Who Sounds Gay? | Op-Docs | The New York Times
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ต.ค. 2024
- This short documentary explores the reasons that some men sound stereotypically gay, whether they are or not.
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Stereotypes surround all of us. In the LGBTQ community people expect some to fit into certain stereotypes. The one we explore in this video is sounding gay.
Read the story here: nyti.ms/1e1ScJ1
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Who Sounds Gay? | Op-Docs | The New York Times / thenewyorktimes
They did him wrong putting the scene saying you want a NUT
splendor Inthegrass 😂😂😂
lmao
Hahahahaha
Hahaha
it was cinema magic.im sure they work for wow present now.
0:28 "Do you want a nut" ..... I have NEVER laughed so hard in my entire life
I tried to ignore it😂😂😂
The Modern Investor yoooo omfg I thought I was the only one 😭😭😭
Same. I thought he said "Do you wanna nut?"
He's delightful! Sounds so positive.
The Modern Investor fuxkin dead
when he was hissing at 3:35, The Chamber of Secrets opened...
This made my day.
I laughed so hard I almost passed out from your comment
Another day i survived thanks to you
Dame 😁
WTH!!
I really liked that plot twist
omg kovu hiiii
Didn't expect to see you in the comment section...
Really? Given the title, I could see it coming a mile away.
Lol hi
You couldn't tell by the title??
I thought the twist was going to be the two guys are actually partners.
No replies, nice
Nice
@@bconnolly8782 Nice
Noice
2024 Nice 😏
The straight dude is a bloody legend! If I had a voice like that I wouldn't be nearly as confident about it as he is. I guess that's what real manliness looks like.
Hey, when you have a beautiful wife and kids at home who cares what people think
@Saku Satola: Exactly. He is braver than most men
Well said. I couldn’t agree more. Confident dude. I’d consider him a leader. I don’t buy into stereotypes. I may fall for them but I never believe them as a way to get meaningful and reliable information. They often hinder reality.
It’s not just the pitch, it’s the enunciation, the breathing, and even lisping and “singing” some words and how they flow.
I think body language also communicates a lot.
Especially the lisp.
and eye rolling. beware ladies. most straight men do not roll their eyes.
@@nowvoyagerNE thanks for the advice! Now ladies know the perils of men that rolls their eyes !!
@@CrazeeFy : the peril is real. *;-)*
Glad this is out there. My last boyfriend was extremely masculine and no one was the wiser of his sexuality. His brother, however, was straight as an arrow (with a hot wife), yet soft and nilly. It was a real joke even in his family.
Stereotypes do exist for a reason, but people don't necessarily conform to them. Everyone is an individual.
yeah, we can't deny that the majority of us is feminine but we can't also rule out those who are different. In the end, no one's the same.
Like me. Both of my parents are Irish-American but I identify as black.
@@SolaceEasy what?
@@SolaceEasy
Hmmmm
@@SolaceEasy Brave and stunning! Always be true to yourself.
i find it so wholesome that the guy raised around women became a perfect husband. he was growing up surrounded by people who showed him how to be soft and open and emotional and that's what he valued so now he's so great as a partner and dad.
A lot of women actually don't like men like that. They prefer masculine guys that look tough.
@@helloworld7818 bs
@@helloworld7818 yeah you're right.
@@miguelrenteria7672 what, you think ALL women like soft men?
@@ritam8767 some but I know that butch masculine women like soft men, feminine women hate soft men I don’t think that all women do
Well, that explains a lot. I sound softer, younger, higher and therefore "gayer" when speaking Russian (since I was raised mainly by women), but at the same time I sound like a 40 year old masculine man when speaking English. Apparently that's because I've been taught English by male teachers and I used to spend a lot of time listening to programming podcasts and tutorials as a teen o-O
Yes, I find this is a very interesting aspect that plays into polyglots, my Turkish tends to sound more feminine because the friends who were patient enough to help me learn were mostly women.
When you speak English, do you have a Russian accent ?
Wow, same with me. My portuguese sounds masculine, but my English sounds soft and feminine
@@swaverACE opposite with me! I’m a teenage girl but when I speak Turkish I talk like a 30 year old man; my voice is lower and louder, and I’m generally more rude. It’s not only my voice thoguh, my behavior changes as well. I start burping, sitting with my legs apart, and yelling “LAN DÖVERİM” “siktir git başımdan” “hay amına” at anything that annoys me. (I got it from my Turkish father). When speaking French however, I turn into this high pitched shy little lady.
Same, sort of. I sound masculine in my mother tongue, and I guess I can associate that with being raised with five brothers, and I'm more feminine-sounding in English 'cause all of my English teachers were women. Didn't even consider this before. Wow.
i noticed that my tone changes depending on who im around. when i talk with my wife and my mom, i talk in a higher pitched voice that usual (almost like im subconsciously mirroring their characteristics) but when i talk to anyone else, i talk in a lower pitched voice, which is more naturally for me.
i didnt realize i was doing it until my wife watched me interact with other people and mentioned it. i had no clue.
A lot of men do this with women they are close to. You can usually tell what gender a guy is talking to on the phone just by listening to his pitch and tone.
Yes exactly.....men talk differently to other men compared to the way they talk to woman. I noticed that a long time ago.
I do the same to my boyfriend ( I am a man with a masculine voice). I think I associate it with being more vulnerable? Being more sweet?
my mother has pointed out the same thing for me (but unlike the others commenting here, I'm a girl)
KandaPanda same! weird...
I literally watched this whole thing thinking the gay sounding guy was actually gay... Not until the end when he said people can think I'm gay, but they are wrong. My mind was blown.
Bob V spoiler alert
I thought it was going to do some reverse reverse psychology but they tricked me they only did reverse psychology
Nick Flanagan same
Thats kind of the point of the video...
Same I'm shook
Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan
Gustavo Deckard ikr lol
Gustavo Deckard
Haaaaaaah! Truly the funniest comment i have heard in a long time, sir.
Wig snatched!
Gustavo Deckard 😂😂😂
I see ded peopel.
This is so funny. When I came out to my mom she said, "but you have such a deep voice!" I just laughed and said "that has nothing to do with it, mom." Lol
The best counter would be "No. I dont have a straight voice, I have a D A D D Y voice"
most gays were sexually assaulted
The part where Matt talked about how uncomfortable people making homophobic statements around him makes him hit hard. These guys seem lovely and I'm glad they've both been able to accept themselves and their respective gender expressions.
That twist. Man, talk about smashing convention.
Kev pretty obvious
Kev 😂😂😂😂😂
Lol right!!! I thought the same haha
Do you people live in the 70s?
Fascinating video. I never expect the end. You prove your point.
I totally saw that coming. It doesn't matter tho they both seem like great men.
I had no clue, and all the better. I think Video is edit in such a way to illicit the greatest response, and I think NYT did a great job proving their points.
I assumed you were sarcastic.
Peter Yang elicit*
How would you not expect that
him kissing his wife was biggest twist of 2017
and 2019
The weird thing
Why she attract to a guy like this !!
@@Mohammed-yd4uc You defenitely don't know women then.
raydaveed you mean they use beta males to feed them ?
@@Mohammed-yd4uc Only insecure guys need to make hierarchy in alphas and bettas. You are only alieneting yourself by doing this. Just saying.
"do you want some water? do you want a nut" like wtf 😂
almonds, cashews, chestnuts, pecans, pistachios, peanuts, hazelnuts, and the list goes on and on
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
They didn't show he was talking to his kid and I thought he was talking to a squirrel 😂
And I’ll have the mixed vegetables!
lol
I'm a Filipino and my voice sounds kinda feminine as they say when I speak our language (English and FIlipino.) But when I speak Spanish, I sound more masculine. This maybe due to the fact that I am the only masculine member in our home since my dad left when I was younger and women taught me our language. But Spanish was taught to me by male tutors. Weird but cool.
Pareho tayo LOL, naga yosi nga ako everyday nung 18 years old pa ako para mag deep voice kaso walang epekto, siguro sa dungong ilongo, may dungong ilongo
kasi ako.
Judging by the picture you look very little masculine. Quite feminine in fact.
@@PandaBear-qy8oq in Laguna
So true, I sound way gayer in English, than in Spanish.
@@hqef616he looks handsome asf wdym just cause he’s well put together doesn’t mean he looks feminine
the most predictable twist ever...
^^^^yup
NYT....
ikr
Well, there was only really one direction this twist could sort have gone? It wasn't due to a lack of imagination
Fact
The first guy sounds like Michael Jackson
That's what I thought.
Eddie1919 or truman capote
Eddie1919 no, that's ignorant.
Eduardo Loepfe 300 people agreed ,sounds like youre the ignorant one
Ali Hamza *South Park joke*
3:36 just jump to this part w/o context and you'll be confused AF 😂😂😂
Lmao
Simple, he's a parseltongue.
Me: thinking I'm Straight
Matthew Bernardo:
Me: daddy?
The daddy issues jumped out
@@danielconnor8516 haha whoops
sussy
same
kinda disgusting to say daddy
As a woman whose voice is incredibly androgynous, I love phone calls, and can definitely vouch for the voices around you shaping yours. It's not completely determined by that, because all the women and men in my family have fairly deep voices even though previous generations had more of a mix.
Taylor Swift's new song leaked at 3:36
BEAT ME TO IT!!! 😂
Hahahahahahhaha
HAHHAHAHHAHAH just take it, you just won the internet
So, snake sounds for music?
When that guy was HISSING😂😂😂😂😂 i died
R.i.p Marble. It's been one year since you died and I still cry evertim :'(
rip Marble we miss you
Marble marble man i cant do this widdout you
I thought he was speaking parseltounge.
What a loss 💔💔 Rip skinny legend
I love Matt's deep soothing voice. He should do radio .
This thing couldn't be done today anymore without a massive backlash .... Especially by the new York times.
Tells a lot.
I adore Chris's way of speaking. He is so self effacing too---So humble!
Everyone has their own voice. It's ok for straight woman to have deeper voices. It should be ok for straight men to have more feminine voices.
That’s so true. Some people just can’t understand that.
Most women specially really attractive women like deep masculine voices though along with all the other physical masculine characteristics I.e. beard, wide back. Big arms, Tall.
explain how height is related to masculinity and femininity and not to race, ethnicity or nutrition. (I've seem women way taller than me if they are from NA or EU)
@@5amv3l not necessarily.
5amv3l I should take some hgh then, huh? and grow to over 6 foot 1, then grow a 8 inch beard, then pump them mooscleas. then I'll get all them ladies. oh, can't forget I gotta eats all them pizzas too, so I can get a nice big, wide back. right bro.
The message is don't stereotype. I'm gay but many people have told me "I don't sound gay" everyone has their own way of speaking, gender or sexuality has nothing to do with either. Some men speak more feminine and some don't, it has nothing to do with who they are attracted to.
I agree. But I think it is cool that gay people have their own way of speaking too? And they should never be ashamed of it. (I know you aren't suggesting that.)
I was working with a guy I eventually figured out was gay, but not thru his voice. He later mentioned that he had been told he didn't "seem" gay by his circle of friends, who thought it was an advantage that he could "go straight" in business or other times when sounding gay could be a distraction.
Oddly, as we became friends, we'd trade life stories of all and sundry as we worked or he drove me home, and the gay came out. To this day, I cannot tell you what he did that made me think "Ha! There he goes." Even though I have been known for doing imitations and comic voices all my life, I know I could never match the slight inflections or tones that were nevertheless unmistakable!
It's a fascinating little area of study.
Well research has shown that a large part of the male gay community has what we would call a 'feminine voice'. I'd say correlation does not mean causation but it is an interesting thing.
I don't, because it basically means that gayness is too culturized, which I think is problematic. Sexual orientation should not make up such a huge chunk of your self-identity.
+skyler brewer *whom they are attracted to
Conclusion -- how people's voices present is significantly culturally influenced, rather than innately neurological or biological.
I as an Australian woman who lived many years in the Netherlands and a lot of my female Dutch friends had very deep voices. I think it's also connected to the language we speak!
@@k__o7667 Language is also part of a culture, so yes, I think both of you are correct :)
Both
As a lesbian who dislikes her feminine sing-songy voice, this video helped me understand that I don't have to conform to a particular mold to be who I am :)
yeah just do what ever you like, but NO LAW BREAKING
No one:
Snakes: 3:38
😂😂
LMFAO
Next episode- gay mannerisms and eye rolling.
Cléo Z I'm fainting hahahha
Lol. I promise it wasn’t saracastic.
Don't forget lip smacking and clapping in exclamation during an argument
omg, your avatar is Milo :D
oh, gurl!
They didn’t even mention people have different vocal cords
Wait, what? People have different vocal chords? You're a genius!
Vocal cords affect pitch, in general, but it doesn't make you have a specific rhythm or uptalk.
Hmmmm. Very interesting.
I swear I thought the the same thing after watching this video.
+Bryan Garcia I swear too! I actually said "interesting" then scrolled down and read this!
+Garce , pray tell lol!
JAI RELA HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHA GO TO YOUR NAUGHTY CORNER!
I always knew this even as a child I didn’t think it was intresting to me, but I guess to someone who doesn’t know much about human psychology and behavior it would be.
Love how half the comments are about how predictable this was and the other half how the twist was unexpected. Whereas I tbh never thought about there sexuality, Idk why just didn't.
I keep coming back to this video. One of my favorites on TH-cam ✨
Matt's smile is to die for... he smiles with his eyes,,,
I don't t believe this one bit. Lots of men grew up with multiple women or sisters and never grew up speaking like a girl. Their voice is their voice. It had nothing to do with emulating someone else's voices
Matt is HOT and he has the sweetest smile.
Bob Kuusela And he's ALL MAN.
Bernardo Patino hmm wow I had no idea!!!!!!!
Bob Kuusela You look really hot, man.
The 2 above me came to this vid for a reason ;)
@Javedur Rahman 🙄
I always come back for 0:28😂😂
He honestly sounds so sweet.. I'd love to talk and spend my time with a man with his voice.
Two years later, Kris and Matt are married.
KripkeSaul wat
Lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The narrator sounds like Mr.Slave from South Park 😭Jesus Christ
Ahahah totally my type hahahahaahh
Oh jeethus christtthhh
I realized that too!
Simple Shades 😂
Moral of the story: Don't judge people based on their voice. And don't judge them in general. Mind your business ♡
@ I Manos I , But that's the problem. People are very prejudice
that is not the moral, the moral is to look closely and understand, not live in ignorance but put it to a point of examination.
WiggaMachiavelli - Poofter?? By your own logic and words, I guess it is fair for me to presume that you are a bigot.
Manos, aren't you judging people who are judgmental? Shame on you
I agree with you.
This blew my mind but totally makes so much sense. My oldest brother was out of the house by the time I was 2, my father was not a hands on or emotionally close parent so I was raised and brought up by my mother and sisters. I was definitely a naive little boy who didn’t know I was effeminate until I started getting bullied heavily in Jr. High… it didn’t take long for me to realize what features were being made fun of (speech, vocabulary, way I walk, mannerisms, etc.). I distinctly remember there being a moment where it was like a switch turned on which made me incredibly self conscious of my own voice and who I was as a person so I suppressed my language, tone, pitch, volume, enunciation immensely… I consciously spoke differently each and every time I had to talk for years. At 30, it still happens in a subconscious way... if I’m meeting someone in any capacity for the first time, on the phone, going on a first date, etc. I deepen and lower my voice. Even though I’ve come out and accepted who I am, these subconscious traits remain.
Edit: grammar and punctuation error.
That's sad. Being bullied for your uniqueness.
Are you straight?
like madonna changing her pitch to british to fit in in London
Sorry, my gaydar goes off for both of these guys no matter what their voices sound like.
Exactly. It's not only the voice
That plot twist snatched my edges
These are only exceptions duh
@@nirajsingh8403 not so much
It shows that people don't need to be confined to categories and stereotypes.
I have very feminine voice. Every time I am on the phone, with customer service, I am always acknowledged as a woman; despite providing my full name.
***** I'll take that as a compliment. I enjoy being androgynous in everything I do.
+Freddy Mercury More like a gender bender. I can be a male when I want and be female when I want.
kimmysaeedi91 your name is kimmy, of course you're acknowledged as a woman...
kimmysaeedi91 that makes no sense
@ kimmysaeedi91 , used to be 98 % of time people thought it's a woman on the phone with me. I worked very hard to lower the pitch and inflection of my voice
I've noticed that women, including me, tend to lend a higher softer note to our voices when we're unsure or in a strangers company. Little upticks at the end of a sentence, like adding a question mark. So we're seen as less pushy or bossy. We're unsure of ourselves, so we try and make ourselves seem less forward.
But this isn't everyone. I certainly do it but my voice is normally much deeper.
I totally agree ! When I feel very shy and unconfortable af, my voice becomes soft and very feminine (I hate that) and when I am alone or people which I am cool with, my voice become deep. And when I give orders, my voice become rough, like, really rough.
@@PhanefromBabylone My voice is naturally fairly deep and carries well. I pitch my voice lower when I need to be taken seriously and higher when I want to be less intimidating.
So true! My voice pitch goes up really high when I’m talking to someone I’m not familiar with or when I’m uncomfortable.
Man it must’ve been hilarious when Kris’ parents in law first met him.
Part of this is biological. The guy with the high feminine voice will never be a bass voice, the same way the guy with the low voice will never be high tenor or alto.
Total plot twist when he kissed his wife.
Some gey men have wifes
@@tedarcher9120 honey, thats called bisexual
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@jonnathan1869 Or denial.
I have noticed that my tone of voice constantly changes, depending on my mood, situation and who I'm talking to. For example, when I feel confident, relaxed, read something or talk to a certain person, my voice gets deeper and more vibrating. However, when I'm tired, nervous, stressed out or when I'm talking to a girl or my parents, it suddenly gets more high pitched and weaker and when I'm trying to sound deeper, I get a voice crack.
“They’re wrong and there’s nothing wrong with that”
Kris’s wife seems so lucky! He seems really kind in this feature!
I honestly love men with softer voices!
Same
All men with "gay voice" I've met were straight xD it's weird because I entirely accept the fact of a very masculine man to be gay but take a straight dude with feminine voice and mannerisms and my brain will only define him as gay.
exactly
Greta M. That's what society does to you :)
Because at the very least he's a beta male
Nowhere is there mention of the physiological facts about length and thickness of vocal folds. Length and thickness vary with gender, early hormone exposure, and, as any singer knows, make a difference between a soprano and mezzo-soprano, between a tenor and a bass, etc. Voice, as with most things in life, is a complex mixture of nature and nurture.
@Antonio Perales del Hierro Thickness is even more important that length, I think. But the combo is nice.
I like them long and thick! 😂
I had a funny experience at my workplace when a man I had been speaking with on the phone complimented me on how I did my work. I said something like, "Thank you, I appreciate that". The man then said, "Thank YOU, Andrea". I'd said at the beginning of my call that my name is Andrew!---As I'm aging I've noticed a change in my speech: I have difficulty say the "ths" sound as in "months". It now sounds more lke "munts". Why this is I don't know but I think it may be that I'm trying too hard to enunciate over the phone and/or it's part of aging.---I long ago lost track of how many times on the phone in the workplace I've been referred to as "ma'am", "miss", "the girl" and I've even been called "b****"!
Very eye opening- so easy to jump to erroneous conclusions regarding a person's sexuality.
I lost it at “..strawberriesss”😭
I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I was completely baffled past the 4:30 mark. It just goes to show how regressive stereotyping and profiling can be in ANY context.
I have a friend who talks this way and forever I used to tease him till one day he just straight up told me he was straight.
I was shocked lool.
"....... ssss SSSSS ssss SSSS" loool
I love that they ended the video with that twist. My mouth dropped lmao 😅 just goes to show I have more to learn! Thank you for this video !
That twist though!!!! This was awesome... never assume.
I am exactly the one always mistaken for a woman's voice. When I am in a phone, they always address me as "Miss" or when I hear my voice in record, it cringes me.
It's okay! I get how it might cause insecurities to not sound "masculine" when one has been raised in a patriarchal and homophobic culture (at least that's my case). To this, I would say don't worry! Be proud of who you are and what makes you unique. It has been a long way of deconstructing oppressive structures but now I speak confidently in my voice, the way it naturally is. And screw what other people think!
loved the plot twist what a great way to get people thinking
I’m more on the masculine side, and it seems I dated two girls in High School without my knowledge. Asking your favorite female BFF to dinner and a movie sends the wrong message...who knew? I didn’t. My father doesn’t like I’m 100% out, he says nobody will know unless I tell them. He’s exactly right, and it’s why I tell people. It’s not fair to anyone, especially women. I’m still oblivious when women are flirting with me. However, binge watching Rupaul’s Drag Race turns me into the gayest person on the planet.
The twist made me realise how prejudice I am . Now to be fair I did see that coming and the way it's presented is so cool . Thank you for this video.
Showing Kris kissing his partner felt like a plot twist lol
This guy put out a much larger form of his documentary out on Netflix, it’s very good.
What’s it called?
My friend at the lunch table: Oooo chicken nuggets! Can I have some of your-
Me: 3:36
3:36 my cat at 3am in the night
I knew it! Finally, someone put these together and really explain it.
great twist, NYT!
Let's meet Chris again in five to ten years. Jk, great piece.
xD lol
did he come out yet?
He’s a flamer
Ahahhha
Lol.
chris sounds more like a woman than most women i know.
I really identify with this, people mistake me on phone for a lady all the time. If I order for something online, they just must add 'miss' all the time and am kinda used to it 🤣
It is not a twist if you have a tuned gaydar.
The homophobes are crying right now cause they have a deep voice
Very interesting. I think the linguists are saying that we mostly develop our speech patterns at very young ages, and that it's mostly subconscious. Another side of this conversation is to remember that for many generations of LGBT+ people they could use subtle vocal cues to identify themselves to other LGBT+ people, so some were deliberate affectations in the past.
Watched the feature and it was disappointing because it doesn't seem there is a real answer but this learning theory. How is the "oh they're emulating women" different than the dismissed thinking that gay men are "imitating women" or "coddled by their mothers" as explanation for their sexuality? The film needed to introduce more information about how (non-gay) accents develop to make this point. I don't think it even explored whether or not there is a "gay voice" present in non-American cultures.
It definitely exists in German.
@@MrCmon113 Ja genau und da ist es das Gleiche wie hier in der Doku. Hab schon zwei kennengelernt die super flamboyant sind aber nur mit Frauen schlafen und dafür aber einen Haufen Leute über die gesagt wird: xy kommt überhaupt nicht schwul rüber, obwohl die Leute schwul sind
@@wernerbeinhart2320wow!
I think high voices are cute.
@Danny i think nobody asked.
Ur cute😗
@@sn3145 aw, thanks! You're nice!
There's a dude at my gym who looks and sounds EXACTLY like the late Joel Schumacher. AND he's a hairdresser. Nope, married for decades and kids with grandkids.
Saw the twist coming a mile away lol
I have opposite problem being female since I was a child. Everyone thought I would be a butch lesbian. But as I grew older I realised I love men. But I have trouble sounding like or acting like a feminine female. I am awkward as f. But I love life. Very good report.
I have two guy friends that only grew up with sisters and they have this voice
Still not convinced.
Of what?
Love the twist, this explains why I was surprised to learn that James Corden and Eric Stonestreet aren’t gays.
I love the internet when it’s used for good. But seriously, I throughly enjoy bits and pieces such as this.
Ah that's why I prefer men with more "feminine" voices. They're more likely to open to influence from women, which probably makes them a more harmonic partner.
They both seem the opposite of what they are..this is so confusing!!!
I wasn’t referring to the volume (meaning soft or loud) it was the whole way they used their voice etc.)
Okay, I guess you are right and I am wrong.
What exactly do mean by soft?
Also do you get satisfaction when correct someone?
it's not about the high or low of the voice to me, it's about inflection, slang, etc. I don't see many straight guys going "Hey-aaay how you doin honey girl?"
Another reason why these stereotypes hurt. I too have struggled with my voice and get mistaken as a woman on the phone and I am straight
Whoa
Sadly, I was born on the wrong side of the Pond and suffer from chronic estrogen poisoning, so I sound nothing like the engaging voices modelled for me when I was a kid.
That’s fine. Just speak with confidence and be kind to yourself. How you sound doesn’t define you.