter and that this society is so judgemental and believing the garbage they are told about the world beyond their own being evil and their country is the one that can never do wrong all the while doing wrong immensely, not only against other people beyond our borders, but their own.
@@istankimjong-unbutcantstan3398 its hard to do but it could help to stop worrying about what's going on in the world because we're not designed to comprehend so much information overload about the terrible things that happen amongst billions of humans. try to appreciate what's immediately in your own life-- nature, art, your friends, family and community and the compassion and good within people
Ive been where you're at many times honey. I know it seems like the only solution.
Please please.. if you have nothing to lose.. all I ask is that you surrender (not kill yourself) and ask Jesus to come into your heart and to help you. I promise you won't regret it. Give em a chance and see what happens. You have a calling on your life and there is something evil that doesn't want you to make it there. Illness or not...All you need is a mustard seed size of faith. Just ask and you shall receive. I promise you. And I love you. Please stay 🫂
Please please please do not give up .... talk to someone ... ask for help ... the loss for your loved ones would be terrible and irreversible.
The only therapist I could find was about 35, had 3 young children and had only ever lost one grandparent and she had no idea what I was going through……then Covid happened. We still have not heard from the detective in Sherman about closing my son’s case.
It’s not a decision, it’s a depression.
Absolutely right. Suicide is a symptom of depression. 😢💔😔🫶
Agree
@@tammywisecup5634
My beautiful son died, pending a divorce. Breakdown.. my heart is broken.
I agree. I know my son was truly in a mental health crisis, and if he had another option, he would've took it -- I even brought him to the hospital that day, and they totally dismissed and released him, confirming (in his mind) that he was worthless and there were no options left. Anyone that says they made a "choice" -- is a complete ignoramus spouting hateful opinions on a subject they *blessedly* know nothing about.
@@doreen1289 I'm so sorry. There are never any words to make this better. I lost my beautiful son a year ago on 1/2/23, and my entire life is destroyed and my heart and soul are shattered. I still don't know if I will survive this, because my physical health totally dissolved from the stress of his death. I just try to take it day by day, and lean on Jesus. ((hugs)) for you -- it's a horrific journey of anguish. Mom to Anthony Thomas 1/2/23 forever 29
People who commit suicide, often show little signs of heavy depression , to their families. Families , r mostly surprised, when a luved one commits suicide. Its a complicated issue, as all humans r unique , in their own way. Sad when they die young, or have children. Some people, who suffer from depression, cant pull themselves up and out of that feeling of helplessness.They can't handle stressful situations , like relationship breakups, financial strain, death, and sickness. RIP! Blessings and prayers to the families.
We don’t use the word commit anymore it’s not a crime we say died by suicide,it’s depression and saying they can’t handle it, is very shaming.
When I loss my high school friend to suicide I felt broken. My question was why didn’t i see it coming? What could i have said that would of made a difference? I miss my friend. I still think of him often and his family. If only he would of called and talked to me we could of prayed or remind him of how much Jesus loved him. The signs were there but I was totally ignorant of his cry’s for help. I am so thankful that we got to spend time together before he passed away. It just isn’t easy knowing that he made up his mind that life wasn’t worth living. 😢
I am so sorry for you both of the passing of your sons. Grieve takes time. We’ll never have answers but God knows all our struggles. ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss 😢. I lost my 14 year old son albeit not to suicide. I don't judge your son, suicide must take IMMENSE courage and it's a mental illness. Like cancer for example. I am having REAL issues with my religion and I hope that will pass. Thank you for sharing your stories. Respect and condolences 🙏🏻❤️. That is true "he didn't want you to talk him out of it", that's true. He had decided. I lost a best friend to suicide. Not the same as losing a child but I was angry he never came to me. He had never mentioned it. Someone told me then, he didn't want to be spoken out of it. Life is especially cruel 😔
Iam so sorry for your loss 😢! The blanket sometimes weighs a million tons in the morning.
I think about dying everyday
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ARE YOU STILL ALIVE
12:57 broke me. I struggle with this battle myself but I can’t even begin to fathom how he or any parent would feel hearing not just that their child is gone, but that they’re gone or their own hand. God bless these parents dealing with the Texas-sized hole in their hearts that a tragedy like suicide causes.
I lost my son and daughter to suicide .. would like to share my story
You definitely need to share your story brother. Love to you
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I'm so sorry.
My 30 yr son is so suicidal and I'm so concerned.
@@ZFern9390 get him some help
@@ZFern9390MY HUSBAND HUNG HIMSELF AT AGE 30
Hello, tomorrow is the third anniversary of my son's suicide 12/28/20. So far I've listened to this video and the one about what to say and not to say. I think that you should rename this video the first 3 years after the death of a child or something like that. I still go through a lot of everything that you said in this video I don't like to say this but the second year after, you seem to thaw out a little more from being so numb at various times and the physical and emotional pain comes back and is just as bad as when you got that knock on the door and were informed that your child was deceased. My son wrote music and songs and played various guitars and dabbled with other musical instruments. I did not watch TV or listen to any radio music for approximately the first year and a half. I only listened to talk radio and it was mainly political, but kept my brain busy and kept me alive. My heart has literally been broken I've been diagnosed with several major heart problems and was heart healthy prior to Ahrend's sucide. Thats all for now...Child Loss UK what is your first name? Thank you for expressing what as a writer i was unable to express so clearly as the hell I've been in since ny son's sucide. ❤
i can hardly connect but im wasting away alone with grief i feel like ive seen what a saint would see in their lifetime its crazy
There is nobody to call or to call me around here….if you are not a Baptist, a Methodist, a Church of Christ or some other Protestant religion…no one wants to talk to you…I am a Catholic and will always be Catholic but for the last 40 years I have lived in the east Texas Bible Belt where there are not as many Catholics like where I grew up.….I have no one except my husband and I think he is tired of seeing me crying and basically depressed. I just don’t know.
To day I found out my son has so much depression,and stress I pray he gets help I pray he does not takes his own life
I don't want to live but I don't want to leave my loved ones in this state. I wish I could make them forget me entirely. I wish I could just fade away. I just want my pain to stop. I don't want to transfer it to my friends and family
I lost my 36 year old son on November 1. My husband, his dad died from cancer 24 years ago. My son issues started before his dad died because of bullying done to him in school and he felt his dad and I did not have his back and protect him. So when his dad died the next year, that devastated all of us and especially him, he was only 11. So for 24 years I’ve been the only parent and it seemed he😊 hated me, he blamed me for some really unrealistic things. So with time he withdrew from me and his siblings, but he was angry and pushed us away. Now he is gone and I don’t really know why, I only can guess the issues because he did not share his thoughts and feelings. He did start some texting with his older brother four days before his suicide. My older son added me to their texting conversation and it got really ugly, he was ugly to us and gave unreasonable reasons for hating us. The night before his suicide I text him and told him I loved him, I wasn’t mad and I wanted to help him. He responded with two nasty words and those were the last two words he ever communicated to me. He was so angry and cruel. It’s so hard now cause I’m still the only parent left to walk this road and my other two children have rallied around to help me, but I’m devastated, I can’t think of anything else.
I’m so sorry. Wishing I could give you a hug. ❤️
Wilma, I think your son was in extreme pain and sometimes (especially with men) they then STRIKE OUT before finally striking in and ending it all. All this does not excuse his behaviour, but at least it might explain a part of it. Sending you healing, Wilma 🤗!
I’m suicidal but I don’t want to hurt my family
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Don't do it please
They hurt you so you mayaswell.
Get help don't drink alcohol, find something fun, be with friends.
Awwww sorry 😞 prayers 💪 💕 🙏
PRIDE GOETH BEFORE THE FALL!
Human interaktion‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️❤️❤️♥️
So sorry for your loss, but dad doesn't seem to include his family's feelings, more of his own.. 😢
'We were best friends-he was my first born'.
That boy needed his own best friends..sometimes although they love their dads they want to grow in their own lives.
Im sorry but I feel the father does not know how to include the wife in his grief..its all about him.
For closure: some answers are looking at ourselves to.
Matthew 11:28-29
"28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." Jesus Christ from Nazareth ❤
Careless to lose a child to suicide... can't have been that normal for the child.
No one will miss me when I'm gone
Like an EMP attack on a local level. This can be.......
I’m honestly so close
Hope ur allgood ive been where U are. if you can't live for you then live for all the people that you would hurt, when I realised I hurt but I don't want others too I realised I'm not as bad or as hopeless a person as I perceived myself to be..
988
Most men won’t call
I hate the suffering I caused. But you have to be happy that my suffering in my brain is gone and I'm resting hopefully with Jesus. I know you don't like suicide but hopefully he'll forgive me I don't know I'll put in work
The thumbnail is creepy.....everyone is smiling
I used their pain
The thumbnail is creepy...
Sick n tired of all the negative stuff happening in March!