Everything Wrong With Madame Web in 22 Minutes or Less
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
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We were researching sins in the Amazon and found this. Madame Web is terrible. Here are the sins.
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"With responsibility, great power will come." The writers must have been incredibly proud of themselves for thinking of the laziest line ever.
I mean, there’s lazy and then there’s going out of your way to Yoda a line that didn’t need to be Yodaed lazy.
this is on the high school level of low effort for putting the quote in your own words
"A boat will need a bigger us." - Some future Jaws movie probably.
@@CinemaSins or "Home Phone" in the future ET remake.
That's not how this works... Uncle Ben
I’m more invested in the sin counter falling slowly towards the bottom of the screen than the actual ending climax of this movie
It caught me off guard and then I nearly popped a rib laughing 😂.
@@thefriesofLockeLamora Same
So were we.
Didn't even notice it at first either
I watched it fall because I wasn’t interested in what was happening on the screen 😂
There needed to be 100 sins for Ben apparently jumping into the river from the bridge, freeing Cassie from the car underwater, and dragging her back to shore offscreen. Because that 100% did not happen.
We are not opposed to you adding sins to your head canon. We just ask that you please register any additional sinning with your local Bureau of Sins to avoid possible confusion.
@@CinemaSins you monster. you’ll cause sinflation.
@@CinemaSinsencouraging bureaucratic red tape [ding!]
@@astrayingmay Sinflation?! LOL!!! Good one!!
These replies are crazy😂
Okay, the sin counter falling asleep was pretty funny
Definitely the best joke of this video.
Meh...
Not even Miguel O'hara and The Spider Society acknowledge this movie's existence at all.
It's not a canon event.
He knew it be a dead universe soon anyway lol😂 Oh what could've been but never was.
Not even 90's Animated Madame Web and Beyonder acknowledge this movie's existence.
I hope Loki sees this universe and says, "OK, this universe can be pruned."
@@virgilhawkins5680 Luz Lane from the Citadel of Lois Lanes would refuse to allow this to be canon.
Even Jimmy Two Canons would not accept this as a canon event.
Sin #1, this movie exists
Exactly
Just too much ugh in this one
And good thing I wasn't interested in watching the movie.
Beat me to it. 😂
Comment of the year! 🏆
Only surprised there was no sin for a computer in 2003 with 9 flatscreen monitors. I was there in 2003, the monitors were thiccc.
Ha, good point, however the first flat screen monitors started to become more popular in 2000/2001…just a bit pricey. I had one in my dorm in 2001.
They've existed much longer than that.... first time seeing one was 1995.
I know flat screen plasma TV's were around in 2001/2002. $8000!
and on DSL
13:50 "I've never said this before in my entire life, but you're a good teacher." What is this dialog?! Who talks like this??!
it's supposed to mean that she sucks in school.
We know what it’s supposed to mean. The dialogue and delivery is just so unnatural
The same one who says: "its a good thing you had no idea today was the day you were going to die"
You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the man who was in the Amazon with my mom, when she was researching spiders right before she died.
Surprised this wasn't just the entire movie uploaded to TH-cam
They want to be better than this movie and not be lazy.
*"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!"* - Madame Webb said calmly
*”THE BABY GETS BITTEN BY A BUG!”*
BULMA AND VEGETA HAVE A KID!
I CAN SEE THE FUUUTUUUUUURE
*PETER GETS MARRIED, BUT DOESNT CAUSE HE CANT EVER BE HAPPY”
“WHERE IS MY SPYDER? THEY TOOK MY SPYDER!”
I'm more surprised that Spider Tribe sent Cassandra Webb back to USA than keep her and raise her as one of their own in the Amazonian forests.
Now that would have been a good movie to see
I spent the whole movie asking my kids how she got back from the Amazon with her mom's effects in the first place. I couldn't get past it.
@@donutpredator4945 No joke! The movie of how she got back to America would have been better than the everything in this movie for sure.
@GlenNewsome Right! How did a hidden tribe of spider people alert the American embassy there was a baby who needed to be taken back to the States?! 😅
Yeah, no primitive tribe that happens on a lone, stricken white devil/woman is saving her. Saving her for themselves maybe! ☠
With the original Madame Web character, she was much more interesting since she is an interdimensionsal traveler. She was inspired by Joan Lee, the wife of Stan Lee. Joan even voiced her in the 90s cartoon by Saban.
The fact that this character was inspired by Stan Lee's wife, but this movie sucked, is a disservice.
That Madame Web had a mystique about her because of being an interdimensional traveler. These watered down ones in these movies I honestly feel like is for common folk (aka dumb).
You missed Ezekiel's assistant saying "I didn't know we were going after teenagers". Like, she was ok with killing 3 people based on a random dream her boss had, but them not being adults is where it crosses the line?!
🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️Sins for your manic fit nervous breakdown
You put more thought process than the writers did into the script.
He also missed the part where she finds the teenagers by using technology to do a facial recognition trace based on the shapes of their masks. The masks they wore in a dream her boss had about the future.
He honestly missed most of the most insane parts of the movie somehow. Like, he mentioned them dancing on the table, but made no mention that the point of that scene is for Sydney Sweeney's character to overcome her shyness by dancing for some random boys WHILE ACTIVELY ON THE RUN FROM A MURDERER.
That's where I stopped at, was at the dream, I'm like "this is what he scared of?!" I was done 😭🤣💀
@@maryannclementiii-uw5pk He missed the part where that was his problem
The sin counter slowly sliding down the side of the screen was pretty funny.
😂😂😂
Do they ever say what Ezekiel did with the spider and what he's been doing for 30 years?
No. They also don't mention what curse he is under which makes no sense to me.
And how he barely aged a day? Is not aging just a thing for mutants?
That’s what I was wondering too. So sure, you’re supposedly powerful and immortal (until the visions with the girls) now…and what’s your grand end plan to go to all this work for?”
- just become an aristocrat/2003 billionaire and bang chicks from the NSA, for reasons, just ‘cause I can.
the spider is at his house. it's in the opening scene
"My mom was at the Amazonian to research spiders before she died." - Madame Webb
My future son will grow up on Earth and be the long-awaited chosen one of all Kryptonians after we find out our planet is going to explode.
-- Krypton, probably
"I know kung fu"
Where has she been since she died?!🤔😹😂
@@patrickdoyle6201 Patagonia.
@@protorhinocerator142 🤪😹💀☠️
Literally could’ve just started the video with “everything” and an ♾️ sins…. And gave us 45 seconds of cats playing with string.
🧶🐈
No fair making a cinema sins against this video.
I would've been happy with that video.
Schroedinger’s movie: I know this movie exists because I saw it in theaters, and because I just watched this video, but also, if you told me this movie was just a hallucination we all had, I would potentially believe you.
Why only spiderman has his own multiverse...why we don't hear capverse,ironverse,hulkverse,thorverse???
The "meh" after the later sins...😂😂😂
LOL I was listening without watching for a bit. Turned back to see the sin counter apparently fell to pieces at “mehhhh” 😅 freakin comedy gold.
I bet you just made that up lol
@@JoeySkellington17 I’m too boring to have thought of it randomly 😆
Not enough sinning on how Dakota Johnson doesn't know how to open a Pepsi can.
They only had the one can so no opening it from scene to scene 😂
Honest trailer
@@alexisyanez8666 Didn't see it but, if they mentioned it in that, big props.
A superhero movie that has very little superheroing, 100 sins.
Fun Fact : You never saw the movie ! You are watching it here for the 1st time ! 😂😂
It's been like that for a while on this channel for me
Saaame!😁
For most of them yeah but I saw this one with my wife unfortunately. Been dying for this sims video to come out
You aren’t watching the movie. you’re watching a brief satirical recap of it, most of the time without the movie audio
Dakota Johnson delivers all her lines like she just took a couple of Benadryl and is on the verge of falling into a deep sleep and until then she is struggling to remain alert and coherent.
Is it just me or does she look and act exactly the same in every movie she's in?
Ezekiel's vocal audio in the movie was so scuffed that he was (poorly) dubbed over in the final cut, and it is VERY distracting.
I think this is the most excited I've ever been for a CinemaSins vid.
Sins, as always for vanilla sex
lol
Ikr, I DIED waiting for this all through spring
Surprised this is 22 min long. Seems like it would be way longer.
It should technically be longer than the actual film.
That was probably all they could manage before falling asleep from boredom.
Making this video was probably super easy, barely an inconvenience
Making videos is tight!
I would appreciate it if you would get alllll the way off my back about it.
Wowwowwowwow.....wow!
So did you literally just watch someone else's video, copy all the mistakes they found, paste it all together haphazardly, and expect us to like and subscribe to boost your views?
Hey shut up so check out that drooping sin counter!
THAT'S THE THING FROM THE OTHER VIDEOS BUT IT'S DROOPING
It is the thing from the uh huh that.
The inconvenience of having to watch it…
This movie’s greatest sin was having Mike Epps and Adam Scott and not giving us the Friday/Step Brothers crossover nobody asked for
Sin for Mike Epps being America's only acceptable negro as if there aren't plenty of other talented entertainers available
nope the greatest sin... .was not using Sidney Sweeneys... talent
Finally somebody said something about the truck driving like a maniac towards the river.
This has driven me nuts since seeing it.
Thank you so much.
I can't get over the fact that Morbius writers were hired again by Sony to write this movie with even worse result
This was written by the Morbius writers? Well that explains a lot.
Cinema Sins was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died
There's no crying in baseball movies like moneyball
Additional sin, if Ezekiel determined that the girls would kill him in 10 years when they get their powers, WHAT IS THE RUSH?? You got 10 years to take these girls out. And why all at once? You can pick them off one at a time
The real Madame Webb is Joan Lee, the wife of Stan Lee.
Change my mind.
Having the girls from EUPHORIA & the FIFTY SHADES TRILOGY in this movie yet I honestly enjoyed the Stan & Joan Lee cameos in APOCALYPSE more, should tell you. ...*YOU DONE ED-UP A-ARON!*🤪😹
Disinterested sin counter is now my favorite sin counter (second only to dying sin counter).
Which movie is dying sin counter under?
@@horrorjunky4life50there was a fast and furious destroyed sin counter
There was also a TEN OF THESE FUCKING MOVIES counter for Fast X
Makes you wonder if Madam Web is the reason Peter’s life is so cursed now.
Let's be honest I'm never going to watch this movie, but I feel I've got all I need from it out of your commentary. Thank you.
It’s a decent movie
@@pa4o93ir49 Yep, most of it is enjoyable until the ending, which I have to admit was disappointing.
And even that's not much, because the plot is awful, the characters vapid, and the logic absent
lol this is gonna be funny 0:01
I'll admit, all I could focus on was the slowly collapsing sin counter during the latter part of the video
Sin #1 should be making this movie in the first place… and NOT INCLUDING SPIDER-MAN!
Disney owns Marvel. People can complain about Disney, but even they have the business sense not to make this trash.
The Acolyte would like a word...😂
It was. He got it. 1st. DING
Fun other sin that’s never discussed: it’s not poison, but venom. Poison is if you indigest it, venom’s if it bit you.
Sydney Sweeney says "We're being kidnapped" not very loudly, with no one listening. And that's why the entire police force is after them now
When Casandra said "I'm the magnificent Marvelous Mad madame web" I freakin died of laughter
How old would someone have to be to even get that reference?
@@jasonblalock4429 probably 10
@@jasonblalock4429pretty much anyone of drinking age should be old enough.
Edit: never mind. that movie is way older than I thought it was.
Yeah but she stole the dance and most of the song from Burger King.
th-cam.com/video/3oK-AzJH2Bw/w-d-xo.html
To quote Captain America, “I understood that reference!”
About to start watching this and before I do I want to congratulate the crew of Cinema Sins for compressing this into 22 minutes rather than the 120 minutes I expected.
They fell asleep just like the Sin Counter and everyone else who watched this movie!🤪😹
The way the sin counter just kept falling down😂😂
Lmfao I love the uninterested Sin Counter
By the way, you don't have to check the pulse before you start CPR. The person will complain if they have one. One sin for the master of sins. Great vid nontheless.
Yes you do. It’s the second step after slapping the shoulders and loudly asking if they’re ok
@@Erika-us2ws Checking for a pulse is extremely difficult even for a medical professional in a situation like this - it's not taught at all as part of CPR training. (I've actually gone through training on CPR multiple times and I now *give* bystander CPR training myself).
Oh man, this ones gonna be a reeeaaal doozy, *buckles the fuck up*!!!
Please sin the dance movies from the late 90s/early 00s.....you know the ones. Step up and You Got Served (and many more) have had it easy for TOO LONG
Agreed 💯
The biggest sin of all is not including that one line in the trailer “he was in the amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died”.
Sony are fucking cowards.
They never heard of periods or commas have they?
I wish I had bought stock in Amazon back then. I'd be a gozillionaire.
Live and let learn.
"I won't let them destroy everything I built" "I came from nothing"
Zeke, buddy, here's a tip: NO ONE wants to be murdered, you don't need a reason to not wanting to be killed.
I wish this was a George Lucas quote, describing Disney
Honestly deserved a bonus round for when Ezekiel’s dialogue is ADR 😅
I had a stray kitten show up two days ago and I've been wondering what to name him. I wonder no longer. His name is Ponkidoo.
An excellent choice.
3:06 fuck milk and cookies, how the fuck did she get on a plane??? With what paperwork??? What passport?????
blockbuster has become movie shorthand for "were back in time now"
I've never heard of "industrial strength fireworks". How did that slip by the sin counter. What "industry" uses fireworks, instead of explosives? Is there a festive demolition industry that I missed out on a job opening in? Somebody scripted that line, and apparently they know something that I don't...smh
I'm surprised you didn't sin the movie's epic opening line, "I agreed to provide security for your group because I thought you were close to finding THE SPIDER." 🤣🤣🤣
Ur first sin or maybe even a 100 should've been "this movie exists"(ding)
"This movie exists"
*700,000,000 sins*
What exactly are "industrial strength" fireworks? Are they using them in steel mills or something?
The sin counter drooping is more interesting than the movie
Anytime Adam Scott was on screen I couldn't stop thinking of his Parks & Rec character. The two characters have the same first name and his mannerisms are very similar. That was the only fun I had watching this movie, thinking of an entirely different TV show.
His was probably the best casting in the movie. It's a shame they kind of wasted him. You could actually make a decent movie with these characters, but this wasn't it.
As for the name, he's Uncle Ben, so the name had to be that no matter what. Just a funny coincidence since he played a popular Ben character elsewhere
I am sad not to see the sin counter count the many times Ezekiel seems to care about being in his suit. It doesn't make sense to me. I thought the suit might protect his identity but then he just takes off the mask at random times and even tries to kill them in the subway, in front of people, and THEN goes to put on the suit... like what?
Cinemasins, the Alastair Sim Christmas Carol is the best version. Me and my family watch it every year, alongside the Polar Express. The real sin is the fact she’s watching it in summer.
You could have just chalked it up to "this movie exists" and given it 1000 sins for that to save 22 minutes.
I’m only watching this so I don’t have to watch the movie.
Me to me To
You're not missing anything. I couldn't make it past the first twenty minutes
Also, what did they have on Jill Hennessy that made her accept the role of nameless murder vixen?
Whatever it was, they also used it to compell her into RoboCop 3.
Exactly this! She is early 2000 television queen!
She was in Exit Wounds with Steven Seagal. She has no shame.
I literally just came back from the eye doctor and lost it at your eye doctor joke at the beginning😂😂😂
14:26 despite what the crappy writers want you to think, Cassie is not the lead suspect in anything. The cops never got more than a basic description of her, ie "female, 30s, long brown hair".
It's like the writers wanted the audience to believe there was some actual tension over being on the run from the law without there actually being any tension, so that they didn't have to go to the effort of coming up with clever explanations for how she got to the Amazon, or home again.
Ah yes. Madame Web. A character that exists solely because some idiot decided that Spidey needed his own version of Professor X.
Just to clarify, this really isn't a "Marvel" movie, in a literal sense. Notice how it said "In Association With" in small letters above "MARVEL." This is purely a Sony movie, and Marvel/Disney themselves have nothing to do with it. Sony owns the rights to these characters, while Marvel/Disney own the rights to the live-action Spider-Man himself (temporarily). That's why Sony literally cannot include an actual Spider-Man or Peter Parker in any of these movies - it's not that they don't want to (they'd certainly love to), they just legally aren't allowed to do it. Their plan was to eventually get the rights to the Spider-Man character back and have a big movie with Spider-Man and all of these other characters - I think the plan was actually to collaborate with Disney/Marvel on it. But now that all these movies have been so terrible, I don't think Marvel/Disney wants to do anything like that anymore.
" But now that all these movies have been so terrible, I don't think Marvel/Disney wants to do anything like that anymore." I don't think it would bother them.
Their own poorly received, shit-show TV series don't seem to be stopping them from making more poorly received, shit-show TV series.
The sin counter slowly drooping off the screen was hilarious. An apt description of how it felt to watch this movie 😅
0:15 Well, this is Marvel licensed by Sony, and not the MCU. So of course they’re not doing the 3D one.
I’d like to address one sin in particular. It was the sin about Casie and Ezekiel having different powers. That shouldn’t be a big deal because it is plausible that they both have different powers because of how they both reacted to being dosed with the venom. Kinda like how people are born with different abilities naturally (like some people are born to make a free throw from center court due to hand eye coordination and height while others are not.) and yes the fact he was dosed with the venom directly and she was not could also have an effect on how potent her dose was. She could have extremely strong visions of the future because she was born predisposed to being a naturally more perceptive person for example but all her abilities overall including her visions are weaker than they otherwise would have been simply because she had an indirect dose. Meaning had she gotten a direct dose her visions would have been much stronger and more instantaneous.
The meh counter's storyline was the best thing I have seen today
Okay...okay wait. Did they paint the Las Arañas guys red with the vines as a...loose Spider-Man cameo? Really? Also, your subtitles said "Pubic tampon dispensers" which I laughed at harder than I should have.
I dont get why cinema sins wont go back to the old formula, the old stuff was short, funny and to the point, every video used to hit millions of views, now the videos are long and nitpicky, why? Whyyyy?
Comments turned off in latest video?
FINALLY waited months for this movie to be sinned, even begged them on insta to sin the hell out of it
Persistence pays off. Took me a year to get them to FINALLY Sin Dodgeball A True Underdog Story
I begged twice
How this movie made it out of this without over 100000 sins is beyond me 😂
The fact they would make such a movie 🍿!!!!
15:47 'in charge of PUBIC bathroom tampon dispensers' wtf lmaooooo
I noticed that all Ezekiel's scenes are cropped or edited because he wasn't saying the right lines or his accent prevented him from making any sense to the viewer.
Whoa, hang on. I draw the line at any besmirching of the Alastair Sim version of A Christmas Carol. That is THE one!
100% agree.
is it me or is dakota's acting skills very questionable? she doesn't even talk like a regular human being, she talks like a boring robot reading words.
21:48 You should have quoted Jurassic Park
"Uhhh... You are gonna wash your hands before you eat something, right?"
-- Dr. Ian Malcolm
Mandella Effect here at 11:22
His name isn't Smokey the Bear. It's Smokey Bear.
For years I watch you guys then watch the movie then watch you guys again...lol 😂😂
"No."
Let us pray for no sequel or Morbius crossover.
The fact the comments are off for the good boys video says a lot cuz Jeremy needs to be on a watch list cuz wtf
What happened?
Sin 117: villain ALSO survived THAT too. Cuz not like an ambulance or something like it while maybe not inflict lethal injuries wouldn't hurt his ass an spend rest the movie seriously hampering him or anything... No big deal, he just should be crippled or dead just a heavy vehicle slamming into him at high speed an a tall height was all
The sing counter falling was hilarious!
when I see this actress, I always remember her line from fifty shades of gray: What is a butt-plug? Its a plug. That you put it in your butt. Briliant writing, gentlemen.
Oh yes it’s madam webbin time this should have been a three parter.
16 minutes. I lasted 16 minutes. Sorry Cinema Sins, heres a like.
I would be quicker to count how many good things there are
"can't he just unbuckle" No. He can't. If the person is upside down, it's putting too much pressure on the latch for it to even be able to move by pressing the button. The seatbelt did its job. This may be LESS of an issue in modern days, but this movie was set in what...the late 80s? early to mid 90s? Blockbuster...so I'm taking a stab there. It's been nearly 30 years since this movie's setting. And while yes, that makes me feel HORRIBLY old, the technology put into car safety has changed so intensely since then.
WAIT THIS IS SET IN 2003???
"22 minutes or less."
Not long enough.
I came to this video just to say…. Cutting the comments for the good boys video has never made me want to see a comment section more lol