Dealing with anxiety (especially social anxiety)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ม.ค. 2017
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- So here's my story and thoughts on dealing with anxiety! I still don't really know how to organize my thoughts for this topic so if anything's confusing or if you have any questions you can just ask, and hopefully I'll be able to answer. :p
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Having anxiety and depression together is unbearable😢 and I hate being shy and having no self confidence
Hayley 헤일리 Glad to know I am not the only one.
So much fun, right? NOT.
hugs,keep moving ,if you can get help. im fighting both as well and even just talking to someone who is outside of your life can help sooo much.
try her advice, it really helps. anxiety and depression go hand in hand. depression makes it so you dont want to do anything, but you have to acknowledge that and move past it by forcing yourself to do things anyway. eventually what started as a chore may turn into something you like to do. also talking to someone helps, therapists, etc. i didnt like my doctors advice because i dont like pills that alter my mental state, but it works for some people.
Ikr it's a endless cycle
I am a new youtuber as well since last year and I too need support from others by subscribing to my channel and watching the videos.
A friend of my family once said, "You should never criticize yourself, even in your head, because there is no one there to defend your side."
As I got older, I realized there was a deep truth in that. Sorry if that seems off topic, but your comments about saying things in the mirror and it making a difference reminded me of what he taught me.
This is so precious!! Thanks for sharing!
Wow. Thanks for sharing this. I have really bad habit of criticising myself and I have to change that
Thanks for sharing. I should keep his advise in mind.
thank you for sharing this ❤
I used to badmouth myself so much and one day i stopped and started saying opposite things even if i didn't believe or it was sarcastic i started to realize how much i had been my own enemy and if someone was gonna stick up for me it was me. So yeah. We get enough poo flung at us from others. We need to be our own best friend.
Easiest way to explain heart palpitations from anxiety, is falling backwards in a chair or missing a few steps going down stairs.
Thank you for sharing some of your personal life ! :)
That's a great explanation!!
Rachel & Jun's Adventures! Thanks! I wish you luck bettering yourself even further. :) Also happy new years! (Belated, sorry lol)
Allistor Kirkland I miss a few steps going up the stairs
Omg so true
Super late to this but that is the PERFECT way to explain it omg
I get anxiety because I feel like everyone expects something out of me and then I get depressed because I feel like I'm not good enough. Then I get all sluggish and can't do anything because of the depression, but still feel anxious because I still feel like people are watching me, so I have to cover up the way I feel as much as possible. It's a cycle. They both go hand in hand :c
Is anxiety Something Like Depression? The only Thing the Google translator spits out is "Angst" the German Word for fear :/ could you discribe it? Thx ^^
AnimeIntensity I am going through the same thing
Exactly...you just put into words how I've been felling...thank you
AnimeIntensity my relating is over 9000!!!!!!
@@jimmyschwarz9075 Anxiety is something like being constantly in fear for any reasons, this is a fear in fact, and it can get really high, u can have a fear of going outside (social anxiety), not feeling of being good enough to the point of not being capable of doing something.
And this is related to depression. U can be depressed and get anxiety, and having anxiety and get depressed. They r really close.
I´m currently in medschool and one of our professors said during a lecture that "there is no such thing as having an anxiety disorder, when I was young we understood that those people were just shy". It made me so mad to hear her say that, she of all people should have tried to understand it :( Fortunately we had another lecture about it and that professor explained it well and took it seriously, like everyone should!
Rachel, I'm shocked (in a good way) to hear that you struggled with anxiety too. As someone who suffers from really *really* bad panic attacks, one of my main methods of coping is to distract myself. And your videos have helped me time and time again. I want to go on adventures and explore the world (Japan for one place and particular!) but I'm afraid my anxiety will get the best of me, that I'll be alone in a strange place, or that it will be a terrible experience. But seeing how far you've come gives me hope!
Emily Jensen Same, my friends always wonder why I have to multitask even when I'm just "relaxing". I have to keep my mind busy or else the anxiety takes over :(
^ this. I always need to keep my mind busy, any type of relaxation is useless for me because I can't relax with my mind empty, the anxiety is immidiately going crazy. I feel the best when I have loads of work mixed with meeting friends, because my brain is active all the time and I'm so tired in the evening that I fall asleep normally without panicking about the next day :)
I distract myself as well, but in two stages. If I know I am going to face a high anxiety situation I meditate to empty my mind of expectation, both positive and negative. I believe its a type of Zen meditation although I don't recall where I learned it. With it I can try to experience the situation with some emotional distance. It works to an extent, but the length of time I can do it is dependent on my mood, and what it is I will be facing.
Eventually that self control runs out- it's inevitable- and I start to get anxious. When that happens I distract myself with something external. Focusing on something and studying it or... try to imagine something complex and see it in all it's parts... or if I am with someone who understands my anxiety I tell them a story about something. Between the two I can manage most things, although it's still a struggle.
I find it so frustrating to be ruled by fear. I'd just like to be able to have one day where I just do whatever and not have to think about how to cope.
I echo this comment, I struggle with severe panic attacks as well but my dream is to travel the world. I get afraid I won't be able to handle it too. I've been through so much and I have to say, I know recovery and the peace Rachel talks about is achievable. The anxiety might not ever fully go away, but we can find ways to help ourselves in those moments and someday, it'll take nothing to calm ourselves down.
Chai thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story, Rachel. I remember my daughter cried the first 3 months at kidergarten. Now she is 18years old, and in the middle of coping with kind of anxiety disorders.
As someone with Anxiety, I also cried a lot on my first day of kindergarten. I wonder if that's a sign of Anxiety.
I think sometimes it's anxiety and sometimes it's because the kids are just not used to being around other kids. I have younger siblings and while kidergarten was a nightmare to me, they are roughly the same age so being around other kids at home and being around other kinds in kidergarten didn't seem to affect them that much (though they did cry on their 1st day but when TV shows the kids on their 1st day every year, it's a riot in there, you'd think the kids were going to be eaten or something)
tomoko tomoko i dont know how i was as a kid but now im 18 and have problems with interacting with stange people. I alwas need something luke an escape way. But even im alone with the teacher for a casualy presentation i start shaking, crying and have no idea what to say although i was positive and excited about it...
If you want to get rid of your social anxiety fast then visit this website here: HootSpeak.xyz
Social anxiety sucks so much, I've had this stupid disorder my whole life and no one understands it. The worst part is that people tease you for being shy 24/7 and they don't realize they're making you feel worse.
Hi Rachel,
Thank you so much for sharing your story of anxiety with us. It takes a lot of bravery for anyone but especially someone who struggles with generalized and social anxiety to be so transparent and share. I'm sure you sharing this will help others.
Since I am in the mental health field, I wanted to answer some of the questions you mentioned in the video.
First of all, anyone who is able to prescribe you medication is probably a Medical doctor or a psychiatrist. Psychologists and other mental health professionals do not prescribe medication.
Another thing is that the word "therapist" is not really a legally protected term so most mental health professionals can use that term to advertise to their clients because that term is more widely used among people outside of the field to describe someone who is qualified to give therapy. A psychologist can and does see clients individually but many of them will be more focused on conducting research and or supervising. Licensed mental health counselors or LMHCs will also call themselves therapists for the sake of advertising as they are licensed to practice, give diagnosis, and provide therapy. Before they become licensed they are called registered mental health counseling interns (which is what I am atm) and they can also do all of the things I mentioned as long as they have a qualified supervisor.
Thank you so much for the detailed response! I knew every term meant something different but I wasn't quite sure what they all are. This clears things up. :)
For those who may be curious, I would like to comment on a couple of things that Rachel mentioned in the video in regards to her methodology in improving her symptoms of anxiety. If you see my comment above you will know that I am in the mental health field. I actually worked for 2 years providing therapy to children and adolescents with all sorts of anxiety disorders. I also wrote my masters thesis on a patient w/ Generalized anxiety disorder. I have experience but of course I am still new to the field and don't know everything yet, so please fact check everything yourselves.
Rachel is astounding in that she reached a point to where she felt like there was no one that could help her and yet was able to seek support from her own self which is amazing. What a brave and resilient person she is!
She mentioned that she created goals for herself related to her anxiety that she would work on every year. She didn't specifically mention it but I assume that the first goals were less anxiety provoking than the ones that came after.
She basically created what we would call a "fear hierarchy" where she placed things that provoked her anxiety in order from least anxiety provoking to most. Then, she created goals for herself as she went up the hierarchy using systematic desensitization (basically exposing herself to these situations purposefully in order to "get used to them" and reduce the amount of anxiety she felt towards them over time). This is exactly something that a therapist would do with their client in session (if they are using behavioral or cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety).
What she also mentioned about her family having a history of anxiety and depression makes a lot of sense. There is a lot of research to back up the idea that anxiety is linked to genetics.
Just to give a bit of background on anxiety in general.
Anxiety is something that is necessary to our survival. If we didn't have it we probably wouldn't move if we saw a truck driving towards us or pay our bills on time. It is the the human body's alarm system that triggers the fight or flight response and lets us know when something is dangerous or when we need to respond to a situation. we tend to learn what is dangerous based on learning and understanding consequences but also from instinct.
Some people who have excessive levels of anxiety or anxiety disorders have an "overly sensitive alarm system." For whatever reason they tend to have "false alarms" towards situations that may be uncomfortable but not necessarily dangerous. For example, some of us may feel nervous right before a performance or before giving a speech. Usually that feeling is just enough for us to keep us on our toes so we can do our best.
If those nerves or that anxiety is too excessive that can lead us to avoid it completely. Whenever we avoid an anxiety provoking situation, we never allow our bodies to regulate themselves and let the anxiety decrease naturally. Instead we make the association that avoiding it completely will bring our anxiety down (which it will in the short term but not in the long term) rather than facing it and allowing the experience to become "evidence" that the situation isn't really as scary as we thought. By facing it, you can kind of think that you are re-calibrating your alarm system so that it is not as sensitive to a similar situation.
Rachel, please feel free to correct me if anything I said doesn't reflect your experience well. Also, I would be happy to answer anymore questions you might have to the extent of my knowledge :)
This was all really interesting to read! As for the fear hierarchy, I'm not sure I did that with my anxiety because before I started focusing on anxiety for my New Year's resolutions I was working on other things that were even more destructive, particularly my negative and angry mindset, which was the largest non-environmental factor of my teenage depression. Once I got to anxiety nearly everything was terrifying, but I just kind of threw myself at every opportunity I could find to face it. But it sounds like a fear hierarchy might have been more helpful lol, and it's interesting to hear that that exists.
It's also interesting to hear about anxiety as an alarm system! I definitely have overactive "alarms".
For family stuff, my grandma still talks about my great-grandmother and how she would make my grandma call her every day at the same exact time, even up through old age, and if my grandma missed the call my great-grandmother would start calling hospitals and the police because she assumed my grandma had died. She also threw a fit when my grandma got the chance to go to Hawaii and nearly prevented her from going since she was terrified my grandma was going to die on the trip. My great-grandmother definitely seems like she may have been the worst of all of us with anxiety. Fortunately my grandma and mom aren't nearly that bad, although they do still have a strict phone calling process when the weather is bad or someone's out driving longer than usual. Family stuff. Fun times.
A very detailed read! I too struggle with anxiety so it's almost astonishing to see how similar Rachel and I are, and I'm proud of how far she has come as well as myself. It takes a lot to move forward.
I find physiology really fascinating as well, so this was a lot of fun to read!
Everyone always had told me that. "Put yourself out there" but what if you are literally to scare to even do that first step. Just thinking about putting myself out there, I start to freak out! I'm so happy you were able to find happiness and overcome everything! I love your videos!
There's something I noticed when I kept throwing myself into terrifying situations. You don't need to have a lot of willpower to go through with the entire thing--you just need a tiny spike of courage to change your course. Once you're on the right course it's easier to follow through with what you're supposed to do. You just have to get on that path. Think of what it's like to rip off a band aid or jump in a pool. Once you start going through with it you can't stop. Once you're on that path--mid-rip or mid-jump--the hard part is over. You just have to have enough willpower to make that first move.
If you're afraid to talk to someone, that moment of change is making eye contact with them. Once you make eye contact you've already started your dialogue. You can't go back. The words will come, even though they may be stuttery or mixed up. You might bumble through it, but the important part is you're already doing what you were afraid of, and that was your goal.
If you're afraid to go to an event, a party, a meetup, anything--that moment could be getting in your car. You still have to drive there and go inside, but the thing is humans don't like change. Once you're already on a set path it takes more effort to change your course. So you just need that initial spike of courage to get on the right path. Make eye contact. Walk out your front door. Press send on the email. Press dial on the phone. If you can rip off a band aid or jump in a cold pool for the first time in spring, you're already strong enough to go through with anything.
I've totally used the method of trying to convince myself that I'm excited rather than anxious, especially in regards to exams! I would also try to convince myself that my heart was racing because of coffee rather than anxiety..
JUN ~ Please give your wife a hug. A big, long hug.
Hugs from Singapore!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for this video
As someone with generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety, I really appreciate your video! Thank you! Cats are GREAT for anxiety. :)
It's horrible to have my anxiety disorders and diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Someone described it with "having depression and anxiety is like being scared and sad at the same time. It's the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends, but afraid of socializing. It's wanting to be alone, but not lonely. It's caring about everything, then caring about nothing. It's feeling everything at once and then feeling paralyzingly numb."
I know it's just a quote, but I feel like it explains how I feel.
THANK YOU so much for your video.
Libby Holcomb I love that quote, do you happen to know who wrote it? because this is the exact same way I feel but had no idea how to describe it to someone
Libby Holcomb I've always felt like I have social anxiety disorder and the quote that you commented basically explains what I feel like 24/7.
( ps. You're right, cats are a great distraction for me too!)
I think so too. I feel like I was much comfortable with my environment with my cat around, he always stuck to me everywhere I went, it was sort of theraputic until my parents gave him away, I really tried explaining why I nEEDed him, honestly years later I'm still not as comfortable as I could've been with him around.
Rachel, you are a very articulate woman that really brings us what you're feeling. My wife was sitting here nodding all the way through your video as she suffers through the same as you. I very much appreciate your statement on 'Never too late' as we're getting up there in years and, although she's much better than she used to be, Ann still has some issues over what she calls triggers. Like you, she has set goals for herself and has done so for years, but some things just hit just wrong and have the usual bad timing. People like you give her hope and give me help to know what I can do for her when she needs it. I'm rambling, so I hope this post makes sense.
Suffice to say, you are an extraordinary person and thank you for making this video about such a personal subject.
Mental illness runs in my family too! I never want to have kids for that reason.
MountainRain well, you shouldn’t wish depression on anyone. And besides, there are too many people on this earth already anyway.
Me too. Specifically social anxiety and depression. I'm better than I was, but it remains an issue and probably always will. The worst struggles are with ourselves.
I believe your anxiety is actually a blessing in disguise, imagine how different it would be if you never put yourself out there and joined the AF. Dare I say you wouldn't have went to Japan, met Jun, or created this channel that has helped thousands of people (and still is, including me). You might think you're not normal, but having anxiety makes you strive to always improve yourself and become better, something a normal person with no struggles will neglect to do. I applaud you for being courageous, you're actually my role model and someone I aspire to be like. Thanks for the video.
This is just advice for anyone still reading... dealing with anxiety and depression has taught me three things; that anxious/sad feelings will go away in time and I'll eventually get over it, that friends come and go and the only friend that will be here to depend on is myself, and that strangers won't care or lose sleep if I do something embarrassingly stupid since they're not in my life and I probably will never see them again.
I was thinking the same thing!
I had super bad social anxiety as a teenager too but my family didn't really believe in therapy/psychology etc.
I've been improving my social skills by putting myself in places of responsibility, thinking what would ___ say in this situation? and failing at socializing with people. (you learn through failures) I think one of my best realizations is that most other college students don't have amazing social skills either, are generally friendly/looking for friends, and aren't that judgemental.
I am actually crying. Caude I'm touched. Cz, I never understand what situation is going on around me, just thought I am weird, can't talk to people, just wait them to say hi to me first. But then when we start the communication... I act weirdly, talk weird stuff, even imagine what expression I had right now when I do this stuff. Cause I don't wanna act silly around. That's what I actually suffer since child, maybe. And I don't know other people would had another, like, "similar" experience.
And thank you just to made my thought stop overthinking that the way I life myself just whole ruined, because I'm so different. I've realized that I'm not the only one. And then you showed how you overcome it... that's brilliant!
thank you soooo so much!
Girl your child/ teenage years sound like mine. I always wondered why a friend or teacher didn't step in cause they had to have seen how miserable I was, but honestly people are so busy and focused on their own issues that they usually don't see what others are going through.
I have major anxiety problems, thank you very much for making this video
my anxiety affects my self confidence too and I tried to do my youtube channel, but depression has kept me tired and exhausted on top of having a job and school as well so I can't bring me to do it for results I believe are mediocre. I hope I can soon work on it better :(
and thanks for addressing this. It's not talked about a lot.
And I understand a lot your feelings. Depression brought me to check myself into the hospital twice because I couldn't bring myself to try suicide but I did not know what to do else.
Now I'm better, but it's hard on a low level everyday (dysthymia).
I'm glad you are still with us. I keep fighting everyday, I'm glad you do too.
Divinecross it's ok that is why I stopped doing my youtube channel. so I get it.
I remember watching this in 2017 and dealing with alot the same feeling you described here. Its been 4 years since then and I definitely feel ive come a long way since then through experiences over the years. Thanks for this video rachel!!
i know exactly what you mean. I've watched this video for the first time a few years ago and this was the moment I subscribed cause I saw myself in her experience. since then soooo much happened, but I am still very greatful for the video
You know, I'm almost 33 and I feel like if I wouldn't have put myself out there (especially in my 20s) I probably would have ended up being a total hermit. I still have moments where my anxiety overwhelms me (I still have to sit in my car for 5 minutes before I walk into a grocery store alone, for real), but my interactions with people is 100% better. I just made myself do things. 😅 Hell yeah, it hurt, and I think it will always be this way, but I don't want to vanish into a hole of Robert Jordan books and my own imagination and block out the real world, again. Which is extremely easy to do if you're an introvert and you have an anxiety disorder. Thank you for sharing your story. I know it's hard to talk about stuff like this, but I totally know how it feels! I'm really glad 32 year old me is no longer 18 year old me. Phew...18 year old me was an even bigger mess. My word. 😂
Thanks, Rachel!
I'm an actual hikikomori, I spend 95% of my time at home, 90% in my own room. I had depression and social anxiety for 20 years and have basically given up on social life. I've also given up interacting with my friends last year because even hanging out with them gave me depression and anxiety.
I am trying to do youtube as that's the only way I know I can earn money without much social interaction, interacting with people on the internet is fine. I wanted to use my actual channel to make this comment but ultimately chose not to.
A lot of people on TH-cam are like that! It's easier to do things through the internet than in real life. :)
I think TH-cam itself helped me out in a different way, because of a lot of the positive feedback from people and meeting them in real life when they're excited to see us, it gives me more confidence to go out and be myself. :) I don't know where you're at on TH-cam, but if you're at a point where you can meet people who like watching you, or people making the same types of videos as you, I think that's a super great way to make friends and have positive "real" social interaction! A significant number of my real life friends right now are people I met through TH-cam.
Yes, Thank God for TH-cam.
KS Ng i know this is old but i’ve learned that in life, you HAVE to socialize. i’ve been thinking and starting to try things to help my social anxiety but it is still terrible. but if you keep a mindset like me that you can’t go your whole life without talking to people, yet my personality is being an introvert and having the best time alone. but you need motivation
thank you for this video... I deal with anxiety and panic attack too. A great method I learned recently to deal with panic attack in public is to count out of order: your mind can't freak out if it's occupied with counting out of order (1, 3, 7,9,6 for ex)
My 15.5yr old daughter has suffered from mild depression and high anxiety since she was about 12 - 13yrs old. For her, just choosing what drink to get would send her into a major panic attack as she would worry that everyone else would hate her choice of drink and therefore hate her.
She's seen a councilor, who, in both our opinions - didn't give two shits about her and only offered generic "help" - which my daughter had already tried, and never worked for her.
Her go to calming down thing is blocking out the world and listening to music. She also has an all natural calming tablet - made of plant extracts - to help in major situations.
And since I never went through anxiety or depression, this is a learning curve for both of us. So yeah, I don't know what she's going through, but I try to understand and be there for her as much as I can.
Though, I noticed that when she was really little, that if our plans changed when we were out, she'd have a meltdown and throw a tantrum over it. I learnt early on to tell her a few days in advance what we were doing on X day and if there were any changes to that, to also tell her.
She copes much better with change now, but I'm still in the habit of telling her things in advance. Her anxiety revolves around school and she'll have the occasional panic attack up the street, but she's learning to cope in her own way.
That happens to me too, the anxiety over changing plans... I like to know where I'm going when the family is out rambling around town, and if plans change suddenly I freak out wondering what we're going to do if not what we had planned... Anxiety is very exhausting... and music helps a lot.
No idea if you're going to read this 4 years after your comment. But just reflecting of off my own situation, maybe your daughter has autism. I just found out myself (at age 26) that I have autism, and that girls/women can often be misdiagnosed with personality disorders (e.g. despression, anxiety, borderline, etc.) when they actually might have autism. This is because girls/women usually mask their autism and show somewhat different behaviours than boys/men with autism. Hope it can help :-)
i’m also a teenager with generalized anxiety disorder and i relate to your daughters symptoms completely. at a drive thru my mom can ask me what drink i want, such a simple question, and i would begin to shake and cry thinking my life depends on this decision and that picking the wrong drink coukd affect my entire day, and i also have ocd so superstitious thinking comes into play
thank you for sharing this. I deal with a lot of anxiety and depression myself as well. people are often surprised and how much self reflection I do, but it allows me to work towards overcoming my problems. I also relate to the self improvement thing. I started studying languages to get over my social anxiety. it forced me to speak with people.
this was an amazing video. thank you for doing good.
Language Learning Lounge p
I get anxiety just thinking about anxiety. This video gave me anxiety 😂😂😂
it helped so much at the same time but i feel it lol;;
Got jams? Jimin can't relate Don't diss my cute Chim Chim 😂
Got jams? Jimin can't relate same 😂 its kinda hilariously sad tbh lol. btw ur name is the best!!👌😂
Jimin the love of my life !!!!! My anxiety will not stop me from seeing you at the wings tour!!!
Agree. I could feel the anxiety just watching this video too!
I would have never guessed you have anxiety or depression with how eloquent and bubbly you are on your videos-I guess we can never tell just by the outer appearance of people.
I can definitely relate to many parts of your experience! Even the part where your mom says that she got over it by going into sales-that's how my mom got over it, too!
I was a shy kid up until early grade school, but then I had phases where I was really outgoing and then phases where I reverted back to being a really anxious shy, awkward person.
It's weird because I don't actually mind talking with people I don't know and will never see again, but if it's someone I have to see everyday but not that close with-then I get really anxious for some reason. It's weird. It's like now there's this pressure of developing this social relationship and I can't handle that.
But thank you for sharing~ your Rachel-esque-ness makes me have hope that I will one day break out of this stupid anxiety shell, too.
I very much relate to being amxious about being around those close to you. I know you posted this a while ago but thanks for sharing! Its always nice to know you're not alone :)
That's why I hardly leave the house.
Anxiety/social anxiety sucks (insert meow censor) donkey butt.
To be honest, at times it takes over my life.
This made me really happy. I take meds for my anxiety, it's really scary. I am SOOOO happy my fav TH-camr brought attention to this :)
Thank you so much for posting this, I have sorta THE same thing (obviously a bit different) and recently got treatment. I hope you have a really great day,
-Freya
Thanks for posting this video, recently I've been dealing with a lot of social anxiety and it makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone💕
I'm really impressed about how you're living in Japan despite your anxiety. I don't even have social anxiety but tend to get really stressed in japan to the point I don't want to go out as I stand out as a western looking person. This has given me the confidence to keep trying and go out!
This is the second time I'm watching this and you literally described me to a T. I'm still working on it in my 30's and have hit a few bumps in the road along the way but what you said about it never being too late and accepting that you will still mess up and look like a weirdo is so encouraging!
I remember giving a power point presentation for my technology class in high school on Japan and Japanese culture. Because I already knew so much about Japan and the culture of it I did very well on it. I was praised not only by my teacher but also by all of my class mates. Everyone congratulated me and told me how well I did, how confident and knowledgeable I was. This really surprised me because it was just an ordinary project, no big deal, and nobody really knew or noticed me in school so it was weird to get praised by my classmates. My teacher literally just looked at me in shock when I had finished and said "Wow... really great job!" and all of my classmates looked at me with surprised faces too and agreed with her. The bad side of it all is that *THAT* is when my brain decided to have a panic attack. I was fine, actually great during the presentation, even having fun! But with everyone looking at me with shock on their faces my mind just shut down. It was only after it had all ended that I could enjoy how well I did and that everyone had praised me.
My teacher actually said to me how she didn't expect it at all from me because I am so quit and nervous seeming. She assumed I would be one of the students who would do poorly and be shy because that's how she saw me in class. Shy, quit, lacking confidence. She made sure to say no offence like 10 times while saying this XD But she was just so surprised that a student like me that she perceived as so quit, was actually able to do something like this so well.
I was a very shy and quiet kid too, and that caused some of my teachers and peers to underestimate me. Glad you did well with your presentation.
You are SO brave, Rachel! and helpful to others! Anxiety to excitement-brilliant!
Thank you! I really needed to hear this. Knowing that you live with anxiety but have managed to build a life for yourself doing amazing things like starting a successful TH-cam channel and moving to Japan gives me hope for my future.
Thank you for discussing this Rachel. I have PTSD, Depression, and very bad social anxiety. Tasks like answering messages, texts, etc. is always very difficult for me. I have a very hard time maintaining relationships because of this because most people just do not understand that this is a mental issue that cannot be fixed, only helped. One thing I have learned is that you need to learn to love yourself, and you cannot love someone else mental illnesses or disorders away. One other thing I have learned is that you cannot will someones mental disorders or illnesses away. It's really nice for you to reach out and share your stories and experiences and have others here share theirs. Thank you very much.
I have anxiety and depression too! I get by okay usually and I don't get panic attacks thankfully, but some periods of time are really hard. Thanks for talking about this, I think this is a common problem and we need to make people aware of it.
I started university 4 months ago and I have been struggling immensely with social anxiety. I cannot seem to put myself out there and form bonds with people. It's so difficult and although I am trying this year to take steps forward, it isn't so easy. Day by day, I think.
Sniffles i'm terrified to go to University.
Sniffles I hope you are coping well.
I hope you've graduated successfully now
You always seemed so confident and assure of your self I would have never guessed you were suffering like that
I hope I can get rid of my stutter at least. Sometimes I try to get in to conversation to improve social anxiety and communicate skill and words don't come out. It feels powerless.
"Do it!" - Palpatine
Palpatine aka Darth Sidious
It does not work like that in reality.
What does not work like that in reality?
I also have generalized anxiety disorder. thank you for talking about this. some people think I'll just get over it but they don't understand its an all day all year alarm clock that never turns off.
This sounds weird, but when you smiled and said "you can do it" at the end really inspired me and made me very happy. I watched the entire video. Thank you so much xx
I got diagnosed with depression at 13, anxiety at 17. I am now 22 (23 in June). I still struggle with it to the point where I have a panic attack about just leaving the house. In 2015, I went on exchange to Japan for a semester and my host university was so supportive and I was the first student from my university taking an academic integration plan (so changing stuff like getting extensions on assessments more easier or more time in exam - in other words making uni life much more easier because of your disability) to Japan. I made a small series on TH-cam called 'Anxiety Abroad' and wrote to my uni's newspaper about my experience and people were so supportive. But I totally feel you.
I work in the mental health field and meditation is used a lot in treatment for the clients there. This was really well put together, Rachel! I found myself working in mental health (not at all my career goal) because of my own personal phobias and anxiety. That's also really helped a lot. Surrounded myself with professionals in the field. However, working for clients and being an actual client are two different things. (We're not allowed to call clients "patients" at my work, btw. Which is the reasoning for the strange term, should anyone be questioning it >_>.)
I've been working on my anxiety for years. But there's one thing I cannot de-sensitize myself with. I have claustrophobia and I refuse, flat out FRICKIN' refuse to actually confront that phobia and be put into a small area. I do try baby steps. Sitting facing away from doors, etc. But I cannot get to that last point. I'll probably need proper professional help with that phobia....
But all of what you said is excellent advice! =). Thank you for sharing because a lot of us know how difficult it is to share social anxiety with others.
Also, you mentioned about people thinking they may be too old to start working on their issues and they shouldn't think that way. Also great advice! Most of the clients at my work are 40+ and never addressed their problems and the problems have only magnified to such a degree that they cannot function in normal daily life and need social workers, therapists, medication, etc to deal with life and teach them how to ....live.
No one is ever too old! Please seek help if you need it. Take some deep, calming breaths, write down what you need to say, practice....and make the call. The ones who go into working with people are usually "sufferers" themselves. At least at one point. Most will certainly understand and _want_ to help.
Thank you! My anxiety is associated from PTSD. It's gotten really bad over last 3-4 yrs. Trying to figure out triggers is exhausting. It sucks because I know why the anxiety is happening but I can't help the body reaction.
I'm so so glad you've made a video about this. I can relate to you on every level and it's so encouraging to know there are other people who deal with these same feelings on a regular basis. Sometimes it's debilitating and frustrating, but knowing I'm not alone in this is really comforting.
Thank you so much for opening to us in this way Rachel. I'm going through some rough stuff and to know that you had it hard as well and got through it almost all by yourself is such an inspiration. When I was younger I thought there was nothing to be done with anxiety (I didn't even know what it really mean!), that I was just destined to live that way. Now that I go to therapy and started talking openly about this issues and educating myself about them, I've found resources to deal with it in a healthier and non-destructive way (just like you did!). That realization has definitely made a before and after in my life and I couldn't be more thankful of the support I've had from people around me, but I'm also thankful for people like you Rachel. Opening up and letting us know that this isn't incurable, that there are ways to manage anxiety and that with patience, practice, and time you can be in control of your life, is truly an act of love and concern for us who follow you and Jun along your journey.
So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you so much for this, and to anyone reading this comment.. I know you may not understand or feel like this right now, but I promise you everything will be fine.
Medication was the best thing that ever happened to me haha. I have social anxiety, too, but a lot of my anxiety is environmental/situational. I'm really sensative to auditory and visual stimuli. So like being in crowds is hell for me. I KNOW that I shouldn't be anxious, but my body just reacts that way. It can be super frustrating
I've heard of that before and I do believe I am a HSP. For a long while I've accepted that being anxious is just part of who I am, but that I can learn manage it. It is what it is
you're my absolute role model on here, rachel! i'm proud of you.
Thank you for talking about this, Rachel! I have also been dealing with anxiety my whole life (and with depression somewhat more recently) so I can relate to a lot that you said, and it's just refreshing to see the way you are overcoming it, the progress you've made so far. It's reassuring to see proof that it indeed gets better. And I know how hard it is to go out there and talk about it even if it is "to a camera", because in the end we know it's not just a camera, you're taking a big step and exposing yourself to the world, and that's huge, so thank you for doing so anyway! You're amazing :) hope things keep getting better for you! ♡♡♡
As someone who has struggled with severe depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and ptsd (which has also contributed to my fibromyalgia), just... I really needed this, especially that last part at the end. Thank you for this. ♥ ♥ ♥
You have been on quite an odyssey. It has been a delight to hear how you successfully dealt with your challenges. I would never had known that you had ever experienced general anxiety.
Even beautiful, bubbly, successful people can deal with mental health issues like this. Thanks for sharing your story, Rachel, you are an inspiration.
AAA I'm gonna cry
thank you so much for talking about it Rachel I mean I kinda knew I had something anxiety related but a lot of the things you shared happen to me and knowing that someone I look up to struggles with it too is just 😭 your encouragement hit me hard :') thank you for coming this far Rachel
Hey Rachel. I found your channel waaay back when you only had a handful of videos uploaded. I was feeling my usual intense anxiety about travelling and had made plans to visit Japan for the first time. So of course was trying to research every little thing I could about how to get about in a foreign land to try and ease the anxiety a little, which included watching youtube videos with advice about visiting Japan. How... I guess serendipitous? Or at least how appropriate that I came across your videos at the time. They definitely helped with my anxiety a little, so I really appreciate that you've put yourself out there and stood up to your anxiety like you have, it's definitely helped other people and I can attest to that.
I came across your videos again a couple of years after my trip and I was blown away by how your channel had grown!! I was so happy for you. Not just the number of followers and views you were getting, but just how much more confident and outgoing you seemed in your latest videos, and even more so now! I definitely noticed the differences between the you of your early videos and the you of the last couple of years. The change is immense. It's very impressive and inspiring.
So good luck to you in the future as well. I've been through a lot of what you have as well, and will continue to do. I understand how even though you can feel like you're winning the battle and are getting better ever day, it still often is a daily battle and it's so hard to stay on top of it every day. And in the meantime, I'll keep watching. Thanks!
I know its not always practical but I find having one earphone in listening to music helps me to talk to people in public, it takes me out of the moment and focuses on something else and I find the words come easier. Theres this thing someone bought me the other day called a "fidget cube" and that works in the same way too. I've had social anxiety disorder too most of my teen life and just like you I decided to try and fix it myself and got recruited into the army here in the UK and all was going well until I saw actual field action and got shot at and saw horrific stuff and now I've had to try to become a civilian again and deal with PTSD but im getting better day by day and you and Juns videos seem to help so thanks, I'll give the meditation more of chance in future.
It's nice to know that I'm not alone :').
Anxiety really sucks and unfortunately not anyone can understand...
Rachel, thank you so much for sharing such a story with us! I guess it takes a lot of courage imagining over 10k people watching you! I'm so glad you learned so much and have an easier life than you did before!
I really appreciate you making this video and being so open and sincere about it. I can identify with sooo much of it, as someone with GA and depression (p bad even in adulthood) i know it's a really brave thing to do honestly. the stuff you said about self-improvement in the face of feeling like other people who should help aren't really touched a note with me. You're awesome, Rachel!
Rachel, you're a sweetheart; this video was helpful to me. Thank you =)
(Also I enjoy any stories or experiences you share about your time in the military)
*I'm so proud of how far you've gotten on your own* and I'm so sorry you had to journey through such dark places alone.
I'm sure you've given a lot of us fellow anxiety derps the courage to tackle the issue straight on. I think the most important thing for us to remember is that while we are working towards being more functional, it's okay if we never reach "normal." Normal is an unattainable goal we set for ourselves because *we assume everyone else knows what they're doing.*
The secret: They don't.
*Embrace your inner derp.*
Thank you, Rachel, for talking about anxiety and sharing your personal experience with us. This video really cheered me up!
rachel, you are my hero! you‘re so strong and didn‘t let life get you down... the thing you said about no one helping feels really relatable, i want to take my life into my own hands too and live for just me cause i like myself and deserve to be happy and alive! i hope i can be strong too and work at improving myself and accomplish things i can be proud of
"Do it!" I like how your leadership skills come out at the end.
Thank you so much for talking about this. It's brave and I admire the courage.
Thank you so much for making this, Rachel. This meant a lot to me as a fellow sufferer of anxiety, and I too have gotten so so much better through similar techniques. Thanks for opening up about this, because you're helping so many people by sharing your experience and tips!! I wish you continued luck and support on your journey
Thanks so much for talking about this. It's so important for people to talk about mental health and how to safely deal with issues that come up. Glad to hear you've made improvements in your life, here's to many more!
Thank you for this.
You guys have so many interesting life stories. Also really cool to hear more people talking about meditation cos its really awesome
Rachel, I have tremendous respect for you. Having problems and actually doing something about them is so hard and scary. I think it's amazing how far you have come. This video really inspired me and I sat through it even though it was really long :D Thank you for making this video and good luck!
..oh god... it feels so good to know that there is people out there that struggle with anxiety like you and your not the only one
I am soooo glad that I watched this video and you have no idea how much it will helps ...
thank you soo much Racgel :3 !!!!
i get something to do, like drawing,,which is something that helps my thoughts slow down & then my heart beat,,if im in a store ,i go to a bathroom stall. never tried changing the worry to excitement, i may try that.and having the meds really does help,hard to get over the annoying "all you need is ,meditation,nature..NOT meds..& so on". posts/comments yes that can help if you can do it ,get out in nature & exercise,or meditate but there are times when its just not possible. and meds can really help it to not get so overwhelming, and yes please dont wait till your 40s!!im there and its hard to break some patterns thats been in play for 40 years. thank you i have friends that need to hear this hopefully they'll listen!
This is incredibly inspirational. I really have no words other than thank you (and hugs!)
Rachel--- this was awesome. I just started going to therapy for my depression and anxiety coupled with my OCD. I hate that you have gone through life feeling this way, but I love hearing how much you have overcome. You keep fighting, I'll keep fighting... let's all keep fighting. Hope you, Jun and the kitties are doing well!
Thank you so much for sharing. I also deal with anxiety. I felt like I could feel every emotion you were going through in this video and just wanted to give you the biggest hug in the world. Sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves and think we are not good enough. I find videos like these really help, when you know you are not the only person in the world that feels this way.
Wow this is totally relatable
I'm really sorry to here that, I didn't expect that of you. You seem really happy in your videos, but I know too from experience that the behaviour in front of people and especially your viewers can be totally different from what you really feel.
Rachel, you're not the only one! Some things you said really spoke to me as I know exactly what you mean.
I hope you feel better now and I hope you have faith in yourself! :)
Love from Germany ♥
I watched this whole video and now I admire you even more than I did before. I think it's amazing how you could point out what wasn't right and think of ways to improve yourself without relying on anyone else and push yourself into very unconfortable situtions over and over again. You are a very brave person and you certainly have a strong will power and thank you so much for having shared this VERY personal video with us and giving us a bit more of insight into your life.
So happy you shared this with us. I struggle with a lot of the same and i'm sure it's hard speaking about your issues. really appreciated it.
thank you for the effort you put into this video, really appreciate this.
Thank you for sharing your story! Be proud of what you've accomplished :D
Thank you for making a dedicated post about this. i have major anxiety and panic attacks as well. just this year it all started happening and i've felt pretty alienated about it. i watch a lot of your videos so it actually makes me feel better knowing that you addressed anxiety.thank you for the tips and encouraging words in your video.Thank you
YOU ARE AWESOME. I'm not gonna pretend like I'm a super fan, since I only watch you guys' videos every once in a while, but you an Jun truly seem to be exceptional people. Jun is very lucky to have you, but so are you to have such a kind man. I hope you realize that this video will definitely help quite a few people feel better about themselves, since for some reason it's quite comforting to see someone who is or has been through a situation we can relate.
All the Best
So much same Rachel. I'm glad I'm not alone💜
Great video Rachel :) it really helped me as well. I also deal with anxiety as well and I've been very afraid to ask someone for help. Your advice saved my day :) thank you so much.
Thank you so much for this video, Rachel. As someone who has been watching your channel since you started, it gives me a lot of hope to see how much you've grown and learned to manage your anxiety better (especially being a TH-camr and having so many people watch your videos). I just finished college, and surprisingly it gave me even worse anxiety than I had before because of the amount of stress I was under. Not only that, but I had some run-ins with really negative people that just made me question my self-worth and made my social anxiety more apparent for the past couple of years. Of course, no one else can decide how you react to others, so now I'm trying really hard to not let those "outside" forces affect me so much and be more goal-oriented towards self-improvement.
You're right when you say one of the best ways to overcome anxiety is to face your fears head on. I went backpacking in Japan by myself two years ago, and it was the best decision I've ever made. I was TERRIFIED of being in a foreign country alone, but it was the first time I realized my self-worth. I hope I can gather my strength and start applying for jobs in Japan, and be back in that mindset when I was out there by myself. For all of those people who are afraid to take risks, it's worth it when you realize that even if you're in a bad situation, you're going to come out a LOT more knowledgeable and stronger. Look at it as a way of gaining experience. The more experiences you have, the more you will improve at dealing with them.
Rachel, you're awesome. You and anyone struggling to deal with GAD, doing his/hes best to overcome and manage this disorder are brave, strong individuals with real grit. This is a hard row to hoe and persevering like you have, and others, too, is amazing and inspiring.
I would like to add a few "helps" to the tool box - I have a horrible habit of freaking myself out for no good reason by fixating on situations that are not actually happening or are incredibly unlikely to happen. I get worked up by these "imaginings" (like I said, they are in my head scenarios, not ones actually taking place) to the point where I can't sleep, become fearful of noises in the house, etc. What I have learned to do, and I know this is, as you said, easier said than done, is to "post a sentry" in my head to notice when I start thinking like this. This little sentry's job is to observe my thinking and call me LOUDLY on the negative, anxiety-ridden, OMG thinking that will emotionally hijack me. My sentry says - "Hey! Why are you thinking about that!? How, exactly, is this line of thinking doing anything positive for you?!, How is thinking about X a good thing/productive thing?!" Not only does this internal voice snap me out of sort of circular thinking, it also engages my logic brain and helps me to see the irrationality of the thinking and redirects me into a calmer, more logical flow of thought. It took a while to get in the habit of "posting and listening to" this internal sentry, but I use it when I need it and it helps me quite a lot.
Another thing a therapist taught me was to have a list of logical things to remind myself of when I would end up in that place of irrational fear. These things are true and counter to the fear. For example, if I am afraid of someone breaking in and hurting me at night I can counteract that fear by logically listing the reasonable and good things that make this an unlikely situation such as - I am not home alone - my family is here, my dog, etc. I have a phone that I can call for help on, my house is solid and well lit at the doorways outside, I locked the doors before going to bed, I am surrounded by neighbors who care about me and would help me if I called out for them, I live in a safe neighborhood, etc. I realize this seems almost too easy, but just like the sentry it pulls me out of the scary, circular thinking and sets me on a path of logical thinking that reinforces the truth of my situation and not the twisted irrational fear that my anxiety is trying to hijack me with. Making this list tangible/physical in some way also makes going through it a bit like a mantra. This therapist helped to make a "truth" box that was filled with pieces of paper with the necessary truths to combat the anxiety written on them. Opening the box and reading each truth out loud or softly to yourself can act as that mantra to redirect thinking to a calm, logical place and away from the fear.
Those are just what I have used to help me - if they are useful to others they are free for the taking! :) Thank you for being so brave and willing to tell your story=y - it means a lot to so many people, as I'm sure you know from all the comments. Have a fantastic day! :D
#REALTALK
I've had terrible anxiety and depression lately, but like you I've had it for my whole life and just thought everyone had it too. I can't call people who I haven't spoken to before without deliberating for like 30mins. I just moved to a new city...and when I'm in public I basically speedwalk everywhere since I don't know anyone, and the city seems pretty unwelcoming...and not having any friends or interests that get me out makes it worse. I don't really get panic attacks per say but I get heart palpitations and feel like throwing up and passing out sometimes...but I don't get all manic and freak out.
I want to save the last minute of this Video as an audio clip to play whenever I need motivation.
I constantly plan out conversations and all the different ways to reply to keep myself from panicking because otherwise I'll go back to how I was in highschool when I would lock myself in bathrooms because I couldn't go to class and I couldn't go to the counselor because I was just so panicked about talking to others and that someone would see me panicking which is just a horribly vicious cycle.
Thanks so much for this video and sharing your story. It helps hearing others talk about this, knowing that I'm not alone and strange. It gives me the courage to finish something that I have been putting off til now.
I admire you even more rachel. Dealing with severe social anxiety and depression right now in my life. Its nice to have found you guys and your cats. Thank you for uploading and making my life that much better
Thank you so much, Rachel. I'm going through similar issues and this helped me a lot..
i deal with depression, panic disorder, OCD and depersonalization disorder
:( it is always tough, but will be worth it
to anyone who is struggling in any aspect of life, do your best and don't give up!
Hsien Hui Chua that's a lot to deal with! you too, keep giving your best
Pamu Connie Narváez thanks!
Thanks Rachel! This was super inspirational! I deal with social anxiety everyday and depression has been on and off. It has really gotten in the way of getting my career moving forward. Majority of the things you've mentioned in this video...the heart palpitations, stuttering, thinking back on embarrassing moments, etc. I can relate to. It helps me a lot hearing your story and how you dealt with it. Hoping I can push through this issue and get more comfortable talking to strangers.
Thank you so much for putting yourself out there. Your description of panic attacks & how your brain runs away feels identical to my own experiences. It's so important for people with anxiety disorders to be open so that others don't feel alone.
Well said and I totally respect your bravery.