I'm an ENTJ and I just love INTJs. It's a lot about function development and maturity. I appreciate all types but maturity and ability to learn from others and grow is just so vital.
My opinion is that INTJs prefer being alienated as long as society recognizes their superior intelligence or, to be more pecise, what they believe is superior intelligence. Still, INTJs are not very likely to (directly) compliment other/different people (for what they are) and that is why society oftenly doesn't want to recognize/compliment INTJs in a way INTJs think/feel they deserve. As an INTJ, I believe that our need for recognition is our greatest weakness. It awakens emotions which aren't difficult to analyze and find cause. But, when I try to nourish my mind (and emotions) with the right stimulus, I don't end up being satisfied because it wasn't spontaneous and my emotions don't respond to unspontaneous stimulus. Emotions don't follow logical patterns. In that sense, INTJs depend on other people to maintain their balance (to some extent.) I'd say that INTJs have "unhuman mind" (not necessarily smarter/better, but different) in human body.
Yes, I'd like to add to the first part that I find it hard to compliment someone even when I want to because I feel it won't come out as sincere or the way I want it to, and sometimes I won't even bother to avoid alienation as a whole.
What we would really like is that the society had a structure that include us, use our skills like STs SFs NFs, but for a certain laps of time until we are able to get the leading or be able to be independent. The NTs always need to push everyone and create their place and everybody gets upset.
Also an INTJ here. But I'd attribute our desire to feel like we posses "superior intelligence" more to bitterness than anything else. I think that if everyone in the world was an NT type, I don't think we would ever have the need to be recognized for being smarter than average. It's more because our ideas are marginalized by those that don't understand or appreciate our ideas that we have this insecurity, and feel that society needs to compensate us for it's wrongs against us through then recognizing our superiority. I agree with you on the concept of INTJs complimenting other people. INTJs as a group don't tend to compliment others, partially because we feel marginalized and undervalued, which then causes other people to see us as unappreciative, which cycle leads to very few compliments being spoken by either side. And yes, our emotions are our most clumsy tool. INTJs aren't feelers, we don't possess strengths over our emotions and can be quite vulnerable to them, especially if we're turbulent, we need outside help. Yes, I would say we have an "unhuman mind", though I wouldn't phrase it that way. I don't think a non-INTJ mind is inherently human, it's just that Non-INTJs, and especially Sensors are in the majority, thereby having ability to choose what is 'normal' for humans. It is only because those so different from us hold this position of power and influence that we are seen as the 'inhuman' ones. It's not like that's necessarily a bad thing though. Maybe the World needs more sensors than it does intuitives. This could be the way the world was meant to be, and it just so happened that we ended up in the unappreciated minority, at least until we're recognized and respected for who we are. Perhaps it's our cross to bear. Addressing your last point again, I've heard it best described this way: most people are a body that has a mind, INTJs are a mind, that has a body.
I'm an INTJ and it's not always that I don't care to be friends with someone it's just that I either don't know how to go about it or my idea of friendship is much different. I also think that I can't talk to anyone who is not intellectually comparable with me. I do want to belong but people always say that they just don't connect with me. I don't understand how they'd feel something for me or want an emotional connection when they don't know me. I a
I’m an INTP my dad is an INTJ. He wanted to get me into poetry when I was younger. It’s actually hilarious because he’s the worst poet alive but he believes he’s the best. I try not to make fun of him though to encourage him. Usually his poetry is very existentialist, but like if an 8 year old wrote it. When it comes to technical information he is incredible though. As an INTP I would say I’m the only type who is intellectually superior to the INTJ, but not when it comes to applying that knowledge. Which is why INTJ’s believe they’re intellectually superior to INTP’s. The problem is INTP’s suck at real world results, we just want to be right.
This is the same reason maybe House M.D. or Sherlock Holmes may be INTP/INTJ they seem to be able to be both right and competently apply that knowledge all by themselves.
INTJ lol, i'm mostly introverted but I have phases when i enjoy socializing before going back into my shell. I also struggle with having too much knowledge and trying to have conversations with ignorant/dumb people. this is why we should either find other intj friends or be alone
They totally blew past the reason intj's feel both good and bad about alienation. In my opinion it has to do with who is alienating the intj. Of course everyone wants to be accepted in a general sense and that is why intj's do not like alienation. The other part is that intj types do not see the general population\average individual as a worthy judge of their character. In a world full of other rational types they wouldn't feel this way. So the paradox stems from the desire of acceptance and the intj's superiority complex both existing at the same time
Am I the only INTJ who experiences this?.... I don't think that I have ever truly been "friends" or society's idea of "friends" with anyone. I think I just get used to them.
Hey I am an INTJ and my best friend is an INTP. We manage to get along pretty well and when we disagree we put the facts over the table and try yo understand how the other arrived to his conclusion. Its hard for me to believe those types get along badly from my experience, but I may not have met enough INTP's
Alex painted a perfect verbal picture of my life lol... There have been multiple times where someone asks me a paradox of a question and ill literally come back a week later with an answer. Its hilarious that someone else actually does this!
I love raw emotion. Sometimes I ask my NT friends about more personal stuff because I don't think they realize that they're having those emotions. But I was told I was too sensitive and thin-skinned as a kid and now I feel embarrassed to show my emotions when I'm really feeling them. It's fine for me to say that I'm upset about something, but it's another thing for me to cry in front of my roommate. I did that the other day and she went to bed. So needless to say, I won't be doing that again..
No, I'm an INFJ girl and basically all my guy friends are INTJs. I find that they're amazing and they seem to be drawn to my F whereas I'm drawn to their T.
At last, something on the internet that I can relate to. Since I'm an INTJ, I can relate to me being right and precise in my methods of thinking. Thinking that everyone around me are immature and don't understand and think as I do, I still have to remind myself of the many differences of the social environment. Thank you for the video. Although I couldn't be in front of a camera, it would be a very short video :-)
I love to see the distinction between you guys! mike who is an extrovert, talks fluently and his f is showing a lot by how he present himself. While Alex, though a bit cocky use a lot of intervals umms in between sentences due to his introversion and speak very precisely. Alex reminds me of Mar Zuckerberg, who is also an INTJ. Good job Mike, really love your work!
"superior INTJ will win" I'm an ENFJ married for nearly 6 years to an INTJ. You can win - you just have to play by their rules (according to the INTJ). Or, translate the information so it can enter their fussy processor (according to the ENFJ). ;) And my INTJ is a cop. And I am often accused of being clingy. And if I had a nickel for every time I was told an idea of mine was ridiculous I'd be a RICH WOMAN. But I do make him think, and "make life much more exciting."
His emotions are so raw and unfiltered, I am often floored. It is not my strongsuit........dealing with the such raw emotion. He breaks down and he really wants to hear what I think, because he wants to hear something objective. I know it's the NT NF attraction, to hear each others views, I just am not at my best with it. Maybe I need that challenge. Thanks for your help.
I love what was said at the beginning and the end of the video most. I can totally relate to the alienation thing. It is hard for me being a women dealing with these issues because society says women are supposed to be outgoing and bubbly, and I don't follow societies rules, unless they are governmental laws I have to abide lol. I do what is right for me to thine own self be true, if it is not genuine then I can get behind it, I have to be loyal to myself and others no matter the cost.
I'm an INFP, and I totally relate to the alienation and the whole deciding which people are "worthy". Except, my process of selecting people is less concrete and conscious. Just replace "INTJ" with "INFP, "SP" with "SJ", and "NT" with "NF".
My sister is an INTP and I am an INTJ. We argue constantly, but most of the time the debate goes nowhere because she either refuses to hear what I have to say or we only come to find that we were actually arguing the same point. In which case she still tries to disagree with me. I can basically sum up my relationship with my sister with "UGH."
Alex, thks for putting into few words what can potentially frustrate an INTJ when dealing with SPs, I very much agree. I'm an INTJ as well & convincing someone who's going to be convinced otherwise by someone else a few moments later is tough (especially when I have to manage SPs at work!) Mark thks for your simple explanation on how "the friend of the NTs are the SJs". In all my reading on the topic I had not really found out why I pretty much surround myself only with SJs (ESFJs). Cool videos
I was really amused when you started talking about the INTJ vs INTP thing, since my brother is an INTP and I am an INTJ. And yes, I can very much attest to the fact that while we enjoy discussing many a thing with each other, when we disagree it can pretty ugly. The two of us have gotten into some horrible arguments over the years about things we essentially agreed on, just had very different ways of approaching and conclusions about.
As I was watching Alex talk and occasionally kind of struggling with his words, I realized I'd just found a kindred soul! I feel like as an INTJ I sometimes have trouble conveying in words exactly what is in my mind. It's this weird thing where I have a fully formed thought in my brain that just falls apart as soon as I try to vocalize it and then I have to pause for a few seconds and collect it again. I like your guys' rapport, you've got that ENFP-INTJ duality going on! Soulmates of the MBTI
The interaction between you two is so freaking funny. I Actually found myself laughing out loud (HARD) several times during this video, especially at the part where you were talking about the elusive "NF connection". Keep doing videos with you two! ENFP here
My infj friend dumped me for not remembering the one year anniversary of the passing of his brother. I became friends with him "post" sibling death unaware of it's significance. Am I a insensitive ass or is he a narccisist? When I told him I was unaware he told me I should have known how important it was to him........he made no mention of it at all, and now it's over, to quote him. PS.....I posted a NF Geek challenge. Sorry it's so long.
I do answer his questions in these raw moments, I just shake my head and say "dude you know how much this bothers me" He wants not an NF but an NT perspective because his girlfriend and mom are all infj. I tell you when I am with the 3 of them, it's often a nightmare....tears, hugs, the whole lot. It's not my domain, they all want my insights. I just mean the clinginess, the neededness, I find it hard to deal with. I'm trying, I really am, because he is a friend. Thank you vey much
+Black Earth Productions What did you honestly get out of it? I am also an INTJ and I just cannot see how the content of this video is life-improving...
they will NEVER know us....., hell..., we don't even know us........, hahaha.., just kidding.., no.., I know more about my diposition that those that think they know ever could.., it's interesting.., but I actually border by 1% difference with INTJ and INFJ...., I am both
Quite true on the "alienation" part. I do prefer to be different from people rather than follow the rest of the crowd. Everything comes with its pros and cons. Personally, I think at least most of the interview(s) are spot on. As an INTJ, totally relatable.
I concur with that first statement and relate. I relish in the alienation as well being an INFP for the reasons described. I think thats why INFP and INTJ friendships work because I relate to a lot of this. INFPs accept the "weird" INTJs with no problem and vice versa, usually.
oh yes(adding to the things i said on the previous video), this also quite often happens when im debating for ages with an INTJ, just to essentially figure that they were talking about the same thing, but were just unable to communicate it properly(
@10:58 I've had interactions with INTJ's like this but it never ends up to them taking action on the new unless it's no longer a choice... I'm an ENTP btw
Haha that cop + NT encounter you speak of is exactly what happened to me a couple years ago! I was appalled the cop would not listen to my side of the story...
At first intj are like that, don't have any time for people who talk nonsense. True that they don't meet my expectation then cut relationship. Yes, I feel that too, alienated even if they are intj. I don't trust any SP. I don't like S people. Unless S with appropriate N elements, eg: human right, respect, not overly material oriented and a must have status attitude. It is hard to be balance with Feelers, but learning to appreciate their intention (lots of effort) able to be a better Intj. Learning to balance my other temperament is the key point. Yes, NT knows each other better but not all. ENTx are very self centered. Intp sometimes are aloof, and they are into their own dream world. Xntp are very into the things and sometimes don't know how to come back to real world.
We seem to fascinate each other, yet at the same time frustrate each other. That was the point I was trying to make with my original statement you responded to. Just trying to understand NF more because our relationship is very important to me. I have found that some "distance" is essentional between us because his emotions and empathy conflict with my need to be objective and rational. Especially when he is full on NF. I appreciate any advice you have.
I can see that the two types naturally interested in others, but they have very different approaches to one same problem! And when they disagree, things become quite... a mess! It's amazing because normally, the opponents' points of view do not have that much effects to both types!
I (INFJ) often find myself getting along well with INTJs because I know I can debate & intellectually challenge them without them taking it personally. It feels "safe," because I know I am unlikely to hurt their feelings, & their inclination to debate & challenge me also is nothing personal. Also, I think that INFJs have a certain inner rebel that we often suppress that INTJ friends can help us vocalize b/c they are less concerned with maintaining harmony in their social environments.
i totally agree with alex. OMG i will only befriend someone if they are close to the same intellectual level if not i will find no common ground with that person. I do enjoy being alienated but i also kind of hate it.
I think I speak for most INTPs when I say... were not sorry! :D why should a discussion or even an argument have to have a point or come to a solid conclusion? Does life have a point? Maybe not but its the journey that probably counts along with other things.. and even that is still debatable to an INTP so what possible reason would I have to want to come to a conclusion and 'close the book'? Or not close it but at the time actually believe that it is sound and not missing something just because, its my point? INTJ frowns all around..
I was watching a video on a channel called 'CognitiveTypes', and they did a ton of videos analyzing physical behaviors/mannerisms of different types, and attributed the similarities to function stacks. Are they reading too much into it?
As an INTJ I have little or no interest in the social scene . I do not dislike speaking with people . I actually quite enjoy having a conversation with a person . But have
Ahhh. Haha, sorry, just sleep deprived and misread what you said. Oh, absolutely. My roommate is also an INTJ and every time she feels like something is wrong with her for being so detached from other people's problems I remind her it's one of her greatest strengths too (she's pre-med so it's a necessity). I think that mutual respect and admiration is what really makes the relationship work.
(cont.) the feeling function. However, a few years ago I've really developed the thinking side as well and I think I rotate between these two depending on what the issue is. Is this normal? How can I figure out for sure which function I use primarily? The quizzes give me different answers. Thanks for all your videos guys. You guys are great.
LOL Great answer! You are much more self effacing than my infj friend, and I mean you are more open about your NF preference, and recognize your own NF trait and where it can lead you into trouble with an intj. He tends to really "dig in", when we debate. He can become unreachable......and we have to agree to disagree. Any relationship tips? I mean intj to infj.
yes, but its like, "fitting in vs not fitting in" is a constant battle, but a necessary one to find truth reality. its just others don't quiet understand this.
Interesting. I've assessed my MBTI multiple times at different points in my life. As a teenager, I used to get INTP pretty consistently from different tests. But the last time I tried a test, I got INTJ, although only slightly J, and nearly 50/50 balanced T/F. I've been trying to confirm whether INTJ actually is an accurate description for me, but haven't come to a conclusion yet. However, the being interested in the "journey" and not only the end result sounds very much like me! Makes me think.
Te means extraverted thinking; INTJs are extraverted in their thinking. Auxiliary means secondary, tertiary is third, and inferior is last; the dominant is the dad, auxilary s the mom, tertiary is the elder child, and inferior is the young one.
Though, I have to say where I differ from Alex in social situations is I like to talk to people if I get the sense that they might eventually have something interesting to say, regardless of their intelligence. I think INTP's will agree with me when I say that even idiots have their strokes of brilliance.
OK.. Then u understand we can be frustrating.Not comfortable dealing in area's outside our strengths. Good luck......I was trying to recipricate the advice you have been giving me.
You guys could have also talk about personal confidence. When an INTJ tell personal stuff to someone and that someone go out and tell it to other people and the INTJ knows it. Then the INTJ will probably never talk to them again because the other person break his confidentiality.
It is very interesting for me the ENTJ/INTJ "differences", because I generally prefer to class myself more introverted - I prefer alone time to "recharge" and would generally pick it given an unpressured choice almost every time. Yet, if I am in a social environment I am not all that uncomforable. When I turn on that mindset it really comes naturally to me how to act around people and be "likeable" overall. "hahaha yea keep dreaming" at the start of the vid made me cringe because it instantly
I like the INTP comment about this INTJ seeming to NEED to appear cocky. From my experience with the only INTJ I have ever known, there is an extremely sensitive thing under there and the worst humiliation would be for someone to see it. But the cocky affect is the very thing that puts it in plain sight for everyone to see.
"Say something that will get an INTJ thinking." This is why I think INTJ's and ENFP's often have pretty good relationships. A very natural and enjoyable interaction between ENFP and INTJ is where the ENFP presents a novel idea and the INTJ dives deeper into it. Rinse and repeat.
As an intj I find infj's to be some of the best company to keep. But I also find the so hardheadedly irrational I feel like punching them in the head. Their touchy feely is just so frustrating and stifles what starts out as good convo.
I am an INTJ. My best friend is an INTJ. Another of my friends is an INTJ. I really act like an INTJ to the letter most times, but sometimes i can have fun with some E... friends. I find most at my school beneath my level of academic excellence, then again I am #2 in the senior class. I am strongest in science and math. I really don't like literature, like classics. I read mostly Tom Clancy books, and other books that interest me. I don't understand symbolism or how literary elements add depth.
- inatantly turns people off, and make them look at you strangely that I can (mostly) avoid. People say I am very funny with dry whit... so it overall makes sense for my test result to be borderline introvert consistently.
Jesus. I'm an INFJ and that does sound like a nightmare. I go to a prestigious research university so I guess I surround myself with NTs a lot more and need that F connection. It's interesting how both him and his mom are INFJs though.. and his girlfriend too! He sounds like he might need some balance.. I definitely give my INTJ best friend some space and try not to be too needy when I miss him, haha. I know he cares about me so it's not a big deal. Wish I could help more with that.
No we are very close. We just disagree on some fundamental intellectual precepts. I am absoloutely drawn to his F. We both respect and get each other. He is my Boswell.......defending me to others who misunderstand me. I know hardly any NT's and he is one of the few I can throw all my idea's at. He's very bright, and we both live amongst the sheep as he says. Only man I know more arrogant than me. Very NF, I love his integrity. We are both obsessed with integrity.
Well...first my extroverted intuitiveness is really strong and refined. With it I can get very close and deduce it. I can tell whether someone is an I or an E and usually if they are an SJ, NT, NF, or SP. Sometimes even a P or a J. But if I know you are an I or an E and I figure out the temperament, then that reduces it to a few selections, sometimes two. After that picking one becomes very easy just from talking to them.
So, I'm an INTJ and I know exactly what you mean by the struggle of alienating yourself but also trying to find acceptance. My question is this: is it wiser to learn more about compromising and fitting in (even if you still feel like an outsider) or just embrace being an alien?
I love this vid, Alex is such a typical INTJ and its great, cuz they are hard to find! lol I love learning about the different types and hearing real ppl talk about them. It's totally true about NF's though...sometimes our rampant emotionalism just gets us stuck in a rut and then it's hard to really get anything done. I for one, could use a good slap in the face every once in a while (being an INFP) whatever, I admit it! lol
wow!! i like this video and i am an intj too..something i like about alex is that he can speak his thought very clearly so we can understand it very easy too...may i ask how old is he in that time??i want to learn from him if i can...
Hey! Question: I feel like I am both introverted and extraverted. Is that possible? What I mean is literally I get recharged from both social interaction and private time. Basically, I just can't do one of these two for to long. If I have an excess of private time, I get depressed, but if I have an excess of social time, I get tired. But seriously, I love social interaction and private time. Also, I think I can relate to the feeling and thinking tertiary function. I think I was born with
I would love to have an interview with you. However, I am also an INTJ. Maybe we can have a three-person interview (You, me and Alex), or four if David is there.
As soon as I'm moved, I'm posting a video response. (I'm assuming you guys aren't in the Midwest, so a direct interview probably isn't terribly feasible.) I've got a list of responses to some ideas you've been tossing around--anything you specifically want to ask?
Now I really want to send him a poem. Stupid reverse psychology. Dude bro I'm a INTJ too and The alienated thing totally applies to me too. I got over the whole wishing to be accepted thing though. I realized it wouldn't ever work so I kind of just gave up on it a year ago. Now I only worry about it when others approach me.
I was just tested and my results were INTJ female. Which I feel was correct for when I was a child and "pure". However, can you break an INTJ, since we seem to have very strong wills, so that they no longer have control over their emotions, and how do we regain control?
INTJ's do not argue to Win, they argue to Understand.
Kendya Reyes totally agree. To understand prospective of other, will also look forward if they get any learning from it.
Yes! I have found that debating is the best way to learn, because everyone is motivated to bring their best facts to it.
I'm an ENTJ and I just love INTJs. It's a lot about function development and maturity. I appreciate all types but maturity and ability to learn from others and grow is just so vital.
My opinion is that INTJs prefer being alienated as long as society recognizes their superior intelligence or, to be more pecise, what they believe is superior intelligence. Still, INTJs are not very likely to (directly) compliment other/different people (for what they are) and that is why society oftenly doesn't want to recognize/compliment INTJs in a way INTJs think/feel they deserve.
As an INTJ, I believe that our need for recognition is our greatest weakness. It awakens emotions which aren't difficult to analyze and find cause. But, when I try to nourish my mind (and emotions) with the right stimulus, I don't end up being satisfied because it wasn't spontaneous and my emotions don't respond to unspontaneous stimulus. Emotions don't follow logical patterns. In that sense, INTJs depend on other people to maintain their balance (to some extent.) I'd say that INTJs have "unhuman mind" (not necessarily smarter/better, but different) in human body.
Yes, I'd like to add to the first part that I find it hard to compliment someone even when I want to because I feel it won't come out as sincere or the way I want it to, and sometimes I won't even bother to avoid alienation as a whole.
Or you're just a narcissist.
What we would really like is that the society had a structure that include us, use our skills like STs SFs NFs, but for a certain laps of time until we are able to get the leading or be able to be independent. The NTs always need to push everyone and create their place and everybody gets upset.
That's why ENTJs exist in the world
Also an INTJ here. But I'd attribute our desire to feel like we posses "superior intelligence" more to bitterness than anything else. I think that if everyone in the world was an NT type, I don't think we would ever have the need to be recognized for being smarter than average. It's more because our ideas are marginalized by those that don't understand or appreciate our ideas that we have this insecurity, and feel that society needs to compensate us for it's wrongs against us through then recognizing our superiority.
I agree with you on the concept of INTJs complimenting other people. INTJs as a group don't tend to compliment others, partially because we feel marginalized and undervalued, which then causes other people to see us as unappreciative, which cycle leads to very few compliments being spoken by either side. And yes, our emotions are our most clumsy tool. INTJs aren't feelers, we don't possess strengths over our emotions and can be quite vulnerable to them, especially if we're turbulent, we need outside help. Yes, I would say we have an "unhuman mind", though I wouldn't phrase it that way. I don't think a non-INTJ mind is inherently human, it's just that Non-INTJs, and especially Sensors are in the majority, thereby having ability to choose what is 'normal' for humans. It is only because those so different from us hold this position of power and influence that we are seen as the 'inhuman' ones.
It's not like that's necessarily a bad thing though. Maybe the World needs more sensors than it does intuitives. This could be the way the world was meant to be, and it just so happened that we ended up in the unappreciated minority, at least until we're recognized and respected for who we are. Perhaps it's our cross to bear.
Addressing your last point again, I've heard it best described this way: most people are a body that has a mind, INTJs are a mind, that has a body.
I love Alex's response to Mike's ideas: He's talking bullshit again, better take a drink.
I'm an INTJ and it's not always that I don't care to be friends with someone it's just that I either don't know how to go about it or my idea of friendship is much different. I also think that I can't talk to anyone who is not intellectually comparable with me. I do want to belong but people always say that they just don't connect with me. I don't understand how they'd feel something for me or want an emotional connection when they don't know me. I a
iAMBERdextrous me too.and where i live most not all dont interest me nor stimulate my mind.
I’m an INTP my dad is an INTJ. He wanted to get me into poetry when I was younger. It’s actually hilarious because he’s the worst poet alive but he believes he’s the best. I try not to make fun of him though to encourage him. Usually his poetry is very existentialist, but like if an 8 year old wrote it. When it comes to technical information he is incredible though. As an INTP I would say I’m the only type who is intellectually superior to the INTJ, but not when it comes to applying that knowledge. Which is why INTJ’s believe they’re intellectually superior to INTP’s. The problem is INTP’s suck at real world results, we just want to be right.
This is the same reason maybe House M.D. or Sherlock Holmes may be INTP/INTJ they seem to be able to be both right and competently apply that knowledge all by themselves.
INTJ lol, i'm mostly introverted but I have phases when i enjoy socializing before going back into my shell. I also struggle with having too much knowledge and trying to have conversations with ignorant/dumb people. this is why we should either find other intj friends or be alone
these two interacting is so endearing.
Enfj here. I have an Nf connection with you man. Love you enfp's!!
They totally blew past the reason intj's feel both good and bad about alienation. In my opinion it has to do with who is alienating the intj. Of course everyone wants to be accepted in a general sense and that is why intj's do not like alienation. The other part is that intj types do not see the general population\average individual as a worthy judge of their character. In a world full of other rational types they wouldn't feel this way. So the paradox stems from the desire of acceptance and the intj's superiority complex both existing at the same time
i am an INTJ, and i know for certain Alex is definitely a INTJ too. he is very factual, blunt, and short to to the point likewise
Spot on about INTJ's and the concept of Alienation.
I agree with the closing statement. You'll have my gratitude and respect if you gave me something worth thinking about.
When he said the NFs transcend the laptops I made the same face as the guy LOL
Am I the only INTJ who experiences this?.... I don't think that I have ever truly been "friends" or society's idea of "friends" with anyone. I think I just get used to them.
Hey I am an INTJ and my best friend is an INTP. We manage to get along pretty well and when we disagree we put the facts over the table and try yo understand how the other arrived to his conclusion. Its hard for me to believe those types get along badly from my experience, but I may not have met enough INTP's
Alex painted a perfect verbal picture of my life lol... There have been multiple times where someone asks me a paradox of a question and ill literally come back a week later with an answer. Its hilarious that someone else actually does this!
I love raw emotion. Sometimes I ask my NT friends about more personal stuff because I don't think they realize that they're having those emotions. But I was told I was too sensitive and thin-skinned as a kid and now I feel embarrassed to show my emotions when I'm really feeling them. It's fine for me to say that I'm upset about something, but it's another thing for me to cry in front of my roommate. I did that the other day and she went to bed. So needless to say, I won't be doing that again..
No, I'm an INFJ girl and basically all my guy friends are INTJs. I find that they're amazing and they seem to be drawn to my F whereas I'm drawn to their T.
Alex seems much more relaxed and genuine than in the last video. The wine must be helping!
I'm an INTJ, and though my opinion differs from them, I have a lot of respect for Megatron, dr doom, moriarty, and dr lecter.
Dont forget "the illusive man" ! :D
I only really like the Watchmen in the realm of comics, Rorschach in particular. INTJ here too.
At last, something on the internet that I can relate to. Since I'm an INTJ, I can relate to me being right and precise in my methods of thinking. Thinking that everyone around me are immature and don't understand and think as I do, I still have to remind myself of the many differences of the social environment. Thank you for the video. Although I couldn't be in front of a camera, it would be a very short video :-)
Andrew S facts
I love to see the distinction between you guys! mike who is an extrovert, talks fluently and his f is showing a lot by how he present himself. While Alex, though a bit cocky use a lot of intervals umms in between sentences due to his introversion and speak very precisely. Alex reminds me of Mar Zuckerberg, who is also an INTJ. Good job Mike, really love your work!
"superior INTJ will win"
I'm an ENFJ married for nearly 6 years to an INTJ. You can win - you just have to play by their rules (according to the INTJ). Or, translate the information so it can enter their fussy processor (according to the ENFJ). ;)
And my INTJ is a cop. And I am often accused of being clingy. And if I had a nickel for every time I was told an idea of mine was ridiculous I'd be a RICH WOMAN.
But I do make him think, and "make life much more exciting."
His emotions are so raw and unfiltered, I am often floored. It is not my strongsuit........dealing with the such raw emotion. He breaks down and he really wants to hear what I think, because he wants to hear something objective. I know it's the NT NF attraction, to hear each others views, I just am not at my best with it. Maybe I need that challenge. Thanks for your help.
all of my best friends happen to be INTJ's and you remind me quite a bit of their mannerisms.
I love what was said at the beginning and the end of the video most. I can totally relate to the alienation thing. It is hard for me being a women dealing with these issues because society says women are supposed to be outgoing and bubbly, and I don't follow societies rules, unless they are governmental laws I have to abide lol. I do what is right for me to thine own self be true, if it is not genuine then I can get behind it, I have to be loyal to myself and others no matter the cost.
Hi Alex, fellow INTJ here. I think poems are creepy, too.
I'm an INFP, and I totally relate to the alienation and the whole deciding which people are "worthy". Except, my process of selecting people is less concrete and conscious. Just replace "INTJ" with "INFP, "SP" with "SJ", and "NT" with "NF".
My sister is an INTP and I am an INTJ. We argue constantly, but most of the time the debate goes nowhere because she either refuses to hear what I have to say or we only come to find that we were actually arguing the same point. In which case she still tries to disagree with me. I can basically sum up my relationship with my sister with "UGH."
best part of the whole interview: "I need a poem. you can send one to ME!"
Alex, thks for putting into few words what can potentially frustrate an INTJ when dealing with SPs, I very much agree. I'm an INTJ as well & convincing someone who's going to be convinced otherwise by someone else a few moments later is tough (especially when I have to manage SPs at work!) Mark thks for your simple explanation on how "the friend of the NTs are the SJs". In all my reading on the topic I had not really found out why I pretty much surround myself only with SJs (ESFJs). Cool videos
Nice set of The History of Civilization!
NFs reading each other despite not knowing who they are, that is true!
I was really amused when you started talking about the INTJ vs INTP thing, since my brother is an INTP and I am an INTJ. And yes, I can very much attest to the fact that while we enjoy discussing many a thing with each other, when we disagree it can pretty ugly. The two of us have gotten into some horrible arguments over the years about things we essentially agreed on, just had very different ways of approaching and conclusions about.
As I was watching Alex talk and occasionally kind of struggling with his words, I realized I'd just found a kindred soul! I feel like as an INTJ I sometimes have trouble conveying in words exactly what is in my mind. It's this weird thing where I have a fully formed thought in my brain that just falls apart as soon as I try to vocalize it and then I have to pause for a few seconds and collect it again.
I like your guys' rapport, you've got that ENFP-INTJ duality going on! Soulmates of the MBTI
The interaction between you two is so freaking funny. I Actually found myself laughing out loud (HARD) several times during this video, especially at the part where you were talking about the elusive "NF connection". Keep doing videos with you two!
ENFP here
My infj friend dumped me for not remembering the one year anniversary of the passing of his brother. I became friends with him "post" sibling death unaware of it's significance. Am I a insensitive ass or is he a narccisist? When I told him I was unaware he told me I should have known how important it was to him........he made no mention of it at all, and now it's over, to quote him.
PS.....I posted a NF Geek challenge. Sorry it's so long.
INTJ fan here. Love the conversation. Hope to see more!
I do answer his questions in these raw moments, I just shake my head and say "dude you know how much this bothers me" He wants not an NF but an NT perspective because his girlfriend and mom are all infj. I tell you when I am with the 3 of them, it's often a nightmare....tears, hugs, the whole lot. It's not my domain, they all want my insights. I just mean the clinginess, the neededness, I find it hard to deal with. I'm trying, I really am, because he is a friend. Thank you vey much
INTJ........, right here.., appreciate this video guys
+Black Earth Productions What did you honestly get out of it? I am also an INTJ and I just cannot see how the content of this video is life-improving...
+C J Allison Anything mentioning Picard and Kirk is instantly life-improving.
they will NEVER know us....., hell..., we don't even know us........, hahaha.., just kidding.., no.., I know more about my diposition that those that think they know ever could.., it's interesting.., but I actually border by 1% difference with INTJ and INFJ...., I am both
boy is gorgeous
Quite true on the "alienation" part. I do prefer to be different from people rather than follow the rest of the crowd. Everything comes with its pros and cons. Personally, I think at least most of the interview(s) are spot on. As an INTJ, totally relatable.
I concur with that first statement and relate. I relish in the alienation as well being an INFP for the reasons described. I think thats why INFP and INTJ friendships work because I relate to a lot of this. INFPs accept the "weird" INTJs with no problem and vice versa, usually.
oh yes(adding to the things i said on the previous video), this also quite often happens when im debating for ages with an INTJ, just to essentially figure that they were talking about the same thing, but were just unable to communicate it properly(
Mike, your laugh is superb. I laughed so hard when you cracked up about his comment on SJs omg
@10:58 I've had interactions with INTJ's like this but it never ends up to them taking action on the new unless it's no longer a choice... I'm an ENTP btw
Another great video! Thanks to both of you!
Haha that cop + NT encounter you speak of is exactly what happened to me a couple years ago! I was appalled the cop would not listen to my side of the story...
At first intj are like that, don't have any time for people who talk nonsense. True that they don't meet my expectation then cut relationship. Yes, I feel that too, alienated even if they are intj. I don't trust any SP. I don't like S people. Unless S with appropriate N elements, eg: human right, respect, not overly material oriented and a must have status attitude. It is hard to be balance with Feelers, but learning to appreciate their intention (lots of effort) able to be a better Intj. Learning to balance my other temperament is the key point. Yes, NT knows each other better but not all. ENTx are very self centered. Intp sometimes are aloof, and they are into their own dream world. Xntp are very into the things and sometimes don't know how to come back to real world.
We seem to fascinate each other, yet at the same time frustrate each other. That was the point I was trying to make with my original statement you responded to. Just trying to understand NF more because our relationship is very important to me. I have found that some "distance" is essentional between us because his emotions and empathy conflict with my need to be objective and rational. Especially when he is full on NF. I appreciate any advice you have.
I can see that the two types naturally interested in others, but they have very different approaches to one same problem! And when they disagree, things become quite... a mess! It's amazing because normally, the opponents' points of view do not have that much effects to both types!
I (INFJ) often find myself getting along well with INTJs because I know I can debate & intellectually challenge them without them taking it personally. It feels "safe," because I know I am unlikely to hurt their feelings, & their inclination to debate & challenge me also is nothing personal. Also, I think that INFJs have a certain inner rebel that we often suppress that INTJ friends can help us vocalize b/c they are less concerned with maintaining harmony in their social environments.
i totally agree with alex. OMG i will only befriend someone if they are close to the same intellectual level if not i will find no common ground with that person. I do enjoy being alienated but i also kind of hate it.
I think I speak for most INTPs when I say... were not sorry! :D why should a discussion or even an argument have to have a point or come to a solid conclusion? Does life have a point? Maybe not but its the journey that probably counts along with other things.. and even that is still debatable to an INTP so what possible reason would I have to want to come to a conclusion and 'close the book'? Or not close it but at the time actually believe that it is sound and not missing something just because, its my point? INTJ frowns all around..
I was watching a video on a channel called 'CognitiveTypes', and they did a ton of videos analyzing physical behaviors/mannerisms of different types, and attributed the similarities to function stacks. Are they reading too much into it?
i agree!! NF's do have a connection with one another. Great video!! I like IntJ's ^_^
As an INTJ I have little or no interest in the social scene . I do not dislike speaking with people . I actually quite enjoy having a conversation with a person . But have
Ahhh. Haha, sorry, just sleep deprived and misread what you said. Oh, absolutely. My roommate is also an INTJ and every time she feels like something is wrong with her for being so detached from other people's problems I remind her it's one of her greatest strengths too (she's pre-med so it's a necessity). I think that mutual respect and admiration is what really makes the relationship work.
This is so me. Every damn word he said. Was relatable af
Shouldn't have written that poem for that INTJ. She said she liked it, I wonder how bad she lied. I wonder how creepy lol
(cont.) the feeling function. However, a few years ago I've really developed the thinking side as well and I think I rotate between these two depending on what the issue is. Is this normal? How can I figure out for sure which function I use primarily? The quizzes give me different answers. Thanks for all your videos guys. You guys are great.
as an INTJ, we "lose" arguments because they're inconsequential in the grander scheme. INTPs win many battles, INTJs win the war.
LOL Great answer! You are much more self effacing than my infj friend, and I mean you are more open about your NF preference, and recognize your own NF trait and where it can lead you into trouble with an intj. He tends to really "dig in", when we debate. He can become unreachable......and we have to agree to disagree. Any relationship tips? I mean intj to infj.
yes, but its like, "fitting in vs not fitting in" is a constant battle, but a necessary one to find truth reality. its just others don't quiet understand this.
Interesting. I've assessed my MBTI multiple times at different points in my life. As a teenager, I used to get INTP pretty consistently from different tests. But the last time I tried a test, I got INTJ, although only slightly J, and nearly 50/50 balanced T/F. I've been trying to confirm whether INTJ actually is an accurate description for me, but haven't come to a conclusion yet. However, the being interested in the "journey" and not only the end result sounds very much like me! Makes me think.
Te means extraverted thinking; INTJs are extraverted in their thinking. Auxiliary means secondary, tertiary is third, and inferior is last; the dominant is the dad, auxilary s the mom, tertiary is the elder child, and inferior is the young one.
Love the dry, witty humor.
Though, I have to say where I differ from Alex in social situations is I like to talk to people if I get the sense that they might eventually have something interesting to say, regardless of their intelligence. I think INTP's will agree with me when I say that even idiots have their strokes of brilliance.
OK.. Then u understand we can be frustrating.Not comfortable dealing in area's outside our strengths. Good luck......I was trying to recipricate the advice you have been giving me.
"Kirk is a Feeling type and Picard is a Thinking type".
Pretty sure Kirk is an ENTP.
You guys could have also talk about personal confidence. When an INTJ tell personal stuff to someone and that someone go out and tell it to other people and the INTJ knows it. Then the INTJ will probably never talk to them again because the other person break his confidentiality.
Messages sent here to the channel inbox I usually get.
It is very interesting for me the ENTJ/INTJ "differences", because I generally prefer to class myself more introverted - I prefer alone time to "recharge" and would generally pick it given an unpressured choice almost every time.
Yet, if I am in a social environment I am not all that uncomforable. When I turn on that mindset it really comes naturally to me how to act around people and be "likeable" overall. "hahaha yea keep dreaming" at the start of the vid made me cringe because it instantly
I like the INTP comment about this INTJ seeming to NEED to appear cocky. From my experience with the only INTJ I have ever known, there is an extremely sensitive thing under there and the worst humiliation would be for someone to see it. But the cocky affect is the very thing that puts it in plain sight for everyone to see.
"Say something that will get an INTJ thinking." This is why I think INTJ's and ENFP's often have pretty good relationships. A very natural and enjoyable interaction between ENFP and INTJ is where the ENFP presents a novel idea and the INTJ dives deeper into it. Rinse and repeat.
As an intj I find infj's to be some of the best company to keep. But I also find the so hardheadedly irrational I feel like punching them in the head. Their touchy feely is just so frustrating and stifles what starts out as good convo.
I am an INTJ. My best friend is an INTJ. Another of my friends is an INTJ. I really act like an INTJ to the letter most times, but sometimes i can have fun with some E... friends. I find most at my school beneath my level of academic excellence, then again I am #2 in the senior class. I am strongest in science and math.
I really don't like literature, like classics. I read mostly Tom Clancy books, and other books that interest me. I don't understand symbolism or how literary elements add depth.
- inatantly turns people off, and make them look at you strangely that I can (mostly) avoid. People say I am very funny with dry whit... so it overall makes sense for my test result to be borderline introvert consistently.
Jesus. I'm an INFJ and that does sound like a nightmare. I go to a prestigious research university so I guess I surround myself with NTs a lot more and need that F connection. It's interesting how both him and his mom are INFJs though.. and his girlfriend too! He sounds like he might need some balance.. I definitely give my INTJ best friend some space and try not to be too needy when I miss him, haha. I know he cares about me so it's not a big deal. Wish I could help more with that.
No we are very close. We just disagree on some fundamental intellectual precepts. I am absoloutely drawn to his F. We both respect and get each other. He is my Boswell.......defending me to others who misunderstand me. I know hardly any NT's and he is one of the few I can throw all my idea's at. He's very bright, and we both live amongst the sheep as he says. Only man I know more arrogant than me. Very NF, I love his integrity. We are both obsessed with integrity.
Yup. That happens to me all of the time, I trust NO ONE!!!
Well...first my extroverted intuitiveness is really strong and refined. With it I can get very close and deduce it. I can tell whether someone is an I or an E and usually if they are an SJ, NT, NF, or SP. Sometimes even a P or a J. But if I know you are an I or an E and I figure out the temperament, then that reduces it to a few selections, sometimes two. After that picking one becomes very easy just from talking to them.
So, I'm an INTJ and I know exactly what you mean by the struggle of alienating yourself but also trying to find acceptance. My question is this: is it wiser to learn more about compromising and fitting in (even if you still feel like an outsider) or just embrace being an alien?
We do have search committee. We are taking applications.
I love this vid, Alex is such a typical INTJ and its great, cuz they are hard to find! lol I love learning about the different types and hearing real ppl talk about them. It's totally true about NF's though...sometimes our rampant emotionalism just gets us stuck in a rut and then it's hard to really get anything done. I for one, could use a good slap in the face every once in a while (being an INFP) whatever, I admit it! lol
wow!! i like this video and i am an intj too..something i like about alex is that he can speak his thought very clearly so we can understand it very easy too...may i ask how old is he in that time??i want to learn from him if i can...
Hey! Question: I feel like I am both introverted and extraverted. Is that possible? What I mean is literally I get recharged from both social interaction and private time. Basically, I just can't do one of these two for to long. If I have an excess of private time, I get depressed, but if I have an excess of social time, I get tired. But seriously, I love social interaction and private time. Also, I think I can relate to the feeling and thinking tertiary function. I think I was born with
I would love to have an interview with you. However, I am also an INTJ. Maybe we can have a three-person interview (You, me and Alex), or four if David is there.
Yes you would know cause one INTJ can speak for all
Please do more videos with Alex!
As soon as I'm moved, I'm posting a video response. (I'm assuming you guys aren't in the Midwest, so a direct interview probably isn't terribly feasible.) I've got a list of responses to some ideas you've been tossing around--anything you specifically want to ask?
nice one
Intj here, close friends with an infj. We agree to disagree on everything, unable to convince the other of our conclusions. Is this typical?
I have had that exact same difficulty getting my own views across with extroverted NTs
i want to hear the poem lol
Now I really want to send him a poem. Stupid reverse psychology. Dude bro I'm a INTJ too and The alienated thing totally applies to me too. I got over the whole wishing to be accepted thing though. I realized it wouldn't ever work so I kind of just gave up on it a year ago. Now I only worry about it when others approach me.
I say this because I'd very much like to see an ENTP/ENFP interview.
The greatest knowledge lies in simplicity, essentially making it idiot proof.
I was just tested and my results were INTJ female. Which I feel was correct for when I was a child and "pure". However, can you break an INTJ, since we seem to have very strong wills, so that they no longer have control over their emotions, and how do we regain control?