Hugging at the workplace is weird and by and large shouldn’t be done (especially during a pandemic) and I’m saying this as a hugger. I’m a consultant and have been hugged by a client and while I wasn’t uncomfortable, I was rather taken aback. Boundaries are healthy and the ability to say “no” should always be there. I will disagree on the “colleagues are not your friends” parts though. For a lot of people the only place they see other people is in the workplace so they can and do create friendships through it. If you’re lucky enough to work with people that are enjoyable to be around I don’t think it’s wrong to foster friendships. Overall I agree though that it’s best to keep affection out of the workplace, regardless of how open one is. Handshakes and high fives are fine but anything else is asking for trouble. It’s kind of sad that the pandemic gives a convenient excuse to say “eh no thanks” to physical contact when anyone should be able to do so anyway without feeling any pressure/repercussions. Thanks for the video. Found you through the Arcane fathers video and really enjoyed it.
Great comment and detail. Its tricky to be sure and doesn’t help how confusing the ‘rules’ are. Glad you enjoyed it, more videos like that on the way :)
Hi Cathryn, I am also a hugger, and I sometimes hug *some* of my co-workers, especially if I haven't seen them in a long time. For me, it's all about relationship. If I am close to an individual, and both them and I connect through physical touch, then I believe that is okay even if that person is my co-worker. The problem of course is not hugging itself, or professionalism, or co-workers. The problem is lack of communication. That lack of communication goes fairly deep as it is both an issue culturally and individually. Boundaries are healthy, and boundaries (like not being okay with hugging someone) get violated when they are not communicated. Of course, I am addressing healthy relationships. If you are in an abusive relationship, you should get professional help and/or get out of the relationship because abusers will violate your boundaries even if they are clearly communicated. To the point, if you don't want a hug, you need to tell them that. If you don't communicate, you are leaving it to chance which is disrespectful of yourself, it also communicates that you don't care about the relationship, and it causes unnecessary hurt for everybody involved. All the best. :)
There are more reasons why physical touch is discouraged within the workplace. Affection and relationships between colleagues is discouraged because it benefits capital. If employees are not friends they are less likely to think in a collective manner and advocate for their well-being. The workplace encourages alienation which is a further product of capitalism. Just like how people are discouraged from talking about their salaries. The workplace doesn’t want people to band together for their well-being. In the current day people all over the world are feeling more and more alienated from their own lives. More and more of the human experience is turned into a commodity to be bought and sold, at the expense of these who make it and by it.
Video on The Expanse coming this week! This short video came out of a work reunion recently where I saw lots of hugging and it reminded me how much I've seen hugging in the workplace. Why do you think this is? Have you experienced this?
IDK, this is not a simple thing even if it seems like it is. First for a lot of people work is the only place where the socialize and have human contact, people like this want and need the workplace to support physical contact. It's also not conductive to the "culture" that corporation usually wanna push for and being a familiy in the workplace. Also regarding the effect of metoo, i don't think metoo's objective was never to actually help the common woman deal with abuse. If you want to make a movement to help women deal with abuse you make sources for them to inform themselves of the actual concrete right they have, the resources they have to protect them, most of the metoo was just "Girl power!!" and was just used by some high profile women to push to have 30 second of fame or generate money in some way. That and to enable witch hunts, i think is very telling that when Henry Cavill decided, fine i'm not interacting with women in the workplace more than necessary because that's basically what metoo is demanding and the amount of push back he got you think he might have sacrificed a baby on live tv or something. In my personal experience it actively hurted women in vulnerable position it didn't help them at all. Back to hugs, most people want physical contact with those the work with and perceive close to them, even if it's not logical. Would a lot of things improve and be easier if not? Probably. But i don't see that happening any time soon. There is also the fact that people want out of the pandemic, so they force thing to feel more "normal". Idk human contact is a surprisingly complex subject sometimes.
Thoughtful comment, it’s definitely not simple. I think in some ways it’s been a long time in the works, mixing of men and women in the workforce + the constant corporate push of ‘bring your whole self to work’ that shifts the lens of work to a social environment. Perhaps in some workplaces it makes sense but for the most part it creates a storm of complications, which is why you’d think code of conduct and HR would actively work to minimize this risk. Romantic Relationship with coworkers are emphasized as Nono for example, but then there isn’t a firmer line about physical contact with the small steps that lead that way. Certainly a 5 minute video isn’t going to cover all the complexities, appreciate your thinking here
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Hugging at the workplace is weird and by and large shouldn’t be done (especially during a pandemic) and I’m saying this as a hugger. I’m a consultant and have been hugged by a client and while I wasn’t uncomfortable, I was rather taken aback. Boundaries are healthy and the ability to say “no” should always be there.
I will disagree on the “colleagues are not your friends” parts though. For a lot of people the only place they see other people is in the workplace so they can and do create friendships through it. If you’re lucky enough to work with people that are enjoyable to be around I don’t think it’s wrong to foster friendships.
Overall I agree though that it’s best to keep affection out of the workplace, regardless of how open one is. Handshakes and high fives are fine but anything else is asking for trouble. It’s kind of sad that the pandemic gives a convenient excuse to say “eh no thanks” to physical contact when anyone should be able to do so anyway without feeling any pressure/repercussions.
Thanks for the video. Found you through the Arcane fathers video and really enjoyed it.
Great comment and detail. Its tricky to be sure and doesn’t help how confusing the ‘rules’ are.
Glad you enjoyed it, more videos like that on the way :)
Hi Cathryn,
I am also a hugger, and I sometimes hug *some* of my co-workers, especially if I haven't seen them in a long time. For me, it's all about relationship. If I am close to an individual, and both them and I connect through physical touch, then I believe that is okay even if that person is my co-worker. The problem of course is not hugging itself, or professionalism, or co-workers. The problem is lack of communication. That lack of communication goes fairly deep as it is both an issue culturally and individually. Boundaries are healthy, and boundaries (like not being okay with hugging someone) get violated when they are not communicated. Of course, I am addressing healthy relationships. If you are in an abusive relationship, you should get professional help and/or get out of the relationship because abusers will violate your boundaries even if they are clearly communicated.
To the point, if you don't want a hug, you need to tell them that. If you don't communicate, you are leaving it to chance which is disrespectful of yourself, it also communicates that you don't care about the relationship, and it causes unnecessary hurt for everybody involved.
All the best. :)
There are more reasons why physical touch is discouraged within the workplace. Affection and relationships between colleagues is discouraged because it benefits capital. If employees are not friends they are less likely to think in a collective manner and advocate for their well-being. The workplace encourages alienation which is a further product of capitalism. Just like how people are discouraged from talking about their salaries. The workplace doesn’t want people to band together for their well-being.
In the current day people all over the world are feeling more and more alienated from their own lives. More and more of the human experience is turned into a commodity to be bought and sold, at the expense of these who make it and by it.
Interesting POV thanks for sharing
I'm down a TH-cam rabbit hole & found you.
Happy to be here, as a new sub.
I've done the same, welcome aboard :)
Video on The Expanse coming this week!
This short video came out of a work reunion recently where I saw lots of hugging and it reminded me how much I've seen hugging in the workplace. Why do you think this is? Have you experienced this?
IDK, this is not a simple thing even if it seems like it is. First for a lot of people work is the only place where the socialize and have human contact, people like this want and need the workplace to support physical contact. It's also not conductive to the "culture" that corporation usually wanna push for and being a familiy in the workplace.
Also regarding the effect of metoo, i don't think metoo's objective was never to actually help the common woman deal with abuse. If you want to make a movement to help women deal with abuse you make sources for them to inform themselves of the actual concrete right they have, the resources they have to protect them, most of the metoo was just "Girl power!!" and was just used by some high profile women to push to have 30 second of fame or generate money in some way. That and to enable witch hunts, i think is very telling that when Henry Cavill decided, fine i'm not interacting with women in the workplace more than necessary because that's basically what metoo is demanding and the amount of push back he got you think he might have sacrificed a baby on live tv or something. In my personal experience it actively hurted women in vulnerable position it didn't help them at all.
Back to hugs, most people want physical contact with those the work with and perceive close to them, even if it's not logical. Would a lot of things improve and be easier if not? Probably. But i don't see that happening any time soon. There is also the fact that people want out of the pandemic, so they force thing to feel more "normal". Idk human contact is a surprisingly complex subject sometimes.
Thoughtful comment, it’s definitely not simple. I think in some ways it’s been a long time in the works, mixing of men and women in the workforce + the constant corporate push of ‘bring your whole self to work’ that shifts the lens of work to a social environment. Perhaps in some workplaces it makes sense but for the most part it creates a storm of complications, which is why you’d think code of conduct and HR would actively work to minimize this risk. Romantic Relationship with coworkers are emphasized as Nono for example, but then there isn’t a firmer line about physical contact with the small steps that lead that way.
Certainly a 5 minute video isn’t going to cover all the complexities, appreciate your thinking here